#campion

Campion: I slept for almost 12 hours but might still be tired so let’s go for 12 more just in case. Pipkin: That’s a coma. Campion, already lying down: Sounds festive.

Blackberry: I can’t believe you live nearby, and you won’t let anyone crash at your place. Spartina: You people already know too much about me. Campion: I know exactly three facts about you, and one of them is that you won’t let any of us crash at your place.

Vervain: Hello, Campion. Campion: Vervain. I wondered why all the birds had suddenly stopped singing. What brings you here? Vervain: I heard you were under investigation by the Owslafa. Didn’t wanna miss that. Campion: So much time with your ear to the ground, it’s a pity a hrududu hasn’t run over your head.

Hazel: Final question. You and Blackberry have a dinner date booked at seven. At what time do you arrive? Campion: Seven. AM. Case the restaurant, run background checks on the staff. Can the cook be trusted? If not, kill him. Dispose of the body, replace him with my own guy no later than 4:30. Hazel: Well then I guess you’re ready. Campion: Really? Hazel: No. Everything you just said was absolutely insane.

Campion: Orchis, won't you shut up? Orchis: I love the sound of my own voice and I will not apologize for that.

Campion: I’ve only known Blackberry for a day and a half, but if anything happened to her, I would kill everyone in this room and then myself.

Campion, walking into the room: Sorry I'm late, I was doing stuff. Vervain, entering the room noticeably disheveled: HE PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS.