#carolynn

           Track, gymnastics, student leadership meetings, homework- it was too much. Soon enough someone would show up at her door asking where she was, what she was thinking skipping all of her responsibilities. She was just one girl, why did everyone expect her to do so much? She was never very good at any of these things anyway. Always second rate in every damn thing.

           Maybe if she could close her eyes she could shut it all out. She could pretend to be asleep when her parents came in. They didn't understand anyway. Constantly they told her how amazing she was, how she could do anything she put her mind to.

           And all she ever did was disappoint them. Now here she was laying here feeling sorry for herself. How pathetic.

           Carolynn tossed her head to the side and stared at her bag on the floor.

           She should start her homework.

           In the doorway a shadow passed.

           "Mom?" With a sigh Carolynn sat up, haphazardly throwing her legs over the side of the bed. No response. It had to have been her imagination or a trick of the light. "Whatever." Getting up she grabbed her bag and dragged it closer to her. Her curtains fluttered from the breeze outside and sent a chill through her bones. Marching in annoyance she slammed the window shut and then stared outside from her second floor window. Their yard was in disrepair. Her parents had tried to have a baby for years and so when she was finally born her parents were already older than most.

           Another thing Carolynn couldn't keep up with, not with all her other responsibilities.

           She stared down at the jagged fence beneath her window and for a fleeting moment wondered what would happen if she threw herself from her window and landed on that jagged fence. Would she die? Or would it just hurt? Would the jagged wire wrapped around the bottom to keep rodents out slice her up enough that she would bleed to death? Could she stare up at the cloudy sky as the life left her? As her eyes turned?

           No more responsibilities.

           "Selfish." She stared down at her hands on the window sill and realized they weren't there at all. No, they were opening her window. Taking a step back she grasped the small necklace she wore, given to her by her mother of Eenwe she felt the wings give her comfort for a brief second. That very brief comfort faded into a wave of guilt. They'd all be better off without her anyway.

           Out of the corner of her eye a shadow passed by the door so suddenly that she turned toward it with a start.

           "Hey! This isn't funny!" Carolynn ran to the door and peered down the short hallway. Nothing! There was nothing there!

           Just as she was about to turn back she saw something else peculiar. The front door was cracked open, just enough. Had she been so careless that she left it open? Maybe that was what had cast the shadow. It was an awfully windy day, after all.

           That had to be it. Stomping downstairs she swung the door closed but stopped before the lock clicked into place. She swore someone was calling her. Closing her eyes she leaned against the door.

           "Am I going crazy?" There would be no answer, there never was. Her heart sunk. She couldn't even get her thoughts in order how was she supposed to do any of the other things she needed to do?

           "Carolynn."

           It was coming from outside! Carolynn opened the door and jumped barefoot down the three stone steps in front of her house and into the overgrown grass. There was nothing outside, no one calling her name but she could hear the wind rustling through the overgrown bushes and grass creating an eerie whistle as the clouds passed in front of the sun.

           "Hello!" She called, hand next to her mouth but no one responded. They lived quite a ways away from any of her classmates. Her parents had inherited the beautiful plot of land near the shore but ninety percent of it was in a state of disrepair. She crept through the grass as she heard a sound to her right, following it. It was probably a field mouse.

           As she turned the corner she saw the ruined fence and impaled on top of it was a woman! With a shriek she covered her mouth and stepped backwards. It wasn't just any woman, it was her! Carolynn's body laid twisted unnaturally over the fence, the barbed wire at the bottom wrapped around her neck and hands.

           "No!" Shrieking she ran through the grass and dove at her own visage, pulling at the wire, pulling it free of her body, trying to salvage her own image. There was a loud scream behind her and she turned with a start and fell backwards right onto her butt! Nothing! How would she explain this to her parents? They would think she was crazy! Turning back to her mangled body she found there was nothing at all. No blood, no broken bones, nothing.

           Except the wire was wrapped around her hands, around her wrists, digging into her skin. The pain seared her and stung and she pulled away in a panic but the wire only dug deeper. Trembling from head to toe she pulled the wire free of her hands and whimpered. She was losing it. She had to be!

           It was the only explanation. Useless, disappointing, and crazy.

           Now also bleeding. Her hands and arms were scraped and her feet were sore. She must have stepped on something sharp. What would she tell her coach?

           "This isn't funny!" She shouted in case this was all some cruel joke. Even as she shouted and turned back toward her house she knew no one was there. Deep down she knew that this was something inside of her. Every step she took toward the house felt hollow. Reaching her front steps she stopped and stared toward the trees overlooking the cliff side.

           The way the leaves swayed was haunting. For awhile she stared and it calmed her.

           Peeking out from behind the tree was a man hidden in shadow. She couldn’t say why she knew it was a man but she did. All she recognized truly were his red eyes, peering into her soul. Taking a step off of her steps she looked all around her in awe. The sun had crashed! How long had she been standing there staring into the distance? Shivering, Carolynn felt the dried cracked blood all over her arms as the wind chilled her to the bone. Her fingertips were pale and discolored from the chill.

           The shadow in the trees was gone so Carolynn walked inside and upstairs to clean up her arms and her feet.