#buckyxreader fluff

You were sobbing so hard against your knees that you didn’t even notice that Kobik had entered the room. At first, you were startled. After all, you were against the door, so there was no way that she could have opened it. But you remembered that you did witness her walk through a wall once or twice. But you had to wonder how long she had actually been there. You then had to conclude that she was never going to even try to be normal.

“Kobik?” you sniffled trying to put yourself back together.

She didn’t say anything but sat herself down next to you pulling her knees against her chest like you.

“What’s wrong?” she asked softly.

“Nothing,” you replied attempting to stop you crying but failing.

“Just grown-up stuff that you don’t have to worry about.”

She paused giving you time to wipe your tears.

“Is everything okay?”

She shook her head.

“Do you need anything?”

She shook her head again, making you wonder what she was in the room for.

“I can take your pain away,” she said softly.

You frowned and tilted your head.

“You still make that face a lot,” she pointed out.

For some reason that made you giggle through your tears. She had never made you laugh before the way that she was always good at making Bucky chuckle. And this time she wasn’t even trying.

“What do you mean, Kobik?”

She sighed before comedically mimicking your face by frowning and tilting her little head.

This made you laugh again as you wiped your nose with your sleeves. But that wasn’t your question, and she knew it.

She softly placed her hand on your upper arm and closed her eyes. You didn’t know what was happening, but you felt a tiny bit of energy being sucked out of your body. You wondered if you should be worried, but you found that you couldn’t bring yourself to pull away.

Her facial expressions changed as if she was seeing something like a movie. You wondered what the hell she was seeing. Her eyes may have been closed, but you could see the distress in her face. When she opened her eyes, she looked sad. You could see tears beginning to form on the bottom of her eyes, but she shook it off before they could fully manifest.

“That pain,” she pointed out.

“I can fix it.”

What did she mean? What did she see?

Was she just talking about the fact that you feared having a child? Or did she see the horrifying memories of watching your parents die right before your eyes after being shot by two members of Hydra when you were twelve? Did she see when you were taken hostage by those same people even though Hydra was already gone? If it hadn’t been for Bucky, you would have experienced the same fate as your parents. Did she see all of it? Feel all of it?

“How did you…How could you?—”

“I can make you forget.”

First of all, how could she do that? And second of all…Did you want to let her? Baby or not, the thought of a cosmic cube of energy with the maturity of a 4 year old messing you’re your head scared you a little bit. But if she could do it risk-free…Would you let her?

Your breath hitched.

“Forget?”

She nodded innocently.

You wanted to think about it. But you knew your answer. You knew what your answer would always be.

What you went through was truly horrible. Yes. But when you finally got to think about it with clarity, when given the opportunity, you realized that you didn’t want it. You might forget what happened, but you couldn’t change what actually happened.

Everything that you went through shaped who you were. Shaped how you connected to your husband. Forgetting it all wouldn't change the outcome of your situation. If you forgot about it all, would your life even be real anymore?

You blinked a couple of tears away and you set your hand on her knee.

“No,” you said softly.

Your voice cracked a little bit.

She looked deep into your eyes before facing forward and shrugging.

“That’s what Buck said,” she muttered softly.

“He won’t let me fix it either.”

You looked at her helpless expression and gave her a soft smile.

“Why do you want to fix it, sweetie? Why make people forget?” you asked.

She shrugged again and pressed her knees to her chest even tighter.

“So you don’t have to feel it anymore.”

Your heart immediately broke. She knew what it was like to feel pain. To feel the loss the way that you and Bucky felt. The facility that she had come from wasn’t just a lab to study her. As Bucky said, it was her home. And the scientists she trusted…They were her family. And now they were gone.

“Can you heal your own pain? Make yourself forget?”

She shook her head still looking forward. You rubbed her back softly the same way that Bucky did when trying to comfort someone.

“Would you do it if you could?”

She paused to think about it, and turned to you with a sad expression in her eyes, and just shrugged.

All she wanted to do was become human and was now stuck with the shitty life that she had handed to her. She shouldn’t have had to live the life that she was living. Something that you knew all too well. And here you were acting like you didn’t care for her, and acting scared of her when what she needed most was someone who could and wanted to care for her. Just like Bucky did, even before she went through what she did.

Before you even had a chance to register what you were doing, you let your arms wrap around her and you held her tight.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

“Nothing, kid,” you sniffled rocking her back and forth.

“Let’s say we do something fun.”

She tilted her head pondering on what you were thinking.

“Like what?”

“Well what do you want to do?” you chuckled.

She truly was as indecisive as what you imagined a 4-year-old to be like. So you took it upon yourself to decide for her.

“How about pizza?”

Note: Finally the bonding that everyone was hoping and waiting for.

(Let me know if you want me to tag you in future chapters.)

Tags: @teenagedreams-bucky @typicalnerd98 @veroxloki @white-wolf-buckaroo @acciosiriusblack @pastel-boy-sungjae

@unstablesleepygal

“Why don’t you go sit with your harem?” I was referring to the group of girls he usually sat with in the back of the lecture hall. “I’m sure they need your attention more than I do.”

“Probably.” No shame. Not even an ounce of shame. No embarrassment. No sense of humility. How do people find him—

Okay. Fine. He’s attractive. But how do people stand to be around him?

My watch vibrates, letting me know I have a text, and I look down at it to see that Tony texted me. Thankful for the distraction, I grab my phone out of my backpack and open the conversation.

Tony: Jarvis thinks I have a concussion and keeps wanting to call an ambulance. Tell him I’m fine.

“God, it’s like babysitting a five-year-old,” I mumble. He’s nearly twice my age, but Tony Stark is just a giant baby underneath his playboy exterior. I suppose rather than an uncle, he’s more like an annoying older brother.

