#captain sy

Chapter 22

Allie’s POV:

Weeks slowly drifted by, and I thankfully began feeling better as time progressed. Syverson kept waiting excitedly for me to develop a baby bump, and kept a protective hand across my abdomen whenever possible. I encouraged him to talk to my belly, to our baby, but he said that felt awkward because there wasn’t a bump yet. I’ll never forget the first ultrasound appointment though. That appointment seemed to solidify the existence of our baby for the both of us, but it hit Austin specifically hard. The ever stoic Syverson, practically melted when that tiny cold exam room began echoing the methodical thump-thump-thump of our babies’ pulse. Both of us completely enraptured by the blurry black and white image on the screen, even though we didn’t have the slightest clue of what we were looking at. All we knew, was that we loved that little person immensely.

“Strong heartbeat measured at 145 beats per minute. Is this your first baby?” The ultrasound technician echoed as she gathered the blue jelly and pressed the probe further into my stomach. I nod quietly as my eyes darted from the screen, to Syverson who looked as though he was physically melting into himself. Typically, his posture was always rigid, menacing and always searching for a threat especially in a place where he wasn’t comfortable. A women’s obgyn office clearly wasn’t his idea of a comforting environment, yet I watched him slink in on himself as he was so captivated by the gummy bear wiggling inside my tummy. 

“It looks like you’re measuring a little over 10 weeks, and baby is looking healthy.” She moves the wand around my belly and presses harder to get a clear image.

“Is that…a hand?” I ask as I tilt my head sideways and try to interpret the blob on the screen.

“Oh, let me explain!” She chirps before pointing to the screen.

“This shape here, is your bladder. This is your uterus and this is the sac that the baby is in. Inside the sac, you’ll see this is your baby’s head, and here are the arms and legs. Look! He or she is waving at you.”

“Well I’ll be damned.” Austin mutters lowly under his breath that only I can hear. 

“I’ll take some pictures for you to take home and show to grandparents or loved ones.” The technician says with pure kindness but I feel a wave of sadness that this beautiful baby doesn’t have any grandparents to dote over it.

Interrupting my thoughts, Syverson speaks to the technician. “When will we be able to know what it is?” He thinks for a moment before quickly adds on to his question.

“I mean, I know it’s obviously a baby. I meant gender.” He says with an eye roll at himself and I giggle quietly. 

“Usually, we can tell gender at the anatomy scan around weeks 18-20. Unless you get genetic testing done today, you could know earlier. It’s a simple blood draw and tests for common genetic birth defects. It’s becoming a popular thing to do nowadays since we have all of this technology, but no pressure either way.” She states coolly as Sy intertwines his fingers with my own. 

“It’s probably a good idea since I haven’t received any prenatal monitoring yet, and I’m pretty sure that this baby has endured some heavy alcohol.” I mutter somewhat embarrassedly. 

“Oh honey, most of them have. The only reason that I have three kids is because we dropped off the first two with their grandparents and went to a wedding reception with an open bar. We call him our little drunken souvenir.” The ultrasound technician chuckles and I giggle in relief.

Thinking back to the pure bewilderment on Austin’s face when we got our first glimpse of our little gummy bear, springs happy tears to prick at the corners of my eyes. Damn pregnancy hormones. When we left that first appointment, we sat in Sy’s truck for almost twenty minutes just grinning like fools. We were going to be parents! The idea of the baby in my stomach was actually confirmed to be a little wiggly blob and like most parents, we were already smitten with the little life that we had created. 

“I don’t wanna wait.” Sy said suddenly and I looked at him with amusement.

“I’m sorry, but there’s no express shipping on this little one. You’re just going to have to be patient while he or she grows.” I tell him bemusedly.

“Not that, I mean…I don’t want to wait to marry you. I want you to be my wife.” Staring at him across the console, I tilt my head slightly as I’m pondering his statement. 

“What exactly are you asking me, baby? It’s not right to toy with a pregnant lady’s emotions before she’s even had lunch.” I joke.

“Well, I guess I’m asking what you want. Do you want a big wedding with all the bells and whistles? Or would you be open to going to the courthouse?” He asks earnestly and I slowly begin chewing on my bottom lip as I ask myself what I really want.

Growing up, I was always told that I would have a massive wedding that would be the talk of the town. The extravagance of each detail from the crystal china, ostentatious flower arrangements, and a gown that would put Grace Kelly to shame. My parents would use my, no doubt arranged, nuptials as a networking event and to better flaunt their money and social status to those less inclined. However, I was always one that hated being the center of attention. I abhorred the thought of hundreds of eyes on me, critiquing me and judging me, as I walked toward my impending doom…I mean, future. Yet, now that luckily wasn’t even an option had I been so inclined, simply because my parents and I do not speak and I certainly didn’t have the financial security for anything of that nature. 

Could I just, go to the courthouse and sign some papers and step out as someone’s wife? That didn’t necessarily appeal to me either simply because it felt like a responsibility as though I was renewing my driver’s license, rather than pledging my life to another. Where could I find the middle ground? 

“What about….the field, by the waterfall. The first place you took me on your motorcycle? We could keep it to just rebels, and maybe my boss, Alyssa. We could ask Annie to marry us. I could wear a simple dress and we could say our vows in front of the people we care about without spending any money.”

“I think that sounds like a fucking dream, Sugar.” Austin smiled as he placed his palm against my cheek and drew me in for a tender kiss. 

“This weekend?” He asks and I smile with a nod and place my hand across my abdomen with a sweet caress.

*FRIDAY NIGHT*

Eliza and Bananas has insisted upon bachelor and bachelorette parties, even though this was all sprung on everyone last minute. We decided to not have a traditional bridal party, so it would just be Annie marrying us. Not having my father there to walk me down the aisle should’ve been something that hurt, but I had a plan and didn’t seem to miss his presence once since cutting them off entirely.

Eliza and I got ready together for the night at her home and were meeting the guys at the bar and grill. This was all part of her very precise plan for my impromptu bachelorette night and I knew she planned on making it a sleepover, which was actually exciting to me because I loved hanging out with her. I was already fatigued from working my hair into a Victoria’s Secret worthy blowout when Eliza started on my makeup and applied a flawless smokey eye. Teetering on heels while pregnant in any capacity should be considered an Olympic sport, but I still wanted to look as hot as I possibly could before my center of gravity became similar to that of a jersey cow. Eliza had agreed and helped me pick out an incredibly sexy white leather mini dress from her boutique.

“White is a must for your bachelorette night.” She proclaimed.

“I’m pregnant and not fooling anyone…but it is pretty and I know Sy will like it.”

“Oh honey, Sy will be positively drooling into his whiskey when he sees you wearing that. Plus, I got you some navy blue suede studded high heels. He won’t be able to take his eyes off of you. That’ll make it even more fun when I tell him that he’s not allowed back home until after the ceremony.”

“Best of luck with that, Liza. He’s going to throw a tantrum.” I say with a chuckle because she of all people must know how he’ll react to being told he can’t go back to his own home with me.

“Oh, I’ll handle it! Don’t you worry. The anticipation after seeing you like this tonight will make your wedding night that much spicier!” She said with her hands perched together like a villain revealing her plan in a cheesy thriller movie. 

Getting dressed, I had to admit that I felt truly sexy in my dress and heels. It was oddly liberating to be able to even want to feel sexy. My whole life had always been dressing ‘classy’ and modest to not cheapen my appearance. Everything was about perceived status with my family so I was still dipping my toes into the idea of wearing something that made me feel sexy and powerful. My dress was tight, my heels uncomfortable but I fully embraced the confidence that my vixen look had afforded me tonight.

NSYNC blared through the speakers of Eliza’s car as we made our way to the War Horse bar and grill. I was so excited that we would be sharing the news of our pregnancy with the remainder of the friends that we call our family. I followed Eliza in and we made our way back to the area that has always been reserved for the rebels. 

“Goddamn!” All eyes turn to us as Bananas shouts whe he eyes his fiancé in her slinky hot pink blouse that’s tucked into a tight black leather skirt. She looked like an absolute siren and I loved that for her.

“Is there a doctor in the building?!” Bananas continues his antics as we finally reach the group.

 “Someone, I need a doctor! These unbelievably gorgeous women have got my heart racing too fast! My heart is going to stop! Help!” He feigns as he clutches his chest dramatically. Everyone in the establishment is quite used to his acting skills, so after a few brief chuckles and an overheard ‘there goes Bananas again’ comment, they go back to their drinks and previous conversations. Hitting his knees, he ridiculously pretends to worship the ground in front of us.

With a giggle, I finally look past Banana’s performance to see Captain Austin Syverson looking at me with darkened inferno eyes. I hear him utter an almost indiscernible ‘fuck’ to himself as he subtly licks his lips while his eyes slowly crawl up and down my form. He gawks at me without movement or shame as he drags a calloused hand through his beard, the other clenched into a fist while his eyes dance across my scantily clad skin. In my previous life, I would have caved in upon myself in embarrassment, but tonight I force myself to remain confident. Squaring my shoulders and jutting a hip out slightly, I imperceptibly bite my bottom lip and look up at him with the bedroom eyes that I know turn him to mush. 

Everyone was so happy for us after we made our baby announcement and Syverson had a smug grin as his friends all congratulated him and gave him a hard time for knocking me up so quickly. In my past life, I would have been mortified, but now I realize that’s how their brotherly bond functions. Alyssa drove in from Charlotte and was staying at a hotel one town over, and I was so happy to introduce her to my new life. She had been such a great boss to me for the last few years.

Not long after we arrived, we were all sitting around in the back of the bar when the door opened and in walked two men that I had missed more than I had realized. I swear that every woman in the room paused with their drink in midair when August and Walter both made their way through the patrons toward the back where we were all sitting. I was perched on Syverson’s lap as I was talking to Haley, a local girl that Dalton had been seeing, when they walked in and I felt my smile widen across my face. I stood, and Syverson followed suit in order to welcome his brother and cousin back. 

“Didn’t think I’d have to come back to this shithole of a town so soon, Austin.” August smirked with humor as he looked at his brother and then down at me. 

“Shut the hell up, you know you love it here.” Sy pulled him in for their typical bro hug, before hugging Walter.

“It’s not too late to run away with me, Al.” August goaded loud enough for Sy to hear as he pulled me into his arms for a tight hug. 

“Oh, but it is too late, Gus.” I giggle as his eyes roll dramatically before I reach for Walter and pull him into a tight hug as well. He is wearing one of his signature sweaters with the sleeves pulled up his massive forearms and I can’t help but notice that he somehow even seems to be more muscular than he was when I last saw him if that’s even possible. 

“Um, how ripped are you going to get before you’ve decided that you’ve reached perfection?” I ask Walt with a playful smack to his bicep hidden behind the jumper. Walt’s eyebrow arches before he shakes his head but I notice a bit of a blush on his cheeks as he does so. 

“Just trying to keep my mind busy with a new workout routine.” He answers dismissively.

“Not enough homicides to keep you at the station all night these days? That’s supposed to be a good thing, Walter.” I joke.

“Well, you and Austin kept me busy for a while but now that y’all are getting all domesticated and married, I gotta occupy my time outside the station somehow.” He quips and I giggle.

“Touché.” 

August places his arm over my shoulders to pull my attention back to him, and I watch as Austin’s eyes follow me.

“You could always run away with me, and that will give Walt the opportunity to exercise his investigative mind when he and Austin try and fail to track us down.” He says haughtily and Austin’s eyes darken as his brother goads him. 

“Gus, you wouldn’t want that, trust me. I know that Austin will stop at nothing to keep me safe.” I tickle his side which makes the typically stoic August jolt in surprise. 

“I’m CIA, baby. I’ve got skills he doesn’t know even exist.” August boasts and I watch as Austin’s irritation grows so I decide to put him down a notch.

“Well, as long as I’m back in at least 29 weeks. I certainly can’t have this baby while out playing Bonnie and Clyde with you, now can I?” 

August looks as though I just burned him with fire. “What did you just say?”

“I said, you’re going to be an uncle!” I smile and see that Austin is decidedly thrilled at the shock that echoes across his own brother’s face.

August’s arm falls from my shoulder as I hold up the ultrasound photo to him and Walter. Walter is momentarily shocked, but rearranges his features into a surprised smile before hugging Sy and then me with a whispered, ‘congratulations’ in my ear. 

August’s mind is seemingly producing and ERROR code as he studies the ultrasound image in front of him. 

“Fuck.” He says and I look at him with confusion which makes him swallow thickly and then pull me into a hug. 

“It takes a lot to surprise me, and I guess I was just so focused on the wedding that I didn’t expect this to be the reason why you were in such a rush. It seems congratulations are in order.” He says genuinely but my face falls. 

“This baby isn’t the reason for us getting married. We love each other and I had been planning on proposing to her before either of us ever found out she was pregnant.” Austin doesn’t mince his words when he sees my reaction to his brother’s unfiltered thoughts.

“Right, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean in like that, Al. I wasn’t thinking.” August is quick to apologize as he looks down at me to find me staring at the floor.

“It’s okay. I know that most think that this is a shotgun wedding, but we love each other so much and don’t want to wait any longer. That’s all it is. I think we would be just as impatient even without the baby on their way.” 

Taking a deep breath, August’s mustache twitches before he nods and then speaks. “I'm happy for you.” He says and I hug him gently. 

“I can’t believe you’re still walking around with that caterpillar under your nose.” I poke at him and with the signature Syverson eyebrow arch, all of the previous tension evaporates.

“It would be a crime against the pleasure of women everywhere to shave off this perfect mustache.” He boasts and the group collectively rolls their eyes with exasperation.

“On that note, let me introduce you both. This is Alyssa, my boss. I think you guys know everyone else here already.” I change the subject and see Alyssa’s cheeks blush as she shakes Walter’s hand. Oooh…That could be a cute match. I decide that I’ll try to encourage that along tonight while we’re all here together.

The guys quickly grabbed a whiskey and joined in with the conversation as we updated each other on how things have been going since we last were together. Walter had been continuing to work his all-consuming job as a homicide detective, had taken one long weekend off to take Faye to the beach while she had a break from school, and had taken up a new workout routine to help fill the hours at night when he was unable to sleep. August had been all over the world on ‘confidential’ work assignments. He didn’t go into much detail, but assured us that most of the time he spent throughout Europe and claimed that he had become somewhat more level headed in his dealings…whatever that meant. 

The fun continued and after everyone finished eating, Eliza let me known that she’s got more planned for us tonight. I was already yawning, so I silently hoped that she stuck to the one request that I had for her, which was to please make sure I was in bed by eleven. Nobody wants to be sleep deprived and pregnant on their wedding day, as the combination would make for a less enjoyable day. A day that is supposed to be bursting with joy. 

Eliza made sure that Syverson knew he wasn’t welcome back at our home tonight. 

“It’s bad luck to see the bride before the wedding. So, say goodnight and we’ll see you at the wedding tomorrow.” Eliza demanded.

“That’s an old wives’ tale that church elders made up to keep couples from fucking before marriage.” He said with an eyeroll. “Clearly, that’s a moot point now that my woman’s got my baby growin’ in her belly, don’t ya think Liza?” He provoked her further in an attempt to get his way. 

“Don’t get crass with me, Cap. Let’s just do one thing by tradition. I’ll be sleeping next to her so don’t try anything.” Eliza smarted with pointed finger right at Syverson’s face. We all knew she was the only one in this group other than me who could get away with that, and the rest of the group had to stifle their snickers at Sy’s expense to avoid his ire when we left. 

“If you weren’t like my little sister, I swear. Little tyrant.” Sy muttered under his breath before turning toward me and arching his brow at my amused expression. 

“Something funny?” He asked.

“Very.” I smirked and he rolled his eyes.

“You and Eliza together are like partners in crime. I shoulda known’ better than to encourage this. Y’all are ganging up on me.” 

“Ganging up on the leader of a dangerous biker gang? Impossible.” My voice dripping in hilarity. 

“Get over here, Mrs. Syverson.” He grunted and I practically fell into his embrace.

“This time tomorrow, I actually will be Mrs. Syverson.” I look up at him with love and admiration.

“I don’t think I’ll sleep a wink tonight without you.” He mutters lowly against my neck just under my ear. Goosebumps raise on my arms as his warm breath tickles me. 

“Me either, but we’ll never have to be apart after tonight.” I promise. 

Austin braces a large heavy hand against the nape of my neck and pulls me into an uncharacteristically hot kiss given that we are in public. His lips taste like the whiskey he’s been sipping on all night and I’m enveloped in the scent of his musky cologne. Sy’s other palm slowly makes it’s way down to my leather covered bottom and squeezes gently as his tongue caresses my mouth hotly. I feel the rigidness of his growing want against my pelvis.

“Okay, okay! We don’t need to see how the baby was conceived!” Eliza hollers and pulls me back into the reality of our very public display of affection. I giggle as Sy murmurs another ‘tyrant’ under his breath against my lips, referring to Eliza’s bossiness.

“I wish I could take you home and peel you outta this dress.” He whispers deeply against my ear and I shiver involuntarily.

“I’d fuck you in nothing but those high heels.” He adds when his eyes connect with mine, both clouded in lust for each other. 

“Mmm.. I can’t wait for tomorrow night then. These are my wedding shoes… my something blue.” I add huskily.

“I’m gonna have something blue tonight if you keep tempting me like this and don’t let me follow through.” He jokes and I smirk at his reference to blue balls. 

“I’ll take good care of you tomorrow night, love.” I promise with a bite to my lip.

“That’s enough! Time to get the bride home!” Eliza demands loudly behind my back while tugging at my hand to drag me with her.

“Bananas, control your woman.” Sy utters with contempt.

“Man, you know just as well as I do that I can’t control a damn thing she does.” Bananas answers honestly.

“That’s because he’s pussy whipped, just like you Cap.” Eliza snarks. “Let’s go Al!” 

Giving quick hugs to everyone, I place one more kiss on Syverson’s soft lips before letting her tug me toward the door and into her car. As we leave, I notice an uncharacteristic smile on Walter’s face as he talks closely with Alyssa who is noticeably blushing under his attention. Austin's eyes follows my form all the way out the door.

Saturday morning arrived earlier than usual due to the shrill beep of the alarm that Eliza had set as she lay next to me. Rolling over, I blink at her as she shuts it off and sits up with excitement. 

“You’re getting married today!” She clapped her hands excitedly and I smiled while wiping the sleep from my eyes. 

“Hopefully Sy didn’t get completely shitfaced last night with the boys. I told B to keep it lowkey, but you know how he is.” Eliza admits as she leans back against the pillows. Eliza and Bananas were planning a more traditional wedding in about four months, and I was shocked when Eliza asked me to be her matron of honor. Clearly, my wedding was going to be much smaller but I felt so close with her that I immediately asked her to be mine as well. 

Eliza came back into the room with mimosas, or at least mine was just orange juice in a champagne flute as I sat in front of her bathroom vanity covered in cosmetics and hair tools to begin getting ready. Eliza and I had gone into town one day last week and found a wedding gown. Being that we needed to purchase it that day, I was nervous that I wouldn’t be able to find something that I liked, but luckily, I fit the sample size in the store and was able to purchase my gown off the rack. My gown hung on the bathroom door in an opaque dress bag and I smiled as I thought about putting it on. Annie was all set to marry us, after having been ordained online. I had one last request to make, but this was one I wanted to ask in person. 

After hours of Eliza’s hard work, I was buffed, polished, and completely put together as a bride. My hair had been curled and styled and sprayed with copious amounts of hairspray. My makeup was flawless and I wore jewelry from my previous life as a trust fund baby, simply because the diamonds were beautiful and deserved to be worn to something that had meaning to me for once in my life. 

A knock on the door to Eliza’s house had her immediately suspicious. Peeking through the peephole of her door, I heard her immediately sigh. 

“DAMNIT CAP! Can’t you leave her alone for thirty more minutes? It’s almost time!” Eliza said through the door.

“It’s August…” I hear and smile at her likely confused face. She swings the door open to August and Walter standing off to the side, out of view.

“Sorry, from the little peephole I thought it was your brother. I swear y’all look like twins. Guess I didn’t see the mustache.” She says as she coolly turns and allows them inside. Both of them are wearing white button ups, with blazers on over them. Walter’s is blue and he’s wearing khaki pants. August is wearing all black, except the dress shirt. 

Emerging from Eliza’s bedroom, August and Walter stare at me. I am wearing my gown, and Eliza has almost finished the buttons on the back. Heading back to her task, Eliza gets behind me and continues where she left off.

Self-consciously, I shrug my shoulders and bite my lip. 

“Think it’s okay?”

“You look…” August starts but then hesitates. 

“Perfect.” Walter finishes the sentence for him and I smile.

“You asked for us?” Walter probes when nobody else speaks. 

“Yes, I had a question for you both. I know that you’re Austin’s best men, and technically there for him today but seeing as I don’t have a relationship with my family, I was wondering….well, hoping really, that you both might consider walking me down the aisle and being there for me as well. I know we haven’t known each other long, but you’ve both protected me and fought for me more than anyone else has in my life. I just…” I stop my rambling to give them a chance to answer.

“I would be honored.” Walter replies with a close-lipped smile that still feels foreign on his normally serious face and I beam back at him. 

“The only thing that could be better were if you were walking down the aisle to me.” Austin whispers quietly and my smile drops. Walter steps toward him as if anticipating the need to intervene when August speaks again.

“You are with the man you are meant to be with and everything is as it should be. I would be proud to walk you down the aisle to my brother.” He says with genuine words as he swipes his mustache with a hand unconsciously before smiling a smile that holds so many emotions that I can’t fully see the depth. Feeling the bitter sweetness that he exudes, I smile and open my arms to him. August hugs me tightly before placing a kiss to the top of my head and pulling away. I motion for Walter next as he tucks his curls behind his ears and pulls me in for a brief embrace. 

“Saw you getting cozy with Alyssa last night.” I whisper and he rolls his eyes which makes me giggle. “She’s incredible…an independent businesswoman with intelligence and grit. Not to mention, she’s single.” I arch my eyebrow at him in a way that I have become accustomed to after spending so much time with Austin doing the same.

“Okay, Al. It’s time to get you to your wedding. You can play matchmaker another day.” He brushes off my advance but I can’t help but add one more thing.

“Take a chance. Ask her for her number. You won’t regret it.” I plead, trying to fulfill a happiness that I know he craves deep down.

“Okay.” He concedes as he tries to brush my attention off of him and his dating life.

“Promise?” I refuse to give up.

“If I promise, will you let it go?” He asks conspiratorially. 

“Yes.” I say like a smug child who just got her way.

“Then, I promise.” He gives in with a look of incredulity.

“Great. I’ll be sure to ask her about it when I get back to work, because I know you won’t give me details.” I say haughtily but at this point he rolls his eyes and refuses to engage any more with me.

“How are you getting to the ceremony?” August asks. 

“Eliza’s taking me.” I say as she has finished the buttons on my dress and is now crouching down to help put the same blue suede heels on my feet as I wore last night. 

“How about I take y’all?” Walter offers and I smile.

“That would be great.” I agree.

Eliza bustles around the house, applying perfume to me, and adding more lipstick as I stand like a doll waiting for her final approval. She flits all over, muttering to herself as she checks off a mental to do list in her head. I yawn and silently thank Eliza for having the energy of two people because she certainly has more than I do at this point. August and Walter wait on the porch for us to be ready. As I have one final moment alone, I gently place my hand over my tummy, still flat much to Austin’s chagrin, and whisper to our baby.

