Half of the year has past, I would say its still going. I am still getting out of my slump. It is hard and a long road to get out but it is worth it. My goal hasnt change but things have been added and changed. There are things that I learned to like, things that I didnt know that I would like, and things that I knew that I would try and would never like. I am still learning and finding out my learning style. It is different now, back then is it easy to study no matter what I am doing I always had time to study and finish school work and had fun but now I cant. I could barely finish my task, I could barely focus on certain task but I am trying. I am motivated, but is not enough. I feel and I see that everyone around me is progressing but I am on a standstill. I am enjoying my life and my time but I do envy others.
I will not deny that. I do envy others but bot in a negative way. Like I said, I am in a slump that I am trying and still getting out of. I am enjoying my time with my family, with my son. I want to live my life as well as to find myself that I lost. My past self and present self is not clear on where we stand today. We are both looking at for a coming ground, I like both of them but both have to mature and let go some parts that are not healthy so we can move forward together and learn to be a better version together for the future.
As of right now, I am battling my laziness and redirecting my focus to get my career back on track. I know in my mind and heart that I can do this. I have worked on this for more than 10 years and I want to go to the next level so I can enjoy more and be more prepared in the future and for Kai's future.