“That the dude from your date on Friday?”

“Yeah, but it wasn’t a date.”

Canary: You designed Jarvis. He knows you better than you do. If he thinks you have a concussion, go to the damn hospital.

Canary: What did you do, btw?

“Not a date. Right. Dressed like you were? Doll, that dress you wore was probably more than my last paycheck.”

Setting my phone down, I gave all of my attention to the dark-haired man beside me. “Why so interested in my love life, Barnes? Your one-night stands getting boring?”

He leaned forward, arms crossed on his desk, and gave me a smirk with that damn twinkle in his eye. “Why so defensive, Y/L/N? Jealous that your best friend found her true love and you struck out on Friday night?”

“Oh, God, don’t remind me about Nat and Steve. They’re disgusting. Literally they’re always making out on the couch or in my kitchen or… ugh.” I’m happy for Nat, but still. Boundaries, girl!

Tony: It’s Bubba’s fault. I tweaked the thrusters and tested them out and that stupid machine didn’t spot me like he should have.

Tony: If I had a concussion, would I be able to type grammatically correct sentences? Checkmate.

“Boy trouble?” Bucky wiggled his eyebrows and I just shot him a dirty look.

“Boss trouble. Gimme a sec.” Rather than text him back, I dialed his number and waited for him to pick up. I didn’t even give him time to say hello when he answered. “Go to the damn hospital, Tony.”

“No time, Cannie. We’ve got that—”

“I will drag your stupid ass to the hospital myself. If I’m going to be on my A-Game this week, you need to be too. I need your brain. It’s the whole reason I have a job. I’m going to tell Jarvis to call that ambulance.”

“They’ll just tell me I can’t do the presentation and—”

“For fucks sake, man. I’ll do the presentation. Your brain is your best asset and no-no, don’t say anything. I regret that word choice already. You need to make sure you didn’t fuck up and ruin it.”

“Grammatically correct sentences.” He said pointedly. “I’m fine.”

“I’ll believe it when a doctor tells me that.” I hung up and immediately called the line that Tony set up for me to directly connect to Jarvis. “Jarvis, I’m overriding whatever stupid command Tony gave you and telling you to call a goddamn ambulance.”

“Miss Y/L/N, I cannot approve an override without—”

“Override code: Please and thank you.”

There was a moment of silence before Jarvis approved the code and called an ambulance. I just loved that AI. I swear, he was more human than most humans sometimes.

By the time I finished with all of that drama, Bucky was watching me with a puzzled grin on his lips. “I’ve never heard anyone talk to their boss like that.”

“You’ve never met my boss. You’d understand.”

Just as Bucky was about to say something else, the professor drew everyone’s attention to begin another boring lecture. As usual, my attention span lasted roughly thirty seconds before I was bored to tears and turned to a clean page in my notebook.

Tony said he was messing with the thrusters? I could only imagine the kind of scene that played out when he tested them. Get footage from Jarvis, I wrote in the margin of the page before starting playing around with the thruster design.

For the presentation on Friday, we would definitely have to go with the original design. There was no way I was going to trust one of Tony’s tweaks less than a week before the biggest presentation of my life. This might not be as big of a deal for him, but this was my first real presentation. If I could nail this in front of the entire board of Stark Industries, the CIA, and select individuals from the US Armed Forces, then I was set for life. I would have my choice of jobs. I could do whatever I ever imagined after graduating next year.

I just couldn’t let Tony screw this up.

But since I knew him, I knew that he was going to play around with the design until he got bored with it, so I had to keep up with him. Maybe I could even come up with some ideas he hasn’t yet. Beat the great Stark to a breakthrough. That was the dream…

My watch vibrated again and I glanced down to see the message scrolling past the screen.

Jarvis: Mr. Stark has been admitted to New York-Presbyterian Hospital. He is not happy. I will keep you updated on his whereabouts so you will be able to find him when you are finished with your classes for the day.

“Big baby,” I whispered under my breath.

Warm breath on my shoulder drew my attention to Bucky, who was leaning over to look at my notebook. “You a fashion designer or something?”

“Or something,” I muttered. He was entirely too close to me, so I shoved him lightly. “Dude, personal space.”

The rest of class went by uneventfully. Bucky kept trying to distract me and I kept squinting at my notes on the project. There was something I could do with it. Something I hadn’t thought about yet. I just knew it.

Before I knew it, class had passed and everyone was suddenly moving, shoving their notebooks and laptops into their bags. As if snapped out of a daze, I looked around.

“Well, that was a fascinating lecture, as usual,” Bucky drawled, stretching his arms back and over his head. Why guys always took up so much space was a mystery to me.

“I sure hope none of that is gonna be on the test,” I mumbled, gathering my things.

Bucky stayed by my side and, uncharacteristically, stayed quiet until we were out of the classroom. Ever since Nat, my best friend, started dating Steve, his best friend, Bucky and I found ourselves together all too often. So I knew that he rarely shut up.

“You know,” he started, and I nearly groaned. So close. So close to a full sixty seconds without speaking. That would have been a record. “I could help you out with this class.”

“You? Really?”

His brow furrowed minutely and there was a wounded expression that flashed across his eyes. It was so brief that I nearly didn’t catch it. “Hey now, just because I’m hot and sexy as hell doesn’t mean I can’t be smart too. You should know.”

That made me scoff. “Right.”

But… if Bucky really could help me out in this class… I was teetering right on the edge of failing. I really didn’t want to retake this class next semester…

“No strings?”

“What kind of strings would I attach, Y/L/N?”

