In celebration of Daisuke Sasaki's 20th wrestling anniversary, Sasaki and El Desperado teamed together for the first time. El Desperado even became a temporary member of Sasaki's faction, Damnation T.A, for the occasion.

Daisuke Sasaki went out to the floor and into the crowd during his band's performance

Daisuke Sasaki performs with his band CHANNEL D

With CHARISMANIA II coming up, i thought about one of my favorite KANON promos. He had a singles match against Shigehiro Irie at last years show, which he lost.

Sasaki felt that he himself had benefited from facing Irie in the past. So, Sasaki booked this match so that KANON could experience fighting Irie too. (This is one of the last instances where Sasaki seemed genuinly interested in helping KANON develop as a wrestler, before he inevitably kicked KANON out of Damnation t.a)

I don't have all my thoughts pulled together for this yet.

I spent far too many years immersed in charismagical thinking. Name it, claim it, Kingdom Health, Kingdom Wealth, etc

Accepting that I was becoming disabled while I was still working my way out of that mindset was really hard. And that's just the below-the-neck physical disabilities.

Never mind that I had been mentally disabled all my life and didn't know it. I thought I only had to work "twice as hard to get half as much". I was working 5 times as hard and getting nowhere because I had more hurdles to jump that normal people were blissfully unaware of.

I thought my failure to succeed was a moral failure on my part, not realizing that I'm carrying a 60 pound rucksack and wearing full battle rattle trying to win a foot race against someone who is dressed like an Olympic sprinter.

How the fuck was I supposed to know that my brain was not normal? It's the only one I have! All the shit I was struggling against just to function -- other people didn't have, this whole time? I thought their brains worked just like mine but they were just better at using it!

"A mind is a terrible thing to waste."

And don't get me started on demons. Depression is just a consequence of not reading your Bible enough, not praying enough, or not praising God hard enough.

Or the "depression is a decision" camp. Okay, that's cute, but my decisionmaker is broken, so...

Charismagical thinking was one of my biggest opps for almost half my life.

oh, sidenote:

When I was a kid living through the Satanic Panic of the Late Twentieth Century, I only heard the word "manifesting" in church and it referred to when somebody had a demon inside of them that was acting up and showing out. So manifesting had a negative connotation.

Now that manifesting is more associated with law of attraction stuff, the connotation is still negative in those church circles because how dare you "name it and claim it" without "planting a seed of faith" (giving money) in our ministry?