tae: AND we are talking about poc erasure if you even care
you probably donāt
because youāre a racist
just like your father namjoon
jk: yoongi is older than namjoon
btw
tae: ok???
maybe i wasnāt even talking to yoongi
jk: ok iām sorry
tae: itās ok son
hobi: who the fuck were you talking to then?
tae: well yoongi but like maybe i wasnāt at the same time yk?
y/n: shut up
jk: yes
y/n: ?
tae: ok raise ur hand if you think hoseok is being unnecessarily mean to kim taehyung the 3rd today
namjoon: anyways
yoongi are you ok??
yoongi: yeah sorry my head is just all over the place rn
forget everything i said
hobi: is this due to your alcohol consumption
or is it your age getting to you LOL
since your old
older than namjoon
jk: older than namjoon
jin: jungkook is 27 btw
y/n: 23 forever
jin: thatās almost 30 yk?
hobi: at least itās not 31
ykā¦
like you
jin: ok
jk: ok !!!!
namjoon: yeah i donāt know what you wanted to get out of that oneā¦
jin: kys
ALL of you
hobi: ā¤ļø
jk: love is love
y/n: awoman
jk: awoman
tae: if you all loved me you would send me a stack
hobi: notice how no money is being sent to your account
take that into consideration
tae: how about you consider my fist in you face
ok i take that back
hobi: donāt
y/n: bryson tiller
tae: why not :(
you didnāt even know what i was gonna say hobi >.<
hobi: namjoon tell him to shut up
namjoon: tae please
tae: yeah ok š
cuz you know i do NOT want the smoke
he might do me like he did jaehyun ššš¼
hobi: will you STOP bringing that up
tae: will you send me a STACK?
hobi: no
tae: then NO
namjoon: both of you stop
also where is jimin??
physically i mean
like do any of you know?
yoongi: y/nās house i think
y/n: no heās not??
tae: woah
jk: btw that is also my house yoongi
so y/n AND jungkookās house
yoongi: y/n and jungkookās house then
y/n: heās not here
yoongi: but he was
y/n: how do you even know that??
yoongi: i just do
y/n: ok ????
yoongi: ok
jk: ok \ ^0^ /
tae: wait
jk: JIMIN WAS IN OUR HOUSE ?????
jin: keep up ohmugod
jk: LIKE PHYSICALLY IN OUR HOUSE
WHERE I SLEEP AT NIGHT???
y/n: he wasnāt in my room no
if thatās what ur asking
jk: BUT HE WAS HERE???
AFTER HE WAS SO MEAN SO EVIL?!
y/n: itās been weeks i was gonna talk to him at some point ig
hobi: communication is key!
not key from shinee btw
jk: WHEN DID HE COME????
WHY DID HE COME????
y/n: he came a few weeks ago
august 6th ? i think
to talk about everything and apologise
jk: you let him in?
tae: LIKEā¦
y/n: yes
jk: and where was i?
y/n: it was a wednesday so ur boxing class?
jk: iāve been staying back for those classes
so he came late right?
y/n: yeah
jk: did you invite him?
y/n: no he kinda just showed up
jk: and you still let him in??
y/n: yes jungkook
jk: why didnāt you tell me??
y/n: i wasnāt trying to keep it a secret or anything it just a lot
like a lot seriously
i wanted to give both me and jimin some time to process it all before we brought it all back to you guys
but i was going to tell you
all of you
jk: yeah but like itās been weeksā¦
namjoon: to be fair i also did talk to
jimin and didnāt tell anyone
jk: namjoon
jin: also did that
hobi: u all know i talked to him soā¦
jk: guys???
iām confused like what he said was wrong but youāre all still talking to him
like everythingās ok???
namjoon: he apologised to her kook
jk: FUCK HIS APOLOGY?????
tae you get it right?? you didnāt speak to him right??
tae: no i get it
i get you
i understand fully
but i wonāt lie to you
i DID speak to him
on the phone
only for 5 minutes tho
i counted
i just wanted to make sure he didnāt yk like kill himself or somethingā¦
you know jimin is weak like that
not calling people who commit suicide weak but like calling jimin weak cuz thatās what he is
jk: TAE?????????????
tae: SORRY SUICIDE IS REAL YK?
AND LIKE IT DOESNT TAKE AWAY FROM THE FACT THAT I STILL WANT TO PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE
i was just
uh
checking?
namjoon: you can say you were worried about him you know that
jk: SHUT UP???Ā£/8/8/8,&&:&,
NO HE CANāT
YOU ALL HAVE NO BACK BONE /Ā£2&/&&:&:
NO LOYALTY
HE BASICALLY CALLED Y/N A WHORE AND YOUR ALL FRIENDS WITH HIM AGAIN??????
LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED?????
tae: NO IāM MAD IM STILL SO FUCKING MAD THE FUCK????
FUCK JIMIN I MEAN IT
jk: you are a liar
LIKE
guys whatĀ£/Ā£/&/&:&:
i thought you guys were better than this ???
i thought you all cared
jin: donāt be stupid
of course we care
jk: then act like it????
y/n tell them
y/n: jungkook
jk: tell them
in fact
jk added jimin to āAGUST DUIš“š„ā
jk: tell ALL of them
y/n: jungkook please
jk: y/n seriously
jimin: hey
jk: shut the fuck up
tae: dude
i know ur upset and angry but doing this rn isnāt gonna solve anything
namjoon: heās right jungkook
ur acting on emotion and not thinking properly right now
jk: IM not thinking properly???
was jimin thinking properly when he called her a slut and then ran away like a bitch?? was he????
namjoon: obviously not jungkook
hobi: but theyāve talked it out and heās said sorry
jk: HIS SORRY DOESNāT MEAN SHIT
WHAT DO YOU GUYS NOT UNDERSTAND?
his fucking sorry means nothing
him saying sorry doesnāt take back the words he said
or any of the hurt he caused
namjoon: jungkook like she told us theyāve talked about it and heās apologised
i not sure what more you want
jk: I WANT YOU GUYS NOT TO MOVE ON SO FUCKING FAST??
I WANT YOU GUYS TO AT LEAST TELL HIM HOW FUCKED UP THAT ALL WAS
BOTH PUBLICLY AND PRIVATELY
he should be walking around eggshells around us rn
you guys should be giving him a hard time
not wondering where he is or whether heās depressed or not
and you wanna know something?
after it all happened she cried for hours
hours
i have genuinely never seen her so upset
she told me not to tell anyone but i have to so guys can fucking understand
and the fact that we didnāt even know that her and jimin spoke???
does that not bother you all?????
the fact that she was āso fineā and āokayā about the whole situation but didnāt tell us that they had supposedly āmade upā
tae: she said that she was planning on telling us
jk: yeah but she didnāt did she? itās been weeks
she said they spoke august 6th right?