We stepped out into the cool fall air and I stopped just before going down the stairs to the building. Bucky imitated me and I eyed him for a long few moments, trying to discern his true intentions. Why did he offer to help me? What did he have to gain?

“Okay,” he gave in with a hidden smile. “Fine. One string.”

“Ha! I knew it!” There was always something.

He shoved his hands into his pockets and paused for a moment, as if trying to figure out how to word his stipulation. “One string: friendship. That’s it. I promise. I’ll help you, but you have to admit that we’re friends.”

That was not at all what I had been expecting. “Why?”

He huffed a small laugh and there might have actually been a spattering of blush on his cheeks. “Alright, this is going to make me sound like a complete douche, but it’s the truth. I swear.”

“Spit it out, Buck.”

“I like this,” he motioned to the space between us. “Because you’re not into me. Besides Nat, you’re the only other woman who doesn’t try to get my attention or get into my pants. It’s refreshing.”

“Poor Bucky,” I crooned. “It must be so hard to have all the women falling over themselves for you. Being the resident sex-god must just be the worst.”

He rolled his eyes. “I know, I know. Douchey, right?”

I shook my head and started walking towards the library. “It’s conceited, is what it is. I can guarantee you that Nat and I are not the only women who don’t want to sleep with you. You just never notice the girls who don’t pay any attention to you.”

“You’re probably right,” he surrendered. “But about our deal, whattaya say, friend? Besides, we’re gonna spend a lot of time together anyway, with Nat and Steve dating. Might as well just accept the inevitable.”

My watch vibrated just as I started to respond and I glanced down to see a short message from Tony seconds before another text came through from Jarvis.

Tony: I hate you.

Jarvis: Mr. Stark has a mild concussion but is otherwise in excellent health. He is going back home.

Turning my attention back to Bucky, I gave him a small smile. “Let’s see how the first study session goes.”

“Tomorrow at one? Grab some lunch while we’re at it?” With a victorious grin, he started walking backwards away from me.

“I have to work all day. I can do Wednesday at one though.”

“I’ll meet you at your place with food, then. See ya later, friend!”

Watching him walk away, I wondered what the hell I’d just gotten myself into.

Series Taglist Open. Add Yourself HERE

Bucky Babes: @lavieenlex @hallow-hazel @infinity-dreamchaser @clintawcoffeenobarton  @amomenttowrite @zanthiasplace @clairese1980 @bandbandeau @zahiaouzidane @li-ssu @mogaruke @molly-hooperific @optimistic-babes @amomenttowrite @scarletlingeries

           You walked across the hall and opened the door to find that she wasn’t in her bed.

           You hoped that she hadn’t gotten into a quietly mischievous mood, and had just taken a ride downstairs in daddy’s arms.

           You quickly shuffled down to the kitchen only to find Frankie sitting on the edge of the counter, and Bucky holding the ear thermometer to take her temperature.

           “Mommy,” she whined, weakly, not seconds before vomiting grape juice onto the floor.

           “100.1,” Bucky announced.

            You pouted and made your way to her to comfort her. She was too weak to say anything, or cry. She just laid her head on your chest as you rubbed her back.

           “She really wasn’t looking too hot when I checked on her this morning.”

           “I can imagine, she’s usually bouncing off the walls by now,” You replied, softly rocking her side to side.

           You looked down at her pale face and noticed her eyes were closed, and her breath steady. She was already asleep.

           “Here, let me take her upstairs,” you said.

           “No, let me go,” Bucky protested.

           “You were sick not even ten minutes ago.”

It wasn’t that you didn’t love how much he cared about you. But it was just those times when he treated you like a weak little flower that made you livid every now and again. Especially considering the fact that you trained new agents to go out on assignments the way you did out in the field before you got pregnant.

           “It’s not like she’s a 200lb barbell. I can carry my daughter up the stairs.”

           “Juice box. Now,” Bucky ordered.

           You rolled your eyes and opted to just go get cleaning supplies for the mess that was now on the floor.

            As you walked toward the closet, you had an intrusive thought. A thought that you weren’t exactly proud of having. But considering the fact that you had gotten sick first thing in the morning made you a little bit nervous the moment after it happened.

You weren’t saying you were the worst mother in the world. But…considering the fact that you had to hold back a smile on your way to the supply closet, you figured you were definitely nowhere near even the bottom of the list for the ‘Mother of The Year’ candidacy.

           Of course, there was no way that you liked seeing your baby like this. You hated feeling so helpless knowing that there was nothing to do but give her medicine and wait for her to recover. The first thing you had to do at the moment was to bring the fever down. But you knew now, that you both just had a bug.

…

           Oh, you caught a bug alright. A tiny human bug. One that you had specifically caught from your husband. You were wrong. You and Frankie did not have anywhere near the same kind of sickness at all.

           You stared at the little plus signs on all 4 pregnancy tests that you peed on.

           “Well so much for that fucking IUD,” you sighed.

           When you thought about it, you really had been ignoring some of the obvious signs. Last time, you didn’t realize you were pregnant until you were 12 weeks along. And thanks to that failed IUD, you really hadn’t suspected a thing. You hadn’t gained much if any weight in your belly area, and it even took another 2 months for you to even start showing. To be fair, you had no idea what it was like to be pregnant at the time so it was hard to figure out.

This time, you figured you had just gained a little of weight because you were eating too much pizza. Granted…last time you craved pizza that often, you had a newborn Frankie in your arms not too long later.

The need to buy more Pedialyte, Motrin, and crackers (the crackers mostly for you), made getting out of the house to go the pharmacy so late in the evening so much easier. Now you didn’t have to give a bullshit excuse to Bucky, so he didn’t suspect a thing. Granted, you were going to have to tell him the news very soon.

