#catmeowing

.𖥔 ݁ ˖𝔞𝔡𝔯𝔦𝔞𝔫 𝔠𝔥𝔞𝔰𝔢 𝔞𝔰 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔟𝔬𝔶𝔣𝔯𝔦𝔢𝔫𝔡.𖥔 ݁ ˖

( headcanons )

✎ A/N: tried to keep him in character as much as possible. use of y/n a few times. reader is gender neutral with no specific appearance or sexuality. the tense is all out of whack, sorry! thinking of making an actual fanfic with him, but not sure. let me know if you’d be interested in reading that, and feel free to send me ideas. my inbox is dryer than a desert lol. anyways, enjoy!! ♡

♡ adrian chase is not your typical boyfriend, that’s for certain. it was a long and confusing experience to even to get to this point.

♡ despite what may be expected from an onlookers first glance at the pair of you, adrian actually did not immediately like you when he first met you. the clinginess took a while to achieve.

♡ he’s a sweetheart and he loves to socialize, but he’s also very suspicious and territorial, especially about his friends — which you met him through.

♡ he wasn’t rude to you by any means, just very curious, insanely blunt, and a little odd and offputting.

♡ he wanted to know where you came from, how did you get involved with the group? what are your qualifications? are you a criminal? do you have a criminal record? what’s your favorite color? is it teal? why is it not teal? you have a terrible taste in colors.

♡ adrian will mostly just talk to whoever will listen. even if they’re not listening and just tolerating his presence.

♡ one of the first things adrian noticed that he liked about you was that you actually did listen. whenever he got scolded by everyone else for rambling while they were trying to work, he would settle for you last. he didn’t choose you first hardly ever because he didn’t know you as well, but again, adrian would talk to a wall if it meant he could yap as long as he wanted to without disruption.

♡ he appreciated how you nodded along and asked him questions, and even remembered what he said.

♡ once he decided that you were his designated conversation target, you quickly rose up the ranks to being his third best friend, right under eagly. you didn’t know whether to be grateful that you meant almost as much as his idol peacemaker and his pet bird, or to be slightly insulted that he still liked a bird more than you.

♡ from then on he was always around you. despite chris being his unreciprocated best friend, you never told him to shut up or leave you alone so now you have to babysit him 24/7.

♡ the longer he was around you, the more he began to like you. he liked your laugh. you laughed at him a lot. you were the only one to find his jokes funny. he started to purposefully do and say silly things just to make you laugh. a lot of it was in fact not funny, but his excitement was endearing and did make you smile.

♡ whenever you talked about your shared interests or introduced him to yours, he thought you were the coolest person ever. he committed everything you told him to memory. if you liked a game, he was either gonna play it or learn everything about it so you could talk about it together.

♡ eventually your on-the-job conversations became all day and all night conversations. he began to privately text you —with the number you had added to the eleventh street kids group chat — constantly. if he couldn’t sleep, he’s texting you. if he saw someting cool, you’re getting texted. if he did something cool your phone is gonna explode from text notifications.

♡ eventually you get so close (still bff #3 though) that he begins to visit your house. he actually invited himself, but who are you to decline his request to watch ice age together? and according to him his mother is an unhinged lunatic that scares away the visitors so it has to be at your house instead of his.

♡ he begins to talk about you constantly to anyone who will listen. “me and y/n did this…” “y/n told me that…” “do you want to see the spider picture i sent to y/n? they sent one back, too!”

♡ he was infatuated with you. his days revolved around talking to you. he wanted to hang out constantly. whether it was a mission, a night out on the weekend, a phone call or text, or just showing up uninvited at random because he missed you, adrian had to have you in his life somehow at least once a day.

♡ all the others tried to tell him it was a crush. he calmly explained that he didn’t get crushes. he doesn’t feel emotions like other people. he just liked you a lot. he likes all of his friends a lot. especially peacemaker. peacemaker is his best friend and always will be. *insert eye roll from chris*

♡ after a while of watching him blatantly yet obliviously flirt with you, adebayo pulls him to the side and sits him down for a chat. she asks him questions about what he thinks of you and how you make him feel. she then has to explain to him a solid three times that there are indeed differences to how he feels about you versus other group members. sure he has differing opinions about everyone, that’s normal, but the love that he is describing is different. he described feeling a little stronger about you than the others, even chris. he sees the others platonically. as friends. he sees you romantically. he’s in love with you.

♡ that was news to adrian. his world was upside down. there’s no way he loves you! he cant! he didn’t even know that he did. how can you not know yourself? you cant! you’re the only person that knows yourself, duh! common sense!

♡ unfortunately for him, now that he was aware of it, he couldn’t just ignore it. it’s like it manifested itself into existence. he did like your laugh. he did like talking to you. he did like being around you. you were kinda cute, too.

♡ instead of just asking you out like a normal person, because that wouldn’t be adrian, he began to be even more weird than usual. almost like he was acting out a riddle.

♡ he’s stiff and awkward around you. he laughs too much at everything you say. he’s being really suspicious and handing you rocks that he found on the ground because “penguins give their partners rocks.” you don’t understand if he means partner as in friend in cowboy terms or a romantic relationship.

♡ now he’s asking everyone for advice. how does he know you’ll like him back? should he act in a specific way? should he do his butt dance to woo you like a male bird trying to acquire a mate? why was that a stupid question?

♡ after embarrassing himself a few times with bad advice from chris, he decides to listen to ads and harcourt and just ask you out.

♡ it’s the quietest you’ve ever seen him. he’s nervous and fidgety. he’s talking too much but he keeps having these long pauses like he’s so afraid he doesn’t know how to make his brain communicate with his mouth.

♡ after some gentle coaxing from you and a loud groan and “oh my god” from economos (who’s definitely not discretely snooping with the rest of the team hidden behind a wall) he toughs it out and tells you that he likes you now more than eagly and wants you to be his significant other. if you say yes, he’ll take you on the best date you’ve ever had at fennel fields and he can pay for it with his awesome employee discount so you can even get a dessert and you won’t have to worry about getting food poisoning because he’s seen the kitchen and it’s very sanitary. you agree.

