personal rant (ignor if you want i just need this to be said)
I know, i know, i know that my family tries..truly they do; but its all wrong
This summer i have the chance to go out of the country with my university and my family said that they will try to help in whatever way they can. So i ask them is we can fund raise; my mom says that they've spent too much money on my already. I try to calculate how much i've spent and i try to ask about it. It turns out that my dad has purchased something for me that is expensive that is supposed to be a surprise. They've already gotten me a laptop ( a cheap one at that, but i love it) so i have no idea what else they could have thought to get me; and honestly they know how important this trip is to me. If i can go on this trip then i would end up spending my birthday over there and compared to the crappy birthdays that i've had over my life span then this would be considered the perfect way for me to spend it.
I know how spoiled this sounds but this trip is important to me. The reason why it is important to me is that when i spend too much time at home I end up spending all my time in my room because my family and I end up arguing too much and i would really rather avoid fighting because then things get out of hand. And when I spend too much time in my room i loose focus on what is important to me and then i just get lost in my room and in my mind space and then I start to get depressed and end up not making art work. And with out my art I am not worth much.
I just want to know why they would think that whatever this is would be more important then going on this trip. I know they care about me and they try their hardest; but some communication would be helpful for all involved. But communication is not our strong point; voices start getting raised, hurtful comments start getting made, and all of this ends up in soooo much pain. I just CANNOT comprehend this situation at all right now.
