#calimorry

So it all starts with Loboto's failed plan to escape. Years ago I had this entire comic planned where Raz was going to explore his mind again and help him accept his shameful identity as a psychic. Unfortunately I never got around to the comic— but I still remember the gist. It explores a doctor themed archetype Loboto developed after his childhood trauma to cope with it, and at the end of the level, Raz makes the mental connection of Psychic to Acceptance. It causes Loboto to freak the fuck out and the mental world collapses. He can't handle the realization and becomes completely vulnerable. Luckily, it also puts him on the path to wanting to try to be a little more good.

I imagine (when they're not busy with other things) that perhaps Sasha, Milla, and Raz do most of the therapising, (in the beginning, anyway), since they're the most familiar with him. A good chunk of his therapy is learning to re-control his psychic abilities that were lost to him years ago,,,, and also learning that they weren't as lost as he thought in the first place. While yes, they were considerably weakened, and he still requires practice to use it again, they discover that over time, he learned to redevelop it on his own in two noticable areas: One, he's been using telekinesis to move his makeshift arm, and Two, he's been talking to fish and overall has a lot of connections to water. They use this as focus points and eventually his therapy spreads off in other directions.

He gets a makeover, for one. His clothes are dirty with blood and fluids and dust and overall are just torn and uncomfortable, his goggles aren't exactly the most sanitary considering they've been connected to his eyeballs, and his robotic arm is outdated and rather dangerous. He changes clothes a couple times as he starts to learn what he's comfortable with, but he ends up with a lab coat (for indoors and his medical training) and a swimsuit (for his time spent in nature and the water.) Otto helps build him a new arm, which contains small psitanium deposits in the palm of the hand and the joints, to ease with movement in the arm as well as to help him with his psychic abilities in general by keeping psitanium on his person at all times. He's got mixed feelings towards his new arm— It's all a part of the healing process and him uncovering the reasons why he was uncomfortable with these things in the first place. (Like, for example, he's worried to be rid of a self defense method— but he also feels better about his image now that his own body is considered "safer." Oleander's comment in the drawing about missing the claw because it was "edgy" and "deadly" makes Loboto, well, agree with him in a way, but also makes him reflect on how he was considered something dangerous his entire life.) Also he gets goggles that he can actually safely remove from his head.

Doctor Loboto, having Doctor in the title, has some sort of passion for medicine. But he never really received a license due to being in a washed-up asylum for most of his life. Luckily, they have someone on staff who used to work at a hospital— Hollis Forsythe. Hollis is a busy woman and can't always afford time to train Loboto, but she does provide him with the materials he needs to study with, and gives him tasks to come back to her to. Loboto is a little offended by the concept of having to learn modern medicine the proper way despite also enjoying it— which is yet another thing he needs to unpack. Call back a couple paragraphs to the mental world where Loboto develops the doctor archetype— I've been exploring with the concept that Loboto potentially only ever became a "doctor" in the first place as a means of taking control over the thing in his life that ruined him, and that he doesn't actually have a solid passion for medicine at all— he's simply dependent on it as a coping mechanism. Now it's hard to believe he doesn't have ANY passion or interest for it, but I think a part of his redemption process could very well be him learning to let go a little bit.

So after his studies with Hollis kind of works kind of doesn't, he's urged to focus more on his psychic abilities again, and this is where Compton and Cassie come into play. Compton helps Loboto connect more with nature and communicate with the animals, (Sam Boole also "helps" him with aquatic life specifically), and Cassie helps Loboto manage his doctor archetype as a meaningful but not overly dependent part of his identity.

In the end, Loboto learns to reconnect with his psychic powers and appreciate them as a part of himself, rather than reject them. And he also finds value in being praised for being good after being shamed his entire life.

But what about Oleander? I'll admit Loboto has always been a favorite of mine, so I have more immediate info for him— but Oleander also requires redemption and their story is important together.

Oleander already had the kick-start to his redemption process happen in PN1 with the meat circus. But it really only helped him a little bit. His father being defeated in his brain could've possibly represented moving on from his father, but overall, I think the leftovers from all that trauma have still yet to be overcome. He still needs to learn that it's okay to not fit the perfect masculine mold, and we do see that a little bit in RoR and PN2 with the mermaid tail thing and his boy-band obsession. But who's to say it doesn't still bother him? I especially see Oleander as a very queer man, perhaps someone who was again, shamed out of indulging in it due to his upbringing and his idea of what makes him count as being a real man or not. In the meat circus he is chasing his beloved bunny, with evil versions of the bunny trying to kill him, which I think represents him longing to be soft and indulge in more wholesome things, but the very concept of being wholesome is a source of shame that knocks him down. Perhaps I'll come up with another mental world for Oleander, too, that delves into this reclamation of masculinity and femininity.

He doesn't recieve as much direct therapy at first since he's already shown some improvement and the psychonauts are more busy helping Loboto— which leaves him to kind of fend for himself a little bit. And I could imagine even get a little envious or sad. A lot of his trauma stems from the idea of being alone, he's short and weak emotionally and has been left out of things since childhood. This does lead to some conflict with Loboto himself, as their relationship is,,, rocky.

