#calcest

She grips her gun tighter. There are six bullets inside. There are four officers. She'd have to be accurate. And quick.

Part of her wants to resist- she is not her brother. She has never done well with gore. Or killing. She has never enjoyed the act of killing someone- nor has she ever wanted to. Part of her wants to hide her gun and pretend this is fine. Normal. Nothing important.

The other part of her knows that just a few rooms down her brother lies on his bed, gravely injured.

If the officers were to investigate, they would be able to arrest him easily.

If they didn't kill him instead, that is.

She wouldn't do this for anyone else. Wouldn't go against one of the only principles she's held close to her heart in all these years.

But....

It's Caliborn. Caliborn who had been by her side all her life. Shielding her from pain just as often as he is the one causing it. Caliborn who got into fights whenever someone insulted her just to turn around and start throwing words sharp as knives at her the moment she dared try and treat his injuries. Caliborn who held her through her nightmares just as much as he appeared in them.

Caliborn who had taken Father's rifle and shot him full of holes that night she still can't think about without her chest going cold. Cal who held her hand even as he was stained head to toe in blood. Cal who grabbed her cheeks with both fierceness and tenderness before leaning in to kiss her deeply. Passionately. Cal who had looked her in the eye and promised her he would never allow anyone to hurt her. Never again.

She would do anything for him.

(referring to the caliborn/calliope part of this post about caliborn ships)

oh yeah, i absolutely stand by that statement. i would say that all evidence suggests that caliborn is definitely horny for calliope, and calliope is probably attracted to him too

i'm gonna start with a quote from aranea's explanation of cherub sexuality here, because it provides some important context:

In the case of our heroine, she was the good half, and the day of her predomin8tion was in a sense the day her 8rother died. And though it was to her 8enefit and personal growth, 8ecause of this loss she would always live with a sense that something was missing. Every sexually mature cheru8 lives with this feeling. It drives them to seek out another cheru8 similar to the half they lost, the part of their 8eing which they grew up in perpetual conflict with. The desire to travel the universe in hopes of reigniting that conflict is very important to their species. It's the force which compels them to procre8.

cherub romance is based in hatred, and specifically in a desire to experience the same sort of conflict they did with their "other half". to me this strongly implies that it's common - maybe even expected - for a cherub to be attracted to their other half

of course, just because this is true for cherubs in general doesn't necessarily mean it's true for these cherubs. but… i think it is

let's start with caliborn, because he's waaaay more obvious about it. he says that calliope will make a breathtaking corpse. he even fucking slips up and says that he's going to "mate with her". i don't think there's any doubt that he's horny for her

the question of whether calliope feels the same way is more ambiguous, but i think there's good evidence that she does

like, at the beginning of her chess game with caliborn she's playfully antagonistic in a way that seems calculated to piss him off (though in this case it doesn't because he knows he's actually the one winning). it honestly comes across as pretty flirtatious to me

and then there's… ok, well, first of all, bear in mind that the knights in their chess set fucking look like this:

that's just. that's a cherub in mating form. this chess set is downright pornographic. who gave this to a child. (gamzee did. thanks gamzee.)

anyway. while calliope still thinks she's winning, she interjects this little aside:

UU: knight to d6. UU: look oUt! i'm coming for her. UU: i think she's langUished behind the front lines long enoUgh, woUldn't yoU say? UU: time to shake things Up. move her, or take my knight. UU: yoU know yoU want to take her. jUst look at her there. what a cheeky intrUsion. slithered right into yoUr palace and made herself comfy. maybe she'll lay an egg once she's finished her feast. ^U^

and, like, hoooooooooooly shit, calliope, that is FILTHY. you have moved your highly erotic chess piece into caliborn's territory, taunted him to "take her", and just to complete the sexual analogy, decided to bring fucking eggs into the conversation too. god damn

and, ok, caliborn doesn't really react to this, so maybe at the time this pesterlog was written this wasn't intended to be quite that filthy. but still

the chess match later ends like this:

uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering undyingUmbrage [uu] UU: FUCK THIS!!!!!!!!!!! UU: i don't know why i bothered hUmoUring yoUr vile Underhanded rUbbish! UU: I HATE YOU. JUST SOD RIGHT OFF TO HELL, PLEASE. uranianUmbra [UU] ceased cheering undyingUmbrage [uu]

