#chasing pavements

your “relationship” with theo was nothing short of perfect. you sat with him and the deigned “slytherin trio” at all meals, you had even convinced your professors to switch your seat to be next to his during your lessons. your dad had pulled you aside one day after class. it occurred about two weeks after you began to “date” theo. 

“theo puppy? are we sure?” he asked softly.

“i’m positive papa,” you smiled widely. “why? it’s not that weird pureblood thing where he’s like technically my cousin or something… is it?” you asked nervously, causing remus to let out a loud, genuine belly laugh.

“no, puppy he is not your cousin,” he smiled reassuringly. 

“oh okay… then yes i am positive about theo” you nod. remus hums softly, leaving the conversation at that as you skip right back into the arms of the aforementioned slytherin boy. remus had to admit, you were definitely much happier now, he was just confused as to how you had done a total one-eighty so rapidly. just the other day you were angrily sorting out his desk as you cried to him about harry… then the next hour you were sitting on theo’s lap at the great hall as the two of you shared a kiss.

remus decided against trying to fight you on the matter. he didn’t want to prod and cause you to shut down, and he figured that by now you were old enough to make your own decisions regarding your love life.

meanwhile, harry was deteriorating. he didn’t know what he had done to make you ignore him for so long, nonetheless to run into the arms of his enemies for comfort. he was completely lost. he no longer had his best friend, and he had no idea what he had done to cause the complete shift in both your mood and his relationship with you, but he was determined to fix it… after his anniversary dinner with ginny of course.

you were laying in your bed, nearly ready to go to sleep as you quietly read your book when there was a knocking on your door. you sighed softly and cho called that she’d get it. to your luck, it was ginny weasley. she was squealing about how amazing her date with harry had gone and now cho, parvati, and luna were squealing right along with her. you lasted up until the second she started spilling about the bouquet of roses and the promise ring that once belonged to lily.

silently, you stood from your bed, taking your favorite blanket along with you as you trudged your way through the castle, evading filch and any of the other teachers with the help of the marauder’s map that you and harry had previously traded back and forth along with the invisibility cloak. since the two of you hadn’t spoken in nearly months however, the map stayed in your possession and the cloak in his. you silently yawned as you trekked to the dungeons, rubbing the sleep from your eyes as you spoke the password and were allowed into the common room. 

you sighed softly as you walked towards theo’s dorm, shivering as you moved toward the part of the dorm that was under the black lake. you gently knocked twice before opening the door and quietly closing the door behind you. you sniffled as you finally allowed the tears to fall from your eyes as you climbed into theo’s bed, laying in front of him and wrapping his arm slowly around yourself. you sniffled once more, cuddling into his chest as you pulled your blanket over your head.

“princess?” theo grumbled sleepily as he stirred awake.

“hi theo” you whispered sadly.

“whatcha doin here? c’mon le’s get you under the covers, hmm? ‘s cold” he murmured softly, pulling the duvet over your body.

“thanks” you whispered solemnly as he pulled your body into him and gently rubbed your back. 

“d’you wanna talk about it?” he asked softly.

“no thanks,” you shook your head “jus’ wanna cuddle for a bit. i’ll go back to my dorm soon i promise,” you murmured softly.

“nonsense, stay as long as you’d like,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to your head.

“only if you quiet down,” you heard draco grumble from the bed beside theo’s, causing you to giggle through tears.

“sorry malfoy,” you giggled softly.

“for what it’s worth… potter’s a git,” he hummed quietly.

“thanks draco,” you whispered with a soft smile.

“course pretty girl. now get some rest” he mumbled tiredly, shuffling around and going to sleep himself. that was the best thing about theo and his friends. even though they knew you weren’t really dating theo, they still treated you like an angel trodding the earth. they adopted you as one of their own. and if somebody messed with you, they messed with them. and anybody that messes with them would have hell to pay.

though you were sure to draw the line at first through third years and harry and his friends… for now.

months went by and now you were back home for holiday break. one night, while you were sat at the dinner table with your dads and the potter’s, harry mentioned that he and ginny were planning to do a split christmas—half at the weasleys and the other half here. everyone shared murmurs of agreement that she was allowed over and you rolled your eyes, angrily stabbing into your baked potato with your fork.

“can theo come?” you asked softly.

“you want to invite a slytherin to family christmas?” harry scoffed.

“no” you glared across the table at him “i want to invite my boyfriend to family christmas” you argued, your harsh gaze never wavering.

“that’s just the thing though, yn… it’s family christmas. no place for your little boyfriend” he hummed triumphantly.

“then it’s no place for your little girlfriend either!” you exclaimed.

“ginny is a completely different story!” he exclaimed incredulously.

