#caleb:para

A long, exasperated sigh slipped Hanna’s lips as she shifted around anxiously in bed, waiting for Caleb to finally come upstairs and join her. It had been nearly two hours since she left him, deciding that she was going to go up to her room after they attempted to have a movie night. Caleb had been distant the entire day, had barely even said a word to her or looked her in the eye, and it ended with them awkwardly sitting on the opposite sides of the couch. Every time she tried to start a conversation with him, he would reply with a basic answer, and whenever she tried to be affectionate, he wouldn’t reciprocate it back. She attempted to hide the pain by making it seem like it didn’t bother her, but it was honestly killing her inside. He had been acting like this for a few days now, and it seemed to be progressively getting worse. Last night, it got to the point where she couldn’t deal with it anymore, feeling as if she was slowly losing him and he no longer wanted to be with her, and after a few hours of tossing and turning, she eventually got up and left the room. Ashley walked in on her crying on the couch an hour later and asked her what was wrong, which Hanna then proceeded to tell her what was going on. It was in that conversation that she found out the real reason why Caleb had been acting different recently, and the reason why the strange car had been following them around. His mom hired a private investigator to find him and wanted to get in contact with him again. Hanna didn’t blame him for being upset and confused. She couldn’t even imagine what he was going through, or what it was like to be forced to live in multiple foster homes. But from the vacant look in his eyes every time the subject was brought up, it was obvious that she probably didn’t want to know.

As she stood in the kitchen, waiting for the food to finish cooking that she was making for herself and Caleb, she glanced over to the cabinet where she knew her mom had stashed the alcohol. It was tempting, extremely tempting, to just drink away the pain and not feel anything, even if it was just for one night. Having the miscarriage bothered her a lot more than she lead people to believe. And it became easier for her to hide the heartbreak as the days went by. The accident wasn’t something people brought up very often anymore, probably because every time they would, she’d end up changing the subject almost immediately. It was easy for her to put up a front, and make people believe that she was doing alright, but it was a different story when she was alone. It would get to her the most when she was taking a shower, when she glanced down at her stomach and noticed the prominent bump that she once had, was no longer there. That’s when she would break, and feel her legs give out from under her, causing her to slide down the wall until she was sitting down in the tub as the sobs consumed her. She found it to be the perfect time to let out her emotions, and to let go of all the pain she held in throughout the day, because no one would be able to hear her cries through the sound of the running water. It also gave her the chance to make herself decent again before she left the bathroom, and make it seem like nothing happened. She knew that her mom and Caleb saw right through her, though. Hanna could see it in the way they looked at her that they knew it affected her more than she acted like it did. Losing her daughter was the most devastating thing she had ever gone through in her entire life, and she knew that she didn’t have to pretend like it didn’t hurt her every day, but she honestly didn’t want anyone to worry. Her mom was already trying to force her to go see a grief counselor, saying that it would help if she talked to someone about it, but she honestly didn’t think it would. Talking about it wouldn’t change the fact that someone had tried to kill her, and wouldn’t bring her child back. All she wanted to do was forget it ever happened, but she knew it was impossible. A piece of her heart was gone now, and she was convinced that not even time could fix the void she felt in her chest.

Memories replayed in her head. From ones that she thought she had forgotten, to ones that she could remember clear as day. It felt like she was watching a movie about her life, seeing the last seventeen years flash before her eyes. But it only consisted of the good memories, none of the ones in which she had spent so many years trying to suppress. And it was terrifying how vivid they were. It almost felt as if she was actually reliving them, and she was honestly convinced she was dying. For once, she felt at peace. There was no pain or heartbreak, no reason to worry or be afraid. It was tempting, to not wake up, and she would be lying if she said she didn’t consider it, because it would be so easy to just give up and stay like this forever. But then she thought about her mom and her friends, and how devastated they would be if she were to make that choice. Flashbacks began to flood her thoughts, ones that consisted of her mom laughing and smiling, and telling her how much she loved her. Hanna knew how heartbroken she would be, and knew that Ashley wouldn’t be able to function without her. She was all her mom had left, and forcing her to have to live the rest of her life alone would never be an option. Then she had flashbacks from moments that she had shared with her best friends, reminding her of everything they had gone through together, and the friendships that she would be throwing away. It would be selfish, to leave them all behind. And although they had played a huge part in her decision to stay, there was one reason that outweighed all of the others. Him. He was the ultimate reason for her waking up out of her state of unconsciousness, because even though she was asleep, she could still feel his presence at her side at all times, and could still hear his soothing voice as he spoke to her throughout the day. 

Hanna sat on her bed with Caleb by her side, trying to finish the school work she fell behind on from all of the days she had skipped in the last couple of weeks. Being pregnant was a lot more stressful than she thought it would be, from having to deal with the judgment from everyone at school, to wondering if she was actually going to be ready to be a parent in six months. And on top of it all, she witnessed Caleb breaking the promise he had made about not working on phones anymore. It was at school when she had caught him. He told her that he was going to skip lunch, and that he had to study for a test in the library, which she knew was a lie as soon as he said it. In the past few months they had been dating, she couldn’t think of a single time she’d seen him study, or even pick up a school book with any intention other than using it as a paper weight. But she went along with it, smiling and kissing him before pretending like she was going to meet up with the girls in the lunch room, but as soon as she saw him walk down the hall, she turned around to follow him, making sure to keep her distance. He made his way out to the front of the school, and she hid behind a wall as she watched him meet up with some guy, where he then proceeded to hand Caleb a phone. She was angry to say the least, but she played it off the whole day and acted like she knew nothing happened.