♡ now that you’re in a relationship, he spared no time half moving into your house. he’s not staying permanently, but he’s welcome to when available. sadly, you live a good distance from fennel fields and he doesn’t want to have to wake up super early and drive all groggy to get there so he’ll just be visiting on his off days. plus, he’s worried that his mom will miss him and drive him insane with phone calls if he leaves her. he has a toothbrush, half his wardrobe and a few of his beanie babies and trinkets in your home now.

♡ he’s not cuddly. not when he’s awake, at least. if you want to touch adrian he has to be clothed, and you do too. he hates the feeling of skin. he doesn’t mind a hug if he’s in his armor or a sweater that muffles the contact, but if his skin is exposed don’t put your hands on him. you can give him a kiss though. he likes kisses. especially on his cheek. they make him blush. he may also allow hand holding if gloves are worn.

♡ you share an animal crossing island and he spends all your bells on the stupidest things imaginable. it drives you insane, but at least he’s happy. when hes away from you for long because of his home life or work, he’ll send you love letters through the nook inc. postal service.

♡ you’re still not his best friend, but you get the special title of best lover, and now a #2 ranking ahead of eagly.

♡ he’s a little dense at times but he’s so thrilled to talk about his hot partner any chance he gets. he’s especially thrilled when you show up to his work and he finally has evidence for his coworkers to believe that you are a real person.

♡ you are so happy to be together that it makes harcourt gag. that’s how you know your relationship is meant to be.

𝔥𝔬𝔪𝔢𝔩𝔞𝔫𝔡𝔢𝔯 𝔵 𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔡𝔢𝔯 𝔥𝔢𝔞𝔡𝔠𝔞𝔫𝔬𝔫s

A/N: this is my first time doing x reader headcanons so i sincerely apologize if they are out of character or badly written. i’m very new to writing fanfic and similar things. if there is any similarities to fanfics i promise i am not trying to plagiarize, i read a lot of them and some are imbedded into my brain so there may be a chance that i accidentally repeat someting i’ve read. these are just a collection of ideas i have about him. i do not condone any of his actions or beliefs, i just like the character. any comments, reblogs, asks, or likes are appreciated! :) and special thanks to my friend for the idea and helping me pick the icon i used for him. hope u enjoy!!

extra: reader is gender neutral, no use of y/n, no mention of any specific appearance or sexuality. not proofread, sorry!——————————————————————————

♡ dating america’s most important supe is not easy. it can be beautiful or ugly, sometimes a bit of both simultaneously. he’s both your dream man and worst nightmare all wrapped into one pretty and polished package.

♡ realistically, he never would’ve imagined actually settling down with someone. sure, he had a short fling with stormfront but that was different to this. where stormfront saw a god that needed to be shaped and refined, you saw a man that needed to be loved and cared for.

♡ it started off slow and awkward. you met him through your work. you began as an intern at vought and gradually worked your way up into an actual position. at first, he treated you like he treated every other employee. all smiles and charm the day that you met him, but gradually morphing into an impatient and mean manchild.

♡ most interns don’t last long enough to actually become part of the vought team, but miraculously you did because he grew to like you. you were different.

♡ you never pried into his personal life trying to make irritating small talk or cheer him up. he hated when people attempted to calm him, especially those he deemed below him. they didn’t understand him nor did they really care to, they just wanted to save themselves from his wrath. you, however, just quietly and calmly followed instructions and gave him space when it was clear he needed it.

♡ he quickly became interested in you. you didn’t seem to be afraid of him. not like others at least. you didn’t speak often, but you did reply whenever he spoke to you. you never sugarcoated what you said. if he asked you something you were always honest. you also appeared to actually listen to and absorb the information he shared with you. you didn’t fidget out of nervousness or stare at the floor or blindly agree to whatever he was saying. you actually paid attention and remembered details.

♡ he’s not a social person. (growing up in a lab will do that to people gods.) emotions and friendships create dependency which leads to loss of self which leads to weakness, and he will never allow himself to be weak again. yet, against his own will, he finds himself becoming attached to you. he wants to understand how your mind works. why aren’t you trembling under his icy gaze? don’t you know who you’re dealing with? why are you so honest with him? why do you act almost comfortable within his presence?

♡ since he decides that he’s interested in dissecting your personality, he’s allowed himself to be a little more genuine with you. he’ll begin by mentioning small things like the weather or coffee and asking you how you like yours. he tries his best to do it nonchalantly but he mentally keeps track of everything you tell him.

♡ once you’re in a steady rhythm of basic politeness to each other, he will start to talk to you constantly. venting about the team or how tired he is or whatever stupid thing ashley said that day that made him want to punch holes in the walls. he’s satisfied with your nodding as you listen. he doesn’t want advice or pity, he wants to be heard and correct and he appreciates you letting him blow off steam without challenging him.

♡ after months of subtly gathering information about your life and preferences from small talk, he’ll attempt to win you over without acknowledging it. if he goes to a networking event with ashley and it’s catered, he’ll bring you back a cupcake and brush it off as “you’ve been a good assistant.” if he notices your pen is running out of ink, he will find a box of new ones and almost forcefully shove them into your hands with a smile which is meant to be friendly but actually just looks creepy. when you thank him, he beams proudly and says that “it’s what he does.”

♡ he has decided that you’re more than an intern, you’re now his one and only assistant and because of that you get special treatment. he has threatened asked ashley to give you a higher ranking within the company and now you have to follow him everywhere. you come with him to galas, sit behind the scenes of his interviews, accompany him to charity events and sometimes have to be included in his “candid” photoshoots.

♡ if you take a lunch break and he has nothing to do, he will search the entire building for you and sit with you, talking your head off the whole time. he comes in and immediately lies saying that he forgot something or needs to check on some paperwork or something that’s obviously untrue, and then sits down and starts his daily rant.

♡ if you offer him some of your lunch, he will look at you like you just grew a second head. he is a picky eater. he only eats the highest quality food from the most expensive restaurants in new york. but he will stiffly accept whatever you give him and try it. even if he doesn’t like it, he’s so touched by the fact that you shared with him that he will express gratitude and maybe even go into a stunned silence as he chews.