“Mommy’s marrying daddy today…and we love each other so much, and you, that we couldn’t wait to tell the world. We're a real family.” 

Eliza bustles over to me, stunning in her royal blue dress, and hands me a bouquet of my favorite flowers; white peonies, mixed with blue hydrangeas. I smile as I look at them, before placing a hand on Eliza who is practically vibrating with excitement and responsibility.

“Thank you, for doing all of this. Thank you for being the sister and friend that I always wished I could have.”

She stills before a smile erupts over her features and pulls me into a hug so tight that I can barely breathe.

“Let’s go get you hitched.” Eliza radiated with genuine glee.

Chapter 24

A/N: I KNOW, I KNOW. I've straight up abandoned you all and I am SO sorry this chapter is just now coming out. I'll be honest, I didn't lose hope on this story at all but life just got insane and writing wasn't a priority. My daughter got the flu and then we had so many different things going on that this kept getting pushed to the end of the priority list. I wish that I could promise that it won't happen again but I'm a busy mom and that's just impossible to promise.

I do want to thank you all for your patience and hope that you find any bit of this engaging or interesting. I wasn't going to post this image until the next chapter, but I've decided to give you all a little sneak peek of our girl to hold you over until I can get the next chapter out. Here you go!

Chapter 21:

SY’S POV:

I find myself leaving the shop a bit earlier than normal so that I can run by the store and grab more Gatorade and anything that seems light and easy for an upset stomach to digest. Making my way to the pharmacy section, I quickly scan through the options and can’t seem to find any medicine that sounds right. Standing in front of the pepto bismal, I huff as I know Allie’s been drinking it straight from the bottle even but can’t seem to get any relief. Other times, she seems fine. 

“Need any help, sir?” A young pharmacy technician questions. She must be new… I know Eric was looking to hire a few extra people at the store since he was severely understaffed, but it’s still unusual for me not to know someone in the town.

“Nah.” I gruff out dismissively and she quickly breaks eye contact with me and steps back. Damn, I’m sure to a newbie I sound like a curmudgeonly jerk. Allie would tell me to fix my RBF, or resting bitch face, as she calls it, if she were here. I’ve personally never had a problem with looking mean.

“Actually, you got anything that’ll help with the stomach flu?” I quickly ask and she smiles exuberantly. 

“Oh sure, that’s all going to be right here. Could I ask your symptoms? I might be able to pick out something specific.” She bats her eyelashes, pouts her lips a bit to obviously, and fidgets her hands, adorned with sparkly purple nail polish, in front of her body.

“S’not for me. It’s for my fiancè.” I say without thinking. Why did I just lie about being engaged?

Her eyes quickly glance down as she places a somewhat crestfallen smile on her face.

“She’s had this weird stomach thing that has been lingering for days. Luckily, I’ve been able to avoid catching it but I’m just trying to make her more comfortable until she lets me take her to the doctor. She’s been drinking a lot of water, which is good, but she doesn’t want to eat anything. She will be fine sometimes, and then randomly get really nauseous and puke.”

“Hmm… Does she have a fever?”

“Not that I know of. She has been sleeping a ton though.”

“Well, it sounds like she might have an eating disorder, or-“ 

I scoff loudly. 

“She doesn’t have an eating disorder.” I assert. 

Placing her hands in the air she quickly apologizes. “I’m sorry, just trying to make a mental list of things and that’s what came to mind first.”

“S’alright...Any other theories?” I cross my arms across my chest.

“I mean, strep throat can cause you to vomit, but she would have sore throat and fever. Could she be pregnant?” She asks cautiously and looks like she’s ready to bolt if I respond with anger.

I pause for a moment and contemplate. I don’t have a clue when she last had her period, so that’s not helpful, but I know I saw her take her birth control pill yesterday. I’ve seen her take it almost every day, when we’re together. It’s got to be something else.

“She’s on birth control. She takes it every day.” I reply as I’m still reeling over a potential that I hadn’t truly considered before now.

“Just a thought! Oral contraceptives aren’t completely fail proof. Well, my guess would be gastroparesis, or potentially an issue with her gall bladder. Both would need to be seen by a physician, and nothing over the counter will fix those things. Maybe in the meantime try a different antacid, like Tums or Maalox if pepto isn’t helping.”

Leaning down, I grab a container of Tums and a bottle of Maalox and give the girl, Kate, according to her nametag, a tight-lipped smile out of courtesy. 

“I appreciate your help.” I offer.

“Sorry that I couldn’t do more. I hope your…fiance, feels better soon.” She offers and with a stiff nod, I head to checkout with the electrolytes, crackers, protein bars, and antacids.  

Pharmacy bag in hand, I head inside the house but am surprised that Allie isn’t posted up on the couch. Kicking off my boots, I wonder idly if she’s asleep upstairs. Placing the Gatorade in the fridge, I grab the crackers and a cold bottle of water and go in search of my girl. The bedroom is dark with the exception of my bedside lamp on, and the sunlight filtering in through the edge of the curtain.

Curled up in a lump on the bed, I smirk at how deeply Allie has buried herself in the covers. Placing the water and crackers down on the dresser, I walk over and sit on the edge of the bed with the intention of gently waking her up to check on her. I gently place my hand on what I assume is her covered butt and hip, only to be confused by the softness of the lump that I’m touching. Moving my hand up, I notice that the entire form is unnaturally soft and pliable. Quickly, I grab the edge of the duvet cover and fling it back dramatically, to be confronted with several pillows molded in the shape of a person. No Allie in sight. 

“What the fu—Allie!?” Jumping up in panic, I click on the lamp that sits on her nightstand. Throwing one of the pillows, I see something odd. A small piece of paper with 3 sticks under it.

My eyes are as wide as saucers when I see what’s written in front of me. Two words that I never imagined being written for me. Picking up each stick, I analyze each positive pregnancy test as my heart thunders so loudly in my chest I feel like it’s going to give out. 

“ALLIE” I yell louder than I intended only to be startled by a whispered “Austin”.

Turning around, I see Allie looking so beautiful, yet terrified as she watches me. 

“You’re really pregnant?” I ask obviously as I know the answer but the shock has yet to settle in my mind.

Allie nods as a single tear falls down her cheek. I reach for her and wipe it away as she presses her forehead against my chest. I hope she can’t hear my heart pounding through my chest. I gently kiss the top of her head, before I realize that the moment I’ve been waiting for is now.

Here I was, wracking my brain to coordinate the perfect ‘movie romantic’ moment with champagne and strawberries, in some sort of magical location… but that’s not us and it never has been. 

Gently coaxing her back from my chest, I quickly tell her,

“I need a minute.”

My old knee protests as I bolt down the stairs two at a time to get to the guest bedroom closet. High up on the top shelf, my military gear is still neatly packed in my army issued rucksack. Next to it is the thing I came for.

My army boots.

I stretch and pull them down off the shelf before digging my arm straight into the left boot to retrieve the little box that I’ve had stowed away there. Quickly and silently, I open the box. I’m sure it’s still there, but I need to put eyes on it before I ask her. It’s now or never… I tell myself.

ALLIE POV:

I feel like an absolute fool hiding behind the master bathroom door when I hear Syverson arrive home. How is he going to react? 

The urge to vomit once again creeps up my throat. My mouth fills with saliva and I quickly swallow it in an attempt to keep the nausea at bay. Remind yourself of what Eliza said. He’s going to be happy about this. He will not abandon you. Think positive. 

Syverson’s heavy footsteps climb the stairs and I hear him enter the bedroom. I hear him quietly attempt to wake my fake sleeping figure into consciousness and I physically hold my breath. The covers are flipped and I feel as if I can actually hear him trying to mentally process this news before an urgent call of my name was yelled. 

Without even intending to move, I revealed myself in the bathroom doorway and uttered his name quietly. I can’t keep the tear from falling when he asks in shock for me to confirm that it’s true, as I nod in affirmation.

My heart is pounding heavily when he reaches for me and I bury my face into his chest as I let the tears of relief trail down my cheeks. A barely-there kiss is pressed on my hair, and my shaking fingers find their grip on the edge of Sy’s leather vest. 

He’s not upset, we’re going to be okay. My body sags into his as relief washes over each of my extremities.

Silently, Syverson pulls out of our embrace and appraises my face like he’s unsure, or thinking deeply.

I would never expect what would happen next, when Syverson single handedly splintered my heart into a million pieces.

“I need a minute.” That was all he said in his gruff voice, before literally running away from me.

No! He’s leaving me. He’s leaving us. I fall to my knees as I begin hyperventilating. I can’t catch my breath due to the sobs silently racking my body. 

Oh god! What would Liza say if she were here? I imagine her rubbing my back like she did when I was sick and close my eyes to hear her voice in my head.

“Stop it Allie, he’s in shock. You were upset too when you found out but had time to come around to the idea before telling him. Give him a moment to process. His whole future just got planned in front of his eyes and even though he’s big and tough, he deserves a moment to be scared. He never had a dad, so I’m sure this is just him trying to rationalize how he can be a good father to your child.” I imagine her calming me and it reluctantly works. 

The unbridled tears still pour from my eyes, but I find my breath and focus on the simple task of inhaling and exhaling. Did he leave? I never heard the door shut, or his motorcycle crank and I know I wouldn’t be able to miss the sound of that engine no matter how deeply I was unraveling in my mind.

Sitting uncomfortably on my knees, I wipe my drenched face with my oversized sleeve as I try to compose myself. I’ve heard that undue stress can harm a baby, even this early so I must calm down. 

Suddenly, I hear Austin’s footsteps making his way toward me but I don’t dare move, or look at the door. I focus my gaze on the sun light streaming in from the edge of the curtain that illuminates a portion of the wall in front of me. Calm, I mentally remind myself as Syverson enters the bedroom once more. 

Syverson’s POV:

Upon reentering the bedroom, my hands are somewhat unsteady as the vintage box sits bulkily inside my vest pocket. I begin to ramble as I haven’t exactly prepared the proposal speech that I had intended on giving.

“This isn’t how I wanted it to go, bu—” My mouth slaps shut when I see her, sitting on her knees looking absolutely shattered. Her face is red and swollen from crying, and her hands shake as they lay limply on her lap.

Allie’s eyes are focused on the wall to my right, and her chin actually quivers with more unshed tears. My poor girl, she must be absolutely terrified to be pregnant. Could she be having second thoughts about me? Could she be regretting that she’s now stuck raising a baby with some uneducated ex-military biker mechanic? I’ve always known that she deserves better than me, but I couldn’t stop myself from falling for her.

“Sugar.” I walk towards her but she doesn’t even blink.

Crouching down so that I’m directly in her line of sight, I gently reach for her chin that still quivers slightly as she fights the urge to fully release her tears. 

“Darlin’, you’re going to be okay. I’ll make sure of that. Is that why you’re upset? Because you’re scared of having a baby?”

She doesn’t respond, so I continue to try and piece together her emotions.

“Or are you scared of having…my… baby?” I whisper as I fear she is regretting procreating with me rather than becoming a mom.

Her eyes flick off of their destination for a moment to meet mine, before returning to the wall behind me. 

“Talk to me.” I beg.

“What is there to say?" Her voice shakes from strain.

"It’s clear that you don’t want this. I didn’t mean to…it was from when I was in the hospital… apparently my birth control was ineffective. I wouldn’t have tried to trap you. I just…was hoping that you would respond better to the news.”

Oh fuck, she thinks I’m mad? “Sugar, I know you wouldn’t try to trap me. I know that.” I attempt to wipe away a stray tear from her cheek and she flinches at the motion. It feels like my heart has sunk to my ass when she did that. 

“I understand it’s a shock. It was pretty damn terrifying to me too, but if you want out, that’s o--”

“Now wait just a damn minute.” I interrupt but she’s not having it.

“No, let me finish!” She demands and the look of gumption in her eye tells me to shut the hell up so I do.

“I intend on keeping this baby, but I won’t hold you accountable. This is my choice. I make enough money to support myself and a child. I know you weren’t sure about having kids, so if you want out, this is your chance. If you decide that you would like to be involved, we can come up with a plan but I just wanted to let you know that I am keeping it.”

“You done?” I ask with bitterness that she would ever think that I could abandon her or my child. That’s the furthest thing that would ever cross my mind. She nods dismissively.

“I am terrified. I’m terrified that you don’t feel secure enough in our relationship to think that I would ever abandon you or our baby in a million years.” I say vulnerably. Her eyes meet mine and we both share a look of hurt on our faces.

“I thought you were leaving me.” She confesses in an almost silent broken whisper , as her eyes glance at the bedroom door and back.

FUCK. My brain finally stops short circuiting and makes the connection that I was missing. Allie thought I was leaving her when I took off to get the ring. Damnit, you’re such a fucking idiot Syverson. I wipe my hand across my face in frustration at my own stupidity. I really fucked up.

“No, sugar. I never ever would have left you. This is a big miscommunication on my part and I’m so sorry.” I apologize genuinely before taking a deep breath and continuing.

“I didn’t plan to do this, this way. I wanted it to be romantic like somethin’ from one of those smutty books you think that I don’t know you read.” I chuckle lightly at the surprise mixed with confusion on her face and continue. 

Leaning up on one knee, I reach for the small box in my chest pocket before removing it.

“I’m not always great with words, and I clearly am an idiot for not explaining that I was just going to get something and come right back to you. All I know is this. I love you. More than I ever thought it was possible to love someone. You came into my life like a hurricane and changed me for the better in so many ways. I have never felt more complete and fulfilled than I have since I met you. I can’t imagine a day without you by my side. I realized that when I almost lost you.” I tell her with meaning. 

“Earlier, I needed a minute to go and get this from its hiding spot. I know this isn’t the most romantic way to do this, but I just... couldn’t wait another minute.” I say before carefully opening the tiny box to reveal the engagement ring that belonged to my mother. Her eyes widen as she looks down on the vintage ring that has been passed down in my mother’s family for decades.

I open my mouth to speak those four words that are on the tip of my tongue but Allie interrupts me.

“You don’t have to do this. You don’t have to marry me because I’m pregnant. I know that people talk and especially in the south, that it’s ‘the responsible thing to do’ but… you don’t have to feel like you have to marry me.”

I want to chuckle at her obliviousness but smartly refrain.

“Sugar, I wanted to propose to you on that first date. I couldn’t imagine anyone more perfect, or outta my league than you, but I just knew that I’d eventually fuck up and I’d scare you away. I’ve been planning this for weeks. I’m not asking for any reason other than because I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you.” I search her eyes to make sure that she feels my sincerity. 

She covers her mouth gently with one hand as I’m speaking and I hope that’s a good sign.

“So?” I prompt when everything gets quiet and I’m still on one knee and she has yet to speak as the tears still soak her cheeks.

“So, what? You didn’t ask a question…” She hints sarcastically and I realize, like the idiot I am, that I never said the words out loud during all of my rambling. Looking at the floor with a silent chuckle, I hear her soft giggle and want to pull her into my arms but I refrain.

“Allie Hilton, will you marry me?” I ask slowly and clearly as I ignore the ache in my bum knee that has all of my weight on it.

Allie’s tearful face breaks into a beaming smile as she nods and whispers, “Yes”.

My eyes close momentarily in relief as a smile takes over my face before I pull the ring from its box. It's a unique ring with a gold band. The main diamond is in the center and is surrounded by smaller diamonds, almost resembling the shape of a flower.

“This was my mother’s engagement ring…and her mother’s and her mother’s ring. I don’t know much about ring styles, so if it’s not fashionable or what you want, I’d be happy to get you another one.” I offer sincerely.

“Are you fucking kidding me? It’s stunning! I…I’m speechless.” Allie replies as I slide it on her third left finger. Leaning forward, still on her knees, Allie pulls me in for a hurried, frantic kiss that I happily return before I place kisses all over her face.

“I’m sorry that I’m a dipshit and ran out like that. I was trying to find a way to make it romantic, but I just knew I couldn’t last another minute without making you my fiance.” I tell her and she giggles. 

“That was really stupid, babe.” She replies and I hang my head in shame. 

“I’ll make it up to you, anyway you want. We can have a repeat proposal where I do it right and don’t make a mess of things.” I offer.

She pretends to consider for a moment before shaking her head. “We’ve never been anything but messy…it’s what works for us apparently.” Allie smiles. 

“True.” I grunt as I finally pull myself up off of my knee, before offering my hand and pulling Allie up off of the hard floor. 

She smiles excitedly as she admires the ring that adorns her finger as I wrap my arms around her tiny frame. Seeing that ring after so many years tugs at my heart in a good way. It's like my mom is here with us in spirit.

“She would’ve loved you…my ma.” I tell her and she looks at me with so much love mixed with sadness.

“I wish more than anything that I could have met her. I always dreamed of having a loving, genuine mother my entire life. I know I would’ve loved her so much. I do simply for her raising you to be so wonderful.” 

“She always said she couldn’t wait for each of us boys to get married. Said she was desperate for another woman that could put up with our nonsense so that they could commiserate together about all of our shenanigans and too much testosterone.” I chuckle as I begin to tell Allie the memory of my mom standing in the kitchen, flour covering her hair and the entire room from where we had grabbed a handful, before throwing it in the air and screaming ‘SNOW DAY!’. 

“She made us all clean the kitchen from top to bottom that night but God, I’d do anything to hear her laugh at our expense with flour caked into our curly brown hair.”

“How old were you when y’all did that?” Allie asked with amusement.

“Old enough to know better. I think Walt and I were fourteen, and August was sixteen.” I smirk.

“She shook a wooden spoon at us when she said, ‘Just wait. If you each can successfully find a woman that will put up with you long enough to give you children, I’ll get my revenge in the form of karma. I hope you each get three rowdy boys that you have to keep from becoming delinquents. Your wives and I will all have girls’ nights and you boys will be stuck on dad duty while we bond.’ We just rolled our eyes, because wives and kids were the last things on our minds at that point in our lives.” I recount as Allie and I sway slightly from side to side in our embrace.

"Out of the three of us, we all knew Walt would be the first to make that jump; marriage and family. Then it was supposed to be me. I don't think Ma actually ever really imagined August getting married. She always called him a 'free spirit.' That's why she made sure that I got the ring in her will."

“And now you’re getting married and going to be a dad.” Allie looks up at me with a nervous smile.

“I’m going to be a dad and you’re going to be a mom.” I respond with a crooked smile before kissing her forehead.

“I hope that I will be a good dad.” I mutter quietly as I think about growing up without my dad.

“You will be. I know it.” Allie reassures.

“I love you, and I love this baby so much already.” I whisper before I lean down to press my lips to Allie’s. 

“I swear to you, I will give you the family that you have always deserved. You will be an amazing mother and our baby and I am so lucky to have you.” My hands frame each side of her face as I speak to her before pressing her into a kiss that is much more heated than I intended. Allie reciprocates and before I realize it, her shirt is off, and I’m down to my boxers.

“We should” kiss “stop” kiss “hold off until” kiss “we know the baby is safe”. I mutter distractedly as Allie has moved the paper and pregnancy tests off of the bed before I’m on my back and she’s straddling me with hot, heavy kisses that have had my little soldier at attention since her tongue touched mine.

Pulling out of the kiss, Allie perches herself upright with her hands on my pecs and her warm heat, covered only by her tiny panties, directly over my bulge which causes me to grunt from the incredible pressure. I force my eyes off of her perfect breasts when she speaks.

“The baby will be fine. I called Eliza’s OB/GYN and set up a new patient appointment for two weeks from now. That’s the earliest availability that they had for an ultrasound. We’ve had plenty of sex already while I’ve been unknowingly pregnant.” Allie states.

“I just don’t want to hurt you, or her.” I say without thinking.

“Her? You think it’s a girl?” Allie’s eyebrow arches.

“Yeah, I don’t know why. What do you think it is?”

“A boy.” Allie states confidently.

“You seem confident in your prediction.” 

“I mean, it’s a 50/50 either way, but I have a feeling that your mama will make sure that it’s a boy.” She smirks and I smile.

“You’re probably right.” I admit.

“I’m always right. Now, if you’ll hurry up and make love to me because I don’t feel like puking for the first time in days and I want to take advantage of it.”

 “Yes ma’am.” I mock salute at her before she grinds against me again and leans over to rub her bare chest against my hairy one. 

We lay in bed in our post coital bliss as Allie slowly eats the protein bar that I had brought upstairs and sips on the water. We were discussing ordering dinner, while trying to come up with anything that wouldn’t make Allie heave when her phone kept buzzing on the dresser. 

“Oh shit!” Allie says before she sits up quickly and then yells as she clutches her abdomen with a deep breath and her eyes closed tightly.

Immediately, I’m panicking. 

“Sugar, what’s wrong? What hurts?” I jump up, throwing my boxers on and grabbing a clean t-shirt to put on Allie so I can take her to the emergency room.

“I’m okay. No need to worry.” She breathes before acting completely unbothered and I look at her like she’s gone mad.

“We’re going to the emergency room. That’s not normal.” 

“Yes, it is. I did a lot of research online this afternoon. It’s happened a few times this week but I didn’t know what it was. It’s called round ligament pain.”

“What the fuck is that?” I ask grumpily.

“My uterus is stretching, and sudden movements like sitting up quickly, sneezing, coughing, etc, can give you this intense shooting pain in your abdomen. It feels like getting a stitch in your side from running.” She says, casually.

“I don’t know if my adrenaline can handle this pregnancy.” I joke as help Allie put my oversized t-shirt on and she shakes her head with laughter.

“Better do some reading online or you’re going to give yourself a stroke.” Allie pokes fun before I stick my tongue out at her. 

“What made you jump so quick in the first place?” I ask and she remembers. 

“My phone. I swore to Liza that I’d call her as soon as I told you… She’s probably freaking out.” She starts trying to climb out of the bed but I stop her. 

“I’ll bring your phone to you. Lay down.”

“Is this how you’re going to treat me the whole pregnancy? I’m not going to lie, I kinda like the idea of being waited on hand and foot.” She smarts and I shake my head at her.

“Don’t get used to it.” I lie, because we both know I’ll literally become her personal slave if it helps her to rest and grow our baby.

Handing her the cell phone that has been vibrating repeatedly on the dresser for the last twenty minutes, I see that Liza is blowing up her phone. 

“Why did Eliza know that you’re pregnant before I did?” I ask somewhat jokingly, but also somewhat concerned that she was so afraid to tell me.

“She is the reason I found out at all. She brought it up, that my food aversions were similar to her sister’s when she was pregnant. I told her that I couldn’t possibly be pregnant because I’m on birth control but then she reminded me that I had my stomach pumped at the hospital. She went to the store and brought me the pregnancy tests. She was with me when I found out it was positive and then held my hair while I puked, and calmed me down. She’s been…like a real sister to me…especially today.” Allie says and I smile at my self procvlaimed little sister. She’s a tough shell to crack, but Eliza is the most loyal person that I know. The fact that she got on so well with Allie initially made me happy, but since then she’s truly become someone that Allie can trust. That’s huge for someone who has never really had a genuine, loyal friend before in her life.  

ALLIE POV:

Syverson agrees to call in a food order when I finally decided that something sounded good. I suddenly wanted mozzarella sticks, like the fried kind you could get at a restaurant for an appetizer. I wanted those, and oddly enough, really wanted watermelon slices. Syverson just chuckled and said he’d order from as many places as I wanted if I would get some food down. He climbed in the bed beside me before getting out his phone to start his dinner search, while I rested back against my pillow and checked my phone.

