#car thoughts

The Lamb — I think they would be biologically intersex but identify as genderfluid with mirror pronouns, who leans more feminine in style, because I want the lamb to be able to “fit in” to any gender identity because you play as them. For their sexuality and romantic attraction, I think they’d be demisexual and panromantic because being the only lamb left alive would, I think, leave them with trust issues for something as intimate as sex to happen. I think they’d be more open to romantic relationships though as I feel like they’d don’t have much experience and want that to change.

The Goat — For Goat, I wanted them to be semi similar to Lamb because you can play as them, so inclusive to any player’s gender or sexual orientation. Unlike the Lamb, Goat is AMAB and identifies as bigender with he/they/its pronouns! I think Goat would be demiromantic and omnisexual because in my mind, he’s more guarded about a romantic relationship rather than a sexual one.

Leshy — Right off the bat, Leshy gives asexual. Look that bush worm in the eye and tell me he fucks. You can’t. Back to gender because I skipped it. For his gender I think he’s AMAB and cis, so he/him pronouns. Then his romantic attraction. I think he’s not too sure. He’s rated e for everyone.

Heket — Heket feels berrisexual and has no specific romantic attraction. She’d be an AFAB Demi girl with she/its pronouns. Also maybe butch(?) I’ve seen some artists draw her butch and I like the look.

Kalamar — Kalamar gives aroace and almond romantic. Idk if that’s contradictory, but it feels correct. He’s cis AMAB but uses he/they/it pronouns.

Shamura — They’re biologically intersex and is nonbinary in canon, so they use they/them pronouns! As for sexuality and romantics, I think they’re also aroace, but they have dating experience before figuring themself out.

Narinder — AMAB demiboy with they/it pronouns. Demiromantic and unlabeled sexuality. He’s not too focused on it. Too busy being angry.

Lemme know if I should do anyone else, or what you headcanon them !! :3

elphie is Odysseus and Glinda is Penelope

Me when I do car things🥰

Ok, so this post is just a random car thought I had while listening to Love Me Normally and Against the Kitchen Floor by Will Wood, and how I feel the two match the game Dispatch's main love interests. I know I sound absolutely nuts, but let me cook.

I'm gonna start with the self-explanatory song. Let's start with the opening lyrics and the chorus, shall we?

I don't owe you my heart And I don't owe you my body But you should know that I'm sorry For being careless with you

Lord knows I owe you more Than I'm pretty sure I ever could give anybody But I can't pin down what normal people want from foreign objects Bottom shelf erotic products like me

So, I could hold your hand, but keep you at arm's length Or hang me from a branch too high to climb and shake Less rare than scarce, less diamond than rough Unlikely to be more than just the coal you fail to crush, and

I swear, I'm really trying Get it together, Will, know and do better It just don't come natural to me to think that you'd want me for mе I swear, I'm really trying Oh, I'm sorry, I promise, I'm doing my best I just haven't learned how to be human as you are yet

Now, for everyone who's played the game, you can see why this works, but for those who don't quite get it. Invisigal/Courtney is a former villain. Spoiler warning for those who haven't played the game (why are you reading this post if you haven't?): She's also responsible for the main protagonist, Robert Robertson/Mecha Man's, special robot suit blowing up.

A lot of her interactions with Robert are self-sabotaging, sexually charged, and remarkably defeatist. Despite all this, she is also a person who is trying to be a better person (even if she is admittedly a bit of a perverted ass about it)

OK. Full disclosure. This one doesn't have as perfect a through line as Invisigal and Kitchen Floor. But let me cook cause I still think it works. Lets pull out the first set of lyrics into the chorus.

In lipstick on the mirror Are the lyrics to my obituary In iambic pentameter, followed parameter Cross my eyes, dot my T's I was delivered holding scissors I live deliberately, I'm a quitter And a winner anyway 'Cause I never agreed to participate in this game

Won't follow my dreams No, they've all got me waking up screaming I can let them go from me After all, there's no "I" in team

And I'd rather be normal, yes, so normal I suggest that we keep this informal 'Cause a normal human being wouldn't need To pretend to be normal, to be normal Well, I guess that's the least that I owe ya To be normal in a way I couldn't be, yeah C'mon, c'mon, and love me normally

Ok, so this one doesn't have as perfect a throughline. This song is a good representation of what Blonde Blazer/Mandy wants out of a relationship. To better explain this, I should bring up everyone's favorite kicked puppy Phenomaman.

This man right here is Dispatch's Superman proxy and Blonde Blazer's ex-boyfriend. She ended their relationship in episode 2, off-screen (you can actually see the breakup proper if you have the deluxe edition of Dispatch and read the comic Shellshock). Actually, let's focus on Shellshock, cause I think it shows why "Love me normally" works (at least in my skewed vision of reality). In the comic, Blonde Blazer and Phenomaman sit down to eat some sea urchin in Japan. Blonde Blazer asks Phenomaman what he thinks five years into their relationship will look like. Because he is an alien who doesn't quite get humans at all, he simply answers that he sees them protecting Earth together till they die. Blonde Blazer, meanwhile, mentions that she'd like a day when she and he can just sit on the couch, drink a beer, and watch crappy shows while she's in her human alter ego, Mandy. Phenomaman (because he doesn't get humans) dismisses the idea, and Blonde Blazer gently breaks up with him before leaving.

Blonde Blazer does not get to be Mandy that often, even in her love life; she's Blonde Blazer. She wants someone to be (mostly) normal with. SHE WANTS TO BE LOVED NORMALLY.

Well, that was a fun little bit of madness. To be honest, I like both the romance options for this game, and if I had any artistic talent, you know my ass would be making these animatics. I'll just have to leave that to the artists here.