we are quite literally in a whole new month
and you ALL should know that when she doesnāt tell us things itās because sheās upset
you should KNOW her
and how she deals with things
you all claim to care but iām yet to see how
you know i was really excited about this
we were all you know realising
and coming to terms with this
us
i thought that we felt the same
but this has shown me that you guys donāt even feel a quarter of what i do for her
and you probably never will
the way that you all just took her word for her being fine and okay about the whole situation without actually genuinely checking in with her is insane and the way you all rushed to make sure jimin was ok was even crazier
i just
whatever
bye
ā
as you can probably tell this was supposed to be released last month but i tried to adjust it as much as i could
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āYou really canāt make it?ā You whispered, your eyes constantly glancing to the bottom of the bedroom door to make sure two tiny feet wouldnāt show up to listen in. It was tough to keep your voice down, especially considering how upset you were becoming with your husband's constant last minute cancellations of plans that had been in effect for months. āWe talked about thisā¦ you promised him that youād be able to make it too.ā You hissed as you pointed to the door, once again making sure your son hadnāt overheard the silent argument.Ā
Namjoon ran a hand through his hair as he moved further into the room, dropping down onto the edge of the bed. āYou really think I find enjoyment in letting you down, in letting him down?ā He huffed, falling back onto the bed with his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose, his eyes squeezing shut to try to block out the agitation he was feeling.Ā
āKind of seems like that.ā You retorted, your jaw clenched with your own agitation at just another family trip that would be soiled by Namjoons cancellation. āI might as well just be a single mother at this point with how much youāre goneā¦ You said that things would be slowing down, that youād be able to make it this time around.ā You scoffed, shaking your head as you rolled your eyes, not specifically at him, but at the circumstances in general. āItās ridiculous.āĀ
He groaned loudly, letting both of his hands fall over his face, dragging them down as a loud sigh escaped his lips. āYou make it seem like I do this shit on purpose. Not just seem though, itās like you actually believe that Iām this much of an asshole.ā He pushed himself up, his back ramrod straight as he stared at you. āDo you actually believe that?āĀ
Pursing your lips, you shrugged your shoulders, exasperated at everything at this point. āI donāt know, Namjoon. All I do know is that this trip has been planned weeks and weeks in advance, itās on the calendar, our sonā¦ your son was so excited to finally take a family vacation with you and you justā¦ You drop this on me the night before we have to go. God Iā¦ā You took a deep breath, wanting to pull your hair out, wanting to scream, but not wanting to upset your son in the process. āI hate you sometimesā¦ā Slowly exhaling, your tongue in your cheek as you looked between him and the door, you let out an exhausted chuckle. āWeāre leaving early, Iām sleeping in his room tonight. Donāt bother trying to wake up in time to catch us, Iād rather him not be upset on the way out.ā You said, trying your best to stay calm and collected, swallowing back the anger that threatened to swallow you entirely.Ā
āYou know, I told youā¦ I told you that things would get difficult, that my life was hectic and I wouldnāt always have time.ā His defense was strong, or so he thought, but his rebuttal only had you more disgusted, cursing yourself for even marrying him at this point. āYou said that youād support me, that youād stand by me no matter what. You werenāt so upset to get hitched when I was raking in the cash, were you?ā His assumption and low blow had you whipping around, your finger pointed at him on the bed as tears of anger built in the corners of your eyes, your entire body trembling with rage.Ā
āDonātā¦ Donāt you dare try to throw all this shit back up in my face like itās my fault!ā You shouted, completely forgetting about your son who was in the other room. āI did stand by you, I supported you every fucking chance that I got! I gave up my entire life for you! I couldnāt do anything, I couldnāt go anywhere. Any semblance of normalcy that I once had, it was gone, but I dealt with it for you!ā You seethed at him, your fingers gripping the edges of your shirt, worried that if you didnāt have something to keep yourself grounded youād end up doing something that youād regret. āFor the past eight yearsā¦ Eight fucking years, Namjoon, I wasnāt me, I was just some fucking extension of you, and I dealt with it, because I thought thatā¦ hey, maybe itāll all get better as soon as his career starts dwindling down. But no! For some fucking reason it just keeps getting worse.ā You took a shaky breath, your nose sniffling as you looked at your husband through glossy eyes. āAnd nowā¦ Now our son who just wanted to have some time with his family, which he for some reason thinks still includes you, now heās going to be let downā¦ Again. Iām tired of letting him downā¦ But you wouldnāt understand that because you never have to be the one to tell him that you canāt make it. Itās never you.ā Your head fell back as you let out a heavy sigh, running your hands over your face, gasping quietly in disbelief at everything that was going on right now. āDo you even know him?ā You questioned him, watching as his eyes narrowed at you quizzically.Ā
āWhat do you mean? Of course I know my son, what kind of stupid question is that?ā He scoffed at your question, shaking his head as he looked at you.Ā
āWhatās he like? Whatās his favorite color? What bedtime story does he like, whatās his favorite food, whatās his favorite movie, show, song, toy? What do you know about him?!ā Namjoon shook his head once more, clearly finding your sudden questionnaire ridiculous and foolish, but it only further proved your point. āYou walk around like youāre father of the year to a kid that you donāt even know.āĀ
He threw his hands up, his annoyance spilling over in the tone of his voice. āWhat do you want me to say, Y/N?! Iām sorry Iām busy, Iām sorry that I have a job to do! I meanā¦ How the hell am I even supposed to know what he likes?! Heās six years old and he hasnāt spoken a word! How is that my fault?!āĀ
You were at a loss for words, seeing red as you looked at the man on the bed, the man that you felt like you didnāt even know anymore. He didnāt know the half of what youāve dealt with the past four years, the absolute hell that you were put through trying to raise your son on your own. āI never said it was your fault!ā You screamed, your chest rising and falling heavily as your teeth gritted together. āYou didnāt even take the time to try to get to know him, youāre embarrassed by him! Thatās why you feel no shame in doing what youāre doing, what you always do!ā You pulled the rings off your finger, throwing them across the room, the action exhilarating and almost liberating in a way. āItās always about you! It always has been and always will be! God forbid the fucking world knows that Kim Namjoon has a child with autism!āĀ
His glare was deadly as he looked between you and where the rings had landed on the floor, his own fingers yanking off the ring that you had placed there on the day of your wedding. āThatās really what you think?! That I donāt love my son?! Youāre ridiculous, Y/N! Youāre putting words in my mouth!āĀ
āIāve known how you felt for a whileā¦ I saw the way youād look at him when youād come home, you wouldnāt even acknowledge him once he got the diagnosis. You wonāt even let the guys around himā¦ You havenāt even told your parents whatās going on, youāre ashamed!ā You had been pacing the room, stopping once more at the door, your hand on the knob. āHe didnāt ask for this eitherā¦ He fought from the day he was bornā¦ And to have his own father turn his back on himā¦ I couldnāt imagine the way that makes him feel. You knowā¦ Just because he canāt say it, doesnāt mean he doesnāt feel itā¦ I just want you to remember that.ā There was nothing left for you to say, and the silence that followed after you had finished showed that he had nothing to say either. It was done, and the entire argument had left you exhausted, both physically and mentally and all you wanted to do was lay in bed next to your son and hold him, to let him know that not everyone had given up on him, that youād always be there.Ā
Your son grunted loudly as he pulled against your hand, trying to lead you into the bedroom where Namjoon was sleeping. āHoneyā¦ Heās not comingā¦ He canātā¦ Iām sorry.ā You whispered, pausing in the middle of the hallway to lower yourself to his level, brushing your fingers through his hair, trying to soothe him as he stomped his feet on the ground. āI knowā¦ I knowā¦ Shhh, honey, itās okayā¦ā You kissed his forehead before lifting him up, trying to hide the tears that were building on your lashes. āWeāre gonna go on a planeā¦ You like planes.ā You murmured, trying to keep your tone steady as you wheeled your luggage through the hallway, not wanting your son to hear just how much you were struggling. āAnd weāre gonna go see Mickey Mouse, you love Mickey Mouse.āĀ
He grunted again, this time a sound of approval at the mention of Mickey Mouse, clapping his hands together. His happiness was the source of your own and you sighed softly when his feet had finally stopped kicking against you, his head resting against your shoulder instead. āWaitā¦ Y/N waitā¦ā Namjoons voice called from behind you, his hair disheveled and his clothes a wrinkly mess as he stumbled out of the bedroom. The sound of his voice had your son turning, kicking his feet again as he reached out for his father. āLet me helpā¦āĀ
