#calming techniques

Tiny Tim is a fun picture book that teaches the importance of emotional regulation! As Tim learns how to control his storm of emotions and avoid problem behaviors, he also learns how to separate himself from harmful narratives. The original book provides 8 additional pages for parents and caregivers to learn how to help their children navigate intense emotions and develop a positive sense of self.

The junior edition was created for independent reading with age-appropriate language for young people. This version allows them to learn alongside Tim as he gains control of his emotions and behaviors.

Tiny Tim: Navigating Stormy Feelings and Behaviors is available for purchase on Barnes & Noble.com: $16.99 Hardcover or $13 Paperback and on Amazon: $13.00 Paperback. The junior edition is also available on Amazon: $9.13 Paperback

Hello again! I'd be happy to.

As usual, Tech was fiddling with something while sitting in the cockpit. Flying through hyperspace had become usual for him, and so he liked tinkering or researching until it was time to come out of hyperspace.

You were sitting on your bunk going through some inventory information and research of your own. You started to feel tense, but continued working, hoping to work through it by counting your breaths and focusing on the job at hand. You reminded yourself of where you were. You were on the Marauder. You were surrounded by supportive people. Tech was nearby.

While this initially helped, it wasn't enough. Your chest felt heavy and it felt like you couldn't get enough air. You knew Tech was busy working, but maybe you could sit next to him. Maybe that would be enough. You got up and walked toward the cockpit, feeling extra weight in your legs and dizzy at the same time.

You managed to get out, "Tech?" between gulps of air.

He looked up and immediately put down what he was working on, got up, and put a steadying arm around you.

"Come on," he said softly.

—Bring facial coverings with you EVERYWHERE. Allergens, like cigarette smoke, pop up in any place at nearly every time. The facial coverings will act as a filter, and will help prevent continued exposure. That being said, you should still leave the area quickly since masks make breathing techniques a little more difficult. Thanks to the you-know-what, facial coverings have become more normalized, so it's not that strange to just slip one on. Also, you don't need to WEAR it everywhere, just bring it so you can pop it on if needed.

—This tip came from one of my previous doctors: caffeine acts as a stimulant and helps open your airways up. That being said, don't chug extreme amounts of caffeine, since anxiety can make your asthma attacks worse. Plus, the crash will be terrible.

—Have tea around in your house. I recommend having multiple kinds/flavors, that way you can change it up. I personally have both caffeinated and uncaffeinated teas, because there are times when I've had my max caffeine intake/I need to sleep soon. The vapors/warmth will help soothe your throat and open things back up, and sipping it will (hopefully) help you calm down. The caffeine thing especially applies here, since tea tends tends to have a more gentle caffeine affect. If you don't like bitterness, I recommend the brand Red Rose (it also has Sweet Temptations on the box, if that helps to find it lol). I personally have/have had the flavors Lemon Loaf and Strawberry Cheesecake. They come pre-sweetened with Stevia, and I've found that I don't need to add anything to it, when usually I have to add a ton of creamer, sugar, and everything nice. That being said, I've found honey helps soothe/coat my throat, as well as sweeten my tea. And, if you add a suitably flavored cough drop along with the packet (I always put them in the cup while the water is busy boiling so that mixing is a lot easier, and the bag tends to not float on the top), you have both flavoring and soothing. For less bitterness, I also recommend steeping your teas for the lowest recommended time.

—Have something to semi-mindlessly stare at. I often use video games, but stressful events like boss battles do NOT help. Looking out a window with tea in my hands and a blanket around my shoulders does help, though. Having a pet cuddle you also helps you to both cheer up and calm down. All of these above options should help you calm down and ease the attack.

—You should be resting, but for whoever's sake, SIT UP. It opens up your airways and makes coughing (if you have that particular reaction) slightly less distressful. Laying on my side also tends to help after the attack has passed, but I ultimately recommend propping yourself up with pillows/stuffed animals.

—Another thing that helps me, a lightweight with strong medications, is having a snack with carbs afterwards. I tend to get weak and hungry after all my treatments, so having a snack helps take that edge off and makes rest so much easier.

—Speaking during/after an asthma attack is hard. Try learning little bits of sign language to help you communicate. I frequently use the phrases "yes", "no", (sometimes shaking/nodding my head doesn't feel good, and just using my hands feels easier) "please", and "thank you". I also have basic knowledge of the alphabet to help me spell it out. However, if this is a struggle for you, the speech-to-text on Google Translate is another great tool. Just pop what you wanna say into the English/whatever language you're speaking box, then hit the little 🔉 button.

