#bucky!au

From your flirty texts to the most adorable selfies, you’ve had a grown man - a firefighter nonetheless - giggling and kicking his feet all day, and it’s fair to say the crew has noticed.

“Cap, he’s lookin’ at his phone all weird again!” Sam jeers from his seat across and to the right of Bucky, his tone uncannily similar to that of a child telling on his friend to the teacher.

“Again, Buck?” Steve asks from the front bench behind him. “We just got back in the truck!”

It’s true, after putting out a small office complex kitchen fire, the team had only just climbed back into the truck to head back for a well earned break.

Natasha nudges Bucky’s shoulder, wiggling her eyebrows. “What’s she said this time to get you all blushy?”

The unimpressed glare at Sam slowly morphs into a timid glance to his lap, “She hasn’t actually replied for a while.” His voice is so meek that it’s hard for Steve to believe it’s his best friend speaking.

“Nat, is he looking at that photo again?” Steve asks, prompting the redhead to fight Bucky for a peek at his phone screen. She might be smaller than the brunette, but there’s yet to be anyone who can stop her from getting what she wants, even the six foot, two hundred pound hunk of muscle beside her.

Bucky releases a disgruntled murmur when Nat manages to snatch his phone from his grasp, his eyes rolling to the sky when she confirms what Steve had suspected.

“Man, you are so whipped!” Sam laughs, unperturbed by the kick to his shin from the less-than-impressed firefighter across from him. Steve is chuckling from the front seat, hell, even Clint is biting back a grin, his eyes trained on the road as he listens in to the commotion behind him.

“Shut up, Wilson.” Bucky groans. “Same goes to you too, Rogers. Or have you forgotten what I walked into in the turnout room last week?”

Sam’s face falls into one of genuine sincerity, gasping at Bucky’s words, “What happened in the turnout room?”

The Captain has long since been silent, the threat of his secret being spilled sobering him up immediately.

“Yeah, Cap, what did happen in the turnout room?”

Beside him, Natasha has gone suspiciously quiet; if Bucky didn’t know why, then he may not have noticed the dusting of crimson across her cheeks, but he does, and it brings a smirk to his lips.

“What happens in the turnout room, stays in the turnout room.” Steve asserts, though Sam isn’t ready to give it up yet.

“Oh come on, man! You know it’s not healthy to have secrets in the Firehouse!”

Content that the focus isn’t on him anymore, Bucky returns his attention to his phone where the ‘Delivered’ sign has yet to turn to ‘Read’. Where’d you go, doll? He thinks to himself, the sound of his crewmates bickering drowned out by the nagging voice in the back of his head saying something is wrong.

“Drop it, Wilson.” Nat warns, a stern look in her eyes that only adds fuel to the fire.

“What crawled up your ass and died, Romanoff?” Sam says before his jaw drops in shock. “You were there too, weren’t you?! Oh my god, this is-“

The familiar alarm rings through the cabin and Clint happily tells everyone to shut up so they can hear dispatch properly.

Fingers stilling above the keyboard on his phone, Bucky listens to the description and location of the fire and his heart drops.

It’s his address.

It’s your address.

“Buck, is that-“

Laced with fear, your name falls from Bucky’s lips and Steve wastes no time in ordering Clint to step on it.

10:09 AM

You must have dreamt the whole thing.

It’s the only plausible reason for waking up to a cold bed, body aching for a touch you fear you may have never felt. Sheets tangled between your legs, you lay sprawled across the bed with a hand laid flat at the spot you were so damn sure Bucky laid in the last time you were awake.

You dig the heel of your palms into your eyes, hoping to rub away the remnants of the best dream of your life, and wince at the swarm of colours behind your eyelids. By the time you drop your hands beside your head, you’ve convinced yourself that last night never happened and the dull ache between your thighs is nothing but a warning that your period is due.

Fuck this. You think, a groan rising from your dry throat, and push yourself to sit up when you catch something in the corner of your eye.

A glass of water sat on your bedside table and a bottle of painkillers you usually keep in your bathroom cabinet perched by its side; while their sudden appearance draws your brows together, it’s the folded piece of paper with your name scrawled across it that really intrigues you.

Sliding the note out, you recognise the handwriting to be Bucky’s, and for the first time since you woke up, you let yourself hope that last night really did happen.

As hard as it is to leave you, I’ve got to get to work. I didn’t want to wake you as I left, you looked so damn cute and I didn’t wanna disturb you any more than I already had. I’ll be home at 6. I hope you’ll let me make it up to you, staring with letting me fuck you while you wear my henley and then maybe we can remake some of those dreams you’ve had of me ;). Jamie. P.S. hope you’re not aching too much.

Holy motherfucking moly.

Overwhelmed with schoolgirl giddiness, you squeal and kick your feet, only to be reminded that you are, in fact, aching very much. Very, very much.

A smile that could send Bucky Barnes to his knees rests upon your lips seemingly frozen in place. Even as you throw your head back to take the painkillers, your grin remains steadfast; for a moment, you wish your neighbour-turned-lover was with you to relish in your first morning together, but one glance at Bucky’s note remind you that he’ll more than make it up to you.

Checking the time as you unlock your phone, you know Bucky is over four hours into his shift by now, and since he’s the only thing on your mind, you can’t help but wonder if he’s as consumed by thoughts of you as you are of him.

It takes only a moment for you to take matters into your own hands, fingers running through your tussled hair as you open your phone camera. It’s quick, and messy, but the grin that stretches from ear to ear will tell Bucky all he needs to know.

Ignoring the brief insecurities that you’re embarrassing yourself, you quickly send him the photo of yourself and choose to be bold for once.

The familiar swoosh sounds as your photo delivers and you lock your phone before crawling out of bed to get a shower. You’re barely through your bedroom door when your phone pings in your hand.

James: Why the fuck did I go to work today?

Laughing, you type your reply back.

You: Because it’s your job and there are buildings on fire?

You take two steps and he’s replied already.

James: Let ‘em burn

Bucky smells the smoke before he sees it, the billowing clouds hidden by familiar high rise office buildings, the ones he drives past to and from work every day.

The truck turns down your street but Bucky hardly notices; he can hear his heart beating in his ears and he’s dropping curse word after curse word, his phone playing your voicemail for the fourth time in two minutes. Three blue texts of increasing urgency sit unread on his screen and it takes everything he has to not launch it out the window.

You’ve been a text away all morning, why now have you taken a fucking sabbatical from your phone?

“Are you sure she’s home today?” Steve asks, interrupting Bucky’s spiralling thoughts.

“It’s her day off and she’s been texting me all mornin’. Y/n’s in that building, Steve!”

The calmness of Steve’s tone reminds everyone why he’s their Captain, “Well I’m sure she’s safe, Buck. She’s bright, she’ll have gotten out by now.”

Stomach churning, Bucky gulps his nerves down. He glances at Nat when she pats his shoulder before turning back to see Sam nod, his eyes silently telling Bucky to pull it together, that now is not the time to lose it.

‘Pullin’ up!” Clint calls and the truck rolls to a stop, parking just behind Chief Fury’s car, who is already taking command of the scene and ordering around the first and only other squad to have arrived yet.

The world is a blur as Bucky glides through the scattered crowd to reach Fury, his words tumbling out of his mouth before he’s even within hearing range.

“Take a breath. What is it?” Fury says.

“I- I think my- this is my- I live here and-“

“I said take a breath, Barnes.” The chief interrupts him, placing a hand on Bucky’s shoulder to ground him. He’s never seen Bucky like this before, not since… not since the fire that haunts his dreams.

“Chief, this is my place.” The brunette speaks clearly now. “I think my girl is in there.”

“Okay.” Fury nods and squeezes Bucky’s shoulder reassuringly. “Search the crowds, see if she’s with any of the other residents. And keep me updated!” He calls after Bucky who’s already rushing to the clusters of people across the road.

Face after face flashes by but none of them bare the eyes of the girl he’d give his life for. The weight in his chest grows heavier and heavier as he runs out of people to check and finds himself at the fire exit of the building’s main staircase where the others have already headed inside.

“She’s not here, Sam!” Bucky shouts at his crewmate who’s guiding a few stragglers out the exit.

“It’s okay, there’s still people evacuating, she’ll get out. Just help me for a sec, Nat said she heard kids coming through!”

Bucky turns to the dwindling stream of people stumbling out the fire exit; he takes a breathe and scans the residents passing by, asking if anyone’s seen you but it’s like talking to a brick wall. Everyone is too consumed by their own worries to care about a girl they don’t know.

He goes to head back to Fury when he recognises the woman who lives across the hall from you, her two little girls clutching onto her for dear life as they stagger through the doors.

“Cassie! Hey, Cassie!” He bellows over the commotion, running to take her eldest daughter off her hands and usher them to the medics.

“Oh my god, Bucky!” She sighs in relief at the friendly face. “Thank goodness, it’s- it’s getting really b-bad in there.” She says, spluttering through her words while Sam stands at her side.

“Yeah I know, look, have you seen Y/n? I can’t find her.”

“Yeah she helped me carry the girls down!”

Bucky’s eyes widen, head snapping behind him to search for any sign of her. “Then where is she?”

“Well we reached the doors and she handed me Maya and said she had to go back for something and ran off.” His heart drops. “I’m sorry, Bucky, I didn’t get chance to tell her not to go.”

Sheer terror controls his body and he’s storming over to Fury before she’s finished her apology, not willing to waste any more time to get his girl. Sam thanks Cassie and trails after him till they’re in front of the Chief.

“Fury, Y/n’s still in there. Let me get her, please!”

“Okay, Sam go with him. You’ve got five minutes before I pull my men out of there, this thing’s gonna blow soon.”

“Yes, sir.” They both call as they pull their masks on while they run. Bucky swears, he’s never put his kit on so quickly in his life, but the smoke pouring out the fire exit doors is growing thicker and thicker by the second, and you’re in the middle of it.

2:38 PM

The show you’re watching has long since been forgotten, your mind wandering to the dreams your neighbour is so keen to reenact. Bucky’s promise to make up for his absence ignites the same fire you felt last night. That, and every other night you’ve had your fingers knuckle deep in your pussy thinking of him.

You’re reminded of one specific dream - the one you had the night he was sent home from work - where you’d broken into his apartment for ice cream; picturing his place next door has you sat upright, suddenly remembering that Alpine is probably sat in his apartment waiting for him to come home. That poor cat won’t have seen him since you invited him over last night.

Hoping she doesn’t resent you for stealing Bucky for the night, you grab his spare key from your side table and rush to check on the little white ball of fur. The familiar scent swarms you as you step inside his apartment, quickly heading to the kitchen to find Alpine.

You take a photo of Bucky’s kitchen, complete with Alpine’s little head popping out from above the fridge, and send it to him.

You: Really shouldn’t have given me a spare key, Barnes

James: Don’t even think about eating my donuts

Sure enough, a box of donuts sits on his counter top and it makes you laugh that the only thing that’s worried him about you letting yourself in, is that you’ll steal his food. God, he’s perfect.

You: You’re a firefighter, not a cop!

James: Didn’t know the donut police was out, my bad

You giggle before hearing the pitter patter of paws jumping from the fridge to the kitchen island wear she snuggles up to your torso and purrs.

“Hey, girl. Sorry for stealing James for the night.”

Alpine meows beneath your light scratches and you grin, “I’ll take that as a sign of forgiveness, Alps.”

Her cuteness has you getting your camera out to take a photo of the two of you, cuddled up together on the island.

You: Cute security guard you got here

Unbeknownst to you, Bucky’s heart is melting in the middle of the firehouse common room, so much so that he doesn’t even bother with a jokey reply.

James: My girls ❤️

Unbeknownst to Bucky, your heart is melting in the middle of his goddamn kitchen, so much so that Alpine might need to call 911.

James: Fuck I can’t wait to come home to you

You blush like crazy at the second text.

You: You do have some making up to do, Barnes

James: Yes, Ma’am!

You: Oh, and also, you might wanna pick up some more donuts on the way home ;)

You send before stretching to grab one from the box, quickly taking a photo of you biting into one and sending that too.

James: Knew I shouldn’t have given you that key

You’ve done this before, you know what you’re doing. You’ve done this before, you know what you’re doing. You’ve done this before, you know-

“Shut up, man! You’re wastin’ your breath.” Sam shouts.

“What?”

“Quit your ramblin’ we got work to do!”

Not realising he’d been talking out loud, Bucky frowns beneath the polycarbonate of his mask, a movement Sam has no chance of seeing in their current environment.

Air thick with smoke, the pair race through the plumes as fast as their legs will carry them; you’re up there, they both know it, and there’s no time to waste.

The ring of the fire alarm has long since faded by the time Bucky bursts through the door of the fourth floor, Sam close on his tail. If they thought the stairwell was bad, this corridor is hell on earth. Visibility is a distant memory in here, smoke so heavy and black that their flashlights reflect straight back at them. The only sign that they’re actually moving is the distant, faint orange glow growing stronger with each step and the heat crawling further beneath their gear.

“Fucking Garvey.” He grumbles, realising the broken sprinklers are the cause of this state.

Bucky turns behind him to face Sam. “You clear this room, I’ll do Y/n’s!”

“On it!”

The pair split up as Sam kicks down one door and Bucky heads to yours, only a few feet further ahead. Turning his back to the door, he lifts his right knee and fires his boot backward, successfully cracking it open for him to push inside.

The smoke isn’t so bad in here and Bucky gets to work quickly, jogging over to your kitchen when he doesn’t see you at the living area.

“Y/n, call out!” Bucky bellows, his mask slightly muffling his words. You don’t answer, so Bucky starts slamming open any and all doors in the apartment in the hope that you just can’t hear him.

“Y/n! Where are you?” Your bathroom is empty and he moves to your bedroom. “Call out, Y/n!”

No answer. Goddamn it, sweets.

Panic rises in his chest when he sees your empty bowl of cereal on the coffee table, a show still playing on the TV.

Bucky tries his luck shouting once more, “Firefighter, call out!”

The only sound to respond is the billowing flames down the hall, wood crackling beneath the heat.

“Please, baby, where are you?” He knows he’s talking to himself at this point and it terrifies him. Biting back a strangled yell, Bucky clenches his eyes shut in attempt to ground himself.

When he opens them, he starts scanning the room for any sign of where you’ve gone. The bowl of cereal, your missing slippers, keys on your side table, no phone anywhere, lamps still-

Wait.

The keys. There’s one missing. His spare.

It dawns on him then, and his heart drops, knowing exactly where you are.

Alpine. You went back for Alpine.

4:29PM

Your blood runs cold when you’re woken by thudding at your door, a muffled cry of your name seeping through its cracks. With a racing heart, you toss your blanket off your sweat-ridden body and rush to your feet, mind trailing behind you while you run to the door.

“Just a sec!” You call out, desperately trying to piece together what’s happening as you approach the door. You slide the lock free, swing the door open and frown.

