#chalaza

- One and a Half Birds takes place entirely in a server hub (in the Between dimension). This means it's not on a server. Only one inventory slot is active (the soul slot). Materials are Minecraft-themed, so toothpaste and soap are made from charcoal.

- The server hub is New Star Station. It's built in a perimeter that's covered at the top; everyone is underground. Lots of deepslate and bedrock.

- All characters are mob hybrids. They're hatched from eggs laid by the 100 mob-themed dragons. Grian is a parrot, Mumbo a wandering trader, and Scar is an allay who became a vex (His player file broke and he became a vex after Cub rescued him from the death loop this sent him into). Grian and Scar have wings and can fly. Scar can clip through walls.

- Player files look like end crystals when placed on crying obsidian. Otherwise, they look flat. These are important; it's their life force. They're also kind of like Poké balls.

- This story's Grian swapped places with the Grian who USED to live in the digital universe. This plays into Grian's Watcher lore: he came from a universe where the Life Series was real and scary. It's left him traumatized. The fic will explain this in more detail (as early as Chapter 2).

- Grian, Scar, and Mumbo are close friends (Platonic). They each have apartments in different places around the perimeter. Grian's is on the second floor, Mumbo's is on the ground floor (Next to his llamas). The fic starts in Grian's living room.

- Players are digital. Their bodies are made of code and light. In this story, Mumbo deals with a problem in his code. Players can't easily carry each other because they're made of light, so they can only touch briefly before their bodies fade through each other.

- There's no sex in the digital world. Players were created by developers and they weren't designed with those reproductive parts. However, the forehead is a sensitive zone for them, so tapping foreheads is a sign of affection. Players can breed if they eat a lot of golden carrots, but those are on-server only items (Extinct in the Between dimension). No sex scenes or gore in this story. Fun fact, but they use the bathroom by tapping the side of a composter. It just drains their bathroom needs automatically. That's it.

- Martyn and Mumbo are married because this story takes place right after Last Life SMP (where they were married). Grian and Scar don't know Mumbo is married.

- Martyn is a phantom hybrid: second in command of the local flock, under Bdubs. His job is to chase sleepy players back to their portals. If they don't go, he bites them, which automatically kicks them out of the Between dimension and back to their Overworld beds (on whichever server they've told the game is their AFK).

- Skins are clothing items. They can be taken off, revealing the true player form: glowing blue code. Grian is an exception because he's not blue (but his skin does come off). Since skin is clothing, it doesn't hurt when it comes off.

- Souls come in four temperatures: hot, warm, cool, and chilly. This is rarely important except in medical contexts, and it's important in this fic because of Mumbo's medical issues.

- Mumbo really does eat Grian's soul in Hermitcraft canon, so that's the lore I'm playing with. Impulse and Skizz are interpreted as sharing souls due to their Naked & Scared series' lore, so Impulse gives Grian some advice.

- Martyn is an obligate anivore. He can't eat physical food; he can only eat souls. When an anivore bites a player to log them out, this gives them energy. The player is forced to rest briefly before they can return to Between.

- "Soul teeth" don't make contact with a player skin: just the soul beneath. It doesn't hurt to be logged out, but some people like it (It resets their hunger meter and means they don't have to walk home, cook, or do dishes) and some people don't (Preferring to leave Between by exiting through a portal on their own feet).

- Mumbo has an infection (parallel of an STD) because Martyn chews on him as a form of affection, and Martyn's job is biting other people. Due to Martyn not properly brushing his teeth and Mumbo not properly washing his soul, Mumbo's soul is contaminated with other species data. When the story starts, he's taking medicine to fix this.

- Scar has a glitch that moves to different places of his body over time. Sometimes he can walk and sometimes he can't. In this story, Scar uses a cane.

- Camera accounts are people. In the opening scene of this story, Grian's having a party at his house where he's hanging out with Mumbo and Scar while TwoMuchGrian, MumboDrone, and BadTimeWithScar are hanging out in the back room. There's one scene where Two crawls inside Grian's head, which he can do because he has a special camera person body.

- Etho is a self-taught doctor (a nod to him being a programmer IRL). He and Mumbo talk about Mumbo's health.

