#burninglakes

1. Have you looked at the back of the polaroid pictures they took of us? I scribbled some sweet remarks in there. I'm guessing you don't even check them anymore. What on earth was I thinking? [delete] 2. Look, I miss you. I hope it is as simple as that. [delete] 3. It hurts me that you passed up on the possibility of me having to come home to you after a terrible day at work, or the chance to have your arms around me and to wake up with you next to me. It's a shame you took that away from us. It's a shame you never even tried. [delete] 4. The books I read lately makes me feel like I should cut you off. We've only had this toxic, never ending cycle of you and me and our stupidity and having rebound relationships but we can't even talk about what we feel to each other. [delete] 5. Just...can you just let me know if you're at least happy? [delete] 6. Can I call you? I just wanted to hear your voice. [delete] 7. I never planned on loving you this much. [delete] 8. I'm not drunk. I only had a couple glasses of wine. No, scratch that. I had a whole bottle. Where are you? Call me. [delete] 9. Did her kisses felt divine like mine? [delete]

This month was beyond expectations and one thing it surely did—it made me learn a lot of things. 1. Not everyone deserves a second chance. And when you see red flags, remember that for some reason, rose is red. 2. Learning to understand is different from being weak. It is a strength, not a weakness. Don't let anybody tell you otherwise. 3. Wherever you are, you are there for a reason. And that reason is not to impress and please people. 4. People say that time heals all wounds; it does. But apparently, not all wounds. 5. Adulting will make you feel like you are not good enough, you are not strong enough, and that you can never manage things any longer. But that is not the reason to give up. You might get tired but it's okay. Rest then fight again. Remember what is your core, your center, your grit, and stick with it. You are surviving because of it. 6. Life responds to the quality of the real character within you. When you rise, everything else will, too. Be patient. There are no things such as delays. 7. Always aim for excellence, it whatever means it may serve. 8. Sometimes, saying nothing is the best message you can deliver.

4/16/18

I wanted him to need me so badly, but the truth is, he just didn’t. As much as it ached through me, it was so wrong to force my help onto him, like he was a wounded animal, instead of just a person. He had to help himself. We all do. This wasn’t about me at all.

you fed me, when I had no appetite for life.

1. I don't think we'd ever be friends. No, not unless I stop thinking that we would somehow end up together. [delete] 2. How was your game last weekend? Did you guys win? [delete]