#chaptersleftunwritten

Quietly you agree as he turns the keys in the ignition and the old engine splutters weakly to life. The truck quickly backs out of the convenience store parking lot and you watch as Eddie Munson fades from your vision with an unspoken anticipation— his leather and denim clad figure shrinking with each passing second.

The brunette clocks the burgundy rust bucket of a truck reversing away— his curious eyes also settling on the pretty girl sitting meekly in the passenger seat. He recognised her even with her head downturned and a sour expression on her face. A growing and knowing grin tugs on the edges of his red bitten lips and Eddie was certain he just found his newest little interest.

You.

The towns ‘good-est girl’, the girl that mothers compared their own daughters to and the girl soon to be..

“Who is that?” Gareth interjects as he brings a beer up to his lips to take a large swig. His tone read recognition and slight confusion.

“That,” With absolute conviction Eddie extends his arm and points a silver adorned finger at the vehicle that was now barely within the groups view, “Is the future Mrs. Munson, boys. Whether she knows it or not….”

He meant every single word.

You would be his. One way or another.

-

Sunday afternoon is swarmed with brightness and warmth. The church choir met the resonate frequency of your soul, the sound drowning out the fatigue of the previous week. It nearly brought tears to your eyes every time you heard it. Those beautiful voices— singing like angels.

In sunshine or in thundering rain, the church spire reached up into that every stretching blue sky. It was as if it spoke love into your family— it was the only time you could see your father be truly at peace with himself. The rare occasion in which he would smile with sincerity.

Ever since your mother passed away when you were only 6 years old, the church has been your father’s guiding light. A love so solid that it provided him with stability and strength.

So, naturally, he made the church a part of your life too. Hoping that it too would make you strong.

And it did, it did make you strong.

But it also excluded you from many things one should experience in their teenage years.

You hadn’t many friends, party invitations always seemed to skip over you, never have you allowed yourself to drink alcohol or smoke a cigarette and you have never partook in any sort of sexual ‘deviancy’.

Including exploration of self.

It was fair to say that amongst your peers, you were an outcast— but you were an outcast that didn’t fit in with the other outsiders. You were martian.

Which made you all the more provocative and compelling to Eddie. He had to get to know you for his own sanity. Understand you. Pick you apart.

The encounters started in the height of Spring and they continued to relent into Summer where sundresses were all you could afford to wear thanks to the smothering heat and you dearly missed the feeling of your beloved rain pattering down to cover your skin.

It sent Eddie into a feral frenzy to see you in a skirt— especially the frilly pastel pink one that allowed the plush smooth skin of your thighs to peek out just slightly beneath the hem, the skin just merely out of reach from the tips of his longing fingers.

“Where ya off to, Sweet thing?” His van crept beside you as you trodded on the sidewalk at a speed that whispered predatorial, one of his arms propped up to rest on the open window which he spoke to you out of.

“I’m going home, Eddie…” Quiet. Too quiet. You knew it would rile him. You knew that walking home today was a mistake:

You never did quite learn to listen to your intuition.

“Can’t hear ya, Sweetheart. Speak up.” A snap of his jaw, his voice is honey laced with poison.

“I’m going home.” Abruptly your feet come to a staggering stop and Eddie’s brakes scream as they slow the vans momentum.

“Jesus H. Christ—“ His head jolts with the force of the vehicle  stalling and his once soft eyes now glare at you, realisation promptly igniting them with amusement, “Ohhh wait— what is it you folks say? Never speak the Lords name in vain?”

Your stomach plummets. Anxiety is a finger pressed to your lips as you prepare yourself for whatever he may say next.

Part of you foolishly thought that you were used to this by now. The teasing, the torment— the disrespect.

How naive and stupid you were.

“Do you pray on your knees?” The engine is killed and the silence only thickens. Eddie is like a gazelle on his feet as he swiftly bounds out of the van to approach you, “I bet you do— I bet…” He taps his fingertip on his lips in thought, “That you do more than just pray when you’re down there. Don’t cha’?” Fast fingers pinch at a strand of your hair, yanking it softly and despite the gentle nature of the assault the action still causes you to yelp in surprise.

“No, stop it!” Unsteady feet stumble backwards away from him and Eddie applauds your attempt at deflection and chuckles wholeheartedly in response.

“Oh— come on! Stop bein’ such a bore.” He beams, all teeth. Wolfish. Ravenous.

An unpredicted switch flips at the sight and your face begins to warm until your cheeks scorch to a newfound shade of pink flesh.

Something foreign within you stirs— awakens.

Serene at first, its grotesque arms and legs gently sprawl out wide as it searches for comfort during its rapid occupancy of your sternum cavity. Its dark eyes shoot open with a deeply rooted and demanding hunger and it begins to shriek— that shriek lengthening into a roar until…

“Where’d ya go, sugar? Gone all loopy on me.” Sharp features appear heightened with his gaze set upon you and still he is adorned by that animalistic mask.

“I just wanna go home, please.” A pathetic beg.

A plea, not only toward Eddie, but toward the growing darkness forming within you. You begged your mind to stop, to leave the lewd thoughts buried. Let them die where they stood. However, the more you begged the more they intensified.

Doubled. Quadrupled.

Because when you ask your brain to not think about something, guess what happens?

You do.

It’s inescapable. The sin. The shame.

It’s the dull knife that twists and rips at your chest.

“I have to go, Eddie—“ Then it’s the raging voice of the one person you had hoped to avoid until dinner time.

Your father.

“Hey, you!!” His distain is directly fired at Eddie, “Get away from my daughter now!” Your father may have played football in high school but his physical fitness was now somewhere between couch potato and pensioner as he jogged his way toward the pair of you.

Instead of shrinking in fear at the sight of your father Eddie simply grins, entertained at the sight. Fierce eyes meet yours briefly before he retreats to the safety of his van and screeches off, barrelling down the street at a speed that was definitely illegal.

By the time your father reaches you he is slightly panting, out of breath, “You alright?” He keels over, his hands resting on top of his jean covered knees as he fights to catch his staggering breath, “Told you to stay away from him, didn’t I?”

“I’m fine, Dad…”

As fine as you were, something didn’t make sense…

“Why are you here? Where were you going?” You should’ve know better than to question your own father but it was suspicious— he was in the right place at the right time?

Unlikely.

“You’re usually home by now so I went out lookin’ — Do I have to worry about this Munson fella? Because I will go speak to his Uncle if need be.” A nuclear threat.

“No! No— it’s alright. He just needed directions s’all.” You were getting good at this whole lying ordeal. Becoming a real pro.

“Well, alright then,” He straightens his posture, rebuilding his spine vertebrae by vertebrae, “You hungry?” His meaty hands land on his hips and you smile softly at the action, forgetting for a moment why you would ever have to hide anything from him.

“Yeah,” Fingers curl tensely around the worn leather strap of your book bag and you shrug one shoulder nervously, “I could eat.”

-

Church bells sing, lulling the crowding sheep into a joyful trance, enticing all to enter the blessed space of mass one after the other in a respectfully calm manner.

No rush. No pushing. No fear.

Just hope.

Hope for brighter days, hope for a laughter filled future, hope for a restful nights sleep—

Something collectively shared as tired bums settled comfortably onto polished, but openly loved, wooden benches.

As the clock hands settled on 8:00am and the chiming bells softly began to fade the sound took your fatigue with it. A newfound energy warming you for the inside out.

“Let us commence,” your lowered eyes find the old maroon carpet that had been badly trodden over the last few years, evident that no amount of carpet shampoo nor conditioner could save the artefact

Today’s service marked the annual bake sale. Something widely enjoyed by the community and issued by the church to try and help raise funds for the restoration and preservation of the deteriorating church building foundations. There was gentle music and song played by generous volunteers, books and pastries all on display up for grabs and of course you would be donating— anything to secure yourself a tasty delight and the comfort of a new book.

“I’ll have the one with the strawberry on top, please!” You beam at the elderly lady, Gladice, behind the stall and she gleams back at you, pushing her rectangular purple glasses up the bridge of her nose before packaging your small order, “How much do I owe?”

“80¢ please, dear—“

“I got it,” An outstretched leather arm engulfs your vision as it hands a 5$ bill to Gladice who seems to take it with no suspicion or second thought whatsoever, “Throw in a coupla’ brownies as well, please. Keep the change.”

The ears attached to your head hear the grin on his face before you see it.

Time seems to slow as you pivot your face toward him, eyes in disbelief as his face comes into view— mere inches away from your own.

“Hi,” Chirpy, as always, “Lovely day, isn’t it?”

And it was. Until now.

“Why are you here—“

“Here you go, Petal. Enjoy. I baked them all myself!” Gladice holds out a floral patterned paper bag which secured all of your goods inside. You smile at her politely but absentmindedly and take them from her grasp whilst also trying your best to scoot away from Eddie who seemed to be looming over you like something from a Nightmare on Elm Street.

“To answer your question, which is pretty fucking rude by the way, I’m here to show my support— obviously!” Long fingers find comfort around Eddie’s bicep as he drapes his arms across his body, “You’ve clearly forgotten that I, too, am a resident of this community. Freak or not.”

Widened eyes stare at him. Half horror and half disassociation.

“You never come to church. Never—“

“First time for everything.” A casual shrug that enrages you.

“My dad could’ve been here…” Quiet and clipped.

“But he isn’t,” Devilish eyes shimmer, “Not here to save his precious little girl this time”

His shifting personality made your head spin. It was almost intoxicating.

In your mind, people were staring from every corner of the room with darting eyes and snarled whispers. FBI agents who will undoubtedly be reporting every word and movement back to your dad who happened to be laid up at home with some sort of sickness.

“I don’t need him to ‘save’ me. I just want you to leave me alone.”

Oh, if only it were that simple.

Eddie could never just leave you alone— how could he? Someone else might come along and snatch you up. He had to ensure that his spot was secure in your life. As unpleasant as it was in the present moment he knew that you would grow to love it.

Build a tolerance.

Consume him until he is palatable.

Let him in…

He just had to break you in first—

“Sorry, Bun. Not gonna happen. I kinda like it here.” He wasn’t necessarily lying, but total truth be told, Eddie found churches the pinnacle of creepy! Everything about it weirded him out. The smell of damp festering deep within the walls, like the church was a decaying corpse, the drinking of watered down and nasty wine, the way each person seemed totally zombified whenever the priest started preaching— and don’t get him started on the vampiric cult vibes radiating from each press of the organ keys.

It was funny because despite all of this irrational fear, Eddie was still the one accused of Satanism and Devil worship.

“Well…” Shoulders heave with a sigh, “Can I at least eat my pastry in peace?” You look at him sweetly with blown and bright eyes.

Acceptance. Just what he wanted.

“Sure, Sweetheart— but only if I get to watch you lick the cream off.” Total fucking filth heats your face and your scoff in response is complete disgust, rolling your eyes in a quaking attempt to ignore the gnaw in your lower abdomen.

“You are revolting!” Shaking hands pumped full of adrenaline discard of the sweet goods on a nearby table, “Now I don’t even want it.” Truly, you were utterly devastated.

In challenge, Eddie picks up the paper bag, pinching it with his fingers and examining it before his abysmal eyes flicker to you, “Ya sure?” A growing grin stretches his face almost unnaturally, a knowing smile that read, ‘big fucking mistake’.

You huff and nod, refusing to feed his wicked thoughts any longer.

“Suit yourself, Princess.” Steady fingers plunge into the paper bag, taking out the one thing you had been looking forward to all damn day. A cream and strawberry tart with the freshest berry you’ve ever seen adorning the top- crystallised in a sugar glaze just ever so slightly.

“Last chance…” His tone goes from playful and flamboyant to serious within a blink of an eye.

“Yes. Just have it, you paid for it.” Your crossed arms tighten around your frame.

All Eddie could think about was how much of a little brat you were being. Rude to him from the moment he arrives, turning your nose up at the kindness he showed you when he bought you a pastry and now here you are refusing it all because of a lil’ bit of banter.

He ought to teach you a lesson or two.

One of them being how to sit on your ass properly when it’s stinging and red fucking raw from a spanking.

His teeth grit as he bites back the cruel words that he wants to say and opts for something a lot more amusing instead— something sure to leave you and the rest of the church attendees mortified.

The delicate pads of Eddie’s fingers stroke along the skin of the decorative strawberry, enticing it to speak, but it never will. Fleshy tips skim across the surface of the whipped cream before submerging themselves fully into the dessert and bringing the sugary goodness to his lips.

“Oh baby—“ An exaggerated moan.

Everything about the way he was devouring the pastry should’ve felt wrong. But it didn’t.

Your heart beat out of your ears, thundering anxiously within your chest and you found yourself frozen like a fawn in headlights. His half lidded eyes had you so easily pinned to the spot and where it should have vexed you it only excited you further— especially when Eddie’s tongue decided to join the party.

It was barbaric.

The thirst you felt was instinctive. Primal. A need that only Eddie could satiate. You could lap him up, drink gallons of him, consume him until you were bursting at the seams and yet—

You would still crave more. The hunger would remain.

The greed sickened you, but you couldn’t look away. Vision tunnelled to only focus on Eddie and the way his pointed tongue was pressed hot and flush against the beloved tart…

And it wasn’t just your attention that was dominated by him— other members were bewitched by his actions from near and from afar.

Just as intended.

Horror, disgust, curiosity, morbidity, arousal.

These emotions were evident on the varying faces around the room— they also just happened to be a slim pick of the many, many things you were presently experiencing.

A tightness wound like a spring at the pit of your stomach. A despicable and sloppy sultry need— one that should be shunned and banished to the darkest depths of your being. It’s strength was monstrous and extreme and the way your breathing staggered and laboured had you rocked to your core.

A newfound dampness grew along the clinging panel of your panties and you could feel the curvature of your growing plumpness. Your heat swelling and utterly confused.

It was urgent— the vicious hankering that plucked at your nerves. The images your mind began to conjure up from an otherwise normal activity left you breathless and stunned.

You wanted— you needed Eddie’s thick and sopping tongue against you. Every ounce of you craved to have the strong muscle flexed inside your already dripping hole.

He was the one to ruin you.

And you would let him.

“Never tasted something so sweet…” Blackened eyes settle on your flushed face, flickering to your reddening neck which sets a smile on Eddie’s face, “Well, there may be something sweeter than this. Just not had the chance to taste her yet.”

A quick wink is all it took for you to early crumble at the knees.

You have never despised something more.

It hits you all too quickly, the realisation of where you are and who you are with. The head upon your shoulders tosses from left to right and your worried eyes briefly skim over the faces of your surroundings.

Deep down you knew that they weren’t any better than you. That their expressions, too, shared layers of lustful desire and sin.

And yet, you were chewed up on the inside. Your shame festering into something wicked and unholy.