- Scar is also an anivore (His official vex lore is that "he eats people"), so he's able to advise and supervise the eating process, but doesn't participate himself.

Martyn is dead, but unfortunately, no one's had the chance to tell that to Martyn. Martyn's in a fishbowl. Well, like… Martyn's soul is in the fishbowl- his skin fell in the Void. Or maybe got vaporized? Not sure. He looks like glowing blue smoothie stuff, complete with weird sprinkle colors, but Bdubs is pretty sure Etho would strangle him if he tried putting Martyn in a cup. Can you get drunk on real souls like you can on raw binary code? Huh…

Nobody in New Star Station's ever seen nothing like this. Or if they have, they sure haven't said that to Bdubs. Etho said the guy's trying to fight a system overload - Martyn; Martyn's trying (Etho says) - but it sure is violent. Geez…

"Chalaza" - Chapter 1

"Scar," Bdubs is saying, and Bdubs has his full wingspan on display. Saliva's dribbling from one corner of his mouth. His eyes are lanterns washing the road, electric green like lamps made of limes. "I love you. Oh, of course I love you… but it's not a full moon. That's our feed!"

[...]

"The hour's mine," Bdubs says again, trembling where he crouches on his hands and feet. His tail smacks once against the floor, wings flaring up. "I'm the devs' perfect killing machine. Aren't you scared?"

One and a Half Birds - Chapter 15

"Why… Why are we eating worms? Are we that low on resources already? I thought we had cows. Why would you do that?"

"Protein." Then, probably since Impulse still looks miffed and is getting miffed-er by the second, he tosses in, "Oh, quit complaining… The wheat is fresh! I just- Like, I just barely made it on the crafting table not five minutes ago. It's only got worms because I just pulled it from the dirt. Not because it's gone gross. It's got nothing to do with that. I don't eat old worms."

"You don't know how old those worms were."

"Babies. It's a new series, Impulse."

Scar, from the distance, "You ate a baby!?"

"Hickory (You Dick)ory Dock"

“Did you get the cobwebs?”

“Oh! Forgot. It was that witch, poking around here. She got me turned around.” Bdubs flapped his hand, already trotting off to get his sword. The sword should be a great way to pull cobwebs off the ceiling, right? You can twist ‘em up like cotton candy. If baby spiders are a thing, they probably crunch real nice on every bite. He checked back only once. And Etho stood there, shivering above a puddle on the floor. “Hey. You should strip. You’re gonna freeze to death.”

“S’okay. Spawn’s not that far.”

“All right… It’s your funeral. And if you die, I’m not burying your body in drippy clothes. That’s how you get mold. That’s how you respawn as a drowned or something.”

"Do Fish People Dream of Magic Gloves?"

"Um…" There's context here. Probably. Impulse pulls back anyway, exhaling hard. "I never had a flock before I joined the New Star portal hub. I had Skizz."

"You didn't have a flock?" Bdubs leans across the bed, eyes shining with invasive curiosity now. The mattress squeaks and dips. When Impulse tightens his lips, Bdubs throws his arms to either side. "Oh, no way! I was there when Skizz brought you to the station! They called me in to check you out! You were spawned beneath the full moon like me, right? 'Course you were; it shows. Only phantom hybrid I ever met whose wingspan beat out mine. 'Never had a flock;' Judas priest… I don't believe that for a second." He slaps the lower part of Impulse's back, which jolts them both as they briefly drain half a heart. They tick up again. Bdubs falls back on the bed with a whump. "Impulse, I was drooling over you and I wasn't even insecure about my status. You were captain material if ever I saw one."

"Like Newlyweds Do"

Getting Impulse into bed takes Herculean effort, and trying to cuddle him is a fight like you wouldn't believe. He's always so stubborn! For real, he acts like plopping his head down on actual pillows is an affront to nature and everything in it. And for what, huh? There's no way that makes him happy. Literally no way.

[...]

See, every relationship's gotta have that one guy who takes initiative. Otherwise, how are you gonna get anywhere? This is basic roleplay 101. He's the instigator; he'll break the ice. This is fine!

