I saw this post in an autism Tumblr community. I wanted to answer in a post because it's better for me than in a comment. I asked the person if I'm allowed to do it. The person allowed it, but I should censor the name and the pfp. So, now I make this post.
I'm a 17 years old boy with MSN (moderatesupportneeds) autism. I will turn 18 on April the 5th.
I was also scared of becoming an adult. It started when I was 11-12 years old. I didn't felt like other tweens, and I was scared that people would be more judging about that I like to play with toys when I'm an adult. That feeling became more and more until 15 - 16.
I'm officially severely disabled and in need of care since I'm 9 years old which was shortly after my autism diagnosis. My care needs were and also are significantly more than it would be normal for my age. I also have a lot of challenging behavior which also makes my official care needs categorization higher. Until 12 I absolutely don't realized how severely disabled I was. With 12 I realized it a little bit. With 15 I realized it fully but I tried to forget it in many phases because it was hard to accept that I never will be able to life on my own or work a job. Having issues to accept my disability also was a reason why I was scared to become an adult. I was an age dreamer at that time. It was helpful to imagine I would be 5 years old because my care needs would be normal for that age.
With nearly 17 and 17, I learned to accept my severe disability. Being an adult also became just a number (the number 18) for me and not a behavior or something similar.
Now I'm not scared of becoming and adult anymore. I life in a care home for disabled adults (and 16-17 year olds) since April 25th, 2024. My mom visits me often. Every few weeks, she goes to a toy store with me. I buy fidgettoys and also other toys. I don't really think much about what others in the toy store think about me. My mom also told me around 1 year ago that most people who see me in stores can see that I have a developmental disability. I know that not many things will change when I turn 18. I will need a legal guardian in some areas (in the Austrian system of legal guardianship people don't have a legion guardian in all areas when they only need one in some areas unless they say they want it in all areas). I'm even happy to become an adult because when I'm 18 and have an extreme meltdown and need to get brought the the psychward by the police it won't be the paediatric psychward anymore and in adult psychwards you are allowed to keep your phone. Many people who were in paediatric and adult psychwards also say their experience in adult psychwards was mostly better. So now 18 is just a number for me without much change.
I'm not really an age dreamer anymore I play with toys when I like to but I don't age dream anymore or really really seldom but I definitely think people should age dream / age regress if it's helpful for them.
I don't know the support needs of the person who wrote this text, but because the community isn't especially for higher support needs autistics, the person probably has low support needs compared to other autistics. (Sorry if it's wrong) I know that many autistics feel the way described the text, but I luckily don't feel this way anymore. I told my story in that post, but I know the experience of becoming an adult of lower support needs autistics is different.
