#caveman mark

🪨 Stinky!! /derogatory. If he were a cartoon he'd constantly have green stink lines following him.

🪨 It's actually a miracle this caveman didn't rip all your limbs off as soon as he saw you on his turf.

🪨 Probably a Tarzan situation, maybe you were camping or something and came across him, or maybe you were actively looking for him. Whatever the situation is, he's not a fan of trespassers.

🪨 Give him Takis as a sign of peace and he'll probably spare you. Oh- and make sure to not talk or approach until he's done with the bag, he'll think you're trying to capture him.

🪨 Also no flash photography (he'll break your damn phone-).

🪨 And istg if you hold out Takis and go "pspspsps" you better hope he doesn't bite your fingers off.

🪨 After befriending him, he's kind of like a guard dog. Always by your side when you're wandering the forest, will twist an animal's head off if they even try to approach, he even barks.

🪨 He's definitely fascinated by you in some way, not your clothes, or the size of your hand against his, but you.

🪨 Every time you visit the first thing he does is aggressively sniff you, Y'know.. to see where you've been. If he smells food he gets excited because he thinks it's for him.

🪨 He also rubs himself against you and your stuff every time you visit, making sure everything with a sense of smell knows you're not for picking.

🪨 He doesn't take too kindly to your restrictive "clothes" so don't be pissed off when he rips apart any shirts or even pants you try to give him.

🪨 He doesn't really speak, he mostly grunts, except for "Hee" "Hoo" and "Annus". Maybe you could teach him more.

🪨 After a while he'll probably give you a nickname, and it'll be just a specific grunting noise or something that sounds close to a word, but it definitely won't be your name.

🪨 He can't cook the animals he captures so he has to eat them raw every time, please give him food :(

🪨 This mf with scarf down ANYTHING you give him (except the Takis). Uses his hands to eat, chews sloppily with his mouth open, but he also leaves no crumbs. What a gentleman!

🪨 DO NOT touch him unless he touches you first! You need that confirmation. If you don't wait and just touch him, he'll spin around and shout in your face.

🪨 Oddly enough, even though he doesn't like being touched first, he's also a cuddler. When it's dark and you're both by the fire, he snuggles up to you (mainly for warmth) and rests his chin on your shoulder.

🪨 He's a LOUD snorer. It's like a train call, just "HEAAAAAAAA-" but it turns out to be an unintentional defense mechanism, it scares everything else away.

🪨 For the safety of the people you plan to tell, don't tell them. Don't even post about it online, people will find him (he's still Mark and he's been missing for god knows how long).