Aren't they supposed to be husbands in this game? Husbands should cuddle, probably. Bdubs pushes his shoulder again - shaking it, really - and whispers, "Hey… Are you still up?" in an attempt to get him to turn over.

[...]

"Shut up. Hey, come on. If you didn't want to roleplay married life with me, you wouldn't have agreed to be my husband. You're in love with me."

Impulse makes an excessively rude gesture over his shoulder with one hand, not turning over in the slightest. Bdubs sucks in a gasp, writhing up through the bed sheets, and shakes him back and forth again.

"Hey! You can't do that! What are you tryna say, huh?"

"You Can Sleep While I Drive"

Bdubs is the next to speak up, lifting his head. "Mom, we don't hunt in the Fox Dragon's territory. Scott's asked us not to leave the perimeter. So we don't."

"Your talents are wasted here, BdoubleO100."

"Not wasted." His hands are shaking, though. Martyn stretches out one foot, laying his ankle against Bdubs' own. I've got you, he says in the silence, and Bdubs relaxes his fingertips out from fists. He clears his throat. "I'm a proud captain. I hunt not only for my flock, but for anyone in New Star who can't. That's real noble."

"So it's about the sport?"

"It's about providing."

"Why is InTheLittleWood hungry?"

Another wave of silence crashes down around the table. Martyn's stare is on the numbers in his drinking glass. His hands are in his lap. Bdubs looks at Linda, then at Martyn. Then at Linda again. "Huh?"

Again: "Why is InTheLittleWood hungry?"

"Martyn's fine! He's got his own special hunting ground. He's fine."

"Mum's the Word"

"Why'd you come here in the middle of the night?" Bdubs asks, settling down on the bottom step. He folds his hands in his lap (in the wide, floppy hem of Impulse's shirt, which Etho is not looking at and certainly isn't jealous of). "Must be something big."

"Um." Etho didn't think he'd get this far. Maybe some part of him had still been operating on Yellow Etho instinct, because Yellow Etho wanders and bolts and flutters aimlessly around. He's grateful (maybe) that he opted not to put his chestplate on. He burrows his hands in the hem of his own shirt and kneads them together, much the way Bdubs is doing. "I just… need to talk. I'm having issues with my aggro. With Joel."

That gets Bdubs' attention. "Trouble in paradise? Oh, is this about the bite marks? I saw those. You know, I asked Joel at the pool party and he said you'd been hurting him just about every night. He seemed ready to kick you out. Take back his boat. Were those all from your aggro? He looked like he'd fallen in a pit of zombies!"

[...] "Um… I mean, I wouldn't say living with Joel is ever paradise… But I am having aggro problems. I can't… keep it down."

"I can go all night," Bdubs brags with a hand to his chest, and Impulse snorts on the landing above.

[... Etho] leaves down the hall to go clean. Bdubs follows him, leaving Impulse behind. As Etho starts scraping glass chunks together, Bdubs leans against the couch arm and shakes his head.

"I don't know why you get so worked up about it, Etho. Aggro's not gross. It's natural! We're all adults here; we've got needs! If Joel can't accept that, maybe he's not the right partner for you."

"I've been biting myself," Etho repeats, because Bdubs clearly got lost in the metaphor. Bdubs ignores him, tugging on the edge of his blindfold.

"Hey, there are plenty of salmon in the river. There are other husbands. I'll set you up. Grian and Scar are really going through it; do you like Scar?"

The glass makes a screeching sound as Etho scrapes it together with the broom. "Joel's not my husband." Etho doesn't know what relationship he and Joel are roleplaying. They're not roleplaying much of anything, which severely blurs the lines. Joel never did stop wearing Etho's shirt. He still does, and it's melded with the code of his current skin, and it's confusing and Etho never did ask. "He's my soulmate."

Bdubs shrugs, releasing the bandana. "If you're not comfortable… We could offer you a place to stay here. Impulse and I can put you up. You could join our polycule."

There's a shatter of glass in the kitchen. Followed by thumping palms on the counter, followed by an intake of breath. "Our. WHAT!?"