Sure enough, Eliza had called three times and sent six text messages. 

God, she’s such a loyal friend. Glancing at the time I see that it’s 7:46pm, and quickly, I decide to text her back.

Deciding to facetime her, I sit up and fluff my hair a bit so it doesn’t look like we just had sex even though it’s probably obvious that we did.

Answering before the second ring, I see Eliza’s normally calm, collected expression is one of worry.

“Oh my god, Al. I’ve been going crazy. What happened?” She hurriedly asks.

“Well, there was a bit of a miscommunication, but it’s okay now.” I reply as I glance at Syverson who has the sense to at least look slightly embarrassed. I continue before Eliza explodes.

“I told him, and he said, “I need a minute” and left. I thought he was leaving me…and the baby but he was actually going to get this.” I say before I hold up my left hand into the screen.

A momentary pause fills the space before Eliza erupts into a full-fledged scream that even has Austin laughing freely.

A moment later, Bananas comes running into the background in panic asking Eliza what’s wrong. The screen then gets blurry as Eliza is jumping up and down before thrusting the phone at Banana’s face.

“What the….NO SHIT!” He blurts with surprise when he sees the sparkly diamonds on the screen.

“He finally did it! Hot damn!” Bananas yells and I can’t help but look over at Austin who can’t help but grin at our friend’s celebration on our behalf. 

“I thought Eliza had seen a bug or something with that horrible screech, but this is so much better!” He adds as Eliza has composed herself enough to smack his shoulder playfully. 

“You knew?” Eliza asked Bananas and he nods like a mischevious child.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” She squints her eyes at him in faux anger and he just shrugs.

“Rebel business, baby. Cap woulda killed me if I spilled the beans.” He says and Eliza rolls her eyes.

“Cap, that ring is stunning. It’s so fitting to Allie’s personality too. You did good.” Eliza compliments and I smile with a nose scrunch.

“Even better that it’s been passed down through the women on his mom’s side of the family. It makes it that much more special.” 

“Ahh, that’s so precious!” Eliza gushes while Banana’s is mimicking her like a child in the backgound.

“I can still see you in the reflection of the phone, idiot.” She says without drama before throwing a roll of socks from a laundry pile at him, which he dodges at the last second.

“Do you see the abuse I have to put up with?” He yells and she proceeds to throw another roll of socks at him before turning her attention back to the phone.

“So, did y’all decide to get married before the baby comes or after?” 

“WHAT?” Bananas screams as he runs back up to the phone and Eliza who has wide eyes.

“Are you pregnant?” He asks and I glance at Sy before nodding yes.

“HOLY SHIT! Cap’s gonna be a daddy! I can’t wait to see him carrying a diaper bag!” Banana’s chides and Austin just rolls his eyes. 

“Wait a minute, you knew she was pregnant and didn’t tell me, but gave me shit for not telling you that he was going to propose? How is that fair?” 

“Girl code.” She shrugs with a smug smile before winking at me through the screen.

“Honestly, I don’t know when we’re going to get married. Tonight’s been a whirlwind and we haven’t even had a moment to discuss it.” I answer truthfully before Austin adds on.

“We aren’t getting married because she’s pregnant though. Bananas knows I was trying to come up with a proposal plan in a few weeks. I just couldn’t wait for the perfect moment any longer.” Austin winks at me.

“When is the baby going to make his or her spectacular appearance?” Bananas asks as he lays across the bed with his arm around Liza.

“That, I don’t exactly know. I couldn’t get a doctor’s appointment until a little over two weeks from now, so I don’t know how far along I am. That being said, if you could just keep this to yourselves, at least until we know that the baby is actually in there and has a heartbeat and stuff, I would really appreciate it.” I ask.

“You got it.” Eliza agrees.

“Thank you so much for being there for me, Eliza. I don’t even…I can’t come up with the right words to thank you, but you’re the only genuine friend that I’ve ever had.” I say somewhat shyly.

“Girl, we’re practically sisters now. I’m so grateful that Cap is finally settling down with someone I adore.” She smiles and I beam back at her.

“Cap, I’m so glad you’re my bestie. Remember all of those nights in the desert when we had pillow fights, painted our toenails, and cuddled?” Bananas says in a feminine voice as he pretends to kick his legs in the air to make fun of us.

“Shut up.” Eliza pinches him and he squeals like a girl.

“OW! Hey!” He hollers and she laughs at the sound he made.

“I bet you screamed just like that when you saw a bug over in the desert too.” She snarks.

“You would too! Some of those bugs were the size of my fist.” He defends and we all laugh at him.

After repeating the whole story to them about the miscommunication, followed by Eliza telling Sy he was an absolute idiot for running after I told him my news, we got off the phone due to our dinner arriving. 

Austin made me stay in bed, claiming my eventful afternoon put too much stress on me and the baby. We decided to put on a fun, light-hearted movie while I happily chomped on my a la carte dinner in bed.

Before the movie was finished, Sy and I had both fallen asleep with my head on his chest and one hand lightly on my abdomen.

On our baby.

Chapter 23

Chapter 20:

ALLIE’S POV

I wake to a violent pang of nausea and roll to see that Syverson is already out of bed. Cursing myself for drinking so much last night, I try to get comfortable in bed hoping that sleep will ease the urge to vomit. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work. Moments later, I’m running to the toilet and dramatically regurgitating all of the alcohol that I thought it was a good idea to consume the night prior. Once finished, I brush my teeth and head back to bed. Austin wakes me up about two hours later holding a cup of coffee.

“Good morning, sleeping beauty.” He mutters and places the coffee on the nightstand.

I groan as the aroma that normally fills me with comfort, becomes distasteful and nauseating due to the hangover that I’m currently nursing. Grunting, I slide further under the covers.

“You okay?” He says as he notices this is not my usual demeanor.

“Hungover.” I mutter and Sy simply grunts.

“Try some coffee and I’ll get some bread to help soak up the alcohol in your stomach.” He suggests but I shake my head.

“No coffee, just water please.” I beg as he stands to leave the room.

“You sure?” Sy asks as he picks up my mug.

“Mhmm. I can’t think about coffee right now.” I say with an err of disgust and he chuckles before taking a sip of it and making his own disgusting face.

“I don’t know how you drink this shit, it’s too sweet.”  He says as he looks at the coffee with a generous pour of my favorite creamer before leaving the bedroom.

When he returns, I drink some water and eventually am able to hold down some plain toast. 

“I didn’t think you were that drunk last night.” He says when I finish.

“Yeah, I think all of the celebrations with Eliza and Banana’s engagement had me excited and drinking more than usual.” I suggest and he nods in agreement. 

“Sorry I’m not much fun today.” I murmur and Sy sweetly kisses my head. 

“How about a lazy day in bed? We can watch movies and just relax?” He suggests and I smile widely. 

“Sounds perfect.” 

We spend the majority of the day, lying in bed and a few hours later I’m feeling much better. Sy even indulges the rare lazy day and naps with me. Maybe a little R&R is exactly what I needed.

That night, surprisingly still tired, I fall asleep halfway through our last movie, Home Alone. Unbeknownst to me, Sy smirks at my sleeping figure before eventually turning out the lights and pulling the covers up on me.

SYVERSON'S POV:

Waking up at 5 am, I’m surprised to see that Allie isn’t next to me. Sitting up and turning on the lamp, I realize she’s in the bathroom. Must’ve gotten up to pee or something. Tossing on some shorts so I can go workout in the garage, I knock on the bathroom door.

“Sugar? Mind if I come in?” I ask, my voice cloaked in sleep.

I wait a moment and there is no answer so I carefully open the bathroom door to find Allie asleep in front of the toilet, her head resting on a rolled-up towel. 

“Darlin’?” I begin to panic and shake her, my mind immediately going back to her being drugged just a mere two months ago. 

Allie squints at the light and groans as she covers her eyes.

“What’s wrong?” I ask with urgency that Allie does not mirror.

“Sick.” She says quietly.

“There’s no way you’re still hungover.” I state and she looks at me like I’m Captain Obvious.

“Must’ve picked up a tummy bug somewhere.” She whispers as I bend and pick her up under her neck and knees.

“No, Sy. I’m gonna get you sick. Stay away.” She feebly attempts to pull away from me but I ignore her as I carry her to the bed. 

“Sugar, I’ve had my tongue in your mouth as recently as last night and then slept all night with you in my arms. Whatever you’ve got, I’m already exposed. I’m not worried about it. Just worried about you.” I say sincerely and she snuggles against me.

Getting the bathroom trashcan, I put it beside the bed and go grab her a water and some pepto bismal, placing it on her nightstand. She’s already immediately fallen back asleep, so I kiss her forehead and head to the garage to work out. When I return, she’s still out cold and I shower and get ready for work since it’s now Monday. Maybe I should call in and stay home with her.

I attempt to discreetly check her forehead for a fever and she begins to stir.

“Didn’t mean to wake you… You need anything?” I offer and she just shakes her head.

“Want me to take the day off so I can be home with you?” I offer and she shakes her head again.

“I’ll be fine. I'm going to text Alyssa and let her know. Think I’m just going to sleep all day. I’m super tired. Head on to work and I’ll call you when I wake up.” Allie directs and I nod before kissing her head.

“I love you.” I tell her before leaving the bed.

“Love you too.” She responds groggily.

The next three days are spent with Allie being sick. Sometimes she feels bad in the mornings, yet other times she’s throwing up in the afternoon. She tells me that she usually feels much better after getting sick, but I’m becoming concerned. We’re on day five of her not wanting to eat and barely sipping on Gatorade and water. I asked her to let me take her to the doctor, but she refused claiming she just didn’t want to deal with anything doctor related since she was in hospital. 

“These viral things just tend to drag on. You know how that is. There is nothing the doctor will do for me other than tell me to push fluids and rest.” She claims. She hasn't ran a fever, but she believes that she has the flu.

Her ‘accident’ still being recent has me worried that something more serious is going on in her body. Could she have liver or kidney issues potentially? Would this be a potential side effect from the drugs that were in her system? Maybe the fluids and medicines that she received in the hospital helped at the time, but without them her body was suffering from side effects that were masked before? Hell, I’m not medically minded at all, but as I work on the engine of an old bronco, I find my mind continuously worrying about her.

Fuck it, if she isn’t better by tomorrow, I’m taking her to the doctor whether she likes it or not. Huffing in determination, I continue to work and hope the hours pass by quickly.

ALLIE’S POV:

It’s the wildest thing, this morning I was feeling much better when I woke up, so I did my bathroom routine, and headed to the kitchen to attempt some breakfast. Nothing sounded particularly appetizing, but I knew that under no circumstances did I want coffee. The thought of it alone made me gag. Whatever this stomach bug is, needs to hurry up and get out of my system. 

Perusing through the pantry, I decide a banana seems agreeable. Munching on it, I look around for something else that I could pair it with. I had an overwhelming urge to drink orange juice, which was not something I usually did. I figured, maybe my body was just craving some vitamin C and sugar after days of feeling sick. Pouring myself a glass, I continue my search for food when the doorbell rings. Who could that be?

Peering out of the peephole, believe me I learned my lesson not to just blindly open the door; I am surprised to see Eliza looking as stunning as ever on the porch. Opening the door, I smile widely at her and see that she’s holding a brown bag. 

“Hi babe!” She chirps as I wave pitifully, squinting at the sun illuminating the doorway like I’m a mole person who just climbed out from being underground. It’s not far from the truth.

“You should know that I’m still sick”, I say as I step back from her in an attempt to keep from exposing her to whatever plague is running its course through my body.

“I know, that’s why I’ve brought you breakfast! Figured, it’s a beautiful warm day out and some fresh air could do you good!” She tilts her head toward the porch rocking chairs. I smile with pure gratefulness emanating from my body. She’s such a good friend. 

“Are you sure? I don’t want you to catch this.” I add and Eliza grins behind her sunglasses. 

“I promise to keep a 3-foot distance at all times.” She adds and I giggle.

Following her outside, we set up on the porch rocking chairs and I pull mine away from hers just in case. 

She places down a disposable coffee cup, and I attempt to cover my disgust. Handing me a breakfast croissant, I smile in relief as it actually is more appealing to me than anything has been in days and hum as I take the first bite.

“You are the best friend ever… seriously! This is the first food that I’ve wanted to eat since Saturday.” I admit as Eliza flips her hair off her shoulder and boasts.

“I try! I bet Sy’s a decent nurse… only to you though.” 

Nodding as I swallow my mouthful, I respond. “He’s really been trying and I’m so grateful. I’ve never really had anyone take care of me when I was sick before. My parents never wanted to risk catching an illness that would potentially take them away from their job or social lives, so growing up I would essentially quarantine myself until I was better and only then could I rejoin the family. My mom would have the house keepers disinfect the entire house, focusing on my room. It would smell like Clorox for two months after I had even a slight cold. My meals were placed at the foot of my door like I was in prison.” I giggle at the memory. 

Shaking her head, Eliza thinks about her response before speaking. “I had the opposite and I guess I didn’t realize how lucky I was at the time. I would legitimately lay on my mom for days whenever I was sick. Her presence alone brought me comfort. I can’t imagine not having that as a kid.” Shrugging my shoulders, I steady my breath.

“I don’t think my mother’s presence ever really brought me comfort, so I didn’t mind much.”

We continue to eat and I’m feeling a bit more energized but I force myself to take slow bites in hopes of keeping my food down.

“Did I get the wrong coffee? You haven’t touched it.” Eliza observes.

Shyly and nervous that she will be offended, I decide to answer honestly. 

“No, no! Not at all. This is beyond thoughtful, like I have never had anyone other than Sy do something like this so I am incredibly thankful. It’s just, for some reason, with this illness the thought of coffee makes me want to hurl. I haven’t had any since Saturday morning. It’s so strange! Like, even thinking about the smell makes me want to vomit.” 

Eliza looks at me strangely before speaking, “That’s crazy. It’s almost like a pregnancy aversion.” 

Arching my eyebrow, I urge her to explain.

“My older sister had all of these aversions to certain foods that she typically loved, but only while she was pregnant. She threw up trying to force down a bite of her own birthday cake one year.” She laughs at the memory.

“Huh, that is crazy…I take birth control though, every day at the same time. I’m very consistent.” I inform her, dismissing the thought as soon as it entered my brain.

“Still, lots of babies have been conceived while on birth control. It’s not exactly 100% effective.” Eliza mentions and I set down my breakfast sandwich. 

“Surely not…I mean, I can’t be.” I add.

“When was your last period?” 

“Honestly, I don’t remember…” Horror takes over my features as I consider the possibility as my brain searches frantically to recall my last period. Somehow, the dates seem to all run together. 

“I’ll run to town and buy a test.” Eliza offers and I nod vacantly.

“Okay…thank you.” I manage.

Grabbing her purse, Eliza dashes off of the porch to her car. Remaining on the porch almost motionless, I try my hardest to think back to the last time I used a tampon or even bought some. Why don’t I keep this in an app on my phone?! I chastise myself internally. I’ve never had a pregnancy scare, but I also always used oral contraceptives as well as condoms…until recently. Until Austin Syverson.

Austin and I have been having sex without any protection other than my daily pill. God, I’m such an idiot. What if I’m actually pregnant? Sy isn’t even certain about marriage! I don’t know how he would react to a baby. We haven’t even been together for six months yet. We are just getting on our feet as a couple and this, this could ruin everything. I’ve already brought him so much trouble as it is. Will he think that I planned this? Like I planned to trap him? Will he leave me? No! I trust that he would be there for me and our baby, but that doesn’t mean he would want it. He might resent me for the rest of his life for confining him into a family that he didn’t want. Chewing on the inside of my lip to distract myself from my chaotic thoughts and the nausea that has washed over me, I shakily stand when Eliza returns.

Handing me a white plastic bag with THANK YOU printed in bold letters across it, she gives me a look of concern.

“You okay?” Tears well into my eyes as I shrug a response.

“Do you want me to call Sy? I’m sure he’d come--“ 

“No! No… I don’t want to worry him. There’s still a chance that it could be a false alarm.” I decide and Eliza nods.

“Will you stay?” I ask her and she smiles with concern before pulling me into a hug.

“Of course, I’ll stay. I’m here for you babes.” She speaks against my shoulder as we embrace and I’m so grateful that she’s here.

We head inside and to the master bathroom, completely ignoring the possibility that I’m contagious. Eliza perches on the end of the bed. 

“I got two brands. One is pink and the other is blue and has a digital response. I say take them both so that there’s no confusion.” Eliza pulls the boxes out of the bag, opens them and hands me the pee sticks.

“Is this your first pregnancy scare?” She asks gently and I nod.

“Until Sy, I’ve always used my birth control and condoms. In the back of my mind, I feel like I knew Spencer was the type to cheat and didn’t want to risk an STD exposure.” 

“Smart thinking. That douchebag probably has some now, in prison.” She smirks and it helps just for a moment to distract me from the tension.

“Well, no sense in waiting any longer.” I say before heading into the bathroom.

“I’ll be right here.” Eliza states.

Peeing on the tests is actually more difficult than I had imagined, but I replace the caps and set them down on the bathroom counter before washing my hands and returning to Eliza who starts at timer on her phone. 

Eliza attempts to distract me from the obvious, when my phone starts ringing on the bed.

“It’s Austin. He must be taking a break for lunch.” I tell her and she smiles, urging me to answer.

“Hello?”

“Hey Sugar. How’re ya feeling?”

“Hey babe. I’m doing okay right now. You breaking for lunch?”

“Yeah, that and I couldn’t stop worrying about ya. Wanted to check in.” 

“I’m fine, you don’t need to worry! I’m actually here with Eliza. She stopped by to bring me a breakfast sandwich. We ate on the porch and enjoyed the sun.”

“Ah, that’s nice. She’s real thoughtful to do that.”

“I know! It was exactly what I needed too.”

“You were able to eat it and keep it down?” He asks.

“So far.” I reply with hope in my voice.

“Excellent. Well listen, if you’re not better by tomorrow, I’m taking ya to the doctor and I don’t want to hear nothing else about it.” He gets authoritative which shouldn’t be such a turn on to me, but it is and he knows it. 

“Syyyy…” I whine and he interrupts.

“You heard me. You’ve been living off of Gatorade and toast. This is me communicating with you; I am worried and would like you to at least be seen by a doctor. Please.” He says and I sigh. 

“Okay, if I’m not better by tomorrow, you can take me to the doctor.” I repeat and dart my eyes to Eliza.

“Thank you.” Syverson croons into the phone, a bit smug because he won so easily.

“I’m going to get back to chatting with ‘Liza, but I hope you enjoy your lunch.”

“Sounds good, Darlin’. Love you.”

“I love you too.” I reply before ending the call and taking a deep breath.

“I’ve never, ever heard Sy so down bad before. He’s like a completely different person with you!” Eliza gushes and I smile. Eliza’s timer goes off, bringing us back to the issue at hand and my smile quickly drops. 

We both stand and make our way to the bathroom where the tests are face down on the counter.

“Ready?” Eliza asks and I force the nausea that threatens to spill out, back down before nodding.

I flip over both of the tests and the answer is clear.

Two parallel pink lines are displayed in the tiny window of the first test. 

The second test, has the word PREGNANT in black letters across the digital screen.

Taking a deep breath as tears fill my eyelids, I turn to the toilet and vomit spectacularly into the bowl. Heaving the contents of my stomach back up, I feel Eliza pulling my hair away from my face and gently rubbing my back. The contact startles me momentarily, but I’m grateful for it as it distracts me briefly from the disgusting act of puking, along with the real reason that I have been so sick.

Flushing the toilet, I turn and sit against the wall while Eliza wets a washcloth and hands it to me. 

Taking it gratefully, I manage to mutter a quiet, “thank you.”

Eliza kicks off her shoes, and sits down on the floor next to me as we process the news in silence.

Eliza doesn’t dare speak, until she hears the soft sniffles from my nose as I try to convince my tears to remain in my eyes. 

“Hey, it’s going to be okay.” She reassures as she wraps me in a hug. 

“I know this must be a huge shock, but you’re going to be an incredible mom! And Syverson, God, he was meant to be a dad. He’s looked out for me like a big brother for years so I can’t even begin to imagine how amazing of a father he will be.” 

“How…” sniffle... “How did this happen? I mean, I haven’t missed any birth control pills. I even took them on time when I was in the hospital!” My tears now fall freely down my face and Eliza begins to look pensive.

“Didn’t they pump your stomach while you were in the hospital?”

Realization dawns on me as I think back to the hospital. A very faint memory enters my head. I was trying to get the doctors and nurses to discharge me, and they had me sign different pages of a packet. I was exhausted from being sick, and groggy from not sleeping well, so by the third page I just started signing without really reading them. I vaguely remember the nurse, Kaitlyn I think was her name, mentioning the word contraception. Slapping my palm to my forehead, the tears continue to stream down my face involuntarily.

“This is my fault. I’m such an idiot.” I mutter and Eliza entertwines our fingers together as she holds my hand.

“It’s not your fault.” 

“It is though. I didn’t pay much attention to the discharge spiel and then that weekend, I told Sy that we could go without protection.”

“I mean, I think all of us have been there. It could have happened to any of us!”

“At least you know that Bananas wants to marry you. I’ll raise my kids with a boyfriend or a husband who marries me out of pity or some old school sense of moral duty. This isn’t how I planned on having kids, you know? I don’t have a family. My kids won’t have grandparents that sneak them candy and take them to the fair. I don’t even know how to be a mother! It’s not like I was raised by anyone particularly kind or motherly.” I spill the worries without hardly taking a breath, feeling like if I don’t spiral now, I’ll push the thoughts down and explode inconveniently later.

"Austin has never even mentioned kids to me… I never brought it up because things were so new and I didn’t want to scare him away!”

“Take a breath, Allie! I have known Austin Syverson for years, and I know for a fact that he will be over the moon. He may be shocked at first, but he will be so excited to have a baby with you. He’s amazing with kids and I know how much he loves you.” Eliza reassures.

Continuing to chew on my lip as I attempt to calm down, I look at Eliza. 

“If he leaves me, I’ll have nothing. I…don’t think I can do this alone.” I whisper my biggest and most vulnerable fear.

“He will not leave you, and I am 1000% positive that you won’t be alone. You really think me, Annie, and the rest of the crew would allow that? Hell, Bananas will probably be so excited that he’ll try to get into the delivery room!” She jokes lightheartedly and my stomach turns at the thought of having to push a whole ass baby out of my vagina. Especially if it takes after Syverson’s monstrous stature. Eliza chuckles at the face I make before standing and pulling me up off of the bathroom floor. We head into the bedroom and lay side by side on the large king bed.

“How are you going to tell him?” She asks.

“I have no idea.” I answer honestly.

“Okay, when are you going to tell him?” I don’t respond and Eliza turns to look at me. 

“There isn’t a man alive more perceptive than Austin Syverson. He was literally trained to sniff secrets out of people... He may not think like a woman, but if he gets even the smallest feeling that something is off, he will hound you until you fess up. I’m just saying, save yourself the energy of trying to dodge the conversation. It will be better for both of you to face it head on and get it out in the open.”