♡ he’s like a stray puppy. since you’ve fed him half your lunch sandwich, you’re now bonded for life. as you’re preparing to leave for the night he will nervously approach you hoping that you can’t sense the anxiety beneath the practiced smile and ask you if you would like to accompany him to dinner tonight. since you like sandwiches he wants to show you a really nice high end sandwich restaurant. when you eye him confusedly the smile falters slightly but quickly becomes realer and stronger when you agree.

♡ after a year of dating his true nature becomes apparent. he’s a sweet and loving boyfriend but his mood swings are violent and unpredictable.

♡ he never had anyone genuinely care about him so he will sometimes convince himself that you’re using him and lying about it or cheating on him in secret. he will never actually hurt you, but his words will.

♡ it takes a lot of patience and love to soothe him and reassure him that he has nothing to worry about. you understand him and his struggles and never use anything against him. you don’t bring up his past or his bad deeds. you only try to work with him and show him that where everything else may be fake, your relationship is very real.

♡ you never call him by his name. he hates his name. it was hard for him to even tell you what it was. instead you have nicknames for each other. you call him peep, like little bo peep from toy story because he’s blond and also leads the seven which is like his sheep. he thinks it’s cute even if it does grate on his nerves occasionally.

♡ he’s too stubborn to apologize when he picks a fight or falsely accuses you of something ridiculous, so instead he will silently gift you a present as a quiet apology and hope you can just move past it without bringing it up. if it was a particularly bad fight, he may write you an apology note but that’s only in rare cases.

♡ he’s not great at affection so he will shower you in attention and gifts even when you tell him that you’re tired or running out of room in the house to keep all the stuff he buys you.

♡ he likes that you’re nice to ryan, and is glad that you can give him better and more experienced advice than he can, even if he doesn’t express it directly. he feels no love for anyone or anything, except the two of you.

A/N: first post in a long while!! so sorry if this is ooc, i tried my best. gonna rewatch the show and hopefully i’ll get some fic ideas. let me know if you have any or any tips to improve the characterization. i love u all mwah x

𝖉𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖉𝖊𝖊𝖕 𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖈𝖆𝖓𝖔𝖓𝖘

♡ it is certainly not your intention to be won over by this man, nor is it his intention to win you over. (not at first.)

♡ it starts off like it does working with most of the seven. he’s cocky and ignores you, only wanting your feedback if it’s positive.

♡ he does not respect you. he’s gloating to you constantly, he doesn’t care about disrupting your work or inconveniencing you, and he does not spare your feelings at all. he will blatantly tell you if he finds you attractive or not completely out of the blue. his misogynistic and borderline creepy remarks are a constant.

♡ this guy has a tier list of the most ‘smashable’ employees ranked by his preferences. he is not interested in romance in the slightest. not outwardly at least. deep down he craves affection and acceptance, but he doesn’t believe he’s capable of receiving that. not from humans at least. he does all he can to bury that desire— after all, that’s **so** not manly of him. what would homelander think? homelander wouldn’t tolerate a needy pathetic loverboy. the seven needs ruthlessness! besides, he’s got all the money, fame, and chicks at his feet that he could ask for.

♡ the more time you spend working with him (or trying to… he’s infamously terrible to work with) he becomes increasingly more annoying, trying and failing to hide the fact that he’s genuinely desperate for your approval. if you give him even the slightest bit, he is greedy. like a stray dog being fed scraps, he always returns, more eager than the last time.

♡ he’ll try to play it off by saying that you work together and you haven’t quit or been fired yet so it only makes sense to get to know you, but he’s around you wayyyy more than the job requires him to be.

♡ he knows you probably only listen to his rants because you have to, but he’s happy that you’re listening regardless. the others just walk away or shut him down.

♡ with all the random sea knowledge he has, you can’t help but gradually become interested. for someone so shockingly stupid, he sure is knowledgeable and passionate about this one subject.

♡ it’s strangely endearing to you how when you begin to ask questions and remember his sea friends that his face lights up with delight. when he’s not being gross, he’s actually kinda pleasant to be around.

♡ once you’ve shown him that you somewhat listen to him, he’s already attached himself to you. he’s searching for you in the building. he’s showing off in front of you. he’s begging you to meet his sea friends or come with him to the pool so you can watch his new trick (and you better clap and tell him good job or his mood instantly drops. if he doesn’t get visible or verbal approval, if not both, he has failed you and is overthinking it with all 3 of his functioning brain cells)

♡ he has to show you his aquarium and do a formal introduction for every single specimen that’s in there. and you best believe he had a long talk with them prior about what he should do and say to woo you.

♡ he likes to give you things. a pretty shell he found. a sand dollar. he will take you to the beach and make the sea creatures perform a spectacle for you. he’s very into gift giving, acts of service and quality time.

♡ once you agree to date him, he is ecstatic. everybody has to know. he’s going around the tower, forcing you along and embarrassing you by proudly announcing to everyone that he has a hot partner and you match his freak his so well. he’s probably gonna get clowned later, you can already tell, but it’s a sweet gesture and you’re glad he’s so devoted.

♡ he is intensely jealous. you better not speak to any other guy for too long or he will become insecure. you need to constantly tell him that you love him and he’s handsome and he’s doing great. he won’t ask directly, but he’ll hint at it so much that it becomes routine for you.

♡ he’ll try to stand up for you. no one else is gonna give you crap. he’s gonna find a way to make someone else do your work so you can follow him around all day.

♡ when you start dating him, you help him fall in line, which makes homelander slightly less hostile to you. if he has an issue with deep, he’s telling you and he fully expects you to fix it. for some reason things only stick in deep’s head if they come from your mouth. plus, you keep deep occupied and away from him. if homelander could make connections, you’d be his favorite person, too, for getting deep out of his sight.

♡ despite all that he’s done, you have the power to make him a better man, and you do. he truly loves you. :)

𝓂𝒶𝓀𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓅𝓇𝑒𝓉𝓉𝓎;

dean winchester x reader

A/N: a silly fluff fic that gets weirdly angsty at moments. i tried to keep it lighthearted but my brain had other plans. a few brief mentions of sam. reader is gender neutral but uses makeup. no mention of race or sexuality. i wanted to keep it inclusive so reader doesn’t use their foundation on dean, instead they just put it to the side. can be read as platonic or romantic but reads better as the reader having a crush on dean. not proofread, probably grammatical errors, feel free to correct me.

details: horrible weather, unbearable boredom, and a perfect model right beside you.