—I'm not sure if anyone else's doctor told them to use their emergency inhaler sparingly, but my most recent one had to inform me that is nonsense. Use it as soon as you have a problem, and don't hesitate to take a second dose if the first doesn't help within a minute. That being said, please don't exceed your limit. If multiple doses don't help within 30 mins-1 hour, try looking into either a stronger dosage or a nebulizer (which your doctor of course).

—If you have to walk/exert yourself to get to your morning destination, and if you have a daily inhaler, try using it a few minutes beforehand.

—If you're in school, I beg of you, GET A DOCTORS NOTE, if not multiple. I've had so many schools lock away my inhaler and say I need doctors notes just to approve having one in the first place, as well as say I need permission/supervision to take it, even in the nurse's office. Ask your doctor about having a doctor's note to carry it with you EVERYWHERE. I have purses and bags to easily carry it, along with a few other essentials, and the amount of fighting my parents and doctors have had to do against schools is ridiculous. Additionally, you might want to include a note about having your phone with you all the time for emergencies. Might be a little harder to argue for, but it's worth asking.

—This seems fairly obvious but is hard to remember in the moment, you need to learn breathing techniques. (Ex: breathe through nose, out through mouth). This will help with breath circulation and calming both you and your attack. Additionally, but also importantly, if you're at the "gasping for breath" point, you should still try to take slow and deep breaths. I know it's hard and you just wanna quickly suck in as much air as possible, but it really doesn't help. For one, it makes calming down harder, and for two, it really doesn't give you that much air. Since you essentially have to hold it for a while, getting as much quality air as possible is practically vital.

—If you have a nebulizer, keep tissues on/around you. The vapors tend to stick to my face & dribble down my nose especially, which is uncomfy, and a lil gross.

These are some of my go-to mantras/affirmations for anxiety, panic attacks, stressful or triggering situations and even daily as a maintenance activity. I hope these provide help or solace to anyone who needs these. Please feel free to use, edit, adapt, or even add to the ones I have listed here.

As scary as this feeling is, I know I can get through this.

I am safe

This is a feeling and that is valid, but I know I am okay

I may feel out of control, but I still control my actions

I am more than my anxiety

The past is over, the present is in my control, the future will be okay.

I will calm down

I can calm myself down

I am capable of solving the problems that come my way.

I am not doing this on my own

This feeling is temporary, I will feel better soon.

My brain is just trying to keep me safe

This stress will pass

This trigger will pass

These feelings will pass

I will be okay

This is not the end of the world.

I have survived, and I will do it again

This will not be how I feel forever

I have felt this before and it does end

I am safe and in control

I can relax my body

I will persevere

I am capable of being calm

I am allowed to make mistakes

One mistake will not define me

One bad day will not define me

I can and I will push through

I can do this

All those who are struggling with stress and anxiety right now: Please now that you are stronger than these feelings, you can get through this and you deserve to feel safe and calm. You are not alone, you are deserving and capable of a calmer, happier life. Keep fighting!

Okay, first of all, I'm not sure if this is hyperbole or if you're serious, but if you are serious, I want you to focus on slowing your breathing. The faster you breathe, the more your brain will be convinced that you're dying and go into panic survival mode.

Deep, slow breaths. In through your nose, hold for three seconds, out through your mouth, wait for four seconds, repeat. Keep doing this until you feel the panic beginning to recede.

Just let me breathe.

What do you mean?

Fucking listen!

Inhale for four. In for four.

There, that's better.

I’m more of a “calm up” sort of elf, love, but I”ll help if I can. First of all, you need to breathe. Your body will breathe for you, but you can always change its pace. Slow and steady, like a bellows at the forge, will keep you more relaxed.

If you’re all set for your defense and you’re just passing the time, it can help to keep busy with little tasks you know well and don’t need to think about. Familiarity is very calming, and the more senses you involve in that process, the more complete your relaxation will be. D’you know how many hair cuffs I made after Runaan’s lotus sank? I put swirlies on cups and plates and mirror frames--anything I could get my hands on. Just needed something to do so I didn’t think too much. 

Breathe and work, slow and steady, and Monday will come soon enough. You can do this,