#captain gregson

Sherlock crashes Joan's car in the first episode. This is never addressed again.

Sherlock goads Joan into an illegal autopsy after he kept doing it wrong

One time Sherlock comes home with a human head and has no idea where he got it

Moriarty has a daughter who is kidnapped. Sherlock and Joan have to rescue her. With Moriarty.

Moriarty kills someone who tries to assassinate Joan and then sends her a letter basically equaling out to “only me kill you <3″ 

Joan beats up a cop in a boxing ring. Then she annoys Joan again so Joan prepares for round #2.

Joan shaves Sherlock's head on purpose. At his request. He is bald or almost bald for several episodes. 

Someone mocks Sherlock and Joan asks the man "what's the hardest you've ever been hit?”

Joan threatens to stab Sherlock in the thigh with a push-pin if he doesn’t pay attention to a meeting (she has the push pin the whole scene in her hand)

Sherlock and Joan take down an entire drug gang in like a weekend.

Sherlock goads Gregson into marrying his girlfriend for insurance.

They keep roosters for like four episodes because Sherlock is trying to teach them to get along

Lestrade takes a helicopter to go down the block

“I’m Gay” “I am not” “No that’s my name. But I am actually gay, so it saves time.” “How efficient.” 

Sherlock becomes friends with a serial killer

Sherlock and Joan need help with a case so they go visit a detective in stolen antiquities who demands their help with a SEPERATE case that Sherlock solves in ten seconds

“Tell me you didn’t start that fire” “I didn’t start that fire” 

Sherlock’s solution to dealing with annoying neighbors is to start sculpting bushes with a chainsaw

In order to stop Marcus from assaulting someone, Sherlock assaults them first

Joan gets attacked by a serial killer and when Sherlock looks at her with big puppy eyes of apology she tells him that she’ll break his rib if he apologizes

One of Marcus’ professors refuses to teach Marcus because of a grudge they hold against Sherlock

“I’ve been robbed. How offensive.”

A LOT of people Joan knew get murdered (this is weird now that I’m thinking about it, I can think of at least three people)

Mycroft and Joan dated

“Her first hidden body, you must be so proud.” “You’re jesting, but I am.” 

“You don’t know I play the violin?” “Until last week I didn’t know you ate food.” 

Sherlock gets into a disagreement with his father and his solution to dealing with his frustration is to squeeze an entire honey jar down the drain 

Joan publishes a book detailing Sherlock’s life SOLEY for revenge after Reichenbach 

No one can understand Sherlock’s texting except for Joan, who used the fact he WASN’T talking like a teenager to realize he’d been kidnapped 

“It’s the orange high lighter, it always brings bad luck.”

Joan dyes her hair blonde to deal with a personal crises 

Joan and Sherlock lie under oath about breaking into people’s houses because they “heard puppies and babies under distress”

“Holmes and Watson are tracking down some sort of Holmes and Watson thing.”

Joan’s adoption lawyer lies about failing to notify her of meetings and Sherlock gets a king involved

Joan meets her sister because her sister runs an illegal poker game

Clyde. Just. Clyde

Joan’s mother tells her that she thinks Joan’s brother is having an affair and when Joan vents her frustration about this, Sherlock tells her she can (and should) cut off her family

The first half of season three is basically Joan and Sherlock mentoring/parenting Kitty 

Sherlock was SO CONFIDENT that his father wouldn’t show up to the meeting that he hired an actor to stand-in for his father (and he was right)

A consistent running gag of the series is Sherlock waking up Joan in new and strange ways

“Uncle Detective” “My child is not calling you detective.” 

(Spoilers under the cut because yes this show has been out for years, but experiencing it for the first time is so worth it and I'd hate to rob someone else of the opportunity):

Elementary Sherlock and Joan

The person you love most in the world.