#captured tw

“Is that truly what you believe? Because that is not what you told your pilot. I was surprised to find that you had told him about our true connection.”

You smile slyly. “So, you dug through his memories, huh. I bet he gave you quite a show, didn’t he? Did he reveal to you the things we do late at night when it’s just the two of us? The things I beg him for? The things that have me moaning his name in –”

A sharp bolt of pain tears through your skull, cutting you off. As it subsides, you shoot Ren a smug grin, imagining all the possible memories Poe made him experience as he dug through his mind for information. Good boy, Poe. You remembered what I taught you. Even through his mask, you can tell he is glaring daggers at you. You chuckle, “I thought that might slow you down. Guess I was right. My man won’t go down without a fight.”

“Do not test me. He may still be alive at the moment, but that can change at any time.”

“Tsk, tsk, tsk. You’re slipping already. Interrogation tactics 101. Never give the prisoner any information. It gives them hope and a reason to keep fighting. Sure, you could kill him at any time. But up until now for all I knew, you already had. Now I know there is a chance to save him. Thanks for that.”

Another bolt of pain rips through your head, this time lasting longer and with more intensity. When it finally subsides, you are left panting and slightly worried. Unlike other members of your family, your connection to the Force has always been relatively weak. This meant that you were only able to use the more passive abilities such as telepathy and Force sensing. Thus, this torture was an entirely different use of the Force than you had ever been exposed to. Of course you had heard stories about people using the Dark Side of the Force to torture or inflict pain, but you had never actually seen it done, let alone experienced it. If he was using this power, if he was willing to use it on you, he might be further gone than you thought.

However, you had to be sure. There was only one way to prove to yourself that he was really gone for good. So, you glare furiously at Ren and say, “If you are really going to do this to me, to me, be a man about it. No hiding behind that stupid wannabe Vader mask. Just you and me, face-to-face.”

Ren is perfectly still for a moment. Then, slowly, he reaches up and pulls off his mask to reveal his face. You try not to, but you feel yourself inhale a shuddering breath as you take in the man in front of you. The man you have not truly seen for the past six years. You were wrong. You should never have goaded him into removing the mask. When he was still wearing it, it was easier to think of him as Kylo Ren, the great First Order leader. But looking at him now, all you saw was the face of Ben Solo. Your big brother.

“So, is this truly what you wanted? Is this the monster you expected to see?”

Hearing his unmodulated voice for the first time, you have to choke back a sob. It is the same voice that soothed you when you were scared or made you laugh when you were sad. It was the same voice that had whispered how much he loved you as you drifted off to sleep. And it was the same voice that had promised to protect you from any harm.

“No, it’s not,” you whisper. “It really is still you, isn’t it?”

He nods softly, sadly. “It’s still me.”

Suddenly, in an instant, all the grief and loss that has been overwhelming you transforms into rage. You surge against your cuffs as you shout, “How could you do this? How could you just leave like that? How could you turn your back like that without even a goodbye or an explanation!”

“They all betrayed me! You don’t know what happened that night! I was only protecting myself! They are the ones who sent me away! They are the ones who left me with him!”

“I’m not talking about Mom and Dad or Uncle Luke, you idiot! I’m talking about me!” He takes a step back at this, clearly surprised. You feel so weak and pathetic. For the last six years, this man had done nothing but hurt or kill the people you care about, but you can’t help but sob as you continue, “I loved you more than anyone else in this galaxy! You always talked about how much I looked up to Dad, but you were who I wanted to be like more than anyone else. When Mom and Dad were too busy with work or they were arguing with each other, you were the one who tucked me in, who played games with me and taught me how to fight. And then you left me for this! You are the one who betrayed me!”

You watch as he struggles to maintain his composure. His hands grip the edge of the metal table next to him so tightly, his knuckles turn white. He is no longer looking at you, but instead at his reflection in the shiny surface beneath his hands. Then, in a whisper that sounds more like he is trying to convince himself than you, he says, “They respect me here. They see what I can become and are allowing me to live up to my legacy.”