It proved to be all too much, and in a feeble attempt to save yourself from the inevitable fall from grace, you take off to the bathroom like a fearful animal. As fast as your wobbly legs could carry you.

Hoping for sanctuary.

Praying for forgiveness.

-

The dinner table was oddly silent the following night. Like usual.

However, within the quiet, there was a undoubted shift. Something had tilted your perfect stage but you were the only one who knew about it— your performance never ending.

Mouth full after relentless mouth full.

Meat. Peas. Carrots. Peas. Carrots. Meat.

It exhausted you to chew.

“You look tired,” Your father’s heavy eyes don’t leave his plate, in fact, they are almost shielded by his thick and untamed eyebrows, “How is school?”

His attempt at unwanted small talk.

“School is good,” you lay down your fork, signalling you are now officially finished with your meal, “How.. uh.. how was work today?”

Evidently, you weren’t very good at this. Talking to him.

He never truly knew how to raise a daughter on his own. When you were born your mom and dad moved away from your grandparents and the only family you had, something about them not approving of your parents’ shotgun wedding arrangements, so your father never had much help from anyone. And you didn’t really have a female figure to look up to that wasn’t someone on the television or printed in magazines.

Thankfully, despite this, you managed to keep control of your personal style. You loved girly frills and lace, dresses and skirts. Even in the Winter, you loved it.

Pop music and jewellery, makeup and hairspray. None of it had to be sacrificed.

Your father never batted an eyelid, always assumed that girls will be girls, especially if they are becoming young adults.

So, he left you to it.

He trusted you.

“That’s what I wanna talk to you about,” Finally, fatigued and sunken eyes meet your face as he takes a sip from his glass, “I have to leave town for a bit. Maybe a few days, maybe a week. Think you’ll be okay here on your own? I can ask the Wheelers down the street to check in on ya every so—”

“No, Dad, I’ll be okay.” Reassurance with a smile.

He ponders for a moment before his stiff muscles relax back into the dining chair, “Alright then. I’ll leave you plenty of pizza money—” He chuckles lightly before he adds suddenly rigid, “—Remember to be at Church on Sunday, bright as a bird in May. I need you to hand in some donations for The Salvation Army. Let them know it’s from me.”

He always seemed to tense up at the thought of missing Church or leaving the community. If it were up to him, his job would be at the Church. He would sleep on the grim Church floor if it meant he never had to leave.

You hum a soft ‘mhmm’ and nod.

“Oh—“ He stands up, his callused hands slowly beginning to clear the small dinner table, “And mind that Munson boy,” He says his name with such bitterness, “Stay away from him, I mean it. He ain’t nothing but curly hair and trouble. Someone ought to speak to his Uncle about all the meddling he’s been doing on holy grounds.”

Your breath catches in the base of your throat and you swear that your heart momentarily stops beating.

Someone had spoke to him about the events of yesterday. Someone had snitched.

Though, luckily for you, none of his displeasure was directed at you. And as your bulging eyes settle on the back of your father head it seems that you may have just gotten off the hook. Although you hadn’t done anything wrong, a huge part of you still felt otherwise guilty for Eddie’s behaviour. He was trying to rattle you and in the process he managed to… upset… others.

You, too, leave the table. Saying goodnight with another smile and retreating to your darling bedroom.

Light fell at the end of the day, washing vibrant green to their softest of hues and uplifting purples to their most vivid. Even the clouds that had been a creamy white only an hour before were now an enchanting shade of deep rose. With the gold of dawn and midday banished to tomorrow, all that was left was for the sky to be painted a thick layer of tar black and whisper the return of the moon.

The darkness is welcomed as your mechanical fingers switch on one of your two bedside table lamps. The warm bulb is quick to warm your room and you smile at the beaded and pale pink inanimate object. Rejoicing in the memories of all the years you have owned it. That lamp has seen you weep, snore, laugh and long. Other people had teddy bears from childhood but you?

You had your lamps.

Slipping into the waiting coolness of your bedsheets you are overcome with bliss. For no particular reason, today had been gruelling. It felt busier than it usually was and at times you were left with whiplash, trying to keep up with your own mind which seemed to be close to combustion.

You roll from left to right, the bodily movement punctuated with a airy sigh as you reach for a sip of water. Propped up on one elbow whilst the other arm was occupied with the simple task of gulping down some fluids. Even in that moment it still seemed like too much effort— more than what it was worth.

Remaining upright your eyes creep to the window, surveying the small crack which parted the curtains just ever so slightly. Childishly, your mind wanders to a place filled with monsters and ghouls— horrifying beings that waited for you and lurked in the dark.

Your rational mind knew that there was nothing there, but you still swiftly switched off the lamp and scampered beneath the duvet cover with a quiet girlish giggle. Pulling the thick blanket up to your chin where it would remain for the foreseeable future.

Fists knock and misshape the pillows beneath your head harshly until out of frustration you decide to discard of one entirely and instead clutch it to your chest in a tight hug.

“Ahh— better.”

The slow swirl of the shadowed ceiling and the plush embrace of the mattress beneath your weary bones is happily familiar. The scent of recently washed sheets and the buzzing silence elicits a comforting sigh from your throat.

Eyelashes drift down, then reopen, then back down again. A state of perfect half-sleep.

The weight of the pillow pressed so close to you feels nice— like a person held to your breast.

Your grip on the pillow tightens, the soft insides conforming to every curve of your silhouette in the best way.

You shift to lay on your stomach, the pillow separating you from the mattress below. And in an unexpected, but welcomed surprise, you feel the firm corner of the pillow pressed perfectly between your thighs.

A faint tingle finds your lower abdomen and a slight tremor sneaks up on your thighs. It’s strangely comforting. Familiar, even though you haven’t fully felt this sensation before. You allow it to linger there, undisturbed for a while as your mind and body agreeably adapt to it.

Trying to doze off with your hands wedged beneath your pillow proves difficult when the stubborn heat between your legs refuses to disperse. Five minutes turns to ten and with each passing second your thighs grip and squeeze the pillow tighter, greedier.

A small gasp and a throb from within when your clit is rocked just right against the hardened edge.

“I shouldn’t…” You knew that much, but sometimes the heart— or the body— wants what it wants.

Without a wasted second you begin to push your cunt down into the pillow, swirling your hips and biting your lip. Drool dampens your bedsheets and you chew on them as you writhe around beneath the warm duvet. A steady rhythm builds, your lower back arching and compressing with each greedy curl of your hips. Messily your knees knock and knead at the mattress springs below and without warning your foggy brain recalls Eddie’s tongue.

Usually you would fight away the thoughts, but it wasn’t your brain doing the thinking anymore.

With each aggressive hump of your pussy you picture yourself grinding down on Eddie’s mouth. His plump lips ravishing you from below.

You swallow back a whimper, your eyes screwing shut and your eyebrows narrowing as the sound of erotic slick fills your empty bedroom. The noise is intoxicating and you allow yourself a soft and muffled moan into your pillow, “Agh…”

Soaking wet panties drag sloppily against the now ruined pillowcase, your muscles lock into place with the pleasure and your cunt has a mind of its own. Forcefully fucking itself against the bed, your slit over flowing through the cotton of your panties and saturating the fabric below.

The tip of Eddie’s nose prodding at your clit just enough to tease you as his tongue lapped at your dripping folds. His gorgeous brown eyes blown with lust looking up at you hungrily as he devours your aching pussy.

“Oh, Eddie…” A hot breath and a shaky mewl against the bed, desperate not to be heard.

A sudden rush of warmth grows between your quivering thighs and you push harder, groaning as hot rivulets of lust course through you. Butterflies tickle your lower stomach and a pressure dominates your senses. A hand clamps over your mouth to hush your scream and differing series’s of jolts electrocute your abdomen, your pulsing pussy staggering against the mess of your panties.

All in a swift second you feel the stress of the day wash from your chest, down to your legs and leave out of the covers. Vanishing.

There comes a steady hum of silence, punctuated by your own ragged breath as you collapse into the mattress. Tiredness claiming your mind, not allowing you to dwell too much on the name you just whimpered aloud.

-

Summer shivered beneath a storm. Rain blossomed from the ether, kissing the lips of the dusty and drought ridden concrete. The streets were no longer bathed with sunlight and now had to content itself with mean and howling winds. With a positive outlook you could’ve smiled at the heavenly split in the sky, welcoming home the pounding rain— but goosebumps don’t lie and you didn’t even armour yourself with a coat. Bare arms and bare legs.

Thunder clapped the clouds and deafened flocking birds. Every bright colour was washed dim and you caught sight of your own reflection in the grocery store glass. Every customers smile fell flat whilst you gaped at the weather thrashing outside. It was beautiful, but in a deathly way— as nature always is.

It wasn’t supposed to have arrived yet, the storm, but it was here. That’s all it took for shutters to close. Doors met their catch with bolt and chain, too and people retreated to the comforts of their homes. One cannot simply ask the sky to recheck the calendar because one wants to barbecue. It doesn’t care. It doesn’t know.

So, after grabbing everything you need, you take cover beneath a nearby hanging tree.

What else was there for you to do?

Your dad was long gone and you had no one else to rely on for a car ride home.

You had to brave the torrential rain.

Shivering.

“It’ll pass…” You tell yourself in half hope and half surrender.

It would pass— the problem you faced was: when?

How long could you endure the wind cutting at your glacial and rain soaked skin before you catch a summer fever?

Probably not very long.

Your flesh had been whipped raw and you feared the consequences of ammonia. Flat hair sticks heavily to your forehead as your soggy sneakers charge into the brunt of the storm. Skin is streaked with bruising droplets and you laugh as you bring your forearm up to try and shield your face.

It was a pointless manoeuvre but with rain so thick you could hardly see through your fallen eyelashes.

There is something about a rain covered path that is so inviting to playful feet. Each new step is rewarded with a tiny splash and puddles yearn for you to jump in them— you don’t, but you wish you could’ve.

You trudge along, determined to make it home without your clothes being blown off of you. The closest supermarket to your house was 15 minutes on foot so you knew you still had quite the challenge ahead of you.

The thin and lightweight material of your dress had been soaked all the way through and now clung to every inch of your skin underneath, accentuating the soft curve of your hips and stomach and the fullness of your chest.

This outfit seemed like a perfect idea this morning and now? Not so much…

The once grey road was now a fine black line of ink against natures greenery. Jagged brush spilled out from across the tarmac road and it was only now you realised how empty the streets had became. Not a person in sight. Not an engine to be heard.

What was recently a joyous walk had now transpired into something sinister as the thickened and plagued clouds tormented the sky above in huge twists and swirls. You were alone on this path and were suddenly struck with a low level of panic.

You had to get home.

Out of the gloom up ahead, like a beacon of hope, was two headlights that shone blindingly bright. However, upon closer inspection you realised they belonged to a vehicle whose owner was the last person you wanted to see at present.

So much so that you deeply considered nose diving into a nearby thorn bush just to avoid confrontation.

Out of mere habit your legs eventually still and Eddie’s van rolls to a gentle stop. He nearly didn’t recognise you with how drenched you are.

“What are you doing?” He could laugh at the sight of you, but watching you tremble and brace yourself on unsteady legs alerted him that this wasn’t the right time, “Need a ride home?” He had to strain his voice to be heard over the rain.

Dumbfounded you gawk at him, his blurred appearance felt dreamlike and angelic. Looking at him now gave you bags upon bags of mixed feelings.

Yes, you needed a ride home, but after what you did the other night it felt totally perverted and wrong to climb into a van with him. Here he was, in the flesh, how would you cope in such a confined space?

What would you even talk about? What would you say?

Too much to weigh and comprehend in such a little amount of time.

“Helloooo? Have you turned into a popsicle?” His eyebrows furrow with both confusion and mild concern at your lack of verbal and bodily response. You were as stiff as a board, “You’re gonna get sick.”

If you weren’t so caught up in your emotional turmoil you may have actually chuckled at his fatherly scolding tone.

He makes a sound that mimics the frequency of a walkie talkie and he speaks into a closed fist, “Don’t make me escort you into the vehicle.”

“I’m not too far now, I can just walk it—“

Eddie throws his head back at your stubbornness and let’s out a bellowing groan, one that makes your nervous stomach do a somersault.

In one swift motion and without a second thought Eddie unclips his seatbelt and prances over toward you. Promptly, he shrugs his heavyweight battle jacket from his shoulders and arms and hooks it over you. The warmth of his body heat feels like gentle kisses ghosted along your goosebump covered skin.

You remain there for a long moment, second guessing reality as your eyes take in the bare skin of Eddie’s now exposed arms. Thoughtfully placed charcoal ink blinks back at you. Engulfing you as your vision flickers from one tattoo to the next. You couldn’t help but wonder the story behind each one— Did he choose them himself? When did he first get one? How badly did it hurt?

Questions that had to remain unanswered for now. Growing more and more thunderous by the second you couldn’t help but grin at the sight of Eddie’s hair now drizzled with cobwebs of water droplets.

It was Eddie’s turn to get near drowned by the rain.

“Jesus H. Christ, just get in the van.” You pause for a moment, your eyes scanning the road for oncoming cars from left to right before you eventually decide to cross over with him, circling around the bonnet of the van and finally deciding to clamber inside— your legs were chilled to the bone and numb to the touch.

Slippery hands quickly palm at the excess water on your face, pawing as much of it away as you possibly could. Your arrival into the passenger seat is welcomed with warm condensation steaming up on the front windscreen, the fog slowly fading as the minutes passed.

“You okay?” His tone is prying but soft. Eddie is speedy to take to the road, swerving the van in a violent U-turn, but not before checking to see if you are buckled in first, “Warm enough in here?”

It’s dizzying to watch his silver adorned fingers toy and twist frantically at the ventilation dials. He always seemed to be bouncing off of the walls with energy.

“M’ okay, Eddie. Thank you.”

You couldn’t look at him. Couldn’t bare the thought of him seeing through you— of him seeing into who you are and what you’ve done. Even now, with guilt caving in your chest, your mind was still fizzing away with erotic scenarios.

His swole biceps and the dark grey band t-shirt cuff clinging around the plump skin. The same t-shirt ever so slightly cropped, just enough for you to have caught glance of his happy trail of hair skipping down toward his—

Rue. Wretched rue.

In your peripheral you could see his fluffy bangs bouncing with every glance at you he decided to steal. He was trying to work you out, but he couldn’t. Not really.

Not yet.

“Hey, so uh, where am I going, exactly?” You knew he was beaming, you could hear it in the small laugh he offered you. He partly laughed to ease the growing tension but also because he was driving off without a destination. He didn’t want you to freak out and think he was trying to kidnap you.

The way your face warmed was nothing but dishonourable. How could you be so easily flustered?

