#captain's log

my government issued Really Fucking Tall Guy™ getting ready to buy the seat directly in front of me:

At my job, we have a bunch of paint mixers and shakers. My coworker, before I started there, gave them names, and as the name tags get covered by paint spills, we just give em a new name.

We had one that needed a new name, and it was being really ornery, so me, being cute, named it after the beloved Mechanisms character, Gunpowder Tim. I took a picture and everything, meant to post it and forgot.

Now I come in TODAY, and guess what I fucking found

Star Trek was the main inspiration for the invention of the flip phone

as well as trans people

wilson is mad at house so he's withholding sex from house and he's acting normal about it but we see him in his office furiously jerking off because he's also suffering from no sex but it is more important to make house suffer than it is to give in

house intentionally starts acting suspicious on purpose to make wilson think he's cheating on him but it turns out house isn't cheating he's just being dodgy because wilson was being a little weird (he was working on a surprise for house) so house just wanted to throw it back at him. he knew what wilson was doing the whole time but he just didn't like the behavior.

planning their wedding and wilson insists that hes had so many weddings that he doesnt care what they do so he tells house he can do whatever he wants. house thinks wilson is just being a doormat so he plans more and more ludicrous things for their wedding until wilson puts his foot down at "complimentary strippers at the reception instead of speeches"

they get in trouble with cuddy for fucking in the hospital on the job so house becomes determined to fuck in the hospital as much as possible, trying to lure wilson into sex all the time. we find out at the end that cuddy scolded them on purpose because wilson complained that he and house weren't having sex enough so she was trying to help wilson get laid because she knew house would have more sex just to spite her.

house gets a homophobic patient so he pages his husband dr wilson for consult as much as possible and mentions its his husband. the patient is really mad about it but they know that house is their only hope for survival so they keep quiet. he keeps pushing it further until he's dry humping wilson on the patient's bed.