You walked upstairs towards Frankie’s door which was cracked open. You peered into the bedroom with dimmed lights to find Bucky laying propped up against the headboard on your daughters’ bed, cradling her tiny form, and reading her a Harry Potter book. She comfortably listened while sipping on Pedialyte infused grape juice.

You really did try to get her into little bunny, and teddy bear picture books. But after she turned two, she didn’t care for those kinds of things. So, you had decided to try a chapter book as a joke and found by accident that she responded to that method incredibly well. You were sure that it wasn’t necessarily that she wanted more complex plotlines, or even understood that the storyline was even about. But, she probably just really didn’t care for the visual stimulation and preferred hearing daddy’s voice while her head rested on his chest. A feeling that you could wholeheartedly relate to.

You backed away not wanting to disturb them and crept your way back downstairs.

On your way down, you couldn’t help but feel your heart melt beyond measure at the sight of Bucky taking care of your precious baby so attentively, and so well. And not necessarily just throughout this day when he noticed right away that she was lethargically ill; but how he was with her since the day she was born. Even earlier when he took good care of you during the good, and difficult days of your pregnancy.

Thinking about this made you realize that there was no reason to fear what or who was coming along next. You had no reason to even feel scared to tell him about another incredibly unplanned child coming into the picture.

…

           After about 30 minutes, James came back down into the dimly lit kitchen to find you sitting on the edge of the marble island counter getting to your emails from your students.  

           “Sorry I was up there so long,” he said.

           “She fell asleep and, and I didn’t have the heart to move her for a bit.”

           You smiled. A result of your heart melting furthermore. It was enough to make you want to cry.

           “You need anything, doll?”

           You shook your head and outstretched my arms for him to come closer to you for a big hug.

           “You know I never doubted that you’d be an amazing dad,” you said, softly with the right side of your face resting on his chest.  

           “Even when we found out about Frankie so far into my pregnancy despite swearing we never wanted kids. And yet, the moment I saw the look in your eyes when you saw our little one on that t ultrasound screen before I even had the courage to look, I feared that I couldn’t be nearly as great a parent as you would be.”

           He pulled away and stared lovingly into your eyes.

           “I knew you’d be a good mom when you took care of that three-year-old Russian girl that you saved during that one mission in Ukraine five years ago,” he replied.

           “She wouldn’t talk to anybody but you, and when I saw the bond you two had created within an hour. I knew right then that if you were to become a mother, you’d be the most amazing one. And I was right.”

           He cupped your face in his hands and kissed you on the forehead.

           “So…” You found yourself pausing.  

           You took his hands away from your face and held onto them, nervously fidgeting with his fingers.

           “Have you ever thought about what would happen if we had another one?”

           You looked up to see his expression. His left eyebrow was raised.

           “Well I sure thought about it this morning,” he shrugged.

           You narrowed your eyes watching that faint little smirk of his start to creep up.

           “So, you figured out that I was preg-”

           “Of course, I did, (Y/N).” he interrupted.

           “And you’re okay with this?” You asked, nervously.

“Even though it was supposed to be a one in a million chance that it happened again?”

           “(Y/N)…if that’s the ratio is a million to one, then we’ve definitely reached the threshold for that one after the million.”

           You smacked him on the arm and giggled.

                       “Of course, I’m happy, (Y/N),” he whispered against your lips while keeping his flesh hand on your belly before reaching down to kiss it.

           “But watch this one be born within the next two months,” he teased. It was definitely a hyperbolic shade to the fact that you had no idea Franky existed until 12 weeks into your term. You wouldn’t have even known if you hadn’t to gone to the med-bay for a sprained ankle you had acquired during a training session.

           You rolled your eyes and once again collapsed your head onto his chest.

           “You’re lucky I love you, Barnes,” you groaned.

           I love you too, Barnes.”