You couldnāt show how annoyed you were, not in front of your son, and you would never go against your son's wishes, so you swallowed back your reluctance and handed him over to Namjoon. āI told youā¦ That you shouldnāt come out when weāre leavingā¦ Heāll only be more upset.ā You tried to keep your voice light, a smile on your face as you said it, but the smile was anything but genuine, your teeth clenched so hard that you felt a cramp starting up in your jaw. āIf youād like, you can help carry the bags to the car. Iāll carry him down.ā You tried to sound cheerful, as if your marriage hadnāt practically ended last night, but the task was becoming harder and harder with each passing second.Ā
āI love you, Namgilā¦ā Namjoon murmured to your son, petting his own hand over your sonās hair, the tiniest trickle of a tear moving down his face as he said it. āYouāre gonna have a fun time at Disney Worldā¦ right? Youāll see Mickey?ā Your son cheered excitedly once more at Mickey Mouseās name, his hands clapping together on Namjoons cheeks before holding them firm, grunting quietly in frustration as his eyebrows furrowed. āWhatās he doing?ā Namjoon questioned, his eyes glancing over at you as you watched your son.Ā
āHeās trying to tell you he loves youā¦ā You said matter-of-factly, your son finally relaxing once you had let Namjoon know. āI canāt miss the flight, I booked this time specifically for him.ā You added, reaching out to grab your son from Namjoon. āI have to get him on the plane before anyone else, I have to make sure he doesnāt have to use the bathroom, I have to get him in his seat and get his headphones on and make sure his movie starts up and that heās comfortable so he doesnāt have a meltdownā¦ People donāt take too lightly to that, so I have to go.āĀ
Namjoon shook his head, but carefully handed your son over to you, kissing the top of his head as he did. āWhy do you use commercial? You could have used the private plane, it would be way more comfortable for you and him. You wouldnāt have to worry about people complaining eitherā¦ Not that they understandā¦ā You eyed him incredulously, baffled at the nerve he had to say it that way. āI donāt understand eitherā¦ Not as much as you doā¦ But Iām trying to help here, for christ's sake, Y/Nā¦ Let me help.āĀ
Nobody was yelling, and while you normally wouldnāt have noticed the slight raise in volume of Namjoons voice, now you could, and so could your son who was covering his ears and kicking at your sides. āShhhā¦ Shhh, itās alright, honeyā¦ Weāre quietā¦ Itās okay, weāre being quiet.ā You cooed to him, rubbing circles in his back as you glared up at Namjoon. āCould you pleaseā¦ Just bring the bags to the car so I can get him buckled in?āĀ
He nodded slowly, taking a deep breath as he grabbed the handles to yours and Namgils bags and carried them down the stairs and out the front door. You followed behind, still trying to soothe your son with back rubs and hair pats, his fingers gripping onto your shirt as you got him outside, practically running to your car once you were out of the house. āLet me help you buckle him in, just start up the car, Iāve got it.ā Namjoon said, holding his arms out for your son, and you didnāt really feel like you had much time to spare, passing him over to Namjoon and running around to the front of the car to start the engine.Ā
āIāmā¦ okayā¦ā Your son said, the sound of his voice causing you to whip around in your seat. He was holding his plush Koya out to Namjoon who seemed frozen, as still as a statue as he looked down at him. āIāmā¦ okayā¦.ā He repeated, thrusting the stuffed animal into Namjoons hands with a wide smile. It wasnāt the first time you had actually heard him speak, but it was the first time he had used words with Namjoon, something that clearly had your husband shocked.Ā
āIsnātā¦ This is your car Koyaā¦ Donāt you need him, buddy?ā Namjoon asked, looking down at the plushy that was now in his hands, the tears coming more steadily now as his fingers dug into the blue koala. āYou donāt need to give him to meā¦ Iām okay too.ā He tried to reassure his son, but Namgil only shook his head, kicking his feet against the seat in front of him in agitation.Ā
āNo!ā He shouted, kicking his feet harder as his little hands balled up into fists. āIāmā¦ okay! I canā¦ talk! Iāmā¦ okay!ā The words hit you like a brick, your nails digging into your legs as you bit the insides of your cheeks, anger at yourself for the argument the night before getting so out of hand that your son obviously heard it, and anger at Namjoon for having said what he did, the words clearly sticking with your son.Ā
All you could do was shake your head, staring at Namjoon who looked like he had just been punched, and at that moment, you felt that it would have been better if he had been. āPlease, shut the doorā¦ We need to get to the airport.ā You whispered, trying your best not to show your son how upset you truly were. āWhen I get back homeā¦ Iām doneā¦ I just want you to know that so youāre not expecting anythingā¦ Iām not that kind of person.ā You said, watching as Namjoon robotically shut your son's door without another word, backing away from the car so you could pull out of the driveway.Ā
There was a sense of finality in the actions that had your eyes welling up, struggling to keep them clear so you could drive. What had happened the night before, what had happened so many timesā¦ It had all led up to this moment.Ā
Namjoon sat on the edge of the bed, Koya held tightly in his arms as he tried to think of what to do, what he could do, as if there was something that could possibly make any of this better. As much as he wanted to believe there was something that would fix things, something that would make you come back to him, but he knows now that heās done too much, he went too far, and not only did he hurt you, but he had hurt his son as well. He didnāt even know how he was supposed to live with himself knowing what he had done, seeing the pain that he had caused in yours and his son's eyes.Ā
The tears had come immediately after he had stepped over the threshold into the house again and they hadnāt stopped since, the light blue fabric that was Koya had since turned a darker shade from the tears that had puddled on top of the plushies head. The rain came soon after, pouring from the sky much like his tears poured from his eyes, beating against the windows of the bedroom that felt far too large now. He could barely even see through the glass, the trees out in the front yard had disappeared behind the raindrops that covered his window and the sudden sense of panic and fear and dread that overwhelmed him when he thought of you driving in these conditions couldnāt be pushed back.Ā
He spent the better half of the next 30 minutes straightening up the already practically spotless master bedroom, continually glancing out the window just to catch the dismal gray sky alight with the bolts of lightning that struck close by, followed by the house shaking thunder. The airport couldnāt possibly allow any of the flights to take off in this kind of weather, and while he wasnāt too fond of the idea of you and your son stuck in a crowded airport, heād rather the two of you stay there than take your chances on the roads.Ā
As he continued cleaning the room, a glint of light came from the foot of the bed, catching his eye immediately, causing him to drop down on his knees to pick it up. The rings that you had thrown in a fit of angry passion were still on the floor which meant that they werenāt on your fingers, the one place where he thought theyād stay for the rest of the forever that he wanted to spend with you. āIām sorryā¦ā He whispered, as if his apology would be heard by you, and as much as he wished it would be, he knew that the only audience he had were the 4 walls of the bedroom that he had encased himself within.Ā
Another roaring roll of thunder seemed to have the entire foundation of the house vibrating beneath him, that vibration only continuing as his phone rang out on the nightstand beside the bed. In a hurry, he crawled across the floor that he had been sitting on, snatching his phone to answer the call before even checking the ID. āHey, weāre canceling the meeting today, thereās no way weāre all making it to the office.ā Jungkook said through the speaker, and all Namjoon could muster was a hum of agreement in response. āBang isnāt really sure when weāll be able to reschedule it for, so uhā¦ Enjoy some time with Y/N and Namgilā¦ Tell them I said hi too.āĀ
The rings that he held in his hand felt like freshly heated silver, as if the bands were still blazing red in his palm, but he knew that it was just the heat of his own anger boiling over inside of him. Angry at himself, angry at the world, angry at everything and everyone in the world that seemed to work so hard against him. It was like the universe wanted things to work out this way, but he wouldnāt allow it to be like that, he wouldnāt allow the universe to get its way, not this time, not when it came down to you and him, not when it came down to his family.Ā
Pushing himself up off the floor, he ran out of the bedroom and down the stairs, grabbing his keys off the keyring hook beside the door before flipping on the news. There was no reason to try to make it to the airport, to make it to you, if traffic were backed up. He would get there once the rain started to clear up, but he couldnāt risk himself and the lives of other people on the road for the sake of some romantic movie like reunion at the airport.Ā
āThe traffic isnāt looking very good if youāre heading in the direction of Incheon airport. A seven car accident has left road workers and emergency workers turning everyone around to head back home. We have no reports as of now on the status of the drivers and or passengers in these seven vehicles, although weāre hoping that they all make it out alright.ā The news anchor spoke as a live view of the accident was being shown on the screen, the helicopter flying right above the sight of it and the vehicles that had been involved in the accident were almost unrecognizable. āWeāll keep you updated on the status of the crash and the people that were involved as this story develops.āĀ
The sudden sinking feeling in Namjoons chest almost had him crumbling to the floor, and while he hadnāt been able to see the vehicles, something in him was just screaming, telling him that you and his son had been in that wreck, the thought of it sending him running to the sink in the kitchen, the urge to throw up overcoming him completely.Ā