“What if he wants me to…get rid of it? I…I can’t do that ‘Liza. I know that I’m the least person in the world qualified to be a mom, because I’ve never had a good role model of one and my life has had more drama than most soap operas. I can’t explain it right, but the moment I knew that there was a baby in there, I imagined it. It’s like this protective feeling that overcame me.”

“That’s love, Allie. You love your baby already.” She smiles sincerely. 

“That means you’ll be a good mom, regardless of your family history. You love your child and already want to protect him or her.” Tears fill my eyelids once more as her words sink in.

She’s right. I do love this little baby and will protect it no matter what.

“Syverson will want you to keep it. He told me once years ago, when he was very drunk, that he wished he could have a family of his own.” Eliza shares and I lay back once more with a soft smile taking my features. 

Taking a deep, calming breath, I close my eyes and imagine Austin as a father. I picture him caressing my swollen belly, kissing my forehead in the hospital, his proud smile as he holds up a little chubby baby wrapped in blankets. I picture all three of us, walking down the street with our child perched on his shoulders, giggling happily, as we hold hands. Suddenly, the excitement of all of the possibilities seem to overtake the dread I originally felt. 

So many years of my life, I have been indoctrinated to believe that anyone of our social status that got pregnant out of wedlock was simply a classless floozy who was bound to end up alone, mooching off of their parent’s wealth for the rest of their life. 

“No respectable man would want a woman who already has a child that belongs to someone else. She’s essentially damaged goods now. Nobody wants to be stuck raising a little brat that isn’t even their blood.” I recall my father blathering after rumors that one of the opulent members of the country club, Sarah Robertson, had become pregnant from a one-night stand. I knew that I felt differently, but I had yet to find my voice. My parents were extremely clear that if I were to embarrass them in that manner, they would disown me and I would be financially cut off. My mother preached that you had to satisfy your man’s needs in the bedroom in order to keep him, but under no circumstances should you carelessly get pregnant and keep it before marriage. Mistakes like that were almost always, ‘quietly taken care of.’ There was an order that must be followed in order to maintain our social dignity. I always thought it was extremely vain, but my parent’s vanity was their main personality characteristic so in an attempt to please them, I did exactly what they told me too. 

Until, I didn’t.

Until I chose to step out and make a life for myself that wasn’t given to me. One that I had earned by taking a risk, believing in myself, and working hard. It led me to freedom and independence. It led me to Austin. It led me to this group of dangerous bikers who have become my family. Now, it was going to lead me to motherhood and I will not allow my former shame to affect my future happiness.

I break the silence in the room when I softly utter, “I’m going to be a mom!” Eliza nods with happiness as I smile astonishingly back at her. Tears, now a result of joy, begin to slip down the sides of my face, tickling my skin with their path. Caressing my nonexistent bump, I laugh in relief through the sobs of happiness that we will be our own version of a family.

The shock of this unpredictable news tilts from horror, to excitement. I pray that Eliza's right about Austin, because he’ll be home in four hours and I am going to tell him.

He's going to be a daddy.

We are going to have a baby. Half Austin, Half me.

Now to figure out how to tell him…

Chapter 22

A/N: Me while writing this:

Chapter 19

Allie’s POV: 

We spend a blissful afternoon together, and I feel certain that things are on the right track with Austin and I once again so I allow myself to fully relax into his presence. We eventually get ourselves dressed up and head to the bar where all of the Rebels who are stateside are in attendance, with their wives and girlfriends. Corralled in the Rebel’s section of the bar, we are all having an amazing time laughing and catching up. Eliza and Bananas are extra lovey with each other and it makes me so happy for them. I really like Bananas, and Eliza has turned into one of my closest confidants. I’ve known her for such a short time, but feel closer to her than I ever felt with any of the frenemies back in Charlotte.

After about an hour, we are all interrupted from our conversations when Bananas taps on his whiskey glass and says, “I need your attention!” Thinking he was drunk or something, we all share a good-natured chuckle before obliging. 

“Liza, baby, I need to tell you something.” Rolling her eyes at his dramatic playfulness, she turns from where she was talking to me and answers him. 

“Let me guess, you want to ask for something too inappropriate to speak of in mixed company?” She smarts as she steps toward his extended hand and places her dainty palm in his.

“Only if you consider this inappropriate?” From his pocket, Bananas reveals a red ring box and immediately drops to one knee. Eliza gasps in surprise at his actions and honestly, so do I. Not from the proposal but from seeing a serious expression wash over Bananas features. He’s always playful and jovial, yet now he looks like a nervous kid.

“Baby girl, you know I’m downright obsessed with you and I’m so grateful that you put up with me. You’re my best friend and I wanna lock you down for the rest of your life, because one day my good looks might fade and with this ring, you’ll have to stay with me anyway. So, will you marry me?” He asks with a chuckle at the comment about his good looks. Eliza uncharacteristically has silent tears staining the cheeks of her flawless makeup as she stares down at the man before her with so much love. 

“Are you fucking kidding me? YES!” She whispers through tears and before even sliding the ring on her, Bananas jumps up, yelling triumphantly, picking up Eliza and spinning her in circles. When he places her back on her heels, he kisses her passionately and all of the whoops and hollers from the crowd of both rebels and bar attendees are deafening. When they finally break for air, he removes the beautiful diamond ring from the box before placing it at her fingertips and sliding it onto her third finger. 

“I wanted to make the diamond banana shaped but Sy said you’d kill me. He said I better go with square, or round to keep you from saying no.” He announces proudly and I glance to Syverson who’s wearing a shit eating smirk. 

“Thank God, Sy. Someone needs to reel him in.” Eliza giggles as she addresses my boyfriend and her proverbial big brother figure.

“You got a whole lifetime of keeping him in check now, I reckon.” Sy chuckles before raising a whiskey glass to the couple. The other Rebels all quickly join in and wait for Sy to speak. To my surprise, my typically quiet boyfriend stands proudly as he calmly addresses the entire bar with authority.

“Bananas and Eliza are the epitome of true love, loyalty, and the existence of soulmates. We all wish you a long and happy marriage. Cheers!” 

Everyone clinks their glasses together and throws back their drinks as Bananas bends over and dips Eliza into an extravagant kiss. Wiping the happy tear from my cheek, Eliza turns to me and excitedly shows me the gorgeous cushion cut ring on a white gold band. It’s classy and beautiful and set perfectly on her petite hand with bright red manicured nails.

Congratulating her and complimenting the ring, we hug tightly and then I hug Bananas whose energy is palpable as his adrenaline pumps through him. Eliza hugs Syverson and thanks him for his proposal input, before they make their rounds to celebrate with the others. Smiling at the happy couple, I turn to Sy who was already watching me.

“How long have you known?” I ask.

“He’s been planning for a while, but didn’t get the ring until about two weeks ago. That was one of the reasons that I was late getting home last week. Eliza was cleaning the house and he was worried she’d find it. He needed me to keep the ring and help plan. You know he’s chaotic and not logistically minded. Plus, he's shit at keeping secrets.” He replies with a smirk. 

“You had the ring? Where?” I ask inquisitively.

“I’m not revealing my hiding place.” He squints at me and I roll my eyes playfully.

“I’m so happy for them.” I smile once again as I watch the couple beaming with joy behind us. 

“That somethin’ you’d want to do one day? Get married? Or did your last experience put ya off of that forever?” Austin asks me over the rim of his glass of whiskey and my heart jumps.

“If it was my choice, and with the person I loved, then I’d absolutely want to get married. But I don’t think I’d want some sort of spectacle. I’ve been forced into being the center of attention my whole life, so that doesn’t interest me much.” I smile sadly. Syverson just nods before taking another sip of his whiskey.

“What about you?”

“Never thought I was the marriage type to be honest. Seemed like more work than it was worth, but I’m coming around to the idea. Maybe one day.” He says and I feel a pang of disappointment that he didn’t seem fully persuaded but I just nod and pick up my drink and toss it back with a bit more enthusiasm than normal.

After several more rounds of drinks, and hours of laughter, the newly engaged couple took their leave to celebrate on their own. After they left, Sy had informed me that Bananas had transformed their house today while she was working. Several dozen rose pedals and flameless candles covered their home so that he could add the romance part of the night for just them to share. Sy had provided a nice bottle of champagne for the couple and promised to make it clear that they are not to be bothered the rest of the weekend. That was a necessary warning mainly for Dalton and Jared who were notorious for showing up at random times when they got bored. 

I was loving every moment of this tension free time with Sy. It was like the beginning of our relationship again. Tipsy, I was perched in Syverson’s lap with his arm tightly wound around my waist. I could feel him twitch and harden under me as I covertly wiggled every once in a while, like it was accidental. Subtly reaching for my drink so that I’d have to bend over with my ass on him, or twisting to the side to whisper something in his ear where my breasts were at eye level for him. Smiling at a story that Luis was telling, I unconsciously shiver when Sy’s beard brushes against my neck just below my ear. 

“Bout ready to head on home?” He asked in that deep timber that makes me wet with anticipation. Turning toward him, I looked deep into his eyes and nodded slowly. I watched Syverson’s eyes jump from mine to my lips before returning to my gaze as his eyes darkened.

Oh yes! Things really are getting back to normal!  I thought to myself as the eagerness rushed through my body. 

Playfully, I lean over once more to place my drink back on the table and feel his palm clench against my hip, pressing himself as tightly to my ass as possible and grinding just subtly that nobody would notice. Standing, I turn and look down at him still seated. His thick legs still parted with a burgeoning bulge at the apex, tight t-shirt covering his flat torso with the sleeves straining under the extent of his biceps. That mischievous eyebrow arch made it clear that he knew what game I had been playing all evening with him, and he seemingly was enjoying it. Biting my bottom lip in that way that I know he loves, I step closer in between his legs and bend to reach for my bag on the back of the seat behind him. Syverson steadies me with his hands on my hips and I watch his eyes as he looks at mine before dragging them shamelessly down to my ample cleavage. Sy obviously doesn’t care that we’re in public as he stares at my breasts like a teenage boy discovering his first nude magazine, and I’ve never felt more powerful and sexy in my life. Allowing him a good look while I flip my hair over my shoulder, I slowly adjust my top and stand up straight while returning to my innocent act. 

“Ready baby?” I whisper. Lowly, I hear a growl under his breath as he mutters something that I can’t make out due to the noise in the bar. Quick as a flash, he swats one palm on my ass cheek causing me to softly squeal at the abruptness. Standing, Sy discreetly adjusts himself in his denim behind my frame before speaking. 

“We’re heading out.” He announces, followed by boos from mainly Jared and Dalton.

“Oh c’mon Sy! It’s a night to celebrate!” Dalton announces drunkenly. 

“I’ll be celebrating, don’t ya worry.” Sy says arrogantly and that gets the drunk guys hooting and hollering once more as my blush reddens my cheeks. Mike’s behind the bar tonight and we stop by to say our goodbyes while Syverson ensures that Mike will oversee the drunkards making their way home.

“Y’all good? Iron everything out?” Mike asks Sy who wraps my hand tighter in his and nods.

“Yeah, thanks man. I appreciate it.” Sy responds and I smile gratefully.

“How’s your back and ass from those big scary porch stairs?” Mike goads. Syverson rolls his eyes and flips him off as he leads us to the exit while Mike cackles exuberantly in the background at his own joke. 

Drinking in the gentle breeze and calmness as soon as we exit the building, we silently make our way to Austin’s motorcycle. Placing a sweet kiss to my lips, we secure our helmets and are bolting through the night as the streetlights blur and stretch in the background. Once home, I struggle slightly walking from the garage across the gravel driveway as I’m a bit tipsy and wearing some tall heels that Eliza had ordered for me at her boutique. It was fun getting to experiment with my wardrobe in a way that I have never been able to before.

Sy quickly offers his arm and before I can protest, he whips his other arm behind me and carries me up the stairs to the door. I giggle freely at the spontaneity and playfulness that I’ve missed sharing with him. Refusing to put me down, Syverson impressively unlocks the front door while holding me and carries me as he while kicks off his boots, tosses his keys on the bookshelf, and locks the door; only stopping to place me on the kitchen counter once he was done. 

“These shoes are somethin’ else, Sugar, but I know your dogs must be barkin’.” He implies that my feet must be sore and sweetly unclasps and removes my stilettos and places them on the floor. Reaching toward the cabinet, he fills a cup with ice water and hands it to me encouraging me to drink it as he rubs my sore feet. His big hands are incredibly nimble as he kneads my feet and I moan somewhat sexually as he hits a good part.

“Now, Sugar, you can’t be making noises like that if you just want me to rub your feet.”

“What if I want you to do something else?” I flirt and he smirks.

“And what might that be?” The alcohol still remaining in my system allows me to bypass any shyness about asking for what I want. 

“I want you to rip my clothes off, bend me over this counter, and fuck me so hard that I can’t walk after.” I bravely request.

Pausing momentarily, Austin smiles and replies with a gentle and loving caress to my cheek.

“How about we go upstairs and I’ll make love to you.”

My liquid inhibitions cause me to break eye contact and groan which causes Syverson to pause with pure offense.

“Now what did I say to cause that reaction?” He asks.

“Austin, I don’t know why you’re treating me like I’m made of glass. Ever since I was in the hospital, it’s like you’re scared to touch me!” I almost yell at him out of frustration.

“That ain’t true! I’m always touching you.” He defends and I roll my eyes uncharacteristically at him and cross my arms like a petulant child as my legs hang off of the counter.

“Are you unhappy with our sex life?” He asks with a bit of hurt slipping through his controlled mask.

“No..well, not really. I just feel like you’re scared to touch me or like something is off. Don’t get me wrong, I love when you’re slow and intimate and meaningful, but lately I’ve been missing the Syverson that spontaneously grabs me and is a bit rough with me. It’s kind of a turn on when you toss me around.” I admit the last part quietly.

“I.. Sugar, I just don’t want to be like the people who have hurt you before. I don’t want to be rough with ya and accidentally hurt you. I couldn’t bare to see the bruises I left on you after the…accident.” 

“You never had a problem with it before.” I retort and am speechless at Sy’s response.

“That was before I knew what it was like to see you actually hurt. I watched you die, Allie! Damnit! I still watch you die every night while you’re asleep in my arms! I can’t ever stop it in my dreams so excuse me for trying to be delicate with you now that I see how fragile you are!” He screams as he stares at the floor.

My eyes well with tears as I hear the hurt and worry in his voice. 

“You…. You’ve been dreaming of me dead?” I ask quiet as a mouse, but Sy doesn't respond.

"Talk to me." I plead.

“I can’t ever get there in time to stop him. It’s like I’m running in slow motion and when I get there it’s too late.” Sy still refuses to make eye contact with me.

Pulling his arm that’s closest to me, I attempt to pull him towards me. He barely budges initially, but then gives in and walks toward me, resting his head on my shoulder so that I still can’t see his eyes. 

“Baby, you did save me. All of that is just a terrible nightmare and I wish you would’ve told me so that I could be there for you. I’m so sorry.” I allow an errant tear to stream down my face at the thought of Syverson struggling silently.

“Look at me, please.” I beg as I place my palms on each side of his scruff. 

“I love you and I’m here and you did save me. You would never hurt me or let me get hurt. I know that. Do you?”

Austin’s eyes are red rimmed as though they are physically fighting off the tears that threaten to breach his eyelids as he nods.

“Say it.” I demand.

“I’ll never let anything happen to you.” He says.

“And…” I prompt.

“And I did save you in time. I won’t hurt you.”

“One more thing…” I smirk and he actively thinks about what more I could be waiting for. Leaning in his ear, I whisper, “You love me.” 

Smiling he nods and says, “I love ya, Sugar.” Deciding to just let my previous frustration go now that I know the reason behind it, I grab his cheeks once more and speak.

“Just know that I’m not as delicate as you think I am, okay?” I say and kiss him cutely on the nose. He nods and then smirks when I jump off of the counter grabbing my heels.

“Head on upstairs and I’ll lock up.” He tells me and I nod.

Making my way into our bathroom, I decide to hop in the shower. Letting the water warm, I shed my clothes messily in the floor and step under the spray. I’m reaching for the body wash when I feel Austin enter the shower behind me, but I’m not at all expecting his next actions.

A sharp but painless tug to the back of my soaked hair has me startling with a gasp. Turning quickly, I see the most mischievous look in Austin’s eye before he smashes my face to his in a heated and overwhelming kiss. Our tongues fight for control and I quickly concede, allowing him to maneuver my head where he wants it in order to deepen the kiss. My wet body is pressed tightly to his damp skin, where his massive erection presses against my stomach due to our height difference. Syverson’s large palms are on either side of my face as he dominates the kisses that feel downright sinful in the best way. Pulling back for air my eyes search his and he presses a kiss to my forehead before speaking.

“You wanna be tossed around? Wanna be fucked rough and spontaneously?” His voice is so deep it’s like gravel as I melt around his words and nod eagerly.

“Can I trust your gonna tell me if you don’t like somethin’ or if it’s too much?”

“Of course, baby. I know you won’t ever hurt me.” I say with confidence emanating from my voice in hopes that he will feel the pure trust that I have in him.

“Promise?” He grunts as if he’s physically holding himself back.

“I swear.” I mutter and before I can even take a breath, Sy has pushed me against the freezing tile wall and consumed every each of my body with his pressed tightly against it. I chirp in his mouth from the shock of the cold, but also from the anticipation that’s writhing through me. Sy’s right hand slides up my body and grabs the back of my neck under my drenched hair while the left hand harshly kneads my breasts as he ruts his erection against me. I moan into the kiss when his hand leaves my breast and trails down to my soaking wet pussy. He takes his time as he enjoys feeling my body, and presses against my clit just enough for me to squirm before backing off and sliding first one thick finger before the other into my clenching cunt. My leg wraps around the back of his at the intrusion and he begins pumping them in and out while pressing against my sensitive button at different intervals. I feel him scissoring his digits to gently stretch me before sliding in a third and I can’t help the pitiful mewl that escapes me. Embarrassingly, I come so quickly that I don’t even have time to warn him, but he must’ve known due to him whispering “that’s right, sugar. Lemme’ have it-” in my ear just moments prior. My head falls back against the tile as the euphoria of my climax pours through me and Syverson quickly rakes his scruffy beard across my sensitive neck, leaving sloppy kisses in his wake as he works me through it.

Slowly removing his fingers, I open my eyes to see him towering above me with hunger in his eyes. Reaching down, now that I have feeling in my limbs once more, I reach for his cock and wrap my fist around it, stroking him gently. He allows me to palm him for no more than a few moments before he single-handedly turns my body and presses me against the cold glass on the other side of the shower. The hot water is now beating down my back as my breasts are flush against the clear divider and Sy wipes away the condensation at my face.

“Want you to look at your face when I put my cock in ya.” He growls against my ear and I swear, I involuntarily clench just at his voice and demeanor. Lifting one of my legs higher to give himself room, he practically picks me up as he slides into me. Seeing our somewhat foggy reflection in the mirror is beyond erotic as he has me splayed open and ruts into me from behind. I have to force myself to keep my eyes open as the overwhelming sensation of his girth and length calls me to close them in utter bliss. Picking up his pace, I can’t help but press my cheek against the glass as I focus on how this man can be everywhere all at once. He’s practically holding me in the air due to our height difference while also pressing me against the shower wall and absolutely ravaging me while still placing pressure on my sensitive bundle of nerves. I feel my body begin to crest closer towards my release when he suddenly removes himself and I audibly whimper in disappointment.

Without a word, Sy turns me around to where I am facing him and sets me on the bench that is built into the shower. His cock is eye level with my mouth and I wet my lips in anticipation as I reach for him. Stepping out of my reach, I look at him with confusion before this bear of a man gets down on his knees and pulls me to the edge. Silently, he kisses the insides of my thighs before nipping at them as he makes his way to my drooling juncture. When he finally reaches his destination, his tongue wastes no time as he begins to sloppily make out with my petals before sucking on my clit. His fingers trail up and join his ministrations and when he inserts them, I realize I’m close again. Reaching down, I place my hands on the soft fuzz of his buzz cut as he stares up at me with those cerulean blue eyes that watch me intensely while he pleasures me. My legs are propped on his shoulders as I do my best to remain still even though I can’t help but squirm with desire.

“Baby..Sy.. I’m gonna… come.” I stutter as I hit my peak and release a moan so graphic that I’m grateful we are in private. Once again, Sy carries me through the aftershocks of my euphoria as I begin to regain feeling in my extremities. Syverson stands and I reach for him as I quickly guide him into my mouth. He groans with satisfaction at my unexpected reciprocation, but tries to protest. 

“You’re not calling the shots here.” He pants as I suck him from base to tip. I’m sure I look like a wet rat but he doesn’t seem to mind when I nod and hum around him while fondling his testicles. Pulling back just enough, I whisper, “Fuck my mouth” and return him to my open lips. Austin looks up at the ceiling before biting his fist as he slowly and gently begins gyrating his hips. Reaching for his hands, I place them on my head as I look up at him from beneath my lashes and he continues his gentle ministrations until I force myself down on him until I gag. He quickly retreats, but I grip his hips and do it again. 

“Fuck, darlin’, don’t hurt ya-self” he grunts and although uncomfortable to do, I’m feeling so powerful as this man whines in pleasure. We continue for a few more minutes before he grips my wet hair, gently tugging me off of him.

“But I wanna-“ I protest but he hauls me up on my feet and then lifts me fully off of the floor against him. My legs are wrapped around his waist and my breasts are in his face as inserts himself and begins pumping inside of me. I’ve never felt as full as I do in this position, literally split open on top of him while he supports my entire body weight. Syverson doesn’t waste a moment and simultaneously gropes my ass while sucking on my boobs. I gasp in pleasure as this man roughly thrusts into me and his presence surrounds me from every single angle. 

“Oh fuck, Sy!” I moan and he catches my lips, nipping my plump bottom lip as he does. 

“Ya wanted me to do you dirty and rough, huh?” He growls against my boob as I nod dumbly in agreement.

“Is this what you wanted? What you needed? Me taking you raw and hard against the shower walls?

Lost in pleasure, I nod again but that doesn’t satisfy him.

“I can’t hear ya. I want you to say it.” He demands and I hastily respond.

“God yes, baby! I needed it.” 

“Needed to be my naughty girl, huh?” He smirks as he slams into my wet hole.

“Uh huh! Wanted to be -- your – naughty girl.” I reply between breath taking thrusts.

“Tired of being my good girl?” He grins with a thrust and I shake my head.

“Uh uh” is the only reply I can give as I’m cresting closer and closer towards another orgasm. 

Reaching down, Sy thumbs my clitoris and I clench as I’m right at the edge.

“C’mon Sugar. I know you’re right there.” He slams into me while putting pressure on my spot and within seconds I shatter. My whole body feels like it’s rushing with white hot pleasure as it runs through my veins and to my extremities. I feel myself fall limp while my body clenches in spasms as Sy hits his own climax and shoots his release deep inside of me. I’m just beginning to regain my composure as he becomes spent, and I wrap my arms around his neck helping to support the weight of our position while he basks in our shared indulgence. Sy rests his head on my breasts as I stroke the softness of his buzzcut once more.  

Carefully and exhaustedly, I remove myself from him and place each shaky leg on the ground while leaning against the tile to keep me upright. I reach for the body wash and begin soaping Syverson who allows me this aftercare. After washing his body, I angle him towards the water that is now room temperature at best. Sy greedily returns the favor and begins gently soaping my body with a sly grope or two before washing my hair. I help him condition it since he’s never had hair as long as mine, and when we are thoroughly rinsed we wrap into our fluffy bath towels and dry off. 