・・・・☆・・・・☆ ・・・・・・☆・・・・☆ ・

boredom was not strong enough of a word to describe how you felt right now.

the motel room was dark and cold, illuminated only by the faint glow of the ancient television in the center of the room and the blue lights that flickered atop the air conditioner. you sat on one bed side by side next to dean with your legs in his lap and head against his shoulder as you both listened to the weather man drone on and on about how terrible the weather is right now.

it was some kind of storm, a powerful one. outside the window the world is swallowed by darkness due to the absence of sun caused by the downpour of rain and the earth shaking thunder. the roads are closed, businesses are temporarily shut down and most homes and shops have lost power. luckily, the motel—despite being the most outdated and cheap place dean could’ve possibly picked—has a reliable generator.

you both silently continue to absentmindedly half watch the weather report while sam snores loudly on the other bed. you glance over at dean who is staring directly at the flickering tv with the most blank, thoughtless face you’ve ever witnessed. you wouldn’t be surprised if he was drooling.

usually, being cooped up for so long makes dean antsy. he cannot stand having to remain in one place for an extended period of time. too much to do, too much to see, and too much rest makes you lazy. blah blah blah. he always has a lecture prepared to combat any kind of relaxation that you rarely get. so for him to be sitting here, as silent as a church mouse, is very peculiar. he’s uncharacteristically quiet.

“dean, are you okay? are you sleeping with your eyes open? it’s creepy as hell,” you say softly, leaning in a bit to get a better look at him.

“obviously i’m not asleep. when have you ever seen me sleep with my eyes open? i’m not a weirdo. i’m not sam.” dean says, adjusting himself slightly. “and have you ever heard of personal space?” he huffs, although there isn’t any noticeable discomfort in his tone.

ah. there it is. there’s the restlessness. he always gets sarcastic and defensive when he feels caged.

“i have, i just choose to disregard it sometimes. it’s cold in here.” you wrap your arm around his other shoulder and smirk at him.

“then get a blanket.” he says, raising his brows. you smile wider and use your free hand to gently pat his cheek. for a guy, dean has weirdly perfect skin. you’d once asked him what products he used in his skincare routine. he had paused what he was doing and turned to you with a flabbergasted expression before responding, “routine? what do i look like, the queen? i use whatever soap is available.”

it was one of the many things you noticed and loved about dean. he was an interesting person both inwardly and outwardly. he was selfless, brave, funny, more intelligent than he gave himself credit for, and strikingly handsome, which he was unfortunately aware of.

“quit being so lovey dovey. we’re not in a romcom.” he grunts as he swats your hand away.

despite his stubbornness, you are not discouraged from being clingy. you loved your boys and so you took any opportunity that you were presented to show them, even if they moaned and groaned about it. it was an open secret that they all loved it, despite their protests. even castiel. you smile harder. there are very few things you enjoy more in the world than playful banter with dean. he always has a quick comeback, and you enjoy being kept on your toes. it was a bonus that he made you laugh. lightheartedness was hard to come by in your line of work. there was never really any actual sense of comfort in the hunting business, but you got traces of it with dean.

maybe this storm isn’t so bad.

“why are you making heart eyes at me? was there some kind of love potion in that macaroni and cheese cup you ate earlier? like seriously, dude, what’s wrong with you today?”

you laugh. “i love you, dean.”

now he’s surprised and visibly confused. he’s not too sure how to respond to that one. he observes you with a perplexed expression, mentally debating whether you’re being sarcastic or actually professing feelings for him. you watch as the gears turn in his head.

he’s so pretty. his eyes are a beautiful shade of emerald green in the reflection of the tv, with their long, dark eyelashes that flutter so dreamily when he blinks. his eyebrows frame his face perfectly. he has faint but adorable freckles that you can’t help but admire ever since you’ve noticed them. his lips are plump and his nose is cute. his facial structure is sharp and defined. he has great features. if he wasn’t a hunter he could easily be a male model. he’d be a stylists dream.

“oh my gosh,” you exclaim excitedly, lifting your head from his shoulder to hold his face in both of your hands. “i know what we can do to pass the time!”

he blinks, opening his mouth to speak. you cut him off.

“let me do your makeup.”

his face scrunches up with disdain immediately.

“no, no, no. big no.” he shakes his head. “not gonna happen.”

“why not? come on, dean,” you plead while removing your hands from his face and latching them onto his shoulders instead.

“nope.”

“please, dean. please. it’s not like we can go anywhere. and you can wipe it all off right after. i swear.”

“and why should i agree to this?” he tilts his head slightly at you, brows creasing.

“because it will give us something to do other than being bored and listening to sam huff and puff until he blows the motel down. and it’s not permanent. come on, dean. plus, i do stuff for you all the time. i make sure to get you your pie because sam always forgets. i never forget. do me this one favor.”

he exhales through his nose and closes his eyes weighing his options. after a few seconds, he’s back and is studying your face. he begrudgingly relents.

“fine.”

you throw your hands up and squeal happily before you hear sam stir a bit across the room and quickly cover your mouth. you watch him for a few seconds as he rolls over and falls back asleep. once that’s over you whip back around to face dean and grin whispering a quiet yet overjoyed “yay!”

-

“sit on the counter. or toilet lid. dont sit on the tub. you might fall back and break your brittle bones.”

“ha ha. so funny.” dean rolls his eyes. “i can still get up and walk out right now.”

you place your makeup bag on the end of the counter closest to you as dean settles on the toilet lid and then turn to the doorknob and lock it.

“not today you won’t.” you reply smugly.

dean tries to stifle a smile as you begin to lay out your supplies. he’s obviously very excited to be getting the makeover treatment but wants so badly to look like he’s bothered by it. it’s almost charming how terrible of a liar he is when it comes to silly things like this.

“woah. all that? you put all that on your face?” he says with wide eyes as you place down an array of products.