His legs felt like noodles, his knees weak and the constant heavy breathing had him feeling like he was going to throw up again. He didnāt know what heād do if you and Namgil were in that crash, he didnāt even want to think about it, but as the light of the television flickered and the droning sound of the reporter filled the empty space around him, he knew that he needed to face the fact that it could be a possibility. āBreaking news now, the first car that has been pulled from the wreckage was a black 2022 Hyundai Palisade with a woman and a young boy inside. We canāt release any information on who these people are yet, but if this description sounds familiar to anyone that you know, please call in to the number at the bottom on your screen.āĀ
Sinking, thatās what it felt like as soon as he heard it. It was like a lightswitch had been flicked on, but he didnāt want to see the contents of the room, he wanted to shut it all out, he wanted to slam the door and pretend he hadnāt seen it at all. He knew what he had to do though, and his hand, as if on its own, reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out his phone to dial the number, praying that it was a coincidence, praying that you and your son werenāt the ones in that car.Ā
Guilt was the damndest thing, the way it could eat away at a person, the reasons for feeling it sometimes strange and morbid in their own way. It wasnāt exactly survivor's guilt, but that didnāt change the fact that heād rather be dead than standing over the tiny hospital bed where his son lay connected to breathing tubes and IVās in the ICU.Ā
You were in the next room over, and he had to take turns walking between each room, unsure of how he was even able to manage that much. Every step he took felt like he was carrying the weight of a million pounds on his shoulders, his own breathing unsteady as he took in the image of the two people he loved most in the world, looking like they were on the verge of leaving him.Ā
The Koya was still gripped in his arms as he walked between the rooms, the rings that you had thrown were being worn on his pinky finger, like they were the last two things connecting him to you and Namgil. āSir, maybe youād like to go down to the cafeteria and get something to eat or drink.ā One of the nurses said as she came into the room to check you over, writing something out on her clipboard as she did. He wished that he could see it, he wished that he could see what was written, but he feared that whatever it was was something that would only make the pain he felt worse.Ā
āThey were going to Disney Worldā¦ā He muttered in a raspy voice, a voice that he barely had from all the crying he had done. āI wasā¦ I was supposed to go with themā¦ But I couldnātā¦ā His voice broke at the end as he clutched tighter onto the plush koala in his hands. āMy sonā¦ He loves Mickey Mouseā¦ And he loves planes. His favorite food isā¦ is pizzaā¦ cheese pizzaā¦ And he loves apple juice. His favorite movie isā¦ Toy Storyā¦. And his favorite toy isā¦ Bullseyeā¦ From the movieā¦ Thatās my boyā¦.ā The nurse nodded in understanding, although he was sure that she didnāt truly understand why he was telling her all of these things, she most likely assumed that he was just having a breakdown, and maybe he was, but he needed someone to know that he did know his son, that he did love his son.Ā
āSirā¦ your son is going to be okay and so is your wifeā¦ā He glanced over to you, watching your chest rise and fall unnaturally with the help of the machine that you were hooked up to. āTheyāre going to be just fine, so please, go get something to eat and then get some rest, you need it.ā She nodded at him before pivoting and walking out of the room and leaving Namjoon alone with his thoughts once more, the silence of the room only broken by the soft beeps of the heart monitor beside your bed.Ā
How hypocritical it would be to get something to eat right now, when you and your son were being fed through IVās because both your mouths were filled with tubes that helped you to breathe. He was terrified to sleep, the unknown of the future lingering above his head like the dark clouds that had filled the sky the day of the accident. He was petrified of what heād possibly wake up to if he even tried to get a wink of sleep, and he couldnāt even fathom leaving the room to go to the cafeteria. So he didnātā¦ He stayed in the vicinity of the two rooms, going back and forth between them both until his legs couldnāt carry him anymore, until he broke down at the side of Namgils bed, holding onto his son's hand and silently begging him and you to be okay.Ā
āJoonā¦ you have to go home, get some sleep, weāll stay here with both of themā¦ Pleaseā¦ You need to look out for yourself too.ā Taehyung said with Jimin murmuring in agreement right behind him, the younger members hand placed firmly on Namjoons shoulder in a sentiment of support and sympathy. āWeāre worried about youā¦ā He added, but Namjoon wasnāt having it, the words only further proved what you had said the night before all of this had happened.Ā
āAlways about meā¦ā Namjoon muttered, shaking his head, his disheveled hair flopping around his sullen face. āIāve looked out for myself enoughā¦ Thatās all I ever didā¦ Thatās why theyāre here. Ifā¦ If I had gone with themā¦ This wouldnāt have happenedā¦ Or Iād at least be going through it with them. Iāve been selfish, and I always thought that he and her would always justā¦ be thereā¦ That sheād always put up with my shitā¦ And now lookā¦ā A quiet sob escaped him as his forehead fell against the edge of his son's bed, a spot where he had accidentally passed out every night for the past 5 days.Ā
āYou canāt think like that.ā Jimin whispered, moving to squat down beside Namjoon. āYou canāt blame yourself for what happenedā¦ That storm came out of nowhere. No one had been able to predict it, and there were a lot of other accidents all over the areaā¦ā Words of what seemed like an attempt to be reassurance fell upon deaf ears as Namjoon continued to shake his head, weeping into the bedside. āY/N wouldnāt want you to beat yourself up over this, and neither would heā¦ If youāre not going to go home, at least grab something to eat and take a nap on the couch. You couldnāt possibly be comfortable right nowā¦āĀ
āAnd who am I to enjoy the luxury of comfort when my wife and son have tubes shoved down their throats because they canāt even breathe on their own? Surely theyāre not comfortable right now, so why should I be?ā He took a shaky breath, letting it out slowly before turning to look at the two men who had become brothers to him, his eyes blotchy, red and puffy from the countless tears that had spilled from them. āI just want them to be okayā¦ā He practically whimpered, curling into himself as he broke down once again, both of the guys falling to the floor beside him and holding onto him, a last ditch effort to hold together the man that had been their leader for so long.Ā
āMmphā¦ā You groaned as you shifted your body to climb out of the car, one hand holding onto the handle as your other hand worked to push you from the seat. You didnāt remember much, all you could remember was the fear that squeezed you like a vice grip as you tried to control your car from plowing into the two others that had already crashed in front of you. All that had run through your head was your son, wanting nothing more to protect him and hoping, praying that he had been strapped in well enough in his booster seat that he would be okay.Ā
The two of you had been okay, that was the crazy thing, you had pumped the brakes enough that when you hit the car in front of you, it hadnāt even been hard enough to leave much more than a small scratch in your fender. It wasnāt your initial crash that had been the problem, it was the four other cars that had come behind you, and somehow your car had ended up on the bottom of everyone else's.Ā
To say that you and your son were lucky would just be too minute a term. By some miracle, the two of you had made it out alive, although in critical condition, but after a month and a half in the hospital, you were finally able to go back home. āLet me help you, I can help youā¦ā Namjoon said as he ran around the front of the car to hold the door open for you, his hand offered out for you to grab, and you quickly did, clenching your teeth as you finally planted your feet on the ground.Ā
He let out a sigh of relief when your hand stayed in his, but you could read it on his face, see it in his eyes that he was still upset. āPlease stop blaming yourself, Joonā¦ Itās not like youāre the one who brought on the storm. Just be happy that weāre here.ā You smiled at him, letting his hand drop from your own as you looked towards the passenger doors. āCan you bring him inā¦? I donāt think Iāll be able to carry him.āĀ
He rolled his eyes at your joke, thinking that it was far too soon for you to be making fun at your current state, but then again, there was no point in staying sad about it, it would only bring you down and slow down the healing process. It was much easier to laugh about it, in the hypothetical sense, because it helped you to forget just how bad it really was.Ā
āI should have asked the guys to come over, they would have been able to help you while I get him.ā Namjoon murmured, his back turned to you as he carefully lifted Namgil out of the car, cradling him against his chest delicately as he walked towards the house. Each of his steps were slow and calculated, trying to figure out how to move so that Namgil wouldnāt feel much of it. āAnd please donāt try to tell me that youāre okay, your ribs are still broken. Itās a miracle that they didnāt puncture your lungsā¦āĀ
His body shuddered at the thought of it, the thought of potentially having lost you, so you quickly snapped your mouth shut, not wanting to upset him more. āLay him in our bedā¦ I donāt think Iāll be able to fit into his and be comfortable, plus itāll be easier for me to care for him.ā You said, following slowly behind Namjoon, trying your best to refrain from grunting or wincing too much.Ā
