Cable Attraction
I just got my bill and it looks like my monthly cost for home internet went up again. I told you if you kept ignoring me I was capable of doing something drastic and I meant every word. Now that you’ve left me no choice, I’m going to cancel my account.
Did you really think you could treat someone this way? We had a connection - a serious, 1 gigabyte broadband connection - and you acted like it was nothing. I am so much more than account number GX-1005-63314. You really thought you could just take your monthly withdrawal from then move on to your next victim, all before going home to your whore wife? Don’t forget - you came into my house and drilled a hole in my living room wall - that means something!
Maybe I’m switching to another home internet provider, maybe I’m not. I don’t even care if I hurt myself by trying to stream off of my mobile hotspot the rest of my life. Why should I care about what happens to me when you clearly don’t! If you did care, you wouldn’t have acted so calm and cool when I told you my cell phone company is offering home internet for half of what I pay for ours, or that I’ve been getting a lot of interesting snail mail about other internet providers in my area. I have options, too, don’t you see? How could you say you loved me when you don’t even care about losing me!
I should have seen this coming. Ever since the glow of our initial promotional period expired when we signed up together you’ve been ramping up the monthly price. I guess it’s my fault for not saying something sooner. I must have taught you it was fine to treat me so poorly. We get what we deserve in this life.
But that goes for you, too, Dan. You’re not going to get away with this: and I’m going to do so much more than just leave a strongly written negative review online. Why don’t you go into your kitchen and see what I’ve cooked you for dinner? That’s right, it’s my home modem. I told you, I would not be ignored Dan!
So now you want to look for promotions in my area? Ha! It’s a little late for that, don’t you think, Dan? But I suppose I would be open to saving $15 a month. That’s a good start. Oh Dan, I knew you loved me. I knew you didn’t mean all of those hurtful things you said earlier. It’s so good to be back together, Dan.
