Jun 30
Girl halfway through an MSW: What if I also started a MLIS
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Girl halfway through an MSW: What if I also started a MLIS
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Things I want to say (but do not)
Why would you say that to me? You know that's something I am sensitive about.
Did you really just bring my family into this? My family has been nothing but kind to you. And your family is awful, you have no ground to stand on here.
Does it make you feel better about yourself to constantly bring up things you are better than me at? Does that help you in some way?
Just because you do not understand it does not mean my way of thinking is inherently wrong.
I would prefer if you did not tease me for having a disability.
You cannot even take care of yourself, what makes you think you could take care of someone else.
For someone who prides themself on being nicer than me, you're being awfully rude right now.
Did I do something? Are you mad at me? Are you ok? What is this about? Can I help? I want to help, but I don't even know if anything is wrong.
ok updates time :3
- my bestie/qpp graduated college! I traveled ~30 hours total to get to the ceremony and back.
- me and aforementioned bestie are moving in together in June!!!!! We got an apartment, have ordered furniture, I got us renters insurance, scheduled WiFi to be set up, etc etc etc so I am very proud of myself :3
- I have 2 more weeks of practicum 1 placement left, and then I can leave my terrible placement.
- I have an intensive course the first week of June which means classes every day 9-5 for 5 days. This is at the same time I’m moving in to new apt. yes this is poor timing but here we are
- I start my new job the week after that!
- I signed up for an improv class this summer! At second city improv so hopefully it will be a really good class.
- MY BESTIE IS MOVING TO MY CITYYYYYY YIPPEE
Summer job acquired! And I have an application out for an apartment
u ever. accidentally cause drama in ur city’s aro/ace discord server bc u didn’t end up going on a date with someone you met on a dating app and the person is still mad abt it 5 months later. bc i do. fucking apparently.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Hanging out with my coworkers is always such a strange experience bc they are infinitely cooler than me in every possible way and I feel incredibly lame when I’m around them.
They have tattoos and piercings, drink alcohol and smoke, go to clubs and parties, listen to metal and punk music, and are so confident and unapologetic. Meanwhile I drink like one alcoholic beverage a year, got high exactly one time, don’t go out to anywhere (wouldn’t know where to go or who to go with anyway) and always look as anxious as I feel, meaning extremely.
I am constantly thankful for having gone to a queer artsy private school for high school. It was completely normalized to be out and openly queer, and it made room for me to consider my own relationship to sexuality.
I had known queer people before going there, but only people who were closeted, or who were bullied for being openly queer. Having a space where that wasn’t the case gave me the courage to take that part of myself out from where I’d buried it and bring it into the light. Being a lesbian was an option I had never let myself consider before then.
anyway. I had my first shift today at an organization that does programming for queer youth and hearing about all the stuff they do brought me back to my high school days. maybe I can make that happen for other people. maybe I can be the openly queer person that lets people think maybe it’s not so scary to open those parts of yourself.
I keep refreshing my course page for winter semester hoping my new classes will appear so I can check the roster. I figure it will either mostly be people I already know or people who are new to me.
I am so scared of both these options.
If it’s all people I know, then I already know I find them infuriating and stupid and boring. They have no independent thought, not a single interesting personality trait or hobby, all deeply uninteresting. But at least that’s the devil I know, and it’s a mutual feeling that they don’t want to be friends with me.
If it’s new people, that’s somehow scarier. They don’t know me yet, they don’t know how outspoken I am, they don’t know to be prepared for my disagreements in class and opinionated personality in small groups.
And also, I don’t know them. It’s possible they’re all boring annoying people as well. Or maybe they’re not, they’re chill and cool and have interesting things to say… and then if they still don’t want to be my friend, it would feel like my heart was being ripped out.