When I entered the coffee shop right on time, Capitalism was already sitting at the reserved table with a smart smile set on his face. Before I even had the chance to introduce myself, “You can never be too early for meetings!” he remarked, condescendingly. He was just over 50 years old, yet a sense of youthfulness dominated his face. It was surprising to me that he was able to look this young and lively when he worked all his lifetime draining the life out of his workers. The enigmatic expression on his face made it obvious that he hid a lot, but it also radiated the perfect amount of charm. Once you looked at Capitalism’s face, you were fixated and knew that he would become an unavoidable part of your life. The baristas in the coffee shop seemed to have been affected by him as well— as everyone was fully fixated on their jobs. I wasn’t surprised though; I was told his presence had this effect on workers.

Just as I attempted to introduce myself to him again, he cut me off: “Let me ask you something. Have you read my most recent book called ‘Increasing Productivity at Home: No Sleep Edition?” to which I responded, “Of course I did! It is the essential guidebook to survive in 2020.” He looked satisfied with my positive response, and told me he was eager to tell me everything he knew about how to thrive and make profit in modern society. His eyes glistened with joy and power as he prepared to tell me his biggest talents.

“One of my best assets is my ability to enter the subconscious minds of people and control them through thoughts they believe are their own. Have you ever felt your alarm clock leak into your dreams, waking you up with a terrible fear of being late for your job, your school, or your interviews? Have you ever punished yourself for not being productive enough within the day?” As Capitalism continued his monologue, his words eventually got more enthusiastic: “Most probably you did, because I have wired the brains of people to make them equate self-worth with productivity. This is how I maintain a sustainable working class to serve my many needs.”

The most effective way to control society is to impose beliefs that people eventually begin to internalize and act upon, I noted down in my little notebook. I could tell he was eager to continue. He added: “...and for those who are not productive enough, I make it very hard for them to have a good place within society.” “What do you mean?” I said. “Are you saying that you categorize unproductive people as odd and exclude them from society?”

“Yes!” said Capitalism. “How do you think mental conditions developed? How do you think, as a society, we decided on what was ‘normal’ or ‘abnormal’ in mental health? I classified people’s mental conditions according to their ability to function within my societal demands, instead of classifying them according to the distress they experience. Let me give you an example. In our culture, people who hear voices, or auditory hallucinations, are considered “psychotic.” However, in Indian or African cultures, these voices are considered playful, friendly, entertaining; and they are even interpreted as a message from positive spirits. I have made it so that only in my culture, those who experience intrusive thoughts are excluded from society and labeled as “abnormal” or “sick” — simply because of their inability to be productive.”

I was extremely intrigued. Capitalism had categorized mental conditions based on people’s ability to contribute to his insatiable desire for productivity. It fascinated me how people who are “psychotic” in our culture could be considered shamans who communicate with the spiritual world in other cultures. The most fascinating part was that Capitalism was not satisfied with excluding unproductive people from society — he also felt the need to profit off of them, which was why the mental health industry in the U.S. was as big as $19.6 billion. Eager to learn more, I asked: “What are other ways you make it hard for unproductive people to function properly within society?”

He replied: “Another example is disabled people. You see, these people are considered disabled only because I do not choose to provide enough accommodations for their needs. A person who uses a wheelchair is not disabled in a society with many well-placed ramps and elevators. By not providing such means for ‘disabled’ people to overcome physical or even mental barriers, I marginalize them, because they aren’t productive anyway.” He got closer to me and looked me directly in my eyes. Fervently, he added: “Only the productive people must thrive for me to achieve full power.”

What I was seeing here was that disabled people had been made disabled through Capitalism’s eagerness not to provide for unproductive people. How interesting was that Capitalism had altered our perception so deeply that we failed to consider societal barriers when defining what was normal. Capitalism did not even give me a chance to consolidate my thoughts, as he jumped in to explain yet another one of his talents:

“I also create insecurities, for the sole purpose of profit. If I can make people doubt themselves, I can get them to buy anything that they feel would overcompensate for this deep feeling of inadequacy. The beauty industry’s marketing approach is my biggest achievement in this manner. Had they never come up with specialized anti-age creams, no one would become so insecure about having wrinkles on their faces as they matured. No one would become so eager to purchase those creams. Had they never presented unrealistic women body types on magazine covers, no one would doubt their bodies and run to buy so-called “skinny detox tea.” There are many other examples, but the main message is that insecurity sells. So, it is in my best interest to impose insecurities on society to generate as much profit as I can.”

As I listened to Capitalism fervently and spitefully explain his most effective techniques, I realized that everything I had thought to be abnormal was simply an idea imposed on me by Capitalism and its values. Those who are considered severely mentally ill, disabled, insecure have been made that way by Capitalism himself. That was how he maintained his immense power; by reducing people to their productivity, excluding everyone that was not productive, and even making profit out of this cycle.

The time allocated for our coffee shop meeting was now over, and as we were preparing to leave, Capitalism told me one final thing, a “motto” he called it: “Man exploiting man is the basis for all power.” These were the words that I would never forget. I would also never forget how, even though he was the richest businessman in the world, he had left the bill for me to pay.

I left the coffee shop meeting with Capitalism as a transformed person, experiencing the uncomfortable consequence of becoming enlightened. What was I to do with this newfound information? Wasn’t I to become a college student who essentially aims to thrive in a society built on the values of Capitalism as well? From time to time, do I not define my self-worth based on my productivity, too? Which insecurities have I developed because of Capitalism’s ideas?