Dear Twelve,

I’m never going to let anyone see this letter, so I think I can call myself what I want, right? He only said I had to tell them my name was Deanne. I used to like being called that, but I don’t anymore. Maybe I will get used to the name in the future. I hope I do, because it makes me feel all wrong right now.

Sigma (I found out her name is Lumen, but she told me to call her Sigma so that’s what I call her) said that you can choose your own name. I thought about it, but it still doesn’t make sense. I don’t know what I would call myself, even if it did make sense. Jacen said I was terrible at picking names, because of what I named my pets (Kitten, Janitor, Balance Beam, Little, Feline, Refrigerator, Loud, and Purr) but Victus said they were amusing. I liked Victus.

I can’t imagine there being a future self, so I don’t know what to write. Maybe something about being alive? If I’m alive to read this in the future, that means something? It could mean that I was good and Jacen didn’t have to kill me. It could mean Daze didn’t find me, and maybe I’m still at the school? Or it could mean he found out where I was and I was able to run and somehow had this letter with me.

Good job? No matter what, the rules have been broken. You’re not good anymore, and it’s possible that you never were. If you’re reading this, then you survived a while longer, but I don’t know for what purpose, or if that’s a good thing or bad.