"Canadian Idiot"

The dogs. Oh, those stupid dogs. They snap at his heels as he tears through the pines as fast as his shoddy boots can take him. He lost one back in the river. He fell. Lost Impulse along the way- they're… they're separated now. Not in roleplay; not the marriage. The marriage is fine! Bdubs has the wedding oath clock on a gold chain around his neck, bouncing up and down against his chest with every flying step he takes. Impulse looked okay, though, like the 'maybe not drowning' kind of fine. He's not. Bdubs would feel it if he were drowning.

His crossbow bangs on every other tree trunk as he sprints across the snow. The dogs are freakin' everywhere. Is this all Pearl's been doing when they play? She never had a soulmate to cuddle up to, so she just kept breeding dogs? There's like a dozen of them, all with huge paws scooping the snow and flinging it behind them on every leap.

Gotta get outta the snow… Where's the- Where's this snowy forest end? I saw the drop-off just a second ago. The wolves prob'ly won't follow over the cliff. Bdubs has a water bucket. The dogs don't. And he'll let them fall. He will, maybe. He doesn't care- they're just stupid dogs. And he likes dogs, but these ones haven't been cuddly puppies in a long time. 

"Seeing Scarlet"

I don't need NOBODY'S social approval or permission. That's my husband. Still gets his tail wagging and everything, even if he doesn't show it. Gosh, isn't he a sweetie? He and Impulse don't always wear their rings, 'cuz it's not like that as often in the Between dimension now like it used to be, but it's… You know. It's still clocks and hugs and elbows in the chest, even if it's not all mwah-mwahs and low-roaming, backside-squeezing hands.

Well. Sometimes it is. I mean, why shouldn't it be? They both had fun. No one's mad at them for it. See, that's the lovely thing about Impulse- ain't he sweet? Bdubs can turn the roleplay on and off with him, and Impulse just goes along with everything. He's wonderful. It's a real shame there aren't more Impulses, because everyone deserves to hang out with him from time to time.

Bdubs tries to find a better place to stand where he's not getting pushed at and stepped on. Not that he can feel it, but it's the principle of the thing. Since he is one of the two shortest in their gang (though he's loath to admit it), maybe he needs a place near the front.

He pushes forward. Souls blur together, blue and overlapping, and the glowing doesn't help with the identity stuff like at all. He can pick out Tango (facing away from him) by the enormous white gash scarred down his right shoulder. Not pointing fingers, but that one's a Bdubs original. You're welcome for helping you look so cool, you're turning heads.

"The Man He Sets His Spawn With"

Impulse keeps breathing. His chest heaves, eyes unraveling Bdubs' entire code and piecing him together again. His gaze dips low, then lifts like a boat at sea. His fingers clench tighter around the sword hilt, which rattles like broken glass in his hand.

"… If I kill you, you just respawn… and I've broken the rules. I'll get in trouble. That's not what I want." Impulse recites it like he's explaining all of this to his first-year self. One hand claws through Bdubs' hair, feeling for… something? It pulls. He's silent. Bdubs keeps breathing too. Then Impulse dips the sword tip lower, against the bobbing spot of his throat. He's really leaning forward funny to get the angle. Maybe 'cuz he's a slime, he's sticky and won't fall. Maybe he's got perma-crouched benefits. Maybe perma-Swift Sneak. At least he's blocking most the rain. Then Impulse whispers, "I think this… isn't how I fix this. Maybe we can just… talk about what happened in 3rd Life? About the betrayal?"

Bdubs gawks up at him, bleeding horror out from every shake. "Can't you just kill me?"

Sparks dribble from Impulse's cheeks, mingled with lightning static and slime blobs and the rain. He's still clutching Bdubs' hair, the sword all too tight against his neck. "Just apologize for betraying me! We were Day 1 alliance in 3rd Life- You, me, and Cleo!"

"Yeah? And I was Cleo's dearly devoted husband back then, and you our 'secret girlfriend' who wanted to get under the armor of everybody on the server; what's your point, Littlefinger?" Bdubs jabs a finger up at him. "Do you want a Get Well Soon card or something? Maybe a care package? A subscription to the Mod of the Month club?"