You didn’t know why you felt this way almost all of the time. The day Frankie was born was the happiest day of your life; despite the idea of ever having a kid was one of the most unplanned event that you could ever imagine. You and Bucky had disclosed, and agreed that you never wanted to have kids. Your lives were too busy, and you both loved what you did. Plus the idea of having a kid was absolutely terrifying. You didn’t know how to be parents. But one day almost 7 months ago while minutes away from taking off on a mission that didn’t involve Bucky, you were called off of the jet only to  be yelled at by your CO for trying to get on a mission while 12 weeks pregnant. 12 weeks pregnant? You had scoffed at your CO for even suggesting that that was a possibility. In fact, you laughed in his face as though it were some weird prank. Someone had obviously planted those results on you. There was no fucking way. True, you had admittedly skipped out on your bi-monthly medical check-ups three times until that day. So you came to the conclusion that someone found out about it and planted it on your medical records so that they could get away with doing what they wanted for at least a little while longer. 3 pregnancy tests later, and a follow-up doctor’s appointment the very next day confirmed their own statements. And yet, although you had both been scared out of your minds for nearly 24 hours, when you heard the sound of that strong heartbeat echo around the room, you felt an overwhelming sense of calm. You had a hard time mustering up the courage to look at the screen at first, but in Bucky’s eyes you could see an expression of awe…even love while fixating on the footage of that little form resting calmly inside you. That look alone gave you the courage to turn around and see what was your little girl. You were then both immediately in love. So why were you feeling like this right now? This was supposed to be the happiest time of your life. Sure, you were a little (very) sleep deprived, our nipples felt like raw, engorged chew toys, and you were recovering from an incredibly long, and difficult labor/birth that bordered on traumatic. It was eventually the best day of your life, but even thinking about that pain made you start to tremble. Why did everyone say that you would forget the pain in a split second? Now for the past week or so, Frankie would start wailing, and she would not stop for a long time. You had no idea what she was crying about, or how to fix it. You felt so helpless in those moments, especially when she would cry angrily as though to tell you to figure out what the fuck she needed, and now. Now was one of those moments. Her diaper was clean, you tried feeding her but she refused; you tried rocking her, and putting her down for a nap. And yet, nothing was helping. You stood in the middle of her nursery with her head resting on your shoulder as you softly bounced her, rocking her side to side. Nothing. You felt tears start to form in your eyes. You didn’t know what you were doing wrong. Maybe she just hated you. Bucky swiftly walked into the room. “Y/N, is everything oka-” “We’re fine,” you snapped. “Y/N, just let me take her for a little while,” “I said, we’re fine! You think I don’t know how to take care of her?” This caused her to cry even harder. You shot him a severe look, signaling him to go away. When he finally left the room, the tears that you tried to hold back began to flow, and you broke out into silent sobs so as to try not to upset her even more. You were failing, and you didn’t know what to do about it. . . . After another half hour, she had finally tired out and went to sleep. But God knows how for how much longer now. You made your way to the living room and plopped on the couch and hugged your knees in an upright position. You nearly started rocking yourself, but you didn’t have it in you to even do that. You didn’t even have the energy to push yourself sideways to make yourself comfortable to get some sleep. So you just stared off into space. You didn’t even have enough energy to even have thoughts at this point. “Y/N,” Bucky sighed, sitting next to you on the couch, setting a light hand on your shoulder. You jumped, not expecting the physical contact. Especially after how badly you had treated him not too long ago. “Y/N, you really should get some sleep.” You shook your head, just barely as you continued to stare off into space. “She’ll probably need me soon, so there’s no point,” “Then let me take care of it.” You shook your head once again. A little bit stronger now. “Y/N, do you not trust me with the baby?” You frowned, but didn’t move your eyes or head to his direction. “Y/N…” Now you snapped your head towards him, feeling a burst of energy fueled by anger come out. “How could you say that?” You exclaimed. “Y/N, you never let me take care of her, much less touch her nowadays. So I’m asking you again. Do you not trust me to be around her anymore?” You sighed, fighting another burst of tears attempting to make their way through. It wasn’t that you didn’t trust him with the baby. In fact, it took a little while for him to even trust himself to hold her. On the day that she was born, you decided that you needed to spontaneously enforce the sink or swim method on him. So you just handed her off to him giving him no option but to hold her, or she would fall. And you knew that he was never going to let that happen to his precious little doll. So who the fuck was he to accuse you of that? You shot up, crossing your arms. “Great, so now I’m not just a horrible mother, but a terrible wife too? Is that what you’re saying?” “Y/N,” he said softly, keeping a short distance from you. And that’s when the tears came out in loud sobs. You couldn’t control it, or hold back as you did before. You turned your back to him with your head in your hands. You suddenly felt him wrap his arms around you, and turn you around. Your head was now resting on his chest forming a large wet spot onto his light-grey shirt. He rocked you side to side as though you were the baby now that couldn’t stop crying. You didn’t deserve him. He sat you back on the couch and had you lay down with your knees curled up, and your head resting on his legs. “Y/N, I’m sorry for what I said, but please just tell me what’s going on. You act as though you have to do this alone.” That was it. You felt like you did have to. You felt an immense amount of guilt about how much you had put her in danger for the first three months of your pregnancy. You had carried on doing missions, and engaged in multiple rigorous, and dangerous fights. All because you neglected to go to those stupid check-ups. When you found out about her presence, you felt a desperate need to protect her. Since she was inside of you, it hardly even felt like a task. As long as you were safe, she was safe by default. She was comfortable, secure, and had all of her needs taken care of by default. Now that she was out in the world, it was a different story. You had been so close to her for so many months. It was the closest bond that one human could have with another human. On a technical scale, you were the only one who had any sort of physical contact with her until the moment you gave birth to her. Now that she was out in the world as an autonomous being, that thought scared you. You wanted that closeness back. You wanted her protected in your belly once again. Now it felt like she couldn’t even bond with you. She hated you now. You didn’t know how to properly be a mother. So you tried, and you tried day and night and but continued to fail nonetheless. But while trying to learn how to care for her properly, you didn’t realize that in the process you had been alienating her from her father. Or rather, you had been alienating her father from her. It wasn’t fair to him to feel that way. So, you explained the exact thoughts that you were feeling as you continued to sob on his lap. He did nothing but listen while stroking your hair. “Y/N you’re not a terrible mother,” he said in the hushed tone that he knew soothed you. “And you shouldn’t feel like you have to do this alone. You’re crashing, and I see it happening more and more by the hour. You can’t keep going on like this without eventually ending up in a hospital.” You sniffled, finally regaining the ability to stop the tears. Within a split second, he scooped you up and carried you upstairs to your bedroom to set you onto the bed, covering you up in the warm blankets. The pillows underneath you felt so soft. Softer than they had ever felt in your life. “Now rest,” he whispered before kissing you on the forehead. “What if she gets hungry?” you muttered drowsily.   “Fridge.” Oh right…You had completely forgotten that you had left milk for her in there. You just felt too guilty to use it to let him bottle feed her. But the bed was so comfortable, before you could even finish the thought, you drifted off into sleep. … The next few weeks were still hard; but not nearly as much as before. You let Bucky help you, sharing the load. How you had felt before didn’t go away overnight, and you still felt tired a lot of the time. But you didn’t feel like you were going to crash as hard as before. Slowly over time, the spontaneous waterworks began to subside. Eventually the more you got the hang of things, it was much easier to take care of her. With the added help of Bucky of course. You didn’t realize how much less of a weight on your shoulders it was when you let him share some of the load. You bonded with her more and more, and so did her father. You melted when you secretly watched that tiny baby lay comfortably in his arms. One time you broke out into sobs at the sight of them. Bucky had fallen asleep with her in his arms as she slept comfortably. When he woke up hearing the tear induced gasp, Bucky thought that he had done something wrong. But it was the opposite. You smiled through the tears and explained that they were happy tears.   And as the months went by, you celebrated the new milestones that she accomplished. You weren’t as sad as you thought you would be in the process of  watching her up so fast. You loved seeing how much her fire-like spirit and determination to learn how to do new things and navigate the world flourished. She would give you the biggest, and happiest one-toothed smiles when  crawled around the living-room floor with her chunky baby legs; and oftentimes would explode into the most infectious bouts of laughter. It was impossible for anyone not to light up at the sound of it, especially in public. As mentioned before, it still wasn’t easy adjusting into parenthood. But you set your mind into realizing that this was another journey in life that you would conquer every day, and enjoy every step of the ride. But when those moments came when you felt like you were failing, Bucky stepped in and reassured you that it was just the opposite. He reasoned that you felt that way not because you were a bad mother, but because you wanted to be the best damn mother you could be. And that you were doing a hell of a good job at it. And he was doing a hell of a good job at being the best father. Parenthood may have been a journey that neither of you had wanted in the beginning of your relationship. But now, you couldn’t imagine life without your little family.

