Dear Mom and Dad,

There’s a lot that I need to tell you, but I can’t. I know I’m not the son you wanted and I know there are times where you should just lock me in a room but if it weren’t for you then I wouldn’t be here right now. I cherish my life and don’t want to let it go to waste. While I’m writing this there’s something I have to tell you..

I got hurt a few years ago...bad. That bike accident I said I had was a lie… I snuck out and left the palace without any security with me. My friends and I wanted to party so we went out and after I decided to walk home alone. I guess these guys recognized me and jumped me. I was left there laying in the street until someone found me. At least I was smart enough to not give myself away, right? There’s a headline for you.. I’m sorry.. I know it was stupid and I shouldn’t have done it because right now it’s messing me up.

I’m literally sitting here at 4:30 in the morning because I can’t sleep. Every time I close my eyes it pops back into my head. I don’t know what’s happening to me but it’s getting worse.. And I really should tell you…

Dear Estelle, 

I don’t know how to say this without looking like an idiot and god-forbid you don’t feel the same way. We’ve been through a lot together, you’re the person I can always laugh with when at stuffy events and I always find joy in pulling you away from a heated debate. I’ve never met a girl like you, but for some reason we were drawn to each other. Are we opposites? I don’t know, we could be because Lord knows I would never go out there and throw around words like you do. You’re smart and funny and I could literally go on and on about how amazing and beautiful you are. That’s not what this letter is about, this letter is about something more, something that I’ve been thinking about a lot and at the end of this you could drop me like a fly or you can meet me there.

I was terrified to come to the Summit. I dreaded it since I was little; getting married to someone you don’t know and trying to get to know them was scary. I wanted to marry for love and trust and everything that a marriage should be. I didn’t want a business deal, I still don’t. When I found out that I was going to be betrothed to you something happened within me and I was excited to come. You gave me that excitement because I knew that I was marrying someone that I had a connection with. We’ve been bonded for a long time and this only makes sense. I didn’t know feelings existed until that day we went to the woods. I looked into your beautiful chocolate brown eyes and I knew that I couldn’t live without you. The girl that was my best friend was turning into something more. It scared me a little, but also gave me this feeling that I hadn’t felt in a long time.

Stelle, I think I’m falling in love with you. I don’t know how else to tell you this and this letter is probably the worst idea ever, but these words wouldn’t come out if I told you face to face. I see a life with you, a happy one. You might not be there yet, but I think I am and it’s scary and exciting all at the same time. You don’t have to be cheesy and send me a letter back or even acknowledge it at all but this is how I feel. You can drop me like a hat if you want and I would go on knowing I at least told you how I felt. Estelle Tessier, you are the one that I want to spend my life with because I love you, not because of some summit.

Letters seem so outdated, but I've always secretly loved them. There's that personal touch that everything else lacks, sending an email or...a text message, it takes minimal effort but this, you have to sit down, take time out -- think before you write what you want to on the page. Or else you'll waste paper, I've already wasted some paper. I feel sorry for the tree this pad came from. It's hard for me to define what we are, what you are to me. I didn't expect it. You were the most glorious surprise. It was finding a wonderful flower amongst the weeds, it brightens up that whole area, makes you see the weeds a little differently.

I should start with a confession. I knew you before I met you. Well, no -- that is a lie. I knew of your face, I knew what the media said about your story, but I didn't know you until I saw you in the flower garden. I lied when I said the flower wasn't in the book. I suppose that's creepy but at the time, I didn't really think about it. I wanted to speak to you, to know you - the real you. The person who I saw captivated by beautiful flowers, not the person that the press constantly painted you as. You're so much more than the people you sleep with. You're someone who has so much going on inside of themselves; their mind bright and colourful; full of flowers and maybe sometimes dark and twisted vines too, but that's not bad, they're still beautiful too. There's not a single bad thing about you. I knew immediately I wanted you around, there was a spark, wasn't there? Something bloomed inside me and I know you felt it too. If your drunken confession told me anything, it was that. I should've said more then but I was scared, I'm still scared. I try so hard to be someone I'm proud of, but I fuck it up everytime.  I think you're the one person who sees that. Who sees I'm a fuck up, but still likes me regardless. Someone who looks past the mistakes I've made, who knows there's more. I think the same about you, Mark. You're more than you let the world see, but I don't think the world deserves to see every single corner of your beautiful soul, they're not worth it. Some should be saved for those you hold closest; a secret garden to be enjoyed only by those who've worked to get the key, proved themselves to you.

I don't know if you believe in the comments I make about you. They're true, all of them. They're probably too much, but I can't seem to help myself. It's innate, you see, my want to make you see how incredible you are. When everyone else was pulling me apart, picking at the poison inside of myself you focused on what was still alive and good and, that flower really was the nicest thing anyone's ever given to me. I don't think I deserve your gentleness, I don't think I deserve those words you spoke about me. I'm so used to feeling wrong about who I am and what I want. I've kept so many things inside of myself because I'm scared, the biggest coward I know but seeing you blossom into who you were supposed to be, it's powerful, Mark. You're so powerful. I hope you realise that, you realise the power you hold inside of yourself and never let it go. I love how sassy you can be, I love how you can't seem to find a balance between confident and flustered, you're beautiful switching between the two. I've never known anyone to do that before.

You're so impossibly special and you're still so young, still growing into the man you're supposed to be. You're already double the man that I am, and I'm inspired by you every time we talk. I feel safe with you, nothing bad can happen when I have you by my side. I don't deserve someone like you in my life, but I've always been pretty selfish. I'd do anything to keep you in it. I think...I feel more for you than I should, more than I can really tell you. I feel guilt flood me whenever I think about it.

I want you to know you mean the world to me, that my words are more than just words. I don't know how to explain it well, I don't know how to do this justice but you're amazing, never let anyone steal your sunshine.

Speak soon.

Love, Korey.

@priincecastillos