Dog's Life - Chapter 19

Bdubs paces between them, pulling the throat of his mossy cloak over and over again. A classy gold clock bounces on his hip. "You… you can't do that! You outrank her! This is- Oh, this is gonna be big… This is gonna be the biggest thing people talk about for months. You're getting fed by someone you outrank… Oh, wait 'til BigB finds out about this. Heck, wait 'til the rest of the flock finds out! They're gonna be all over you!" He throws his hands in the air- "Is everybody breaking rules today?"

Aw, geez… Martyn bristles. Cleo shuffles out of the way. "I'm hungry." It's a statement, not a whine. Did he forget I needed food tonight?

Bdubs shoots him a look of pure disgust, his nose all squashed and lip hooked high. "So? Go hunt something. I hunted tonight, and I don't even have wings. Cleo too! It's not like it's hard."

"Bdubs-" Cleo cuts in, but neither looks at her. Martyn flaps out his wings, but Bdubs stays stubborn and glowering all the while.

"Are you gonna watch the eggs while I do that?"

Bdubs laughs. It's a cackle, edged with ribbons of the infamous phantom shriek. He throws back his head. "Freakin' no! I'm not putting in the work just so you get credit for it!"

Dog's Life - Chapter 21

And a bonus sneak peek of this jungle duo scene coming in Dog's Life Chapter 61 (Give or take):

“That’s okay. I’m proud of you for trying. Do you want more?”

Grian shakes his head, pushing his plate across the table. “I shouldn’t. I’m an omnivore; I can eat other things. Anivores eat first. Isn’t that proper?”

“You don’t have to eat it,” Bdubs tells him, pushing the plate back. “But phantoms, we say the souls of insects are for the birds. It’s your right as much as mine. All predators can eat the prey. It’s the abandoned things that get snapped up by phantomkind.”

“Yeah, but I don’t need it.”

“Does your hunger meter fill when you eat souls?”

“That’s not the point.”

Bdubs shrugs. He stabs his fork in another piece of soul, then brings it to his mouth. “More for me, then. But I’m serious, G… You should figure out what you want in life. Unlearn shame! Why deny yourself the things that make you happy?” He takes the soul, tines sliding past teeth, as Grian watches with interest from across the table, his head tilted to one side. Bdubs reaches out to take another piece, and Grian’s breathing gets a little stronger. By this point, Bdubs is standing just to lean, stretching over the table and taking scraps two or three pieces at a time with the stabbing trident tines. As he draws them to his mouth, fangs on display and saliva dripping, he meets Grian’s wide eyes again. So the trident stalls.

“You want it, baby?”

“… Yes.”

===

Linda lowers her head towards the pool. With a yip of excitement, Impulse leaps past her teeth. He plunges straight in the water. Etho flinches back, wrapping tight to his mom’s paw. Fox kits can’t swim. Their legs are too small; their necks are too short. Maybe phantoms can? Impulse is so big, he can reach the bottom. He looks left and right, like he’s not sure what to make of it… at least not while using a body. He takes a bite of water. Etho lifts his pleading eyes to Charlotte, who doesn’t move a muscle. Her eyes don’t leave the back of Linda’s head for a second. “I think there’s been a misunderstanding. I’m not calling your parenting ineffective- I just think maybe there are some improvements I could help with! I mean, you stay down here in this dusky cave all the time, you don’t see the sun all that much, you’re probably not feeding them too well-” Linda’s response is a long, low growl. Her wings stretch wider, blocking not just Impulse, but the whole pool in one stretch. Protective. “Mom?” Etho whispers, shrinking farther behind her fluffy leg. “Mommy’s talking, sweetie.”

- Newborn Impulse's nameday (From a multi-chapter called "Under Gravity" I realized it was smarter to split into one-shots)

“Mm,” says Scott, reaching up to cup his cheek. Bdubs lets him, even though it means letting that hand slip from his own. Scott’s touch is warm as freshly brewed tea. “Couldn’t have done any of this if you didn’t start a flock. You really are amazing, Bdubs. You’re always on the clock… I don’t thank you for your hard work enough.” “That’s right! I deserve rewards! … I would do anything to keep this city safe, Mr. Mayor. I’d run the canal a thousand times a day.” “I would never ask that of you,” Scott murmurs, brushing his knuckles down Bdubs’ cheek this time. He gives a grimace. “Elections are coming; debates are next week. And if I’m not mayor after that? What then?”

