Eurovision 2010s: 120 - 116
120. John Lundvik - “Too late for love?” Sweden 2019
Hey, how you’ve been? 😉
Dammit, Sweden has rarely been good in this decade but when they were they were great. During the preshow, I was worried that “Too late for love” would be too mechanical, formulaic and boring.
PRAISE DA LAWD that “Too late for love?” ended up none of those things and instead proved itself to be mildly amazing.
The song unfolds like a playful interaction between two former lovers, rekindling their romance, aided by a choir of gospel angels. Better even, the interaction is a credible one. Lundvik is fantastic in his performer role, and I believe him when he says “He would be there if he could be there”. I believe every cheeky oneliner he utters, halfwinking. I believe he will do everything for this woman (or man/transperson, I don’t judge... well perhaps just a little. 🤭). I believe this fictional romance has legs. BUT IS IT TOO LATE FOR LOOOOOVE?
is it? 😉
(and that leaves the two winners as the last two Swedish entries in this ranking. Oh well. At least they only win when they are thoroughly amazing, I guess.)
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119. Chanée & n’evergreen - “In a moment like this” Denmark 2010
Obviously, at this stage of the ranking every entry that will be ranked here on out has aspects of ~magic~, but the greatness isn’t always evenly distributed.
“In a moment like this” is a great example of this: This evergreen schlager classic is elevated into stardom by the koh-i-noor known as ~Chanée~, who delivers an A+ singing AND acting performance. She is the highlight of this powerballad, without a doubt.
Her singing partner, the person who refers to himself as “n’evergreen” (you’re a grown man, consider a name change 🙄) isn’t quite of the same calibre as she is. This half-man/half-rake hybrid merely serves the purpose of a blank canvas for Chanée to project her colourful personality onto as they are both battered by the windmachine. Overall, it works and does so quite well, but with a stronger male half I would have ranked this song a lot higher, say, around 40-50.🤔
btw, CONGRATZ RASMUSSEN FOR BEING THE HIGHEST RANKED DANISH ENTRY.
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118. Anastasia Vinnikova - “I love Belarus” Belarus 2011
Judging by the fact that I’ve dragged no fewer than *five* Belarusian songs this far, I think it’s fair to state that I, too, LOVE BELAROOS, GOD HER DIP INZIDE.
Has there ever been a more shameless display of jingoism than this accidental masterpiece? This song’s fervent nationalism leaves Greece and Armenia motherfucking dead in a motherfucking ditch. 💗💚
Of course, I wouldn’t stan this song if it didn’t give me a great song or performance and fortunately, Anastasia delivers on both. 🤗 The song is a hybrid between an ethnobanger (liberal xylophone percussion 😍) and a banality anthem (”the sky is blue and I’m writing a new song. Saying that I’m free, friendly and young”😍).
Meanwhile, the live performance is nothing short of a beautiful mess. The zany choreography <3 Anastasia having Belarus so deep inside of her it drops her voice well into the bartone range <3 YOUzari (of “__ and Maimuna” fame) delivering a hilarious disaster note <3 IGNORE the jealous haters girl. Go make BELARUS GREAT AGAIN!!!
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117. Nina Kraljić - “Lighthouse” Croatia 2016
Obviously, every entry ranked here provided us with a great live performance, but Nina is the only one who provided us with two. Honestly, the hardest part was deciding which vid to link because the performances are both epic for very different reasons. SemiFinal Nina was Nina at her BEST. She nailed her vocals, cascading nasal notes in her foghorn-like voice <3 This is the performance you should revisit if you want to celebrate “Lighthouse”, which ftr is an excellent song. I love my pseudo-ethnic trash, y’all. 😍
However, if you’re more into the trainwrecks, look no further than Finale Nina, which was Nina at her WORST. Much like how her act consisted of substituting a weird-looking mantle with arguably the ugliest dress in BDex herstory, so did Nina provide arguably the ugliest vocal performance ever after the middle-eight. 😍 Using the term “Disaster notes” undercuts it. It was a vocal chernobyl, a radioactive vocal MESS, and I stan it, obviously. 😍
Regardless of which Nina you prefer, both completely blow everything else Croatia provided in this decade out of the water, which is both hilarious and sad.
With this entry, Croatia has now been fully eliminated,
it’s been a miserable decade for what used to be one of the consistently best countries in Eurovision (96-06 Croatia is non-stop greatness, with the painful exception of Goran Karan). I hope the new decade brings better tidings, but that would require them to get their shit together and I doubt that’ll happen any time soon. 😬
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116. Danica “Nina” Prodanović - “Čaroban“ Serbia 2011
Today I learned that Nina is actually... a full-time pharmaceutical researcher.😍 I always love it when someone with full-time occupation that has no musical correlation tries out for ESC. Josstein the kindergarden teacher <3 Serhat the dentist <3 Gianluca the GP <3 Sennek the IKEA brand manager <3 Sebalter the barrister <3 Suzy the stewardess <3 Bless those beautiful amateurs (and Sennek too, I guess).😍
Can I just express how weird it is that only Balkanic and Carpathian countries OWNED in 2011 and nobody else? (counting Germany as a honorary yugo here because Croatia SUCKED, like always).
Of this impressive crop, it is Nina who excites me the least and I still think she’s very underappreciated. “Caroban” is such apt title because this song is pure 50s mowtown magic. Nina takes us on a journey though time itself, a journey rife with of pixie dust, with impeccable styling (I especially love how Nina earrings match her belt buckle... and her foolish flock of beehived hens, ofc <3) and a funfactor yanked up to eleven, thanks to those glorious backing singers. 😍 ROBBED!