Heading into the bedroom, we get under the covers and I admire his godlike physique for a moment before snuggling into him, fully satiated. 

“Feeling better?” His voice echoes under my ear that is pressed against the soft curls of his chest hair.

“Much. You?”

“I’m good. Just wish you would’ve told me this was what you needed.” He replies and I arch my brow before leaning up to lock eyes with him.

“I wish you would’ve told me about the nightmares. That you would’ve let me in rather than pushing me away. I was sure you were over me now that the “chase” was over.” I sigh and Syverson presses a kiss to my forehead. 

“No way, darlin’. I’ll never be over you. I just want to protect you and it just didn’t seem right to be rough with you after everything ya’ been through.”

“You’re the only one who can be rough with me.” I smirk and he cutely waggles his eyebrows at me.

“I think my girl’s getting kinky on me.” He chortles and I decide to buy into the joke.

“Yup, got a whip, blindfold, and handcuffs arriving next week. I can’t wait to tie you up.” Syverson stops laughing as his eyes grow wide as saucers.

“Little darlin’, I’d let you do a lot to me but I’ll be the one tying you up blindfolded.” He says but I giggle at the image of him laid out at my will. Hmm, I might actually like that, but the thought of him tying me up and blindfolding me has me slightly more excited. We banter for a bit more until my yawns become so frequent that I find myself drifting off. Before allowing my sleep to fully take me under, I whisper to Syverson. 

“I’m here, and I’m not going to die. You saved me and you always will.” 

Chapter 21:

A/N:

Chapter 18:

6 weeks later:

ALLIE'S POV:

Adjusting to our new normal wasn't as easy as I had expected. August and Walter’s absence were felt largely in the beginning, especially while Sy was at work but it allowed me to really focus and dive into my work. Alyssa was extremely happy with the different book deals that I had secured, and had given me even more creative freedom to tackle whichever genre I felt inspired to do. That in itself is a big deal, so I was excited to tell Austin when he got home from work today. 

Feeling more accomplished professionally, I became increasingly frustrated sexually. Syverson was still treating me as if I was made of glass, and at first it was very intimate and loving as we made love. The eye contact, whispered, ‘I love yous’ and gentle caresses were so precious to me, but I was ready for more. Each effort to ramp things up with Syverson, still resulted in the same sweet intimacy that I loved but wasn’t craving. It wasn’t like anything was even wrong. We still had sex regularly, we laughed and joked together. Something just felt off at times and I couldn’t pinpoint it. Maybe I’m paranoid because things are going too well, I told myself.

A week ago, I woke up to see him watching me sleep and tracing my lips with his index finger. I thought it was romantic at first, but then he got squirrely when I tried to initiate more and said he had to get to work. He placed a kiss on my forehead before leaving me in bed alone, feeling utterly rejected. I’m starting to get nervous about him shutting down on me. Was it because we moved in together? Is it too fast? Did he feel pressured because of everything that happened? Did he feel guilty about the state of my apartment? I lay in bed at night wondering what is going on in his mind while he sleeps next to me. Austin is a man of few words, but I need him to communicate with me. Should I start looking for a house of my own as a backup plan?

Sitting at the kitchen table as I work, I get a text from Sy. I smile as I consider my good news from work and open it, thinking he’s on his way home. Unfortunately, it’s Sy telling me that he’s going to meet up with Walter and will be home later than normal. He even suggested that I go ahead and eat dinner. Rolling my eyes in frustration, I slam my laptop closed and glance at the oven clock. 

5:24 PM 

None of the food in this kitchen sounds appealing to me and I huff in irritation like a petulant child. Here I am on a Friday evening while my live-in boyfriend bailed on me for the third night this week, to go see Walter. I understand that he has often has obligations as the leader of this biker gang and of course I’m thrilled that he’s spending time with his cousin, but why wouldn’t he invite me to join? It’s not like I don’t know Walter well.

Overanalyzing every interaction with Syverson over the last six weeks has become a constant fixation. What I conclude each time is that he still regards me lovingly, with kisses and handholding. He pulls me to his chest every single night to sleep. However, sometimes he gets this distant look on his face and starts to pull away. He claims he needs to get to work early or stay late.

One Saturday, he went to the garage and worked out for three hours straight right after he woke up. I can’t figure out what’s causing it, and am quickly becoming self-conscious. Is he regretting this? Me? Living together? I try to give him his space and even made plans with Eliza one night so he wouldn’t feel guilty about spending time with his friends. I certainly don’t want him to feel like he can’t continue his friendships and responsibilities now that we are living together, although I do wish he would carve out time just for he and I to spend together.

What I'm really missing most is the feral passion that we had before the mishap. The pure, raw need to be wrapped in each other for hours and forget everyone and everything else. We’re only a few months in and suddenly that’s gone? Was the ‘honeymoon phase’ already over? Maybe I was misguided when I thought that type of connection couldn’t be snuffed out. I decide to go shower and change into my pajamas so that I can get in bed and watch trashy reality tv in a vain attempt to drown out my noisy thoughts and force myself to relax.

SYVERSON POV:

Sighing heavily, I press send on the text to Allie that I’ll be home late. I know she won’t bring it up, but I’m sure she’s disappointed. This’ll be the third night this week to miss dinner with her because of a Rebel situation that needed assistance and now Walter. I know I’m an asshole for it, but this time I don’t have a choice.

Walt messaged me and told me he had some news that I would want to know about the Outlaws so I quickly agreed to meet with him. I didn’t want Allie to stress or to be wrapped up in any more of my bullshit than she has been. Honestly, I’m surprised she didn’t go running for the hills after all of the shit that Kimmy put her through in the beginning. I gather my helmet and keys before checking my phone once more to see that she’s read the text but didn’t respond. Fuck. I gotta think of a way to make it up to her. Maybe I can plan a date this weekend. Something super soft and romantic. She’ll like that.

As I drive a little over an hour away to meet Walter at our usual café in the midway point between our homes, I can’t help but picture Allie’s lifeless body. Wracked with guilt over the fact that I put her in that position in the first place, I angrily chew on my lip. Walter has been keeping me updated on the charges filed with Spencer, but unfortunately the judicial system moves at a snail’s pace and we are nowhere near resolving things. I was grateful that a judge at least refused bond after he violated the protection order that Allie and Walter filed, citing that he had the monetary means and power to flee if he wanted.

Since she was almost murdered, I’m struggling to fully relax with Allie and I know she must be sensing it too. I’ve had consistent nightmares about not making it to her in time. I’ve had nightmares of Spencer taking her away and torturing her. I’ve even had nightmares where I was back in active combat and stumbled upon Allie’s body, lifeless and lips blue with no transport to medic available. It’s made it hard to sleep at night, and even worse, it’s made it more difficult to be carefree with her.

I keep thinking about how everyone failed to protect her, her entire life. Her parents used her as a pawn, Spencer used her as a punching bag and a bargaining chip, and Spencer’s father used her as a broodmare and status symbol. She’s been hurt by so many people her entire life, and what if I’m not good enough for her? I don’t have a college degree or really anything that makes me worthy of her intrinsic goodness. I have made plenty of mistakes in my life and I worry that she’ll wake up one day and see this former military, biker gang leader that owns an auto garage and a bar, wishing she would have done better for herself. That she’ll wish she had her previous life of materialistic luxuries and financial freedom to a degree that I’ll never be able to provide her. Frowning, I pull in to the café next to Walter’s truck and head inside. We order and begin eating when I can’t stand it any longer.

“What’d the Outlaw’s do?” I ask. Sighing, he takes another sip of scalding hot black coffee. One thing about Walter is that he drinks coffee day and night, 24/7. Haven’t seen that guy with a bottle of water since we were fourteen. Watching him slowly lower the plain ceramic mug, he finally speaks.

“Well, a different homicide division, a good way south of Gruene, found a body, a week or so ago. Washed up on a river bank. It was too decomposed to make out identifying characteristics, but they did some testing and discovered last week who it was.”

Arching my brow, I urge him to continue.

“DNA results came back with a match to Kimberly Ann Carter.” My eyes widen in shock at the confirmation and I simply nod.

“During the investigation, the detectives were questioning anyone that had been known to contact her in the last bit of time when it's assumed that she was still alive. Since she lived alone and didn’t work consistent shifts at the strip club, they still haven’t pinpointed the last sighting of her alive as far as I know. The strip club provides a large list of potential suspects for them to work through. Clearly, police had to question the Outlaws because of their previous ties to her, and their criminal histories. I’m sure they’ll be reaching out to the Rebels soon, simply for the potential motive of revenge being that she falsely pinned a kidnapping on you.”

Squeezing my palms into a fist, my knuckles are completely white as I think of someone questioning me about killing her. My thoughts pause as Walter continues.

“One of the homicide detectives knew that I had a bit of a rapport with the Outlaws, and asked me to assist in the interrogation since I have earned their trust in the past. They weren’t happy about being questioned but understood that complying with us would help exonerate them from the list of suspects.”

Sliding my tongue across my teeth, I urge him to continue.

“Keep in mind, this is all off the books. It’s still an open investigation so I could lose my job for telling you this but I felt you need to know.”

Nodding, I glance around to make sure nobody heard us. We’re in the back of the café, and luckily there’s nobody around this dive at the current moment other than the staff who are busy gossiping behind the counter.

“The Outlaws were each interviewed and all had the same story that they had no recollection of seeing Kimmy anytime recently.” Walter rolls his eyes.

“However, Viper told me a few things strictly off of the record. Luckily, I questioned him solo since he was not willing to speak to any other detectives.” He chuckles before lowering his voice. 

“The night that everything happened, he said that Kimmy had tried to win their mercy and claimed to be working with a guy named Spencer, who had loads of cash and could easily become a potential buyer, to take down the leader of the Rebels. She claimed that her and this guy had a plan to go after you first so that you would be distracted or gone, and then the Outlaws could encroach on their former territory once again.”

My fist slams the table so hard that all of the condiments knock off onto the floor.

“WHAT?!” I growl and the older waitress looks petrified. Jumping up, I storm out of the café before I start throwing tables and chairs. Walter jumps up, offers a quick apology and throws cash on the table to cover both of our meals before following me out to find me seething in the parking lot, breathing as though I’ve just ran a marathon.

“That fucking CUNT!” I scream in the deserted parking lot as I punch the air in pure frustration. 

“They didn’t believe her, or trust her. They know she’s a pathological liar who screwed them over when she was associated with them. Viper claimed that they didn’t have anything to do with her murder, but obviously he’s not going to confess to me. I don’t have any evidence, but the timeline from the coroner points to sometime in the month that she was last seen alive. The amount of decomposition makes it hard to pinpoint exactly when she died, which is lucky for the Outlaws. We don’t have anything at this point that ties them to her body, so they were simply questioned and released.” 

“How?! How did she plot with that fucker?!?”

“Viper said she knew his face from the information she dug up about Allie online. She claims she met him at work. Gave him a lap dance and they made a plan to work together. She told him exactly when Allie would be alone while you were scheduled to meet with her. She never met me or August before then so they had no idea that Allie wasn’t alone.” 

“Unbelievable!!! I wish that stupid bitch wasn’t dead already because I would love nothing more than to kill her and Spencer myself!” I rant.

Ever the even kill temperament, Walter just sighs and runs his hand through his curls.

“Look, man. I know that telling you wasn’t going to make anything better but I felt like you deserved to know even though I’m not allowed too. You’re the brother that I never had, and I hoped that having all of the answers could help you…I don’t know… cope better with everything that happened.

“What do you mean by that?” I snarl, annoyed that he’s seen the part of me that I’ve been trying to conceal from everyone.

“Sy, I know you, better than you would think. I saw you after everything happened that night. I figured you’re probably struggling to go back to how things were. I know you have guilt over not being with her when Spencer showed up. I know you feel like you fell for their trap when you shouldn’t have. Hell, I know you’re still struggling with shit from the army and with not properly grieving your mama.”

“Don’t.” I warn icily and Walter holds his hands up in surrender.

“I’m not trying to push. I’m just letting you know that none of that shit was your fault and you don’t have to deal with any of this alone. You shut everyone out and it doesn’t have to be like that.”

“Oh, like you don’t do the same? After Angie left you and took Faye with her? Ya didn’t answer my calls for a fuckin’ year, Walt. That’s pretty fuckin’ hypocritical.”

“You’re damn right I did the same thing and it didn’t help anyone! I was in a bad place and I pushed everyone away just like I did my wife and child. I realize that now and am trying to keep you from making the same mistake, s’all..” He admits and I run my hands over my buzzcut while I chew on my lip to keep myself from screaming.

“Go. Take a drive, clear your head before you get home and talk to Allie.” Walt instructs and I nod.

He pulls me in for a bro hug and I let him.

“Thanks, Walt.” I murmur and he nods in response.

Jumping on my bike, I kick the kickstand back into place and rev the throaty engine before peeling out of the parking lot. The back roads are dark and windy, and yet I still push past the speed limit as my anger consumes me. This is the part where I realize how much August and I are alike in that when we get extremely angry, there is no way to calm us down. I am usually in much better control of myself, whereas August unapologetically destroys everything in his path. I guess if the military hadn’t beaten so much restraint into me, I would be just like him.

Much too soon, I’m back in town and drive right past the street to my home. Our home. I can’t face Allie yet with this unresolved anger. The last thing I need is for her to see me like this after all she has been through. In fact, I don’t want her to see me like this at all. I’m afraid it would scare her.

Driving to Mike and Annie’s, I pull up into their yard and kill the growling engine. Opening the front door, Mike meets me on the porch with a large smile that quickly turns into concern as he clocks the scowl covering my features when I remove my helmet. 

“What’s happened? Allie okay?” He asks.

“I need to drink. The hard stuff.” I grit and he momentarily pauses before he nods and leads me inside to the kitchen. Pouring a glass of whiskey, he hands it to me and I knock it back before handing it back to him for a refill. 

“Why didn’t you go raid the bar?” Mike questions.

“Too many people.” I reply in a clipped tone.

As he’s pouring, I ask “Where’s Annie?” 

“She’s taking a bath upstairs. Her back’s bothering her again from all the being on her feet all day every day, but she just won’t slow down.” Handing me my second glass, I once again swallow it in one hearty gulp. 

“You wanna tell me what’s going on now?”

“Kimmy’s dead.” I mutter before taking the whiskey bottle from his hand and pouring my third glass.

Mike’s eyebrows raise in surprise, but he waits for me to continue. Taking down the third glass, I finally speak again.

“She met Spencer, the piece of shit that almost killed Allie, and they were working together to bring us down. She told him when Allie would be alone while we were meeting with her outside of town. Tried to convince the Outlaws that she could take me out of the equation and they could take their territory back over the town. She set us up, and I stupidly fell for it.”

Shock covering his face, Mike grabs the liquor bottle from my hands and finally pours himself a glass.

“Fuck.” He finally says and I nod in agreement. We continue to drink in silence and I feel the alcohol start washing over my body. It’s helping to numb the rage, only just so. 

Two hours pass as I continue to drink and I see Mike yawn.  “I’ll head on back. I’m sure Allie is probably wondering where I am.” I mutter, angry with myself for not informing her how late I would be.

Glancing at the very blurry watch on my wrist, I silently thank God for digital watches. Analog clocks are a sober person’s game. It’s almost 11pm. Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I see one missed call from Walt, three missed calls from Allie, along with 4 text messages.

Fuck. I’m so inconsiderate. Pulling my keys from my pocket I shakily stand up from the hard kitchen chair. 

“Thanks for the drinks, but Allie’s going to be pissed.” 

“No way, man. You’re not going anywhere. You’re in no shape to drive.”

“It’s just down the road; I’m fine.” 

“Son, I’m not asking. Either sleep here on our couch or I’ll drive you home.” 

“Fine.” I mutter petulantly. Mike’s never taken that tone with me before. We’ve always been equals so for him to act like I’m being some dumb kid is pissing me off.

“Call Allie. Tell her that you’re sleeping here or I’ll bring you home. Either way, don’t make her wait any longer.”

I huff but dial Allie with zero finesse as I plan to play off that I’m not as drunk as I am.

“Austin?!?!” She answers with pure concern in her voice.

“Hey, Al!” I respond cheerily, not realizing that she’ll know something’s up because I never call her ‘Al’. That’s her and August’s thing, which reminds me to be annoyed that she and my brother share nicknames, while he also wants to fuck her. I pout at this reminder.

“Austin? Where are you? Are you okay?”

“Mhmm. M’at Mike’s. Had just a couple of drinks and he thinks I shouldn’t drive but I think m’fine.”

She sighs heavily. “No, you’re not fine to drive. Are you staying there tonight or do you want me to come get you?”

“I dunno.” I grunt, annoyed that she’s having to take care of me.

“I thought you were with Walter tonight.” She whispers.

“I was. I got mad and came and drank alllllll of Mike’s whiskeyyy.” My voice elongates on some of the words and I don’t know why.

“Can I use the keys to your truck and come get you?” She asks quietly.

“You can have my truck if ‘ya want it. Just keep it. I like my mortor…motorcycle better anyway.” I reply.

She sighs. “Stay there. I’ll be there in ten minutes.” I go to respond but see that she’s already hung up. Damnit! I throw my phone and it ricochets off of the couch and lands on the floor.

Mike walks over and picks it up as I lean against the counter. Handing me my phone and a cold bottle of water, he glares at me and I roll my eyes and open it. 

“What’d you decide?”

“Allie’s coming to get me.” I grunt in annoyance of being treated like a kid at a custody handoff. 

“She got a car?” He looks confused.

“I just gave her my truck on the phone.” I say like that will make any sense to him. He nods anyway with a smirk before looking at me seriously. 

“You need to sober up tonight and then talk to Allie in the morning about this. I know you’re mad, and you have every right to be. What’s done is done, and I’m not going to let you blow this whole thing up with Allie.” 

“I’m not blowing anything!” I raise my voice but Mike isn’t deterred. 

“Not yet, but if you keep going like you are, you’ll alienate her too. We all can see you shutting down and I don’t fully understand it but I felt like it wasn’t my place to say anything. That woman has been through enough, so get your shit together.” He says and I scowl and roll my eyes.

“SHE DIES!” I scream.

Mike is taken aback with shock.

“She dies. Every few nights in my dreams, she just…dies. I see her lifeless body on the ground. Lips blue and skin cl…clammy. I see her unconscious in Spencer’s car ‘nd I know I didn’t get there in time; I see her in the red zone of Baghdad on the floor of some dusty shack, I see her dead in that fuckin’ hospital bed with the doctors working on her. Every nightmare I have, she’s dead! Just like my mom. Cus’ I didn’t get there in time to save her. I never get there in time to save her. I’m bruising and breaking her ribs every time I dream, just to keep blood moving through her. How am I supposed to act normal, huh? You…you tell me because I would love to fuckin’ know! Two months and I…I can’t close my eyes without losing her. She made me fall… in love with her, and I havta’ watch her die every time my eyes close.” 

Across the room from the middle of the stairs, I hear Annie. I don’t recall when she appeared but she must’ve heard me.

“Austin, you cannot keep punishing yourself for something you didn’t do. Baby, you saved her. You got to her in time. She’s alive because of you. You are focusing on the scariest parts of your life and replaying them over and over. Have you ever considered that pushing her away is the reason you can’t stop this nightmare? Keeping her at arm’s length makes you feel some level of control but it’s going to cause you to lose her for real. Not to death, but the connection you two share. Honey, you’ve got to stop this.”

“I dunno how.” I whisper in the darkness of the hallway as tears fill the rim of my eyelids.

Hearing tires crunch over gravel grabs my attention and I quickly wipe the moisture from my eyes. 

“Sorry to interrupt your night. Thanks for the drinks, M.” I say as I clumsily make my way toward the door.

“Has your floor always been this uneven? I can fix that. I’ll bring my level and tools over.” I direct at Annie who looks completely confused by my words as Mike smirks about something I don’t understand.

“The floor is only uneven because your brain is swimming in booze.” Mike mutters behind me.

Making my way toward the porch, the headlights approaching the house in the onyx night are absolutely blinding. I hold my hands in front of my squinted eyes and stumble directly into the porch railing, where I then ricochet off and fall down the five porch stairs very ungracefully. I fully lay on the concrete sidewalk as I try to right my equilibrium.

Jumping out of the truck, Allie runs straight to me, her silhouette in front of the headlights so angelic above me. Maybe this part will be included in my nightmare. Her in heaven rather than lifeless on the floor. That would be a little better at least, because I know I could see her and be with her again. Or at the very least she wouldn’t be alone, she’d be with my mama. Ma would take good care of her.

“Oh my god, Austin! Are you okay?”

“Lights are bright.” I mutter as I close my eyes and rub my ass where I landed on the concrete sidewalk. 

“I’m sorry, it’s so dark out here in the country I was afraid I would miss their house, or hit a deer or something if I turned them down.” She explains and I just watch her fluttering her hands uselessly over me as if she were trying to check my wellbeing but doesn’t know where to begin.

“Let me help you up.” She grabs my hands but her meager frame doesn’t budge me from the ground. 

“I can’t wait to make fun of you for this when you’re sober.” I hear Mike from somewhere close behind me chuckle as he and Allie help me stand.

“Oh, fuck off.” I reply and he laughs even harder. 

“Need help getting in the truck?” He asks and I pull my arm away from him.

“I’m not a fuckin’ kid. I can get in the truck.” I grumble.

“Well, I was just checking. Stairs were too complicated so I just wanted to be sure.” Mike’s laughter is pissing me off and I stomp over to the passenger seat of my truck and climb in, slamming the door behind me. I watch as Allie thanks Mike briefly, before heading my direction. I’ve never been in the passenger seat of my own car and feel humiliation wash over me as my girlfriend has to take a running jump to climb inside the cab and drive my drunk ass home.

Rolling down my window, I yell “Don’t touch my bike!” as Allie turns around and drives us home. She looks so little in this big truck and I can’t help but thinking about how tiny she is compared to me. The driver’s seat is likely pushed up as far as it can go and I smile at her concentration.

“You look mighty fine driving this big ole’ truck, Sugar.” 

“I’m just trying my best not to dent or scratch the damn thing. It’s like drivin’ a damn school bus.” She says with concentration.

“I’m hungryyyy.” I whine as I rub my grumbling tummy. I didn’t get much of my dinner in before Walt dropped the bomb of information and I stormed out. 

“Can I get Donald’s?” I ask sweetly.

“What?”

“Donald’s?” I repeat.

“Is that a restaurant?” She asks.

“Yup, best French fries in the world. And they have that real big M sign.” I describe and she looks at me with incredulity.

“Do you mean McDonald’s?” 

“S’what I said.” I reply sleepily. Quietly giggling, she turns and drives us to the town over and indulges me when I ask for two cheeseburgers, a large fry, and a large coke. 

“Don’tcha want something?” I ask and she grimaces. 

“No, I don’t think I do, surprisingly. Must just be too late for me to want to eat.”

“You’re missing a reallll good dealll.” I drawl and she laughs. I feel like I’ve won an award for making her smile and I wiggle my eyebrows at her in the darkness of the truck cab as I devour my cheeseburgers.