It’s Cassie, the young mom who lives in the apartment opposite with her two little girls; her head is turned over her shoulder and she’s shouting. You follow her line of sight to find who you guess to be her eldest daughter, Grace, peering through their front door - you can’t tell for sure, you’re still waking up and things are a little foggy. Very foggy, actually.

Having babysat for Cassie a few times, you panic that you’ve forgotten you’re doing so today. “Hey, Cass-“

“Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

“What?” You murmur, sleep still clutching onto you for dear life, and your frown deepens.

“Are you okay? Please- I-“

“Yes, Cassie, I’m fine.” You interrupt her and place your hands on her upper arms, trying to ground her. “What’s going on?”

“There’s a fire!” She points down the corridor and your attention follows. “I don’t know when it started, I- I was in the bathroom with Maya- I don’t know! I just- there was smoke coming in and- and…”

The confusion racking your brain turns to panic while a coldness soaks your body from head to toe, fear settling into every inch of you. Fire. Smoke. Heat. Everything clicks like a series of switches. The fog you thought was remnants of sleep is actually thick grey smoke - that’s why you couldn’t tell which daughter it was. In fact, that’s why Cassie was screaming, she was trying to get Grace back inside. Raising a hand to your forehead, you swipe beaded droplets of sweat off your brow and recall how warm the door’s lock and handle felt beneath your fingers.

“… hitting the fire alarm but it’s not working so the sprinklers won’t come on and-“

“Okay, hey, it’s okay!” You comfort the frantic mother and scan the hallway as you gradually come back to the present.

“Have you tried the fire alarm?”

“Yes! Yes! I tried but it’s broken, it won’t start!”

“Fuck,” You whisper, mentally damning Mr Garvey for his shit-ass death trap of a building.

Cassie starts coughing heavily so you reach to her top and lift the collar till the cloth covers her nose and mouth. With consciousness finally returning fully, you close your door behind you and guide Cassie back to her apartment.

Inside, her daughters sit crammed into the corner of the kitchen, clutching onto each other tightly. You hash a plan out with Cassie before sending her to get cloths and soak them in cold water for you all to put over your faces. The smoke in her apartment isn’t too bad, but you’ll need them for when you leave.

You jog over to the window and look out just in time to catch Chief Fury jumping out of his car, barking orders down a radio, and scanning the scene. Relieved that someone’s already called for 911, a sigh of relief tumbles from your lips and your eyes close briefly. Smoke scratches at the back of your throat, sparking a heavy coughing fit that leaves you breathless; when you realise you’re not the only one coughing, you turn back to the girls who are still sat in the kitchen.

“Hey, girls, come here!” You call, rushing back to the kitchen to guide them to the window where you pick Maya up and place her on your hip so she can see outside. “See that man there?” You point to Chief Fury, “He works with Bucky. They’re gonna stop the fire for us and make sure we get out safe.”

There’s little time for the girls to celebrate before Cassie returns with wet tea towels and jumpers. Together, you get them wrapped up and explain what’s about to happen; unsure as to what might be happening outside, you tell them to keep their eyes closed and their tea towels over their mouths and nose until their mom says otherwise.

With Grace on your back, you turn to Cassie with a reassuring smile. “It’s not far to the stairwell, they’ll be okay, I promise.”

She nods and adjusts Maya on her hip before pressing loving kisses to the girl’s heads. Using Bucky’s henley to cover the now hot metal door handle, you push it down and open the door for your neighbour to walk through.

The hallway is already darker and hotter than just minutes ago, the billowing black smoke rushing to your eyes and making them burn. Aside from the faint orange glow to your left, there’s little visibility, but you know where to go. You hike Grace up your back further and step out behind Cassie, tea towel clamped tightly over your mouth.

“Nearly there!” You bellow, voice barely breaking past your masked mouth. Come on, come on, come on… you whisper to yourself as your feet carry you step by step closer to safety. Finally, you reach the doors to the stairwell and nearly crash into the back of Cassie since you can hardly see her.

Carrying the girls, the pair of you slip through the door and hurry down the stairs. You’re 4 stories up so you count each floor as you go, keeping track of where you are. Turns out, the alarms and sprinklers are working on every floor but your own. Fuck you, Mr Garvey.

“Y/n! Wait! Y/n!” Grace calls from behind you and you rake our neck to look at her, realising then why she’s trying to stop you. “I dropped my towel!”

Without thinking twice, you tear yours from your face and press it to her mouth knowing there’s no time to be searching for hers. You keep going and catch up to Cassie before she even reaches the first floor. As your throat starts stinging again and your thighs begin to burn, you remind yourself that it’s not long until you’re outside in smoke free air.

“One more floor!”

“Yep!”

Being so close to the exit has you thinking ahead, thinking about seeing Bucky and running into his arms, thinking about how worried he’ll have been for his girls, thinking about how relieved Cassie will be to-

Wait.

Bucky’s girls. There’s two of you.

It dawns on you then and your heart drops, knowing you can’t leave yet.

Alpine. You need to go back for Alpine.

Each stride closer to Bucky’s apartment turns the red flames to orange and the orange flames to yellow. Heat radiates from the apartment opposite his as flames etch their way up and out of the front door; assessing the pattern of the fire, Bucky calculates how much time they have almost as fast as he breaks down his own door.

“Y/n! Where are you!?” He bellows from the constraints of his mask, blue eyes scanning every inch of his smoke filled home for the one thing he can’t live without.

“Kitchen!”

Without even registering what you’ve said, Bucky is running to the source of your voice, gear clanging on his back as he moves.

Thick smoke swirls around him on his way, clearing enough for him to just make out your silhouette flailing away.

“Doll!” Bucky shouts, panic rising in his chest at your frantic movements. “Y/n, call out! Are you okay?”

“I’m here! Im okay!” He hears.

Finally reaching you, his hands reach for your upper arms like iron to a magnet. “Are you hurt?”

“I’m fine, James, it’s Alpine,” You’re pointing up to fridge, pausing to cough into your arm before continuing, “she’s not coming down!”

“What?” If you could hear the incredulous tone Bucky uses over the roaring fire, you show no signs of it. He can’t help but gawk at you in disbelief; you were seconds away from escaping a roaring blaze and you’re more focused on a damn cat? Do you even realise what’s happening?

“James, help me get her down!”

Your urgent order has the firefighter shaking his head free of thoughts that are better kept for later. The clock is ticking and the fire is spreading faster each second, so he jumps into action. Clambering up onto the kitchen counter, Bucky swipes his hand over the top of the fridge until the familiar white fur of his cat greets his palm.

“That’s it,” Bucky coaxes Alpine out from her hiding spot. Clearly unable to identify her owner beneath his gear, she leaps down into the safety of your arms and receives doting kisses in masse.

Bucky climbs down. “Okay. Let’s go.”

The short and sharp order has you scurrying to the front door where the heat creeps up your bare legs with haste. Over your shoulder, you hear the electronic beeps of your neighbour’s radio intermittently while he talks to Chief Fury.

A hand on your shoulder brings you to a halt. “You’ve got two minutes, Barnes.” The chief’s voice is crackling much like the fire behind the door.

“Yes, sir.” Bucky replies before turning to you, “Wait here.”

Following his orders, you wait with increasing nerve as Bucky peers behind his front door to check on the fire. For the first time today, he’s grateful the fire is loud enough to drown out his cursing of the situation; the last thing he wants is to scare you, but the flames have encompassed the door of the apartment opposite and have climbed to the ceiling of the hallway. Escaping now means baring the blaring heat with no protection for his girl to wear.

Pushing the door shut, he turns back to you. “We have to go through, it’s the safest way.”

“You want us to walk through fire? Are you serious?” The light quiver of your chin tells Bucky you’re more scared than you care to let on. “What about the windows? Can’t we-“

“No, doll. There’s not enough time to get the truck round this side of the building. I’d give you my mask but we have don’t have time. We have go this way.”

You’re shaking your head as he speaks, nerves racking your body like a virus and you subconsciously clutch Alpine tighter to your chest for comfort. Bucky steps closer to you with reassuring eyes, hoping the closer distance will let you see him past the polycarbonate.

“Hey, you trusted me when we got stuck in the lift and we got out without a scratch. I’m asking you to trust me again, sweets. Let me get you out of here, please?”

Battling through his mask, the desperation laced beneath his tone is enough to turn your shaking head into a nod. From that point on, you’re a passenger in your own body.

Instructions to keep your face covered, to hand over Alpine despite her meows in contest and that under no circumstances should you ever let go of Bucky’s hand. Numerous checks that you understand what he’s saying, followed my numerous recitals of his rules right back at him.

There’s no way of knowing how you managed to remember those rules, let alone abide by them, when your mind has been on autopilot for the last few minutes.

You know it’s time to go when you feel two squeezes on your right hand: Bucky’s signal. What follows is a blur of black and orange, hot and cold. Bucky covers you from the fire and leads you out to the stairwell where he tucks you into his side. You run down each flight of stairs until you burst into the chaos outside.

Bucky rips his mask and helmet off and shouts for a medic, his arm never leaving your shoulders as though there’s still a fire he needs to protect you from.

A paramedic who Bucky called ‘Pepper’ rushes over and reaches to hold you herself before realising she’ll need to fight Bucky to do so. Knowing that’s a battle not worth fighting, she guides you both to the back of an ambulance across the road.

On your way, a familiar face breaks through the hustle and bustle with relief etched across his features. Steve pats your shoulder in support when Bucky speaks up.

“Steve, can I-“

“Go be with her, Buck.” He says firmly like it’s obvious, earning a single, though grateful, nod in return.

For the past twenty minutes, you’ve watched the world fly past you; left and right, high and low, there’s something happening everywhere as the Fire Department work to put out the blaze and move people to safety. With the sun dipping behind the city skyline, the damage to Mr Garvey’s building fades away as night draws in. He’s yet to make an appearance, Mr Garvey, though you doubt he’s jumping at the opportunity to face his tenants, let alone the burly firefighters that litter the lawn.

It’s fair to say the crew are pissed. Sure, a lazy landlord running a beat-up, hazardous complex would rile them up any day of the week - but when that complex is home to ‘two of their own’ as Nat put it? Well, the only thing holding them back is Chief Fury’s stern warning to do things by the book. Though he did order a drive by for Mr Garvey once they figure out where he lives.

While seemingly everyone in sight is busy helping out, you sit perched on the back steps of an ambulance, accompanied by a sleepy Alpine and a grumpy Bucky. He’s long since forgone the fire jacket, clad just in a navy t-shirt and suspenders holding up his fire pants.

The rhythmic hum of the oxygen machine behind you is driving you crazy, but a certain firefighter isn’t keen on you taking your mask off just yet. You wonder if he’ll ever let you take it off.

A clanging in the distance awakens Alpine enough for her to relocate; the soft white cat clambers into your lap and curls up before going straight back to sleep. Unfortunately for you, the damn oxygen mask is getting in the way of everything, and you can’t see past it to watch Alpine.

“What are you doing?” Bucky asks, his tone just as flat as it’s been since you escaped the building, as you tug the plastic from your face.

“It’s annoying, Sarge. And fucking uncomfortable.“

Blue eyes barely glancing at you, your neighbour’s face remains stoic and cold. He finds you calling him ‘Sarge’ pretty damn annoying, even if his dick thinks otherwise; ever since you clocked on to people addressing him by his title, you’ve being teasing him, but the name has slowly turned sour on your lips the longer he acts so coldly toward you.

“It’s not meant to feel like a spa treatment, put it back on.”

You roll your eyes, not that he’d notice. “I don’t even need it anymore!” You’re sick of being treated like a child by the man who was tongue deep in your cunt just under 24 hours ago.

For the first time in a while, he finally tears his gaze from the lawn down to your defeated state and uncrosses his arms. As he leans closer, you think for a moment that he’s finally going to touch you, to hold you and tell you everything’s okay. Instead, he reaches over you and snatches the mask from your side, just to hold it up to your face.

“Banner said you do, so you’re wearing it, okay?” He all but spits. You hold his stony glare and pray that your lip won’t tremor like it always does when you’re upset. The coldness of his stare saps the warmth from your chest, replacing it with a pit of indignation that’s growing with every passing moment.

“Why are you being like this, James?” The mellow tone you didn’t even know you could use slips by, a far cry from the cruelness of Bucky’s, and you watch as he straightens up and turns away. “You- you can’t even look at me! You won’t touch me, you order me around like I’m-“

He scoffs. He literally scoffs in your face.

“Are you serious? You’re acting like a child, James.”

“Oh, and you’re not?!” His attention is back on you now and you flinch at the sudden change in dynamic.

“What the fuck does that-“

“Hey, guys!”

Steve appears from behind the ambulance door and leans down to hug you. Your eyes are stuck on Bucky, who’s resorted to turning his back to you as if that’s going to fix this.

“How are you feeling, Y/n?” The captain asks, a hand lingering comfortingly on your shoulder as you fight to pull your eyes away from your neighbour.

“Uhh yeah,” You shake your head slightly and look up at Steve with a smile, “yeah I’m feeling better, thank you.”

Though he chooses not to comment on it, he sees how your smile doesn’t reach your eyes. “That’s great, I’m real glad you’re alright, Y/n. You want me to switch the oxygen off if you’re not needing it anymore?”

In the corner of your eye, Bucky’s back clenches taut and he stills. The conflict between sticking up for yourself and giving in to Bucky plays out like a musical in your mind, each side tugging you to and from at a rate of knots. But the tension between you and the firefighter isn’t enough for you to lose yourself; deep down, you know you’ve done nothing wrong and you certainly don’t owe Bucky anything after the way he’s treated you.

You look up at Steve with a confidence that both you and Bucky are surprised by. “That would be great, thanks, Cap.”

With a quick, questioning glance at the brooding firefighter in the corner, Steve turns off the machine and steps back after a quick pat on Alpine’s head.

“Do you mind if I steal Buck for a minute?” Steve asks.

“Go for it.”

After a grateful smile, Steve grabs his best friend’s arm and drags him away, leaving you with a frown and a sleeping cat.

Their footsteps fade away as they walk out of ear shot and you’re forced to try your hand at lip reading. It doesn’t take long before you realise there’s no chance in hell you’re going to figure out what Steve is saying, quite sternly, might you add.

“Cut her some slack, Buck. She was trying to do the right thing.”

The brunette scoffs, “She was trying to get herself killed.”

“Look me in the eye and tell me you wouldn’t have done the same damn thing.”

“It’s different,” Bucky grumbles, shaking his head.

“Is it?”

“I’m a firefighter, Steve! I know what to do in that situation.”

Armed with a raised brow, the captain cocks his head slightly. “So you’re telling me if you had no training, no protection, you wouldn’t run into a burning building to save her?”

For a moment, Steve thinks he’s gotten through to his best friend, and that maybe, Bucky’s finally seeing some sense. But then Bucky reminds him exactly why he had to pull him over for a “chat” in the first place.

“She went back for Alps.”

