#cat chatter

"Not in the slightest. In fact, it meant I knew Leaf wouldn't try holding back against me."

Anyway at least for me, it was never about Pokemon being "disrespected" or whatever the fuck. I like the series but still it needs change, and heavy change at that, internal and external.

No the reason I hated and still don't care for Palworld was it was so obviously a dogshit "competitor" from the jump. It sucked that it so clearly yoinked pokemon designs not because they're fucking sacred cows, but because it like, immediately invalidates its value as a creative piece of art to me. The exploitation of the little critters and inclusion of guns didn't feel like "we're the mature option they'd *never* take! Stick it to the big brand!", it felt cynical, like someone decided to fund a newgrounds animation circa 2007.

More and more I've been seeing artists I follow and admire upping their skill and range in their repertoire, posting practice and studies, and executing on things I've wished I could do for a long time. There's just always been this nag in the back of my head that, I need to not be taking up space, I need to not be loud, sure I can like things but, normal, commercial things. My interests are MY interests, nobody else wants to see them. And I think that's been something of a stifling lid on my ability to even do art in the first place. Why practice depicting something nobody will ever see, you know?

When I last redesigned my fursona, I did so with the explicit goal of making her look more like I do, while still retaining qualities and design traits I found appealing. Because one thing I wanted to do after realizing I was a woman, was start to think of myself as being more attractive. More visually appealing. Because I've seen OTHER people with my body type, both in real and in drawings, that I've looked at and thought "Oh, wow, pretty." So, what was stopping me from seeing that with me?

Taking inspiration from other artists I follow, I wanted to start learning to execute on drawing things that appeal to me. Which doesn't always mean saucy nsfw things, for the record. On that list is also "learn to draw armor in a way I like" and other forms of mechanical bits. But, even if it doesn't encompass the list, it is present. Learning to draw paws I find attractive. Better learning to draw my own body type in a way that's visually appealing. Finding the right amount of detailing to include in a mawshot to make it detailed without being like a flapjack gross-up shot.

The tl;dr is, I want to start feeling more authentic, and loud, and start liking myself in the body I've got more. And one thing I'm finding is helping, is seeing myself in these depictions I already find attractive and appealing.