you had never seen Rin this confident over something so stupid.
âitâs just a little shock machine,â he said, rolling his sleeves up like he was about to perform surgery. âhow bad could it be?â
you grinned, thumb hovering over the dial on the period pain simulator youâd bought online.
âyou sure about that, egoist?â
he gave you that side-eye glare, the one thatâs supposed to be intimidating, but his hair was messy and he was in sweats, so he looked more like an annoyed cat.
âjust start it already.â
he barely flinched.
âthatâs it?â he scoffed. âfeels like static.â
you smirked. âoh, weâre just getting started.â
his jaw tightened. his leg twitched.
ââŠalright, yeah, a little annoying,â he admitted through gritted teeth.
you leaned closer, fake innocence dripping from your voice. âoh? a little annoying? this is what I feel while walking, Rin.â
he shot you a sharp look, but then you turned the dial again.
his breath hitched. he grabbed at his stomach, muscles tensing.
âwhat theâ why does it feel likeââ
âcramps,â you said sweetly. âwelcome to the club, pretty boy.â
âturn it off,â he muttered.
âawww, already? weâre not even at day two of the cycle yet.â
you turned it up another notch.
he let out a strangled sound, somewhere between a growl and a gasp. his knuckles went white gripping the couch cushion. his face was pinkâwhether from pain or embarrassment, you couldnât tell.
âholyâ y/n! what is wrong with your body!?â he hissed through his teeth.
you laughed so hard you almost dropped your phone recording him. âours, actually. half the population, baby.â
âthis is inhumane,â he wheezed.
âand yet,â you said, leaning in to kiss his temple, âwe still go to work, school, and deal with you while feeling that.â
he slumped back, groaning as you finally turned the machine off. his hair stuck to his forehead, breath uneven.
you handed him water like a merciful goddess. âso⊠thoughts?â
he looked at you, eyes glassy with disbelief.
ââŠiâm never arguing with you about cramps again.â
you smiled triumphantly, patting his shoulder. âgood boy.â
âdonâtâ call meââ
but his voice cracked halfway through, and honestly? you couldnât help but laugh again.
you were bored.
nagi was too chill.
and thatâs how you ended up kneeling beside your couch with a period simulator and a grin that could only mean trouble.
he cracked an eye open, half-buried under your blanket.
âwhatâs that thingy?â
âa simulator,â you said innocently. âit lets you feel what cramps feel like.â
he blinked once. âwhy would anyone want that?â
âfor empathy,â you said.
he groaned. âsounds like effort.â
âit is,â you said cheerfully. âthatâs the point.â
you waved the pads at him. âcome on. just a few seconds. youâll understand me better.â
he stared blankly for a moment, then sighedâthe sigh of a man who knew resistance took more energy than surrender.
ââŠfine. but if i die, iâm haunting you.â
you attached the pads to his stomach and held up the remote like a game controller.
he blinked. âoh. buzz.â
click. level three.
âbuzzier..â
click. level five.
his face twitched.
ââŠokay, now itâs not chillâ
you tilted your head, all faux sweetness. âoh, but weâre just getting to the good part sei"
he jolted.
his hand flew to his stomach like youâd just shot him.
âWAH?! WHAT IS THISâWHY IS ITâHUHââ
you burst out laughing as he curled slightly, muttering to himself.
âit feels like my organs are trying to⊠play twister.â
âyeah,â you said
âthis is evil,â he deadpanned, glaring at you through a curtain of white hair. âyou live like this?â
âevery month.â
he just stared at you, wide-eyed, mouth slightly open, as if youâd just told him the sun was fake.
âSTOPâY/NâSTOP, STOPââ
he yelped, one hand clutching your wrist dramatically. âno more empathy! i get it! i get it!â
you turned it off, tears of laughter in your eyes.
he collapsed back onto the couch, legs twitching, expression blank.
âyou okay?â you teased.
âno thoughts. only pain,â he whispered.
you giggled, stroking his hair. âyouâre so dramatic.â
âno, iâm valid,â he mumbled, pulling your blanket back over his head.
you smirked. âso⊠still think iâm exaggerating when i say my cramps hurt?â
he groaned from under the blanket. ânever again. youâre a soldier. iâm a marshmallow.â
you leaned in close, smiling. âgood boy.â
he peeked out with one sleepy eye. ââŠdid i pass the test?â
âbarely,â you said.
âcool,â he murmured, already drifting back to sleep. âwake me up when your uterus forgives humanity.â
âyou know,â you said, grinning as you held up the tiny controller, âfor someone who claims to âunderstand women,â youâve never once tried to understand this.â
Reo raised an eyebrow, lounging on your bed like he owned it (which, honestly, he kinda did).
ââThisâ beingâŠ?â
you dangled the period pain simulator in front of him like a threat.
his lips curled into a confident little smirk.
âoh, that thing? please. how bad can it be?â
you knew that tone. the âIâve never suffered a day in my lifeâ tone. perfect.
âalright, big man,â you said, motioning for him to lift his shirt. âletâs see how tough you really are.â
âhuh,â he said, brows lifting slightly. âitâs like static.â
click. level three.
âokay, weird tingling. but manageable.â
click. level five.
his posture changedâshoulders tense, breath shallower.
âalright, starting to feel likeâuhâdeep⊠lightning?â
you bit your lip to hide your smile. âwanna stop?â
he scoffed. âno way. Iâm fine.â
âOHâholyâWHAT ISââ
he doubled over, gripping his stomach like someone had just punched him.
âY/Nâwhat the hell is this!? this isnât painâthis is torture!â
you snorted. âwelcome to the average day of existence, Reo.â
âhow are you still functioning right now?â he hissed, wincing as another wave hit.
