#capt'n

   The clock on the nightstand read 1:00 AM. It was our last night at the lodge; we were leaving at sunrise. As I sat up, I could feel Capt’N shift in his sleep beside me, turning over on his side. I sighed, standing up all the way and left our room. Maybe some fresh air would do me good. I hadn’t been able to sleep at all for some reason. 

   The lodge had a wrap-around porch with a coffee table in between two brown armchairs. I plopped down on one, bringing my knees up to my chest and rested my forehead against my knees. I could hear the leaves rustle as the wind blew softly, and the crickets chirping their love songs. There was a certain peacefulness to this. It was calming. 

   Yesterday had been relaxing. We actually all got along for once, with no bickering. I think Katana was trying to make it up to Cyrus for punching him in the jaw by refraining herself from starting any arguments. She was actually a really nice person the more you got to know her, just strong willed. We had tried to make s’mores last night for the group as a surprise, but we actually ended up almost burning down the room… Luckily, Domilia showed up and put out the fire. She then explained very patiently that we should make the s’mores outside. And then we did. The night turned out to be really fun. The six of us sitting in a circle on the grass, s’mores on the ends of our forks, looking up at the stars.. Laughing and joking… It was something that made me smile right now as I recalled it. I hadn’t enjoyed myself like that in a while.. I didn’t know that I had missed it.

   I heard footsteps approach, and then a soft sigh as someone sat in the other armchair. A groggy voice spoke.

   ”Why aren’t you sleeping?”

   ”I can’t sleep.. why aren’t you?”

   ”I felt your absence.”

   ”Oh.”

   Capt’N smiled tiredly, his eyes closed. I studied his features, taking it in. The ends of his hair fell to his eyes in the front, but down to his neck in the back. His chest rose and fell slowly as he rested, and I could just barely make out the outline of his pendant below the collar of his shirt. It wasn’t clear to me what it was, though.. His lips turned upwards in a smile as he opened one eye, glancing at me through his peripherals.

   ”I can feel you staring at me.”

   I smiled now, moving my gaze to the dark sky lit up with stars.

   ”Sorry. I was trying to figure out your pendant.”

   ”Oh, that?” He shrugged and took it out from under his shirt, holding it up for me to see. 

   ”It’s… What? Why is it broken?” I frowned.

   ”It’s not broken. That’s part of the design. It’s supposed to be a broken heart. The Divinities told me, but they didn’t tell me why. Apparently we’re supposed to discover the meanings on our own.”

   I could feel him staring at me, now. 

   ”Hey.. Marce?” His voice softened. I looked at him only to find a serious expression on his face. I should have known he would bring it up.

   ”I know, I know. The Augury. I just.. I don’t see why you’re so eager to discuss it. Or believe it! It was prophesied before even our grandparents were alive; how do you know it’s still true?”

   ”Because the Divinities are never wrong and you know it.”

   He was right about that. They knew everything. But still.. I couldn’t bring myself to accept it. And even if I wanted to accept it, I didn’t want it to happen just because it was supposed to happen. I would want it to happen because it’s what I would want.

   ”Look, Vin- shit, sorry. I forgot for a second. I didn’t mean to almost-use your real name.” I sighed, chastising myself for forgetting.

   He shook his head, smiling lightly.

   ”You know I already gave you permission to use it. You’re the only person I want to use it, Marce.” 

   ”I know, but it doesn’t feel right. And it feels personal, too personal. It feels more like us fulfilling the Augury rather than two friends being chummy with another.”

   ”Understandable. But back to the matter at hand, I think we should really talk about it. Nothing being held in, just us letting it out. why don’t you want the prophecy to come true?”

   This was why I didn’t like being alone with him. I hated having to confront my problems, and he always faced his headstrong.

   ”Look, you’re a good guy and all but I just don’t want this to be forced. I don’t want anything between us to happen because you feel it needs to. I’m not trying to be your ‘duty’ in order for our race to continue existing. I want…” He had me really going, now. I closed my eyes, thinking of everything I wanted, everything I never had the chance to have.

   ”..I want real romance. I want roses and soft kisses that tell me everything you could never say. I want your arms wrapped around me, pulling me to you when I’m sad and crying because that’s the only place I’ll ever feel comfort and warmth. I want to cook in a kitchen together, getting into food fights and laughing and kissing while we’re messy and covered in food because that’s couples in love do. I want late night talks of our future and our fears and our hopes and dreams.. I want to hear a cute song on the radio and not be able to wipe off a goofy grin because you’ll be on my mind. I want.. I want walks in the rain with an umbrella big enough for the both of us, because we’ll be cocooned as if we were in our own little world. I want so many things, Capt’N, so many things. But the one thing I will not stand for, is being used as a task just so a prophecy can come true. I will fight it with every fiber in my being. because sometimes, fate is so fucking wrong.” A tear rolled down my cheek and I frowned, wiping it away. Why am I crying, damn it..

   His eyes had widened slightly while I talked, but he had stayed silent. Now he had his head tilted, furrowing his eyebrows.

   ”Marce, what makes you think I can’t give you that? I don’t see you as ‘task’ or a ‘duty’.” 

   ”But you don’t see me the way I would want, either. You haven’t known me long enough, to. We’re still practically strangers.” 

   ”Really, now? If I can recall…

   ’A short relationship shall bloom from the very start to the end,

   The Youngest and the Eldest shall become fast friends,

   And from there it shall blossom and turn sweet,

   Until their inevitable faux defeat.

   Offspring and love shall save their race, 

   And will overpower the enemy in the face

   of troubling times, and yet their fate

   Is sealed because they are soul-mates.’

   Marce, from the start to the end, we’re soul-mates. I’ll do everything you want me to just to prove it to you.” He looked dead serious.

   A week. This guy has known me for a week. I shook my head as I stood up and stretched. Everything I said was true. I did want those things, but not with him. Not so soon. Even if I did feel fluttery whenever he looked at me or felt a certain emptiness whenever he wasn’t near, that didn’t mean we were soul-mates. And that certainly didn’t mean we were going to have children. Fate took away Matthew, and gave away Hope. I wasn’t going to let the Divinities make me fall for Capt’N just to have him taken as well. I’ll fight it every step of the way.

   ”I’m… Let’s talk more another time, okay? Now I just want to sleep.” I yawned. The look on his face said he wanted to talk now, but I could see he was also tired. After nodding, he stood up and we went back to our room, getting under the covers. Although this time, I was aware of how close we were, how our breathing was in tune, the warmth emanating off his body. 

you mean like watersports

deepgashes replied to your post: deepgashes replied to...

exactly like watersports

teeeheeeeeee