#c.docx

[cincinnati bengals (nfl), Joe Burrow/Ja'Marr Chase, Getting Together, even sillier crack than usual still taken extremely seriously. 12.7k.]

There’s a tiger on Joe’s porch. It’s four feet tall, and at least ten long. Sleek orange fur streaked with black stripes, long thin whiskers, piercing yellow eyes. It sits with its hind legs tucked under it like a housecat, chest bared to proudly display its—its jersey, its Cincinnati Bengals jersey, black fabric draped loosely over its massive torso, snow-white one luminous in the porch light. Embarrassingly, Ja’Marr’s first thought is: It’s wearing my number. His second and third thoughts (tigers are really fucking big and how did it ring the doorbell?) aren’t much better. He squeezes his eyes shut, pinches his arm, hard, but when he looks, the tiger is still there. Still—tigering. or: Joe and Ja’Marr go on a quest for the soul of Cincinnati.

it's been about a full calendar year since i first started nflposting (Woah) &in that time i have made the acquaintance and friendship of truly so many incredible, talented, funny people. i love being a part of this community!! this one is for y'all <3!

BETTER DAYS | CHARACTER INTRODUCTION. lily nguyen

Lily threw him a scathing glare, at 45% power. It was still too much. He wilted into his chair like a hydrangea in the sun.

NUTS AND BOLTS: 18 | she/her | vietnamese american | telekinesis

SUMMARY: sharp and spiky. lily is fearless, and seems to thrive on irritating any unlucky authority figure who crosses her path. she is fiercely loyal, unapologetic, and impulsive. she also harbors a significant amount of self loathing, but that’s nobody’s business but her own (unless you are her tentative friend and also a telepath. but we’ll get to that later.) she plays the bass guitar, and loves music—alternative and indie specifically, but she does have a fondness for mid-2000s taylor swift, a secret she will take to the grave. full of anger at the world and at her empty home, lily is ready to use her powers of telekinesis to pull off some really choice pranks. (no food fights, though. the janitors are underpaid as it is.)

PLAYLIST: choke by idkhbtfm | can’t stand the rain by the rescues | idle worship by paramore | outlines by all time low | one of THOSE nights by the cab

me and my friend wrote this (actually i wrote, like, a paragraph, and he wrote the rest - the better bit)

it's a thing we laugh about a lot... and it's still being updated...

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24663223/chapters/59595301

[detroit lions (nfl), gen, fuck the chiefs and fuck juju smith schuster in specific. 1.4k.]

One of the camera guys in the locker room for the post-game interview is breathing loud as fuck. Heavy, nasally sighs on every single exhale, like he’s the one who’s been running his ass off for three hours. Brian tries to ignore it, tries to focus on the question—“What happened at the end of the game there?”—but the next sigh comes out long and low, almost a moan from an amateur porno, and the sound lodges itself right at the base of his skull like a spur. or: the aftermath of Week 6 vs. the Chiefs.

the lion does not concern herself with how cathartic it felt to write the narration of someone with a deep well of white hot righteous anger within them and also a lot of shame about that anger . um. ANYWAYS this one goes out to @pbpb-ot who drew some REALLY GOOD ART of the best safety tandem in the league argue with your momma if you think i'm lying

[detroit lions (nfl), gen, gettin' silly in the offseason. 1.6k.]

“I’m tellin’ you!” Jamo’s standing on the cushion of his locker’s new theater seat, bouncing on socked toes, waving a half-laced cleat around like he’s directing traffic. “You get a bunch of big guys, maybe even some linebackers—” “Oh, hell no,” Anzalone interrupts from over by the open-air fridge. He twists the cap off of a bottle of cool blue Gatorade, then flicks it in Jamo’s direction. “Not my circus, not my monkey.” or: the Detroit Lions have a philosophical debate.

i tried five times to write a fun little blurb about this but it is two in the morning so um. banter! amon-ra st brown team princess! jared goff feelings sneaking their way in there without my consent! please enjoy!

[detroit lions (nfl), gen, crack taken EXTREMELY seriously. 10.4k.]

“What,” Terrion says, hesitant, “like Bobby Layne?” Immediately, the entire room erupts, in boos, hisses, and knocks on every nearby surface. Within seconds, Terrion is spluttering, buried under a mess of thrown pillows and winter wear. Amon-Ra thinks the superstition is kinda stupid, but he tosses his beanie anyway, since a little light bullying is always good for the rookies’ development. “Do not bring up Bobby Layne,” Decker instructs, graver than death. “Okay, okay!” Terrion says, swatting away Kerby’s incoming head-smack. “You get why I went there, though, right? Like, that reaction was why I went there.” or: the Detroit Lions break a curse. It's a long time coming.

yeah i dunno how this happened either. or how on earth it hit 10k. started it after monty went down vs the bills, had to rework a bunch of shit after losing to the commies, but fuck it we ball??? i'm pretty proud of the chicanery i've crafted here. and if we win the super bowl next season ill know ive done my duty as a member of the hashtag ONE PRIDEEEEE

[dimension 20: fantasy high, Jace/Porter, missing scenes, coworkers with benefits to ???. ch 5/5, 21.8k.]

Porter taps his fingers on the grip of his maul. The beat is slightly out of pace with his steps. “Actually, I do wish we had more orange juice. That shit’s been working well to mask the taste.” “Well, you should have thought of that earlier.” Jace stretches up a hand to idly mess with the rough hunk of stone at the top of the maul. After a long minute, Porter lightly bats his fingers away. “Last time doing this, too, so it’s your funeral.” “Doing what?” Porter says. Jace laughs. The sound peters out, cut off immediately by Porter’s expression of genuine confusion. “The ritual? This is our last time doing the ritual.” “Right,” Porter says. Then again, just a notch quieter: “Right.” *** Five rituals, over the course of ten months.

happy finale day everybody!!! thus concludes our adventure as well, hope you had a good time and also sorry :) this fic has been such a joy to write, mostly because of how lovely @jadeandquartzes has been as a writing partner. thank you endlessly for all of the emotional devestation you’ve wrought upon me—its been a blast 💛

read chapter five of don't give it a hand, offer it a soul here!