- Dog's Life - Chapter 46 ("Scatter by Sunset")

“I’ve been thinking about it,” Joel goes on, holding up his hands like parallel lines of rail. “You seem really happy as a Clocker? And I mean, you don’t date Cleo outside of roleplay. Right?” “Cleo and I only roleplay our marriage and divorce,” Etho dutifully reports, which cannot be proved a lie if Cleo isn’t here to vouch against it, and everything inside his system is screaming Oh man, oh snap, ohhhh no. Danger Will Robinson. Danger. Danger. I messed up. He can’t let Joel into his bedroom. He’ll see Scarlett. But he can still turn this around; he can still pull this off. “Yeah, so… If we do it like that, maybe I could be your second Cleo.” It’s a question, even when it’s declarative. Etho holds steady, staring upward, even when Joel’s fingers brush against his temple and the upper lip of his mask. “Honestly, it might be fun… but I’m not sure it’s the right block for it. It’s a little soon…” “What do you mean ‘soon?’ It’s been a hundred bloody years since Double Life, Eefo!” “Maybe for you… It’s about 7 for me.” “Well, whatever.” NOT ‘whatever.’ It matters.

- Dog's Life - "Rekindle"

“Do you think you can walk?” “Yeah…” Martyn takes his hand back from hers. He wipes it on his shirt, then immediately regrets doing that while she watched. He didn’t think her dirty, although gravel on her hand suggested she’d been creeping around the streets in search of easy prey. Maybe there are rules against eating someone in a panic attack. Oh, wait. I’m a phantom. I’m protected anyway. He braces his weight on his hands and fights to stand, only to realize - too late - that he certainly can’t. Out of sync. Wobbly legs betray him, dumping him on his face. “We can just sit,” Cleo says, watching him clumsily try to act like that didn’t just happen. Martyn can’t think of anything clever to say, so he just sputters something like “Yeah, let’s,” and sits back where he was. This time, he wraps his arms around his knees instead of holding her hand.

- "Chalaza"

“I just wanna get to know you better, right? You’re my roommate until further notice.” “My intentions are not to entertain you.” Joel ignores that. “Do you have any OCs?” “Elaborate.” “Original characters. Creations made by you, but they’re alive. Wait, that is very non-specific.” “To create things that are alive is to curse them with a mirror of my own existence.” “Okay, um. When you make some, do… do you wanna ship them with Shrek with me, or-”

- Dog's Life - "Furnace"

1,000 lies flit through Scar’s eyes in that moment. And Grian wants to look away, stop gripping Scar so tightly with his fingers, but they’re frozen- bonded in that way that both allays and parrots are when they’ve found their match. But only one of these species is immune to taking damage from the partner they’ve sworn their loyalty to… and the other one, if he isn’t careful, will die with a croaking squawk every time. “You, Cub, Bdubs, and Mumbo are my best friends-” “That’s not what I asked, Scar.”

- Dog's Life - "Watcher 3" (?)

Bdubs whips into view on the other side, ducking under Cleo’s arm. “Treat!?” Oh, snap. He walked into- And didn’t- He shoots a pleading glance to Cleo, begging with pathetic fox kit eyes for her to relinquish him from the grips of roleplay so he can flee back down the hall. Scar and Bdubs can’t do it; they’re locked in until she gives the cue to end the game. Even if they had that authority, they clearly wouldn’t use it. The roleplay may be pretend, but the mischief in their shiny eyes is 100% real. Is that different in American numbers? Or do they only switch things around for temperature? It’s 212% real. Bdubs grabs his arm, pulling Etho forward so he stumbles through Cleo’s doorway. “What’d you bring me, huh?” “Uhh… A winning smile, charismatic wit, and the pleasure of my company.” “Yes!” Bdubs throws both hands in the air. “A three for three! Dad, can I play video games?” “Cleo… You haven’t given them the talk about how they are a video game?” Bdubs’ smile wipes clean away. “What?”