… You sat in the kitchen of the compound staring blankly at your toast. You were hungry. At least a little bit. And you knew that you needed to hydrate with that big glass of orange juice in front of you. You weren’t one for hangovers; you’ve never even had one in your life. But you could definitely feel the dehydration setting in after all of the drinking you had been doing … Actually come to think about it you only had two drinks. You just ended up sweating a lot… “DAMN IT!” You exclaimed, chucking the glass across the room. “Okay, I am not cleaning that up,” Sam stated as he walked into the kitchen. You didn’t even respond. You just stayed silent, only acknowledging  him with a quick nod. You could tell that he was pretty hungover. His eyes were half open, and he had a hand to his head indicating a nasty headache. The sound of glass shattering against a nearby wall probably didn’t help either. “You okay, Y/N?” He asked, half-assed. “Fine,” You replied, through gritted teeth. “Why would anything be wrong?” He narrowed his eyes at you, realizing that you had used up the rest of the juice by as a makeshift baseball. So, he settled for a water bottle to take back to his room. You knew that you would not be seeing him anytime soon until tomorrow. “Steve,” Sam sighed at Steve walking in while Sam was on his way back to his room. “Maybe you can fix her. She’s malfunctioning. Maybe put her in some rice, or something.” You rolled your eyes and scoffed. You wanted to laugh, but you were in too bad of a mood for that. “Hey, Y/N. Everything alright?” “Hey!” You replied, trying to sound chipper. You immediately realized that you definitely seemed like you were overcompensating. He rested his arms on the counter across from you giving you the ‘don’t give me that bullshit’ look. Steve really did know you that way. He was like an older brother to you. But as much as your appreciated that type of closeness to someone, you really hated the fact that you couldn’t lie to this guy. “Listen, it’s not big deal.” “Y/N,”  he replied. “Don’t act like most of us didn’t know you pulled a disappearing act on us. We literally sent you and Bucky to go get something together and neither of you came back. And now you really don’t seem like yourself. Did something happen that we don’t know about?” You continued to stare at him, feeling your eye begin to twitch. Do you tell him? Do you lie? What to do, what to do, dear God… “Hey, Steve did you find th—” There it was. That familiar voice that you dreaded to hear, walked into the open space that you and Steve shared. “Why now?” you thought. He paused when he saw you. Probably thinking the exact same thing that you were. And then…You started to feel something much worse than anything you could have imagined to feel on this morning. Something so much worse than regret, or disdain for who was standing in front of you. In fact, you would have settled for the worst hangover that ever existed in all of history instead of this. …You felt your pathetic little heart flutter. “Oh hell no,” you shuddered, shooting up as though the chair had turned into an electric chair. You then realized that you had actually blurted those words out, out loud. Had it not been for Steve’s eye raise, you might not have even noticed. “Okay,” Steve said in a firm tone. The type of tone that parents used to scold their children when they weren’t acting right. Granted, you weren’t his children. And you definitely weren’t like fighting siblings. Especially after what had happened last night. “You two need to work out whatever the hell is going on. This animosity that you have against each other is going too far.” If only he knew. You and Bucky continued to stare each other down. Steve of course couldn’t bear the silence. “You two got into one of your stupid fights again last night didn’t you? That’s why you both disappeared, right?” Neither of you broke away from the staring match. “You know what?” He continued. He suddenly walked over towards you, grabbed you by the upper arm, and pulled towards Bucky. He then grabbed Bucky by the collar of his t-shirt and continued to drag you to the home theatre. Like children. He then practically threw you in there, turned on the light and said, “Neither of you are getting out of here until you work it out. Everyone here is sick of your shit, and you two seem nowhere near resolving it on your own.” You were so angry, you felt your body begin to grow numb. This was not happening today of all days. “I’ll open the door and let you out once I figure you’ve had enough time to find common ground.”   You turned to Bucky, who’s jawline was tightening more and more by the second. If Winter Soldier stares could kill, Steve would be a dead man right now.   Steve shut the door, and you could hear a locking sound from the outside. “He…There’s a lock on the outside too?” You exclaimed. “Y/N,” “Aren’t you a fucking super soldier? Just kick the door down!” “We both know there’s no use of that. He’ll find a way to trap us both again into the same situation,” he stated. Why did he have to make sense? You rolled your eyes. “Hey listen,” he groaned. “I’m not much happier about this situation than you are.” “Really?” you sighed. “Is that what you thought last night?” “Interesting words for someone who kissed me first?” You gasped. You had actually forgotten about that part. In fact…until that moment you had totally blocked out the part of the story that happened before you ended up in bed together. Now you were at a loss for words. “I…But you…” “Oh you’re as much to blame as I am, sweetheart.” You furiously made your way over to him and cornered him. “Don’t you dare call me sweetheart again.”