“Right! Because that’s clearly all you really cared about this whole time! Because being Darth Vader’s grandson was more important to you than being my brother!” You hiss in disgust. “I never understood what you saw in him. He was a weak-minded fool who let himself be swayed by the Dark Side and he only realized his mistake when it was too late to save himself. I truly hope that’s not the legacy you’re hoping to live up to, though you are well on your way –”

Pain shoots through your entire being as your body arcs in agony. It feels as though every nerve in your body is being electrocuted at once. Then, as you open your mouth to scream, you realize a firm but invisible hand is clasped around your throat. You struggle in vain to squeeze even the smallest amount of oxygen into your lungs. Your brother is standing mere inches in front of you, one hand outstretched as if reaching for something. Or clutching something. His face is dark with a fury the likes of which you have never seen. You knew he had a temper and had occasionally lashed out at your dad or your uncle, but he had never once directed his anger towards you. Ever.

Your vision was darkening around the edges and the room was growing fuzzy. Whether it was from the pain or the lack of oxygen or some combination of the two, you aren’t sure, but you know you can’t last much longer. With your last wisp of air, you manage to croak out, “Please…… Ben….”

The pain and grasp on your throat both vanish instantly. You gasp frantically for air as your body goes slack, the cuffs the only thing still holding you upright. Your head is resting limply on your chest as you still struggle to remain conscious. Finally, you regain your senses enough to look up.

With his mask firmly back in place, Kylo Ren storms to the door, never once giving the slightest glance in your direction. Just before he exits the room, he snaps over his shoulder in his modulated voice, “This room is warded against Force users. No one can sense anything coming from the other side of the walls. This means you will not be able to reach out for help and no one can sense you if they are trying to discover your location. So, you better get comfortable.” And with that, he disappears with a flurry of his cloak.

Even though the Force didn’t leave physical marks, you can still feel your brother’s phantom fingerprints on your throat. You had realized that you would have to confront him face to face eventually but after six years of space battles in individual ships and reconnaissance photos taken from afar, you had managed to fool yourself into thinking this experience would feel just as distant.

As you hear the door open again, you let out an exhausted sigh, “Listen, it’s been a long day and I’m really not up for anymore family bonding time. Do you think we could just try this again tomorrow?”

“That’s not really what I had in mind.”

Your head snaps up, startled by the unfamiliar voice. You don’t recognize the man standing before you, but something about the way he is leering at you immediately sends warning bells screaming in your head.

“My name is General Armitage Hux and I am the one in charge of this Star Destroyer.”

“Well, may I say, you are doing a bang-up job. These are just top-notch guest accommodations. And the hospitality in this place! You know, you are the second person to check on how I am enjoying my stay.”

“Ah, that’s right, I saw your brother leave a short time ago.”

Your blood runs cold as the grin slowly drops from your face. The general seemed to enjoy this. “Oh yes, I know who you are. More importantly, I know who he is. He thought he could change his name, cover his face, and hide his disgusting rebel lineage. That he could treat me like some second-class underling while his family are the very people we are fighting to bring down.”

It clicked all at once. You have met men like Hux before. Jealous, cowardly men who wouldn’t risk taking their anger and frustrations out on the real target of their hatred, so they would find a stand-in to take it out on instead. A substitute for their rage that didn’t carry the same consequences or repercussions. Someone like a prisoner.

You discreetly pull at your cuffs, but once again, they don’t so much as budge. Despite your attempts to hide your movement, Hux sees this small act and it seems to spur him on. “I believe you are starting to understand what is about to happen here, my dear. You see, your brother may be a pathetic, irritating child but, for some reason, he has gained favor with the Supreme Leader. Which means I am unfortunately forced to work with him against my wishes. You however, you are a prisoner aboard my ship, and as such, it is in my right to interrogate you using any methods I see fit.”