When we get home, she offers to help me inside but I refuse the help until we get to the stairs up to our bedroom. I’m not going to make that mistake again. We get to the bedroom and she helps me remove my boots, shirt, and jeans. She eases me onto the bed and I can’t help but get turned on as I watch her remove the clothes she picked me up in, and toss on my red DILLIGAF shirt that barely covers her ass. Attempting to cover my boner, I watch as she fills a cup of water, grabs some Tylenol pills and hands them to me instructing me to take them as she brings the bathroom trashcan to the edge of the bed. 

“If you need to puke, try and do it here please.” She says matter of factly and I feel sad that she’s having to take care of me.

“You’re the most beautilul… beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.” I slur sleepily as I stretch out on the comfortable bed wearing just my boxers.

“Is that so?” She responds with a smirk.

“Mmmm.” I respond.

“Why didn’t you at least text, Austin? I was worried about you for hours. I don’t mean to nag you, I just wanted to know that you were okay. I even texted Walter who said you had left him hours ago. I was going to call the police if I hadn’t heard from you by 11.”

“M’sorry. I didn’t think. I’m not used to havin’ anyone think bout me for a long time so I promise I’ll do better from now on.” I apologize before yawning widely.

“What made you mad? Did you and Walter have a fight or something?”

“Sorta. He pissed me off some but I was madder…more madder…bout somethin’ else.” My eyes are closed as I whisper my response.

“About what? What was so urgent that you needed to meet up with him for?” Allie asks but I don’t hear as I drift into sleep. 

“Baby?” She sits up to see me better and realizes that I’m softly snoring at this point. Sighing, she climbs back into bed beside me and turns off the bedside lamp.

Waking up the next morning, all I can feel is the headache that throbs with every beat of my pulse. I groan at the discomfort and realize that Allie is not in bed with me. Heading into the bathroom, I try to determine whether I need to puke, and luckily the answer is no. I vaguely remember cheeseburgers at some point so that’s probably what helped soak up all of the alcohol that I consumed.

I feel stiff and look in the mirror to see my back, elbow, and ass cheek are bruising and I have no idea why. I brush my teeth and climb into the shower to try and cleanse my body and my soul of the anger and alcohol from the night before. When I return to the bedroom, I see two Tylenol, a cold bottle of water, and a cup of black coffee on the nightstand and quickly down the two painkillers to hopefully ease my headache before making my way downstairs. Allie is sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee, a half-eaten bagel on a plate beside her and typing on her laptop. Hearing my arrival, she looks up and smiles warily.

“How are you feeling this morning?”

“Like I got in a fight with a bottle of whiskey and lost.” I grunt and she grins.

“That’s about right. I’m sure you’re sore from falling down the stairs.” I shake my head at her and lift my coffee cup. 

“Do what?” 

She grins, “You don’t remember?”

“Bits and pieces. I remember feeling bad that you were worried…and cheeseburgers.”

“You fell down Mike and Annie’s front steps when I came to get you.” 

Feeling the red blush my features, I respond, “Well, that explains why my elbow and ass have a big bruise forming.”

“Only five stairs but you somehow managed to hit all of them.” She giggles and I smile at the sound even if it’s at my expense. I haven’t heard that carefree giggle from her as much as I should’ve lately. That’s on me.

“Thank you for taking care of me. I’m sorry I had you worried. I should’ve let you know when I got to Mike’s.”

“I appreciate that.” She responds quietly. 

“We…we need to talk, Austin.” My heart stalls in my chest cavity as I hear those words wrapped in anxiety fall from her lips. No, no, no! I’ve ruined it. I’ve fucked it up so badly that she’s going to leave me.

“About?” I force myself to speak as she looks at me warily.

Gesturing toward the chair across from her, I take the hint and force myself to move.

“I feel as though something is off. It has been since I moved in. I know that moving in here was impulsive and not fully thought through, and I worry that you’re regretting it or wishing you had your space back.”

I go to interrupt, but she puts her hand up in a stop motion and I clamp my mouth shut.

“Now, if that’s the issue, then please know that I completely understand and have found a few potential places that I could rent. This doesn’t have to change things with us, unless you want it too but I certainly don’t want to overstay my welcome or make you feel as though you need to stay at work excessively just to have your space.”

“Can I speak now?” I ask with an eyebrow arched and Allie takes a steadying breath before nodding and looking at her fingers that are fidgeting on the table.

“That is the last thing I want you to do, Sugar. This is our home, together and I would be absolutely devastated if you left. I want nothing more for us to continue living together and I apologize if I gave you any indication that I was upset or needing space.”

“You’re sure?” 

“One thousand percent, darlin’. You’re not moving anywhere unless you’re taking me with ya.” Relief washes over her posture but I still see some hesitation.

“Why didn’t you come home last night? What had you so upset?” 

Running my hand over my unruly beard, I think about how to tell her what Walt told me. Better to just be honest and get it out in the open.

“Walt and I met up, and a body was found. It was Kimmy’s.” Her gasp fills the silent room and I watch the shock wash over her face but am surprised when it shifts to sadness.

“He found out that she and Spencer had been working together to take us down. Apparently, she sent him to your apartment when she thought you’d be alone because she was supposed to meet with the Rebels to apologize, but we were planning to turn her over to the Outlaws. She told all of this to their leader.”

“Did they…are they the reason she’s dead?”

“The police don’t have any evidence connecting them to her body, but yes.” 

Her hand covers her mouth in shock. 

“Why… why?”

“She disrespected them, stole from them and turned them against each other when she was part of their gang. She single handedly almost destroyed their organization. Then, she sought asylum from the Rebels under false pretenses. She knew too many incriminating details about them. That’s plenty of reason enough for them.”

“How horrible.” Allie whispers and I am shocked at how she could still have empathy and compassion over someone so vile.

“You’re more upset that she’s dead, than the fact that she and your ex were working together to bring us down? To try and take you from me? To almost take your life?” I ask in disbelief.

“Yes.” She responds and my incredulous face must prompt her to continue.

“Kimmy is a…was a… very troubled woman who manipulated and lied her way through life. Spencer was very much the same, except he was entitled by his father’s money and power. They are both similarly narcissists, so it doesn’t surprise me one bit that she sought him out to help her with her plan. She saw herself as a victim, and so did he. What is surprising is that she was killed when her past manipulations and theft caught up with her, is all. Remember, biker gang lifestyle is completely new to me. Where I come from, all of the women I knew are manipulative and compulsive liars and nobody dies as a result. It’s encouraged to simply stay afloat in that world. I unfortunately grew up in a real-life Gossip Girl world where nobody felt guilty as long as it helped get them ahead.” 

Well, that actually makes a lot of sense. She’s never been around death but she has plenty of experience with people who have bad intentions. I don’t know what a Gossip Girl world is, but I’m guessing it wasn’t good.

“So, you got so mad that you couldn’t come home and tell me? You had to go get blackout drunk at Mike’s?” She asks sharply.

“I just…I didn’t know how to tell you because you’ve already been through so much.”

“I don’t need you to protect me, Austin. I need you to communicate with me. I’ve been wracking my brain trying to figure out what I’ve done wrong, and when you didn’t come home last night, I was absolutely nauseous over it. I wondered who you were spending your time with now that I wasn’t shiny and new anymore.” Allie whispers without making eye contact and now I’m the one feeling sick. 

God, what an asshole I was to not check in and not come home. She thought I was out picking up women or who knows what. Dropping to my knees in front of her, I take her hands in mine and wait until she makes eye contact with me.

“Sugar, you have to know that I would never, ever do that to you. I just didn’t know how to tell ya that Spencer and Kimmy were even more terrible than we originally thought. I didn’t want to bring it all back up now that we had finally gotten to a place where they didn’t take up your every single thought. I just didn’t want to burst the bubble we’ve been in the past couple of months is’all. I will never be so inconsiderate again, I swear.” I beg as a single tear escapes from her eye. 

Swiping it away with my thumb, I wrap my palm against her cheek and pull her to me for a kiss. I feel the anxiety and tension in our kiss and continue until I feel her relax against me. Pulling back, I whisper, “I’m sorry” against her temple before placing a kiss there as well. 

The day continues and as the hours pass, I feel all of the stress disappear between us for the first time in a while. I push the unwelcome images from my horrible nightmares in to the depths of my brain and dote on my girl who kindly gave me the benefit of the doubt when I acted like an idiot last night. We spent the whole day together, taking a leisurely walk, watching a movie and I even made sure to draw a nice bubble bath for her to soak in. I added all of that girly shit like bath bombs and candles that were under the cabinet when her things arrived and turned on some music for her while I began cooking us dinner. We had plans to go to the bar in about two hours and meet up with everyone but I wasn’t ready to share her yet today. While I worked on dinner, I remembered that Walter had called me but I never called him back so I decide to do that now since I rudely ran out on him last night.  

AUGUST POV:

I was in the south of France for a mission, when I noticed a text from Walter asking me to call him when I get a chance. Sighing, I roll my eyes and dial his number.

“Marshall.” He answers in a clipped and cranky detective way.

“Hello dear cousin. What can I do for you today?”

“August, hey man. I was just wondering if Sy called you?”

“Nope. Why?” 

“Well, I told him some information and he was freaking out. Allie texted me asking if I was still with him like three hours after he had taken off so I figured he might’ve called you since he was mad, and you’re always mad. Y’all could just be mad at all the things together.”

“Ha. Ha.” I say dryly as I roll my eyes but wear a smirk.

“No, he didn’t call me but now you’ve peaked my interest. What news did you impart that pissed my little brother off bad enough to not come home to his dream girl?” I question somewhat bitterly.

A loud sigh is uttered on the other line but I wait patiently.

“Kimmy’s body was found last week. She had been strangled. We questioned the Outlaw’s about her death and of course they lied and said that they didn’t do it, but they did give us some new information. As it turns out, Kimmy and Spencer were working together. She sent Spencer to Allie’s apartment that night specifically because she knew that Austin would be away meeting with her, and unbeknownst to her, the Outlaws. Neither of them knew you existed, so obviously she didn’t account for that surprise.” My eyes darken at this new revelation, but luckily, I’m not filled with the same rage as my little brother is.

“Well, I can see why Austin got so mad. I bet he wishes he would’ve killed Kimmy before the Outlaw’s got to her.”

“That’s exactly what he said!” Walt says with surprise. I guess my brother and I think more alike than he realized. A beep sounds into the receiver along with some movement.

“Oh wait, he’s finally calling me back now. I’ll talk to you later!” Walt interrupts my thoughts and quickly hangs up the phone.

Sitting in my Aston Martin parked along some busy street, I can’t help but smile at my reflection in the rearview mirror as I think to myself. 

I guess it worked out even better than I had imagined to let the Outlaw’s take responsibility for her murder. I was hoping that leaving her body in that river long enough would cause her to decompose too quickly for evidence and I would be well across international waters before anyone even noticed she was missing. Kimmy never saw it coming since she had never met me before, it was too simple. Now, Spencer’s revenge took a little more finesse since he was monitored in prison custody, but that didn’t deter me. I have it on quite good authority that he’s getting quite the special backdoor treatment from a very large and particularly rough co-inmate nicknamed Big Rick, in the county jail. My acquaintance has informed me that Rick has nicknamed him Samantha and the other inmates have joined in as well. He also shared that Spencer cries every time the guards ring the bell to initiate inmate showers.

All I had to do was put a few hundred dollars for cigarettes and snacks into Rick’s commissary to make that deal and it’s likely the best $300 I’ve ever spent. In fact, I might just drop some more cash on Rick’s account now that I’ve learned he was working with the stripper to enhance his punishment even more. The judicial process can be quite slow, especially when Spencer’s court date keeps getting pushed back further and further due to a little button I keep accidentally pressing when I login to the system. Looks like another three to six months of fun for Big Rick is in store. Allie got her version of revenge, and I got mine.

I sigh as I allow myself a brief moment to ponder about the delusional fantasy of being with Allie for even just a moment. Looking in my rearview mirror once more, I adjust my mustache before giving myself a Grinch-like smile and stepping out of my vehicle to go about my day. I’ve got a beautiful, young, leggy concierge attendant, who happens to look very similar to Allie, to invite to my hotel room later for my latest round of ‘stress relief’. It might not be healthy, but it’s how I’m moving on. 

Chapter 20

Chapter 17

Syverson POV:

Following my girl up the stairs, I open up the bedroom door and see the sweet smile come across her face at her bedroom furniture in my, well now our, bedroom. The girls did a good job and everything is set up where I don’t even recognize it, but the smile and little shuffle of Allie’s feet make me happier than a pig in shit. It’s our first moment truly alone since everything happened, so I gently pull her back against my front and wrap my arms around her. She’s so tiny against me as she rests her head back on my collar bone and rubs my forearms. 

“Mmm. Home.” She whispers and I kiss the top of her head. We head into the bathroom in companionable silence as we brush our teeth and do our nighttime routine. It feels a bit like a hotel as all of my stuff is moved around and I hunt for the laundry hamper as I pull off my shirt. Allie steps out of the bathroom and follows me into the walk-in closet where the hamper is. I’ve unbuckled my jeans but stand there as she pulls off all of her clothing and watch. I look at the yellowing bruises around her ribs and sternum and feel my heart sink. She turns toward me, completely naked and sees my face. 

“Sy.” She whispers sultrily and I feel all of the blood rush straight to my dick. Sauntering over to me, I take a deep breath as I watch her body move. She reaches up on her tiptoes and presses a chaste kiss to my lips before her arms thread around my neck and her pert breasts press against my chest. She feels so warm and so perfect. I gently place my hands around her waist as her warm thin body melts against mine. She reaches to initiate another deeper kiss and I can’t help but return it with enthusiasm. My dick presses against her, hard and ready as if asking for an invitation. Allie’s hands slide down my torso before pushing my jeans down.

Slowly, I remember that she’s only just gotten out of the hospital, and I should be making her rest after the already exhausting impromptu party that awaited our arrival tonight. I pull back slowly to remove the denim from my ankles before pressing my forehead against hers. Her needy hands are already thumbing the elastic of my boxers before I gently pull her wrists up to my lips and kiss them. I step back just once to put some space between us so I can think clearly.

“What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing baby, just not tonight.” I reply.

“Did I do something wrong?” She asks, the look of rejection taking over her face. I can’t stand to see her upset.

“Of course not, Sugar. Not a damn thing wrong. You just got outta the hospital, and I should be getting you to rest s’all.” I’m not known for being a gentle lover and I don’t want to dare hurt her fragile body.

“I don’t want to rest.” She presses her breasts against me once more and I almost audibly groan. I’m such a tit man and I can’t help but want to knead them in my hands but I refrain.

“Darlin, you’re not making this easy on me. I’m trying to do right by ya.” 

“Baby, I want you. I’m all healed up, perfectly fine. I know you want me too.” She caresses my obvious erection that’s straining against the fabric of my boxers while trying to be convincing.

“You and I both know you’re not okay. Even if you are, I’m not. Less than two days ago you were all but dead on that apartment floor. You could’ve died! You were overdosing on some unknown substance and I couldn’t fix it. Gunshot wounds or blunt force injuries are something I’ve been taught to treat, but I didn’t know how to help you. I was supposed to be your protector and I couldn’t protect you. You don’t…You don’t know what that was like, Allie. I swear I see you limp, pale with blue lips every time my eyes close even for a moment. I put these bruises all over you, with my hands. I almost killed another man and I honestly wish I would have for what he did to ya.” I murmur the last part quietly.

“Austin, please baby. Look at me!” She demands and my eyes shoot up from where they were searching the hardwood floors of my closet. 

“You saved me. Nobody but you. You noticed that I wasn’t well, you stopped before you killed him and came to save me. That’s more than anyone has ever done for me. You’ve given me a family. You’ve given me the type of love I never fully believed in. I am feeling so much better and all I want is that intimacy, that connection with you. I just need to feel you. Please Austin, I need you.” She whispers and I feel myself physically exhale all the tension I’ve been holding in. My woman is begging for me and she knows I would move mountains if she asked simply to make her happy. Eyes back on her perfect body, I carefully place my hands back on her waist. I watch her melt into me again, and sigh. She tentatively, pulls my chin down for another kiss that has all of the built-up emotions from both of us behind it. 

“This is dangerous.” I whisper when we momentarily break for air. 

“No, it isn’t. I’m cleared from the hospital and promise to lay around all day tomorrow.”

“I meant, you knowing that you can get your way no matter what because I can’t seem to say no to you.” I arch my eyebrow at her and she crinkles her nose with my favorite grin. 

“I ain’t gonna fuck you though.” I whisper and her face contorts into a pout.

“I’m gonna make love to ya, because I do. I love you, Sugar.” I carefully place my palm against her cheek and the rim of her eyes fill slightly with tears.

“You do?” She whispers and I nod before clarifying. “I do. Have for a while.” 

“I love you too! So much, Austin. You’re everything to me.” She pulls me in for a deep kiss and I gently reach under her ass and pull her thighs up around my waist. Carrying her to the bed while kissing is tricky because all of my shit has been moved around but I make it and gently lay her on the bed.

My erection is already leaking for her as it’s trapped under my boxers, but I ignore it and kiss all over her body. Pulling her taught nipples gently with my teeth, I leave sloppy kisses along her chest and her neck. I see the goosebumps cover her body and continue making my way down to the apex of her thighs. Kissing her legs, I spread them and make room for the width of my shoulders to fit between her before placing a kiss on top over her pelvic mound. Arching her back in anticipation, I see her looking down at me and our eyes lock as I take the first lick to her core.

Releasing a breathy whine, she squirms but I wrap my thick arms around her legs and hold her still. Continuing to place sloppy licks against her core, I begin sucking at her clit and her moans become more emboldened. I don’t even care that Walt and August are in the house, in fact, I hope they hear just how satisfied my woman is with me. I shake that thought from my brain as I know I’ll have to deal with them later, but right now, I want to focus on the perfect creature moaning underneath me.

Gently, I slide my thick middle finger into her tight wanting channel and begin curling it in a “come hither” motion before gently adding another. Allie whines as I continue to please her with my mouth and her hips jump from the bed against my palm which is already holding her in place across her waist. Sloppily making out with her perfect cunt, has her arousal all over my beard and chin. I watch her chase her orgasm and appreciate the blissed out look as she reaches down and places her hands against my buzzcut. She doesn’t push or pull, she simply caresses my head as I double down on my ministrations.

“Oh god, baby!” She squeals and I continue to push her closer to her climax. With a grunt against her core, I hear her moan so guterally that I know she’s close. Her legs clamp around my head and she warns me. “Austin, I’m gonna…I’m cominggg!!!” Her whole body clenches tight around me and she has my fingers in a vice as I work her through her orgasm and hum against her pussy. Letting out a pornographic moan, her arousal begins to squirt all down my wrist and chin and I eagerly lap it up as quickly as possible. I continue pleasuring her until she’s squirming and whispers, “t'sensitive.” I gently place a closed mouth kiss to her core before I remove my fingers and suck the remaining honey that covers them before wiping my hand on my boxers. 

Allie is completely limp on the bed and breathing heavily and I wonder if maybe it was too much for her. Although my cock is begging for attention, I lift her gently and place her head on the pillow and pull the covers up over her. 

“What? What’re you doing?” She mumbles almost intoxicated. 

“Takin’ care of ya sugar. That feel okay? Anything hurt?” I discreetly attempt to check her breathing by watching her chest rise and fall and look at the color of her face and lips.

“That was amazing, but we’re not through.” She demands and turns toward me, with a sleepy but determined look in her eye.

“You haven’t slept well in the hospital, Sugar. You need to rest. We’ve got the rest of our lives for more, Darlin’.” 

“But I want you now.” She whines like a child and I arch my eyebrow at her demand.

She reaches over and palms my erection on top of my boxers, which jumps involuntarily at the contact from her. 

“See, he wants me too.” She giggles and I can’t help the cheeky grin on my face.

“He always wants you, but that don’t mean he can’t wait.”

Ignoring me, Allie gets onto all fours and starts tugging my boxers down. I’m distracted by her gorgeous body in the air and don’t refuse. Tossing them across the bedroom without a care, she grabs onto me and I shudder at her cold small hands as they begin to work me up and down. I grunt when she squeezes the tip and then leans over to place her mouth on me. I can’t help but picture her shallow breathing and panic.

“Sugar.” I prompt but she ignores me and attempts to stuff my cock deeper in her mouth before pulling back in a spluttering cough.

“Let me try again!” She begs and I gently flip her over. 

“I can’t enjoy it if it hurts you darlin’, or makes it hard to breathe.” 

“But I want too!” Allie begs and I kiss her head. 

“How about this, I’m going to take you deep and slow tonight and if anything hurts or you feel too tired, you tell me and I’ll stop immediately. We can try your mouth another night when you haven’t just been in the hospital, alright?” I ask and she smirks and widens her legs for me to get between and I eagerly do so. I pull her in for a kiss that feels so naughty as I slide my dick through her folds, just covering myself in her essence. Pulling back, I realize that I don’t know where my condoms would be in this new furniture arrangment and glance around the dimlit room.

“What’s wrong?”

“Just trying to figure out where my condoms would be in this setup.” I murmur.

Laying back she smirks at me. “I think we should go without.” 

Pausing my entire body as my dick is still up against her pussy, I almost blow my load at the thought of taking her bare. I have always, always been vigilant to wear a condom and have never gone without one no matter how tempted or drunk I have been in the past. Too worried about catching something or worse, getting the wrong woman pregnant.

“I’m on birth control and clean" she adds when I don’t respond because I'm mentally stroking out just from imagining it.

“Me too… I mean about being clean.” I swear I look like I’m having an aneurism. Reaching down, Allie grips me rubs herself up against me and I have to bite my lip to keep from moaning.

“What do you think, then?” She asks flirtatiously. 

“I think I almost blew my load on you just for suggesting it.” I mutter honestly and she bites her lip. 

“What are you waiting for then?” Oh, this woman is going ot be the death of me.

“I’ve never gone bare before.” I tell her somewhat embarrassed.

“Me either.”  She bites her lip.

“I’ve never trusted a man enough before, but I trust you and, I just…I want to feel you. All of you. Without any barriers. Just you and me.” She adds and I take a steadying breath.

“Ya sure?” I ask once more.

“Positive. I love you, Austin. Make love to me.” She replies and I can feel the precum steadily dripping out of me.

“I love you more, Sugar.” I add before swiping through her folds a few times and then positioning myself at her tight, warm entrance.

Pulling me down for a kiss, I slowly push into her and I swear it feels like fireworks exploding behind my eyes. 

The feeling is indescribable as her warmth and wetness sucks me in and I still myself to keep from coming immediately. My god that would be embarrassing. The sound of our moans in unison is the only sound that fills the room as I look down at this perfect woman underneath me. Her smooth curves pressed against my coarse chest hair as I force myself to remain suspended above her so I don’t crush her tiny frame.

“Fuck, you feel incredible.” I grunt in her ear and she clenches on me somehow even tighter than I thought possible. 

“So do you, s’big.” She mutters before sucking a sloppy kiss against my neck.

She wiggles underneath me in an attempt to get me to move but I don’t trust myself.

“Y’okay?” She asks.

“Better than okay.” I reply.

“You’ve gotta move, Sy.” She whines and I experimentally shift out an inch or two before pushing back in and stalling. 

“You feel too good. I’m tryin’ not to embarrass myself.” I breathe a shallow breath and she pulls me in for a passionate kiss. Our tongues caress one another as we make out before I withdraw further this time and push deeply back into her heat and she whines at the feeling of me entering her so deeply. I do my best to focus on Allie and not how remarkable she feels as I look down at her in complete bliss.