And were you really about to give this man your home address?

“It’s uhm… it’s just a couple minutes up this road and then to the right.” Eyes are trained on the barely visible road ahead, struggling to see through the moggy and dirty window. Nonetheless, you stayed poised with precision.

“M’ kay, well uh, you just direct me.” Wary of your current state, Eddie took recognition at your avoidance of him. Allowing his normally teasing exterior to soften just so, “How long had you been out there?” He longed for you to look at him, even just for a second, only so he knew that you were okay.

Dampness invades your nostrils and you grimace slightly at the faint stench of marijuana that hits your senses.

“Only like, 20 minutes. I think.”

“20 minut—“ He clicks his tongue in disapproval, “Oh you are definitely gonna catch something. Is it straight ahead orrrr?” Distracted by you he must’ve missed the right hand turn toward your house.

“Oh, shoot! Sorry, it was back there,” You glance in the wing mirror and look back over your shoulder, “Take the next right up here, that should help us out.”

God, could you get any more precious?

“Shoot? Really?” He physically couldn’t help himself, “What’re you, five? Just say the word shit.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Amuse me,” He grins widely and his attempts at riling you earned him a prolonged look of defiance, “I’m not gonna tell anyone, promise.” He takes a hand from the wheel and crosses his heart with his pointer finger.

“Profanity is unkind and makes you appear brutish.”

The words of your father cartwheel through your mind and spill out into reality.

“Swearing is fun and harmless! Especially when it isn’t directed at someone in particular. Try it.“

Another push.

“Hey, isn’t this Nancy Wheelers street—”

“I’ve cursed before, Eddie, I’m not some otherworldly being. You obviously just don’t know me. Take the next left.” Your words began to sour your mouth and your thoughts weren’t much help.

Did he see you like that? Like all of the rest?

Were you alien, even to him?

It was strange because out of everyone in Hawkins, you had foolishly thought that if anyone could even remotely come close to how you felt amongst your peers, it would’ve been him.

Eddie.

That Munson Boy.

“Woooah, I didn’t mean to upset you or tick you off, Angel, I was just jokin—“ Each word was a punch to the gut.

“Stop here.” You demand, your house now in eye shot at the end of the sleepy terrace. Eager to please, Eddie stalls the van gently and begins to search your body language for a sign of a lasting temper.

A small awkward cough fills the space as Eddie clears his throat in a discreet but non-discreet manner, “Well… you can keep the jacket until I see you next—“

Water burnt cheeks and deadpan eyes meet his doe like expression, “You didn’t tick me off, Eddie, don’t be ridiculous,” The ball was now in your court to give him a taste of his own vile medicine, “You pissed me off. Now, thank you for the ride but stay the Hell away from me.”

You barrel from the van in a hurry, fleeing as fast as your legs could manage: like a criminal from a crime scene. Too hastily to the point that your panicked brain didn’t clock that you were still draped in Eddie’s clothes until you slammed the patio door behind you and were met with a scent that didn’t quite belong in your home.

Which then lead to the realisation that you also left your small bag of groceries in his front seat.

“Shit.” A palm drags down your face and your voice is broken and small as you lean back against the door, closing your eyes as you welcome the dry caress of the vacant house.

Muscles still for a moment, tensing as you contemplate bringing the thick material of the jacket up to your nose for a sniff. Without seeing the harm in it you decide to follow through on the thought. Inhaling the scent of the brunette deeply and moaning gently on the exhale.

The idea that followed was lightening sharp and just as quick.

“No.”

You hush yourself, not allowing your brain to wander and get lost in that part of you. The throbbing and aching part of you that willed your fingers between you thighs whilst your nose nuzzled worn fabric and your teeth gnawed on the denim collar of Eddie’s jacket.

You couldn’t allow it.

Not tonight.

-

That rug, that stupid old filthy rug had seen more dancing shoes than a ballroom tonight. It was where they all squealed and grooved, everyone with everyone, the music escaping from every open window and door.

Once the colour of cherries, now it told a trodden tale of love and laughter, of more good times than anyone is ever promised in life. Your father could have replaced it years ago, brought in another just like it, but instead you hauled it over to the river in good weather at least once a year and washed it as best you could. Sometimes the earthy red tones would return, other times not so much.

Wooden flooring vibrates underfoot with each sound wave that pulses from your borrowed speakers. It causes a known feeling to erupt inside of your chest— only this time you weren’t sure if it were the familiar hug of anxiety or the red hot spike of adrenaline.

“Please mind the—” Neon and artificially coloured fruit punch, which had been indefinitely spiked with booze, is comically spilled onto the sofa in that moment, “Furniture.” Only now do you wonder whether you’re playing a losing game. Everyone was beyond wasted and your voice couldn’t rise loud above the thumping base to be heard. Tonight’s occasion only expected to entice a few attendees, maybe enough for a book club, but not enough to fill a barn house rodeo.

Safe to say, things had spiralled far out of your control and you weren’t sure you could rein it in.

Bottles clanked in the kitchen and the penetrable sound of porcelain breaking hits your ears and makes you jump in your skin. Regret sinks deeper and deeper into your weary bones and your head spins with the laughter surrounding you.

You recognise the remnants on the floor to be the mug you painted in pre-school. Bright with pastel pinks and fluorescent greens. It was your father’s favourite. You never knew why but it was the one he always reached for. The one he smiled into each morning.

A frog like lump forms in the base of your throat, luring tears to your eyes as you think of the devastation that’ll be brought to your father when he realises it’s gone. One of his prized possessions. A childhood relic which he loved.

Which you loved.

“Oh my god, Ronnie!! You’re soooooo funny!” Jessica Rogers squeaks, the red head who you knew as the new face of the cheerleading squad, as she fawns over Ronnie Mitchell. Hawkins’s very own Johnny Depp.

Ronnie, very evidently being the culprit of the smashed glass, grins like a hyhena about to snatch its prey and within moments his thin lips are trying to eat up Jessica’s entire face.

Bravely but teary eyed you decide to enter the crowded designated lions den which was the kitchen. Swallowing harshly to allow yourself to speak.

“Hi, sorry, can we please be a bit more careful—“

“Heyyy, Harrington!! Where’s Nancy at?” A huge body breeded for American football shoulder barges by you, whacking you into the nearest wall with such force you’re sure the plaster board had splintered. The saddest thing about it was that the event went totally unnoticed by the surrounding part goers and your body smacking against the wall sounded so faint against the drums blaring in your ears.

Composing yourself proved difficult with the group of four other bodies trying to enter and exit through the small entry way to the kitchen. They pushed you flush against the rustic orange wall and only in a great deal of struggle and panic are you able to get away, struggling to regain your balance and breathe clearly. Human functions that should come easily.

Each breath stuttered in through your nose and staggered back out through your mouth, drying your throat until it felt raw and sore. In your mind you were still there, suffocating beneath the stampede of bodies.

They didn’t see you. They didn’t care.

You were nobody to them. They didn’t even know this was your house. Your family home.

And they were disrespecting it. Ruining what you, your father and your gorgeous mother had worked so hard to build.

They didn’t care. They couldn’t see you.

They refused to.

Your heart thundered at an alarming pace, like the hooves of racing horses pounding into the ground. Shaking nimble fingers clutch at your tightening chest, a last resort to soothe yourself. You had to calm down or you were sure to fall apart.

In front of all these people.

You couldn’t.

With agility you take the stairs two at a time, the soles of your shoes snagging against the trampled carpet and causing you to near collapse as you reach the top. Your breathing heaves your chest up and down harshly as you fall into your bedroom like a bat out of Hell searching for silence. You didn’t find it.

Cold wood meets your sweat sheened forehead as you press yourself to your bedroom door. Both of your hands lay splayed against the doorframe, supporting your trembling body as you fight to stay upright.

“What’s the point…” A blabbered and wet whisper slips, begging a flood of tears to your reddened eyes. Beneath you your knees weaken and in a painless motion you crumple to the floor like a piece of paper.

The thing about crumpled paper is that you can try and fix it all you want. Iron it, smooth it out, speak nice to it— in the end there’ll still be creases. The pain will remain.

Your shoulders shake as you swallow a despaired whimper, your knuckles wiping furiously at your runny nose.

You adjust yourself slowly to position your back against the door, and instead of solitude you found something unexpected lurking around in your sacred space as your eyes find the back of a familiar brunettes head. His hair is different tonight, it’s pulled back into a low ponytail. Neater.

“Eddie?!” Your voice betrays you and cracks on the verge of tears but also sings with alarm at the sight of him.

“Hey, are you okay?” He is slow to move toward you.

“What are you doing in here? This is my room—”

“Uhh looking for my jacket which you seem to be holding hostage? Where is it by the way—”

“No.” Your tone was totally saturated with disbelief.

“Yes?” Above all else, Eddie was confused at your anger but deeply wounded at the tear streaks on you face.

“I don’t believe you. Get out.”

“Okay, fine. Don’t believe me, hot mouth. Just hand me my jacket and I’ll be on my merry little way. Took hours to make it, y’know.” He beams at you, hoping to see a smile return to your face. His hands find the front pockets of his dark indigo jeans and his shoulders rise boyishly toward his ears, “Unless… you have something else to confess before I leave?” Tamed eyebrows wiggle at you and your first guttural reaction is to scream at him.

“I don’t. I don’t have anything to say to you right now. Just leave me alone, please.”

Bloated silence.

“I’m not upset,” Your softened exterior beseeched him to remain where he stood, “I’m just— They’re just breaking so much stuff down there. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to take it out on you. You haven’t done anything wrong.”

“S’alright…” He sincerely meant it, “I have to say, I was surprised to hear that you were the one throwing the rager. Not like ya.”

You shake your head in distaste, “You don’t know me. Not really.”

“I want to…” A shrill inhale of breath. A pause so feverish it left your skin itching, “So uh, what’s going on down there?”

In defeat you perch on the edge of your beautifully made bed. Sacrificing the taunt sheets and crinkling it with your body weight

“Well, after the fourth broken glass I sort of lost count of everything else they’ve ruined. My dad’s favourite coffee mug, too…” An agonised and breathy laugh leaves your lips, “I sort of feel like that mug right now.”

“What? Broken?” Eddie’s legs twitch toward the bed, his heart wanting to sit next to you but his brain fighting against the urge.

“No. Not broken,” Your lips quirk up at the corners and your hands toy with one another in your skirt scrunched lap, “Just… changed.”

“Change is good. Change is better than broken.” His reply is as speedy as light and he uses it as courage to propel himself forward to perch next to you on the mattress.

You allow his presence. Actually, you welcome it with open arms and a shy smile.

“If you need someone to talk to about anything then you can count on me. Both of my ears are in pretty good shape. Can hear all sorts with these puppies.” His wrists flick by both sides of his head causing his hair to be blown back and forth.

It prompts a real laugh from you. Something honest.

Something true.

“Thank you, Eddie. That’s real sweet of you.”

Despite the high energy radiating from outwith the safety of your four bedroom walls, it failed to seep on through infect the pair of you. Life in this moment with Eddie felt easy, slow and you were in no hurry to change scenery.

With the door closed every pretence falls. The facade you show the world melts away and all you want is to exist with one another. In those tranquil seconds something unspoken shifts.

In the lamplight you discover more of Eddie than you’ve ever been gaul enough to before. Unafraid to meet his gaze as your eyes study his features. Honey eyes appear black, like bullet holes through his skull, encapsulating the light instead of reflecting it. Across the strong bridge of his nose you admire the faint freckles painted there, ever so tenderly kissed by the suns rays. Your next observation is one you hadn’t expected to affect you so much— his pillowy blood flushed lips.

Eddie knew what you were thinking. He could see it splayed all over your face like an open book. Your parted lips, your lidded eyes with pupils the size of a coin and the small scrunch in between the middle of your brows. It amused him more because he knew that you probably thought you were hiding it all so well. You wanted him. You fucking needed him. Who was he to deny his sweet angel of that?

“Has anyone ever told you how pretty you are?” Praise. Something you craved with such greed. Something your heart beat inside of your chest for.

On instinct, you shake your head, “What? No…”

“I’m serious,” Tactical fingers stroke against the heated curve of your cheek, soft in your hair as he tucks a strand behind your ear, “So fuckin’ pretty.”

You watch round eyed and entranced as his two front teeth puncture his bottom lip— blissfully unaware of the way the pad of his thumb stroked against your own mouth.

Eddie couldn’t tear his eyes away from you. You had bewitched him, body and soul— or something like that.

“Been wanting this for so long…” His voice trails off, almost like he had accidentally spoken a private thought aloud, “The closer I am to you the more perfect you are.”

His deep voice purrs softly, lulling you to close the waning distance between you both. Your remain still, though, afraid you’ll ruin the moment.

“I’ve… I’ve never done this before.” The one thing you’ve wanted to confess for so long, “I don’t think I’m any good at it.”

You knew the ins and outs of sex, of course you did, you just hadn’t partook. Never provided the opportunity. Until now. Until Eddie.

You weren’t even sure that he wanted you in such a way— but what you knew was that you wanted it to be him.

He was the one to have you. He was the one to make it all better.

“How about I kiss you and we can go from there, sweet girl?” A slow and sure nod of approval from you is all Eddie needs to cross the forbidden line. Eyelids flutter closed as you prepare yourself mentally for whatever may happen next. This was your first time for most things: your first party, your first kiss and your first.. sexual encounter.

Above all else it was exciting but also quite terrifying.

You didn’t want it to hurt.

Expectant for Eddie’s lips to meet your own it pleasantly surprised you when his mouth ghosted over one of your eyelids, and then the other, teasing kisses over the entirety of your face. Everywhere but your mouth and it is sweet enough to give you toothache.

For as long as Eddie had wanted to see you this way, he also yearned to have you be his. To shower you in endless love and heartfelt affection. To provide you with the tenderness you so desperately deserved. He wanted to take care of you. In more ways than one.

“Eddie—“ you whine breathless and impatient but smiling all the same.

“Shhh… just keep those eyes closed, Baby. Good things come to good girls who know how to wait,” The small quirk in your expression had Eddie’s mind reeling with sinful ideas, “Are you a good girl, hmm? You wanna be my good girl?” His forked tongue kitten licks at the lobe of your ear and is accompanied by a shiver drilling down your spine.

Your hips shift against the bed, Eddie’s warm breath across your cheek spreads along the surface of your skin like a wild fire through dry brush, melting your loins as you struggle to hold on to any sort of rational thinking. Your grasp inexorably slipping.

When he finally leaned in you knew what was coming and shyly turned away, but his hand reached under your hair below your ear and turned you gently back to him, his thumb caressing your cheek. Lips parted and your heart fluttered as he guided you to his sensuous mouth and your breaths mingled in a way that felt fated. For a season tongues wrestled, fanning a minuscule smoldering ember into a ferocious flame.