“why? because she doesn’t wear a green tie?!” you shouted across the table.

“that’s apart of it,” he shrugged casually.

“my god harry you are so full of yourself. just because someone doesn’t wear the same color tie, they aren’t good enough in your book!” you shouted. 

“i mean i didn’t say that but hey… if the shoe fits” he shrugged indifferently. you hummed softly, nodding once before returning silently to your meal. “oh what? i made fun of your little boyfriend and now you’re upset? god get over yourself yn” he rolled his eyes.

“my god and you still think that this is about theo! you’re so fucking oblivious potter it is actually painful to watch! a two year old could tell you exactly what’s wrong with the sentence that just came out of your mouth!” you shouted.

“what? what did i do to upset you so bad this time!” he yelled. your parents were doing nothing to stop this. before returning from hogwarts, remus had written them about the tension that was brewing between you two. they figured that leaving the two of you to argue it out would be better than attempting to break it up.

“harry…” you breathed, your tone deadly “what house am i?” you questioned. at that moment, every face at the table fell. they knew that harry had fucked up. and every single one of them knew exactly why.

“what? i don’t understand how this has any significance to this conversation” he guffawed.

“what. house… am i?” you spoke, slower this time, enunciating each syllable with a rampant amount of anger in your intonation.

“i… i… i don’t know?” he answered honestly.

“you don’t know?!” you laughed humorlessly. “i have been your best friend for seven. years. and you don’t know?!” you exclaimed. “oh god this is rich” you laughed once more. 

“what?!” he shouted.

“ravenclaw harry! i am a ravenclaw! i wear a fucking blue tie every single day that you see me and my room is blue and practically my entire wardrobe is blue, you pompous fucking asshole!” you shouted “but oh that’s right… silly of me to think you’d care about anyone that isn’t ginny weasley or wears a red tie. i forgot… you’re so much better than us peasants” you scoffed, standing from the table and moving to walk towards your room. you were thanking all the gods that would listen that dinner was at 12 grimmauld place tonight instead of in godric’s hollow. 

“stop it!” harry shouted, standing in front of you, blocking your place to the stairs.

“what harry?!” you shouted “how else would you like to destroy my self confidence tonight?!” you exclaimed, roughly shoving his chest.

“are…” he began, gulping softly “are you jealous of ginny?” there were noises of protest coming from the table behind the two of you, before the four adults released a heavy sigh. harry had fucked up once again.

“jealous?!” you shouted angrily. “god harry you are so stuck in your own little world that not a single other thing matters to you. hey how is it by the way? up there on your little pedestal? is it good weather?” you asked sarcastically. “you are such a goddamn narcissist potter not everything under the sun is about you. the world doesn’t revolve around the boy who lived” you rolled your eyes.

“hey whoa… you promised never to use that one against me no matter how angry we were at each other…” he murmured.

“yeah and you promised to always be there for me no matter what else you had going on but… that’s the thing about promises harry. they’re made to be broken” you whispered sadly, pushing him out of your way and returning to your bedroom. 

after you had stormed off to your bedroom, your dads gave you a few minutes to calm down before sirius came upstairs. “pup?” he asked softly, rapping twice against your door. you were a whirlwind of emotions on facetime with theo at the moment, but alas, you sniffled and rubbed your eyes as he opened the door. “brought you the rest of your dinner,” your dad whispered softly as he sat on the edge of your bed. 

“thanks dad,” you sniffled, wiping your eyes once more, smiling sadly as you took the plate.

“also brought you a um… vanilla oreo brownie. lily made ‘em. know they’re your favorite” he smiled softly. 

“thanks” you smiled softly, sitting up in the bed and starting to eat again.

“do you maybe… wanna talk about it?” he asked softly.

“no thanks dad,” you murmured sadly “think my human diary’s got it covered” you hummed, nodding towards your phone where theo was on the camera screen. 

“oh” he hummed surprised, smiling as he waved to your camera “hi theo!” he smiled.

“hi mr. black!” theo waved.

“will i be seeing you at christmas, son?” he asked.

“yn and i were just talking about that” theo smiled “i’ll be there if i can steal her for christmas eve,” he nodded.

“she’s all yours” sirius laughed softly before standing from your bed. “i love you puppy,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to your head.

“i love you too dad” you smiled as he turned and closed the door behind him. 

“potter’s an ass” theo hummed as soon as your dad was gone.

“yeah i kind of hate him right now” you hummed softly, taking a forkful of your baked potato.

“and you have every right to, princess” he nodded “i’ll see you christmas eve darlin’” he winked softly.

“see you christmas eve bubba. goodnight… thank you for listening,” you smiled softly.