“I love you, Syverson.” She whispers and her gorgeous blue eyes look into my soul.

“I love you, Allie. So damn much.” I reply and tilt her head to accommodate my hungry lips as I find a sensual deep rhythm of thrusts that keep me just on the brink of exploding. I want her to feel how deeply I love her. We are connecting in a way that neither of us have ever allowed ourselves to do with another, and I want it to be meaningful to her. I want Allie to know that I don’t take this lightly.

We continue kissing each other breathless as I thrust into her and feel her flutter around my length. The bed frame smacks against the wall with each deep thrust and that is the only sound I can focus on besides our breathy moans. I grunt as I try to think of anything to keep me from coming before her. Supporting my weight on one elbow, I reach between us and gently rub her clit. She whines at the welcome pressure over her sensitive button and flutters again.

“Where…Where d’ya want me to come.” I grunt as I use every bit of focus.

“Inside! Inside of me. Please.” She whines and I feel myself reach the point of no return.

Thumbing her clit even faster, I roar, “C’mon!” As I say those words, her whole body seizes underneath me as I join her in climax. She moans loudly without concern of being heard, just blissfully in her own euphoria. Allie’s arousal drips down my testicles as I pump two more times before freezing as deeply as possible and release rope after rope of my seed deep into her warmth.

She tucks her head into my neck as I try and catch my breath and I feel her clench repeatedly around me in aftershock. Each clench results in an involuntary grunt from my throat as I am fully expended. Eventually, I pull out of her and she winces at the loss of my cock. I rest my cheek between her breasts gently and she scratches my scalp with her manicured nails. 

“I think ya almost broke me.” I chuckle and she giggles sweetly.

“Same, baby. You felt so good. I can’t even describe it.” 

“I was doing everything in my power to get you there first, but damn I almost came the moment I slid in raw.” I admit and she playfully scruffs my head. When I pull away to head to the bathroom, she squeaks a weak, “no, stay” and I smirk at her. 

“Let’s clean up, Darlin’. We need to get some sleep. I pick her up and carry her to the bathroom and place her on the toilet. Once we clean ourselves, we head back and climb into her luxurious bed. Damn, women sure pick out some nice shit. The sheets are fancier than any I’ve ever had before and I’m quick to slide in. Allie slides right against me as I open my arms for her and before her head reaches my chest, she kisses me deeply. 

“I love you.”

“I love you more, Sugar.” I smile and she lays her head on my chest and with the click of the lamp off, we both fall deeply asleep.

I wake up the next morning with a naked Allie on her belly, hugging the pillow beside me tightly. The light that peeks in from the edge of the blinds showcases her perfect frame as she sleeps peacefully beside me.

Even though I have been avoiding this for a while, I know it’s the last opportunity to address the elephant in the room. The two elephants in question are likely downstairs in the kitchen since none of us are good at sleeping in. Tossing on some underwear and shorts, I silently make my way downstairs and take in the smell of coffee. Walter’s in the kitchen wearing a t-shirt and shorts and he’s making breakfast at the stove. August is banging on a laptop at the kitchen counter while holding a cup of black coffee.

“Mornin’” I mutter as I grab a coffee cup and head to the coffee maker.

“Morning.” They both reply. I notice August stares at my neck angrily, and I subconsciously I reach up to feel a hickey that Allie must’ve left on me last night. I smirk haughtily to myself as I realize what he’s angry at. 

“Who pissed in your cheerios, August?” I chuckle when he continues to glare at me. 

“You couldn’t let the girl rest after coming home from the hospital where she almost died?” He barks.

“I absolutely did. In fact, she’s still resting right now in our bed.” I provoke.

“You know we could hear you.” He spits with anger and I keep my cool.

“You got a problem with me fuckin’ my woman in my own home? The real question is why were you listening?” I argue and he stands up. 

“Both of you shut the hell up.” Walter intercepts. “It’s none of our business what they do August.” He adds sullenly.

“No, it’s time we get all of this out in the open. Do you assholes really think that I haven’t noticed? I didn’t become a Captain in the special forces by being unobservant and you both aren’t subtle.” I snarl.  

“What are you talking about?” Walter hesitates.

“I’m talking about how you both have the hots for my woman!” I yell and cross my arms. 

“That’s a serious accusation, Austin.” Walter starts and I roll my eyes.

“I don’t hear either of you denying it! I have seen you both over the past few weeks with her and I know more than you think I do.”

“August has been trying to get in her pants since the day he arrived, and I just thought it was him trying to get under my skin but I’ve noticed the difference in him the past week. Walt, you were a little less obvious, but I knew something was up when you were actively avoiding her all week.” I observe.

“We don’t have feelings for Allie.” Walter tries to stone face me. That may work every day with his interrogations but I see right through it. We’ve known each other our whole lives.

I cross my arms and sneer at them. 

“At least Walt seems genuine about it. I’ve never known August to want more than just a one-night stand so of course the fact that he’s after his own brother’s girlfriend is downright disturbing.”

“Fine!” August yells, unable to be silent a moment longer. His arms thrown up in the air dramatically.

“I do have something for her. I swear to God that I didn’t mean too, and I never crossed the line, okay?”

 “How could you do that to me? Your own brother? There aren't enough women in the entire world, you have to want the one woman that I love?”

“I didn’t do anything because of you, Austin! For the first time in my life, I didn’t allow myself to take what I want because you’re my brother. I know how much you love her but, FUCK…I can’t help these stupid… feelings. I don’t know how to do this! That’s why I can’t stick around. I just…I need to get the fuck away from here, from her, and go kill people.” 

Ignoring August’s last statement, Walter speaks.

“All we’re saying, Austin, is that it’s easy to see why you fell for her. You’re right, I’ve avoided her as much as possible out of respect for you this week. Neither of us meant for this and we wouldn’t dare betray you by acting on it. We know that you’re the one she wants. You didn’t have to torture us last night to make a point.” Walter mutters.

Standing there, the feeling of betrayal begins to dissipate. They’re right. Allie is easy to love and I can’t blame them for falling for her when I did the exact same thing. I didn't want to be tied down, but Allie has a way of making herself a fixture in your life without even trying. I feel slightly bad that our love making was torturous for them last night, but also a bit smug about it. She wants me, not them.

“I don’t appreciate you trying to hide it from me s’all.” I whisper with my arms crossed and refusing to make eye contact with them. Peripherally, they give each other a look of surprise that I seem to be calming down.

“We just didn’t see how saying anything would be beneficial.” Walter responds and I nod. 

“Well, typically, I’d try to convince you both to stay but seeing how the situation is weird, I’m gonna just shut my mouth.” 

“Breakfast should be ready soon. We’ll head out after we eat.” Walter says and I nod once. August doesn’t make eye contact with me and I can see he’s really going through it but I decide not to say anything.

“I’ll go wake Allie.” I whisper before heading back upstairs. 

Arriving to the bedroom, Allie is still a mess of hair and sheets and perfect curves as she sleeps peacefully. I would typically refuse to wake her, but I know she wants to see the guys before they leave and I can’t help but feel a little tinge of bitterness at that fact. I’m not a jealous man, but I also don’t share and I can’t deny she has a bond with each of them that is different from ours. Slipping into the sheets beside her, I nuzzle her neck and place kisses along her spine as my beard grazes against her soft skin.

“Mmmm… feels good.” She murmurs and I smile before grabbing her left ass cheek and squeeze. 

“Baby!” she squeals as she flips over and stares up at me. I place a loving kiss to her lips as her hands descend down my chest and abdomen but stop her before she gets any farther.

“You naughty little darlin’.” I smirk and she sticks her tongue out at me. 

“Can you blame me? Look at you!” She smiles back at me and I can’t help myself after the confrontation in the kitchen. Maybe I just want a little reassurance or to have my ego stroked a bit.

“I aint nothing special, sugar. That’s you.” I kiss her.

“You’re perfect, Sy. You’re the most amazing man I’ve ever known.” She smiles and I positively beam. 

“That so? Sure you don’t want someone else being that you could have any man you want?” I ask once more.

“I could never want anyone but you Austin Syverson.” She says meaningfully and I kiss her again.

“Well, you’re the only one for me sweet darlin’. One day I’m gonna put a ring on this finger and fill this cute little belly up with my babies. How’s that sound?” I fantasize.

“Perfect. Sounds like a dream.” She says sexily with a bite to her lip and I know she’s thinking about me coming in her last night just like I am. I feel the blood rushing to my dick and know I need to change the conversation before we end up twisting in these bedsheets the rest of the day.

“The boys are making breakfast. They’re planning on leaving here after we all eat. I told ‘em I’d come wake you up so you didn’t miss them leaving.” 

“Oh! Yes, let me get dressed.” She sits up quickly but I don’t let her leave the bed.

“Not without a kiss first.” I barter and she pulls me toward her and kisses me passionately. Falling on my back dramatically, she giggles as she climbs from the bed and heads to the dresser completely naked. I watch her body as I flashback to last night and can’t help but grin like a chump as she puts on a form fitting workout outfit. She claims it’s because they are comfortable, but I can’t imagine spandex to be the comfiest thing to wear, yet I don’t argue. I decide to get myself dressed as well in my typical getup. Allie brushes her teeth and hair and I join her in the bathroom before we walk downstairs together.

August is back hunched over his laptop wearing more than his typical broodiness. I see that both men have gotten dressed as well and there is a stack of pancakes on a plate along with some sausage and fruit out on the counter.  

“Good morning!” Allie chirps cheerfully even though the atmosphere is off.

“Good morning.” Walter responds and Allie pulls him into a hug and nuzzles into his sweater. I stand there observant and bite my tongue. 

“I don’t know how you don’t melt in these sweaters in this heat, but they are so soft! I’m gonna miss your hugs when you leave. I feel like I barely got to see you this week and now you have to go.” She says muffled by the fabric of Walter’s sweater. He looks at me with caution and I decide to just turn and pour Allie some coffee.

“Yes, well. Duty calls.” He replies.

August ignores her presence like the toddler he can be, but I know she won’t allow that. Removing herself from Walter’s embrace, she heads over to August.

“Good morning, Grumpy Gus.” She giggles. Walt and I both stare at her in absolute awe. If we poked the bear like that, we’d be getting a fist to the jaw almost instantly. August just huffs at her and continues angrily typing. 

“No good morning for me?” She smirks and literally pokes his shoulder.

“Morning.” He grunts. 

“Gussssss.” She whines and I can’t help the smirk at my face knowing how much he absolutely hates that nickname.

“AL” He replies with sarcasm as he peers at her from under his eyelashes. 

“Are you sad that you have to leave and go back to work?” She prods and he sighs.

“No, I like my job.” He grunts and I swear this man is actually an overgrown toddler but somehow Allie is not dismayed.

“I’m sure you do. But you also like your family and I think you had fun at least once or twice while you were here.” She coaxes and he just grunts at her.

“I’m going to make you a plate of breakfast. Then maybe you’ll be less Grumpy Gus and more of a Goosey Gus.” She turns to the counter and starts plating food.

“What the fuck is Goosey?” August bites.

“You know, like loosey goosey? Less tense!” She replies and I bust out into laughter, unable to hold it back after the look on August’s face. Walt joins me in laughter and then Allie does too. August doesn’t laugh but he does roll his eyes and smirk. 

Placing the plates on the table, she pats his shoulder. “It’s already working!” She says sweetly as she pushes his laptop closed. Another action that would’ve started a physical fight if anyone other than her had done it. Damn, he really does care for her.

Throughout breakfast, Allie chats and tries to liven the atmosphere and does so successfully. We’re all finished with our food and laughing at something Banana’s had said last night when Walt looks at his watch. 

“Guess it’s about that time.” He says as he stands to take his plate to the sink. Allie visibly pouts. 

“You sure I can’t convince you to stay for another day?” She asks him and he just shakes his head no before muttering something about stopping by to visit Faye, his daughter, at college. 

“Well, I can’t wait to meet her. We should come visit you guys sometime.” Allie says blissfully unaware of any tension in the room. August clears his area as well and silently heads to retrieve his bag. We follow them outside as they put their belongings in their vehicles.

“Oh! I need to get a picture of you three. All of the ones along the stairwell are from when you were kids. We need an updated picture!” Allie says and none of us complain even though we all dread taking pictures. 

“Stand together right here and smile.” She directs and we follow orders stoically.

“Grumpy Gus, I mean it. Smile!” She demands and it pulls a chuckle from all of us at this bossy little beauty. She takes about three photos before she claims she’s gotten the one she wanted and promises to send it to them. 

Regardless of the fact that they have developed feelings for my girl, I pull both of my brothers in for a hug and thank them for dropping everything to help me when I needed them. 

Allie pulls Walter in for a hug first, quietly thanking him for being the calm level-headed man that he is. She reminds him to sleep and eat more regularly than he typically does and then she tells him she’ll miss him once more before kissing his cheek. Turning, she pulls August into a reluctant embrace. August looks somewhat awkward as he tries to deny himself of her presence but she ignores it.

“Gus, I’m gonna miss you! Thank you for everything you did for me and for Austin. He is so lucky to have a big brother like you and I hope one day I’ll get to be a part of this family. I couldn’t be luckier.” She says and I see his eyes deflate with reality. She will hopefully become his sister in law one day. 

“I’ll miss you too, Al. You already are a part of this family as far as we’re concerned.” He says quietly as she hugs him. 

Pulling back, she looks at him with seriousness. 

“Don’t kill anyone.” She warns and he relaxes and rolls his eyes. 

“No promises.” 

“Where are you headed?”

“That’s confidential.” He replies quickly and she rolls her eyes in return.

“Well, be safe and call us if you need us.” He nods and I know he won’t call. 

August and Walter say a quick goodbye to each other and I’m grateful to see that they have squashed any tension between the two of them before separating. 

August climbs into his sports car, while Walter jumps into his truck and they both drive out, slinging loose gravel in their wake. 

“Hm..I’m gonna miss them. You’re so lucky to have family like August and Walter.” Allie sighs.

“Yeah, I am. I’m even luckier to have you.” I place a kiss on her forehead and she smiles warmly before wrapping her arm around mine and we head back inside of the house. Our home.

"Popcorn and movie in bed?" She suggests and I agree.

"You can have whatever you want, sweet darlin'."

Chapter 19

You took a sip from your Santa themed mug and you felt...at peace. Something that could only be described as domestic bliss hung in the air. You had a hard time keeping your eyes away from the rugged man sitting next to you. For a second you could picture Sy sitting at the holiday table with your family. You could see him talking about cars with your dad, or carrying your older sister's little girl on his arm...maybe one day even some little ones of your own...Oh, you bet he'd be an amazing father...son in law...husband..

"Sugar? Hey, Sugar?" Sy's voice accompanied with some leg squeezes snapped you out of your thoughts, "Huh?"

"The oven is beeping, Sugar. I think your cookies are done."

"Oh shit, right", you hopped up and made your way to the kitchen, mentally cursing yourself for even daring to think about your roommate like that.

Things with Sy had been.. peculiar. It felt wrong to say weird, cause that sounded negative, and in no way, shape or form would you describe living with him negatively.

When you told Liz about the night at the Kent mansion, she was absolutely ecstatic, until you clarified that nothing had actually happened...

Well...

November 23rd, 8:47 AM

When you first stirred awake, you had difficulty orienting yourself. Until you realised there was a pair of warm, large arms wrapped around you, pressing you against a warm hairy chest, and a hard..OH MY GOD-

Your eyes flew open immediately and you froze. It was wild how the body could go from a state of absolute relaxation and comfort to full high alert in a split second.

You tried your hardest not to move as your mind updated you on where you were and how you got here.

You were at your boss's mansion, house-sitting with your ridiculously attractive roommate for whom you may or may not harbour a massive crush, with whom you may or may not hoped to finally hook up last night.

When you had walked in on Sy fast asleep, part of you was relieved. Nothing had to change, you could just sleep next to him and you'd still be just roommates, maybe at most this would be an official upgrade to "friends", but that was it.

Yet here you were, the morning after your juvenile sleepover, snuggled in his arms with his massive, rock hard cock pressed against your ass.

Sneaking out wasn't an option. He was a military man. The slightest movement would alert him. You weren't ready for the confrontation, nor did you want to embarrass him. Your thoughts raced along with your heartbeat, and before you could come up with your next move, Sy woke up.

You felt his muscles tense and his breath hitch against your neck, your eyes closed instinctively, you tried to relax your body and slow down your breathing.

"Sugar?..." he whispered unsurely, you stayed quiet.

"Fuck...fuck fuck fuck...oh fuck not now...shit", he mumbled curses under his breath, clearly aimed at himself, or at least...a part of himself.

You felt him gently move back, and you had to use all your willpower not to stop him or chase his warmth. Maybe you should have, maybe you should have turned around and grabbed him, kissed him, finally told him how you felt...but you were too scared. Even tho he literally had a sign of his affection pressed against you, you were terrified of getting rejected by him. So you kept still and quiet.

Sy got up from the bed, slowly and silently. Your eyes stayed shut, but you heard him open the door to the bathroom. After that, all you could hear was the sound of the shower, you assumed it was cold.

You set up on the bed, and only a couple minutes later Sy emerged from the bathroom in nothing but a towel.

"Hi", you greeted him, looking at your phone to avoid having to look him in the eyes (or stare at his chest)

"Hey...did I wake you?", he replied, it was hardly noticeable, but still you could tell he was nervous.

"No, I uh...I just woke up, just now...", you stammered

He suggested you get some breakfast, you asked if he left you any hot water, he replied he only used cold.

November 28th, 09:56 AM - Thanksgiving Day

"Alright, I'm heading out! I'll be back tomorrow night, there's food in the fridge okay?

"Aye aye, captain", Sy replied from the couch, not bothering to look back at you, simply raising his beer.

You sighed, you knew Thanksgiving was a hard time for him. Bad memories. He had been in a foul mood since yesterday.

"Are you sure you don't wanna come? My mom always has too much food anyway"

"Sugar, I don't wanna ruin my own family's Thanksgiving with my brooding, why would I wanna ruin yours? Besides, someone needs to stay with Aika."

"You wouldn't ruin anything Sy, you and Aika would be more than welcome t-"

"I watched my men die last Thanksgiving. I have nothing to add to your celebration."

"Sy I'm-"

"Besides, I have nothing to be thankful for anyway," he cut you off again, his voice dripped with bitterness.

oh

alright.

The place was quiet for just a second before you replied "Got it", and moved to pick up your bag from the ground.

"Sugar..." he wanted to apologise, he didn't mean it how it came out.

You slammed the door shut before he even had the chance to say anything.

The drive to your mother’s place was only 45minutes but it felt like forever, tears prickled in your eyes as your mind went into full overthinking mode. The fact that you had just started your period this morning didn’t help either…

You ended up staying at your mother’s place for two nights instead of one. The next morning you woke up to a text from Sy;

“Hey, Im sorry about yesterday. I didn’t mean for that to come out the way it did…can you just let me know you’re okay? Sy.

Sent at 01:09AM”

You replied that you were fine and blamed your delay on the weather and having had too much to drink before finally getting in your car and driving home.

You got back to the apartment a little before noon, Sy was in his room, you could hear his PlayStation playing.

There was a box with a bow on it in the middle of the kitchen counter. Inside was a Polaroid camera with a note; “I'm thankful for you"

Great, now you’re tearing up again…

His door was half open, you knocked before pushing it open completely, polaroid in your hand.

“Hi”

“Hey, you’re home…” he looked up at you, all puppy eyed, immediately taking off his headphones, not caring that his character was getting shot to pieces.

“Yeah…”

“Look…Sugar…I really didn’t mean”

“Where did you get this?”, you asked curiously, holding up the camera.

“Uh…I bought it a couple weeks ago, it was supposed to be your Christmas gift…but I figured I should pull out all the stops”, he chuckled awkwardly.

You smiled at him, unable to help yourself you went up to hug him, and due to his position you found yourself sitting sideways on his lap as you pressed a kiss on his bearded cheek. “Thanks Sy, I love it” you said before wrapping your arms around his neck again and pulling him close. “and I’m thankful for you too” you whispered.

A chill went down his spine and he cleared his throat, “well uh…thanks Sugar”, just as you felt something starting to stir up under your thighs, he swiftly urged you off of him and placed his headphones and controller on his lap.

“Right, uhm, do you need any laundry done…I was just about to do mine” you pointed at his laundry basket

“Im a grown man sug, I can do my own laundry”

“I know that, but if Im doing it anyway…you can do the next load, big guy.”

You grabbed his basket and your camera and darted out the room, making a mental note to throw the panties you currently had on in the laundry too…

December 1st 15:47

“Come on, smile!”, *SNAP*, the camera flashed. After another batch of cookies, hot coco and an awfully good holiday romcom, you decided some fresh air was due. Besides, Sy needed the exercise for his leg and Aika needed to get outside.

“Sy, just one little smile that’s all I ask for” , *SNAP* ofcourse you had to take your brand new Polaroid camera with you. *SNAP*

Sy threw you the most forced smile ever. *SNAP*

"Perfect," you smiled. Aika barked happily, as if she were agreeing with you.

"Calm down, girl, daddy can't walk that fast," you said as she pulled on the leash.

"You can take the leash off, she'll come back when I call. There's no one around anyway," Sy added and took the leash from your hand, unhooking it from her collar. "Go on, girl, let's show mommy our party trick," he winked at you. Only then did it dawn on you that you had not only full-on called Sy "Daddy" out loud, but he referred to you as Aika's Mom...okay, surely it wasn't that deep, but still...you were her owners, both, equally.

Sy picked up a stick and threw it as hard as he could, "Go on Aika fetch!" he yelled out, "My leg might be busted, but I can still throw a stick", he added. "I can see that..." you replied. It seemed like you were referring to how fast and hard he threw the stick, but it was more the way you could see his bicep bulging through his sweater that made you...impressed...

Aika came back in no time, offering Sy the stick back.

"Good girl," he praised and scratched behind her ears.

Yup...your panties were ruined again...

December 6th 17:28

The pictures you took of Sy hung on the fridge. They made you giggle a bit every time you saw them. He looked so cute in his beanie, rough cheeks just a little rosy from the cold, looking all grumpy before finally complying and looking all adorable with his little smile, it made you giggle again.

"What's so funny?" Sy asked, putting his hand on your waist as he squeezed next to you, getting a mug off the shelf.

The proximity made you flustered, ofcourse it did. Even after months of living together, his presence made you nervous. Sometimes it felt like it got worse as time went by, especially after feeling his hard dick against you...twice.

You cleared your throat and moved away from him slightly. "Nothing, just happy with that Polaroid camera," you smiled, "Chinese tonight? I don't feel like cooking," you said, grabbing your keys off the bowl on the kitchen table.

"I could always cook. What are you craving?" he turned to you, holding his steaming cup of coffee, sweatpants hanging low on his hips, that slutty little shirt riding up enough to show that damn happy trail and those arms...god, he could choke you with those arms and you'd say thanks...you Sy, I'm craving you...right here, right now, on the kitchen table...heck, on the floor...I crave you...

"Sugar?"

"Chinese!" you blurred out. "I just really want some...uh...Chinese...you can cook tomorrow."

"Alright, love. Have a good day at work."

You were out the door before you could say anything else stupid...