Beneath the hem of your skirt Eddie’s thumb prowled the skin, leaving behind tedious circles of electricity. Trailing down, his fingertips tenderly traced the valley between your knees and upon reflex you press your thighs together. He grinned against you, pleased at the effect he had over your untarnished and perfectly responsive body.

Eddie is first to pull away from the heated entanglement, leaving the pair of you panting and searching desperately for breath. For a long moment Eddie examined your expression for any signs of second thoughts and panic but he found nothing but reddened cheeks and starving lips.

“Now, if anything happens that you don’t like just say the word and it’ll all stop, ‘kay? Gotta communicate with me.” His tone is suddenly serious and you meekly peek up at him through your eyelashes.

“Okay.” You whisper, the first you’ve spoken in minutes. He smiles, pleased with you.

“Climb on the bed for me.” Eddie scoots away from you, watching like a predator to prey at your uncertainty as you find a comfortable position on the bed.

“Like this?” You ask in innocence, searching for reassurance.

Eddie grumbles in approval, his voice deepening at the sight, “Mhm, just like that, Sweetheart. Doin’ so well.”

His body feels like liquid as he stands at the base of the bed, towering over you, “Part your legs, nice and slow,” You start, leaving them barely ajar as a self consciousness swarms your mind, “Further, Honey. I gotta see what I’m dealing with.”

Oh and what a sight it was. Powder blue panties plastered to the swell of your mound. Slickness meeting your folds solely from his kiss alone. The sight was biblical and dragged a guttural groan from Eddie’s throat, “Fuck, how are you even real?”

He sunk to his knees slowly, careful as to not startle you, his wide eyes remaining fixated on the space between your legs, “Gonna touch you now, Sweetheart. S’that okay?” His dark gaze flickers over you from head to toe, acknowledging the way your hands clutch the sheets looking for a lifeline, “Need you to relax, Baby. Can you do that for me?” His voice trails off and his smirk softens just a bit.

“I’m not gonna bite cha’… unless you ask nicely.” He winks, his tone teasing but not unkind which helps to ease the tension growing in your shoulder blades.

“Sorry, I’m just nervous…” Your voice is hushed as you carefully watch Eddie kneel between your parted thighs, the warm skin of his palms heat your knees as he balances himself above you.

“First rule, you never have to apologise. For anything,” Eddie melts at the way you soften, “And secondly, we don’t have to do this. I’m happy to just lay here with you…”

Sure, would he be disappointed? Yes. He has his dream girl at the mercy of his fingertips. But he wanted this to work— after all, the man saw himself marrying you a month ago.

“I want this,” You were I fingertips away to what you have wanted for weeks— A stern readiness urging you to continue on this steamy pursuit, “I’ll just need some guidance is all.”

A wide and wolffish grin splits Eddie’s face, “I can work with that.”

Resuming his previous position Eddie found a comfortable spot on the mattress between your thighs, his face only just visible behind your scrunched up skirt. A forked tongue darted onto Eddie’s bottom lip, the muscle longing to slip between your moistening folds, “Gonna touch you now, Princess. Remember what we talked about.”

You hum, breathing steadily as you succumb trustingly to Eddie’s touch. Eyelids are slow to close and the palm of your hand blindly finds the smooth and warm skin of Eddie’s forearm. A longing touch you have finally been able to quench.

Propped up on his elbows Eddie is tender as he tickles the insides of your legs, softly peppering the plush skin with lingering kisses which makes you shudder, “Heavenly. Absolutely stunning.” Each compliment is emphasised with a open mouthed kiss and a wet stroke of his tongue.

A string of small whines leaves your mouth in a breathy plead, your hips stirring up from the mattress slightly to try and meet Eddie.

Strong hands pin your hips to the spot, “If you keep moving I won’t be able to give you what you want. What do you want, huh?” His voice doesn’t waver and his grip leaves you, only for the pad of his thumb to stroke a pressured line down the seam of the panties from your clit to your aching hole, “Tell me, Pretty girl. What do you want?”

A gasp is shocked from your throat and you grew more sensitive with each passing second and with that reactivity there came desperation, “Eddie…” Your voice is dripping in sin, sweet and laboured. All air leaves your lungs in total entirety, “Please.”

You weren’t even sure what you were begging for, all you knew was that you didn’t want it to stop. You wanted his touch all over you.

A shiver strikes Eddie’s spine like a match and he buries his nose into your heat, sniffing in your scent like a bloodhound on a trail, “Fuck— I’m gonna take your panties off, kay’? Is that okay?” Truth be told, Eddie was just as needy as you were in this moment. He was eager and willing to do absolutely anything to please you.

“Yes— yes that’s okay.” Shakily you lift your hips to try and rip the fabric down yourself, but Eddie settles you back down gently and helps you to slide them down your legs. You relax again, then sensuality of the action urging all tension to drift from your body.

Slyly he pockets the underwear for later but he soon is left gawking with a slack jaw at the banquet between your thighs which just ached to be devoured by him, “Pussy is so pretty. What a picture…” Spell bound he crawls toward you, his arms linking around your upper thighs and dragging your greedily toward his face, “This may tickle at first, may feel a bit odd—“

His presence alone was enough to send you reeling, “Please, Eddie, I can’t wait any longer—“

He didn’t need to be told twice. He was already salivating to a concerning level.

It’s as if you forget how to breathe when his mouth collides with you—hungry, wet and feverish. Your insides pulse and your muscles tense in the best way. A moan erupts from the pit of your stomach and your eyes pinch closed in ecstasy.

“Oh Honey—“ He cooed, his words muffled by the mouthful he has on his tongue, the vibrations rippling through you like a current of recklesswater.

It took such concentration for you to focus on the way Eddie lapped and nuzzled into your leaking cunt. His hands roamed your body freely and found grace in nipping and squeezing your stiffened nipples beneath your button-up blouse. Your head spun with lewd thoughts and your throat was vocal all on its own. You and no control over it.

Eddie’s lips sucked and consumed you with such shamelessness, each stroke and prod of his stiff tongue to your swollen clit left your mewling like an animal in heat.

“Feels so good, please don’t stop— agh,” Your head is heavy as it presses back into the pillow beneath it, your eyes rolling to the back of your skull as your fingers lace into Eddie’s hair, gently tugging on the strands which elicits a growl from his throat.

Goosebumps arise on your skin, raising every bodily hair to stand on end when you feel the tips of Eddie’s fingers teasing your gushing entrance. You were past the point of communication now— whatever Eddie wanted to do, you were right there with him.

His pursuit is hot on you clit, stimulating you to the point of tears when he eases his middle finger inside of you, inch by inch until he is fully submerged. He pumps his fist gently, stretching you out until you’re ready for a second finger. With your arousal it doesn’t take long at all until you’re nearly ready for a third.

Erotic sounds create a symphony that fills the space, drowning out the chaos happening beneath you, “Such a greedy little pussy hmm, swallowing my fingers to the knuckles.” His digits curl within you which causes your spine to arch slightly, pleasure taking over and burning into your lower abdomen, “I’ve wanted to fuck you for so long— touch myself to you all the time.” His confession sends you to another dimension, one where rational thought just doesn’t exist. You grind against the palm of his hand and when his lips reattach to your clit it sends your spluttering over the edge and plummeting back to earth, your walls clenching around him as your body quivers into the springs below.

“Fuck—“ Your vision is shaky as Eddie plants a kiss to your lips, his tongue forcing its way into your mouth allowing you to taste yourself on him.

“Ready for the main event?” He speaks into your neck where his teeth drag and nibble at the skin, sure to leave bruising along the curve to your shoulder.

That’s when you feel it, his stiff bulge pressing into the soaked skin of your upper thigh. Still high on your first release all you can muster vocally is a soft hum and a eager nod.

“Gotta hear you, Sweetheart. Do you wanna feel me?” The tip of his nose kisses yours and you smile at the sight of his gorgeous brown eyes which appear more amber in the warm hue of the light. More inviting and romantic.

“Yes. I want that.” Another press of wet lips against yours, Eddie’s quirk up at the corners with his hands lovingly stroking your hair.

“S’ all I needed to hear, Baby. We’re gonna take it nice and slow. Got you all warmed up.” His hand sneaks down to cup your mound, his fingers relishing the slickness that they are met with as they pump back inside of you— testing the waters to ensure they’re still warm.

“Can I undress you?” The words are foreign in your mouth, like an unknown entity had possessed your voice box, cloning you and then speaking.

Eddie only grins, his response immediate, “Absolutely, Princess. Up ya get.” Forcefully, but not brutishly, Eddie takes hold of your upper arms and brings you to sit in an upright position, “We can undress each other.”

Excitement burnt Eddie’s chest when your eyes lit up at the idea and he found himself cupping your face in the palms of his hands and kissing you delicately and passionately.

“I’ll go first.” He couldn’t wait a second longer to see you, all of you, bare for him. Your soul exposed to him.

Button by tedious button Eddie’s fingers fight with your blouse in a painstaking battle to undress you. It’s all worth it when he sees your bra. A blush pink colour and a modest but pretty design against your flesh.

“Breathtaking.” He could look at you forever.

Your face heats bashfully under his gaze and your hands are hesitant to reach for him, “My turn…” You mutter, your fingers curling around the hem of his acid washed t-shirt and gently removing it up and over his head which leaves his hair slightly tossed an dishevelled.

You allow the garment to fall to your lap and your hands lay flush against the skin of his chest, revelling in the warmth of him, “You’re beautiful, too, Y’know.” You peek up at him through your eyelashes, smirking at the way Eddie’s cocky face starts to flush.

“Thank you…” Is all he meekly musters, his shoulders softening as he melts into you. The quiet moment brings you closer together, foreheads blissfully meeting as Eddie’s fingers unclasp the hooks of your bra, the elastic straps falling from your shoulders and gliding effortlessly from your frame.

You welcome it and Eddie tries not to stare. He had seen women naked before— but none like you. None as soft and angelic. You belonged in a gallery, displayed with pride next to other great pieces of art.

He hadn’t ever felt this lucky, to see someone as perfect as you up close.

It felt like dream.

Only when you decide to unbuckle his belt is Eddie snapped back to the present, his hands smoothly massaging the plumpness of your thighs as he waits his turn to steal the only article of clothing you have left— your skirt.

“Stand up,” He demands in a voice is so low it could be mistaken as a whisper. Contently you comply, rising to your feet and finding your place stood in front of Eddie’s seated silhouette. Sensually, he begins his pursuit on the zipper of the garment. Carefully as to not snag the fabric as he cranks it down and lets it fall from your waist. Leaving you slightly chilled and totally naked before him.

Instinctively his fingertips trace the curvature from your hips to your waist, soft and inviting as they paw and palm the tender flesh of your breasts.

Promptly Eddie rises to meet you, pulling your body close to his and in one swift motion he is laying you back onto the bed, standing to remove the rest of his pesky clothes.

He massages his cock through the denim of his jeans and moves on to pull them down his legs, kicking them off onto the floor and then doing the same with his underwear— only this time he is menacingly slow. Ensuring he has your full and undivided attention when his throbbing cock springs free from the waistband.

Part of you couldn’t believe what you were really seeing. Eddie Munson, fully stripped and in front of you. His sex in his hand with the tip red and glistening— aching and leaking for you. Your touch. Your thoughts flicker to how he will fit inside of you. The stretch. You yearned for it. Trembled for it.

“Safety first.” He reaches into his pocket to retrieve a red foil packet, tearing the ragged edge with his teeth and taking the condom from inside. Entranced you watch his fingers roll it along his thick length from tip to base and your pulse quickens with excitement.

He stands looming above you, his demeanour darker as he climbs onto the bed and positions himself between your legs. His elbows rest at either side of your head and his eyes bore into yours, “You ready?” His rough thumb strokes across your brow bone and Eddie chuckles softly at your fast nod.

He holds his hand in front of his mouth and spits into it, covering it in saliva.

Reaching down between the both of your bodies he smears his drool all over your pussy, his fingers pushing and pumping inside of you again, “Oh yeah, she’s desperate for me, huh? You want it bad, Baby, don’t cha’?” His dirty words plagued your mind and infected it from the core outwards. Forever changed. Your body writhed and you moaned into the shell of his ear with each thrust of his skilful fingers, and just as he stopped you felt a much larger push at your clenching hole.

Eddie ruts his rampant cock against you, covering himself in slick before he is carefully pushing inside of you, his eyes hooked on your face as he does, “Just the tip, first…” He promises and you nod, breathing shallow as your mind focuses on the intoxicating stretch of your core, “You okay?” He asks, unbeknownst to you he is still pushing inside, inch by inch.

You smile up at him and nod an unspoken ‘yes’, your eyes half lidded and shimmering as you welcome his sinking shaft.

“Fuck, squeezing me so good. Made for me.”

With each frisky word Eddie spoke it had you growing wetter, inviting more of him to plunge into you and back out again. His hips still whilst he is fully submerged, allowing you time to fully adjust to his length and girth before he rocks into you.

You moan when his hips snap back against you, the feeling familiar but intense, “Ya like that? Feel good?” He searches for reassurance.

“Yes.. yes.” You stutter, half moan and half confirmation.

Every kiss has a raw intensity - breathing fast, heart rates faster. Then before you know how it happened you are skin moving softly together, like the finest of silk.

His hand enters from below moving fast to tangle in your hair and your tongues entwined in a sloppy kiss. He changes your breathing with every feral thrust, hearing your moans timed to the muscular movements of his body.

Then all at once he stops and kisses from your breasts to the flesh of your stomach, his hands feather light and ticklish before resuming his previous position. He’s licking and biting and using his fingers all at once. Watching every reaction on your face, feeling how your legs move and stiffen, watching your body writhe.

You release a moan, unable to articulate a response when Eddie whispers sweet nothings into your ear. Praising you. Telling you how he’s going to ruin you. How good of a girl you are for him.

In seconds he’s fucking you harder, pounding you into the mattress just long enough to intoxicate your mind before stopping again. A strategy of his to ensure you’ll get hooked on this drug forevermore— his drug. Him and only his.

“Fuck— so tight, Baby. Think I’m gonna burst.” You could feel his muscles straining on top of you and his cock twitching inside of you. You wondered how it would feel to have him spill inside of you—

“Eddie arggh—“ You claw at his back, your hips bucking up to meet Eddie’s every move. Skin slapping against skin.

You were fucking hooked alright.

Sensations sky rocket and you swear there’s a moment where you are floating outwith the confines of your own body, looking down on the way Eddie humps you like a jackrabbit. The imagery proves to be too much, sending you into total over stimulation and you shake and nearly scream at the pleasure that comes with each deep stroke of Eddie’s cock.