Namjoon sighed quietly, nudging open the front door with his knee and holding it for you as you walked in before going straight to the stairs. āIāll help you up once I get him inā¦ Donāt try to get up the stairs by yourself, pleaseā¦ If not for me, at least for him. I know he wouldnāt want you to end up back in the hospital.ā He said on his way up, his words having you stop at the landing, silently grateful for the small break that you had, leaning against the railing and trying to collect yourself, telling yourself that the pain wasnāt as bad as it felt.Ā
āIām gonna have to get a stairlift or something put in here so I can get up and down the stairsā¦ He still needs to eat and drinkā¦ā You told nobody in particular as Namjoon made his way back down the stairs, his arm wrapping loosely around your waist once he reached you. āMaybe I can just get a mini fridge and a microwave for the bedroom for the time being, just so that I donāt have to leave him.ā You were trying to figure things out, and for the most part, Namjoon was silent, listening to everything you had to say as he helped you up to the bedroom.Ā
Your son was awake, propped up on two pillows in the middle of the bed, watching the tv screen that hung over the dresser in the bedroom. Mickey Mouse was on, and for the first time since you had woken up in the hospital, you could see a faint smile on his face, the sight of it was enough to have you tearing up. āLay down and get comfortableā¦ā Namjoon urged as he walked you to the bed, his arm never letting you go until you were laying down and covered up. āAndā¦ could you stop talking as if youāre going to be doing this by yourself.ā He whispered, lowering himself down next to your side of the bed, his voice quiet enough that only youād be able to hear it.Ā
āI really donāt want to argue with you right nowā¦ā You whispered back, your nails gripping the blankets and pulling them up higher to your chin. āI just need to figure things out for when you go back to workā¦ I just need to get myself better so I can make him betterā¦ Okay. Donāt worry about it.ā That was the end of it, at least you wanted it to be the end, you didnāt want to come back home and immediately pick up where you had left off. The least he could have given you was one day to get comfortable in your home again.Ā
He shook his head, grabbing your hand and intertwining his fingers with your own and the feeling of his hand in yours, his skin against your own, it was something that you hadnāt felt in so long, not in this way, it was almost shocking to you. āIām staying here with you, and with him. Iām not leavingā¦ Iām notā¦ I wonāt, not for anything.ā He murmured, his thumb brushing over yours as he looked into your eyes, wanting you to see the sincerity that burned within them. āIāll be right here the whole time.ā He emphasized his words, pulling the rings out of his pocket and sliding them onto your finger. āI messed up and I missed out on a lot of thingsā¦ But Iām not going to do that anymore. Iām not going to be an idiot anymore, at least Iāll try my best not to beā¦ But I love you, and I love him, and the two of you are my whole worldā¦ Iād do anything for you two, and Iām sorry it took so long for me to realize what I truly had.ā His bottom lip trembled as it pressed against his upper lip, his nose twitching with silent sniffles.Ā
He was your husband, he was the father of your son, and he was the love of your life. He was genuine, and he was kind, albeit sometimes he didnāt use his head a lot, but he loved you and he loved his family, and that love was strong and it ran deep, that much you were sure of. You had heard the stories from the other guys during your recovery that he would go between the hospital rooms, and that heād refuse to sleep, and that they basically had to force feed him jell-o because he didnāt want to eat and they were worried heād end up in one of the rooms as well. At the end of the day, no matter how stressful things got, and no matter what happened, heād always come home to you, and on those days where you felt your worst, he was always there to lift you up and tell you how amazing you were. You needed him just as much as he needed you, and your son needed both of you.Ā
āHaveā¦ā You whispered quietly, not wanting to disturb the quiet snores of your sleeping son beside you. Namjoons head tilted in confusion as he absentmindedly toyed with the rings on your finger. āYou said hadā¦ Past tenseā¦ You still have us, weāre not going anywhere eitherā¦ It was only goodbye for a little while.ā
Authorās Notes: I was gonna try to wrap this arc up in this chapter but I really liked the way this one ended, so hopefully after next chapter weāll be moving on!Ā
She was surrounded by darkness. Cold, ominous darkness that seemed to press into her with a weight of its own.Ā
Although she could not see, she knew she was not alone. Without warning, the sounds of snarling wolves began surrounding her on all sides. No matter which way she ran they were always right next to her. She felt sharp teeth dig into her calf and she careened face first into the dirt as one of the wolves violently yanked her leg out from beneath her. As she tried to get back to her feet, the wolves nipping and shoving at her body making it much more difficult, a bright white light appeared about ten feet in front of her. Relief washed over her, and she rushed as fast as she could over to it. As she got closer, she saw that it was a shimmering orb, about one foot in diameter. Eagerly she reached out towards it, watching as itās bright light began to travel up her arm. She watched it with fascination for a few moments, when suddenly a burning sensation began to grow where the light was touching her. Immediately she pulled back, but it was too late. She was burning now, her face burning, her body burning, inside and out until it felt like the whole world was on fire.
And just like that Y/n was awake, though the burning sensation did not leave her. She felt a presence laying beside her, but her eyes would not allow themselves to open. And so she was forced to remain in the dark, her body still steadily burning.Ā
At least the wolves were gone.Ā
She wasn't sure how long she lay there before she heard footsteps approaching.Ā
"Any changes?" The voice that had just arrived asked. She could've sworn she knew them, but the fire crawling throughout her skin made it difficult to focus.
"I think she was having another nightmare, she was whimpering a lot." The presence beside her responded. Was she in a bed with them? Or maybe on a couch?
Suddenly something cold was laid across her forehead, and the relief it brought was instantaneous. The untouched parts of her face still stung but the burning in the rest of her body allowed itself to lessen.Ā
"You put it too low, the water's gonna drip into her eyes again." The person beside her shifted around and she felt the cold on her forehead being moved.Ā
"Jungkook for the last time it helps soothe the burns on her eyelids when the water drips, quit moving it around," The outside voice chastised. The coolness of what she assumed was a wet washcloth made it easier for her to think. Was that Hobi's voice?
"How come you can't heal her more anyways?" Jungkook asked, repositioning the washcloth yet again.Ā
"Well my magic mostly works by helping her body heal itself," Hobi explained, "but she's so weak right now IĀ have to focus on keeping her stable."
"Why don't we take her to a real doctor then? Couldnāt they fix her?"
"They wouldn't be doing much different than what I am right now, and I think she would prefer to stay home."
Jungkook paused for a moment, his fingers ever so gently touching the side of her face. "Do you think she's in pain?"Ā
The silence that filled the room seemed to answer his question, and he continued. "If they had just-"
"Enough, Jungkook. Arguing about it isn't going to change what happened, okay? He's gonna tell her when she's better, but just leave it alone for now." Hobi sounded tired, and Y/n felt worry filling her chest. What had she missed while she was out?
Jungkook's only response was to move closer to her, wrapping an arm protectively around her waist. Hobi sighed, and she heard his footsteps fade into the distance once more. Y/n felt the washcloth being adjusted again, and then she slipped back into unconsciousness.Ā
The next time she woke, the fire in her body had subsided. She still felt unseasonably warm and utterly exhausted, but it was not nearly as bad as it was last time. Someone was in the bed with her again, talking to another person in the room.Ā
"You know she's not in a coma right? You don't have to read to her." It sounded like Jungkook was still next to her, and she wondered how much time had passed since she was last conscious.Ā
"And you don't have to stay in the same bed as her the whole time, but here we are,ā replied the other voice. Was it Jimin this time? Even without the incessant burning, the exhaustion made thinking difficult.Ā
"I'm watching over her," Jungkook stated matter-of-factly.
"Yeah, you've made that pretty clear." Jimin said, sounding a little annoyed. "Speaking of, when are you gonna let them visit her?"
"Is never an option?"
Jimin sighed. "You know how bad they feel about what happened Kookie, you can't keep blaming them."
"Well when she's no longer in pain because of what Namjoon did and what Tae didn't do, then I'll let her decide if she wants to be around them."
"Jungkook-"
"If Tae had done a better job protecting her she wouldn't be in such a bad state!" Jungkook had sat up now,Ā clearly agitated. "If he can't be trusted to keep her safe then I'll have to do it myself."
Jimin fell silent. A few moments passed, and she felt his hand brush a strand of hair out of her face, coming to a rest on her forehead. His touch stung, but she didnāt have the energy to flinch away.Ā
āI think her fever broke, she doesnāt feel nearly as hot as she did yesterday,ā he said, quieter now.
ā...yeah. Iāve been keeping an eye on it,ā Jungkook responded. āDo you think she might wake up soon?ā
āLetās hope so,ā Jimin replied. He picked up his book and began reading as Jungkook settled back down beside her, and Y/n found herself drifting back into sleep as she tried to piece together what everyone was so upset about.