“Have you thought that maybe she went back for you!?” Steves voice raises as his tone sharpens and Bucky’s confused ‘what?’ only fuels the fire burning in his chest.

“She knows how much you love that cat. Seems to me like she saved Alpine for you, Buck.”

Having learnt to not get ahead of himself, Steve waits for yet another snarky remark. Instead, he watches his friend look over his shoulder to your place in the back of the ambulance. Banner is in the process of taking your blood pressure while Nat makes you and Pepper laugh by playing with Alpine; the sight has a warmth growing in Bucky’s chest, and he wishes more than anything that Steve hadn’t dragged him away so far so he could hear your laughter.

As though you can feel his gaze, you lift your head and lock eyes with your neighbour, unknowingly causing his breath to catch at the back of his throat. And then you smile at him, tired and meek but beautiful nonetheless, and it nearly has him on his knees, begging for forgiveness for treating you so cruelly.

Yet he remains cold and stoic, his face contorting to one even more scorning than before. Because you were minutes away from not making it out of there, and now you’re laughing with his crew mates like he didn’t nearly lose you.

The infamous Tony Stark left Firehouse 107 years ago, yet you’ve heard his name more than you could count. He’s practically an urban legend to you at this point; even now as you scurry around the kitchen of one of his many properties that his own wife Pepper lent yoy, you’re not 100% certain he actually exists.

“Girl, I can’t believe you get to live here!” Sophie, your manager, rounds the corner of the hallway just as you glance over your shoulder.

“Yeah having my apartment burn down was totally worth it.”

You don’t mean for your tone to be a sharp as it is, nor as hostile, but you can’t help it. The aftermath of today’s events has left a sour taste in your mouth, but it’s the cold shoulder from Bucky that’s left you feeling hollow.

Sophie’s face drops, features twisting into one of regret and pity. You both fight over each other to apologise first and the heavy weight on your shoulders lifts lightly when you both laugh a little.

“That was a shitty thing to say, I’m sorry.” She comes over and pulls you into a hug.

“No, I shouldn’t have been a bitch about it, Soph.” You murmur into her shoulder, grateful for the comforting embrace after receiving nothing from the one person you’ve needed it from the most.

Pulling back, Sophie rests her hands on your shoulders. “I think you get a pass for today, hun. Are you sure you don’t want me to stay with you tonight?”

You immediately shake your head. “Absolutely not. You’ve got a big day tomorrow and you need your beauty sleep.”

A few weeks ago, Sophie was nominated for the local small-business owners award and the prize giving is tomorrow. The last thing you need is to feel guilty for keeping her from such a momentous event.

“Only if you’re sure, I can-“

“Nope. You’re going, that’s final.” You cut her off with a reassuring smile and place your own hands on her shoulders to steer her to the door. “Like you said, this place is a dream. I think i’ll manage just fine!”

After a warm goodbye and another attempt to change your mind (and even more assurance that you’d survive the night alone), your boss heads out.

It’s quiet now; Stark’s swanky apartment is so high up that you can barely hear the hustle and bustle of the street below, a stark contrast (pun intended) to the paper thin walls of your old apartment.

Old apartment. Only been here 4 hours and you’re already along it the old apartment.

You turn on your heel and face your new home for the next few weeks, still taken aback by the shininess of everything. The plush ivory couch is spotless, the shelves of the fridge don’t bear a single crumb, you even had to peel the protective film off the damn shower head earlier. Everything is perfect. Everything should be perfect.

But it’s not. Not without him.

You’d take back the broken elevator and shitty water pressure in a heartbeat if it meant you got Bucky back too. Instead, you’re left with this incredible apartment and no one to share it with, not even Alpine.

Without noticing it, enough time passes by while you stare at the untouched home before you that it’s now dark enough for lamps to be turned on. You stumble around in the darkness for any switches you can find, eventually finding and turning on a lamp that you’re sure costs more than your whole ‘old apartment’.

One after the other, you light up the apartment enough to find your way to the fridge where you scour through the groceries Sophie collected for you, desperate for a drink to numb the pain.

Smiling weakly at the cakes she must’ve snuck in, a knock at the front door snatches your attention.

You hurry to the door, though you underestimate how long it takes to cross the width of the apartment, and prepare to remind your excessively concerned friend that you’ll be perfectly fine on your own for the night.

“Sophie,” You begin, swinging the door open with a sigh, “I’m starting to feel insulted at how- oh…“ oh. oh.

“Hey,” Bucky says, a hand stretched behind him to rub the back of his neck. His eyes are tired and lifeless, but at least they’re lacking the venom they possessed just hours ago.

“Bucky, what are you doing here?”

Your questions takes him aback, like he never once considered you wouldn’t blindly open your new home to him, offer him a beer and give him free rein of the tv. Of course, he didn’t expect that, but he didn’t expect this either.

“I’m ‘Bucky’ now?”

Your eyes drop to the floor. “James. I’m sorry, I meant James.”

The timid nature of your response has the firefighter cursing himself for trying to be funny. Instead, he made you feel like you have to please him, to call him James just because he said so.

“No, it’s-“ Bucky takes a breath trying to settle the rising frustration at how difficult it is for you two to talk normally when it used to come to you like breathing. “I didn’t mean to sound like that. I came to see how you’re doing?”

The softness of his voice has your head lifting, eyes meeting his to search for the warmth that you yearn for so dearly.

“I’m okay. Are you?”

“Can I come in?” Bucky asks, dodging your question like a hitter ducking from the first baseman’s glove.

You reply by stepping to the side, allowing your neighbour to slip past you.

“Nice place.”

‘Nice place’, Buck? Really? That’s what you’re gonna open with?

“Thanks.”

‘Thanks’, Y/n? Really? What, did you build it yourself or something?

The awkwardness between you is unsettling in itself and you have to physically shake your head to try and rid yourself of the feeling.

The firefighter’s eyes fall to your body and his brows draw closer. You look down at yourself and back at Bucky’s confused face when you put two and two together.

“They’re Sophie’s,” You run the hem of your- her -shirt between your thumb and forefinger, “she dropped them off with some other stuff to get me through the next couple days.”

Getting nothing in response, you walk to the kitchen where you resume your search for a drink. Your boss bought pretty much everything at the grocery store, but unfortunately for you, she must have skipped the alcohol aisle. You settle for a glass of water, a far cry from the kind of drink you need to get you through this interaction, but it’ll have to do.

“Do you want a drink?” You call over your shoulder as you pour yourself a glass. If it weren’t for his reflection in the tall, remarkably clean windows, you’d never even know there was someone in the room.

“The options are water or water?”

Receiving nothing but silence yet again, you pour a second glass. “Water it is.” The dead silence burns as you return the water jug to the fridge where your eyes fall upon the cakes Sophie brought. “Oh! And cakes from the café too. Soph got the cookies you really like, would you like one?”

Silence.

“I’ll take that as a-“

“What were you thinking?”

You freeze, part way through shutting the fridge door, and while you know exactly what he said, his words echoing through your mind, you ask him to repeat himself.

“I’m sorry?”

“What were you thinking, Y/n? Going back for Alpine?!” His words flow out faster than he can pronounce them, the damn holding back his emotions finally collapses.

You slam the door shut, glass bottles rattling away as you speak, “I couldn’t leave when I knew she was trapped and there was a fire across the hall!”

Bucky throws his hands in the air. “Do you not trust us to do our jobs, Y/n?” He yells. “It’s what we do! We would’ve gotten her out- I would’ve gotten her out!”

“Put yourself in my shoes, James, there was a fire and I panicked and I did what I felt was right. If that meant not waiting for you then that’s what I was gonna do.”

You hadn’t even realised you’ve been stepping toward your neighbour, closing the distance between you till only a few feet separates you. Bucky’s eyes are frantic, yours are cold as steel and the air between you is so charged that your hands are shaking; with a clenched jaw, you try to steady your breathing while Bucky steps back to pace across the room with his hands raking through his hair.

“I can’t-“ His hands drop to the base of his neck where he needs the skin in his fists. “I can’t believe you were stupid enough to run back into a burning building for a cat that’s not even yours!”

You son of a bitch.

“That’s not fair, I love her too!” You cry, only to flinch when Bucky turns back to you with tears in his eyes.

“Well, I love you!!” He bellows, voice breaking at the end. “Who looks after you, huh?! Who comes to save you when you get trapped?”

You mumble a ‘what?’ but you’re drowned out by his words and the weight they possess.

“How are you not seein’ this, doll? This isn’t about Alps, it’s about you.” You frown, gaze jumping between those captivating blue eyes in disarray. “It’s about you putting yourself in danger to save something that is not your responsibility.”

“But I-“

“Don’t.” Bucky warns. “Whether you feel inclined to or not, you are not responsible for keeping her safe, I am. And that- fuck- that means you stayed in a fire to do something that’s my job. I should be the only one who needs to go into danger to protect her but I wasn’t there so you did it.”

“James-“

“You could’ve gotten yourself killed over something that’s my fault-

“James!-“

“It’s my fault you ended up in there, doll, so if you got hurt then that-“

You grab his face in your hands and press your lips to his, grounding him with your touch. The rooms spins around you as you work to slow his descent down a rabbit hole of guilt, lips moving against his even though his remain still. If your eyes were open, you’re sure you’d find his hands still in the air, but you don’t pay any mind to that; you’re only focus is on showing him you love him too, that you’re safe and he doesn’t need to blame himself for a damn thing.

You don’t know how long it takes, but at some point along the line, Bucky’s arms wrap around your waist, pinning you to his chest while he finally kisses you back.

The salty taste of shared tears greet your tongue as your lips dance against his. Your hands travel from his cheeks to his hair, tugging at his roots till his lips part in a gasp. You take the chance to tease your muscle against his, moaning at the feeling.

“I’m sorry, baby, I’m so sorry,” You breathe between kisses, “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Bucky shakes his head as much as you’ll let him with your tongue still tangled with his.

“No, it’s my fault, I should’ve been there.”

You pull back with tearful eyes. “You couldn’t have known.”

“Not the fire.” He murmurs, eyes clenching shut as he tugs one of your hands to his mouth, presses a doting kiss to your palm. “For everything after it. I just- I couldn’t understand why you did it, doll. And that’s not an excuse, I don’t mean it like that- there’s no excuse for it but I was so scared and confused and-“

“Angry that I went back.” You finish his sentence for him, as painful as it is to admit. “I know, honey, I know I scared you, I’m sorry.”

“No. Don’t apologise, you did nothing wrong, I need you to know that.” Bucky looks into your eyes with such intensity that you feel it in your chest. When he clenches his eyes shut and he somehow holds you even tighter than before, you brace for the question you know is coming. “But why, darling? Why would you go back? I don’t understand.”

He’s almost sobbing now, forehead rattling against yours as he fights back the tears he’s been withholding all day.

But you didn’t know why, truly. All day you’ve tried to figure out what happened to you, what possessed you to do what you did. But then Bucky, your James, turned up on your doorstep 5 minutes ago and it all made sense.

“Because I love you, too.”

His eyes snap open and a look of what you can only describe as disbelief. “Fuck, you do?”

You breathe a laugh, “More than anything.”

Before you know it, his lips are back on yours and he’s kissing you with a passion you’ve never felt before. It’s different this time, this kiss, it’s like you’ve submitted yourselves to the love you have for one another and everything feels so different but so so good.

But that feeling is stripped from you like a rug being swept from beneath your feet because he’s pulling back with conflict laced beneath his gaze. “That’s why you went back?”

You nod sheepishly, tears trailing down your cheeks.

“You’re killing me, you know that?” The firefighter says, words coming out strained like he’s still holding back.

“I didn’t mean to, James,” You bundle up his t-shirt in your firsts, “I’m sorry.”

Bucky cradles your head to his chest, holding you so close to him that his heart beat reverberates into your chest. He presses a kiss to the top of your head while you tighten your hold around his waist. “I know you didn’t, doll.”

You can feel his chest tightening each time he tries to continue and gently urge him to continue. “But…?”

Bucky’s small laugh is muffled by your hair and he pulls back slightly to hold your face in his hands.

“But,” He smiles softly, eyes baring into yours, “I need you to find a different way to love me. One that doesn’t have you running into burning buildings.”

You frown with your lip between your teeth. “What if I moved in with you and Alps? Then we wouldn’t have this problem!”

“You want to move in together?” Your neighbour is taken aback by the idea.

You go to nod proudly but it only takes a second for Bucky to snap back to reality and escape the clutches of your desperate attempt to change the subject.

“No, don’t answer that.” He warns. “That’s not what we’re discussing.”

“Well technically it is…”

“No it’s not. We’re not- I can’t-“

“You don’t wanna live with me?” You tilt your head to the side with a look like a scorned puppy.

Bucky’s quick to fall victim to your tricks yet again; he leans in and presses sweet kisses to your lips while replying. “Of course I want to live with you, I wanna do everything with you-“

“There we go then, problem solved!” You grin with a mischievous glint in your eye and watch as Bucky frowns in complete confusion.

“What? No! No, problem very much not solved!”

“I think it would-“

“Doll, I don’t give a damn what the living situation is - you can’t put yourself in danger for me.” His tone is leaving little to no room for argument. Little to no room…

“But-“

“No buts, Y/n.” Bucky stops you before you can work your magic on him again. “I love Alpine and i’d be sad if anything happened to her but i’d live. But you?” His voice cracks and he’s closing his eyes to hold back any more tears. “If I lost you I- I don’t think i’d be able to go on. You’re everything to me. I’d sacrifice the world to keep you safe and that means that you can’t go running into burning building or jumping in front of bullets- I don’t even want you drinking your coffee too quickly after I made it cause you might burn your tongue!”

You giggle and lean into his palm.

“You’re my priority, sweets. I need you safe and healthy, so I can’t have you being reckless like you were today. It’s you before everything, okay?”

You nod, and you mean it this time, though Bucky’s not convinced.

“See you’re nodding but I feel like you’re not getting it.”

With a laugh, you pat his toned chest and reach up on your toes to kiss him sweetly. “I get it, James. I’ll try not to do anything reckless going forward.” You pull back and look up at him cheekily. “Not even for your adorable pet cat who is probably tearing Steve’s apartment to shreds right now.”

Bucky’s face drops and he glares at you, though there’s a playful glint in it. Sliding his hand down your arm to catch yours before you try and return to the kitchen, he sobers up. “I need you to promise me, Y/n. Promise me you’ll never put yourself in danger for me.”

You look away as though you haven’t heard him and go to step back again and offer him an actual drink this time.

“Y/n…” He warns, tone low and gruff. “I asked you a question.”

“Technically, it was an order, not a ques-“

Bucky spins you around and pins you against the wall with your hands beside your head. If the look in his eye is anything to go by, you know you’ve successfully irked him. What can you say? After the day he’s put you through, a girl deserves a little fun.

“Quit playin’. I need you to promise me, please.” His tone is raw but firm, yet you continue to blur the line between teasing and down right psychological torture.