“Gonna cum, Sweetheart if you keep grabbing me like tha—“

“Me too!!“

You squeal, clutching to Eddie’s bicep like your life depended on it, and at its upmost tallest height, you succumb to it all and falter beneath him. A shaking and shivering mess as your ride your comedown along Eddie’s length.

Moments after, Eddie collapses onto you after chasing his own orgasm, smiling like an idiot into the crook of your neck. Your perfume penetrated his brain in a way he could only describe as witch craft and you lovingly paw at his dampened hair.

“So…” you pant, out of breath and slightly delirious, “Where do we go from here?”

Eddie’s strong arms position your naked body to lay flush against his bare and sweat sheeted chest, “Well… how about I start all the official paperwork to take you out on a date?” His fingers comb through you hair, creating a tiredness within you that you hadn’t noticed until now.

A small yawn cuts through the untroubled space and you would have giggled at his remark if you weren’t so sleep stricken, “Mmm, yeah?” Your face nuzzles into the fleshy pillow of his pectoral muscle, “What kind of date?”

The sound of his heart beating against your ear lulls you into a state of unconsciousness. A place between awake and deep slumber.

“Anywhere you want, Sweet girl. Anywhere you want.” Eddie presses kisses to your hair, his vice like grip around you tightening like an anaconda. He refused to let you go.

It was you and him from here on out.

Against all odds.

Always.

-

“Would you like a cup of tea? Maybe some coffee?” Your hands rub together furiously, hoping the friction will heat the delicate surface of your skin. This morning played out like it always did between you and Eddie— you would advert your eyes away from his intense gaze and he would toy with the colour on your cheeks like a puppeteer.

“I’ll take a bottle of Pepsi if there’s one in the fridge? Please.” You couldn’t understand his willingness to drink such icy cold liquid when the mornings were already becoming so chilly. Especially in the garage, the freezing cement of the floor and the bare brick of the walls made heat easily escapable.

“You’re crazy,” Laughing you reach down into the small refrigerator behind your desk, plucking out a glass bottle filled with the sugary brown beverage and handing it to Eddie. He lets out what can only be described as a moan as he eyes the bottle in his hand with such admiration, his strong fingers twisting off the bottle cap with ease.

“Thanks, Cutie.” The metal head winks at you, his words leave his mouth with such charisma and fluidity that it makes your tired head buzz with excitement.

After a moment of ridiculous pause you finally clock back into reality, “That’s a cool party trick,” gesturing toward the bottle in Eddie’s manly hands he offers you a hum, smiling politely at you like he always does, “Doesn’t it hurt your hand?”

“Not really— I bet you could do it, if you tried.” He shrugs, his gigantic hand comes to clasp one of his breasts through the tarnished white fabric of his tank top, something you have recently realised he does a lot out of comfort and you can’t help the twitch of your fingertips as you long for the warmth of his soft inked skin against yours.

“Is there a lot booked in for today?” He leaves the bottle on the worktop, his creased boots scrape against the dusty floor as he inches toward your standing frame confidently. He peers over your shoulder, his strong nose is almost tickling the shell of your ear as he tries to read the schedule you had written up the shift before and your breath becomes trapped in the length of your throat at his close proximity.

Your thoughts are a scrambled mess as your nostrils fill with the brunettes intoxicating scent; subtle laundry detergent that smells like winter and clean linen, a fresh, almost minty, shampoo that radiates from his soft hair as it brushes your cheek and the smallest hint of cigarette smoke.

In your daze you blindly hadn’t acknowledged the fact that Eddie was basically bending you over the front desk. Your elbows were propped on the hard acrylic material, your ass perked up into the air and Eddie’s hulking frame was braced over you from behind, “Uhm…” You scream inwardly at yourself and your inability to form any sort of coherent sentence and thought.

“Uhm?” Eddie mocks, his voice deep and hushed. He lets out a small throaty laugh as his fingers dance over the neatly written page laid on the counter in front of you, “Can’t you read your own handwriting, Love?” Another sweet nickname that causes your legs to weaken.

He taps his fingertip on to the column that reads ‘Monday’ at the top of the grid and you can feel his wide grin against the back of your head, “Plenty of time for fun today.” Eddie purrs like a cat in your ear and your body involuntarily shivers at his breath against your neck.

“I’ll come check up on you in an hour or so, yeah? I think the first customer of the day will be arriving soon and I don’t wanna fuck this up.” It takes Eddie every ounce of self control he has to collar himself and retreat to the back of the garage where he can try and meet his deadline for the day. But in complete honesty, he couldn’t stop thinking about you.

His chocolate button eyes constantly flicking from the internal organs of a car to the swinging door that separates you from him. He wasn’t afraid to admit that he had developed quite a fondness for you— a little crush, perhaps. You were the nicest girl Tucker had ever hired; above qualified and the most beautiful. You might’ve been the prettiest girl he had ever seen. Gorgeous smile, kind eyes and not to mention a smokin’ bod. You always had this incomparable aroma lingering around you— a perfume he had never smelt before. It was addicting. You were addicting.

Two hours had passed now and Eddie was getting restless. He had already repaired what was needed to the engine and the customer was scheduled to be here any second— he just wanted to chat with you again, to make you laugh and see your skin flush with each of his not-so-discreet compliments. He loved spending time with you. You were the reason he looked forward to coming into work each day.

“Hey, Eddie?” Your gentle voice sings through the room as you poke your head through the door into his space and Eddie bounces to his feet a little too eagerly, his hands toying with an old oil covered rag.

“Yeah? You okay?” His body is reacting before his brain can protest and he is springing over to meet you by the door like an excited puppy. A smile grows on his face with every step closer he gets to you and he watches you shift in your shiny heels with anticipation.

“I’m okay!” You confirm, the palm of your hand resting on the large door which allows a gust of fresh hair to meet Eddie’s now dirtied up face, “The customer is here to check out their car— would you like to come and speak with them before they sign anything?”

“Should be all good to go, Princess.” Eddie winks at you and his heart flutters boldly at the sight of your rosy cheeks. He could never get enough of you— he could stare at you forever, “Hey, after this guy leaves… you wanna come and grab some lunch with me? I usually go to this little place down the street. They have pretty decent sandwiches and stuff.” His hands come to find his hair as he ties it up into a low bun and a sly smirk finds his lips as he watches you watching him, “It’ll be my treat?” Clocking your silence he presses you further for an answer and you nod your head like a startled deer, your lips slightly pouted and parted in embarrassment.

“I would like that!” You squeak, your hands fumbling with your white dress shirt as you try to flatten out the new wrinkles, “So… I’ll go and ring this guy up. And… and I’ll meet you out front?” You gulp loudly, wincing at the sheer volume of it and Eddie grins at you evidently amused.

“Sounds great. Just gotta scrub my hands and I’ll see you out there, Pretty girl.”

Eddie watches as you disappear from his view, he even strains his neck to try and catch a final glimpse of your ass as he desperately fights to calm his raging heart.

He feels all giddy on the inside. Soft and gooey like a chocolate brownie; only you have been able to make him feel that way. Eddie had a few notches in his belt, he slept his way through high school with chicks who kept him a secret but you… you knew you would flaunt him like he was a rare jewel. The last 7 months of your employment made you realise how drawn you were to the metal head. Eddie was precious to you.

And today… today you were going to tell him.

-

You skip alongside Eddie, your heels dragging along the pavement. You always wanted to look presentable and professional for the business, but these heels were killing your feet.

“You alright there, Love?” Eddie chuckles, his eyes flicking between your arched feet and your pain stricken face.

“Hmm? Oh! Yeah— I’m fine! These shoes are just kicking my ass.” You stop for a moment, sighing a quick breath of relief as the pressure eases from your feet and Eddie comes to stand in front of you. His lips curve upward into a grin and his eyes glitch with mischief.

“I can carry you? And you can take the shoes off?” You watch the muscles in his arms flex as he crosses them over his meaty chest and your jaw loosens on its hinges for a moment.

He wanted to carry you?

“Don’t be silly! I can muscle through this! Women have been doing this for centuries.” You snort a laugh, attempting to walk by his massive physique but Eddie’s large hand takes a hold of yours and in one swift and fluid like motion he is carrying you in his arms toward the small sandwich shop that is just out of view at the end of the street.

“Eddie!” You squeal, half laughing and half horrified. Your cheeks are set alight as your arms instinctively wrap around his neck tightly, clutching onto him for dear life out of fear of falling.

“Relax, I’m not gonna drop you.” You had never been this close to him before. You could see every freckle on his nose, every stroke of black oil and grease on his cheeks, every sprinkle and burst of light amber in his usually abysmal black eyes. The thickness of his eyelashes and his eyebrows and the pink plumpness of his lips.

You could study him for hours. You could hang a portrait of him in an art gallery— and yet it would pale in comparison to the true thing. Eddie Munson was crafted carefully by Aphrodite herself. He was utter perfection. And you wanted to kiss him so bad.

“Like what you see, Princess?” He smirks at you devilishly, his dark hues shift every few seconds between your gawking expression and the footpath ahead.

“What if I did?” Bold. Even for you, and it was amusing to watch Eddie’s confident mask fumble.

“Then I would have to agree that I also like what I see…” He stops walking, his eyes solely focused on you now and you shift under his gaze— wiggling in Eddie’s buff arms.

“You do?” You can’t help that his confession catches you off guard. You knew Eddie enjoyed your presence, it was evident in the way he would always make excuses to come through to the front and talk to you. Eddie never usually had cause to be at the front desk unless it was to hand a customer their car keys back— but he always found a way to weasel his way through.

‘Have you got a pen I can borrow?’ There was always one tucked behind his ear.

‘Did I leave any tools through here? I’m missing my screwdriver…’ He had plenty to spare.

‘Do you need any help with anything?’ He was hopeless when it came to schedules.

‘Hey, is there any cold ones in the fridge today?’ He knew there was.

‘You got the time, Sweet girl?’ He wore a watch of his own.

He knew how to make you smile and he did it continuously every single day with his perky can-do attitude and his admirable personality. Eddie Munson checked all of your boyfriend boxes. He’s good with his hands, not afraid to get down and dirty, he is scarily strong and stupidly handsome. If it weren’t deemed inappropriate you would worship the ground his work boots walked on.

“Don’t act so surprised— I haven’t been so discreet with what I think of you, Sweetheart.” He was right, but you also couldn’t fully believe him. Eddie Munson thought you were attractive? It made you wanna laugh.

“Y’know… I’m not feeling too hungry anymore,” There’s a glint of desire that shimmers in Eddie’s dark eyes and you match his lustful enthusiasm, “What’d ya say we head back? I wanna… show you something…”

And by ‘show you something’ he meant that he wanted you to see the back of your skull as your eyes roll from the feeling of him pumping inside of you.

“Let’s go… let’s go now!” You don’t care how desperate you sound as Eddie turns on his heels and flees back toward Tucker’s. You are a giggling mess in Eddie’s arms and he chuckles warmly alongside you. You both have at least 10 minutes left of your lunch break as you burst back into the office and the next customer is due soon so this will have to be somewhat quick…

-

You wish you could pinch yourself to ensure you weren’t dreaming but your hands were too busy snaking through the thick fluffy curls of Eddie’s hair. It doesn’t take much effort for his wet tongue to dominate yours in a passionate and needy kiss.

His strong fingertips grip the soft flesh of your hips and his hands are like a powerful vice as he clings to you hungrily, “Can I touch you?” He asks between laboured breaths and you nod with a sweet hum. You can feel the swell of his cock pressing against you and you couldn’t think of anything you want more than to have his hands roaming your body.

“Fuck— you’re so fucking beautiful.” His thumb traces the line of your jaw, settling on your chin where he demands that your eyes meet his, “Wanna fuck you so bad, but I don’t think we have time today, Sweet girl.”

You pout out your bottom lip and Eddie chuckles darkly at the sight, “Think my fingers will do, hmm?” He cocks a brow, his rough finger tips dance up the length of your inner thigh before he is clasping his hand over the mound of your underwear. He sucks in a deep breath at the contact, struggling to control the raging storm of his hormones, “I’ve wanted this for so long, you have no idea.”

“Me too.” You gasp as Eddie’s fingers start rubbing tedious and teasing circles over your clothed clit, eliciting soft breathy moans from you.

“You’re gorgeous and your moans are pretty too— how lucky can a guy get?” You whine and swirl your hips down to meet Eddie’s movements, your body craving more of his touch and the filthy man doesn’t hesitate to slip his fingers past the lace of your panties.

Warm skin touching skin has your mind reeling with sin, “Getting impatient?” Eddie clicks his tongue, his free hand coming to curl around your neck. You welcome the action and your vision shifts as Eddie’s touch tightens on either side of your throat, “Tell me how good it feels, Baby.”

He punctuates his words by thrusting two of his long slender fingers inside of your aching slick hole and you release a dampened moan as your eyes flutter closed in ecstasy.

“Feels so good…” Your voice is a quiet whimper and Eddie shakes his head disapprovingly, his fingers curling inside of you and thrusting quicker and harder.

“Couldn’t hear you, Love…” His lips pepper kisses along your face until his mouth rests at the curve of your ear, “Speak up, Pretty girl.”

You feel as though you could cry at how good the tattooed brunette was making you feel. You hadn’t experienced anything quite like it before; all of this praise, the choking and the dominance. It felt good to let everything go— to give yourself to him.

“So good, Eddie! Feels so so good!” You’re a babbling, moaning mess beneath Eddie’s touch but you are beyond the point of caring as your euphoric release rushes toward you. Each skilled pump of Eddie’s decorated fingers leaves your walls clenching and your thighs quivering beneath you.

A wolfish growl rumbles deep within Eddie’s throat and he forces his knee between your thighs, leveraging you upright and keeping your back pressed against the brick wall.

“Gonna cum for me, Angel? Gonna cum around my fingers?” His pace quickens, if that were even possible and your eyes roll to the back of your head as your front teeth pierce your bottom lip, gnawing and nibbling at the plump skin like a desperate bunny.

You nod your head, but Eddie isn’t having any of it, “Words!” His fingers grab your face roughly and you open your lips in a pant, moaning greedily.

“Yes! Yes, I’m gonna cum! Please— fuck!” His chocolate eyes look fiercely into yours, dark and domineering; controlling.

Your orgasm shakes your body from the top to the bottom and you let out a noise that can only be described as a erotic scream and in a fit of slight panic Eddie pushes his hand flush against your mouth as you continue to ride out your high on his fingers.

“Shhh… gonna get us caught.” He offers you an egotistic toothy grin and your chest rises and falls with every intense breath you take in through your nose.

Eddie’s eyes flicker to the watch on his wrist, his eyebrows knitting in thought, “Looks like our lunch break is over…” He removes his hand slowly from your reddened and slightly swollen mouth, “Maybe we can continue this later…” a smirk never wavering from his face as he says, “Same time tomorrow, Princess?”