You had no idea what came over you. Maybe it was a mix of him being too close to you for comfort, the sharp stare that you were so familiar with, and the fact that you just wanted him to shut up already. Either way, he was not pulling away. In fact, he pulled you closer. Kissed you deeper. Brought his left hand to move up and down your waist with his right on the side of your face as things grew hotter and hotter. His body heat radiated onto you, and you felt your heart beat faster and faster. You didn’t even have time, or the sense to think about what was going on, or why it was happening. Was it the frustration manifesting into some sort of odd result? Misplaced lust? Something else? Those thoughts, (or lack thereof) didn’t stop anything from escalating as hard or fast as it did. He pushed you back a few feet and pressed you against the wall, not faltering on what he was doing before. You wrapped your arms around his neck, and pulled yourself up so that he was holding you, and your legs were wrapped around him. And now he moved his mouth from your mouth over to your neck. Within seconds of him biting along your neck (which you knew was definitely going to leave a mark), you uncontrollably let out a soft moan. When you did, you felt him smile deviously against your neck as one of his hands moved lower and lower down the front of your torso. By the time he slid his hand down your pants he was facing you, smugly staring, and studying how your expression changed as he pressed his fingers onto your underwear covered core. He liked seeing you at his mercy. There was no denying now that you were completely under his spell. You freed yourself from his grip and grabbed his right wrist. When you looked back, you saw that he looked confused for a moment. But when he saw which direction you were going in, he knew exactly where you were taking him. His room. His room was barely 100 feet away from where you were moments ago. So, you were inside in less than a minute. When he closed the door behind him, you pulled your shirt off in one swift movement and threw it across the room. He stepped closer to you, and kissed you ravenously once again and unclasped your bra. No fair. You pulled away again and began to pull his shirt up. Message noted. When he (figuratively) ripped it off, he swept you up, threw you on the bed like a ragdoll and positioned himself, planking over your jello-like body. He softly brushed his lips down your jawline, your neck, your exposed chest, and down your torso and stopped when he reached your hipbones. He knew he was being a tease, and he could tell by the way your body started to lightly tremble that it was working. When he pulled your leather pants along with your underwear off, your body was practically screaming for more. You wanted him to have you. For the time being, you wanted to be his. And he did…And you were. He had you reeling in ways that you had never felt before. He pushed you over the edge over, and over, and over again. In fact, he had you screaming at some point. Nobody had ever been able to do that before. Be the end of it, you felt as though you couldn’t speak. Or even move. So, you allowed your eyes to close, and you faded off into a deep, deep sleep. … That name triggered you the same way that it had last night. “Sweetheart.” He wasn’t saying it in some loving way that a boyfriend or husband would say it. It was sarcastic, and condescending. And yet…A spark went off in your brain when he said it. It made you feel something strange. Sure, you felt that usual anger…But you felt that weird feeling before anger. Did you feel anger because of that weird, unexplained feeling? Was it just a feeling that was a two second precursor to anger? Was it some weird form of lust that stemmed from being mentally flogged by that nickname? Either way…It lead you to make the exact same mistake as last night. You angrily stormed over to him and kissed him. You kissed him harder, deeper, and more unreservedly than the first time you kissed last night. And he reciprocated without hesitation. It was suddenly clear that what had happened last night was about to happen right here, right now on this floor. You pushed him down to the ground and settled yourself to sit on him where you could feel that he was just as lustful for you as you were for him in the moment. You used that to your advantage, grinding yourself  against him, quickly resulted in light gasps and moans from the both of you. And because of that previous familiarity, and memory of how intense things were, you wanted him to have you once again. Right on that floor. Right away. And he did.   … One year later. “Wanda, you really do find any occasion to throw a party whenever you can, don’t you?” “Oh come on, Y/N. What was I not going to throw a party for this?” You rolled your eyes and scooted closer to her on the couch to have a better look at what she was pulling up on her iPad. Of course, she had the party planner app open, and then started searching to her regular websites to order everything she needed to make things as perfect as she wanted them. “Oh, and look at this cake designer that I’m ordering from. He specializes on these types of things,” she stated. “Aren’t they cool, or what?” “Wanda, we do not need something this fancy for right now.” “Of course you do!” she exclaimed. “You only get engaged…well…Hopefully once. I’m pretty sure this is the one and only time you’ll be engaged.” You chuckled, looking down at the silver diamond ring that Bucky had given you not 48 hours ago. It had two little diamonds on each side of a larger red ruby in the middle. It was the most beautiful ring that you had ever seen in your life. You really couldn’t believe that this was happening to you. You were engaged. On top of that you were engaged to someone you couldn’t stand the sight of like a year and a half ago. When you finally got your clothes back on after that one impromptu moment of passion in the home theatre a year ago, you both sat down on the floor against the wall next to each-other and called a truce. Steve walked in at that moment saw you with your head on his shoulder. And he looked disturbed. You were confused. You both were confused. You thought that he wanted you guys to bury the hatchet. “I could have gone my entire life without seeing that,” he said, shaken up. That’s when you realized. “You didn’t—” “Oh, I saw,” He stated, pointing at his phone followed by pointing at the fucking CCTV camera in the corner. First of all…you had no idea that that was there in the first place. Second of all, you had no idea that he’d be spying on you while having you locked in. And oh gosh, you knew the security system in the whole building had sound. “I’m gonna fucking kill you, Steve,” said Bucky. And the rest was history. Gone were the days where the sound of the word ‘sweetheart’ made you go into a blind rage. Now, you couldn’t wait until the next time he called you that again.