Yes, I am a diehard Loboto x Oleander shipper. But I don't think the path to victory was easy by any means. Loboto was too out of his mind and too in his own problems to realize that Oleander probably developed a bit of a crush on him while trying to take over the world together— and that high of taking over the world with someone was such an idealized fantasy of the both of them, that now that it's gone, it kind of resets their entire relationship. Oleander is forced to be good and Loboto is genuinely trying to learn how to be good. Oleander is a bit of a menace and still craves some of that destruction I think, so I think he's a little disappointed that he can no longer achieve that fantasy with Loboto. A part of Oleander's own redemption process is very on the nose— learning to accept being good and helpful again. Which is a bit mixed for him, because of course he loves saving and helping people, he idealizes the army and worked as a coach for a summer camp. But once you go so far gone it can be hard to go back. Oleander has a lot of pent up energy that needs to be spent somehow—

which is where I think Helmut and Bob could potentially come in. Being queer I think would give Oleander a bit of a safe space. But there's also what they do. Bob struggled with addiction and aggression and I think Oleander could relate to that, and relate to that idea of deep depression and needing time to heal slowly. Meanwhile Helmut's mental world would be a fantastic source of therapy— having Oleander reconnect with his senses and who knows, maybe even some sort of low-key drug therapy, to help calm him down. It's the most extreme version of the "name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, etc" thing. I think Oleander would benefit greatly from having a safe space to just be and exist in without having to worry about the expectations of others. (Also quick note, if you haven't noticed yet, Oleander also gets a wardrobe change. I imagine him in something 90s-2000s esque blingy or "cool" so his current design has some leather and gems.)

Also, something I totally forgot to mention so Im scrolling back to write this here— But I also imagine Oleander still has a craving for creation that needs to be satisfied. His obsession with war machines can only go so far. So I like to think he maybe picks up a side-job working for Otto, helping him build things. He can't build war machines, but at least it's something. Otto I'm sure would appreciate the help, and probably even enjoy Oleander's crazy ideas. So it'd be a good team.

But anyway, back to Oleander and Loboto.

I can imagine their relationship being complicated for a while. On Oleander's end, Oleander is crushing on Loboto, then the redemption process starts and he thinks it's over, then it continues and he starts crushing again, only it's more vulnerable this time because he's actually forced to confront his feelings. Loboto on the other hand, I think he never entirely crushed on Oleander just because he was so caught up in himself and his insanity, but after the redemption process starts and he starts to get closer to Oleander again, it becomes more plausible. They both struggle with some internalized homophobia I think, as well as complex feelings towards each other in general. Loboto probably has some shame linked to Oleander because of all the bad things he did, meanwhile Oleander kind of misses the chaos, even if he knows it's better now that they're good. So I think it's possible they could get into a fight over their identities and what they mean to each other.

I imagine them maybe realizing that they don't know each other as well as they thought they did. Both of them were at a low point in their life when they initially met, and probably kept low on the details out of shame and distraction. Since both of them are learning to be more vulnerable with themselves and with others, I could imagine there's finally a breaking point where Oleander needs to open up to Loboto. Loboto is still learning how to control his psychic abilities, and if there's one thing he's never done, it's gone into someone ELSE'S mind. Now would be a great time to start.

Meet Oleander's secret mental world where all of his true desires live. I imagine it always existed, but was jump-started after his therapy with Helmut where he learned to let go a bit. The world is bright and colorful, fun and whimsical, and themed after his favorite boy-band. If you've seen Gravity Falls— just imagine Mabel's bubble world. But maybe slightly toned down.

And I want to take a moment to point out this fact that Oleander and Loboto are connected by some themes. Mostly their themes of water and fish. Isn't it ironic how Loboto can communicate with fish, and is even portrayed as a pirate in one of his mental worlds, and then Oleander wears the *mermaid* tail? Loboto is drawn to fish, and Oleander,,, IS the fish. This is far from a coincidence in my mind.

So a pirate-themed Loboto and a mermaid-themed Oleander get to chatting in Oleander's fluffy mental world. About themselves, their vulnerabilities, their pasts. The stuff they've been realizing in therapy. The irony of it all.

I imagine things get maybe a little too personal and some hidden feelings are potentially revealed. Oleander maybe slips up and Loboto is left to put the pieces together— so of course Oleander kicks Loboto out of the mental world and then retreats for the night.

How their actual, proper confession of love goes, I can't say for certain. Maybe Helmut or Bob encourages Oleander, maybe Loboto questions one of the other Psychonauts and they help him figure out what exactly he wants. Now, I'm a sucker for angst, but I can't handle it without a sappy ending. So I think it may go a bit awkwardly, but it would end well, however it goes.

As far as what happens afterwards, I'm more unsure. I think Oleander lost his position at the camp due to his misdemeanors, but would potentially be allowed back on through volunteer work. Loboto would help? Maybe? I think Loboto is unsure of what he wants to do with his life. He's never been able to choose or decide properly before. But I think that's also a good message for the story— just letting him explore things and let him take the time to figure himself out.

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Okay, so, half of this I came up with while writing it. So it's messy. But while I'm still fixated on Psychonauts (which might not be long), expect more art of these two. Idk why they mean so much to me, they just do.

I think to make this AU easier to find in my posts, I will tag it as both "psychonauts redemption au" and "lobotoly/calimorry redemption au".