Soleum mentioned the white lizard blanket as his symbolic exit. Then? Crickets. Was it fun watching him DIY a white lizard blanket on the spot? Lmaooo.
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Shinya is bound to the wheelchair and Tsunagu smashes all his worries about their relationship with gentle love and hot chocolate
Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Angst
The winter was awfully cold this year, and the freezing air made Tsunagu scrunch his nose in discomfort. It was snowing, it had been for days, and it felt like a miracle that it had started the day his husbandâs release from the hospital had been approved. He had needed to stay there a bit longer still, but the moment had finally come.
Almost two months after he had risked his life for the young man who should have been saved by Tsunagu himself, but it was Shinyaâs quirk that had made it possible. It was his husband who had risked his life just to save a promising soon-to-be hero he didnât even know that well. Not as well as Tsunagu did at least, after taking him under his wing. Despite all odds, however, the other had survived his risky mission. He had lost his ability to walk, after using up too many of his nerves, and was missing a kidney, but he was alive.
Alive and tired and filled with guilt and fear about their relationship. Tsunagu had needed a long time to assure him that none of this changed his feelings for him; if anything, this selfless act only made his love deeper. It had started way back when they were just students, and lasted through so many of their worries; like Shinyaâs transition, his struggles to get hormones and surgeries, the financial struggles they had gone through together, and all the worries Tsunagu had held when opening his agency.
He even remembered vividly how nervous the two of them had been the night before their wedding, but even then there hadnât been a single trace of doubt that this man was who he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Even if he was bound to a wheelchair now. All that mattered to the denim hero was that he had not lost him. That he would still wake up with him, and kiss him, and hear his laugh.
Gently, he brushed off some snow from Shinyaâs hair and took off the hat he had been wearing. He stopped pushing the wheelchair, and crouched down to put it on the otherâs head:
âAre you warm enough, my little fiber?â
The smaller manâs eyes looked teary, and it broke the denim heroâs heart. He softly took the otherâs hands, squeezing them reassuringly; they were warm, much warmer than his own, and his heart skipped a beat with the joy of still being able to hold them:
âWhatâs wrong, love?â
âNothing is wrong, dear. Everything is.. overwhelming. I am so happy. And scared. And grateful that you want to stay with me. Iâm just feeling too much.â
He explained, cupping Tsunaguâs hands to gently blow warm breath on them. It was something he had been doing ever since theyâd started dating, and one of their favorite moments of winter. It was caring and affectionate and assuring. The taller one smiled and brought Shinyaâs knuckles up to his covered lips, in a gentle kissing gesture:
âMy mind was flashing with fear of having to attend your funeral. I was fully prepared to keep my promise of still loving you if you were a worm and carrying you around in my chest pocket. Shinya, staying with you will never be compromised by anything. Especially not injuries. Iâm your husband. I married you as a promise to always be by your side no matter what. I know youâre scared about so many things right now, and I know I canât soothe all of those fears, but I want to assure you that my love for you runs much deeper than you might think right now. Iâm just so happy I didnât lose you.â
Tears were now running down his husbandâs cheeks, and they must have been cold with the air and snow, so Tsunagu wiped them away, brushing his thumbs over Shinya's cheeks for as long as it took him to stop crying:
âCan I kiss you?â
âYes please.â
Tsunagu pulled him closer and if his words hadnât been assuring enough, this kiss simply had to be; it was long and emotional and likely the happiest one they had ever shared. Happier than their first one and happier than their wedding kiss because it held so much assurance; for Shinya that he really meant what he said, and for Tsunagu that the other kissed him back and hadnât given up on the relationship:
âYou are the most amazing man I have ever met, you are so beautiful and caring and brave. And I know youâre scared about not being able to continue being a hero, but you will always be the most amazing hero in my heart. What you did, and what you risked, is the most heroic thing anyone could ever do. And I will never stop admiring you.â
And for the first time in weeks, a smile formed on the younger oneâs face; a smile that could melt anyoneâs heart in seconds:
âI love you. I love you so so incredibly much.â
âI love you too, my thread, more than I could ever say.â
Tsunagu straightened up, and smiled back at the other in awe:
âHow about we buy a hot chocolate on the way home, how would you feel about that?â
The cocoa they bought tasted like heaven and it almost made the two of them cry again at the happiness of being able to enjoy it together. It was hot and smooth and had a hint of cinnamon and orange. The stand they had gotten it from had been there for as long as they could remember, and had never failed to make them feel better:
âDo you remember when we used to drink this, when we were Lightningstormâs sidekicks? Right after I graduated? It was when I just started my transition.â
âI do remember. And when my first sidekick went to another agency and I felt so self-conscious.â
They chuckled, realizing just how many memories this hot chocolate held. It was assuring and like a dream to think about how many more they would form over it. Of course, there would be dreams and plans they would have to change, but none of that mattered. Tsunagu didnât care if the other would never be a hero again. Or if he would depend on him. He was ready to retire if he needed, to dedicate his days to taking care of his most loved one.