“‘s what ‘m here for, gorgeous” he winked “goodnight lovely” he blew you a kiss and you giggled softly, pretending to catch it before the two of you hung up. 

the morning of christmas eve, you found yourself standing at the door of the nott residence. shortly after ringing the doorbell, you began to nervously fidget with your skirt and smooth out your outfit. “you must be yn” theo’s dad smiled as he opened the door.

“hi mr. nott” you smiled shyly “yn lupin-black” you introduced yourself, holding out your hand. he smiled and shook your hand before opening the door wider and allowing you to come in. 

“theo is in his room sweetheart” he smiled. you nodded once and he gave you the directions before showing you where the stairs were at. you walked up them and knocked on theo’s door, waiting until you heard him call you in until you opened the door. 

you stepped in, closing it behind you and looking around at the decorations he had. it was very minimal, but somehow also very him. “awh you got all dressed up, you look so pretty” he smiled softly pulling you into a gentle kiss. “i feel bad now we never do anything on christmas eve, i just wanted you to come hang out” he hums softly.

“oh no don’t feel bad!” you assured with a smile “we can hang out” you nodded softly.

“here, lemme get you some clothes to change into” he hums softly, walking over to his dresser. he pulled out a slytherin quidditch hoodie and a pair of his boxers. “there you are princess” he smiled. you nodded in thanks and allowed him to lead you to the bathroom. you pulled off your boots, stockings, and skirt before slipping on his boxers. once you pulled off your blue knitted sweater, you pulled his hoodie over your head, avoiding leaving makeup on it as you folded your clothes and walked back into his room. you set your folded clothes in a nice pile on top of his dresser and set your boots on the floor next to it before climbing into his bed with him.

“some of my friends were gonna come over for a little mini christmas dinner party thing. can invite some of yours ‘f you want” he hummed softly as he wrapped his arm around you.

“you are my friends… but i think you knew that and you wanted to make fun of me” you glared softly.

“only a little,” he laughed softly, placing a kiss on your head. “you play video games?” he hums.

“i used to with harry, but i was shit at it. he and ron used me as bait” you laughed softly. 

“yeah i can see that” he chuckled “wanna play?” he hummed, offering you his spare controller “once everyone comes over, we’ll start playing wii” he smiled.

“nah i’m okay. i’ll kick your ass in just dance later though” you teased.

“in your dreams princess” he laughed as he turned on his game console and started to play as you laid on his chest, scrolling through tiktok.

his friends arrived a few hours later, however he assured you it was just a pajama party, so you stayed in his pajamas as you and all the slytherins filled his dining room. draco and blaise pulled you into a hug as soon as they entered the house, and the rest introduced themselves to you as pansy, daphne, astoria, vincent, and gregory. theo introduced you as “his girl” and you all sat at the table to eat dinner. 

once dinner was finished, you all filtered into the game room and the guys began to play video games as you and the girls made tiktoks. once the boys got sick of fortnite, theo turned on the wii. you played games all night, and by the end of the night everyone had decided to have a sleepover, so you texted your dads to ask for permission, which they granted so long as you and theo were back to grimmauld place by nine the next morning to get ready for christmas dinner. the slytherins were great people to be around. by the end of the night, they had even added you to their two grouchats. one entitled “4 the girlies 💘” and the other entitled “🐍🐍'' which had gotten a new upgrade to say “🐍🐍  + yn.” 

you were positively dreading spending an entire day with harry potter and ginny weasley, especially after the argument you and harry had the last time the two of you were in the same vicinity. you and theo had woken up by eight on christmas morning to allow theo enough time to drive you both back to grimmauld place. once you arrived, your dads had already begun cleaning up, setting up presents and setting the table to prepare. you and theo spoke your greetings before you both began to help with set up.

it had taken about two hours to get the entire house cleaned up, but the potters and regulus’ family wouldn’t be coming over until about five in the evening. you told your dads that you and theo were going to go nap before getting ready, and they said that was fine as long as you left your bedroom door open. 

the shitshow didn’t begin until the potter family arrived with ginny weasley. you had on a cute skirt and a knitted sweater and theo wore jeans and a polo as you all sat at dinner. “so yn…” regulus began “theo huh?” he smirked, repeatedly raising his eyebrows.

“shut up uncle reggie!” you giggled “yes theo, this is my uncle reggie. uncle reggie, this is my boyfriend theo” you smiled as the two shook hands.

“a slytherin” reggie hummed “i knew your girl had good taste dear brother” regulus teased. the whole table laughed, but it seemed as though harry and ginny were forcing their laughs.

“do you plan on marrying him?” harry asked, glaring softly at theo. you were taken aback at the comment, but swallowed away your nerves as your face heat up in embarrassment.

