I really wish butchhood wasn't conflated with being a protector so much, honestly.
I'm a very vulnerable butch. I'm chronically ill, invisibly physically disabled, and have a lot of mental health issues. My masculinity doesn't inherently make me more strong or powerful.
But there's a huge amount of butch culture built on butches being protective of femmes, or just being strong and working in very physically laborious jobs. It feels disheartening to be locked out of a major part of my culture, just because I'm disabled.
So here's to all the disabled butches who want, or are expected to, be strong because toxic masculinity has taught us the mascs are the protectors, but we can't be.
We're the ones who need people to slow down for us. We're the ones who need to sit down and catch our breath after walking a bit. We're the ones who need help. And that doesn't make us any less butch.
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inspired by 'FEMME SHARK MANIFESTO' by Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha
(ID under cut)
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[ID: an original poem titled 'BUTCH MANIFESTO'. the stanzas are all on the left side of the page and lineated, except for the first line, and last stanza. Poem begins:
Listen up!
Butches hold it down!
We don’t spend hundreds of pounds
on designer clothes
and black and white tuxes –
we shop off the charity shop rack,
hand-me-downs from our bois, our men, our women.
Butch is not a glamour word -
Butch is not for the white collars in their 9-5 and their office parties,
Butch is not for the woman in a police uniform with short cropped hair,
Butch is not for the masc who looks down on our femmes,
Butch is not for the dumbass white people who call themselves stud,
like our people haven’t taken enough from black lesbians,
Butch is not for the politician or the soldier,
it’s for those of us who get shit done
and don’t throw anyone under the bus;
who stand between our loved ones and the white-knuckled fist;
it’s for the people who take a breath of relief when they get home
and get to lay their head on the shoulder of their baby and say,
it’s hard, and I need you right now;
it’s for those of us with hard-soled feet, worn by hours of standing,
just so people can buy some useless shit on a Sunday.
Butch is for the primary school teachers, the neighbour keeping your package safe,
the hairstylist, the barber, the youth worker, the locked up, the
sectioned, the evicted, the boy on the dole.
Butches hold each other up,
Butches stand up for communities,
no matter how different we might be.
Butches stand up for Butches,
because only we know the shit we face,
we don’t argue over what butch looks like for someone -
their struggle doesn’t counteract ours.
We’re brothers, sisters, siblings, lovers, mentors,
we don’t fight over femmes
or fight each other.
We help up our siblings who can’t hold themselves up
and shouldn’t have to.
Butch is recognising our hurt, our pain,
and making sure nobody has to go through that,
in the very least
not alone.
Butch is not reproducing that hurt,
butch isn’t the transfem exclusion, the toxicity,
it’s driving our girls and boys to the abortion clinic,
it’s holding your femme’s hair back over the toilet bowl,
it’s telling your darlin’ to take a deep breath, before you
poke the needle into her thigh,
it’s holding back on punching the catcaller because
you know it’ll put your lover in more danger,
it’s fishing in your closet for an old, dusty dress for your questioning girl,
it’s never calling the cops,
it’s carrying the Narcan,
it’s gathering the funds for bail,
it’s tipping the waiter,
it’s kissing the bruised chin of a fellow butch
who’s built like a brick shithouse.
Butch is not all muscle, able-bodied, white
Butch is not all skinny and androgynous
Butch is care
Butch is NURTURE.
Butch is a cane and an unsteady step
Butch is putting down the ramp
Butch is wheeling up it
Butch is addict
Butch is straight-edge
Butch is diaspora
Butch is desi
Butch is antiracist
Butch is socialist
Butch is punk
Butch is black
Butch is brown
Butch is fat
Butch is fat-loving
Butch is mental illness
Butch is antipsych
Butch is autism
Butch is trans
Butch is anger
Butch is tears
Butch is grief
Butch is the old bull
Butch is the closeted kid in a dress
Butch is the baby dyke wearing a rainbow flag cape
Butch is smile lines
Butch is crinkled eyes
Butch is crying in your friend’s beat-up car
Butch is foetal position
Butch is pink
Butch is motherhood
Butch is fatherhood
Butch is cat-dad
Butch is fucking
Butch is getting fucked
Butch is stone
Butch is bashful
Butch is humble
Butch is cocky
Butch is proud
Butch is single
Butch is uneducated
Butch is poet
Butch is poetry
Butch is council estate
Butch is gentleness
Butch is bones and spit and
the soft curve of our lower backs
the clenched jaw under a double chin
the hard-eyes that any femme can see right through
the estradiol
the testosterone
the carabiner clink
the thick hands
the cellulite
the bloody pads
the tampon string
the mood swings
the sagging tits
the top surgery scars
the swinging cock
the hairy pussy
the protruding t-dick
the leather harness.
Butch is eternity
Butch is sewn into the fabric of atoms
Butch is love and solidarity
Butch is never leaving anyone behind and
never selling anyone out.
End poem. In the bottom right corner, the poet is signed as 'Ren H.' End ID].
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If you're ever feeling like the jingle of the keys on your carabiner is too loud, like you need to tuck it away in your pocket, tell me - would you rid a cat of its meow? A dog of its bark? No? Well, there you go! Let the call of the dyke jingle for all to hear!