- "Feeling Out Your Every Breath"

“I’m here to stay, Etho.” The words are instant in her mouth. Cleo runs her fingers across his forehead, pushing wild hair flops from his eyes. She pulls his head back just enough to make him squint against the lantern light. It’ll be easier to breathe if he looks upward, even if every part of his body is screaming at him to double over. He needs to keep loose… Keep his airways as relaxed and open as he can. “I’m your girlfriend. I want this to work. Deep breaths for me? I’m going to take your shirt off so I can see what I’m working with here.” Etho shakes his head, immediately curling in. Then he coughs, fighting for air, and it’s two minutes before she has him calm and breathing clear again. “Cleooo… I can’t. Soorry. Don’t look at me.” “Toughen up,” she says immediately, like she would for Martyn. But when Etho throws her a look of terror, she backtracks straightaway. “I mean… If I step out so you have privacy, can you yank the roots from your skin?” Etho’s eyes comb his sleeves. Then he looks at her again. “I have to, right? Or it gets worse?”

- "Top 10 Hanahaki Life Hacks (#8 Will Shock You)"

“Were I to unravel you… beneath all of this, you are a hand?” Etho’s long ears pin flat against his head, and he is ashamed. “It is as you say. I have built all that you have seen with my trickery and innovation.” “Then you have not shown me your true form.” The god begins to tremble. His eyes threaten golden tears, which mustn’t fall, for he will ruin his silks and die. “Do not ask this of me. To pierce this covering and expose ancient silk is to remove my status as a god. Without this cover, I would be nothing but a mangled hand cast aside after injury, for I belong to the god of sea and fire. I will either be punished and discarded, or he will claim me as a tool again. He will not fall for my tricks twice. You would bind me to him forever. Cleo, by the oath of our marriage, I swore I would do all I can to please you, but you cannot ask this of me. I would be no more.”

- "The Candles We Light (and Should Regret)"

At least I’m not undressed, she thought. Nightclothes were better than no clothes at all. She glides her hands from her neck upward, freeing ginger curls from where they’d tucked into the collar. She looks rumpled. The god of hearts and husbandry will have to deal with that. She crosses the room and jerks open the heavy door. Cleo catches one glimpse of the spirit standing with his hands folded behind his head before she averts her eyes to lush carpet. It’s the appropriate way to address a god who has not offered to let her stare. “I did not mean to disturb your rest, spirit, and especially not this late. Do your duties extend past sunset?” “Eh, little of Column A, little of Column B. The temple closes to outside prayers when the doors are drawn; those are collected by my acolytes come morning.” He points sideways with his thumb. “I can hear yours from all the way down the hall.” She tightens her lips, staring at the floor. “It was not expected you would answer. I did not consider it a prayer.” Martyn shrugs. “You’re inside my temple walls, and you asked for me. I have flown to your side to dote and fawn at your every command. Here I am.” She doubts his sincerity. “Surely,” she says, “there must be others who wish your presence more.” “Nope.”

- Untitled sequel to "Candles" in the Cupid/Psyche AU

Chalaza

Egg Crackers

💙  🧡  💚

Martyn is dead, but unfortunately, no one's had the chance to tell that to Martyn. Martyn's in a fishbowl. Well, like… Martyn's soul is in the fishbowl- his skin fell in the Void. Or maybe got vaporized? Not sure. He looks like glowing blue smoothie stuff, complete with weird sprinkle colors, but Bdubs is pretty sure Etho would strangle him if he tried putting Martyn in a cup. Can you get drunk on real souls like you can on raw binary code? Huh…

Nobody in New Star Station's ever seen nothing like this. Or if they have, they sure haven't said that to Bdubs. Etho said the guy's trying to fight a system overload - Martyn; Martyn's trying (Etho says) - but it sure is violent. Geez…

Every couple minutes, Martyn's consciousness seizes up like a kicked cat. It twirls around like mashed-together clay. You get a huge spiral. You might even get part of a face or a clawing hand. Bdubs has been carrying the fishbowl for two days, even to that way fancy restaurant Etho likes, because it's really cool and you get to show him off to so many people this way, and he gets to be all "Sorry- Etho said only I can hold him." And Etho's the best healer ever and he can fix anything, so it's going to be okay.