Without warning, he slams his fist into your cheek followed quickly with an elbow to your solar plexus. You instinctively try to curl in on yourself, but your restraints keep you in a mostly vertical position. Stepping closer so he is just inches from you, Hux roughly grabs your face in-between his fingers and squeezes, pain blossoming from your throbbing cheek. He gives a wolfish grin when he sees your grimace, “Do you want to know the best part about all of this? He delivered you directly into my lap and then placed you in the one room where he can’t use his ‘mystic powers’ to sense what is happening to you. So, please, feel free to try reaching out to him, send him all the silent pleas and cries you wish, but know, he won’t find you until it is too late. Then, oh, then he will finally see what a threat I truly am.” And as Hux pulls out a knife from the bag of supplies he has brought with him, you do send out a silent farewell through the Force and just hope that, by some miracle, someone does hear you.

“Oh no, no, no, no, no! Baby, please, come on! Don’t do this to me! Come on, wake up! Please, open your eyes.”

The familiar voice rouses you from the half-unconscious state you have been drifting in ever since Hux left. You open your one good eye to see a familiar pair of boots standing in the pool of blood that has formed beneath you. Slowly raising your head, you are finally able to focus on the man in front of you. “Poe?” Your voice comes out little more than a whimper, but your boyfriend still gives you a huge smile.

“Hey, that’s my girl. Oh, don’t scare me like that.” He leans in until your foreheads are pressed lightly against each other. You can see deep, bloody gashes on each of his temples, and a few other scattered cuts across his face.

“You okay?” You manage to murmur.

“Really? You are asking if I’m okay?” He chuckles softly. But quickly his happy demeanor drops as really takes in your appearance. He quietly growls, “Did he do this to you?”

“No. He was here but he didn’t touch me. Just tried messing with my head. Some general came after he left…. Hux.”

“He’s the commander of this ship.” A new voice cuts in. You shift slightly to look around Poe. You are startled to see a helmetless stormtrooper standing there. He raises a hand awkwardly in greeting.

As you glance warily at Poe, he says, “It’s okay. He’s the one who freed me. We’re all getting out of here together.” When you still don’t look convinced, Poe sighs, “Fine. He needs a pilot, so he’s helping us in order to escape himself.”

You nod. Self-preservation is a motive you can understand. Suddenly, you remember something your brother had said, and you smile. “Ren did mention he interrogated you. He didn’t seem too thrilled with the memories you showed him of us.”

Poe grins widely. “You were right to think they would throw him off. It bought me some time. Guess he didn’t like to know what his little sister gets up to now that she’s all grown up.”

“How about when we get home, we make some more of those memories? Just in case you need to use them as a distraction again.”

Before Poe can respond, the trooper hits a button on the wall and your cuffs release, sending you falling limply from the table you have been strapped to. Poe catches you and tenderly lowers you to the floor.

Everything hurts. Your lip is split wide open and you constantly taste blood. Your right eye is swollen shut and you aren’t sure what kind of permanent damage it may have suffered. Several ribs on your left side are definitely broken, evident by the dull, throbbing ache that comes every time you shift your weight. Bruises litter your limbs and torso, in various sizes and colors. You are bleeding from multiple stab or slash wounds in various places on your body and, judging by your lightheadedness and the pool of blood by your feet, you have already lost a lot of blood. But regardless of all of that, you can’t help but close your eye and smile as you lay embraced in Poe’s arms. He is still alive and he has found you. What more can you ask for in this moment?

The trooper gently clears his throat, and motions that you all needed to get going. Poe tries helping you to your feet, but it is quickly evident that is not going to be an option. Poe assesses the situation and turns to the trooper. “Okay, here’s what we’re going to do. I’m going to carry her to the ship and you’re going to cover our escape.” He holds out a blaster to the other man. When he hesitates, Poe asks, “You can shoot, can’t you?”

You chuckle softly. “Poe…. He’s a stormtrooper.”

Poe pauses for a second, then nods. “Good point. Okay, change of plans. You carry her and I’ll provide the cover.”