When she woke up again, the space beside her was empty. She listened for a moment to see if anyone was in the room with her, but detected no voices or movement. Forcing her eyes open, she looked around the room. It was dark, but she could make out potted plants neatly lined on a windowsill that still had the curtains drawn-back, and she figured she must be in Jinās bed.
The other times she had woken up, there had always been at least one person in the room with her, so the sudden silence sat uneasily in her stomach. Gathering all her energy, she pushed herself into a sitting position. The dizziness that washed over her was almost enough to send her back into unconsciousness, but she pushed through it. She paused for a moment to let her head settle before looking around the room again.Ā
From her new vantage point she could see a dark shape of Hobi lying in his bed, sound asleep. His wings were sprawled out behind him, glimmering in the moonlight like a fresh blanket of snow. Seeing him there eased some of her worries, but she knew she wouldnāt be able to rest easily until she knew everyone was okay.
Giving herself till the count of three, she swung her legs off the bed as her muscles screamed in protest. Her body wanted nothing more than for her to lay back down and sleep for another month, but she stubbornly ignored it. Slowly, but surely, she stood up. The whole world seemed to shift and sway around her as she began to take unsteady steps towards the hallway.
She leaned heavily against the doorframe as soon as she arrived at that milestone. Her hair, unwashed and tangled, had fallen in front of her eyes during her expedition, and she pushed it out of her face with annoyance. As her fingers skimmed her cheek however, pain shot through her skin. She flinched back reflexively, wondering what had happened to cause such injuries. Delicately she explored her skin with her fingertips, and found it unusually rough and generating an abnormal amount of heat. Were those burn marks all over her face?
Uneasily she pushed the thoughts to the back of her mind, and began to move down the hallway. She had to know that they were safe, especially since there was clearly a lot of tension between everybody right now. She found herself wondering if she was to blame for the state of things as she made her way towards a light in the living room. It was slow going, and she had to lean the majority of her body weight against the wall, but she was making progress.Ā
As she passed the bathrooms, she noticed that one of the doors was cracked open. Pausing for a moment, she listened intently to see if anyone was inside, and was surprised to hear the sound of soft snores coming from inside. The thought of someone asleep on the toilet made her smile, and decided to let them be as she continued her trek towards the living room.
Eventually she arrived at the edge of the hallway. She could see Jin and Namjoon talking in hushed tones, and felt relief wash over her. Being unsure if her loved ones were okay hurt more than any of the physical pain she had endured, and she was glad to see that at least the majority of her family had been accounted for since she first woke up. She took another step forward, leaving the support of the wall on unsteady feet as she tried to speak. At first nothing came out, but when she tried again she managed to croak out a few words.
āYouāre both okayā¦ā she said, her voice rough from disuse.
Instantly the two boys looked up at her, eyes wide. Before she knew it Jin was in front of her, checking her over for any new injuries. Namjoon however remained still as stone on the couch, looking as if he was staring at a ghost.
āY/n what are you doing out of bed!ā Jin exclaimed. āJungkook was supposed to be watching you.ā
āI needed-ā she stopped to clear her throat, āI needed to make sure everyone was okayā¦ā
Jinās expression softened, and he placed a hand gingerly on her head. āWeāre all okay Y/n, weāve all just been worried about you.ā
āTae is okay?ā she asked.
āYeah, Tae's fine. We found him not long after you collapsed and got you both home straight away.ā He answered.
"I'm really gladā¦" she said, smiling softly. Her mission finally completed, she felt her legs buckle underneath her, and she collapsed into Jinās arms.Ā
"Easy now,ā Jin cooed as he caught her. āLetās get you back into bed, Y/n.ā
Effortlessly he scooped her up bridal style, and began carrying her down the hallway. As they passed the bathroom, Y/n piped up. āI think Jungkookās asleep in the bathroom, I heard snoring coming from inside as I walked by.ā
Jin laughed softly, making Y/n smile. āOf course he is. In his defense, he hasnāt been sleeping well. Heās too insistent that he has to keep an eye on you at all times.ā
āDonāt tell him I got out of bedā¦ I donāt want him to think he has to push himself even more to make sure Iām always being watched,ā Y/n worried.
āAlright, I wonāt tell him anything, as long as you tell him to get more rest the next time you talk to him,ā Jin reassured.
āDeal.ā
They arrived back in Jinās room, and he gingerly set her down back onto the bed.
āHey Jin?ā
āYeah?ā he replied, covering her with a blanket.
"Everytime I wake up everyone seems to be arguingā¦ is that because of me?"
Jin looked at her sympathetically. "Itās not your fault, Y/n. Tensions have been a little high but thatās just because we want you to get better, and we were scared that you got so hurt. This will all blow over in no time, you just need to focus on recovering, okay?"
She was silent for a few more moments. "Iāve never transformed like that beforeā¦ I was just so scared Tae was gonna get hurtā¦"
"I know, sweetheart," Jin reassured, taking her hand within his own. "You did what you could to protect someone you love. We all understand that."
"I was so scaredā¦" she murmured. As she drifted back into sleep, she thought about how nice it felt to hold his hand.
Sunlight filtered into the room the next morning, and Y/n woke up to the sound of someone singing. The voice was quiet yet effortlessly beautiful, and as she opened her eyes she saw Jungkook next to her once more. He hadn't noticed her wake yet, still absently tracing shapes onto the back of her hand as he sang.Ā
She stayed still for a few minutes,Ā basking in the sound of his voice. She had heard him sing before, but this one felt different. It was soft, and intimate, much like the feeling of someone caressing your cheek. She couldn't make out the lyrics, but it sounded like some sort of lullaby. Or maybe a love song?
Eventually she decided she should let him know that she was awake now,Ā and she turned her hand over to intertwine their fingers. Immediately he looked up at her in surprise, and as he saw her open eyes staring back at him he broke out into a huge grin.
"Y/n!" He exclaimed, practically jumping on top of her so he could wrap his arms around her. "You're finally awake I've been so worried I missed you so much!!!!!"
She giggled as the dragon boy nuzzled into her neck, a deep rumble emanating from his chest. She never knew that dragons could purr. "I'd say I missed you too Kookie but you were always right next to me whenever I woke up!"
"Well I had to watch over you and make sure you were okay," he explained, his breath warm against her skin.Ā
"I know," she smiled. "It was nice always knowing you were right there if I needed anything. How long was I out anyways?"
"Two full days, today would've been the third morning that you didn't wake up."
She was silent for a few moments, "I'm sorry if I scared you guysā¦"
Jungkook lifted his head to stare at her seriously. "You should be!" He scolded. "You're not allowed to ever get hurt or sick again, okay? You have to stay safe for all our sakes or I'll have to handcuff us together so I can always be there to protect you."
Y/n giggled at the thought. "Okay, I'll be more careful from now on," she promised.Ā
Jungkook settled his face back into the crook of her neck, breathing in her scent. They sat in silence, enjoying the feeling of being wrapped in each otherās arms, Y/n running her hand along his back. After all the pain and uncertainty in the last few days, it was nice to be held and to know she was safe now.
"Does it hurt?" He asked, breaking the stillness in the room.
Y/n hesitated, wondering how much to tell him. The fever was finally gone, but her body felt like it was filled with rocks. Not to mention the stinging in her face whenever she so much as raised her eyebrows.Ā
āWell, itās way better than when I first was conscious, so thatās good! Iām mostly just really tired,ā she admitted with a sigh.
āThen go back to bed! You still need more rest so you can recoverā Jungkook chastised.
āNooooo,ā she whined, pulling him even closer to her. āIāve already slept for two whole days, I want to spend some time with my Kookie before I sleep more!"
Even without seeing his face, she could feel him grin against her skin as his purring got louder. "I guess that's an acceptable excuse," he said, trying to hide his delight.Ā Ā
"Did I miss anything while I was asleep?" She asked.Ā
"...No, we were just waiting for you to wake up," he answered, unconvincingly.Ā
"Jungkookā¦"
Before she could press him further, she heard footsteps approaching down the hall. As she turned to look, Jimin appeared in the doorway, holding a tray with two plates of chocolate chip pancakes and two glasses of juice.
"Y/n!!!!" He exclaimed, quickly setting down the tray and rushing over to her side. "How are you feeling? Are you hungry? Are you in pain? Should I go get Hobi?"