“And what if I don’t… sarge?”

Those blue eyes don’t stray from yours, nor does he flinch at your little attempt to claim dominance. You cock a brow at the firefighter with a growing smirk but it only takes one slight nudge of his knee between your thighs to have your confidence faltering.

Bucky leans down, nose ghosting past your ear and breath spilling down your neck. “M’not sure you’re understandin’ me, doll. I ain’t askin’.”

You don’t even think before replying, “Maybe you should.”

Bucky scoffs, “After the shit you pulled today?” He raises your hands above your head, still clamped in his tight grasp, “You’re hardly in a position to tell me what I should or shouldn’t do, sweetheart.”

“And what do you think you should do?” You ask meekly.

“I think I should teach you a lesson.” Bucky’s lust blown eyes drop to your lips. “But seeing as you don’t listen to my words, maybe you’ll listen to your sarge’s cock instead, hm?”

A whimper escapes your lips before you can clamp them shut; his lips ghost over yours as he speaks and you find yourself fighting the urge to clash your lips against his.

“M’gonna fuck some sense into you, doll face. S’only fair after everything you put me through…” You let out a breathy sound when he traces his lips down your jawline to your pulse point, eyes fluttering shut.

“James…”

You’re met with silence, but the hand replacing his lips that works to tilt your face to meet his has your eyes snapping open once more.

“Not ‘James’.”

Your frown. “Jamie?”

Bucky chuckles and shakes his head. “You’re cute when you’re confused, but no. Not ‘Jamie’…” His hand squeezes your throat, leaving you clenching around nothing. “Sarge.”

Breathe catching in your throat, your body stills completely.

“What wrong, sweets? I thought you loved callin’ me sarge.” The longer you stay silent and the wider your eyes grow, Bucky worries he’s gone too far and his gaze softens. “We can stop if-“

“Don’t stop.” You rush out. “…Sarge.”

With a growl, Bucky’s eyes nearly roll to the back of his head. “On your knees.”

You slide down the narrow gap between your neighbour and the wall, reaching to unbuckle his belt as you do.

“Ah ah ah,” Bucky tuts, hands pulling yours free of his belt, “did I say you could touch me?”

You bite your lip and shake your head no, though a raise of his brow reminds you that you’re missing something. “No, sarge.”

The corner of his lips tugs into a smirk. “Good girl. Hands at your sides.”

Sweet Jesus.

Bucky unties his belt, closely followed by the button and zip of his pants and you think it might be the hottest thing you’ve ever seen. Turns out, it’s not just you. Your neighbour is fighting the urge to roll his hips into your face with the way you’re lookin’ up at him, eyes flicking back and forth between his and the way his hands are working to free his hard length. Gulping hard, you fingers flex and curl into fists at your sides as you fight the burning desire to touch him.

“You’re a needy little thing, aren’t you? I leave you for a few hours and you’re on your knees for me in minutes.”

“Please,” you beg, thighs clenching.

“You want my cock, doll? Yeah?”

You nod quickly, dragging your eyes away from his leaking cock head to his and pleading with your eyes.

“Fuck, you look so pretty like this.” Bucky hums. He cups your cheek, tracing his pointer finger down the side of your face while his thumb tugs on your bottom lip. He groans so softly at the sight that it’s nearly drowned out by the blood rushing through your ears. “Are you comfortable, sweets?” He asks with softer features.

You whisper a yes before taking his moment of tenderness to test the waters. Dipping your head, you catch his thumb between your lips, lightly sucking on it while your tongue swirls around the tip.

“Knew that mouth was good for somethin’.”

You hold his stare and playfully bite his thumb, a small act of defiance, one that proves to be a costly mistake. The firefighter draws his thumb from your mouth instantly, a smirk toting his lips as he looks at you with disappointment.

“Play nice,” He warns as though he’s scolding a puppy, “or I can go and deal with this myself.”

Your mewl has bucky chuckling to himself.

“You don’t want that, do you baby?”

“No.” Bucky raises an expectant brow. “No, sarge.”

“Good girl.”

He presses the soft, weeping head of his cock to your lips as a reward for your obedience, heart racing as fast as his dick is throbbing when your desperate tongue reaches out to steal a taste of his pre cum off your lips.

“Go ahead, doll. Suck the tip for me.”

You don’t need to be told twice; tongue dipping beneath his cock head, you draw him into your mouth and latch your lips around him tightly. The day fades into the back of your mind like a long lost memory when you close your eyes to savour the feeling of Bucky’s weight in your tongue.

Bucky, meanwhile, can’t hold back his grunts. It’s only the tip and he already thinks he’s seeing God, his head tipped back in pleasure.

“Oh that’s it, that’s it.” He moans.

Your innocent little hums travel down his shaft and straight to his balls. The burning pleasure nearly distracts him enough for him to miss your attempt to take more of him in your mouth. Before you can even register the firefighter drawing his cock free of your warm mouth, you feel it slap across your cheek. The shaft, slick with you spit and his arousal, creates and obscene sound, one that draws a whimper from your now empty mouth.

“What did I say to you, hmm?” A calloused hand grips your chin and tilts your head up. “Tell me.”

“Suck the tip for me.” You don’t miss how pathetic you sound, but you’re drunk on Bucky’s cock and you’d do anything to have him back between your lips at this point. His intense stare smothers any confidence you thought you hand and you wait patiently for his next move.

He shakes his head, unimpressed. “And here I thought you were gonna be good for me.”

“I will!” Gosh, what are you even saying? If you weren’t so intoxicated with him, you’d cringe at how desperate you sound, how desperate you look.

Struck once again by his throbbing length, you can’t help but release a slutty moan. Seriously, you could be mistaken for a pornstar if the neighbours can hear you. They can, but who gives a fuck when you’re staring at your sarge’s dick?

“Does it turn you on when I do that?” Bucky’s head dips lower, pouting condescendingly. “Or is it the thought of taking your sarge’s whole cock down your throat that got your drippin’ onto the floor?”

Bucky notes how your fingers flex at your sides before pressing flat against your soft thighs. The anticipation is clawing at you but you know better now than to take matter into your own hands, even when Bucky takes his shaft and presses the tip to your lips, his other hand holding the back of your head.

“Come on, don’t get all shy on me now. Open up for me, doll. Open up for sarge.”

It’s like he’s toying with you now so your eyebrows pinch together while you let your jaw fall open.

“It’s okay, babydoll. Just keep those sweet eyes on me, that’s it.”

His cock slips further down your throat and by the time you figure out the catch to his sudden grace, the hand holding his cock joins the other at the back of your head and he’s snapping his hips forward.

“There it is, keep lookin’ at me.” Bucky groans, his cock hitting the back of your throat with bruising force. “I wanna see those eyes while I fuck m’girl’s throat.”

His words really aren’t warning enough for what comes next. For stroke and stroke, Bucky ruts into your mouth like you’re his personal little fleshlight, a toy whose sole purpose is to take his cum. He pauses every now and then to give you just enough time to catch your breath before he’s forcing his cock back inside.

The firefighter rambles to himself, praises and grunts reaching your ears intermittently. After all, the sound of your gags are hard to hear past.

As the shock of Bucky’s sudden dominance passes, you lean into your new role with ease; sticking your tongue out to give him free reign, bobbing your head along with his thrusts, occasionally holding your head close to the base of his shaft for seconds at a time. Every trick you know, you use.

“Argh, just like that. Making your sa-arge feel so good, doll.” He stutters through his words when you keep swirling your tongue around him, but when he looks down again and is met with your glossy eyes looking right back at him, his cock fucking twitches. “Fuck, sweets, you’re gonna make me cum!”

You moan around him, enjoying the way his brows pull closer together and his mouth curves into an ‘o’ when you do.

“Would you like that, doll? To taste me?”

Muffled by his sex, murmur a yes down his length, bobbing your head faster.

“Oh yeah, God- you’re gonna look so damn hot swallowing my cum. Might even sh-shoot some over your pretty face, take a photo for next time i’m- fuck- on a night shift.”

The insinuation that Bucky would use that photo to jerk off at the firehouse drives you to work harder. To suck harder.

“Fuck fuck fuck oh baby don’t stop. Please don’t stop, i’m so close.”

The ache in your neck begs you to ease up, but the look in Bucky’s eyes has you relaxing your throat one last time and bringing your hands up to his toned ass.

Hoping your performance will make up for disobeying him, your hands hold him closer. Bucky’s cock delves that little bit deeper down your throat and it’s enough to tip him over the edge.

“I’m gonna cum oh my fuckkkk- fuck doll, I’m cumming. I’m cumming ohh-“

Thick ropes of his seed race down your throat and you swallow around him, welcoming the salty taste. Realising you’ve not taken a breathe since he let go, Bucky tries to pull back and let you breathe, but you dig your fingernails into his ass just enough to make him hiss: a warning that he shouldn’t dare pull out.

You ignore your lungs scream for air and nurse on his cock, milking every last drop of his cum. You have no idea how you manage to stay conscious but it isn’t until Bucky’s length is soft in your mouth that you pull off him.

“There you go. Breathe, baby.” Bucky encourages, tucking your hair behind your ear as you cough and splutter for a moment. When your breath finally catches up to you, your voice is raspy and coarse.

“I promise.”

Your neighbour looks at you incredulously, his mind working overtime to figure out what it is that you’re promising until eventually, it dawns on him.

The promise that started all this. The promise not to put yourself in danger for him.

“And you decided that before or after I fucked that pretty mouth? Hmm?” He asks, his thumb tracing your cheek bone gently.

“Before I was even on my knees…”

Breathing a ‘fuck’ beneath his breath, Bucky pounces; within seconds, you’re suspended in the air and being carried bridal style down the hallway, leaving a trails of giggles and squeals in your wake.

“Last one on the right.” You share between laughs, reading you neighbour’s mind before he even has chance to ask.

Kicking the door open, Bucky carries you to the bed and places you down gently, a far cry from the rough and heavy treatment you got in the living room. You watch in a haze as he kicks off his boots and socks before he’s back on top of you.

“If you knew you’d promise beforehand, why’d ya let me keep goin’?” Bucky asks, eyes searching your own.

A knowing smile tugs at your lips and you look up at him through your lashes. “Cause I wanted you to.”

Your reply takes Bucky aback, his features contorting into one of surprise before settling back into one of awe, all while his heads shakes in what you assume to be disbelief.

“And what do you want now?” He asks with the slightest raise of his brow, waiting in anticipation for your next move.

With a brief glance at his lips, one that sends his cock jumping, you lean up to Bucky’s ear.

“I want you to do what you promised me in that note you left this morning.”

Bucky laughs, “You remember that, huh?”

You nod into his neck and kiss your way to the base of his throat. “Been thinking about your promises all day, sarge. You makin’ up for ditchin’ me for work…”

Latching your lips around the skin of his neck, you suck until it begins to bruise.

“…How you’d fuck me in your henley…”

Your lips travel north, up the ridge of his stubble covered adam’s apple, tongue trailing a bold stripe up his skin. The sensation has Bucky tipping his head back in pleasure and groaning; hearing his reaction to you never fails to make your cunt pulse, but feeling the vibrations beneath your tongue makes your cunt throb. Settling just above the peak of his adam’s apple, you bruise the skin with your lips once more.

“…maybe remake some of my dreams…”

Goosebumps rise in the wake of your touch as you tease a hand under your neighbour’s shirt, from his half buckled belt line to the muscle ridged plane between his shoulder blades.

“…oh and you’d love them, sarge.” You goad, teasing your tongue up to his ear. “You always fuck me so good in them.”

“Tell me about ‘em.”

Pulling back ever so slightly, you find Bucky’s half lidded eyes to be black, his pupils so blown wide that you wonder how on earth he’s not being blinded by the light, as dimly lit as the room is anyway.

“Well this one time, I dreamt you picked me up from work.” You hum. “You’d just gone for one of your runs, and it was hot out, so you were only wearing your shorts.”

Bucky sits back on his heels, careful not to squash your legs, and brings his hands to the hem of his shirt. Slowly, teasingly, he draws the navy fabric higher and higher until he’s freed himself from its constraints. Your blatant ogling of his chiselled torso is cut short when he leans over you once more, tendrils of hair tumbling into your face.

“Then what?” he asks, searching your eyes as though they hold the answer.

“W-well you’d left something at the firehouse, and we had to go get it. It was somewhere in your office, but while I helped look for it, I knocked an award off the shelf and it smashed in two. You made me pay you back.”

Bucky’s brows draw closer, “Well that’s not the type of dream I thought y-“

“With my mouth,” you interrupt, “on your cock.”

Lip caught between his teeth, the firefighter ruts into you, and you realise just how hard he’s gotten despite cumming down your throat less than five minutes ago.

“Sounds familiar.” Bucky drawls, eyes dropping to your lips. The ones he is now all too familiar with.

“Hmm, well seeing as we’ve already done that, why don’t you ask me what happens next?”

With bated breath, Bucky asks “What happens next, doll?”

“Well, you didn’t like that you were the only one half dressed, and you told me to take me top off.”

You watch your neighbour tug at the bottom of your top and gently slip it over your head. “Bra too?” You’re convinced you see Bucky pout when you shake your head.

“Not yet. Even with the one way glass, I got nervous that someone would see me through your office window.“

He smirks. “You weren’t nervous when you were sucking me off?”

“I wasn’t the one with my dick out for the whole firehouse to see.” You scoff. “But you wanted to prove to me that no one would see a thing.”

“How?”

“You texted Peter to come check you’d locked your office at the end of your shift, turned and faced the centre of the window, and stripped completely.” Reaching between your bodies, you push back Bucky’s jeans and boxers until he takes over and rids himself of them fully.

Eyeing up your neighbours body, bare just for you, you wet your lips and continue.

“And then you looked right at me, and starting stroking your cock.”

This time, it doesn’t take your guiding hands for Bucky to wrap a hand around his hardened length and jerk himself off.

“Fuck,” You murmur, “just like that. Looks even better like this, sarge.”

Your praise earns you a searing kiss, one that’s broken all too soon by Bucky ordering you to keep going.

“Peter walked right past the window and didn’t even flinch. Fuck, you were going so fast, I was scared he’d hear you.” Bucky responds by fucking his fist faster, and boy did the sounds your mind conjured up not do a damn bit of justice for the real thing.

Chest heaving and grunts tumbling from his lips like water from a fountain, Bucky tucked his head into the crook of your neck and began licking and sucking like his life depended on it. You bring a hand to his head, needing through his hair to distract yourself from the fact the man you love is laying on top of you and jerking off.

“Don’t stop.” He nips at the skin right beneath you ear in warning.

“Pe-Peter left after trying the door, like we weren’t even there. You pulled me in front of you and- fuck- you, um, you took my bra off and- ohh…”

Bucky releases his cock and reaches behind you to unclasp your bra. He tears it off you, and, like a man possessed, wraps his swollen lips around your left nipple and suckles on it. You moan immediately, back arching into him when you feel his throbbing length against your stomach.