-

If there was a scale to measure aesthetics and lifestyle, you and Eddie would be sitting at opposite ends of that scale.

Your life consisted of pale pastels, pinks and lace. You preferred to stay home on the weekends and be in bed by 9:00pm over going out with friends and there was always some messy assortment of makeup and perfumes scattered over your bedroom cabinets. An insight into what you loved most. Your life was calm. Quiet. An organised mess.

Something Eddie didn’t quite understand.

Eddie tried his best to accommodate to your daily needs, washing the dishes and folding his laundry when you asked. But as soon as his tattered boot stepped one foot into his bedroom it was as if all rules were void and suggestive. It was like his room wasn’t part of the same apartment as yours.

“So, I can do whatever I want with my room?” He asked timidly on that first day.

“Of course, it’s your room, Eddie. Go nuts.” You replied with a sweet and supportive smile.

“Sweet!” Smirking, he bounced down the hallway to immediately start taking measurements. Let the carnage begin.

When Eddie moved in, he made it his top priority to decorate his bedroom the way he wanted. After all, a bedroom is a sanctuary— a safe Haven and he had the burnt rose interior paint at the ready. He really tried his best to be neat, but in reality it looked like he had slapped it all over the walls surrounding his double bed which was held up by a dark brown wooden frame as promptly as he possibly could. And after all of that painting, what did he do?

He hung up posters, covering every inch of surface area. Posters of each and every Rockstar you could imagine; some you could recognise, others not so much. You liked to compare Eddie’s room to that of a vampire as there were so many similarities you contemplated on if he were actually a skin walker. It was so dark in his bedroom— it filled you with dread to even think about having to sleep in a place like that.

You and Nancy would often joke and giggle harmlessly about Eddie’s taste in style. He was edgy, and you respected that about him, but he was just so different to you in multiple varying ways.

It was like equating a bat to a dove. You just couldn’t.

-

“How did this even happen?” Nancy would snort to herself, throwing another kernel of buttered popcorn up into the air and catching it in her mouth. Crunching away as you sip on your warm beverage.

You couldn’t tell her the real reason— how could you? She would take what you say and run with it, right into the den of wolves.

You shrug, “He has a job and Steve vouched for him…” Lies. Steve didn’t vouch for him. The truth was, you hadn’t even offered the room to anyone else. Eddie was the first person you contacted and of course, he agreed all too eagerly and quickly.

You had a type. A taste in men that your friends, especially Nancy, would question. You weren’t into those brain dead soccer zombies who walked around with their dicks in their hands and a thumb up their ass.

You liked chains and tattoos. Dark hair and baggy tee’s. Leather and metal rings.

Essentially; you liked Eddie.

You really fucking liked him.

At first, it was all just lust at first glance. He looked good, so good that you had to invite him to come and apartment share with you.

From an outside perspective, this all would look a tad creepy and obsessive. Like a huge game you had created to try and wrangle Eddie into liking you back.

But luckily for you, you didn’t have to do much to secure that attention from him. You just had to wag the bone, and little puppy Eddie came running.

“So, how long do you think this’ll last? Surely you’re sick of him, right?” Nancy’s hot pink manicured nail twirls circles in the ringlets of her hair and you have to admit, the only thing you were sick of, was this conversation.

Every time she came over she always had to bring up Eddie— and sure, it didn’t help when he would walk into the living room shirtless and still damp from his shower. But that wasn’t the point.

“Look, Nance. Eddie is sweet, he keeps himself to himself and he is always quick to help me. He’s a good roomie for the most part. I’m just terrified of what lurks behind that bedroom door.”

Nancy bursts into chaotic laughter and you ignore the pang of guilt in your chest as your lips tightly smile at her. It’s one thing to tease with good faith, but blatant mocking is something that doesn’t sit in your chest quite right.

“Right?!” Her hand cups your bare shoulder, her skin burning into yours like hot steel, “He’s probably hiding bodies in there— for his satanic rituals.”

And at that exact moment, Eddie entered into the living room. His eyes as sharp as a bloodhound as they find Nancy’s face. She is all too quick to shut down her laughter, her lips morphing down into a frown and you advert your gaze in shame.

“I’ll be back late tonight, don’t wait up.” His deep voice was hoarse from the joint he had been smoking at his bedroom window and the smell of weed followed him right up until he left through the front door. He was going to do a deal, you knew it.

Nancy left soon after Eddie just as you expressed how tired you had became. She got flustered and fled like a restless animal.

And you? Well. You waited up for Eddie. Eager to apologise and explain yourself.

Upon awaiting his arrival back home, you busied yourself with some chores— however, those chores had somehow led you to stand in front of Eddie’s bedroom door. Your captivating curiosity outweighing every ounce of logic you had. This was an invasion of privacy… but you wanted to know.

You wanted to know Eddie fully.

And so… you went inside.

-

You stood there in the exact same position and in the exact same spot for way longer than you had initially intended to— your legs could have been mistaken as numb. Eddie had never told you outright that he was dealing drugs, but you weren’t an idiot. You knew. But here you were, standing with your mouth agape at the drawer full of marijuana. You hadn’t even opened the furniture, Eddie had left it open. All of that jail time was just on display for anyone to find.

And when Eddie found you ‘rummaging’ through his space it was evident that he was shocked beyond belief and also livid with you-

“What the fuck are you doing?” He is quick to stomp toward your standing frame and you stumble backwards away from him; caught off guard by his sudden appearance. You hadn’t even heard him come home. Clearly lost in a daze of horrid realisation.

“It isn’t what it looks like.” You promise, your voice quivering and pleading. Eddie had every right to be angry with you, and if you had come home to him in your bedroom then you would feel the exact same as him, but just because it looked bad didn’t mean that it was. You weren’t snooping… you were just… browsing.

He huffs a laugh, his patience thinning, “Oh, really? Then what does it look like? Because to me it looks like you were going through my things.” He takes a frustrated hand through his fluffy hair, tugging on the delicate roots at the crown of his head, “I can’t even think straight— please get away from me.” He takes a wise step back.

You remained where you were. Anchored to the place.

“You’re dealing drugs—“ An adult conversation wasn’t an option.

“Get the fuck out!!” His sharp and shrill voice stabbed at your chest, causing your heart to leap involuntarily and your stomach to drop. You had never seen Eddie so mad— he was always so timid. So soft spoken and kind.

And as your eyes met his fierce gaze you knew you had really crossed a line.

“I’m sorry, Eddie…” Your voice is a weak and pathetic attempt at a whisper as you scamper past him like a fearful mouse and right across the hallway to your own bedroom where you close the door quickly and rest your body back against the wooden surface.

He just needs time to cool off, you tell yourself. He can’t despise you forever.

But the thing you underestimated about Eddie Munson was his ability to hold a grudge for as long as he saw fit…

For the time he remained angry with you, he remained avoidant and stern. Cold and unforgiving. It was as if you were living with a man sized block of ice.

And as the weeks pressed on, you thought this act of his was an overreaction and down right childish.

Enough was enough…

Out of spite he used your shampoo, he ate your left overs and whenever you would try and talk to him about it he would walk out of the room and pretend you didn’t exist.

You couldn’t take it, he as driving you insane.

-

The frustrating crunch of honey flavoured Cheerio’s filled the never ending silence and you felt your internal clock ticking to a staggering stop. Your patience worn so thin that it was basically transparent. You had to confront him. Or you were sure to explode.

“We need to talk.” You stated clearly as you marched toward the breakfast bar that separated the kitchen from the living room— almost as if you were a lawyer approaching the bench in a courtroom to plead your case.

Eddie’s eyes rolled with a flutter of his eyelids and it pumped your heart full of fire and gunpowder.

“Great, you’ve managed to ruin breakfast.” He stands from the stool he was perched on with a dramatic flare as he lets the metal feet scrape against the tiled floor, “Talk all you want. I can’t guarantee I’ll listen.” Eddie’s voice is groggy with sleep and you despise that it nearly makes you smile.

He drops his cereal bowl into the kitchen sink with a clatter and you feel a pang of nervousness prick at your chest.

“Here’s the deal,” You fight to find his eyes and he fights just as hard to avoid looking at you, “You’re dealing drugs.” You state rather matter of factly, “And unless you start behaving like a civil adult then.. then I’ll have no other choice but to go to the cops.”

You wouldn’t dare be caught snitching, but it did manage to grab Eddie’s undivided attention.

“Seriously?” His nostrils flared in annoyance and you crossed you arms firmly across your chest. You weren’t a participant in the drama club at school but you managed to lie convincingly when you had to.

“Yes. So either grow up or suck it up because you’ll be facing a sentence of what? Five to ten? And you already know that this town has opinions on you so the jury will probably be harsh…” You shrug your shoulders slightly, remaining calm and collected.

Eddie seems to begin panicking…

“Jesus! What do you want from me? It’s 9 in the goddamn morning!” You bite back a chuckle at his random outburst of energy and it only causes Eddie to become more cross.

“I don’t want to argue with you either but you have left me no choice! Why can’t you just talk to me like a normal human being? I’m sorry I was in your room, okay?” You follow Eddie to the bathroom, only to have the door slammed in your face, “What are you doing?” You groan loudly, already fed up.

“I’m doing a piss, what do you think I’m doing? Leave me alone for a minute.”

Internally, you deflate. You had gone into this confrontation with such gall, such fire and bravery and now… now you wish you had just left for work instead.

“Eddie, are you finished?” You asked after some time with your ear pressed against the door.

No response.

“Eddie?” You repeat, your voice shifting with worry this time.

No response.

On a whim you open the door, only to find the bathroom empty and the window blown open with the Spring breeze.

That son of a bitch—

To avoid you Eddie had scaled out of the bathroom window and down the fire escape taking off into the early morning dew.

At first you were enraged, hurt and disappointed. Did he really despise you this much? To the point of scaling down the side of a building all to just dodge a conversation with you?

But then… then passiveness took over. If this were how Eddie wanted to live then so be it. Who were you to force a man to mature?

And so, within that moment of defeat you took an oath to participate in this war of silence.

-

Eddie knew that feelings weren’t the easiest thing for him to talk about, that’s why whenever he saw that courageous glint in your eye he swerved the other way. He wasn’t ready to admit that he wasn’t angry at you—

He was hurt.

That night he found you in his bedroom he had already been wounded by what he had heard. The nasty things Nancy had said to you about him, and with so much confidence.

And when he happened upon you standing in his room, Eddie became hopeful. Too hopeful. Too joyous. He saw you there and he thought it must have been the beginning of something beautiful between the two of you.

You had came to apologise, surely?

But as he followed your line of vision and was met by his open drawer full of his product, he saw red. Eddie couldn’t remember leaving the drawer open— he did, but he couldn’t remember doing it. And the only other explanation that made any sense to him was that you were snooping through his room for more ammo to dish out to Little Miss Whinging Wheeler.

That’s why he exploded.

The only thing he was able to admit to himself was the harsh squeeze of his chest when he saw you cower away from him in what he could only pinpoint as fear.

Eddie was a gentle man, never one to raise his voice to a lady— especially one as beautiful as you.

But in that moment of fire, he had to get you as far away from him as possible.

To tell the truth, Eddie was tired of being a punching bag. Sick of being spoken about behind his back like he is a wanted criminal. He had put out all of this goodness into the world and what did he receive in return?

A roommate who looked like an angel but had a friend group better associated with demogorgons.

He just needed some time to find the bravery to admit all of this to you.

And in a brief moment of said bravery, he slipped an invitation to his gig tonight through the crack at the bottom of your bedroom door. His way of waving the white flag, if you will.

Waving the flag and bracing for impact.

-

You stared at the crack in your bedroom door, the soft light from the hallway illuminating the makeup around your eyes. The sun had long began to set and the only other form of light in your room was your small lamp located in the far corner of the darkened space, hidden behind your bra which you had tossed over it 3 days ago. The red lampshade gifted you a warm magenta glow, providing a comforting warmth as the outside chill of October began to creep its way in.

You had received Eddie’s invitation late last night and you hadn’t seen him since he slipped it beneath your door. His handwriting was messy and hard to understand but you got the memo— and you understood what the note meant.

He forgave you, and whilst you hadn’t a reason to forgive him, you did. For everything that had followed that fateful day in his bedroom.

Patiently and in breathless silence, you wait for Eddie to leave his room to begin his journey to the gigs venue. It takes him some time to get ready and you can hear whispered curses coming from the room across the hall from your own. He plays Black Sabbath music quietly on his tape player, respectful to your presence in the home, and when you hear his bedroom door creak open on its hinges you decide to meet him in the hallway.

Wide brown eyes lined in black meet yours, “Hi.” He says with a toothy smile.

You take in Eddie’s attire with a sweet honest smile. He is dressed in his signature black leather jacket, some light blue jeans which are heavily ripped and personalised with studs, and a slightly cropped white band T-shirt. His fingers adore some new rings that you haven’t seen before and you swear you see a little bit of glitter on his eyelids.

“Hey” you reply after a brief moment, now cautious of the way that Eddie is also assessing your choice of outfit for the evening.

“You decided to come…” His cheeks flood with blood and his smile stretched further that is has in weeks. Your expression reflects his and you toy with the cuff of our denim jacket.

“I didn’t want to dirty your white flag…” Your voice is confident, “Besides, it’s been a while since I’ve left the house for something that is actually fun.” Your shoulders bounce in a light shrug, “Think I can catch a ride with you?” Your eyes round and your voice strays from your once confident mask, “Please.”

Eddie crosses his arms smugly over his chest, leaning back against his doorframe. Every cell in his body has to fight against bickering cutely with you.

“Sure,” his booted foot taps against the guitar case at his side, “But you’re carrying the case to the van.” Your eyes flicker down to the door before settling back on Eddie’s face, “Scratch mine and I’ll scratch yours.” He casually winks at you and your heart swells in your chest.

There is an electrified pause before you reply with a wide smile.

“Deal.”

A/N: Hi! This is me coming back to fanfic writing SLOWLY, I understand this isn’t much and it not my best but I’m trying to post again so just be kind please. Love ya xoxo

-

taglist: @colorful-white-ideas s @littlered0000 @ali-r3n @daisy-munson @serenadingtigers @rainybloo28

@munson-enthusiast t @godcreatoreli @littlefreckles4

@what-the-jams @tlclick73 @ameliapond1995

@thepurplelovewitch @somethingvicked @costellation-hunter @munsonzgf @emxxblog @ingridvasquez

@sadbitchfangirl @im-julessssss @munsonburn3r

It all started in August.

The longing stares, stolen touches, blushing cheeks, sweating palms. Eddie had fallen for you. Hard. And it was incomprehensible to him.