“duh. you think i just miraculously look flawless after putting on mascara?”

“you have to paint skin on?” he’s utterly baffled as he picks up your foundation and reads the label. he quickly spots your eyelash curler and abandons the foundation bottle to gawk at that instead.

“what on earth is this torture device?” he squeezes the handles watching the top part clamp down on nothing.

“that’s for your eyes.”

“for my EYES?!”

you laugh at the look of pure horror that’s etched into his pretty face.

“well, not your eyeballs. your lashes. it makes them curl upward so they’re noticeable.”

“oh. okay. phew. i was getting worried.”

you walk over to him, primer in hand, and grab his chin, lightly tipping his face upwards.

“listen. it’s going to be sticky. it’s going to be cold. no wiping it off. if you wipe it off, i will wipe you out. and that’s not a threat, it’s a promise.”

dean smiles at you. your heartbeat quickens a bit but you don’t show it. that’s the one good thing about being a hunter. you have an excellent poker face.

you put a few dots of primer on your fingers and begin to work it into his skin. he hisses like you’re pouring acid on him.

“cold,” he says trying to fight himself to stay in position and not move out of your hands. his eyes are tightly squeezed shut.

“oh my goodness, dean. you’ve been through worse. infinitely worse. a little bit of cold is nothing for you.”

he grumbles something incoherent as you place down the primer and pick up your concealer and a sponge in its place. you pat the concealer into the skin around his brow and eye area.

“you don’t really need foundation so i’ll just focus on the rest.” you explain as you work the sponge around. “unsqueeze your eyes please, good sir.”

he obeys, albeit slowly, and allows you to gently conceal his eyelids.

“this feels weird. you do this everyday?”

“depends. sometimes i’ll do a full face, sometimes just light coverage, and sometimes i cant be bothered at all. all comes back to my mood and the amount of time i have to spend. keep them closed.”

you grab some eyeshadow and a shadow brush and begin to apply it. you choose the color green, a dark and smokey forest green, because he likes that one and it will make his eyes brighter. you blend it softly, adding complimentary shades to make it look fancy.

he’s slightly squirming under your hand, giving his all to combatting a giggle that’s bubbling up in his throat.

“ticklish?”

“yes,” he smiles.

at this point he’s not even trying to hide the fact that he’s having fun. he’s thrown the whole tough guy act out of the window completely. it’s a bittersweet sight. on one hand, you’re delighted that he’s allowing you to do this. any moment with dean is a memorable moment, and you especially like remembering him so happy and carefree like this. but on the other hand, it’s a scarce thing to come across this dean. he’s been so worn from trauma and hardship that it makes tears threaten to prickle in your eyes when you get fleeting moments of the sweet and hopeful man he used to be before all of this.

“eyebrow time!” you chirp a little too enthusiastically trying to shake that depressing thought out of your mind. you grab your brow gel and your pen and brush and get to work. you neaten his thick hair by brushing and gelling it into place and then fill in the small gaps.

“can i look?” he asks, still patiently sitting with closed eyes.

“sure, but im not done. still got a few things to do.”

he excitedly opens his eyes as you hand him a small compact mirror.

“hey! green!” he beams.

the pang of sadness stabs you again. why cant he be happy like this forever?

“two more things. lashes and lips.”

his smile falters slightly. “do i have to use the curler? no offense, but i wouldn’t trust myself to use it on my own eyes much less somebody else using it for me. what if you pinch me? or worse..”

you shake your head. “we don’t have to use the curler. you have perfect lashes already anyway. i’m jealous. why do boys get the best lashes? so unfair. you guys don’t need them.”

you grab your mascara and hold his face again. “blink when i tell you. don’t move.”

you dip your wand into the tube and bring it out again. “okay. first coat. blink.”

he blinks and immediately gets poked in the eye.

“ow!” he pulls back.

“sorry. didn’t mean to do that. it’s hard to do on someone else. here, you do it.” you say apologetically and softly pat his head.

you hand him the tube. “just hold the end and put the bristly part on your lashes.”

he does as you tell him and gets mascara all underneath his eyes. you take the mascara from him and clean up his bottom lash line with a wet cotton swab.

lastly, the lips.

you grab your lipliner, a nude brownish pink, and trace his mouth. he is so still he is hardly breathing. it’s really endearing but you ignore it to focus on the task at hand.

after lining, you apply the matching lipstick.

“smack your lips.”

he smacks them. “am i beautiful?” he raises a brow and smolders at you. that stupid blue steel face he does that he thinks is so hilarious. it is, but sometimes it irritates sam. it’s very funny to watch him do it when they’re arguing and he’s losing. if he has nothing better to counter with he makes the face and causes sam to curse at him for not taking the argument seriously.

“very beautiful, dean.” you admire him shamelessly. half from the perspective of an artist feeling pride about accomplishing a piece and half from a person that is overwhelmed by affection.

you’re both startled by a rough knocking sound against the door.

“are both of you in there? whatever, i don’t care, hurry up! nature calls.” sam says impatiently on the other side of the door. he must’ve just woken up.

“one second!” dean says quickly.

“not one second! out!”

dean looks at you with widened eyes.

“he’s gonna see me like this isn’t he?”

𝔥𝔬𝔪𝔢𝔩𝔞𝔫𝔡𝔢𝔯𝔴𝔢𝔢𝔫

A/N: hi again!! thank u all sm for the love on my first homelander post! i’ve decided to write an actual fic about him, and make it festive ^_^!! it took me a while to decide how i wanted this to go, and i kept having to try to overcome writers block, so i apologize if it didn’t live up to its potential. :(

details: ryan wants to go trick or treating so you have to bring your grumpy boyfriend along. fluff fic. some cursing.

desc: reader is female. no mention of race. homelander and ryan may be slightly ooc, but i try to avoid that as much as possible. lmk what u think :)

——————————————————————————

you’re standing in front of the bathroom mirror excitedly applying a layer of cherry red lipstick. you move the lipstick away from your lips and smack a few times, admiring your appearance. you’re dressed in an adorable ladybug costume, complete with a fluffy skirt, antenna headband, and a pair of wings.

it’s been ages since you’ve done this, but you’re thrilled as if it’s what you’ve looked forward to all year. usually you work on halloween, but not tonight.