“Jamie, please-“

“Don’t care if this didn’t happen in your dream, lemme suck m’doll’s tits.”

With his mouth feeling like heaven on your skin, you can’t remember anything about the dream, nor do you care to try. But it’s not long before Bucky has you dreaming about something else…

“Wanna taste your milk, sweets, gonna fuck a baby into you and suck on these full, pretty tits till I can drink from ‘em.”

Well that’s new, you think, pussy clenching around nothing at the image of your neighbour suckling on your own breasts.

He turns to love on your other boob, mumbling incoherently into your plush skin. “You like your sarge playing with your tits, doll?”

You mewl a yes when he looks up at you while continuing his assault.

“Atta girl.” He praises, “What next?”

You look down at him in bewilderment.

“In your dream, sweets. What happens next?”

“Oh…” you blush at how easily he’s distracted you. “Umm, you take my bra off and turn me around and you take my jeans and panties off.”

You faintly hear a ‘Yes Ma’am’ before you being flipping onto your stomach and having your hips lifted so Bucky can tug your jeans and panties off.

“So pretty,” Bucky swoons, “so fuckin’ pretty like this, all on show f’me. What now, sweet girl?”

You gulp, knowing what came after this, and knowing you’re finally about to get what you’ve been fantasising about ever since the damn dream itself.

“You bend me over,” He lifts you up onto your hands and knees but pushes you into the bed between you shoulder blades. “And you hold my hip with one hand, and r-run your cock through my- um-“

Stumbling over your words, Bucky leans forward until his lips brush the curve of your ear. “Through your pussy lips? Hmm?”

You nod eagerly, waiting patiently for him to follow suit. It feels like hours before a hand finds your left hip, and days before you finally feel the swollen tip of his cock delving through your folds. Hiding your whimpers into the pillow, Bucky presses lovingly kisses to the back of your neck and across your shoulders.

“Like this, baby?”

Your muffled agreement brings a smirk to his lips as he continues to rut through your sex. So consumed by the moment, Bucky doesn’t notice you reaching behind yourself to tug on his hair. The feeling surprises him enough that you hear a small gasp fall from his lips, and you take full advantage of him being off guard to push your hips back into his, at just the right point for his cock to slip inside your desperate hole.

“And then,” you pull Bucky by his hair till you’re able to look him in the eye, “you fuck me.” You say, watching as his pleasure-struck expression morphs into one of awe; the stillness of the moment leaves nothing but your tangled breathes to be heard before your neighbour’s body catches up with his thoughts, and he finally rocks into you.

It’s slower than you’d expected. Deep thrusts arrive inch by agonising inch, allowing the walls of your weeping cunt to memorising every vein of Bucky’s length. Mouth curved and brows pinched, the firefighter buries his face deeper into your neck, cries of your own name falling upon your ears like a prayer.

“So fuckin’ tight for me, doll.”

“Just-“ A moan tears through you as Bucky’s cock edges further inside your pussy, “just for you, Jamie.”

“God, you can’t say shit like that, baby. I won’t last.”

Well in that case…

“S’all yours, sarge, yours to fuck wh-whenever you want.” You drawl, enjoying the way Bucky’s hips stutter mid thrust. “Cock’s fillin’ me up so damn good, you’ve ruined me for anyone else. Only you can make me feel this good, baby.”

Spurred on by your praise, Bucky speeds up, ramming into you faster with each stroke. The searing hot pleasure has him releasing a long train of swear words, muffled by your own skin.

“You really want me to bust, don’t you? Practically begging for your sarge’s cum like a whore.”

A fresh wave of arousal rushes around his dick and the sound of his balls slapping against your folds grows louder.

“Hear that, sweets? How wet this pussy is f’me? Fuck, we sound so good together, babydoll.” Bucky grunts while fucking into you with vigour. Long gone is the slow rutting he started with, his hips now slamming into you faster than you can cope.

“I know you’re close,” Bucky murmurs, “I am too. My balls’ haven’t felt this full in my life. Gonna give you every last drop, sweets. Bet that’s what your dirty little head imagined, isn’t it?”

Words fail you and your left with nothing but whimpers to give in response, but your neighbour isn’t satisfied.

“Tell me, doll, you’re the one who wanted this, huh? Tell me how hard you came in your dreams when I filled you up with my cum.”

“Argh!” If your throat weren’t so bruised from being a fleshlight for a certain firefighter, your exclamation may have sounded like a scream. Instead, it comes out broken, tired, and laced with a burning desire to be bred. “Squirted a-all over you, sarge, it went everywhere, I- oh fuck- I’ve never cum so h-hard in my life!”

“That’s my perfect girl, gonna make you cum so hard you never have to dream of my cock ever again, okay? I’ll give it to you whenever my girl needs it.”

The knot in your belly is tightening just a step faster than Bucky’s balls are; you’re mere seconds away from giving him everything, but you wait for him to tell you that you can.

You peer over your shoulder to find him with his lip between his teeth, his eyes closed as he focuses solely on making you feel good. You watch in real time as he slides a hand around your waist and delve between your thighs, his fingers finding your clit faster than you ever have.

God, he knows you so well.

“Jamie, please, please- oh- I’m gonna cum. Please let me cum, sarge, please!” You cry, the strumming of your clit ready to send you over the edge.

“You want my permission, doll?”

“Yes! Yes, please, Jamie.”

“I’ll let you cum,” He begins, mouth drawing closer to yours as those glassy blue eyes bear into your own, “if you tell me you love me.”

“Fuck, that’s it?” You all but scoff. “That’s like asking me to breathe.”

Resting his forehead against yours, Bucky rocks his hips into yours and his eyelids flutter shut. “Just need to hear it, doll.”

With a single, love-soaked kiss, you tell him what he wants to hear. Not because you’re desperate to finally let go, but because it’s true.

“I love you, James.”

The next few minutes are a blur. You orgasm tears through you like a freight train and your sweet juices soak Bucky in just seconds. He, however, has buried himself so deep inside you that the cum shooting from his cock head hits your g-spot, and sends you tumbling into yet another orgasm.

Your ever tightening cunt grips onto Bucky like a vice, and it keeps him from pulling out. Not that he ever planned on it. He wasn’t lying when he said he’d give you every last drop.

Hot, white seed spills out around his length and onto the sheets, enough that you wonder if he ever came inside you in the first place. But while your sex’s remain fused together, as do your foreheads; Bucky never pulled back, and neither did you, the sheer need to be closer than close keeping you from parting.

Despite your sorry attempt to stay awake, Bucky whispers sweet nothings into your ear until you still beneath him. He has no intentions of forcing you to stay awake, not when he gets the honour of watching over you, to keep a close eye on your sleeping form as you rest in his hold. Eventually, once your breathing has evened out and the rise and fall of your chest has slowed, he’ll reluctantly pull himself out of your warmth and clean up any cum that’s clung to your thighs. He’ll wipe the drying beads of sweat from your brow and run his fingers through the soft but tangled hair tumbling over your shoulders. The lamps will be switched off, clothes will be folded neatly on the dresser, front door will be locked and blankets straightened and tucked in around you.

And then he’ll climb under the sheets to join his beautiful doll, the one he’d give everything for. He’ll thank the heavens you got out of that building today, but he’ll thank them more for bringing you back to him. Back to his loving arms, that he’ll wrap around you and pull you to his chest. You’ll snuggle into him, press a sleepy kiss to his bare chest, and drag him into your dreams with you.

a/n: ok ok ok i’m sorry it took like a year to get this done. most of it has been written for months, but i just couldn’t figure out how i wanted it to go when bucky turned up at her doorstep. i hope you liked it, i also hope it’s not too horny (but let’s be real, it’s a smut fest). let’s see if i actually get on with any other projects 🤭

🧡

You turned the corner, whispers and whimpers cutting through the deadly silence.

You knew exactly who it was as you walked up to his room. Bucky was wide awake.

It crossed your mind to knock or at least ask F.R.I.D.A.Y what was going on behind the door, but the fear of being shoved away verbally concerned you. It is far too dangerous not to take immediate action.

So, you turned the handle, pushing the door inside gently, the painful voice of Bucky Barnes getting clearer; he was in pain. Quietly, you closed the door, watching as Bucky stood at the window, his back to you, shoulders shaking.

There was something eerie about this situation, something very wrong. You have heard him being in internal pain before, his cries for help, someone to take the evil out of his brain, but no one could do anything but to tell him he will be alright. Those demons come out quite a lot and it is always just as painful as the last time.

You inched closer to him, whispering. “Bucky.”

His shoulders stiffened, his cries disappearing in the air with one last echo. Bucky turned and your blood ran cold.

His face glistened with tears; he must have been crying for a while. His sweater confirming it with stains. In his hand, a gun. You assumed it was loaded.

Your eyes widened, the man you have come to adore more than a friend, now stood in front of you, ready to fire that gun. “What are you doing?” You said, a little firmer this time, in need for the answer to confirm what your brain was telling you.

“Just stay away. Get out.” Bucky said, your eyes widening.

Now you could not go, even though he did not say it, you knew he wanted to point that gun to his head. You inched closer once more, trying your best to close the distance between you and Bucky, without being invasive.

He let you.

Though he was still stiff, he let you touch his wrists, keeping his hands steady where they are. You are not stronger than him, but you wanted to try.

You looked away from the gun, looking into his eyes. The red rim around them, fresh tears falling. You felt powerless. But you wanted to try.

“Please don’t.”

“Why not?” Bucky fired back.

“Because there are a lot of people here that don’t want to see you dead. A lot of friends who do not want to discover your lifeless body in the morning. And I don’t either.” You squeezed his wrists.

“I don’t care, y/n. I want out, I can’t do this anymore.” Bucky’s words turned to a whisper, almost unable to detect.

“It doesn’t matter what happened and it doesn’t matter what will happen, all that does matter is right now, Bucky. Stop being so selfish.” You knew it would hurt one way or another and you saw it in his face. “No matter what you tell yourself, there are people who care if your alive. I know you want out, but this will only inflict permanent damage to the people around you.”

Bucky closed his eyes, tilting his head up. “I don’t have a reason to stay.”

“Yes, you do. Think about all the books you have not read, the stories you have not told. Think about the family you will never have if you do this. Bucky-“ You let go of his wrists, holding his face, forcing him to look at you. “- Your life isn’t over just yet, Buck. I know it’s hard, but it’s better to feel pain than nothing at all. Me and all the others will be here for you every step of the way.”

You took the gun in your hands, slowly placing it on his desk next to you. Bucky leaned closer to you and you wrapped your arms around him, running your hand up and down his back. Both of you stood like this for a moment, embracing each other. Letting the silence wash over you and just be here.

Unwrapping your arms from his body, you took his hands in yours, leading Bucky to the on-suit bathroom.

You gestured for him to sit on the edge of the bathtub.

Once you pulled his sweater over his head he apologized, looking up at you. A sting ran through your heart, you never wanted to see someone like this, like you did a few years back. Broken to pieces, without a cure to piece them together. A hole inside your soul, taken away by years and years of pain and suffering. A time you would never get back.

You ran your hand through his hair, smiling weakly to reassure him that you were ok.

Once you fished a new sweater from the bottom drawer of his dresser, you pulled it over him. Bucky leaned his forehead on you stomach, holding you with his arms around your middle. You knew it was shame, that he was hiding from judgement.

“You decided to live tonight and that’s all that matters to me, Bucky.” You cradled his head, holding him close to you.

You held him that entire night, making sure he knew. You wanted him to know that you were present. And you were, until the morning sun broke through the night.

-

A week after that night you encouraged him to go out, to get in the crowd and meet new people. You were afraid he would dress himself with sweatpants for the rest of his life, so you helped him put on something more complementing to him.

He went to a local bar, without the whole Avenger entourage, he was almost invisible, blending in with the people around him.

That is when he met Jenna.

A woman out with her friends, celebrating her birthday. More enticing than you will ever be, you thought as you met her for the first time.

Bucky had thanked you, because without your encouragement he would not have met her.

Did you regret it? Yes. Did you feel guilty about it? Absolutely.

Why should your happiness be any more important than his?

They were happy.

-

It did not seem like a big deal, but Jenna was everywhere. Whichever turn you took, a room you entered, she was there. Sometimes sitting on Bucky’s lap, sometimes close to chest laying on the couch. The only room she did not invade was your own.

The guilt washed over you, Bucky could be incredibly happy with Jenna, possibly for the rest of his life. Is that not what you wanted than night he decided to stay?

You spend your days in your room, only coming out if you felt like facing the pain of your heard dying once more.

This was one of them, standing in the kitchen, preparing food you had no interest in eating, but knowing you eventually had to.

The hole in your stomach grew wider with every second of the day, but you could ignore it, you had spent your teenage years training for you to do so. This sandwich you prepared was sorely because Tony told you to, he always noticed when your body looked more fragile than it had a few days prior.

“Y/n!”

You turned to see Jenna walking towards you, her perfect curves agonizing you. “Jenna.” You gave the sandwich your full attention again.

“I just wanted to thank you, for moving Bucky to leave this tower. Without you, I would have never met him.”

There was a small part of you, a tiny voice echoing in your brain telling you to throw the sandwich away. “Sure, no problem.” You were glad she did not see your hands shaking or the food you had just made being thrown away as she turned and walked out.

You were happy for Bucky, but not Jenna.

-

The coffee you were holding in your hands cooled down quicker than you wanted to. Staring off to the distance, out to the city beyond the glass.

It had been exactly a month now since that night. Jenna was usually the one helping James through his nightmares while you stood outside the door, feeling useless in his life.

He smiles at you now when you pass each other by in the hallways, she seems to be good for him. But that awoke an ugly part of you, a monster you could not control. Jealousy took the best of you, manifesting itself in your mind.

As the clouds thickened, painting the sky a shade of grey, you felt your heart do the same. There was really no point in opening up about how you felt.

“Y/N!”

You turned your body to the one screaming: James.

He quickly walked over to you; anger written all over him. The other Avenger sitting in the common room turned their heads to your direction quickly.

“What the fuck is this about?” He stopped right in front of you, holding the screen of his phone to your face.

Still sitting, you read the article: Bucky Barnes, The Winter Soldier, Deals With Suicidal Thoughts.

Your shoulders dropped and so did your jaw. The article was disturbing, revealing James’ mental health issues with no problems of wild interpretations thrown in there. The breath you were trying to exhale got stuck in your throat. Never did you go to the public with this and he should know you did not. Where is this coming from?

“I- I don’t know what this is, James.” You stood from your seat.

“I’ve only told you about this, y/n! You’re the only one who knows about me wanting to kill myself!” You have seen him kill other people, but now he looks more dangerous than ever.

Tony came forward, requesting to know what this was all about. James showed him the article, all eyes on you. You felt interrogated, all you did that night was help him and now he’s accusing you of telling the world about it.