undyingUmbrage [uu] began jeering uranianUmbra [UU] uu: HEY THERE. BE CAREFuL. uu: A GuY COuLD GET THE WRONG IDEA. AND MISTAKE YOuR OuTBuRST FOR SOMETHING. uu: CALIGINOuS. uu: THAT WOuLD BE MOST uN"SISTERLY." DON'T YOu THINK. uu: ANYWAY. BY THE LOOKS OF THIS MESSY BOARD. uu: I'M GOING TO ASSuME YOu FORFEITED THE MATCH. undyingUmbrage [uu] ceased jeering uranianUmbra [UU]

uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering undyingUmbrage [uu] UU: yoU are disgUsting. UU: i really loathe yoU, and no, NOT IN "THAT WAY!" UU: i am not going to talk to yoU for a while. probably a LONG while. UU: i only hope i can overcome my contempt for yoU when it comes time to play oUr game. bUt i am not holding my breath!!!!!!!!!!!

yeah, calliope claims here that she doesn't hate him "that way", but honestly, considering everything else she said and did throughout the match, it comes across as denial more than anything. and think about it - even if calliope were attracted to caliborn, would she ever admit it to him and give him the satisfaction of knowing it for sure? hell no.

(also once again caliborn is DEFINITELY flirting here by taunting her for her "unsisterly" feelings. horny horny boy)

so, there's all of that. there's also some indirect evidence in the conversation where calliope tells roxy that she's a cherub. during this chat, calliope says that she doesn't experience red romance, but that she can have caliginous romantic feelings. the way she says it doesn't sound hypothetical, either. she's not just talking about what's typical for cherubs - she seems to be confessing that this is how she, personally, experiences romance. and she acts ashamed enough of it that i think that if she'd never felt caliginous feelings for anyone, she'd want to say so; she'd want to be able to distance herself from it.

but… if she's had caliginous feelings before, who were they for? who does she feel enough contempt for to be attracted to? her friend group is pretty small, and she likes all of them. the only person she hates is, well… caliborn.

i think that this is something that she would never, ever be willing to confess to anyone, not even roxy. she's already ashamed enough of her species. how could she possibly confess to an attraction that she doesn't think humans could ever understand, that breaks human taboos, that means that she's attracted to someone everyone rightfully thinks is scum? no, this is a secret she'll take to her grave and beyond.

He hears her footsteps, quick and loud, before he hears her voice.

She slams the door open. "What in the world possessed you to do that to Roxy?! She's my friend!"

He smirks "Exactly. Can't have my sis think she's allowed to have anyone else other than me, now can I?"

She stands there, sputtering for a second "W-What?! So you just- you vandalize her locker and fill it with horrible, horrible words- just to make me upset? Are you kidding?"

"Why would I be? Looks like it's working pretty well right now."

"I- brother, you're out of control!"

"always have been, dear sister." He stands up from his chair, walking towards her and invading her personal space, relishing in those inches of height he has to tower over her. "What are you going to do about it?"

She scowls at his words "Brother, this night have been harmless when we were ten-" He can see her wincing at the memories. Ah, fun times. "But you're sixteen now! You can't just go around causing trouble like that anymore."

"And what. are you going to do about it?"

"I- I....."

"Nothing. You're going to do nothing." He grabs one of her shoulders and she flinches at the thought, which only serves to make him smile. "You're going to stand there. And take it like the good little bitch you are. Because you are powerless. Always have been. really."

She looks down, and he can see a single tear leak out of her eye. He leans down and licks it, while she flinches at the contact. "B-brother!"

He places his other hand near her neck, which shuts her up. "Good girl."

She closes her eyes tightly and shakes. "I just.... I don't get it. Why? Why bully me like this? What have I ever done to you? First hurting me, now hurting my friends...- I Just.... Why don't you just leave me alone?"

He smirks. She just doesn't get it, does she?

"because you are mine, pet. You always have been mine. Since the moment you were born. And I will get that through your head, eventually."

He takes her hand. She doesn't resist. He brings it up to his mouth and bites. Sweet, coppery taste fills his mouth as he smiles and licks at every drop. Once he's done, he smiles.