All the tension from the past weeks and months seemed to have disappeared with the sweet, warm drink they drank at their favorite meeting spot; from there, they could see far across the sea, watching some few particularly thick-skinned souls swimming and surfing. It seemed ridiculous to Jeanist, who pulled his coat tighter around himself, but it was a nice and calm view.
Soft pressure on his thigh disrupted his thought and when he looked down, his husband had his head leaned against him, giving him the same look he always gave when wanting affection and cuddles. Tsunagu slipped off the hat and let his fingers run through the younger one's hair, caressing his scalp, weirdly amused by how oily it was:
âWaited for me to wash your hair, love?â
Soft pink tinted Shinyaâs cheeks as he nodded slowly; they had offered to wash it at the hospital, but he had refused. It had been a long time since anyone but Tsunagu or himself had even touched it, and it had become much more intimate over the years. The same went for seeing the blonde with messy hair; it was something treasured and something that only really happened between the two of them.
âAre you comfortable- can we take a bath together later? Iâm tired and youâre like a denim icicle. A jicicle.â
The laugh that erupted from Tsuangu was sudden and it slightly startled Shinya, who started to laugh as well after the shock wore off:
âIt wasnât that funny!â
âOh yes it was, my precious cotton heart, Iâm glad you can still joke.â
Both of them knew that there would be many things to talk about, on how to proceed and how to live through and cope with everything life had thrown in their way. But those things were nothing that couldnât be talked about the next day.
They had promised a lifetime to each other after all, and this was nothing anything but death could ever change. And given how narrowly both of them had avoided deathâs kiss on more than one occasion, this would not be the case for a long time.
Tsunagu pulled down his scarf and grabbed Shinyaâs face for another long but gentle kiss before giving the reply heâd been waiting for:
Hi! There may have been a post like this before, but I can't find it, so I apologize in advance. What are your thoughts on Berserk chapter 364 and especially the "A single tear" Griffith's panel?
Hello! You have a really cool blog, and it's always interesting to read your posts. I wanted to ask, what do you think about Griffith's tear in Chapter 364? Are these his genuine feelings, or are they related to the fetus? And what does it all mean in general? Thank you in advance!
Got two asks on this, so I'm combining them into one. If you're the same person, then just so you know it can take me a few days to respond to an ask because I tend to answer them in batches and queue them up to one or two per day for a while.
You can actually find all my thoughts on the more recent chapters under the corresponding tag, ie chapter 364
In brief though I think the tear is Griffith's, not moonbaby's, and it's a result of residual feelings and vague dream-like memories of hanging out with Guts and Casca. I've always theorized that NGriff has emotions himself and he's using the fetus as a way to deny them, and part of those feelings is a deep repressed regret over the loss of the Hawks, hence inviting Rickert to join him and being at a loss for words when turned down, and of course love for Guts, which we even saw as Femto when he let him escape.
So imo it makes sense that being with Guts and Casca again, even in a vague dream-like way through another body, would give him feelings.
We are forever grateful for you, Edgeshot! <3
And just, what the fuck, Mirko? What are you?
----
(Secretly I just wanted my ships <3 a scene when they cry over Bakugouâs body <3
I also wanted to enjoy the feeling of Bakugou being dead for a little longer. The strange mixture of satisfaction and surprise with a hint of sorrow. Because the boy had dreams he worked for with so much determination.)