“James, I swear I didn’t say anything about that night!” There it was the monster fuelling your emotions. “Why would I do that If I too have once tried to do that myself, huh?”

“It doesn’t fucking matter if you tried to kill yourself! What matters is that you went to the public talking about my problems. You hear me? My problems!”

“You are delusional! You were so selfish to try and put a bullet in your head, not giving a shit about what everyone else would feel. News flash, James, you are not the only one with problems! You ride this self-pity train for way too long, oh poor you! No wonder half the world fucking hates you, you’re a psychopath who violently murdered people including Tony’s parents!”

Your blood was boiling to a point where you could feel your skin turn red, as if it were about to melt off your skin. Your mouth spitting words without your brain cooperating. James on the other hand looked like all the blood was strained out of his veins. Mouth agape, staring at you.

“You can stop playing your victim card, James. I didn’t say shit, psycho.” You stepped out of the room, making sure to hit his arm with your shoulder.

There was someone you needed to have a talk with, someone you had a feeling could have said something: Jenna.

It is not hard to find her; James’ room was the only place she could be at right now and you were right. You took your phone out and hit record.

“What the fuck, Jenna? Why would you tell the tabloids about B-James?”

“Jesus you scared me, y/n.” Jenna chuckled, sliding off the bed, naked. She threw on one of James’ sweaters and sat on the edge of the bed. “Just between you and I? Was good money, paid me like five grands for this information.”

Jenna smiled wickedly; you felt your face fall. You ran your hands over your face dramatically.

“Don’t be upset, y/n. Once this all blows over you can take over as his therapist again.”

As if nothing happened, nothing had been said, you smiled right back at her. “Thank you, Jenna.”

-

Wasting no time for Jenna to register what had happened or what your plan was, you sprinted down to your room, packing only the necessities, everything else you planned on taking later.

With the duffel bag in one hand and your phone in the other, you walked right back into the common room. Everyone turned silent as they heard you enter, all eyes on you. But you went straight to James.

“There, next time pay better attention to who you fuck.” You pressed play, sweat collection on your body. All eyes now to your phone, Jenna’s voice piercing through the air. You knew to James, it was poison.

As soon as the recording reached its end, you put your phone into the pocket of your jacked. James stared at the spot on the table where your phone laid, he wanted to speak, opening, and closing his mouth.

But you did not give him the chance, walking out of the room, down the halls. The voices calling after you are fading with every turn you took. Soon enough you were out of there, walking down the street.

-

Time passed quickly with the move into your friends’ apartment. The decision to leave the Avenger came easily and within a week, you were no longer apart of the group you called family. The people who you thought had your back.

Your friend Adam was shocked when you told him the news, taking you in until you could afford something of your own. It was strange, indeed. A home that is not the tower was new to you. There were not people just roaming the rooms, a person always to be found somewhere within the living quarters.

The workers below the living space, swarming out of the building were swapped with elders living below you.

But despite the heartbreak you endured, you were determined to take back your live and a night out in town sounded like the best idea at the time.

With sweaty people all around you, mind fuzzy from the alcohol and the outfit you wore showing just the right amount of what you have to offer. Something he apparently did not want. You needed to have a smoke, a habit you picked back up after leaving the team. With no need to stay healthy and in shape, the need to keep your breath for fighting, the cigarettes made its way back into your life.

You shuffled through the crowd to get a breath of fresh air. The music from inside still buzzing out on the street, you had no way of hearing the car pull up beside you. Just as you were to light your cigarette, a man called your name.

You turned to see Steve walking towards you, he did not look to pleased.

“Get in the car.” He said as he put his hand on your arm, pulling you towards the direction he wanted you to go. The cigarette that was between your fingers dropped to the floor as he whisked you away.

“No, I’m not coming with you.” Despite the protests, Steve managed to seat you in one of Tony’s cars. You knew what was coming from the buildings you passed along the way. Familiar skyscrapers and shops along the street, brought you back to the place you left well behind.

The car ride was strange. For a person you have known nearly three years, the silence appeared to depict the end of that friendship.

Steve parked outside the tower and you shook your head frantically.

“Y/n, you have no idea what you’ve done. Bucky has never been this broken before and you’re going to try to fix this.”

Even though you did not want to go into that building, Steve did not let you have a say in this matter.

You walked right behind him, your heels clicking on the floor. Steve lead you to James’ room and stood aside for you to enter.

Was there a small, ever so tiny part that felt the need to apologize? Yes. But doing it is always the hard part, admitting to yourself that you’ve done something terrible.

The knock was easy, but as James gave you permission to enter, your feet seemed to be made of cement, every step heavy.

The room was dark, curtains closed to amplify the darkness, to keep any and all light out. James laid on his bed, his back turned to you.

“Steve, leave me alone.”

You inched closer, your heels giving you away. As you reached the bed, he turned around to you, but you could not make out any of his features.

“I came here to apologize.” You said, quiet.

“Get out of my room. Now.” James went back to his previous position, his voice muffled by the duvet. “I hate you, y/n. I hate you.”

For a moment it was still and silent. The salty tears falling to the floor as you stared into the darkness. A feeling of nothingness overtook you, leaving you empty in every aspect imaginable. You inched away from the bed, taking one last look into the room, despite not seeing anything.

Closing the door behind you, Steve asked you what happened, but you could do nothing but shake your head. Steve pulled you into him, embracing you. The cries that left you, agonizing in your ears.

“Can you cry somewhere else?” James called from his room.

Your stomach dropped to the floor, your heart with it. You held tighter to Steve hoping to feel something.

You wanted to feel his embrace, his warmth.

But you felt,

Numb.

- 

Fin!

A/N pt.2: Just as a disclaimer, what the reader says to Bucky in the case of her wanting him not to commit suicide, is personal to what I have been told in that situation. That is not me saying that those words will save everyone. 

If you do have issues with any type of mental disorder, please talk about it! 

Y/N quickly raised the shot glass to her lips, slamming back the hard liquor before the rational part of her brain could talk her out of it. She could not, however, hold back the scowl on her face or the shudder that wracked her body as the tequila burned her esophagus on the way down. She placed the shot glass back on the table and immediately reached for her double spiced rum and diet soda, hoping it would prevent the tequila from making a second appearance. One of her closest friends, Natasha, gathered the three shot glasses in her hand and slid of her stool.

“That was sufficiently awful,” Natasha said, a bright grin on her face. “Another round?” Y/N nodded her head, taking another long sip from her drink as she looked over at their friend, Wanda. The younger girl’s cheeks were already flushed from the little amount of alcohol they had consumed, but she nodded nonetheless, requesting another vodka cran.

“Maybe just a single this time, Nat,” she called after her. Wanda shook her head, her long dark hair moving against her bare shoulders. “She’s not going to listen to me.” Y/N smirked as Wanda rubbed a hand over her face, before turning her attention to her friend. “Now. Are you going to tell us what’s behind this impromptu night out?” Wanda raised an eyebrow as she watched Y/N take a drink to save herself from answering the question. “Not that this wasn’t desperately needed, but we all know that Y/N L/N doesn’t go out on Friday nights.”

Y/N sighed, ducking her head before saying, “Winifred told me not to come in tomorrow.”

Wanda’s jaw dropped at Y/N’s admission. “Are you fired? Do you think she’s firing you?” Natasha arrived back at the table right at that moment, three fresh drinks in her hands.

“Wait, you got fired?” Natasha’s eyes widened in surprise, before she shrugged. “I mean, this is probably a blessing in disguise. You fucking hated that job. And that stone cold b-”

“Guys,” Y/N finally interrupted. “I didn’t get fired. At least, I don’t think she’s firing me.” She took a deep breath. “I think she’d going to promote me.”

Natasha and Wanda both looked at their friend, their expressions blank, if not a little confused. They glanced at each other quickly, before Natasha said, “wait, then why are we getting wasted?”

“You made it sound like we were drinking to forget something bad. This sounds like a celebration, Y/N!” Wanda exclaimed, her voice now adopting a more excited tone.

Y/N raked her fingers through her hair, finishing off her old drink and quickly moving on to the next one. “I know I should be excited, but damn it - I’ve been Winifred's assistant for a year now. I basically run her life. And I feel like I’m constantly working. I can’t tell you the last time I went on a vacation.” She threw her hands up. “What even is the point of working to make a living if you can’t enjoy any of it? I barely have a life now, what’s it going to be like when I have even more work to do?” Y/N dropped her shoulders as Wanda reached her small hand across the bar table to squeeze her friend’s hand. “I figured it would be nice to have a last hurrah with my best friends. Before Winifred Barnes takes over my life even more than she already has. God, I couldn’t even tell you the last time I went on a date.”

Natasha raised her drink, smirking at her friends. “To saying fuck you to Winnie Barnes tonight. To friends and alcohol and getting Y/N laid before she’s forced into a life of celibacy.”

Wanda and Y/N laughed loudly at the redhead, raising their glasses nonetheless to cheers in solidarity.

Y/N felt loose. She felt free and uninhibited and happy. Though she supposed five doubles with a few tequila shots peppered in there would do that to a girl. The bar had been empty when the girls first arrived there a few hours before, but as the clock approached midnight, more and more bodies poured in from the New York streets to take advantage of the cheap drink specials that were offered until midnight.

Wanda was in the middle of telling her girlfriends about her most recent date, some musician who called himself ‘The Vision’ - Natasha and Y/N tried their very best not to laugh in their friend’s face at that - when a large body on his way to the bar stumbled next to their table, the attached arm reaching out to brace himself on Y/N’s shoulder. Y/N let out a small yelp at the surprise intrusion. The man immediately righted himself as soon as he caught his footing and looked down at Y/N.

“Jesus, I am so sorry. Y’okay?” Y/N nodded - not even a drunk frat boy could dampen her spirits at this point - and she turned to tell the man not to worry. Her words caught in her throat when she met his bright and earnest blue eyes, his deep brown hair falling around his cheeks. His eyes were so blue - Y/N wasn’t sure if she had ever seen that shade before. Her initial thought was that they were almost a cerulean blue; though, the longer she looked, she realized there were darker flecks of something like steel or royal blue near his pupil, and a lighter ring around his entire iris that she would akin to baby blue or even sky blue. His eyes reminded her of early summer mornings at her family’s cottage and she felt an immediate sense of calm when he looked at her.

The sound of Natasha clearing her throat pulled Y/N from her own mind. That was when she realized she had been staring a little too long at this guy.

“Yeah, sorry, I spaced out for a second there.” She grinned sheepishly at the man, who returned her smile effortlessly. “I’m okay. Don’t worry about it.” He gripped her shoulder before moving on.

“Guys,” she sighed, a stupid grin on her face. “I’m in love.”

Wanda and Natasha grinned at each other, before leaning forward. Wanda’s eyes twinkled with alcohol and mischief when she said, “go buy him a drink, Y/N. Or introduce yourself. We did say tonight was about getting our girl laid.”

Y/N felt her cheeks flush at the thought of approaching her blue eyed soulmate. “I can’t.” She shook her head. That annoying, rational part of her brain was breaking through the haze caused by the alcohol; it was having her second guess the part of her that was urging her to introduce herself.

“Y/N, you are a strong and independent woman,” Natasha told her, her voice stern. “You can approach a man. You can buy him a drink, you can ask him out, you can take him home if you want to. Fuck the gender rules. Do what you want.”

Knocking back the last mouthful of her drink, Y/N nodded her head, Natasha’s quick pep talk doing exactly what she needed it to.

“You are so right, Nat. I’m gonna do it.”

Y/N stood from her stool, eyeing where the blue eyed man was standing, his broad back facing her. He appeared to laughing with an equally large friend. She squared her shoulders, bidding a “wish me luck” to her friends and walking in the direction of the bar. She took slow steps in his direction, her mind running a mile a minute -

‘Okay, okay. You can do this. Just take a deep breath and introduce yourself. The worst thing that can happen is that he’s not interested and then you can walk away knowing you tried. Oh god, what if he’s not interested. What if he doesn’t like my face? I mean, I like my face. I think it’s a decent face. No, it’s a great face. I have a great face. And a great personality. I’m funny. People like funny, don’t they? Of course they do. That’s why those Netflix comedy specials are so popular. Am I too drunk for this? Maybe I’m too drunk for this. I can walk a straight line though. It feels straight. That’s probably a good sign. Yeah, that’s definitely a good sign. You’re just drunk enough to loosen up. Have a little fun. God knows you need fun. I wonder how much he benches? He could 100% pick me up with no effort.’ -

Y/N could hear his deep voice break through her inner monologue as she approached the bar. Her soulmate’s friend - a blond with eyes not quite as blue - looked over the brunet’s shoulder, smiling as they made eye contact. She returned his warm gesture with a polite smile, immediately walking past them and making a beeline to the hallway left of the bar where the washrooms were.

‘You are an idiot.’

When Y/N pulled herself together, she left the washroom, abandoning her mission of speaking to the blue eyed man.She was just going to have to look elsewhere for a warm body to bring home tonight, one that was a little less intimidating.

She worked her way through the crowd, her arrival back to her table drawing attention from her two friends and a couple of new additions.

“Y/N!” Natasha greeted, with a broad grin. “We thought you had gotten lost.” Y/N smiled softly at her friend, her eyes darting to the tall blond and brunette that had joined their table.

“Who are your friends?” Y/N asked, pulling herself back up into her chair.

Natasha turned to the blond man, her hand resting on his forearm. “This is Steve. We work together. He’s a junior partner with Stark.” The blond man - Steve - rolled his eyes, but the grin never left his face.

“It’s not that big of a deal,” he said, sheepishly.

“Modesty isn’t a good look.” Natasha leaned forward slightly, winking discreetly at her friend as she said, “and this is Steve’s friend, Bucky.”

Y/N took a deep inhale before turning to the tall and ridiculously thick man standing far too close to her. He was smiling down at her, his eyes full of mischief. “It’s nice to meet you. Again.” Bucky chuckled at his own attempt at a joke.

She forced a chuckle, lifting a hand to meet his in a handshake. “Hi, Bucky. I’m Y/N.”

“Can I buy you a drink, Y/N?” Bucky nodded down at her empty glass. “Looks like you’re running a little low there.”

“Sure,” she said, letting out a breath. “That would be great.”

Y/N’s fingers fumbled with the keys in her hands as she tried - unsuccessfully - to unlock the front door of her apartment. The alcohol she had been drinking all night was having an obvious effect on her motor skills. The large hands roaming over her hips, her waist, her stomach, and the undersides of her breasts, and the pair of soft lips trailing along the side of her neck, weren’t doing anything to keep her focus. She let out a soft squeal when he nipped at the underside of her jaw and pushed his hands away from her.

“Okay, okay, you need to hold on.” Y/N pushed her hair away from her face, her chest rising heavily as she fought to settle her breath. “I don’t think my neighbours would like it very much if we continued this in the hallway.”

