#chana

As requested by @querade :)

Yes! I finally watched this movie this last week. So here's how Cosmere characters might react if they, somehow, watched it too.

1. Pattern

Pattern: [humming with increasing volume & displeasure] Pattern: And what is wrong with patterns???

2. Sixth of the Dusk

Vathi: Uh...Dusk? Are Sak and Rokke both wearing tiny hats? Dusk: Yes. Dusk: I..............heard that birds like to wear tiny hats. Vathi: They are SO cute! Dusk: I know.

3. Nightblood & Szeth

Nightblood: I liked the part where the demon boyfriend turned into her sword and then they sucked the souls out of every audience member to create a giant shield to protect the world and everybody liked it. Nightblood: I feel like it's weirdly rare in media for the soul-sucking to be presented positively! Szeth: ...I am not sure that is exactly what happened, Sword-Nimi.

4. Leshwi, Raboniel, Venli

Leshwi: So the original inhabitants of the planet use their music to fight off the violent invaders from another world, huh? Raboniel: Invaders driven there by their violent, hateful god. Venli: And yet, I bet humans watch this and think they're the good guys, when they're obviously the demons.

5. Siri & Vivenna

Siri: I would give my right arm for a fluffy blue tiger that I could ride. Vivenna: It does seem like a really convenient way to send messages. Vivenna: Distance is meaningless, and it's clearly intelligent enough to securely deliver the message to to the right person each time. Siri: Vivenna! That's not the point! It's FLUFFY Vivenna: It might be rude for the messages to arrive wet, though... That's the only downside... Siri: FLUFFY

6. Lirin & Hesina

Lirin: So having ESTABLISHED that the demons are sentient, have thoughts & feelings, and aren't doing this by choice, the movie still ends with them all being slaughtered?? Lirin: What kind of message are they sending? Hesina: Do you want to talk about the themes of intergenerational trauma & of a child who thinks their parent can't fully love them for who they are? Lirin: ... Lirin: So you noticed that too, huh?

7. Kaladin, Adolin, & Shallan

Adolin: ...We should totally start a band. Shallan: I've already done costume sketches. Adolin: Wow, those look great! I think we need capes, though. Shallan: Oooh, good idea. Kaladin: [opens his mouth] Shallan: Don't worry--we'll have you in the back doing kata. That will be your dancing. You'll look hot. Adolin: Maya should be doing it with him! They can have golden spears! Shallan: Adding those to the drawing now. Kaladin: [peering over their shoulders] Can I at least have a shirt? Adolin & Shallan: No.

8. Marasi

Marasi: Huntrix are mighty warriors... Yet also feminine... Smart... Internationally renowned... Caring... Marasi: It's like if there were THREE Ascendant Warriors. Marasi: And they performed their feats of heroism live. Marasi: .... Marasi: What a beautiful world that would be.

9. Renarin & Rlain

Renarin: Is weird that I think they're actually much hotter when the patterns on their skin are showing? Rlain: [squeezing his hand] Absolutely not.

10. Nightblood & Lift

Nightblood: So you agree, right? The ending was all about how soul-sucking is good! Lift: Mmm...gotta agree to disagree there, friend. Lift: Anyway, I think the movie is more about how you got to eat a lot to fight a lot. Lift: And that's a storming important message.

11. Hrathen & Dilaf

Dilaf: You know..."fan" is short for "fanatic." Hrathen: Your point being? Dilaf: And in this movie, these big concerts created a mighty crowd of fanatics! Dilaf: Imagine how many converts we would get, if we had a concert all about the glory of Shu-Dereth... Hrathen: That is...a surprisingly sane suggestion from you. Dilaf: AND THEN SLAUGHTERED OUR ENEMIES DURING THE CONCERT, JUST LIKE HUNTRIX! Hrathen: Aaand there it is.

12. The Heralds