for as long as you’ve had the job, it’s been a vought tradition to allow families to bring their kids to trick or treat and meet the seven. it’s one of the most anticipated events in new york, and it’s a huge success every year. the company takes it very seriously.

they go all out with professionally curated decorations, huge candybars, and small goodie bags filled with freebies. the kids love it. its great not only for publicity but also for reminding citizens that “vought cares about them” and “provides them the best trick or treat experience because is there anywhere safer than in the presence of your loved ones and america’s most trusted heroes?”

this year, however, for the first time since the tradition had begun, that is not happening.

since homelander has gotten full custody of ryan, he has made it his mission to give him the childhood that he could never have. it’s a sweet sentiment, especially from someone as cold and distant as your boyfriend. surprisingly true, too. from the day that he met ryan he tried as well as he knew how to be his best friend. so according to him, in order to fulfill ryan’s childhood dreams, he needs the night off to take ryan trick or treating for father and son bonding.

or at least that was the complete and total lie he fed to ashley and the media. in reality, he just didn’t want to do it and finally had an excuse not to.

it’s no secret that homelander despises almost everyone he meets, whether it be the company higher ups, fellow employees or fans, they treat him as if he is a mascot to be paraded around and overworked without any sort of consequence. almost as if he is an elastic band that they can pull and stretch without it losing shape. they continuously fail to realize, however, that sometimes when pulled too far elastic bands can snap. he’s burnt out from all the holidays and fan meet ups, and if he has to see another person in a cheap replica of his costume begging for his approval, he’s gonna lose the only small part of his mind that he’s been desperately clinging to.

he opens the door to the bathroom with a sour expression on his face. you turn to face him and smile sweetly.

“aww, you look nice.”

he’s stood in the door, scowling at you, in a blue baseball cap, a plain red tshirt and blue jacket, and a pair of blue jeans.

“i look fucking ridiculous!” he snaps. “i don’t understand why we have to do this. ryan wouldn’t mind missing out. it’s not like he’s used to it. we can buy him a bag of candy and eat it at home.”

you set the lipstick down and walk over to him, gently placing your hands on his shoulders.

“you don’t look ridiculous. you look very handsome. and besides, i think it would be good to socialize him with other kids his age. it’s not good for him to wander around the tower all day with only adults. plus, we can all hang out like a real family. nothing scripted or filmed for viewership or ratings. an actual non-broadcasted family outing.”

he stares at you silently for a moment as he processes what you said. he’s clearly not too thrilled that you have a point.

-

to say that he was miserable was an understatement. he was mad that he finally got to get out of the whole halloween ordeal and got roped back into it, and even madder that you were making him wear civilian clothes.

he hated wearing anything other than his homelander suit. you could never pinpoint exactly why, but you had some theories. maybe it was a sensory thing—he did have all those super senses— or perhaps a coping mechanism. he didn’t like being reminded that despite his status, underneath it all, was john who, whether or not he chooses to acknowledge it, is still just as human as everyone else. you tried to get him to match your costume, but he fought tooth and nail not to, so you had to convince him to at least wear something discrete.

it was a difficult debate, but like usual, you managed to reason with him by highlighting his own desires. if he didn’t want to have to deal with people fangirling over homelander, and he didn’t want to wear a ladybug costume, he could go as ‘just ryan’s dad,’ which luckily for you was cemented as a win the second ryan began to enthusiastically talk about how excited he was.

in order to avoid any potential paparazzi or true identity slip ups, you decided that the best way to go about the city was by walking, which logically, is perfect but physically is very draining.

you couldn’t fly, obviously, and if you rode with the chauffeur people could recognize the license plate and follow you, so walking was the most sensible option. the aching in your legs afterwards also adds to the authenticity of the experience which you wanted them to feel. you loved halloween as a kid and you wanted to love it now as an adult too.

you really hoped they would.

-

after a long session of planning how to exit the tower without eliciting suspicion, you all managed to make it out and into the city. the night air was freezing cold, made chillier by the strong gusts of wind.

you all walked side by side, down the sidewalks and into the suburbs. the streets were very busy, packed with people mingling with friends and going door to door with their candy baskets.

you shivered, holding ryan’s hand as he looked around. he was dressed as a ghost, a costume that he made himself (with your assistance), and was very proud of. he wanted someting easy and traditional that could also cover his face so he wouldn’t potentially draw any attention.

“okay, are you ready, buddy?” you ask, looking down at him. he peers up at you through his eye holes and then glances at the long line of kids in front of a house.

“i’m not so sure.” he says timidly.

“you’re gonna be fine. we’re gonna be with you. you just walk up and say ‘trick or treat’ and they put candy in your bag. it’s over as soon as it begins, and it’s not scary at all. i promise,” you reassure him gently.

he pauses for a moment and then decides that he wants to try. he pulls you along with him over to the line and waits patiently.

“are you kidding me?” homelander whispers sharply. “this long ass line for two melted reese’s cups?”

you shoot him a glare as if to say ‘don’t you dare discourage ryan’. he understands and quiets himself with an annoyed grumble.

eventually, you get to the front of the line. two grey haired elderly women dressed as witches are grabbing a few pieces of candy from a plastic cauldron.

“well hello there, dear.” they both smile. “we love your costume.” one says. “you don’t see many like that anymore. everyone wants to be something trendy instead of spooky.” one lady eyes you with a hint of judgement. she was not a fan of cute ladybugs it seems.

“and you sir, what are you?” one asks homelander.

his jaw tightens a bit as he forces a smile. “i’m just a parent today.” he quickly continues, “-uh- like usual.”

“hm.” they say, placing some candies in ryan’s bucket. “well, happy halloween.”

ryan thanks them and then begins leading you to the next house.

mid walk you feel something soft slide around your shoulders. you look over and see homelander placing his jacket around you. he’s doing a really poor job. it’s not even covering your arms, but you still find the unexpected gesture really nice.

“what’s this for?” you ask, smiling at him.

“i can hear your teeth clattering in your mouth and it’s driving me insane. why not take a cardigan or something? you watch the weather. you knew it would be cold.”

so much for a heartfelt moment.