“But doll, you’re taking so long,” he complained, raising a hand to run a finger down the side of her neck. His lips quickly followed the short trail he created along her skin. “And I want to ravish you.”

A soft groan slipped from between Y/N’s lips at his words. “Okay, okay,” she relented and breathed a sigh of relief when her key slipped easily into the lock. A quick turn of her wrist opened her apartment door and Bucky’s lips were back on her.

He turned her between his palms, meeting her lips in a feverish kiss, their heavy breaths mingling. The door slammed shut behind them, with Bucky wasting no time, lowering himself to grab the backs of her thighs in his hands and lifting her from the ground. On instinct, Y/N wrapped her legs around his hips, unable to stop the moan from leaving her at his display of pure strength. Her fingers of one hand found purchase in the collar of his t-shirt while the other gripped his shoulder while he easily carried her weight.

“Bedroom,” came his gruff voice against her lips. Y/N hummed in reply, relishing in the feeling of his soft lips against hers. A moment passed without Bucky moving when she realized he had been asking her where her bedroom was.

“Right, shit, sorry.” Y/N broke the kiss, shaking her head and Bucky found himself grinning at her. “Down the hall, the only door on the right.”

“Aye, aye.” And this time, he moved quickly, now desperate to get every article of clothing off of the girl in his arms.

Winifred Barnes was going to be the death of her. When the ringing of her cell phone pulled Y/N to consciousness only a few hours after she had fallen into bed, completely spent and exhausted after a few rounds with the guy from the bar. A heavy sigh escaped her lips as rolled over and picked up her phone.

“This is Y/N.”

“Meet me at the office in thirty minutes.” Winifred’s voice was sharp in her ear. Without a goodbye, her boss promptly hung up on the other end.

Her head was absolutely pounding, and her mouth felt drier than any desert. Taking a deep breath, Y/N eased herself into a sitting position, trying her best to ignore how the room felt like it was spinning. As she slipped out from underneath the blankets, her sole focus on getting herself a cold glass of water, Y/N realized the she was alone in her bed. Her immediate reaction was to roll her eyes. Of course the first guy she had brought home in over a year had ditched her before the sun had even come up. Sending a quick text to her girlfriends, Y/N sped through her morning routine, praying that a shower would be enough to mask the lack of sleep she had gotten and the excess of tequila she had consumed.

Y/N: Turns out Blue Eyes didn’t realize that we were soulmates. NAT: Explain please NAT: Also please enlighten us as to WHY you are awake at this hour? WANDA: That sucks! Tell me he was worth it tho? Y/N: When Winifred calls I answer. Y/N: He was completely worth it. Which makes it even more annoying. And completely devastating. WANDA: Text us later when you have an idea of when you’ll be done. Maybe the three of us could have a night in? NAT: I’m in.

Twenty-two minutes later, Y/N was looking - somewhat - like a real human being and was flashing her i.d. badge at the security guard who watched the elevator. He regarded her momentarily, before bidding her a brief ‘good morning’. She slipped into the empty elevator, letting her body rest against the side and closed her eyes, saying a silent prayer to whoever might be listening in the universe that Winifred wouldn’t keep her in the office for her entire Saturday. She was pulled from her own thoughts when a loud voice called, “could you hold the elevator please?”

It took every fibre of willpower Y/N had not to let the door close in the newcomer’s face. Holding back an eye roll and a snarky comment about being on time, she placed her hand in front of the door’s sensor, waiting impatiently.

As she focused on balancing the coffee she had picked up on her way in for herself and Winifred along with her laptop bag and purse, she felt the person slip by her into the elevator. Y/N immediately dropped her hand, pressing the button to close the doors with a little more aggression than was probably warranted.

“Thanks for that. I’m running super late.”

Y/N, once again, held back the urge to roll her eyes. Instead she plastured a smile on her face, turning to face the man. “No problem. Happens to the-” She felt her mouth dry up as she took in the man standing next to her. It was him! The man that had slipped from her bed before she had woken up. The man whose facial hair she could still feel between her thighs. “You!”

His eyebrows pulled together and his jaw loosened as he looked at her, his confusion completely evident on his face. “Me?” The complete lack of recognition on his almost annoyingly perfect face sent Y/N into immediate panic mode. She squeezed her eyes shut, letting a small glimpse of the embarrassment she was feeling show on her features.

“Sorry,” she muttered, shaking her head. “You’ll have to excuse me, I thought you were someone else.” She smiled sheepishly at him as the confusion slipped from his face and was replaced with something more comforting. “It’s way too early, and if I’m honest I’m a little hungover.”

He didn’t remember her. This man had taken her in ways she had barely known were possible; she had fallen asleep with his thick arms wrapped around her, told her best friends she was in love and he didn’t remember her. Nat and Wanda were going to mock her mercilessly for this one.

She felt the flush deepen on her cheeks as he chuckled, ducking his head to run a hand through his hair. “I hear ya. I’m not feelin’ so hot myself.”

“Rough night?” Y/N kept her gaze on the coffee tray she was holding, hoping she sounded nonchalant. Just two strangers conversing casually about their Friday night activities. Activities that had nothing to do with one another.

“You could say that.” Then he leaned in, his voice low as if they were conspiring together. “But let’s keep that between us.”

Y/N smiled tightly, nodding quickly as the elevator doors opened on the top floor of the building, and she stepped out without another look at her elevator mate. She heard his heavy footsteps following behind her at a slower pace than her heels clicked against the floor.

Y/N was hyper aware of the man from last night, from the elevator - she wasn’t sure exactly how to refer to him in her mind. Especially since she couldn’t recall his name at all, something uncommon - following a few paces behind her. What the hell was he doing on this floor? Winifred would probably claw his gorgeous face off for disturbing her so early. Even though she clearly had no problem pulling Y/N into the office at an ungodly hour.

Winifred was sitting behind her desk as Y/N approached, a smile stretched across her cheeks as she greeted her boss. “I brought you coffee.” Winifred simply quirked an eyebrow and returned her gaze back to the stack of papers in front of you.

“I’m meant to have an early meeting, but apparently no one in this world knows what it means to be on time. Including my assistant.” Y/N glanced at the clock on the wall - she was five minutes early.

“Is there anything I can do for you right now, Winifred?” Y/N chose to say instead, knowing that pointing out her lack of tardiness to her boss wouldn’t help her case. 

“I’ve forwarded you a few emails. I don’t have the time to respond. Take a look at them, will you?” With a quick nod, Y/N turned on her heel and collided with an extremely solid chest.

“Whoa there.” A pair of large, warm hands gripped her biceps to steady her. “You alright, doll?”

At the pet name, she had vivid memories of his rough voice in her ear, calling her doll, telling her how good she was, how good she felt. Before Y/N could respond to his question, Winifred’s sharp voice sounded behind her. “You’re late.”

Y/N felt a twinge of sympathy for this guy. Clearly he knew nothing of the wrath of Winifred Barnes if he had the nerve to show up late for an appointment with her. She was about to offer to get him a coffee, or tea, something to save him from her boss, but her words caught in her throat when a bright grin appeared on his face.

“Oh, c’mon, I’m not that late.”

“Late is late, James. I thought I raised you better than that.” James rolled his eyes in a manner that Y/N could only describe as affectionate. Meanwhile, her mind was running a mile a minute. Her soulmate - her gorgeous, funny, blue eyed soulmate, the very same man who had fucked her senseless only a few hours before - not only did not remember her at all, but was her boss’s son? This was far too much for Y/N to process.

“If you’re quite done groping my assistant, shall we get going?”

Completely ignoring the coffee Y/N had placed on her desk, Winifred pulled her blazer around her shoulders, propping her purse into the crook of her elbow. “Y/N, set up a lunch with Maria Hill next week will you? And I’ve finalized the guest list for the fundraiser for the children or the homeless, or whatever it is that Stark is trying pull more money for. Make sure that’s sent Sarah before you leave.”

Sharon, Y/N mentally corrected, but kept her mouth shut. “Was… was there anything else you needed me to do today, Winifred? Your phone call this morning seemed… urgent.”

Winifred fell silent, regarding her assistant cooly. Y/N tried not to squirm under her gaze. “No. That will be all. Lock up when you leave. James and I have a breakfast reservation and I’ll be out for the rest of the day.” Y/N bit the inside of her cheek to prevent her from telling Winifred where exactly she shove her breakfast reservation. Instead she simply nodded.

“Have a lovely breakfast.”

Without another word, Winifred turned on her heel, strutting toward the elevator. James, however, remained where he had been standing, regarding his mother’s assistant as she took a deep breath.

“Sorry about her,” he said finally, breaking the quiet that had settled around them. “She means well.”

Y/N smiled thinly, nodding at the tall man. “You should get going. You’re already late.”

“Right,” he said, sheepishly. “Have a good day, Y/N. It was nice to meet you.” With a small wave, he turned away from her, picking up his pace to catch up with his mother.

Y/N let out a deep breath, her hand coming up to push hair out of her face. “What the actual fuck?”

You were checking your makeup in the mirror to make sure everything looked okay. You went with a natural look; a subtle black eyeliner wing, mascara to lengthen your already beautifully long lashes, and a little bit of highlight to give your skin that sun-kissed glow. You left your hair down and put some loose wavy curls in it. Bucky would be at your dorm in 10 minutes to pick you up for your date. You were dressed in a casual looking red blouse, cute pair of black jegging capris, with your black strappy sandals so your freshly painted red toes could be seen. This get-up was covering your sexy new red lace bra and thong set.

After you helped Bucky get rid of his obsessive ex-girlfriend, you told him “You owe me one, Barnes” and he said you could have whatever you wanted, you asked him to take you out on a proper date. That’s what you wanted. He agreed immediately, “I’d love to take you out, doll” he had said. You shivered at the memory; Bucky was by far the best kisser you’ve ever had the pleasure of kissing. You reached up to run your fingertips over your lips, they were aching to be pressed against his soft lips again. The knock at your door startled you out of your trance. You grabbed your small black crossbody purse, threw it over your shoulder, gave yourself one last glance in the mirror, then went to get the door.

“You look amazing, Y/N.” Bucky smiled at you as you blushed at the compliment.

“Well thanks, Bucky. You don’t look too bad yourself.” You winked at him. He was wearing dark jeans, a red henley with the sleeves rolled up on his muscular forearms, and his black combat boots. Of course, his silky brown hair was down, tucked behind his ears. He chuckled at your blatant flirting and smiled so wide that he had little crinkles by his beautiful blue eyes.

“Shall we get going?” He asked as he extend his arm to you. You gently slid your hand up his forearm, was it possible to be attracted to someone’s forearms?? You rested your hand in the crook of his elbow, then grabbed your door and pulled it closed with your other hand.

“Lead the way.” You said as you smiled up at him.

Bucky lead you out of the dorm hall and to his car. He opened your door for you before going around and hopping in the driver’s seat. Bucky took you to The Pub, a casually classy Irish Pub themed restaurant. Your conversations at dinner flowed smoothly, you and Bucky talked like you have known each other for years. You were both so insanely comfortable with one another, it was almost kind of bizarre. The food was delicious, and the drinks were even better. Bucky had a short craft beer and you had two of the house special cocktails. You were both far from drunk. He was perfectly fine, and you were just buzzed enough to bring a little warmth to your cheeks.

You were both quiet on your way back to his car, your mind was screaming at you to get your lips back on his again. You chewed lightly on your bottom lip trying to relieve that little ache that hadn’t really gone away since last time he kissed you, four days ago. After he agreed to take you on a date, you exchanged numbers, and he gave you one last lingering needy kiss before he left your dorm room.

When you finally reached his car, he went to open the passenger door for you again, you put your hand on the door and pushed it closed before he could get it open more than two inches. He looked at you with his eyebrow scrunched in confusion.

“I can’t wait to do this for another second longer.” You breathed out as you reached up to the back of his neck to pull him down to your pleading lips. Bucky hummed in appreciation; he was going mad at the thought of having your lips on his again too. You nibbled at his bottom lip and he quickly granted you access into his waiting mouth. You sighed at the feeling of his tongue dancing with yours. Bucky’s hands were on your hips pulling you closer to him. He wanted to feel your body pressed against his again so damn badly. You pulled away first, both of you were breathing at little heavy.

“We should get back to my dorm.” You said breathily, still lightly panting.

“Yeah, Yes. Good idea.” Bucky shook his head yes too, as if his agreement wasn’t expressed strongly enough already. He opened your door for you then ran around to his side and climbed in.

The drive back was going to be roughly 12 minutes and you didn’t know if you could keep your hands off of him for that long. About 5 minutes into the trip back, you got an idea. You looked over at Bucky, seeing his eyes were focused on the road, you reached over to his knee and started to slowly run your hand up his thigh.

His gaze snapped over to you, “what are you doing, doll?” he questioned in a low warning tone.

You unbuckled your seatbelt and crouched up on your knees and leaned over the middle console to whisper in his ear, “don’t worry about it, baby.” You said softly, “just keep your eyes on the road.” You finished by lightly nibbling at his earlobe.

Bucky groaned loudly when your hand finally made its way up to his already half hard cock. You rubbed him through his jeans, loving the way you could feel him hardening under your touch. You took your hand away and you heard the faintest little whimper come from Bucky. You popped open the button of his jeans and slid his zipper down. Bucky felt his breath catch in his throat, were you really about to do what he thought you were going to do?? That question was answered when he felt you reach into his boxers and pull out his fully erect dick. You stroked him a few times then glanced up at his face to make sure he was still watching the road, he wasn’t.

“Eye’s on the road, baby.” You said in a lightly chastising tone. He groaned again, this time in slight annoyance at not being able to watch you.

Once his eyes were back up on the road you dipped your head down and took the weeping pink tip of his very impressively sized cock into your mouth. Bucky moaned loudly at the feeling of your warm soft tongue swirling around his sensitive cockhead. You took him into your mouth until the tip of his cock hit the back of your throat, and he let out an almost angelic sounding groan. Bucky didn’t think this could get any better, then you relaxed your throat and took him all the way in until your nose brushed the soft curls at the base of his cock. Bucky’s right hand fell from the steering wheel so he could gently weave his fingers through your hair and massage the back of your head. He took a deep breath attempting to calm his thudding heartbeat, his left knuckles were white from how hard he was gripping the steering wheel.

“oooh fuck” he sighed, “that feels amazing baby” he praised you as you swallowed around him. You hummed at his praises, sending vibrations through his cock that he felt all the way in his balls. Bucky choked on his breath and tightened his grip on your hair. You started pulling back slowly, being sure to give the head of his cock some special attention; flicking your tongue over his slit a few times. You hummed again at the taste of him leaking onto your tongue. Bucky had just thrown the car in park, finally back at the dorm hall, at the same time as you began to bob your head up and down swirling your tongue around his sensitive head while your hand worked the rest of his shaft.

“Oh s-sh-shit, Doll” he stuttered out “Fuck! I-I’m cumming” he threw his head back and held tightly onto your hair as you took all of the hot cum he shot into your mouth, swallowing it and continuing to gently lick at the head of his cock until you were sure he was completely spent.

