#c:atticus

@prncttcs

Spencer stood out of a small office space building that was for lease. She looked through the window closing her eyes, debating if she was ready to take this step or was it best to work from her home. She only had a few clients, but she wanted to expand into something bigger. She turned to lean against the brick building. Her eyes slowly opened and she let them scan over the small crowd of people who were walking down the other side of the street walk way. The brunette had no idea what she was looking for, but her eyes fell on someone very familiar. Her body instantly stood up straight and she closed her eyes only to open to find the same set of eyes. “Atticus?” She mumbled under her breath. There was no way he could be here. It had been nearly six months since they had last talked. 

Without realizing it she was crossing the street, thankful that no cars were coming at her, stepping up on the other side. Everything seemed to go in slow motion. She could walk around each person that seemed to be going the tenth of the speed she was. She stopped a few yards in front of him, still not sure if he was a mirage. “Atticus?” She repeated his name a little louder that if he was standing there, he could hear her. “Wh-what are you doing here?” 

“What, and you think I am?” Seneca burst out incredulously, huffing out a laugh before tucking his hair behind his ear. “Atticus… I’ve never done anything like this, remember? I’ve never - I’ve never had a serious relationship with a guy because of my mother, so we’re on the same level with commitment.”

Okay, so maybe that wasn’t entirely what Atticus had meant with that topic. While Seneca might have been too terrified to get too serious with a guy while under his mother’s roof, Seneca had the distinct impression that Atticus had never committed because he didn’t want to while Seneca did. Very much so. But if Atticus was willing to bring up commitment, if he said he wasn’t good with it instead of simply he didn’t do it, then maybe that meant there was a chance and Seneca was very good at clinging to threads.

“And soulmates? Come on, those don’t exactly come a baker’s dozen, how are we supposed to have any prior experience with those?” Soulmate was such a heavy word on his tongue suddenly when before it had always seemed so abstract, a beautiful concept that almost belonged to another time or place, something that didn’t exist for him and was granted only to a privileged few. Not everyone found their soulmate and even if they did, it wasn’t a guarantee of a happy ending, but something about sitting there listening as Atticus confessed to worries about being together instead of giving reasons why they couldn’t give things a try caused a faint stirring of hope in his heart.

Looking at Atticus was like a flower beholding the sun after a flood and Seneca gave a smile that was real as he rubbed at his wrist. “Just so you know, though? I’m never letting you live down the fact you dragged the ‘l’ word into this conversation first.”

Atticus nodded softly as he poured them both a drink, he held a glass out for Seneca to take before speaking “I do honestly, because I look at you and see someone deserving of romance, commitment, and I can tell you have good intentions, but what if the person you are paired with is a cynic who is undeserving of those things hmm? Because my dear Seneca Parrish, I think you deserve way more than I could ever offer.” He leaned back against the counter sipping his drink his eyes never leaving the smaller male standing in front of him “But I know you’re still an optimist when it comes to love even if we are on the same level, I can see it in your eyes, and granted I won’t deny being around you has seemed to have an effect on me, because I’m somewhat less cynical when you are near, but when you look at me, can you honestly say you see a future with me?” 

Atticus wasn’t in any way, shape or form saying he didn’t want a future with Seneca, because that was far from the truth, but he wasn’t sure he deserved to have someone like Seneca in his life. Because Seneca deserved better than he was convinced he could ever give, but still the thought of Seneca with anyone else struck a chord with him. He felt a pang of jealousy at the mere thought of anyone else holding him, or calling him theirs, maybe feeling a little possessive of him, as much as Atticus wanted to believe he was deserving of Seneca’s love, he was still convinced he was not worthy.

“And I guess you’ve got me there, because they aren’t supposed to be something easily found, and some people die before even finding theirs, I feel very lucky to have found you I just....it’s a scary word with so much meaning poured into it, it’s intense. My whole life I’ve been a fly on your wall, I feel as though I know you, your day to day life invaded my dreams, and I have never felt at ease with anyone in the same manner that I do with you, so please don’t for one moment think I am ungrateful. I’m not trying to sound against being your soulmate, don’t see it as that  that’s not my intention.” 

Atticus took a long sip of his drink trying to shut himself up, he was rambling and probably needed to pause to actually give Seneca a chance to respond, probably was making a fool of himself. Atticus never got like this, but right now his stomach felt as if it were tied up in one thousand knots, he could feel his nerves bubbling upwards, Atticus Flinch was never this nervous, but for some reason having this discussion was making him a bundle of nerves, and he knew Seneca was the cause of this.

Isodora didn’t look up from the book she had been reading even as she heard his footsteps stop beside her, “I wasn’t expecting you this soon.” 

Nate smiled widely as he was walking back from the bar with Atticus. He looked over at the other man, feeling the alcohol running through his veins and the songs from the night echoing in his head. He was surprised he managed to get the other up on stage at karaoke to sing with him. It was a nice change of pace for him, usually Caelian was his go to karaoke buddy but he was going to start bringing Atticus out with him more often. “Did you have a good time?” he asked, looking over at the other man. “I still can’t believe how many shots we managed to get down.” he laughed, trying to contain the laughter a little bit. 

“So moved here to be with a girl?” he laughed, looking at Atticus a bit confused, he hadn’t seen the other since LA a few years ago and last he knew he loved it there. He had actually missed the other man and was glad he was living here now. “Don’t like the part about you being settled down, but I’m glad you’re here.” his eyes scanned over his features, it was odd sitting beside him again. It felt nice, but he wouldn’t let the other know that. They were fairly close, however, he didn’t let too many people in. He waved the bartender over, ordering them a few rounds of shots, “How’s the music been?” he asked, looking back over into his eyes. 

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Nate was in desperate need of a distraction. Today was his ex’s daughter’s birthday and he wasn’t in a good mood. He had been pretty upset the majority of the day. He tried calling early in the morning and hadn’t heard back from Violet until the afternoon. He got to talk to Rosalina for a few minutes to wish her a happy birthday. Hearing that she missed him absolutely broke his heart. It was getting late and he decided to text Atticus to see if he wanted to come over and have a few drinks with him. When he agreed he waited for the other to head down to his apartment. He decided to run through his new song before he heard a knock on his door. He got up and walked over, opening the door open and taking a step back, “Thanks for coming. It’s good to see you.” he said with a smile spread across his face.