Work was long and boring, the most interesting part was probably Liz still raving about her Paris trip with Clark, although that was starting to get a little old, and the fact that the concept of TMI doesn't exist to Liz didn't help get your mind out of the gutter...

After work, you rushed home with a steaming bag of delicious Chinese food in your hands. You swung the front door open and called out, "Honey, I'm home!", a little jokey thing you and Sy started doing a while ago. Usually, he responded quite quickly, asking you about your day as the two of you got settled on the couch. Only today, there was no answer. You'd think he was out for a walk, but Aika was circling around you silently begging for head pets, and he rarely went anywhere without Aika.

You took off your shoes, put down the bag of food on the table, and gave Aika a stern look. "Don't touch that, okay, darling?" you said, scratching her head. You made your way down the hall, assuming Sy was in his room playing video games or something.

Well, he was definitely in his room...and definitely playing with something...

The sounds of his deep groans filled your ears with every step you took closer to his door. Heat crept up your cheeks, as if it were following the sound all the way to the tips of your ears. Your mouth fell open a little bit, you socked feet slowly shuffling closer, curious.

"GHhrah, fuck..." he sounded almost in pain, "fuck, just like that, baby"

You stopped dead in your tracks, and all the colour drained from your face. Baby? Oh my god, did he have someone in there? Is this what he got up to when you were at work? Bringing over women? Into the home you shared together?

You knew it wasn't fully justified; you weren't a couple, you were roommates. Just roommates. Just as you started to spiral, his voice cut through the silence in the hallway once more, only this time his groans were followed by a name, YOUR name.

He moaned out your name, sounding desperate and utterly consumed. It sounded so good coming from his lips. He cursed again, calling for no one but you and God.

A deep, guttural sound rumbled from his chest, and then it was quiet. So quiet you could hear his heavy breaths through the wall. Or was that you?

The realization struck that you were now standing right in front of his door. You had listened to him, doing something very private and very intimate. It was wrong, so wrong. You remembered how embarrassed he looked when he got hard against you, you can't imagine how mortified he would be if you knew you had not only heard him jerk off, you heard him moaning your name while doing it.

You got dragged from your thoughts when you heard him shuffle around behind the door.

shit shit shit you had to get out of here...you tried your best to make your steps as big yet quiet as possible and made your way back to the front door. His bedroom door opened, and you heard the tap run in the bathroom as he washed his hands. You opened the front door again and slammed it shut, as though you had only just walked in.

"H-honey...I'm home!"

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Chapter 16

Allie POV:

Blinking against the harsh fluorescent light shining in from the hallway, I look at August like he’s lost his mind.

“What the hell are you doing?” I whisper.

“Want to try your luck at being a bad girl?” He winks with a smoldering expression.

Groggily, I still process his words. “What?” 

“Still wishing you had kicked Spencer in the nuts or slapped the shit out of him? I’m giving you a chance to actually do it. Consider it an early Christmas gift.” August smirks as he gestures to the wheelchair.

“August, you can’t be serious! I’d get caught!” 

“Allie, it’s after 2 am and the night shift nurse is almost comatose at the back desk. C’mon.”

“You’re trying to make me a delinquent.” I accuse.

“I’m giving you the opportunity to stand up for yourself. It’s different. Now, if you wanna do it, we can’t fuck around. We gotta go now and be quick. It’s only a matter of time before Daddy Warbucks and his team of lawyers show up. But... if you’re too scared….” He convinces.

I smile conspiratorially at August and flip the thin blankets off of my legs. Ripping off the clear tube out from under my nose that’s pushing oxygen, I toss it on the bed. Sitting up, my whole body aches but I ignore it as I’m filled with a nervous excitement.

August walks over to help me from the bed, and I’m startled when his warm arms wrap around me and pick me up to carry me against his chest before he places me in the wheelchair.  Leaning with his face down right in front of me, I can see small subtle differences between August and Austin. August’s eyes are slightly darker blue with little bits of yellow in them. He stares into my eyes as if he’s asking a question, and I’m scared that he’ll actually voice it if I don’t deflect.

 “Not without Austin.” I demand. August rolls his eyes standing straight and distancing his body from mine. 

“He’s gonna bitch at me and throw a fit.”

“He’s my soulmate, and he should be with me.” I stand my ground and hope he catches the undertone of my words. 

August sarcastically gestures at a sleeping Sy who does not seem to be snoring any longer but can’t remember when his snores stopped.

“Austin, baby? Can you wake up for a sec?” I coax from the wheelchair across the room.

“I was already starting to with all the whisper yelling y'all are doing.” He mumbles with his eyes closed.

“Alright, I guess we’ll let you get some more sleep if you don’t want to see me bitch slap my ex.” I say dismissively. 

“Let’s go, August.” 

Not a full 10 seconds later, Sy is on his feet and grabbing the wheelchair from August’s grasp.

“August, what the fuck are you trying to do? She’s not going near him. She needs to rest!” He roars at his brother.

“SHHH!” I shush him and he arches that eyebrow at me. I’ve always found that to be so sexy.

“I’m doing it and you can’t stop me!” His eyes widen.

“Hell if I can’t!” He dares, not used to being challenged.

“I’d like you to come with me, please. Consider it my closure to this whole thing.” I explain as I look up at him with pleading eyes.

“Sugar…” He almost whines as he crouches down in front of me where August had just been.

“Please, baby? I’ll do that thing you like when I get out of the hospital.” I whisper with a bite to my bottom lip as I imagine myself on my knees for Austin. August fakes a gag which makes me giggle and I feel Austin’s defenses start to fall. Standing up, he stares at the blank wall with a contemplative inhale and exhale before turning towards me again.

 “August will guard the door and nurse’s station.” He’s not going to stop me!

“Fuck no, this was my idea!” August protests but Austin ignores him entirely as he continues to speak to me directly. 

“I’ll give you sixty seconds before I’m throwing your ass in that wheelchair and bringing you right back here to put that oxygen on ya. Ya understand?” He orders and my heart flutters. Ooh, I think I like that bossy tone more than I should. Maybe it’s because I know he would never abuse it or me.

“Yes, Captain.” I smirk and blink up at him from the edge of the bed. Sy growls under his breath.

“You’ll pay for that when you’re all healed up, Sugar.” He whispers before grabbing the wheelchair handles. I’m tempted to fight against riding in the wheelchair as it makes me feel weak, and I need to feel strong for what I’m about to do; but I know if we need a quick exit I’m probably not in the best condition for running. My fingers nervously twitch and squeeze my fingernails as we we make our way across the hospital unit.

August is the definition of pure stealth as he navigates the drab hallways of the hospital and I find myself easily impressed that such a large man can somehow become so silent and unassuming. Syverson on the other hand, isn’t nearly as surreptitious by nature but he walks with this air of authority that people naturally respect, yet find uncomfortable. It’s powerful, like he knows he is in charge and would be absolutely insulted if anyone dared questioned him. He walks like a Captain. He pushes the wheelchair silently but with purpose. Luckily for us, the hallways are essentially a ghost town this late at night and the overworked and unappreciated nurses are exhaustedly charting or restocking med carts for the next shift change or emergency.

Rounding the corner, August spots a young nurse who is surprisingly lively for such a late hour. Is she doing a TikTok dance? Good grief.

“August.” Sy prompts and August disappointedly rolls his eyes and crosses his arms. Looking up at him pleadingly, I even pout my lip in exaggeration.

“Fine. You owe me.” He huffs before heading down a different hallway in the opposite direction. We wait in silence for whatever he chooses as a distraction and Austin leans down towards me.

“You don’t have to do this. You don’t have to prove your strength to anyone. You’re the strongest woman I know.” He reassures.

“Baby, I have been suppressed by him for long enough. I imagined what I would do if I ever saw him again and was so certain that I would stand up for myself. When I opened that door and saw him standing there, all of my thoughts just completely stopped. I don’t want to give him that control over me anymore.” I whisper and with an introspective nod, he kisses my forehead. We suddenly hear an intercom beep loudly with announcements.

“Attention personnel: Code Blue-Cardiac Unit Room 206! Code Blue-Cardiac Unit Room 206!” 

“Attention personnel: Code Blue-Cardiac Unit Room 213! Code Blue-Cardiac Unit Room 213!”

“Attention personnel: Code Blue-Transplant Floor Room 304! Code Blue-Transplant Floor Room 304!”

We watch as the graveyard shift nurses scatter like ants and run hastily toward the different emergencies on our floor and the floors below us, while Austin quickly pushes my wheelchair to the open door of a room that is now completely unattended.

In the dim lighting I see similar features of Spencer, although now swollen, bruised, and wrapped in bandages. He looks like hell. My guys really did a number on him.

Austin pushes me towards the bed and I stand and look down on him. I watch as Austin removes the nurse call button remote from his reach before we share a meaningful glance followed by an encouraging nod from Sy.

After a deep breath, I reach over and forcefully grab Spencer's swollen jaw between my fingers. Spencer jolts in surprise at the painful sensation as his one eye that currently opens fully, blinks throughout the dark room in an attempt to decipher what is hurting him.

“It’s me.” I whisper with sugary sweetness and smile laced with pure malice as my fingers press harder into his swollen cheek. The heart monitor’s steady beeping begins to increase as he is forced into consciousness.

“Wow, you really look like shit. It’s fitting that you can’t talk, but you can listen... for once!” I smirk at my own little joke before continuing.

“I just needed to come and tell you, that I'm done being the sweet, polite doormat that you abused and controlled. That girl died last night, and I don’t think you’re prepared for the shit storm you just created. You are nothing but a spec of dirt on my shoe, Spencer Elliott. I want you to know that I will never think about you again after tonight. No, this ends here and now. You will think of me though. Every single day for a very long time, you’ll think about who you tried to break. I am like a phoenix that has risen from ashes and you, God, you’re nothing more than a spoiled playboy with a small dick living off of daddy’s credit card.” I whisper into his face before letting his jaw, now medically tied together, fall limp.

He grunts in response before I rare back and slap his cheek with such force that it echoes in the silent room and my hand stings. It reminds me of the first night that he slapped me in the hallway outside of that event room. Spencer’s muffled grunts and wails are heightened as he twists and turns in agony in the tiny hospital bed. Smiling at his discomfort, I turn back toward the wheelchair and climb in. I feel no guilt as I watch the spit dribble down his chin and his face red in agony.

Austin passes me, and leans forward to pin Spencer’s flailing arms to the bed. 

“You listen here, you little piece of shit. If you or your father ever so much as say her name, I swear to God, I will bury you so deep that even the buzzards won’t know where to find your sorry ass. Stay the hell away from her, ya hear me? Daddy can’t protect you from me. He sure didn’t last night did’e?” Austin sneers before standing up straight and playfully bumping a fist against his swollen jaw that incites another painful moan from Spencer’s core.

“Glad we’re on the same page then.” Austin huffs before he comes back to me and pushes my wheelchair towards the door, pausing to fling the divider privacy curtain further around Spencer to keep him hidden from view of the nurse’s station as he continues to writhe in pain.

I feel so much lighter as the adrenaline pulses through my body and we quickly make our way back to my hospital room where August stands against the wall with an obvious pout at missing the fun.

I giggle at his expression before standing from the wheelchair and pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek with a “thank you, Gus.” A slight twitch in his mustache appears and he quickly rolls his eyes.

“Not Gus either. I’m not the type of man for a nickname.” He huffs as he follows me into my room and I smile brighter. Austin helps me back in bed but I scoot to the edge and pat the open space. He arches that signature brow that all 3 of these men share, and gives me a you’re crazy if you think I can fit on that tiny bed with you look.

“Please? I wanna snuggle with you.” I beg and I watch this bear of a man instantly melt and toe off his boots with a disapproving shake of his head. Awkwardly, he clambers onto the narrow bed and I instantly nuzzle into his warm inviting chest to inhale a big breath of my favorite and most comforting scent. Him. Austin threads the oxygen tubing back up to my face and hooks them over my ears. I consider protesting, but I know I won’t win that argument so I count my blessings that I already got a win from him tonight. Tucking my hair out of my face, he presses a gentle kiss to my forehead as I sigh with contentment. August stands there staring at us awkwardly before speaking.

“Well, uh..g’night.” He speaks uncomfortably before he turns back to the door until I stop him.

“Gus!” Crossing his arms, he spins to stare at me with exasperation.

“Yes, AL?” He adds with sarcastic inflection and I smirk. 

I point to the recliner next to the bed. “Don’t you want to hear all the details about how it went?” I grin and huffs a quiet "fuck yeah" before making his way to the chair.

Austin and I spend the next hour recounting the final interaction with Spencer before he informs us that he also hacked the security system and removed any evidence of us entering Spencer’s hospital room.

“As far as he’ll be concerned, it was just a vivid hallucination.” He jokes and we can’t help but laugh feeling so much lighter.

AUGUST POV: 

I’m disgusted with myself at this moment as I lower the brunette nurse that I spoke to when we entered the hospital, down from where I had her pressed against the wall of an empty hospital room. I’ve done worse things in worse locations. Her giggle is sweet, but isn’t the one that I was imagining. No, that one belongs to my little brother's girlfriend.

Pulling the condom off and flinging it into a medical waste bin, I pull my pants back up and fasten my belt. Handing the nurse her scrub top that I had thrown as she attempts to put her pants back on is the least I can do. Pulling her in for one more kiss, a goodbye kiss, I wordlessly head toward the door.

“Don’t you want my number?” Kaley, according to the name tag on her scrub top, asks hopeful.

“Sweetheart, you’re gorgeous and I clearly enjoyed myself but I travel abroad for work and probably won’t ever come back here. I would just disappoint you.” I offer and see her face fall.

“Thanks for a good time.” I continue out the door anyway. 

It’s a dick move for sure, but wouldn’t asking for her number and pretending that I’ll call even worse? At least now she knows what this was. A random fuck to get the woman that I can’t have off of my mind and to hopefully leave any emotions that I didn’t know I had in the trash with the used condom. A bit of stress relief, for me.

Shift change for the nurses is seemingly happening now that it’s 6 am, so there’s a flutter of mostly half-asleep women gawking at me as I make my way down the hallway.

I peak into Allie’s room and see her still snuggled on top of my brother and sigh. Its just jealousy pricking at my heart. I’ve never wanted more than what I have and my entire life has been dedicated to excelling in my career. I won’t allow myself to be distracted any longer. Still, there was a moment when Allie and I were face to face in that dim room where I felt the tension, the heat between us. It took every bit of self-control that I typically never exhibit to keep from kissing her.

Yet, when I saw how Austin melts to give her whatever she asks for, I realized how deeply in love he is with her. I can’t deny they have something that is real; maybe they are soulmates, if I even believed in that shit. Seeing them together now has solidified it though. She will choose him, and I could never betray my baby brother like that and ruin his happiness. Stalking down the hallway, I decide to go in search of some food but I see Walter first. 

SYVERSON POV:

I finally get Allie home from the hospital and obviously bring her straight to my house. Walter and the Rebels spent the day clearing out her apartment after Allie agreed to move in with me. We discussed it while lying in the hospital bed and planning our next steps for after she got discharged. I couldn’t have been more thrilled for her to agree.

We decided that since all of her furniture was new (and matching), we would replace most of my mismatched bachelor pad furniture thrown together from thrift stores after returning from the army, with the few items she had in her apartment. I was thankful when the crew agreed to move her things to my house for us, as I knew it would be easier for her to settle in and feel more at home. They kept asking how they could help, and this gave them some tangible way to contribute. We decided to let it remain a surprise as everyone was already dying to see her but the hospital wouldn’t allow such a large group to her room. Allie claimed that she was feeling completely healed, but I saw the bruises from my compressions when I helped her shower in the hospital, and saw how out of breath she became just from taking a shower. The doctors said that with a day or so of rest, she would be back to normal so I was trying to keep her calm.

            Walter showed up to the hospital that next afternoon with my truck and discreetly let me know that the apartment was cleaned out and all of her items were in my house where Julie, Annie and Eliza had spent the last several hours arranging things. I never had a woman’s touch in there, since I never brought women back to my place, so it felt like a long time coming.

I was even more grateful that Eliza sent Walter with a little bag of clothes for Allie to wear home. When Walter arrived, he waited in the hallway while I helped her dress in the clean undergarments, yoga pants, and loose t-shirt. She even had included a hair tie and toothbrush with toothpaste.

“This feels so much better than that hospital gown.” Allie admitted as soon as she was dressed and brushed her teeth.

“I’ll bet. Nothing’ll feel better than getting you home and getting in your own bed.” I reminded her. The nurse would be bringing discharge papers in soon.

“I’ll just be ready to be at your house.” She said sweetly. I’m happy I arranged to have her things moved to my house during this.

“Yeah, maybe we can get in bed with some popcorn and watch a movie?” I ask and she nods excitedly. 

Walter came back to the room when she was ready and informed us that Paul Elliott had stormed into the hospital early this morning demanding that his son be transferred to a hospital in Charlotte, as these “hillbilly doctors would probably kill him.” The police informed him that due to Spencer being the prime suspect of a police investigation, any transfer out of district would have to be approved by a judge, and if it were approved, he would have to be returned to the jurisdiction immediately upon discharge. Paul, furious that the hospital didn’t immediately bend to his will and power, huffed off claiming that his lawyers would be in touch and he would be filing a lawsuit. Walter was able to talk to confer with the hospital’s legal department and calm their fears of a lawsuit.

After she got discharged, Walter rode back to my place with August and I carefully loaded up Allie into my truck. She really was trying to act like she was completely healed, but I was observant of each little twitch or deep breath she took from the bumps of the uneven roads. I had to force myself to keep my eyes on the road, but all I wanted to do was stare at her and continue thanking God that she was alive. Kissing the top of her hand sweetly, I intertwined our fingers as we rode home. Our home.

Pulling up the gravel drive, I smiled at all of the motorcycles out front near the porch. Banana’s was on the porch swing with Eliza and the both stood at our approach. Banana’s yelled inside, likely for the others and came to Allie’s door before the truck fully stopped.

“Damn girl! Dying sure did you good! You look like a real-life angel!” He boasts and I find myself irritated at his easy dismissal of such a serious event.

Allie climbs out of the truck before I can help her and Banana’s wraps her in a tight hug that lifts her off of her feet. I hear the gasp and soft wheeze from her and immediately rip Banana’s off of her small frame.

“Damnit, Sy! What the fuck? I’m not trying to steal your woman! Calm down.” 

“She’s injured dipshit, you just squeezed her and she’s covered in bruises from the CPR.” I growl at one of my best friends who immediately looks guilty.

“Oh shit, I didn’t think! I’m so sorry. Did I hurt you?” He apologizes but Allie has already recovered.

“No, no! I’m fine! Just didn’t expect it.” She placates him and Eliza shakes her head at him.

“He’s like a golden retriever, even the most loyal ones will accidentally knock you down when they get excited.” She jokes and Bananas actually looks a bit embarrassed. Allie gently hugs Eliza before going to Bananas and initiating a much gentler hug. I swear he just stands there as she carefully hugs him and whispers, “don’t worry about him. He’s just extra protective lately.” 

All of the rebels come piling out of my home to greet us, in addition to Walter and August. I stand there on the porch surrounded by my family, both blood and self-made, all radiating love and appreciation for one another. For once, I see how every person interacts and it all fits. It’s a bit dysfunctional at times, but the love present is immense. Even X offers Allie a silent hug and I know without a doubt she’s been accepted to the crew and they will protect her like a sister.

“We’ve been hard at work, and wanted to show you both a few things.” Annie says as she holds Allie’s hand and leads the charge back into the house. We all follow and I see that all of Allie’s items are perfectly arranged into our home. The crew worked so hard getting this all done in one day. Walking through the house, Allie has tears in her eyes from the gesture, and I quickly kiss her wrist on the hand that I’ve now taken from Annie who, along with Julie and Eliza, are explaining their interior décor decisions and offering Allie the discretion to change anything guilt free.

After touring the new upgrades to the house, we land in the kitchen. Annie’s motherly instincts have overtaken her, and my kitchen houses a full buffet style dinner that could feed an army. Mike begins passing out plates and we all pile up throughout the small kitchen and living room with comfort food as we discuss all of the events over the past 48 hours.

We update the girls on the events with Kimmy and the Outlaws, several members give their versions of what happened at Allie’s apartment, and we both learn that after the ambulances had left, the entire crew spent about 5 hours waiting in the waiting room of the hospital. Eventually, they were asked to leave as there had been complaints of the “intimidating looking bikers camped out in the waiting area.”

Even Walter and August have started letting loose, as Walter removes his usual sweater for a comfortable flannel, and August enthralls Dalton and Jared with how he snuck up behind Spencer locking him into a chokehold and then giving a play by play of the fight.

Finally, August mentioned how Allie had gotten her final say with Spencer, and that had the Rebels absolutely wild! 

“Hell yeah, Allie! I bet he spent the rest of the night crying like bitch!” Eliza holds up a beer in a toast manner.

“I don’t know what came over me, but damn if it didn’t feel good!” Allie laughs.

“Careful, Sy. She might start smacking you around if you ain’t careful!” Mike chimes in.

“I would never!” Allie promises and I smirk.

“Maybe just in the bedroom then.” I joke and Allie turns beet red as the guys are all howling and chiming in with stupid innuendos.

“Wooooo-wee! I never thought I’d see the day that Cap got locked down by a little lady, but I’m loving it!” Banana’s cheered as he fist bumped Allie who surprisingly giggled and bumped knuckles with him.

I notice Walter glance down at his beer bottle sullenly. Hm.

“To our newest addition, and Cap’s ole lady!” Mike proposes a toast and they all hold up various bottles of beer or glasses with liquor and toast to Allie. I’ve never felt more complete or more pride than I do in this moment. 

Much later than I had anticipated, everyone began cleaning up their stuff and preparing to head home. We were exhausted from the events with the hospital, and they were tired from moving Allie’s apartment. Before they all left, Allie spoke.

“I just wanted to thank you all accepting me so easily, even with all of the drama that surrounds me. Between Kimmy, my parents, the police bust, and Spencer, I wouldn’t have blamed y’all one bit if you wanted me out. So, thank you for dropping everything to help these last few days and for moving my things in today. It was unexpected and so incredibly thoughtful and I’m so excited to be living here. Sy has the family I’ve always dreamed of being a part of, right here in this room.” Pressing a barely there kiss to the crown of her hair, we start saying goodnight to our friends.

Annie and Eliza are busy cleaning up the kitchen with Mike and Bananas, claiming they would not leave us with a mess even when we tried to stop them. Once hugs were given, the final few left and it was just me, Allie, Walter and August.

As I was attempting to encourage Allie to head to bed, because I know she is absolutely exhausted, Walter got our attention.

"I just wanted to let y'all know that August and I have been talking and we're going to head on out tomorrow."

"I.. I don't want either of you to go. I know y'all have lives but it's been so amazing having y'all here. I don't want it to end." Allie says quietly.

"I know, but y'all deserve your privacy now that the danger and chaos is done. I'm sure Austin will be ready for us to get on." Walter tries to joke but it's off.

"Nah, man. We haven't spent this much time together since we were kids. I've loved having y'all back."

"Well, our jobs have projects waiting on us I'm afraid." Walter dismisses. I understand the need to get back, but something feels off.

"Don't you dare leave before we say goodbye in the morning. Promise?" Allie demands and they agree.

I lead Allie toward the stairwell and glance back to see Walter and August share an unspoken conversation in one look.

Do they think I haven't noticed?