#butch problems

I built myself wide.Broad shoulders, strong arms, steady stance.

I made myself a wall, a shield, a place people could lean on.

It worked.

I became safe for everyone else.

Except me.

Sometimes I forget I’m allowed to be held. Sometimes I forget that strength doesn’t mean I have to carry the weight alone.

Sometimes I forget that being solid doesn’t mean being untouchable.

I wanted to be unshakable.

I wanted to be steady.

I wanted to be enough.

In building all of that for everyone else,I left little room for softness, for tenderness, for myself.

Some nights,when the world is quiet and my shoulders ache,I just wish someone would trace a hand along my back and let me be fragile for a moment.

I built myself strong.