#busyness

On busyness and respectful response times;

I’m someone who will respond to your text by the end of the day, or end of the week at the latest. I don’t expect immediate or even daily responses, but I understand the fragility of life and how people take everyone around them for granted. Then come those ridiculous mourning posts when they never even took the time to be present with their person.

I try to give people grace, and I think responding by at least the end of the week shows you care. I’m over people being so wrapped up in their own self-centeredness that they fail to see their inadequacies or lack of willingness to participate in their relationships. A lot of you just want participation trophies. There’s an irony in the ones that feel they’re spread too thin always requiring the most from others.

Weeks to months is ridiculous. Unless you’re a brain surgeon or first responder, there’s no excuse. I’m not entitled to anyone’s time, but when you care about someone you make the space. *Busyness* is a construct. It does not exist. You have time management issues and are emotionally unavailable is what that tells me. Unless you’re a single parent or on a world tour, no regular person is ever that busy superstar.

Don’t even throw mental health card in my face. You can’t touch me, I’m pretty well rounded now, balanced, and make time for all the things that matter to me.

Too many of you are way too comfortable using your mental health as a shield or to excuse your bad and avoidant behavior. A lot of you also make the assumption that others don’t have their own set of problems or mental health issues; personal responsibility and depression aren’t mutually exclusive.

An explanation is never an excuse.

If you’re depressed, shoot a short text. On a long vacation? Let people know. Just not in the mood? Respond later or reassess if you really want that person in your life. It’s never as big as people blow it up to be in their heads. Communicate. Comprehend. Consider. Unless it's truly abusive, don't ghost another human being like a coward. Someone saying something you do not personally like is not abuse. It’s cool to care about the people in your life!

Your busyness is not a flex! (People have been *busy* since high school) You lack personal skills and emotional fluency. It’s also okay to let people know you don’t have time or you don’t want them in your life, it doesn’t matter how awkward it is. You can’t avoid people and yourselves forever…. I mean, you technically can but what a shallow, lonely life that is

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I've gone back to relationships thinking a lot of these things could change, but honestly, they hardly ever do. The people who would change for you, would change for themselves and be consistent with their actions ♥︎

for me that is my choir. regardless of how stressed i am or how bad my mood is, i will always be happy and content after a choir rehearsal. only on days when i am completely exhausted, when i feel like i am going to fall asleep or start crying the moment i slow down, only on those days is choir not enough to make everything feel right in my life again.

my choir is a space where i feel welcome, appreciated and like it is where i am meant to be any time i am there. we sing beautifully and joyfully, even when we are focused and dedicated to making our performance the best that we can. i think it is this combination of skilful musicianship and community that makes my choir so special to me.

if you have any one thing that never fails to put a smile on your face or to make everything feel right in the world, cherish it! prioritise it even when life gets busy, because that one thing will make all the busyness so much easier to bear.