Sure, you guys had been partnered on a few class projects, muttering sweet ‘Hello’s’ to one another as you passed in the hallways. But nothing overly serious. Nothing that could lead to this flutter in his inked chest.

The feeling startled him— like falling asleep, only to dream that you’re falling from a building and then you jolt awake.

You frightened him. You with your shining smile that could light up the whole of New York City, or your bigger than life bubbly personality and your Einstein like brain. You frightened Eddie Munson— and he liked it. Loved it, even.

When he looked at you, he was sure. Surer than he has ever been about anything in his entire life. He wanted you— he needed you in his future. You made him feel… wanted. Normal? Less like than outcast and more like a friend.

And so he asked you out— but not without extreme difficulty. It took him three whole days to pluck up enough cowardly courage to slip a hand written note into your locker, signed from him with a cheesy love heart stamped next to your name on the back.

Eddie was consumed by immense panic after he had posted the note to you. He paced the halls and even contemplated breaking and entering into your locker just to steal the note back. It wasn’t regret, but more like guilt.

He wasn’t brave enough to ask you face to face. He knew he wouldn’t be able to form a coherent sentence in front of you, nevermind ask you out to a diner for milkshakes.

He also couldn’t handle your rejection. It would sour him… it would break his heart.

And so when he seen you bounding over to him and the other guys at lunch like a cheerful bunny rabbit he nearly sunk and hid beneath the table. Terrified of what you might say— of what you might think of him…

Would you take him as he was?

His insides were twisting and turning, his feelings for you burning…

“Hey, Eddie…” you stop a few paces away from his perched frame, your cheeks flushed and your fingers fumbling with your pocket, “Could I please borrow you for a moment?” Your voice is sweet enough to make Eddie’s own cheeks pink and your eyes examine the table, almost as if you are asking for the men’s permission to pinch their friend.

They spare you some friendly and amused smiles, but that is all. They know better than to meddle with the things Eddie cares about.

“Sure thing, sweetheart.” He clears his throat in the form of a light cough, his palms slapping against the top of the table as he lunges from his seat and onto his feet to meet you. His movements are so fast that it takes you a moment to register that he is standing inches in front of you.

“Lead the way.” He purrs softly and that’s it for you. Your brain is none responsive. Eddie was great at the art of pretending. He was a pretender— which meant that he was the master at faking his confidence. As he watched your jaw fall slack at his toothy dimpled grin it only spurred him on further. He was adoring the effect he was having on you.

Leading Eddie into the quiet of the corridor you stop against a wall, smiling angelically up at the metal head, “I got your note.” Part of you was hesitant to even approach Eddie, in doubt that you had been brutally pranked by someone but the softness in his eyes and the relaxation of his tense shoulders put your mind at ease.

“What note?” Eddie perks a brow, a massive stretched smile on his lips and you swat at him playfully, pulling the loose piece of crumpled paper from your pocket and waving it in front of his nose, “Okay, okay.” He throws his hands up in surrender before tucking them beneath his armpits; trying to contain his nerves.

“If by chance, I did slip that into your locker… what might you reply to it? Y’know— if it were from me.”

There’s a moment of pause and you purse your lips in false thought, holding the note flat against your chest, “I think I would say yes— but only if it were you.” You sigh, frowning mockingly, “But I guess we shall never know, huh?”

You sway away from the wall, overly slumping your shoulders as you take agonisingly slow steps back toward the cafeteria.

Eddie can’t contain his thrill. You just agreed to go on a date with him. You! You agreed!

He punches the air whilst your back is turned to him before he is prancing behind you like a ballet dancer, “It was me! Did I mention that? Swear I did.” He grabs the note from you and you giggle as he examines his own handwriting, “Yep! See, right here. That’s my name.” His index finger taps on the inked page and you hum in recognition and amusement. Peeking up at him through the thickness of your eyelashes you offer him a sly smile and he is quick to return one to you.

“Okay, well… how about Friday then? You, me and some delicious milkshakes?” You chirp like a song bird, clasping your hands behind your back and rocking on your heels.

Eddie’s heart thunders in his chest and his cheeks ache from the unremovable smile on his face.

“Sounds like a date, Princess.”

-

Eddie couldn’t keep his Bambi eyes closed at night, all he could think about was you. You and the minutes counting down to your date together. He had to fight the urge every single second of every day to smother you with attention in the corridors at school. He wanted to allow you space but fuck— was it challenging.

He would leave rouge flowers and their stems poking out from the vents in your locker— never specifying if it were him or not. But you knew. You knew it was Eddie leaving you little trinkets. Like a trail of rose petals leading right to him.

In between classes he would stare at you from a distance, right through the crowd and you would feel his blazing gaze on the back of your head which, without fail, caused your flesh to flush brightly with colour.

He couldn’t help it. You were stunning and the literal gal of his wildest dreams. His pretty little flower. He just wanted you to be his so badly that he was terrified of suffocating you with his presence.

He hadn’t spoke to you from that day in the hallway; he thought it safer that way. Wait until the date, and then let you decide how you feel about him.

The thought made him antsy and unable to keep still. If he had one wish right now, it would be to read your mind. Just so he knew— so he really knew. So he could please you and make you happy. No matter the cost. No matter the effort. He would do it.

He already felt so strongly about you; and that’s why it bruised his heart so brutally to see you giggling and talking with another bloke. Eddie had never experienced jealousy on this level before, but it felt Hellish. It felt intentional and spiteful and he couldn’t control the envious tears pricking at his waterline as he longed for you from afar.

He wouldn’t let you hurt him. He wouldn’t let you get close enough… not anymore. No matter how badly he wanted a life with you. He decided not to take the risk.

And little by little, the trinkets stopped and you only received one final note that Friday morning.

A cancellation letter.

‘Can’t make it tonight, see you around.’ - Eddie

The excitement you had for the night ahead fizzled out and died— sending your stomach sinking like a plane shot from the sky.

What hurt you most was that there wasn’t even an apology. You could understand being too bashful to ask you out face to face— but to cancel on you through a lousy note? You couldn’t understand that.

You thought you meant more than that to Eddie, you thought that he thought more highly of you. Felt more for you. But you must’ve been mistaken since you had to walk through his blizzard of a mood change.

He wouldn’t look at you anymore. His once warm gaze turned icy and much less frequent than before. You couldn’t think of what you had done to deserve this from him. His cold shoulder and snippy responses.

It was hurting you more than you could have imagined. You liked Eddie— you really liked Eddie, and to have him be so brutish toward you was dizzying. Upsetting. Penetrative; like a knife to your heart. Twisting and turning relentlessly. Unwaveringly. Suffocatingly.

But you weren’t one to back down from confrontation; you were going to get the truth out of him if it were the last thing you do.

-

It’s Monday afternoon and after working yourself up all goddamn morning you decide enough is enough. You can’t take it anymore. You have to know why.

“Hey, Munson!” Eddie’s brain hasn’t time to compute what is happening before you are stomping over to him, your arms flexed by your sides as your fists are balled tightly by your waist.

“What do you want?” His deep voice is rumbly and clipped as it leaves his throat and you scoff at his nonchalant tone.

“I want you to explain this.” The crumpled piece of paper is held slotted between your middle and index finger as you wave it like a white flag in front of his face, “I never pegged you as a coward, Eddie— really, I just don’t understand.”

Eddie’s ‘give no fucks’ attitude falters at your distress and he has to shove his hands into his pockets to keep his composure. He knows he can’t sweep you up into his arms and coddle you the way he wants— so he settles for this. Being a total dickwad toward the one girl that actually makes him feel something.

“What’s not to understand? I saw you with another guy and I took the fucking hint. Plain and simple. You don’t owe me an explanation and I don’t see why I owe you one, Princess.” He shrugs his shoulders in discomfort but to you it seems like utter ignorance.

His nickname for you tastes like battery acid on your tongue. A pill that’s hard to swallow. You don’t like this facade he’s putting up— not one bit.

“What are talking about? What guy?” Genuine confusion wraps itself snuggly around your psyche and it’s now Eddie’s turn to scoff in annoyance.

“Oh, please! Don’t act dumb, Sweetheart. I saw you and Eric together with my own two eyes. Giggling all cutely— showing him extreme interest. It was clear as day that you were into him.”

“Into him?” You echo, “I was simply being polite, Eddie. That’s the type of person that I am! Maybe you should try it sometime instead acting like an asshole!” The words spit from your lips like bullets and Eddie begins spiralling.

Had he got it all wrong? He knew you were a polite and gentle girl. It’s one of the many reasons as to why he liked you. He couldn’t help his mind from going to a dark place after seeing you together with Eric. It came to him as though it were second nature.

He had to run before he got gunned down.

“Wait-“ Eddie calls after you, his voice strangled as he leaves his post to jog behind you, his belt chain jingling with his movements, “Please!” His hand clasps your shoulder softly and you spin around to face him. Your face is flushed with anger and Eddie is taken aback from the look in your eyes.

He had seen it so many time before from his peers.

Distaste. Annoyance. Fear. Fury.

All so familiar to him; but they look so foreign in your kind eyes.

“What?” Meeting him with the same blunt force he displayed earlier has his heart clenching; bracing for impact.

“I… I misunderstood.”

“You think?”

“I just… I’m not good at this.” He gestures between the pair of you. A shaky breath leaves Eddie’s lungs and you soften at the sight of him becoming dishevelled in front of you, “I don’t know how to love. And… and I guess when I saw you with Eric it was my own insecurity eating me alive. I wasn’t mad at you, I was mad at myself.”

The metal head leans against a near by wall for leverage and you move in closer to him, magnetised.

“I saw the life you could have. The life you deserve… and it wasn’t with me.” His bottom lip quivers and you can see the struggle roaring in his eyes as he tries to contain his tears, “I’m afraid. I’m afraid of getting hurt and being the one that hurts you.”

The answer was clear as day to you. You knew how to love unconditionally. You could be the one to teach him. To guide him. Eddie needed reassurance; that’s all he needed and you could offer him that. You could work at this with him.

“You don’t get to decide who gets hurt in this world,” With shaking hands you reach out to touch Eddie’s face, your thumb stroking his cheek to catch a stray tear, “I can show you how to love. And how to be loved.”

You’re smiling like an idiot, your heart pumping hopefulness throughout your entire being.

“Yeah?” Eddie sniffles gently and you nod your head vigorously.

“Yeah.”

Slender ringed fingers curl around your wrist and Eddie holds on tightly to the warmth of your skin against his.

“You feelin’ reckless, Sweet girl?” The teary eyed man is smirking now and you fear for the future of your heart; it might just combust into flames at the sight of him.

“Well, that depends what you mean…” you perk a brow, intrigued and Eddie laughs.

“Let’s ditch next period and grab those milkshakes I promised you.”

And without any further hesitation, you allow Eddie to take your hand into his and lead you out of school grounds and toward the rest of your lives together.

-

It started as a slow burn inside of your chest. You blamed it on the stress of finals but the more you saw them together, the more that burn worsened into a blaze; scorching your heart and tarring it black.

You didn’t think it possible to be obsessed with someone that you didn’t love- but you worshipped the very ground that Chrissy Cunningham walked on. At times, you thought she was able to read your mind. The way she effortlessly flicks her natural glowing golden hair over her shoulder as she laughs, looking like she was sculpted by Aphrodite herself- or how she presses her perfect rosy lips in peppery and sweet kisses to Eddie’s cheek. She had him wrapped around her skilful fingers. You couldn’t stand it.

It twisted your insides into a rope like knot- so tight and big and uncomfortable. You couldn’t breathe. You couldn’t think straight when you looked at her. At them. Your brain harbouring thoughts of envy, rotting from the inside out with lightless horrid concepts.

You couldn’t help but follow study Chrissy. Her signature blue eyeshadow that adorns her gorgeous blue eyes, her tiny upturned nose, her well proportioned features- her body. You had never repeated this information to anyone before, not even Eddie, because not only would it expose your research into Chrissy, but because you definitely weren’t ever supposed to find out.

You had walked in on her one day in the bathroom. She was hunched over in a stall, her white sneakers peeking out from beneath the cubicle door. She was vomiting. Harshly.

At first you thought she may just be sick, and she was, but it was a different conversation. You entertained that thought until you walked in a second and third time to her in the exact same position- her fatigued body draped over the toilet bowl. You understood how she maintained her physique. It broke your heart; momentarily.

What broke your heart more was that Eddie evidentially had no idea. You knew, deep down, Chrissy was just like you. A sad, broken girl. But she was better at hiding it. The Duchess of disguise. The Queen of your psyche. Your admiration of her was unhealthy, you knew that much. You just couldn’t stop. You needed Eddie to look at you the way he looks at her.

So you cut your hair into a fringe, and you change your clothes. You find your own signature colour of eyeshadow and you even purchase a few skater skirts. Sports had never really interested you until now; now you were trying out for the cheerleading team. And with being Chrissy’s friend- of course she gave you direct entry.

Because despite her beauty, Chrissy was also kind. Which made the knot in your stomach grow firmer, imbedding itself within you permanently.

-

“Hey, Eddie!” You make sure your voice is dripping with the sweetest form of honey as you bat your mascara thick eyelashes at him. He glances at you from his magazine, quirking a brow at your chirpy energy.

“Hello… What’s up?” He asks, his words clipped as his eyes focus back on the flimsy book he holds sturdily in his hands. God… his hands. The rings that compliment his slender fingers and the bracelets that dress his wrist. You couldn’t get enough of it- of him.

It was impossible for you to hold his attention for more than a few seconds, and you had bound into the library full of hope and partial confidence today. You had pieced together one of your best outfit. A denim jacket draped over your shoulders, a white tank top (with no bra) and a cute skirt in your favourite colour which also matched your eyeshadow. Your hair was in a voluminous pony tail, held up by a great big scrunchie and your eyes were bright with popping colour. Your cheeks were dusted with blush and your nails painted perfectly; with the help of your mother.

You couldn’t think of a reason why Eddie wouldn’t look at you. You looked totally bitchin’!

“Uhm…” you stutter, your small confidence wavering at his lack of interest, “We haven’t really hung out in a while… I thought maybe we could? If you like!” There is a festering in the pit of your stomach, a panic that grows with every anticipating second, “We don’t really hang out anymore... just us, I mean.” You add, hoping further context will make you sound a little less desperate.

You and Eddie used to hang out every day. Sometimes alone, sometimes with the whole group. But lately… things have changed. And you know the reason why.

Eddie acknowledged you with a hum, finally placing his magazine down and narrowing in on your appearance. You thought you wanted him to look at you, but the intense confusion on his face made you long for the earth to gape open beneath you and swallow you whole.

