#celestial6

You say you hate me now, And you burn me with your words Callin' me a fool Saying that I've fucked up Everything, and you'll never forgive me Though I'm doin' this for you Baby, can't you see if there is such a thing Of loving someone so much that you need To give them time to let them breathe But you don't understand, I wish you understood Oh, I hope one day you do

I wish I could love you with no fear at all.

My father once told me: that I don’t know how to love That I love so violently and so carelessly I show my love in all the wrong ways by cutting holes and creating wounds in all the places I should be kissing And it’s true My love is the sickening kind My love is waking up at five in the morning Throwing up each feeling one after the other My love is lying awake At 3 am on the cold floor Trying to dig a hole to burry my soul in My love is beyond poison It does not stop at your throat It does not stop at your stomach It aims for your heart Sucking out every feeling you’ve got left My love’s hunger is the cruelest the greediest My love is what one never wishes for My love is an illness and there is no cure.

“I am not the first person you loved. You are not the first person I looked at with a mouthful of forevers. We have both known loss like the sharp edges of a knife. We have both lived with lips more scar tissue than skin. Our love came unannounced in the middle of the night. Our love came when we’d given up on asking love to come. I think that has to be part of its miracle. This is how we heal. I will kiss you like forgiveness. You will hold me like I’m hope. Our arms will bandage and we will press promises between us like flowers in a book. I will write sonnets to the salt of sweat on your skin. I will write novels to the scar of your nose. I will write a dictionary of all the words I have used trying to describe the way it feels to have finally, finally found you. And I will not be afraid of your scars. I know sometimes it’s still hard to let me see you in all your cracked perfection, but please know: whether it’s the days you burn more brilliant than the sun or the nights you collapse into my lap your body broken into a thousand questions, you are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I will love you when you are a still day. I will love you when you are a hurricane.”