âyears of experience,â you said, smug.
âthis canât be healthy!â he whined.
ânope! itâs just life, babe.â
âNO, WAITâSTOPâPLEASEââ
he gasped, clutching your arm dramatically. âIâLL BUY YOU ANYTHING. ANYTHING YOU WANT. JUSTâTURN IT OFF.â
you laughed so hard you could barely breathe.
ânot even money can save you now, Mikage.â
finally, you turned it off. he collapsed backward onto your pillows, arm draped over his eyes like a tragic shakespeare hero.
you poked his cheek. âyou alive?â
âbarely,â he muttered. âI saw mother nature.. she was mad, mad."
you smiled sweetly. âso⊠sympathy unlocked?â
he peeked at you with exhausted purple eyes.
âunlocked, maxed out, and Iâm making a donation to uterus research tomorrow..âyou snorted. âwhat a gentleman.â
he groaned softly, hand reaching for yours.
ânever doubt you again,â he said, squeezing it weakly. âyouâre built different, baby..â
âawww,â you teased, leaning down to kiss his forehead.
ânext time you get cramps, Iâm calling a nationla holiday,â he mumbled.
you sat cross-legged on the couch, holding the tiny silver period simulator remote like it was a controller in Blue Lock.
Isagi eyed it suspiciously, hair slightly messy, still in his training hoodie.
âso⊠youâre saying this thing makes you feel what cramps feel like?â
âyep.â
âwhy would anyone invent that?â
you grinned. âso men can stop saying âit canât hurt that bad.ââ
he raised his hands defensively. âhey, iâve never said that.â
âthen prove it,â you said, patting the seat beside you.
five minutes later, the pads were stuck to his abs and you were ready.
he tilted his head. âhuh. kinda likeâuhâwhen your stomach rumbles?â
click. level three.
ââŠokay, thatâs a bit weird. feels like I ate bad sushi.â
click. level five.
his brows furrowed, muscles tightening. âahâowâokay, okay, thatâs notâwhat isââ
you smirked. âstill not that bad?â
âno, no, itâs fine, i can handleââ
he snapped forward, gripping his stomach, eyes wide.
âWHAT IS THATâITâS LIKEâLIKE SOMETHINGâS CLENCHINGââ
âuh-huh,â you said sweetly. âtry living with that for a week.â
he let out a strained laugh that quickly turned into a whimper.
ânah, youâre kidding. no one canâowâfunction like this!â
âwe do!â you said, cheerfully evil. âschool, work, sports, cookingâeverything!â
âY/N, PLEASEâTIME OUT!â
he flopped sideways, face buried in your lap. âi surrender. iâll never complain about anything again. ever.â
you tried not to laugh as his voice came out all muffled and dramatic:
âyou guys are warriors. superhuman. divine beings.â
you snorted. âbit dramatic, arenât we?â
he glared up at you, teary-eyed and offended. âthis isnât drama, this is trauma.â
you finally turned it off. he sagged against you, breathing heavy, hair a mess.
âyou okay, champ?â you teased, stroking his hair.
âno,â he croaked. âbut iâve seen the truth.â
you raised an eyebrow. âand whatâs the truth?â
he sat up slowly, hand over his stomach like a fallen soldier.
âyou deserve a break of rest every month.â
you laughed so hard you nearly dropped the controller. âso next time i say i have crampsâ?â
he pointed weakly at you. âyou go to bed. i do everything. no arguments.â
âaww,â you said, kissing his cheek. âlook at you, learning empathy.â
he leaned into your touch with a small groan. âiâm learning pain. empathy came free with the suffering.â
youâre sitting on the bed, holding the lil period simulator remote like a villain w a master plan.
kaiserâs lounged back like heâs in a photoshoot, hair perf as always, smirk set to menace level 100.
âsooo this thing makes me feel ur little monthly cramps?â he says.
you blink. âlittle?â
he immediately corrects himself. âuhâi mean urâuhâalmighty womanly pain rituals.â
âbetter,â you said. ânow shut up and sit still, blondie.â
he scoffs. âoh. thatâs it? baby stuff.â
click. level 3.
âokay thatâsâhm. like static. cute.â
click. level 5.
his grin wobbles.
ââŠwait. okay. itâs like. crampy?â
you smirk. âoh we just gettin started, mein liebchen~â
he jerks.
âWHATâwhy does it feel like satanâs grabbin my intestines?!â
you cackle. âwelcome to my world, michael.â
âTHIS IS ILLEGAL!â he gasps, clutching his abs like heâs about to write a will.
ânah babe, this is called the menstrual cycl.â
âSTOPâY/NâWHY DOES UR BODY DO THISâTURN IT OFF TURN IT OFFFFââ
heâs legit pleading now, accent breaking mid-scream like a dying pop star.
you finally turn it off, tears in ur eyes from laughing.
kaiser collapses dramatically, one hand on his chest like âtell noa i loved him.â
âu alive?â you ask, still giggling.
âbarely,â he pants. âi saw god. she was disappointed.â
âsooo still think iâm being dramatic when i say i have cramps?â
he stares at u w glassy eyes. âno. i think ur a warrior. i think ur built different. i think u deserve 3 national holidays and free chocolate for life.â
âgood answer,â you say, patting his chest.
he sighs, still breathless. âif u ever need anythingâheating pads, massages, a new planetâiâll fund it.â
you smirk. âlove u when ur suffering.â
âunfair,â he mutters, rolling onto his side. âi was in pain.â
âyeah,â you grin, crawling next to him, âwelcome to womanhood, mr. emperor"
p.s: "it can't be THAT bad right?" BUZZZZ EHHHHHH WRONG ANSWERRRRR lmao this was fun :3