-

after what felt like decades of going house to house, your legs were beginning to cramp. ryan’s bag was so full that it was too heavy for him to carry whilst also holding your hand so homelander was holding it, still without a trace of joy on his face.

“what’s that?” ryan asks, pointing to a haunted house.

“it’s a haunted house. you go in and they scare you.”

“can we try?”

you had a feeling that it would be a bad idea. he had made a lot of progress socially and confidence wise just from these few hours of going around trick or treating, but he wasn’t exactly adjusted just yet. ryan is a very sweet, shy kid. he likes to study for fun and he’s nervous around people and easily overwhelmed by his surroundings. he’s not exactly the poster child of bravery.

“well, i don’t know, buddy-“

“sure we can!” homelander beams, finally interested in something. you look over at him skeptically.

“what? he can do it. he’s strong. just like his dad. and it’ll help toughen him up. that’s why we brought him out here, right?” he says smugly.

“toughen me up?” ryan asks, getting ignored.

“that might have the opposite effect, though, john. it could scar him more than help him. he’s still small and he doesn’t do well with loud noises or flashing lights.”

“i think he should do it.”

“yeah, let me do it. i won’t get scared.” ryan tugs on your arm.

“you heard the boy. he can handle it.”

bad idea. terrible, terrible idea.

you begrudgingly relent and allow him to drag you in through the entrance. ryan in front of you and homelander on the side of you.

it’s eerily quiet. there’s no one to be seen and a fog machine is working overtime. it smells like dusty warehouse and sweat. the place is littered with random scary decorations. you walk past some flickering haunted mirrors, a room of fake monster babies in cribs, and some zombie mannequins around a dinner table eating a human mannequin.

so far so good. ryan has clenched your hand a few times, but he hasn’t verbally expressed fear so you’re counting it as a victory.

as you make your way to the exit, a really tall clown jumps out of a closet.

ryan screams like he’s been doused in gasoline and lit on fire. the scream is so loud that even the scare actor is startled. ryan reels back into your arms, his eyes watering visibly through the costume holes illuminated from the fake candles around the room.

the clown immediately drops the act, apologizing profusely. you reassure both ryan and the clown that it’s okay, while homelander glares.

you’re not sure if he’s glaring because the clown scared ryan, or because he was doing well and then got scared, or if he’s mad at you for allowing him to persuade you into bringing ryan into the haunted house. it could be any reason or all of them.

“let’s just go.” he says through gritted teeth.

you leave the haunted house, trying to soothe ryan as he hyperventilates.

“i told you this was a stupid idea. we should’ve stayed at home and just bought him some candy.”

you don’t know whether to be upset that he was right this time or mad at him for not having any faith or compassion. he’d been a total mood killer all night. it wasn’t your fault that ryan was scared of clowns. up until now he’d never even seen a clown. how were any of you supposed to know? plus, he was the one with super hearing and x ray vision. he could’ve warned you both about the closet clown.

“whatever. it’s over now. if we must, we’ll discuss it later. let’s just go and get some rest. my feet are tired anyway.” you say, trying to remain calm and poised.

“are you okay, ryan?” you ask softly.

he sniffles and nods.

-

you make it back to the tower. you head over to the bathroom to take off your makeup and change into your pajamas. ryan is doing the same in his room, and homelander is as well.

after you’ve changed you move to the living room couch. you peek inside of ryan’s candy bag that homelander discarded on the coffee table. you pick it up and bring it over to the kitchen, pouring it in a bowl. you bring the bowl back over to the coffee table and set it down.

soon, homelander joins you, wearing a plain tshirt and some plaid sleep shorts that you got him for christmas. he wasn’t a fan of pajamas but you made it a rule that he had to wear them anyway. no one was wandering around in their underwear. that’s awkward and inappropriate if an intern or ashley came to visit for some reason. they frequently had to come get him to do his tasks. the last thing they needed to be paired with his fury was a full view of his skin tight boxers.

you both sit on the couch in complete silence, gathering your thoughts and decompressing from the long night on the town. he flicks on the tv, surfing through the channels with no clear intention of a station.

you have an idea.

you stand up from your cushion on the couch and head over to ryan’s room. you softly knock on the door.

“hey man, you wanna watch a movie? it wont be scary. no clowns,” you ask, ear pressed to door.

silence.

“i guess so,” he says finally and you stand back as he opens the door.

you both join homelander on the couch.

“put on a halloween movie.” you tell him.

he inhales sharply. “which one?” he says, barely hiding his frustration. he must be tired from walking.

“a kids one. for ryan.”

he logs onto vought plus and picks a random animated movie about a vampire that had to live among humans and learn to appreciate their differences. ryan is satisfied.

you’re all huddled up, ryan in the middle. about twenty minutes into the movie, ryan is fast asleep. he has his feet in your lap with his head rested against homelander. that seems to soften him up.

you take that as the perfect opportunity to strike.

“thank you for agreeing to this even though you didn’t want to. besides all the hassle, it was nice. i think ryan liked it for the most part.”

he looks at you for a second and huffs, but his annoyance is no longer there. “i guess it was.”

you lean closer to him, careful not to crush sleeping ryan, and plant a soft kiss on his cheek. you really were grateful that he had come, and even more grateful that he didn’t make any kind of scene.

he sighs and stands up, lifting ryan into his arms.

“gonna bring him to his bed.”

you smile softly at the sight. despite his attitudes, he was really gentle when he wanted to be. and he always wanted to be good to ryan.

the night wasn’t what you expected, but it was an unforgettable experience nonetheless.

maybe next time will be better, if there is one.

you hope there will be.

𝖆𝖉𝖗𝖎𝖆𝖓 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖈𝖆𝖓𝖔𝖓𝖘

A/N: i tried. and dividers were taken from a post by @/kentpaws. lmk if u want them removed :)

☆ they had to learn to use and then implement tone tags into the messages in the eleventh street kids group chat after multiple instances of confusion and complaints from adrian. the group was initially against the idea since they felt understanding memes and emojis was common sense, but relented since adrian would not shut up about it.