“Looks like ya did a deep dive through Chrissy’s wardrobe.” His chuckle makes your ears heat and your face flush as his fingertips pluck at the sheer scrunchie wrapped in your hair. You can’t tell if he is joking or not— but to you, it’s a compliment nonetheless.

After a moment of pause and total excitement you gather your composure quickly and cough a meek reply, “I’m trying something new.”

You’re trying to be someone new.

“Hmm,” He examines you further, “I dunno,” Eddie scratches at his chin, his once soft and playful features now express something more distasteful, “I personally prefer your old style— this seems… out of character.” There was a lilt to his deep voice, which made him sound interrogative.

“You.. you do?” You curse inwardly at the stutter in your airy voice. To say his words shocked you was an understatement. They had your jaw hanging loose and your eyes opened broadly. Had you gotten it all wrong? Were you really just as pretty before all of this? Or was he teasing you… was he trying to make you feel better? Was this his attempt at telling you that you look like an utter clown in comparison to Chrissy?

You’d never know… because you would never ever ask him such things.

You think back to a note that got passed to you in class not too long ago- you weren’t sure of the culprit (you suspected Jason) — it read along the lines of,

‘Apply all the makeup you want, but at the end of the day it’s just lipstick on a pig.’

Were you a pig? Was this all just a feeble and comical attempt at beauty? To be desired. To be wanted. It’s all you longed for. It’s all you dreamed of.

You wanted Eddie to see you. To want you. And at this rate, you were losing all hope.

“Yeah,” alongside a small laugh he also flashes you a toothy smile, a mocking smile— and you clamp your jaw closed to stop yourself from shaking out a sob, “Listen, you’re free to chill here with me if you want but— hey!”

You couldn’t take it. The embarrassment. The knife twisting in your chest and puncturing your heart. You flee from the table abruptly before Eddie even has a chance to say anything more to you.

What was wrong with you? You wanted his attention, you wanted him alone and when you got it you despised the humorous way he gazed at you. You didn’t want to be entertaining or funny— you wanted to be loved.

Loved by him.

To please him.

To make him proud…

On exiting the library you pass Chrissy who was entering through the heavy fire doors, clearly she is on her way to meet Eddie. It was uncanny, almost like looking into a mirror.

The blonde spares you a small smile but not without a worried and intrigued glance at your attire before she is muttering a quick ‘Hello’ which you don’t even bother to return. You are too focused on your pursuit to the bathroom where you can hide yourself in an empty stall and cry without judgement. The only issue? You didn’t bring any makeup wipes for the mascara that has plagued your face in splotches and streaks of black tears.

Your eyes sting furiously and your bottom lip quivers outwith your control. It’s hard to believe that you have allowed yourself to stoop this low, crying shamelessly on campus in front of your peers. Their sympathetic eyes and taunting grins don’t go unnoticed by you as you finally make it to the bathroom, bursting into the void room like a bat out of Hell. Slamming the cubicle door closed and sitting on the toilet bowl where you start to question reality.

What are you doing?

You despise the fact that you know, no matter what, no matter how stupid you look- how ridiculous your clothes are and your sorry attempts at looking pretty, you would continue to do it. Even if people stared, gawked, whistled, laughed… you would continue on this descent into madness. The chase of perfection. The downward spiral of your mind had only just begun and you had a far distance yet to fall.

-

Whilst classes had finished for a long weekend and everyone was outdoors enjoying what was left of the sun before Fall crept its way in, you were sat in front of your bathroom mirror. 

Pulling, pinching, tweezing, twisting, sucking, shaving, grabbing and crying.

God, you couldn’t stop crying.

You couldn’t remember a time when you didn’t cry.

To you, winter was already here. You were chilled to the bone, hollow in your chest. Insides were sunken. You felt vacant of any joy.

“Honey!!” Your mother yells suddenly from the bottom of the staircase, her voice is cloud like and warm, “Someone is here to see you!” There is a mutter of something inaudible, “Chrissy!” She confirms snippily and your face drops heavily into a worried frown.

“I’m in the shower!!” You shriek back dishonestly and you are reminded that you have a heart as it shudders inside of your chest. You aren’t ready to see her— you don’t have a lick of makeup on, your hair isn’t done and you are still wrapped up in your bath towel. 

Your first thought is how do you get rid of her? How do you lie your way out of this?

You couldn’t.

“Okay, she’ll be waiting down here for you then…” Your mother’s voice dies out and you can hear her offering Chrissy something to drink and eat; which Chrissy declines.

You move around your bedroom agilely, hustling to get as presentable as you possibly could to face the girl waiting downstairs for you. It doesn’t quite register that Chrissy is sitting with your mother, chatting and possibly gossiping. All you care about is getting some makeup slapped on your face and some nice clothes hugging your body.

Your hair can be brushed, but you don’t have time to style it— that’ll have to come later. After multiple a few sprays of your favourite perfume that smells like vanilla and a tinge of cedar wood you feel ready enough to leave your sanctuary.

Nearly tripping over your entire wardrobe that covers your bedroom floor you fly toward the door handle, bracing yourself at the top of the staircase before you descend.

Time to meet your maker.

Your intense gaze flicks hurriedly between your mother and Chrissy as they both stand to meet you as you enter into the lounge room. Chrissy’s hair is twirled and curled to perfection and a short pink summer dress embraces her small frame. On her feet is a pair of red Mary Jane heels and you catch a peek at the silver jewellery strung around her neck and her wrists.

“Hi,” you say, feeling like it is the first breath you take since entering the room.

Chrissy bounds over to you, stringing her arms around your shoulders and pulling you in for a quick but sweet hug, “Hi!” She giggles in a sing song tone before pulling away, “You smell amazing by the way! You’ll have to let me know what that is later!” Her fingers linger on the exposed skin of your bicep and you cringe away from her touch.

“Thanks,” Your mother has long left the room and you walk a few paces away from Chrissy.

“We were heading to the movies, you wanna join? It’s meant to be such a warm night tonight!” To your disadvantage Chrissy follows behind you closely, closing the distance you were trying to create between the both of you, “The whole group will be there! Plus, it’s a thriller which I know you love.” She winks at you and you hate that you can feel your lips curving up into a minuscule smile.

“I dunno, Chris.” Your hand palms at the back of your neck, you feel hot with discomfort and to be quite frank all you want to do is lay in bed and mope.

“Please!” She clasps her hands together, inching closer to you— if that were even possible, “I’ll even buy your ticket!” Her pillowy bottom lip pouts out slightly, “I just wanna hang out with you, it’s been so long.”

And she was right. It had been a long time. You had been so swept up in this horrible pursuit of yours that you forgot you were actually friends with Chrissy. Long before you even knew of Eddie’s existence.

A defeated sigh leaves through your nostrils and you raise your shoulders to your ears, “Fine.” You smile, a smile that feels the most genuine it has in weeks.

Chrissy squeals with excitement, jumping up and down on the spot before taking your hand into hers. Interlocking your fingers so she can make sure you don’t make a run for it, “Let’s go, tiger!”

-

You all find your seats quickly, settling into them with your snacks and beverages. You partially regret not getting a drink but you decide that you’ll be able to soldier through. It’s what you do.

It was no surprise to you that Eddie was there too, but you couldn’t help but panic at the sight of him waiting for you and Chrissy to arrive at the theatre. His tatted arms crossed comfortably over his chest and a love filled smile teasing at his lips as Chrissy trotted over to him, practically jumping into his arms for a hug.

You fell behind them, ensuring you left as much distance as you possibly could. The sight of Eddie alone was enough to send you tumbling into a frenzy of inky feelings.

You could smell Eddie’s cheap cologne mixed with a hint of powerful weed and for a moment it clouds your senses. Taking hold of everything you knew— past, present, future. You couldn’t think about any of it, not with his scent engulfing your nostrils like second hand smoke.

Once the group had settled into the dimly lit theatre you sink into your seat behind Eddie and Chrissy, your shoulders slumping as you wish for the seat to turn into some sort of magical trap door that will transport you to another universe. But of course, you could never be so lucky.

The movie begins with a deafening introduction and you wince at the sound, your finger tips brushing over your ears gently to make sure that they hadn’t been blown off of the side of your head.

Steve occupies the seat next to you, and Robin is next to him with Vickie. You had grown to quite enjoy Vickie’s company. You loved how happy Robin got when she was in touchable reach… you pined for a connection like that.

Normally, you would be in your element as you watched a thriller movie, but something in front of you proved to be far more interesting.

Eddie and Chrissy were whispering sweet nothing into one another’s ear, Chrissy giggling and blushing at whatever it was that Eddie had said— probably something dirty and ridiculous.

And you could handle that. You could endure that.

But what you couldn’t take was watching as their tongues battled it out in a sloppy and erotic kiss. Chrissy had asked you to come and see this film— was it all a rouse just so she could show you who Eddie truly belongs too? So she could dismiss your attempts and break your heart further?

Unbeknownst to you, Steve had clocked the expression on your face. Tears glossing over your eyes, your front teeth gnawing on your bottom lip to try and contain whatever this was that you were feeling— but most importantly, he noticed the newfound stiffness in your body. He could feel you going rigid next to him.

“Hey, you okay?” His voice is low and kind and you should have paid more attention to his attentiveness but you don’t.

“I need to use the bathroom.” Is all you reply before lugging all of your stuff loosely and lazily into your arms and bolting for the theatre isle, but not without earning a few confused looks from Robin.

You bypass the restrooms, your eyes focused on the colossal glass doors which would separate you from Eddie and Chrissy officially.

The humid air hits your skin in an agonising envelop of warmth and you pull your sleeve over the palm of your hand to rub against your soaked cheeks.

Your chest feels heavy with every shaking intake of breath that you manage to pull into your lungs. You are heaving, gasping for air as you sob into the thick material of your sweater.

The sound of passing cars hits your ears and you slightly angle yourself away from the access road connecting the theatre to other public establishments. The images of Chrissy tongue down Eddie’s throat plays over and over in your mind— you don’t even know what the film was about because you were so hyper focused on them.

Your skin feels as though it doesn’t fit right over your skeleton and you grab at the material of your skirt, fisting the fabric as you try to ground your raging emotions.

You catch a whiff of theatre food and it causes bile to raise up the back of your throat, vomit threatening to project from your mouth.

People pass you by, their out of context conversations entering one of your ears and leaving the other. You felt so overstimulated— so riddled with anxiety that your brain hadn’t had space to even register Steve’s hand on your shoulder.

But when you do, you flinch away from him, taken aback by the horror stricken look on his soft features, “Hey… what’s going on?” His voice is low, a whisper as he tries to contain the situation between the two of you. Not wanting whatever this is to spill into the public.

You shake your head, your strong walls flagging up, “Nothing,” you dismiss him, “That movie was just… really scary..” you lie through your teeth and your watery eyes betray your words as tears continue to stream down your flushed skin.

“Bullshit.” He spits, his eyes turning to slits as he inches in closer to you, “Tell me what’s wrong right now.” His thick eyebrows have furrowed deeply on his forehead and you continue to deny him of any information.

“Steve— I’m fine! That movie was scary, I’m scared! That’s all… and.. and I needed some fresh air.” You shrug your shoulders, hoping that the messy headed man would leave it at that but he replies to your dishonesty with a discontent shake of his head.

“You’re fucking lying. Why are you lying to me?” He is so close to you now that you can feel his breath fanning onto your face, “We’re friends, right?” He cocks his head slightly to the right, his eyes becoming a bit more gentle, “Right?”

“Yes!” You respond instantly, “Of course we are friends-“

“Then tell me what’s going on! What is all of this about!” He gestures to your face, but his eyes scan across your body as well. He wants to know the whole truth, and you aren’t going to give it to him.

“I just told you!” You try not to yell, and thankfully your despair is doing a good job at strangling your voice, “I needed air—“ Steve cuts you off.

“Stop it. Stop it now.” He takes a hold of your arm, hurrying you away from the movie theatre entrance, “Just tell me. Whatever it is, I can help! I can help, okay? There’s nothing too big.” You stare into his honey suckle eyes, seeing your owe reflection staring back at you. It causes your stomach to flip with disgust.

“Why can’t you just let this go? I’m fine, Steve! I’m fucking fine! I just wanted air because I felt sick and you’re causing a scene!” You’re yelling now, your once sadness provoked tears turning to anger.

“I’m causing the scene? You’re the one lying to me and busting my balls! I just want to help you!” He takes a frustrated hand through his hair.

“I don’t need your help! I don’t need anyone, I’m fine on my own. I can take care of myself— you don’t get it! You’ll never get it, Harrington!” You jab at his chest, your body shaking with adrenaline.

“Harrington? Wow, okay. Something is definitely bothering you because you only ever call me that when you are really fucking pissed and I know I haven’t angered you this much so just tell me.” He circles you like a shark in murky water and you flee from him, needing some breathing space.

“Tell me!” He demands, charging after you.

You swing around to face him, your entire body feeling as though it’s going to combust.

“You wanna know, Steve? You really wanna fucking know?!” You march toward him, stopping a few paces away from his large frame.

“I’m in love with Eddie!” Your voice is an unattractive squeak, “Is that what you want to know, Steve? Are you fucking happy now?” You’re trembling now— a mix of rage, melancholy and dread.

“I am in love with someone who will never love me back. I… I have tried so hard to win him over.” You pluck at your t-shirt, scoffing at the silliness of it all, “I tried to change everything about me. I tried to be the one he would want but he doesn’t want me. He’ll never fucking want me, Steve.”

You wrap your arms around yourself, a form of defensiveness, “I’ll always be second best— no.” A moment of ugly realisation hits you, “I’m not even on his list. I’m not even a back up option to him. I’m a nobody. I can’t compete— I can’t compare.”

You’re a mess now. Smudged eyeliner. Smeared lipstick. You are a museum of failed art.

“I am in love with Eddie Munson and he doesn’t even know who I am.”

You try to lessen the blow of your own words with a tight lipped teary smile and a shrug of your shoulders… but whatever was left of your bruised heart was now torn to shreds. Unfixable. Unlovable.

“No one wants me.”

Through your distorted vision you hadn’t even noticed the tears pricking at Steve’s own eyes as he watched you fall to pieces in front of him.

Gently he brings you to lay flat against his chest, one of his hands rest tenderly against your hair whilst the other it draped over your shoulders.

He doesn’t say anything. He just holds you silently and allows you to sob into his broad chest— your makeup destroying his pristine white shirt.

A few moments of the embrace pass and that’s when you hear a muted voice from behind Steve’s large frame. A voice you had hoped to not hear— a voice that belonged to someone you had prayed would never ever hear you confess what you just had. A voice that was laced with what you could only pinpoint as malice and repulsion.

Eddie.

“What.. the fuck?”

And as Steve’s body tensed against yours, you blinked away the last of your tears and accepted your fate.

-