The weather was perfect for being in the middle of spring. It was starting to get to the point where you could actually feel the seasons changing from winter to summer, and almost warm enough to where putting on a jacket to go outside wasn’t necessary. Normally Hanna would be excited about it, about being able to finally start wearing her summer dresses and other cute outfits that she had been dying to put on all year, but her stomach was growing larger by the day, and baggy sweatshirts were quickly becoming a part of her regular wardrobe. Although she loved the little one that was growing inside of her, she wished that getting the size of a watermelon wasn’t something that needed to happen. It was in times like this that she was thankful she had a car, so that she could escape from her small town and drive off to a different city. She thought it would be nice to spend the day with Caleb, to be able to walk around somewhere they couldn’t possibly run into anyone they knew, and that’s exactly what they did. After school, they jumped in the car and drove a couple towns over until they found a small, quiet park that had trails surrounding a lake – it was perfect.

Hanna had never been a morning person, especially once she started experiencing pregnancy symptoms. She hadn’t been able to sleep through the night since. And she definitely didn’t want to wake up early this morning, considering it was still Spring Break and there were only a few more days left to sleep in before she had to go back to school. As she stood in the shower, looking down at her stomach, she found it hard to believe that she was already eight weeks pregnant. Besides the morning sickness, she didn’t feel pregnant yet, which she thought she would have by now considering that she was already two months in. The only thing that she could notice changing was that her pants were becoming more difficult to put on, but she couldn’t see a difference. Maybe it was because of the fact that she felt like she was constantly looking, as if her stomach would just magically get bigger, because she had been anxious to actually start showing. A part of her couldn’t wait for their baby to grow, and to feel her son or daughter moving around inside of her, but the other part was terrified, because it meant that people would start noticing and asking questions. For a while, she could just pass it off as gaining weight, but she knew the longer waited, the worse it was going to be when she told everyone – especially her mother. There was no doubt in her mind that Ashley was going to be the first person she would tell, because even though her mom was bound to be disappointed in her, Hanna knew that she would always be there, and the blonde needed the moral support when she told everyone else. She was already convinced that the only people she would have left in the end were going to be Ashley and Caleb, because she had a feeling that Alison wouldn’t want her to be a part of the group anymore once she found out. But she tried not to let it bother her, didn’t want to start worrying about it until the time came. 

Side Note: Her dream is in italics.

Hanna rarely had bad dreams, but the past few nights had been nothing but. The nightmares only seem to get worse with every passing night, leaving her lying awake for hours because she was terrified to fall back asleep into the same dream. Normally being in Caleb's arms was enough to comfort her, making sure never to wake him, because just watching his chest rise and fall as he slept helped her remember that the dreams weren't real, that he was still alive and breathing and nothing was going to happen to him. But tonight was different.

Hanna sat in her bed, trying to finish her homework as she waited for Caleb's text that he was outside so she could sneak him in, but the message never came. It was a quarter till nine, she still hadn't heard from him, and she began to worry. As soon as she reached over to call him, her phone vibrated to inform her that she had a new text. All of her worries disappeared as she saw who it was from - that was until she read it. It was a message from Caleb asking for her to come pick him up with an address attached to it. She quickly plugged it in on her phone and saw that it was about twenty minutes away, and sent him a text saying that she would be there soon. Not trying to worry about it too much, she got in her car and followed the route on her gps until she reached her destination - an old abandoned warehouse. She was hesitant to go inside, unsure as to why he was even out here in the first place, so she sent him a text telling him that she was there, but she never got a response.

After waiting almost ten minutes, she started to get worried, and she decided to finally go inside to look for him. Hanna shut her car off, and slowly got out, making her way over to the door that was already slightly open and called his name. With no answer back, she stepped inside the darkness, the only light that she had to go off of was from the moon shining through the broken windows. As she made her way around, she called his name twice more before she heard something fall from behind her. She quickly turned around to see a dark figure emerge from the shadows with Caleb in their grasp, a gun pointed to his head, and panic shot through her body as her blood turned cold. "Let him go!" She yelled as she made her way closer, but they immediately pointed the gun at her, silently warning her not to take another step. Her eyes hastily made their way to look at Caleb, his arms tied and his mouth covered with tape, but she could still hear him screaming for her to run. Then the figure placed the gun on the side of Caleb's head and her legs were trembling beneath her now, her mind racing a million miles per hour to try to think of a way she could save him. "Don't hurt him! What do you want from me? I'll do anything! Take me instead!" She screamed, her voice breaking as tears streamed down her face. This couldn't be happening, she couldn't lose the only person in the world that she loved. She looked back down to him, and she could see tears soaking his face as well. "Please, just kill me instead!" Her voice was strained through her sobs, pleading for them to listen to her. She watched as the gun faced her once again, meeting Caleb's eyes one last time and whispered "I love you.". He shook his head as he tried to escape their grasp, his screams muffled by the tape covering his mouth as he was about to watch the love of his life die in front of him. She then closed her eyes, waiting for the impact, but it never came.