She paused for a moment, trying to comprehend his barrage of questions. "Uhhh I'm okay, yeah I could use some food, the pain is manageable, and you don't need to bug him."
Before she even finished what she was saying Jimin was busy collecting all the pillows from Hobi's bed. "Are you able to sit up?"
"Yeah, I got it," Y/n assured. "Kookie, you're gonna have to move though."
The dragon boy sat up with a slight pout, giving Jimin a dirty look for interrupting their cuddling session. They watched with concern as she slowly but surely pushed herself into a sitting position. As much as she tried to hide it, the pain it caused was clear on her face. When she was finally up, Jimin placed the extra pillows behind her so she could lean back and still eat.Ā
"Here, we still had some pancakes from the other day," Jimin said, placing the tray on her lap. "I brought some for me and Jungkook but since you're up you can have my share!"
"Nonsense!" She asserted. "There are six pancakes so we can all have two!"
Jimin began to protest but she was already distributing the pancakes, leaving the two for her on the tray and handing Jimin and Jungkook their plates. "Now we can all enjoy the pancakes together!"
"What about utensi-" Jungkook started, but stopped with a giggle as he saw Y/n already scarfing down the pancake with her hands. It had been a while since she had properly eaten, so he didn't blame her. When they were done, Jimin brought the dishes out to the kitchen and then clambered into the bed with Y/n, much to Jungkook's annoyance.Ā
"There's not enough room Jimin," the dragon complained.
"Well maybe if you moved over more there would be," Y/n pointed out with a giggle. With an overly dramatic sigh Jungkook scooched over and soon Y/n was surrounded by snuggles on all sides, much to her delight.Ā
"Where's everyone else?" She asked, as Jungkook buried his face in the crook of her neck once more.Ā
"Hobi is sunning himself on the roof, and everyone else is working," Jimin answered, intertwining his fingers with hers.
She hummed in acknowledgement, and a comfortable silence fell on the three of them. Unfortunately, as much as Y/n wanted to stay awake to spend time with her family, the warm embrace of sleep called to her, and soon she found herself slipping away once again.Ā
When she finally woke, it was beginning to get dark. She mentally cursed herself for falling asleep again, and sighed as she stared up at the ceiling. Jungkook was gone again, but she could hear the sounds of conversation coming from down the hall. It seemed like she had woken up while they were eating dinner.
Before she could force herself up out of bed, the door to the room creaked open and someone slipped inside. She had closed her eyes to shield them from the sudden bright light from the hallway, but she recognized Yoongi's voice as he approached the side of the bed.Ā
"I know you're asleep," he whispered, "but I saw this on my way home from work andā¦ well I thought you might like it."
She felt him place something on the bed next to her. It seemed like some sort of plushie, but she couldn't tell what it was for sure without opening her eyes. Either way, he seemed to think she was still asleep, and she was curious to see if he too would say more than when she was awake.Ā
Sure enough, she sensed him hesitate for a moment, as if he was contemplating what to do next. Just as she was considering saying something, she felt him lean forwards, placing a gentle kiss on the top of her head.
"Get better soon," he whispered, adjusting the blanket on top of her.Ā
"Thank you, Yoongi," she whispered back, smiling up at him as his eyes finally adjusted to the light in the room.Ā
"I didn't- I wasn't- I was just checking your fever," he stuttered. Even in the dim light, she could see how flustered he was.Ā
"Mmm of course you were, because you're supposed to feel the top of my head instead of my forehead," she teased.Ā
"Well you- I didn't want to hurt your burns," he defended. "It doesn't matter anyways it was stupid enjoy your Stitch plushie."
"Wait Yoongi!" She called out, and he stopped with his hand on the door. "It was sweet, thank you, really. For the plushie and the get better kiss"
Although still clearly embarrassed, she saw his body relax. "It's no problem," he mumbled.Ā
There was a brief pause, and then it was her turn to be embarrassed. "Um, since you're here though, do you think you could help me to the bathroom?"
He laughed, and returned to the bed so he could scoop her up in his arms.
"I can walk you know," she pouted. "I just need a little help."
"Well you can walk yourself out of the bathroom then," he told her, amused. As they arrived at the bathroom, Yoongi gingerly placed her so she was standing, making sure she was steady before removing his hands.
"I'll uh, wait outside. Yell if you need anything." And just like that he was gone, the door shut between them.Ā
When she was done, she shuffled her way back to the hallway. As she opened the door, Yoongi held out his arm for her to steady herself on, and she gave him a grateful smile as she grabbed on.Ā
"Do you want to go say hi to everyone or go back to bed?ā He asked.
āI wanna go say hi!ā she said cheerfully.
Slowly they made their way back down the hallway, Yoongi matching the pace Y/n set. As they drew closer, she could smell the tantalizing scent of Jinās homemade hamburgers wafting down the hallway. Her stomach growled in response, much to her embarrassment, and she heard Yoongi chuckle beside her.
āI guess we should get some more food in you since youāre up,ā he suggested, eyes sparkling with amusement.
āDonāt tease me! Iāve been asleep for so long itās a miracle I havenāt wasted away,ā she pouted.
āI wasnāt trying to-ā
Before he could finish what he was saying, Taehyung appeared around the corner. Even though she had been reassured that he was okay, she was almost overwhelmed with relief to actually see it in person. And it was clear to see that he felt the same way. As soon as he caught sight of her, she saw tears fill his eyes as he rushed to envelop her in his arms.
āY/n Iām so sorry I shouldāve stayed awake I shouldnāt have left you alone I didnāt even think that something like that was going to happen Iām so sorry itās all my fault.ā His voice cracked as he babbled, and she could feel his tears drip onto her shoulder.
āNo Tae please donāt blame yourself,ā she begged, feeling her own eyes fill with tears in response, āitās my fault I got hurt, I just got so scared and lost control, thereās nothing you couldāve done differently.ā
āBut if I had only-ā
āI think Tae has a point,ā Jungkook interrupted, appearing behind Taehyung and circling around Y/n so he could wrap his arms around her waist protectively.
āJungkook, weāve been over this,ā Yoongi warned, giving the dragon an annoyed look. āIt was an accident, and blaming each other is only going to cause more in-fighting. Let it go.ā
Y/n turned to look up at Jungkook in shock. āYouāve been fighting with Tae? Because of me?ā
āOnly because he didnāt do a good job protecting you,ā he defended, but as Y/n stared up at him with tears still in her eyes, he felt his conviction wavering.
āI donāt ever want you guys to fight, especially not because of me,ā Y/n pleaded. āYou guys were such good friends, and I want you to all be happy. Please donāt be mad at him anymore Kookie, he did everything he could.ā
Jungkook sighed, trying to look anywhere but her pleading eyes. āI guess I could try to forgive him, for your sake,ā he grumbled, punctuating his words with a kiss to her cheek. Even though his kiss stung a bit, Y/n still felt her cheeks heat up in response. As she looked away bashfully, she didnāt see the smug smirk the dragon boy shot at Tae.Ā
āCome on Y/n, letās go get you some food,ā Yoongi intervened, prying the girl from between the other two.Ā
Her recovery was slow, but steady. During her first night properly awake she ate four hamburgers and then fell asleep on top of her fifth, much to the amusement of the rest of the family. Jungkook stayed home with her every day, barely leaving her side, and for the first couple of days she had healing sessions with Hobi every night. However she quickly realized how much of a toll the constant healing was taking on the angel, and refused to let him treat her anymore, stating that the burns would heal fine on their own. The boys tried to argue with her on this, but at this point it was doing more harm to Hobi than it was good to her, and she refused to budge on the matter.
At some point she was moved to Jungkook's bed so Jinās back could have a break from the uneven surface of the couch, and the dragon moved to sleeping in the living room instead. She had tried to protest, arguing that they could at least share the bed, but the other boys seemed pretty against that particular idea.Ā
During this time, Namjoon barely spoke to her. He didn't outright ignore her, but he kept all his answers short and never initiated the conversation. This change in attitude left her feeling hurt and confused. Was he really that scared of her now? Whenever she pressed the others on the issue, they gave her dismissive answers and changed the subject, which frustrated her even further. She would rather be upfront about the problem than continue pretending there wasn't one.Ā
It weighed heavily on her mind day in and day out, and she found herself on the back porch one night,Ā contemplating what to do when she heard the door open behind her.Ā
"Y/nā¦ what are you doing out here?" It was Namjoon, looking just as wary as he did everytime he looked at her lately.Ā
"Oh, you're finally talking to me again?" She snapped, and she winced at how aggressively it had come out. "...I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say it like that."