“i um… i’m not sure harry we’ve only been dating a month” you answered honestly.

“well do you want to marry him?” he asked, now turning his much harsher glare in your direction.

“well um… again… we’ve only been dating a month,” you hummed.

“i’m just saying like the intention of dating is to marry so if you’re not planning to marry him then why bother?” he scoffed softly.

“why do you care harry?” you sighed as you rolled your eyes.

“because i don’t think the two of you are in love. i think this is just one of your little ploys for attention,” he challenged.

“you’re a prick potter,” you mumbled, turning to look down at your plate as you stabbed at your pasta with a fork. it was silent for a few minutes before you spoke up again. “you know what? no!” you began “i was gonna let it go but that’s not fair and you know that!” you exclaimed “why can you just never let me be happy harry? i can never have anything living in the same family as the oh so chosen one my god you are such a narcissist harry and you know what i could have gotten past that fact, but the fact that you can’t even see that what you do is hurting people just completely enrages me!” you exclaimed.

“oh i’m hurting you?!” he shouted “that’s rich coming from miss ‘i got a boyfriend and started to ignore my supposed best friend in the entire world,’” he scoffed.

“you ignored me first harry!” you exclaimed. “and you know what, yeah there was a point in time when i thought you were my best friend in the entire world, but that was before you started ignoring me and leaving me to the dust for ginny weasley! so yeah i got a boyfriend and started to ignore you but you know what? i’m not sorry! i finally have someone that actually listens to me! and cares whether or not i’m happy, or if i’ve eaten, or if i haven’t seen them or talked to them all day! i finally found someone that’s happy just because i’m happy and i don’t regret ignoring you for him because i would choose the man who took the time to fix my heart over the man who shattered it to pieces any day of the week!” you shouted.

“i broke your heart?!” he guffawed “god please enlighten me little miss princess complex!” he shouted.

“you did! every single time you chose ginny over me it shattered me! but you were happy harry so i was happy for you! because that’s what a best friend does! they put their feelings aside for the sake of their best friend harry and i did! i chose you! every single stupid fucking time i chose you, even if it meant sacrificing my happiness and well being i chose you and you couldn’t choose me once harry!” you exclaimed.

“all of this because i chose ginny and not you?” he scoffed.

“all of this because you continue to choose ginny and not me!” you yelled “i get it harry, she’s your girlfriend, but i am your best friend. i will always be here for you and it isn’t one hundred percent promised that she will be too. i get it, you’re in love with her harry and that’s amazing but god i just wish that for one second you could see the way that you hurt me” you shake your head in disbelief.

“what about ginny makes you so mad?!” he asked incredulously. and finally, the straw that broke the camel's back. that was the question that did it. and you finally confessed and spilled your guts and feelings all over the dining room table.

“because i loved you first!” you shouted “i loved you first and i loved you because of who you were! because you were funny, and charming, and a great listener, and an even better shoulder to cry on! and she loves you because you’re the chosen one! and when i told you how i felt, you said that you weren’t ready for a relationship, only to get into one with ginny the next day!” you yelled. “so yes harry, i’m mad. because you lied, and you continue to lie to everyone in our family and i just can’t.” you breathed “i can’t deal with it anymore i don’t want to. i won’t let you keep breaking my heart every day. so you choose ginny, and i’ll choose theo and we will completely pretend that each other do not exist. we will be cordial at family functions, but other than that harry, you are nothing more than the boy who lived to me. and i wish with my whole life that you hadn’t…”

“yeah? well right about now i wish i hadn’t too…” he murmured solemnly “this isn’t what i wanted yn. it never was and it never will be.” he breathed softly.

“yeah… but it’s for the best,” you whispered sadly, extending your hand toward theo “c’mon…” you murmured softly. theo nodded, standing from the table and taking your hand, allowing you to lead him up to your bedroom, where you locked the door and proceeded to break down in sobs as you laid on his chest.

theo pulled you tightly into his chest as you spewed apologies and begged for his forgiveness. theo shushed you gently, hugging you tightly as he rubbed your back and pressed gentle kisses to your head. he assured you that he wasn’t angry with you as you spewed apology after apology and he continuously assured you that it was okay as he continued to calm you down. and he stayed with you, comforting you all the way up until you ended up crying yourself to sleep on his chest, and even after. he stayed with you the entire night, sleeping next to you in your bed as he kept you pulled tightly to his chest, attempting to heal your shattered heart. you’ve never been more thankful for a fake boyfriend in your entire life. but somehow… the longer that you and theo pretended to be a couple, the more real that it felt, and the further in love with him you fell.