☆ chris rarely ever goes to fennel fields alone or with a date because adrian has unintentionally killed the vibe a few times. there was one time where chris brought a date and halfway through the meal adrian decided to stop by and interrupt their conversation about whatever it was that was on his mind. he didn't leave until one of his coworkers dragged him away. chris could not apologize to the date enough and was deeply embarrassed. there was a seperate time when chris went alone because his dad was busy and he didn't feel like cooking and adrian came and sat, completely uninvited, in the booth with him. on the same side. shoulder to shoulder. you can imagine chris's reaction.

☆ adrian is jealous of harcourt 100%. even if its just a little. he will not admit it and he may even try to hide it, but it's there. why is peacemaker so infatuated with this woman? she's not his best friend. she doesn't know anything about animals. she never tried to bond with eagly. she probably doesn't even care about eagly! that’s why he called her a bad girlfriend to his mom. he was ranting about his true feelings towards her. he sees her as a sort of friendship homewrecker, hence the “slutty” thing.

☆ he brings his mom leftovers from work. she probably packs him a lunch. he doesn't like that, but will bring it anyway so she doesn't pester him about it. he probably lies to his coworkers (that didn't ask) and says that his 'super hot girlfriend' packed it for him but he won't tell them who because he doesn't want them to be jealous of his super awesome and totally real girlfriend.

☆ for as odd and wild as he is, he's very sanitary and organized. he carries around some glasses cleaner and a little cloth, his car is very neat, and secret room and beanie baby collection are never cluttered. he actually enjoys cleaning. unless his mom tells him to, then he will groan and complain about her breathing down his neck.

☆ he makes adebayo send him a picture of her dog in outfits every time she gets a new one because it makes him laugh and he thinks it's precious. he probably googles them up and sends her some too. she doesn’t mind and thinks it’s sweet that he’s trying to bond but wishes he wouldn’t do it 24/7.

☆ definitely has cringey contact names in his phone for his friends filled with emojis like a middle schooler.

☆ he is banned from the community aux cord for playing “walk the dinosaur” and “what does the fox say?”

☆ loves rolling around in his roller chair and is constantly asking people to race him. so far he has yet to find an opponent, although he did roll over fleury’s toe once.

☆ plays coolmath when he’s supposed to be working and gets defensive about it.

☆ likes to mumble talk when he’s frustrated because he thinks no one hears him.

☆ has to loudly narrate everything he does if he’s performing a task, like lifting a box. “i stretch. i place my hands on the box. i bend my knees. i lift it. it’s in my arms. i move to the corner. i set the box in the corner.”

☆ has made tomodachi’s of all his friends.

𝔠𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔦𝔢𝔩 𝔥𝔢𝔞𝔡𝔠𝔞𝔫𝔬𝔫𝔰

A/N: motivate me to finish supernatural in the comments because i’ve been slacking on watching it. again, divider creds: @pixopix :)

☆ castiel does not eat since he is an angel and has no need to. because of that he rarely ever feels like he should try. although sometimes, very rarely when no one is around, he does. he's not sure why he feels like he should try to eat again since he knows it won't be good, but he goes along with it anyway. he misses the foods he would eat when he was a human and thinks about it often. he cant enjoy it now as he did then. he doesn't miss being human, he's very glad that he's not—it was too difficult for him — but he does get a little sad when he sees his friends eating burgers. he really loved burgers.

☆ he will just pop into sam and dean's dreams. sometimes there's a reason for it. he may need to send a message or give a warning. other times, however, he's just bored. he doesn't sleep and he gets restless from staring at the tv and walking around the bunker in circles so he decides to see what's happening in their heads. to him, it's like a bonding experience. he can feel whatever is troubling them and maybe find a way to help or he can see what makes them happy, or just what it is that's on their mind at the moment. sometimes he will just watch from afar and other times he will directly interfere. sam has learned to just let him since castiel seems to enjoy it, but dean finds it invasive and creepy. castiel continues to do it regardless.

☆ he is with sam and dean more than they know. since he has the ability to go around undetected he figures he may as well not let it go to waste. hes constantly healing them from little things that they don't notice. sam got a paper cut from going through files? castiel healed it so fast sam didn't know it happened. dean got the flu from a one night stand? castiel has healed it before a sniffle even occurred. they're walking through a sketchy area at night to get back to their cheap motel? he's completely invisible guarding them from any potential threat and they don't even know. he's bored and has nothing to do? he's watching them like a kid watches their pet goldfish swim around. he likes it.

☆ he has thought about getting himself a wardrobe, but he feels weird about it. he has no sense of style and doesn't understand clothes shopping. all the sizes and rules about matching confuse him and he doesn't want to look silly. he'd rather just wear the same clothes "like a cartoon character" as dean puts it. it's not like it gets dirty or stays damaged. he can just fix it with his angel powers.

☆ he likes going to parks when he can. he will talk to any animal that doesn't immediately run away from him. he once tried to feed ducks and immediately got into trouble for not reading the sign. he was very confused as to why he was not allowed to feed them.

☆ he loves watching home renovation shows. he greatly admires human creativity. he also really enjoys the very dramatic and obviously staged reality tv shows. he's not a fan of the fighting, but he enjoys analyzing the complexity of their behaviors. sam has informed him that most reality shows are fake. he chooses to believe otherwise because "why would it be called reality then? they cant all be fake, surely."

☆ he will never understand why people dress as angels and demons for halloween. he also feels the need to critique all the angel and demon costumes. "that's not what we look like. if you must portray yourself as one of us, at least be correct."

☆ since he got a cellphone, he has become addicted to it. he uses it like a grandma. he will send them pictures of things he likes or thinks they will like. if he sees a dog on the street, he's sending them a photo. a hot wheels toy car that looks even remotely similar to baby, he's sending a photo. he will sometimes just randomly send photos of himself. he's constantly taking photos of them. they try to be patient with him or ignore it, but he has his camera in their faces 24/7. he loves his friends. all his camera roll is is blurry photos of random trinkets and off guard pictures of sam and dean. he falls for every chain email or scam call he receives. he overuses emojis. sometimes he only uses emojis. he plays a lot of candy crush. his wallpaper is a badly cropped inspirational quote with the google background still apparent. he frequently arques with siri.