The trooper still seems unsure about this, but you give him the warmest smile you can muster. He seems decent, all things considered, and if he really did rescue Poe, you owed him everything. He gives you a nervous smile back as he lifts you from Poe’s arms. The stiff, white armor he wears isn’t as comfortable against your tender body as Poe’s favorite jacket had been, but after shifting a little, you are able to maneuver yourself into a bearable position.

Poe gently brushes your hair off your face and places a ghost of a kiss on your busted lips. Looking at the trooper, he says, “If anything happens to me, you get her out okay.” The trooper nods, but Poe grabs his arm. “Promise me.”

“I..I promise.”

“Don’t I get a say in this?” you say indignantly.

“Nope.” Poe says, smirking as he opens the door.

You feel him the moment the trooper carries you into the hall. Your current hazy state combined with the surprise of seeing Poe again had made you forget about the Force blocking nature of the room. Now that you had left it, your ability to sense and be sensed through the Force had returned. And he knew it.

Getting Poe’s attention, you whisper urgently, “He knows.”

Poe understands immediately and takes off down the hall as quickly as he dares. The trooper (now wearing his helmet again) does his best to stealthily follow but it is difficult with you in his arms. Every jostle or stumble he makes, sends new waves of pain through your aching body but you do your best to stifle your moans.

Y/N? Ren’s voice suddenly echoes through your head. You can sense his confusion at your escape, but it quickly morphs into rage as he detects your injuries. You have never felt such fury or anger in your life. It feels like a brand applied directly to your brain. You try to push him out of your head but even when you are in your peak form, he is a much stronger Force user than you are. But this attempt at least seems to alert him to the pain his presence is causing you because the anger is gone in an instant.

However, you can still hear his voice in your head. Y/N, I am so sorry. I did not know about his plan. I would have never let him touch you if I had known. I swear, I will kill him for this.

Those are nice words but be honest. You won’t dare retaliate for the same reason he came after me instead of you. You may both despise each other but you fear your precious “Supreme Leader” too much to do anything about it. You flinch sharply as the trooper repositions you in his arms. Your brother notices your discomfort through your connection but he doesn’t deny your allegations.

Please, let me help you. I can sense your pain and you are in urgent need of medical care.

You knew he was right. You were getting dizzier with each passing moment. Glancing at the floor behind the trooper, you can see a thick trail of blood leading in an obvious path back the way you had just come. The three of you might have been lucky up to this point, but if a single person came across the blood, it would be a clear path leading directly to you.

You’re right, I do need help. So, if you still care for me at all, let us go.

You know I cannot do that. Leader Snoke has been made aware of your presence. He will not allow someone who is so important to the Resistance to escape. You feel him hesitate. You are too valuable a hostage.

Wow, is that really all you see me as? A hostage, a pawn to play against the Resistance? To play against our mother?

No.

Okay, fine. You win. I will remain here with you but only on one condition. You let them go. Both of them. I won’t put up a fight, I won’t try to escape, you can do whatever you want with me but only if you let them go.

…………….If I do this, I have my own conditions.

You and your brother volley demands back and forth, each giving a little, each taking a little, until you both finally come to a tenuous agreement. Neither one of you were truly happy about the arrangement, but given the circumstances, it was the best either of you could hope for. But first, you have to break the news to Poe.

“Stop. You have to put me down,” you whisper.

The trooper hesitates but sets you carefully on your feet, keeping his arm around your waist for support. Your boyfriend comes over and runs his thumb over your cheek. “Hey, hey, what’s wrong?”

“Poe, you have to go on without me. You have to leave me here.”

“What! No, we’re not leaving you here. What are you talking about?”

“None of us have thought this through. We’ve been lucky so far and haven’t come across anyone. But, how are we going to explain a Stormtrooper carrying a bleeding prisoner while another prisoner walks in front with a blaster? Also, even if we get to a ship, TIE fighters fit at most two people. Even if we tried to squeeze the three of us in, you won’t have enough room to navigate properly. And you’re going to need all of your skills to outmaneuver their weapons and ships. And finally…..” you trail off for a second before continuing. “Finally, I would never survive the trip.”