But… still, even if he looks cool, Martyn can't hold his form. He comes crashing down every time. So Martyn stays in the fishbowl, because it's better than a bucket, and frankly this was a stupid waste of glass a couple years ago and it's good to put it to some use now. Bdubs keeps chucking pieces of sausage in there because maybe Martyn'll like that, but so far it's just been Martyn and the sausage and the other sausage and the other other sausage in the bowl, and Etho's probably gonna slap him for that.

"This is the voidfish market," Bdubs says anyway, holding Martyn's fishbowl above his head. Oh- we skipped forward. It's Wednesday now and not much has changed. If Martyn's a soul, he maybe won't be able to see out his eyes. If he's got free-cam, then probably. It's complicated; Bdubs leaves all that coding stuff to Etho anyway. He gives the fishbowl a slight rattle, just to wake Martyn up. "I guess you already know this place, huh? You flew out of the Void! Like, what? I can't believe you found us! We're a secret underground portal hub, and you just flew right in from the bottom! I never even knew you could do that! Ohhh, Scott's gonna fix it. You watch. He'll figure it out; no one's ever getting in again. You're lucky, Martyn. You're so lucky."

Martyn rests like impossibly bright jam inside the bowl. He doesn't seem interested in the market. Huh. Oh well. Bdubs swivels on his heel and walks down the street, even though the bowl bonks his head on every step. See, it's funnier when you're like, talking to people all normal and suddenly Martyn lurches up and makes grabby claw hands before he falls into the bowl again. Pixels spurt and crackle like tiny, tiny fireworks. Maybe he can't respawn inside the bowl. Is it too small?

How much sand does it take to make a giant bowl? Hmm… And would it be weird to reuse a giant "soul bowl" for cereal at a later time? I mean, you don't wanna waste something like that. That's a lot of glass. It'd be washed first, obviously.

It's been like three days. Nobody's gotten close enough to put a skin on Martyn yet, so Bdubs can't even put a face to his name. Martyn's just a hissing, writhing mess of blue and dashes of white - He's all claws and wings and sometimes teeth or tail. But even if they had a skin tailored to fit him, how're they supposed to get it on him? This guy can't hold his form! The only reason they even know his name is Martyn is 'cuz that's what the new guy Jimmy called him, and Jimmy's having problems keeping his arm together, so it's just a party where everyone's in pain, huh?

"I could eat you," Bdubs says, just to make casual polite conversation. The streets down here in the underground are okay-crowded today, though most people back off when they see a phantom hybrid coming. This may also be 'cuz he just said he might eat somebody and people don't really assume that Martyn can hear them or even get that he's still alive. "My player file's in the server hub, right? So, y'know… I can cycle you through and you're s'posed to respawn just fine! My species' whole thing is stabilizing weird code like yours. Yours too! You're gonna join my flock, right? That'll be fun. A rest will make you less sleepy. You should let me eat you."

Martyn's soul doesn't do much unless he's thrashing around. You can kinda talk to him, but he's not much for conversation. Maybe he can't hear. He probably doesn't have ears. He can't seem to project enough conscious thoughts to signal anything to Bdubs' communicator- not even anything weird and panicky like "stop stop stop." He doesn't even swim around! Why's he in a fishbowl? That's stupid. Briefly, Bdubs debates dumping him in the town square fountain. Maybe cold water will wake him up. Maybe he needs more sausage.

"Oh, I've got an idea. Tango? You know Tango? You probably don't know Tango; you only saw him for like a sec before you melted, I heard. Yeah, I heard you crashed and went up in flames like two seconds after leaving the Void. Well, not flame, but you know what I mean. Hey, Tango's got this huge countertop! We should pour you on that and push a giant cookie cutter in you. Or maybe we should pour you inside a skin anyway and see what happens. I mean, skin's sticky on the inside, right? It's got… adhesion, or whatever."