He waited until he was on the boardwalk before stopping to face you. “Got me all riled up last night then fell asleep right after we ate.”

While that was a lie – you hadn’t fallen asleep right after you’d eaten because you’d been updating him on what you’d seen when you went to get food under the guise of pillow talk – you knew what he was really getting at. Your relationship was on uncertain ground and the two of you couldn’t exactly hash out the details of everything with everyone listening in.

Still though… he could have found a better way than waking you up before the sun even came up.

“That was fucking Sam’s fault. I was seconds away from tearing your clothes off when he called. Then I forgot my wallet and had to walk back and… if Sam hadn’t called, we could’ve had round one, called some delivery in, and gone all night.”

“Really?”

Once that line was crossed between you two, it could never be uncrossed.

But you were sure. So you looped your arms over his shoulders and pressed a quick kiss to his lips. “We can head back to the hotel room right now and I’ll show you what could’ve happened last night.”

“Really?” This time his arms circled you and pulled you tightly against his body and there was a spark in his eyes. Sure, there were cameras, and sure your team was watching. But they would assume any sex was faked, and the people watching from the town would assume it was real either way.

However, you really didn’t want any cameras getting any of this.

And just like that, you knew how to end this mission. Third day in and you could figure out what the hell was happening in this town.

Going up on tiptoes, you kissed your way up to Bucky’s ear and pretended to whisper your dirty plans to him. “Walk past the Chinese place and push me against the wall. I’ll accidentally open the door and we can be innocent, curious people, figure this out, and be back home in the privacy of your room soon enough. I’ll show you how serious I am once we’re back in New York.”

“Chert, ya tebya lyublyuj,” he growled, fingers digging into your hips. You pulled back with a question in your eyes, but he didn’t translate. Instead, one of his hands tangled in your hair and he pulled you in for a bruising kiss, like he couldn’t get enough. “Let’s get back to our room, doll.”

By the time you made it to the street with the Chinese place and hidden door, you were ready to just say fuck it and high tail it to the hotel room, cameras be damned. Bucky couldn’t keep his hands off of you and it was contagious. Your laughter rang out across the street as he tried to keep walking while he was bent down enough to kiss your neck. “Sugar cakes, we’ll be at the room soon.”

“Can’t wait that long,” he growled, dropping his hands to your hips and pushing you against the wall just as you’d planned. For nearly thirty seconds, you got lost in his kisses, completely forgetting why you were at this particular spot in the town. PDA was never your thing before, but apparently you’d never been with the right guy because you could do this all damn day in plain sunlight. Thank god your team had volunteered the two of you for this mission.

Mission.

Shit.

Right.

With all of your self control, you pushed him enough until you’d switched places and the wall was at his back. In your peripheral vision you could see a brick that had a loopy design carved in the corner, but most of your attention was on the devilish grin Bucky aimed your way.

“You, my friend, are insatiable.”

“Only when it comes to you, zvezda imbirya.”

That look in his eyes matched the one he got whenever you played a prank on Sam and you raised your eyebrow while threading your fingers with his metal ones and holding them against the wall beside his head, just a few inches shy of the brick you needed. “Translate bugga-boo.”

He just laughed. “Let’s just say if you ever decide to become a Russian stripper, you already have a great name picked out.”

“Oh my god, I hate you so much,” you said with a bright grin just before you kissed him. A few seconds later, your joined hands had inched over enough to press the brick and the wall at Bucky’s back shuddered and slid inward, making the two of you lose your balance.

“What the fuck?” Bucky muttered, playing the part and looking behind him in confusion.

“A secret passage?” You asked, pretending like your curiosity was piqued. “This really is the perfect wedding town. Even has its own mystery. Let’s check it out.”

“Y/N, I don’t think—”

“C’mon, abs de l'acier. Where’s your sense of adventure?” Grabbing his hand, you pulled him into the dark passage way, hiding your flinch when the door shut behind you two. This definitely hadn’t been on any of the cameras that FRIDAY hacked. A few minutes and several flights of stairs down, you pushed back a curtain and saw what this town was hiding.

“Well, fuck.”

Rows upon rows in this secret underground bunker were full of cages of people and humanoid creatures. Bucky took a few careful steps forward and plucked a binder from the nearest cage to flip through the pages.

“Goddammit, they’re experimenting. Creating mutants. Like a knockoff HYRDA.”

“You can’t be here!” The bartender from the first night started running towards you two and reached towards his pants – for a gun, presumably – but you were quicker, extending your arms towards him and releasing a burst of paralytic energy that had him stopping dead in his tracks.

“You’ve got some things to answer for,” you said, feeling sick to your stomach at everything here. A glance behind you told you that Bucky was calling your team, leaving you to watch the bartender. It wouldn’t be long before this was all over. “And your old fashioned tasted like shit. It’s too bad they won’t let you work on that in prison.”

Next Phase: Souchastnik 

Series Taglist Open. Add Yourself HERE

Bucky Babes: @lavieenlex @hallow-hazel @infinity-dreamchaser @andhiseyesweregreen @docharleythegeekqueen @amomenttowrite @zanthiasplace @bunniesowlsandwhales @clairese1980 @bandbandeau @notyourtypicalrose @zahiaouzidane