"No, I'm the one who should be apologizing," he said, coming over to stand next to her by the railing. "I'm sorry I've been avoiding you, I justā¦ well I was scared of having this conversationā¦"
The sounds of the forest filled the silence between them as both considered their next words carefully.Ā
"I've spent a lot of my life being scared," Y/n admitted, staring intently into the dark treeline. "So I never really learned what to do if I end up becoming something to be afraid of." She sighed, letting her head drop so she was looking at the ground. "I don't ever want to leave you guys, but, if this is a problem we can't overcome, I'll bow out. You shouldn't have to live in fear, and you were here first, so if I need to I'llā¦ I'llā¦"
Namjoon looked up at her in surprise. Tears were beginning to spill down her face, and she covered her mouth in an attempt to contain the sobs bubbling up from her chest. Had she really gotten the situation so backwards? For a moment he hesitated, unsure if his touch would be a welcome one, but the sight of her crying was too much not to wrap his arms around her.
"Oh Y/n, that's not it at all," he whispered, stroking her hair as he held her.
"What is it then, Namjoon?" She asked, untangling herself from his arms and taking a step back. "For weeks now you've barely spoken to me, barely even looked at me. Do you know how much that hurts? I just want to know what's wrong so we can fix this and be friends again. I miss you. I miss your hugs, and the way your ears twitch when you're dreaming, and the face you make when you break something. But even when you're standing right next to me, it feels like you're a million miles away. So just tell me how to fix this so things can go back to normal. Please Namjoon..."
Namjoon opened his mouth, and then let it fall shut. The cicadas cried out as the night breeze swirled around them, and Y/n waited for his answer. Without a word, he reached into his back pocket, and handed her a small gift box. It was white with a navy ribbon around it, and she looked at him in confusion as she opened it.Ā
"A knife?" She asked. "I don't understandā¦" The present glinted in the moonlight as she examined it, the soft glow highlighting it's lethal edge.
"A silver knife."
Immediately she slammed the box shut, staring at him in horror. "Namjoon where did you get this?! This is so dangerous to even have around you, why would you give this to me?!"
"I wanted to make sure you felt safe," he explained, unable to meet her eyes.Ā
"Namjoon, I still don't understand..."
"It was me in the woods when you were protecting Tae, and it was me when you were attacked three months ago. Iām the wolf who almost killed you."
His words hung in the air between them, heavy and irreversible, like the result of a mirror's first introduction to a hammer. She stared at him wordlessly as memories swarmed her mind. The shock of vicious teeth burying themselves into her flesh, blood soaking into the dirt, a struggle ensues. As she runs her leg dangles uselessly, and as she stops fear consumes her endlessly. The pain is near unbearable, but the fear is worse. Every breath and every broken twig and every stray scent are predators one step behind her, eager to finish her off for good. She can't slow down or relax, too aware that each breath may very well be her last.
But even when she is safe, when the pain has been eased, the fear remains, and the second she lets her guard down she is reminded why. The danger is always breathing down her neck, running only delays the inevitable and taking a stand leaves her burned and broken.Ā
Just for a heartbeat, she considers opening the box.Ā
But as the wave of memories subsides, she sees Namjoon in front of her. He still can't meet her eyes, his ears flat against his head. Those earsā¦
No, she had to keep those two beings separated in her head. If Namjoon had wanted to kill her, he had plenty of opportunities. This was one of her dearest friends, someone with whom she had swapped secrets and comforts back and forth like pokemon cards. This was the man who lost his wallet four times in the same store, someone who constantly asked for help finding something that was in his hands, the only being capable of breaking a Nokia. But he always held her with a gentle reverence, as if she were a glass sculpture, beautiful and fragile, and he was always there for her when she needed him.
"Howā¦ did it happen? I thought you usually didn't hunt. " She was clearly hesitant, but she hadn't run just yet. It was a start.Ā
"Time got away from us, and the full moon arrived before I could prepare," he admitted. "I can remember a strong hunger, and then I remember blood, and then pain, and the last thing I remember was watching a deer run awayā¦ā
She was silent, and he continued. āY/nā¦ you have to know how sorry I am for what happened. I was going to tell you butā¦ I didnāt want to scare you off. We all love you so much, I couldnāt bear to put your position here in jeopardy. But then I got so excited when I found you in the woods I didnāt even think to turn backā¦ and you got hurt again because of that. If I could go back I would undo all of the pain I caused you, but I know that isn't possible. You don't have to forgive me, but pleaseā¦ don't leave. Don't punish the rest of them for something I did."
She was silent for a long time, so long that by the end of it she was wondering if she even knew how to speak anymore, or if she were permanently rendered mute by the sharp edges of this exposed truth.Ā
"I'm scared Namjoonā¦" her voice was only a whisper, almost lost among the sounds of the night. "I don't want to be, because I know it's you and I love you, butā¦ those deep-rooted instincts to keep myself safe and run and hide till the danger passes are running wild within me. I don't want to go, but for so long the only answer I've known is running. I don't know how else to handle this."
"Wellā¦ for someone who's spent her whole life running, you've got a lot of fight in you. Twice now you've kicked my ass, but maybe you can use that spirit to fight for the future you've earned, here, safe with us. Even if it just means fighting your own instincts, don't let me or you or anyone else take this place from you. It is yours, and you belong here."Ā
Namjoon stepped away from her, moving towards the stairs to the driveway. "I'm gonna go spend the night in a hotel or something, you stay here and sleep on it. We can talk again tomorrow."
Y/n watched wordlessly as he got into the car and drove off. She wasn't sure how long she stood there, watching the spot where she had last seen his headlights, before finally going back inside.
āI want you to be happy. I want you to laugh a lot. I donāt know what exactly Iāll be able to do for you, but Iāll always be by your side.ā
āĀ Kim Seokjin, the FoolĀ 7/7
Servant |Ā Saber, the Son of the Sun God
āŗ āSeven boys, raised since birth into Seven Magi Masters, battle it out in order to obtain the ultimate prizeāthe Holy Grail, a magical artifact capable of granting its wielder any wish. Are they all still the boys they once knew?ā
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im so in love with the aesthetics of this mv trust me, its a good 10/10 and the colour saturation yESSSSS and im back with another fic rec ;-)Ā
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lets start~
1) Friends?
by @captainwhysoseriousfan
a jungkook x y/n ficĀ
oneshotĀ
youve known jungkook for a while, heck, he was your best friend and somehow along those lines, he developed a crush for you, okay prolly more than that, so when he finally confesses to youā¦.
2) Dare
by @mlkygguk
a jimin x y/n ficĀ
police man au, best friends au
oneshotĀ
you and jimin are best friends but the thing about you two is that you both will never back down from a dare, started out in fourth grade but even as adults, it still exists, any dare was possible except him to dare you to marry him
( i love this plot so so much )
3) Lock and Key
by @btsmutimagines
a jimin x y/n ficĀ
oneshotĀ
4) Pepero Day
by @kittae
a yoongi x y/n ficĀ
best friend au
oneshotĀ
it was another one of those valentineās day, yoongi coming over to accompany you through this holiday but when some tension escalates over the last peperoā¦
5) Late Night
by @btsxyou
a hoseok Ā x y/n ficĀ
oneshotĀ
youve always been around to help hoseok out especially after his recent relationship, nothing was ever in order in his house and so you decided to help him out a bit until he came back one day to you in his house, showing his gratitude to youĀ
6) Ask and you shall receive
by @floralseokjin
a hoseok x y/n ficĀ
sugar daddy au
ongoing seriesĀ
hoseok knew his boundaries and wanted you to be comfortable with this agreement but somehow you ended up wanting more, even if it means readjusting the agreementĀ
7) I do ( want to love you )Ā
by @taeverie
a jimin x y/n ficĀ
oneshotĀ
jimin and you had so many differences, one major one would be the different worlds youre both living in, his affluent one compared to your simple one yet you both could come to agree that you both love each otherĀ
lastly
8) After Hours
by @war-of-hormoan
a yoongi x y/n ficĀ
tattoo au, rapper au
oneshotĀ
this is all for this fic rec, another one up soon~
