pupilsĀ blownĀ wide,Ā Ā an intoxicatingĀ Ā hazeĀ Ā smoothsĀ theĀ Ā sharpĀ Ā edgesĀ ofĀ Ā hisĀ awareness,Ā Ā wrappingĀ themĀ inĀ Ā velvet.Ā theĀ burnĀ onĀ hisĀ Ā noseĀ isĀ Ā fresh, Ā theĀ faintĀ Ā stingĀ bitingĀ āĀ aĀ sensationĀ he'sĀ Ā longĀ stoppedĀ questioningĀ ,Ā Ā impulseĀ Ā andĀ Ā ritualĀ Ā tangledĀ Ā intoĀ one. Ā newĀ year'sĀ eveĀ pullsĀ allĀ hisĀ ghostsĀ intoĀ oneĀ place. inĀ Ā theĀ Ā bar'sĀ mirror,Ā Ā gunwooĀ Ā seesĀ hisĀ Ā reflectionĀ alongsideĀ hisĀ sister's, boundĀ togetherĀ byĀ theĀ sameĀ shadows. the line between past and present blurs as the pulseĀ Ā ofĀ theĀ Ā clubĀ lightsĀ carveĀ Ā hollowsĀ intoĀ hisĀ Ā cheekbones, Ā Ā shiftingĀ likeĀ Ā heāsĀ Ā beenĀ Ā pulledĀ Ā straightĀ outĀ Ā ofĀ someĀ Ā grainy, Ā Ā sepia-tonedĀ Ā memoryĀ Ā thatĀ neverĀ Ā quietĀ Ā let him go.Ā Ā Ā
hisĀ Ā handĀ Ā dragsĀ Ā throughĀ Ā hisĀ Ā hair,Ā Ā nailsĀ scrapingĀ Ā againstĀ Ā freshlyĀ Ā dyedĀ Ā scalp.Ā deliberate,Ā Ā likeĀ wreckingĀ Ā anĀ alreadyĀ ruinedĀ Ā canvas.Ā scratchingĀ toĀ feelĀ something sharper than guilt.Ā theĀ mirror'sĀ reflection blursĀ beforeĀ heĀ looksĀ away,Ā Ā unwilling to confront the face staring back at him. instead,Ā Ā he focusesĀ Ā onĀ jiha'sĀ glass.Ā hisĀ Ā fingersĀ curlĀ Ā aroundĀ Ā it, Ā goldĀ Ā ringsĀ Ā gleaming, Ā tooĀ Ā expensive forĀ theĀ Ā boyĀ Ā heĀ Ā usedĀ Ā toĀ Ā beĀ .Ā Ā Ā lipsĀ Ā meetĀ Ā theĀ rim,Ā Ā andĀ Ā heĀ drainsĀ Ā aĀ portion,Ā Ā chasingĀ downĀ theĀ Ā acridĀ Ā tangĀ Ā thatĀ Ā clingsĀ Ā toĀ theĀ Ā backĀ Ā ofĀ hisĀ Ā throat.Ā theĀ cocktailĀ isn't worth it,Ā and hisĀ Ā featuresĀ Ā twist,Ā Ā disdainĀ Ā flickering.Ā Ā āĀ ripĀ Ā off,Ā āĀ Ā gunwooĀ Ā complains,Ā Ā slidingĀ theĀ glassĀ Ā backĀ Ā towardĀ herĀ Ā withĀ aĀ petulantĀ gesture,Ā asĀ ifĀ theĀ entireĀ clubĀ isĀ inĀ on someĀ conspiracyĀ toĀ dullĀ hisĀ buzz.Ā the nariza bois are an unwelcome presence at the party, and seeing his sister celebrating the night with them, only adds to the weight in his chest . heĀ snorts, Ā runningĀ aĀ Ā thumbĀ overĀ Ā the edgeĀ ofĀ Ā the bar. āĀ well,Ā ā Ā heĀ continues,Ā voiceĀ Ā lightĀ ,Ā butĀ carryingĀ Ā theĀ Ā weightĀ Ā ofĀ Ā somethingĀ Ā heavier āĀ aĀ shadowĀ Ā ofĀ Ā regretĀ dressedĀ up asĀ indifferenceĀ .Ā Ā āĀ donātĀ Ā look Ā soĀ Ā thrilledĀ toĀ Ā seeĀ Ā me.Ā ā heĀ hardlyĀ remembersĀ lastĀ newĀ years',Ā butĀ someĀ thingsĀ never change, no matter how much he wants them to.