Poe looks confused for a moment before he notices the trail of blood behind you and the pale, clammy quality to your skin. He curses quietly, “Why didn’t you say something sooner?”

“Because I knew you wouldn’t go without me. But now…. Ren is willing to make a deal.”

“How do you know that? What sort of deal?”

“It’s a long story but if I stay, he won’t stop you two from leaving. He can’t do anything about Hux or his men once they discover you’re gone, but he promises he won’t alert them to your escape.” You hesitate. “But this deal is only good until you’re out of range of the ship. He says if you get in his way of finding the map, he won’t hesitate to cut you down.”

“Well, it doesn’t matter because I’m not leaving you here with him.”

“Poe, we don’t have a choice. Someone has to get to BB-8 before the First Order does. That map cannot fall into their hands. And what do you think will happen if I go with you? Even if I make it down to Jakku without dying from blood loss or internal bleeding or whatever, what’s your plan? Having one of you carry me across the desert as we track down our droid? And even if, by some miracle, we come across someone with medical supplies, we have no credits and nothing to trade with. Don’t you get it? This is the only way any of us have a chance.”

“I don’t care! I am not leaving you!” Poe practically roars the words. But when he sees your startled expression, his fuming face crumples into one of despair. He whispers, “I can’t. I – I just can’t.”

You pull yourself up to your full height, ignoring the pain that shoots through your ribs in the process. “Commander Poe Dameron, you swore an oath when you joined the Resistance that you would do whatever it took to help bring down the First Order. That included laying down your own life or the lives of others. Are you saying you are willing to break that oath?”

Poe just stares at you for a long time before slowly shaking his head. “God, you’re just like your mother.”

“Yeah? And what would she say that you need to do in this situation?”

“She would say….. that I need to leave you here.”

“Finally.” You let yourself sag back against the trooper, most of your energy now spent. “Now, you guys need to go. We’ve wasted too much time arguing about this as it is.”

Poe gently pulls you into his arms. As he rests his chin on the top of your head, he whispers, “I’ll come back for you. I promise.” You just nod into his chest, silent tears streaming out of your one good eye. After standing there holding each other for a moment, he pulls away. “I love you.”

“I know.” You wink at him, not realizing until after that with your bad eye, it probably came out as more of a dramatic blink than the coy wink you were trying for.

But Poe seems to understand. He smirks as he helps the trooper lower you gently to the floor, resting your back against the wall. You can see he still doesn’t want to abandon you, but you nod to let him know it is okay. He backs away from where you are propped, never taking his eyes off you until he reaches the end of the hall. With one last sorrowful look, he and the trooper disappear around the corner, leaving you to remain behind.

Tears stream down the left side of your face, but you know this is what has to be done. This was the only way either of you stood a chance of making it to tomorrow. And maybe, one day in the future, the two of you would be reunited once more. Wiping your face, you reach out through the Force. They’re gone. I’m yours, just come and get me.

Your brother appears at your side in seconds, meaning he had probably been waiting around the corner for the other men to leave. He bends down beside you to examine your injuries in person. You want to lash out, to yell or curse at him, but you are too mentally, physically, and emotionally drained to put up any kind of fight. Instead, you just glance over at him. “Okay, so you have me. What now?”

“Now, I get you medical attention.” He scoops you up in his arms and starts down the hall to the med bay.

It suddenly occurs to you that this is the first time in six years the two of you have physically touched. He had used the Force in the interrogation room, but he had never actually laid a finger on you. You close your eye, and you swear it feels just like it did when you were kids. The two of you would frequently lay outside at night, staring wistfully up at the stars and telling stories of all the adventures you would have up there together. And more often than not, you would doze off forcing Ben to carry you back inside to your bed. You had never felt more safe or more loved than when you were curled up in your brother’s arms. And now…..

“Ben….” Startled, he stops walking, his mask staring blankly down at you. “Thank you….. Thank you for letting them go.”