Bucky’s hand detangled from your hair and fell to his side as you sat up to look at his completely fucked out state of being. He was panting, his head was still tilted back on the headrest, and his eyes were still screwed shut as he tucked himself back into his pants. You smiled to yourself, you had been able to get that sort of reaction out of Bucky and you hadn’t even taken your clothes off yet. When Bucky felt like he could breathe properly again, he opened his eyes and lifted his head from the headrest, turning to look at you. He couldn’t believe you were sitting there smiling at him sweetly and gazing at him innocently with your big (Y/E/C) eyes.

“Holy shit” he breathed, “you sure are something else Y/N” he half chuckled and shook his head at you.

“A good ‘something else’ or a bad ‘something else’?” you questioned in an innocent tone. He full on laughed at your question.

“A good ‘something else’ doll. A very good something else.” He smiled at you that big eye crinkling smile again.

Bucky turned the car off and hopped out, then jogged over to your side to open your door for you. You took the hand he offered you and climbed out. You walked back to your dorm room hand-in-hand; Bucky’s thumb was gently rubbing the back of yours the whole way there. You loved the feeling of his hand in yours, it was soft yet strong. You couldn’t wait to feel those hands all over your body. Your nipples were starting to bud just at the thought of him feeling you up again. You took in a sharp breath and felt a shot of warmth go straight to your core as the images of your heated makeout session invaded your thoughts.

“You okay doll?” Bucky tilted his head toward you, eyebrows slightly raised in question. You looked up at him, god he was so beautiful, what the fuck.

Your gaze snapped back forward and you squeaked out a quick “yep.” You felt your face warm up in embarrassment at your inability to control your lust for this man. But Bucky took your change in demeanor as hesitance. When you finally reached your door, he spun you around by your arm to face him.

“Listen doll, if you’re unsure about this we don’t have to go any further tonight.” He said in a quiet gentle tone as he stared at you with soft eyes. Your heart rate jumped. Was he having second thoughts now?? Was your performance in the car not evidence enough that you definitely wanted this, wanted him? Your throat tightened a little as you stared back at him, panic was evident in your eyes. Or maybe he got what he wanted and now he’s trying to find an escape route.. You dropped his hand and looked down at the floor, unable to meet his gaze. 

You swallowed the lump in your throat so you could speak, “no Bucky, I definitely want this” you said in a slightly shaky voice “b-but I get it if you don’t… don’t w-want me like that.” You finished, turning your head away from him and blinking rapidly to get your unshed tears to stay at bay.

Bucky grabbed you by your shoulders and turned your attention back to him, “hey no, no baby. That’s not it at all!” He said in a pleading tone, “I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anyone else before in my entire life!” he finished, looking into your sad eyes with his now desperately begging ones. “I just wanted you to know that I’m not only in this for the sex. I actually really like you. Our conversations at dinner were so comfortable and easy, you’re witty and charming beyond belief, and beautiful, absolutely gorgeous, stunning.” He smiled and brought his right hand up from your shoulder to rest on your neck so his thumb could stroke the edge of your jawline. His left hand dropped to your hip to pull you closer to him, then he leaned down and gave you the softest sweetest kiss you’ve ever received. You reciprocated the kiss immediately, bringing your hands up to run through the hair at the base of his neck. You sighed in pleasure of having his lips on yours again, but also in relief at his confession.

You pulled away before things got too heated outside your dorm room. “Bucky,” you sighed “I’m not just in it for the sex either, I really like you too” you said in a light quiet tone. He smiled sweetly at you and kissed your forehead in response. You unlocked your door and pulled him inside with you by his hand. After you pushed the door closed and locked it you slowly turned to him, his hands grasped your hips as you ran your hands up his chest and to his shoulders then extended onto your tippy toes to whisper in his ear, “but with that being said,” you started in a low tone “I’d really like you to fuck me into that mattress right now until I’m screaming your name so loud the whole hall knows who’s making me feel good.” Bucky groaned loudly, his eyes rolled back in his head, his grip tightened on your hips, and he bit down on his bottom lip so hard he thought it might bleed. No woman had ever had the effect on him that you did, and he fucking loved it.

“Okay baby doll” he breathed in a husky tone “I’ve said it before and I’m sure I’ll say it again.. Whatever you want, name it and it’s yours” he finished as he scooped you up into his arms, your legs wrapped around his trimmed waist immediately as he carried you to your bed. He sat you down gently and slowly crouched to his knees. He began undoing the straps on your sandals quickly getting both of them off. His hands ran up your legs to the waistband of your capris “As nice as your ass looks in these, I still think they’d look better on the floor.” He said as he pulled them off of you and tossed them to the corner of the room. Bucky hummed in appreciation, “god damn, baby. More lace?” he smiled remembering how good you looked in nothing but the black lace panties and his t-shirt. He was brought out of his thoughts by the sound of more clothes ruffling. You had pulled your blouse over your head and tossed it to the corner with your pants, now you lay there in front of him in just the red lace bra and thong set, looking up at Bucky innocently.

“I bought this set just for you, Bucky” you said as you ran your hands up your sides and to your breasts slowly kneading them, you arched your back to push your chest out to him more. Bucky thought he might pass out from all the blood in his body flowing directly to his cock. He had to take a few deep breaths before he could respond to that.

“I’m honored, Doll” he rasped out, “you look good enough to eat” he finished- sporting a devilish smirk. This man was going to be the death of you. He went to reach for the waistband of your panties, but you grabbed his hand and stopped him. He looked up at you in confusion.

“I don’t think so, mister” you said cheekily, “you are far too overdressed for this part of the evening’s activities” you smiled brightly when he realized what you meant.

Bucky got up from the floor and started to strip down. While he was doing this, you shimmied up to a more comfortable position on the bed and watched him. Bucky had the textbook definition of an Adonis body, the way the muscles in his back rippled as he bent down to unlace his boots had your clit throbbing with need. You removed your bra, the material felt like it was constricting your lungs. After ridding yourself of the offending garment, you discreetly slipped your right-hand into your panties and started to rub slow circles on your clit to alleviate the ache that was becoming almost unbearable. You tried to be quiet so you could enjoy Bucky undressing in front of you for as long as possible. He started pushing his pants and boxers down now that his boots and socks were off. His cock sprung free from its confines and you couldn’t hold back the nearly pornographic moan that escaped from your throat. Bucky’s gaze snapped over to you so fast he could have given himself whiplash. He nearly came at the sight in front of him. You; laying there with your legs spread open toying with yourself as you watched him undress, you had your bottom lip trapped between your teeth and your left-hand giving attention to your obviously hard nipples.

“As much as I love watching you play with yourself like that,” Bucky groaned out, “you got your date that you asked for, and you got dessert on the ride home.” he stated matter-of-factly as he crawled up to you on the bed. He leaned over you; his leaking cock pressed against your thigh. Bucky looked like he was going in for a kiss then he quickly changed direction to whisper in your ear, “now you owe me one, baby.” He said with finality as he grabbed your right wrist and pulled your hand from your panties. You whimpered as he brought your fingers to his mouth and sucked them clean.

That pleading sound broke something in Bucky. He quickly sat back up and ripped your red lace thong to pieces. Before you could even voice your protest at the destruction of your new lingerie; Bucky’s mouth was on your dripping cunt, lapping up your abundant arousal.

“uuuuugh my god, Bucky!” you moaned loudly and brought your right-hand down to tangle in his silky soft hair. Your back arched involuntarily as your body shuddered under his tongue. Bucky wrapped his left arm around your hips and held your body back down as he continued to expertly eat you out. He purred at the feeling of your nails gently caressing his scalp. You felt the vibration throughout your whole body, you released another moan of his name as your legs began to shake. Bucky dipped his tongue into your pussy then curled his left hand downward to start rubbing fast circles on your swollen clit. “Oh god yes, Bucky…yES” you began chanting his name like a prayer as that familiar coil in your lower belly approached its breaking point.

“Come on baby, cum all over my face” Bucky encouraged you before he dipped his head back down; doubling his efforts to make you cum, moving his head side-to-side quickly, his fluffy hair tickling your inner thighs. Two more strokes of his tongue and your dam broke. You came hard, all over Bucky’s face, just like he asked you to. He gently stroked your clit and continued licking your pussy as you rode out your orgasm, he didn’t let up until you were pushing him away, too sensitive to take anymore. 

Bucky sat back with a giant self-satisfied grin on his face as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. You took a second to catch your breath then sat up and grabbed him by his shoulders, you pulled him closer to you and crashed your lips together. You sighed lightly and smiled at your taste that was still lingering on his tongue. Bucky’s hands slid up your sides to cup your breasts, he rubbed his thumbs over your hard nipples loving the way you arched your back to press harder into his hands. You pushed one of your hands up to card through his amazingly soft locks. Your other hand fell down to stroke his rock-hard cock. His breath caught in his throat at your actions, then he let out a long drawn out groan with his lips still attached to yours. You collected the precum leaking from his tip and used it to slide your hand up and down his cock with ease. Bucky detached his mouth from yours and began to kiss down your neck to your collarbone sucking a small love bites everywhere he went. You kept your hand in his hair, gently scratching at his scalp. You picked up on the fact that he enjoyed it immensely. Bucky’s hands slid from your chest to wrap around to your waist, then down to your ass, expertly kneading the supple flesh. He dropped his mouth down to take one of your sensitive nipples between his lips. He massaged it with his tongue enjoying the soft moans you rewarded him with for his ministrations. He switched over to give the other nipple the same attention.

You gave your sensitive pussy enough time to rest, you were coming apart at the seams with the need to have him inside of you. So, you pulled Bucky away from your breasts and flipped him around to lay on his back. He didn’t much protest to your movements and fell to the mattress gracefully. You threw your right leg over him, so you were straddling his waist. He looked up at you like you were a Goddess among women, because to him, you were. His hands slid up your thighs to your hips. He started rubbing little circles over your hip bones. You ran your hands up his abs and chest loving the way his muscles flexed and his skin prickled just from your fingertips grazing over him. You leaned down and started kissing and nibbling at his abdomen.

You pushed your hips down to grind your soaking wet folds against his cock. He took in a deep breath, “Not that I don’t love having your mouth on me sweetheart, but if I don’t get inside you within the next 10 seconds.. I might actually die.” He said as he exhaled.

You leaned up to look him in the eyes and chuckled at the very distressed look on his face, “Don’t be so dramatic, baby.” You chastised him shaking your head at his theatrics.

He grabbed your face and pulled you into a breathtaking kiss. He released you and looked you dead in the eyes, “I’m being serious, I need to be in you.. like, right now” he deadpanned. “Where do you keep your condoms?” He looked to your bedside table.

“Don’t worry about it” you said in a husky whisper, “I’m on the pill and I’m clean” You smiled brightly at him.

“I’m clean too, babydoll” he sighed as he brought your face back to his for a soft kiss. You loved the way he kissed you, you never wanted him to stop. So, you continued to tangle your tongue with his as you reached down to line his cock up with your soaking wet pussy. You rubbed the head through your slick to ensure he’d slide in easily. Bucky groaned at your actions, loving the attention his achingly hard cock was finally getting. Once you felt he was sufficiently lubricated with your wetness, you began to sink down on him. Bucky removed his lips from yours, taking in a few deep breaths to calm himself down. Your velvety soft walls were gripping him so tight, and he’d be damned if he blew his load too early.

“Fuck baby, you feel so good wrapped around my cock.” He moaned out.

“oh Bucky” you whimpered in pleasure. You continued to praise him with moans of his name as you started to rock your hips up and down.

Bucky loved watching you fuck yourself on his cock; bouncing up and down like your life depended on it. He reached up to toy with your nipples, making you moan even louder for him. You started panting as you continued your movements. Bucky didn’t want to make you do all the work, so he quickly flipped you both over and began to pound into you at a bruising pace. He loved watching your tits bounce every time he thrusted back into you. He could tell you were close as your walls started to flutter around him. He was getting pretty close himself, but he swore he wasn’t going to cum before you did. So, he reached down to start rubbing circles on your clit in an effort to get you over the edge faster. And it did. You came harder than the first time, yelling out Bucky’s name as he continued to fuck into your throbbing cunt. The combination of your pussy milking his cock and you shouting his name for the entire campus to hear sent Bucky over the edge, throttling him into the most mind-blowing orgasm he had ever experienced. You cried out again as another smaller orgasm washed through you as he painted your inner walls with his release.

Once you both calmed down a little bit and he softened and slid out of you, you padded to the bathroom quickly to clean yourself up, when you came back out Bucky was picking up his clothes. You were about to ask him to stay when he walked up to you and handed you the henley he’d been wearing. “You take this, and I’m going to clean myself up real quick. I’ll only be gone a few seconds” he smiled and kissed your forehead. You slid the shirt over your head loving how it smelled like him, then crawled into your bed. Bucky came out of the bathroom in his boxers and few minutes later and laid down right beside you and wrapped his arms around you as you snuggled into his welcoming embrace.

“Hey Y/N, can I ask you something?” Bucky spoke softly.

“You just did” You responded with a chuckle.

“Ha ha, very funny, Doll.” He smiled and rolled his eyes at you.

“Yes Bucky, you can ask me anything you’d like” you amended, smiling back at him.

“I was just wondering if you wanted to.. uhm, if you wanted to- to be my girl… like, my girlfriend.” He breathed out a heavy sigh, frustrated with himself for stumbling through such an important question. 

“I’d love nothing more than to be your girl, Bucky.” You answered almost embarrassingly fast. He grinned that eye crinkling grin again that you’ve deemed your favorite look of his.

“Perfect” he said as he leaned in to claim your lips with his. You broke apart after a few light kisses were exchanged. You snuggled into Bucky’s neck and he rested his chin atop of your head, you felt the rumble in his chest as he started to speak again. “Yanno, I’ve actually wanted to talk to you for almost a month now” he started, “we have Western Civ and English together, and every time one of those classes ended, I tried to hype myself up enough to talk to you. I thought I could ask you your name, even though I already knew it. Or maybe talk to you about your major.. I don’t know. I was trying to think of anything to use as an excuse to get your attention, but I didn’t think you’d be interested in me like that.” Your head tilted back to look at him in astonishment.

“Pfft, are you for real Barnes??” you questioned. He looked down at you, brows crinkling together waiting for you to continue, “you are seriously the most beautiful man I have ever laid eyes on, you giant dummy.” He laughed shaking his head in disbelief.

“Then why did you never approach me?” He challenged.

“You could have literally any girl on this campus that you want.” You deadpanned.

“Then I’m exactly where I want to be.” He said as he leaned in to press a kiss to your forehead, then to your nose, then your lips again. You smiled at his sentiment and cuddle back into his chest. Bucky pulled the blankets over you both and placed one last kiss to your hairline, you responded with a kiss to his chest, right over his heart, before you both drifted off to sleep.