#butch problems

Everyone hates someone who is mean. But oftentimes people equate someone who is not palatable as mean. There's a stereotype about mean butches and I think to be frank we should be more "mean" because demanding your boundaries to be respected is not mean. Asking not to be spoken over is not mean. Asking to be seen as a human and not an object is not mean. Getting frustrated and upset at being disrespected and spoken over is not mean.

So I ask you: What if I burned bridges and never looked back? What if I grew a backbone for myself instead of other people? What if I didn't fall back on my boundaries? Would you call me mean? Would I still be palatable to you? Or am I only worth keeping around because you think I'm nice? This is what it means to be butch, being palatable, because people can't stand when we stand up for ourselves. People deem us as mean for asking for the bare minimum.

We already are barely acceptable "woman lite" And I know it's not fucking fair but it's how everyone treats us. And God forbid we don't identify as women so we have a 'strange and scary' gender. Because being anything other than a cis woman means you're "scary and evil" because masculinity is deemed inherently evil. We are only palatable because most of this community is TERFS and we all keep falling victim to playing respectability politics with people who view us as lesser people. Some of you hide your thinly veiled transphobia behind intellectualism and it's concerning and yet you still fetishize us. Your mental gymnastics is insane and I don't want any part of it.

Being butch means facing pushback on all fronts so you better hope you have thick skin or people will eat you alive. Because we are expected to take everything even when we shouldn't. It's all a fucking lie how thick your skin is doesn't fucking matter. Being butch means being you but most of no one will ever see you for you. So the next time someone tells you that you aren't a butch or you aren't butch enough or gets mad at you for enforcing your boundaries tell them to fuckin shove it.

Sometimes being a butch means you have to stand up for yourself because most people won't stand up for you but they will beg for you to stand up for them. And the few people who stand up for you? Only ask for a little but don't ask for too much because then you are being privileged, better yet don't even ask at all because that's asking too much. And don't expect to get your voice in because when you do you will get spoken over, people only like us when we are quiet but don't forget that you must speak up for every transgression against them.

In every sapphic space I go in there's maybe two masculine people and the rest are all feminine presenting because masculine people get harassed out of sapphic spaces. So when you try to talk you get mugged out back by a group because your voice doesn't matter because you aren't feminine enough. Hopefully someone will have solidarity with you if not you'll be licking your wounds by yourself. And Don't forget you are only allowed here because you are an accessory. Like a small dog that fits in a hand bag. Sometimes those dogs are allowed more of voice than us.

Everyone wants you. People will touch you without asking and when you say no you are now a fucking bitch. We are expected to take it because in everyone's eyes butches are inherently sex creatures only intended to please and fulfill others sexual gratification. And saying you aren't interested in femmes means you can't really be a butch because butches must always be sexually attracted to femmes right? Your body and mind isn't your own you are here simply to please the majority group.

Mind you being butch is being everything yet still somehow being less because let's be real, being butch means having impossible double standards being placed on your shoulders at all times. Not just by a homophobic and transphobic society but by your own community too. But don't break under the pressure because if you do then you aren't butch. Because butches must always be kind to everyone even when they treat you like a doormat.

See? it's all a fucking scam and this community is bleak as hell. So many of us get pushed out of our community. To the majority you aren't worth the time or space if you can't be used for sexual gratification and your voice doesn't matter because you are "speaking over women like a cis man". Back the fuck up and let us speak on our issues. Because God forbid we talk about the transgressions against us.

I loved girlhood because I love pink and unicorns and horses and the fashion for girls in the late 90s/ early 2000s. I loved Barbies and dolls and colorful jewelry. And I know, I would have experienced none of that if I would have been born a boy.

But at the same time I hate womanhood. I hate how my body has changed after puberty. I hate having breasts more than anything, I hate having wide hips and a bigger butt, I hate everything that is going on down there, I hate periods, I hate that I'm not as tall as men, I hate how as a woman no one believes you and you are constantly in danger, I hate how no matter how much effort I put in, my body can't build muscles like a man can, I hate the effects of estrogen.

i was just trying on fits for lucy dacus. am i lowkey cooking, or is this too crowded? (im thinking of writing “forever is a feeling” in bold or something down ONE pant leg?? thoughts??)

shirtless (I HAVE BINDING TAPE ON), flexing pic below cut for the freaks 😵‍💫