#btssarmy

Did I tell you that after the Festa dinner, in all the days that I became an ARMY that's the day I cried the most? It's also the 2nd time I cried the most during the pandemic. First, when the man I loved the most, my father figure died last 2021. Second? After the Festa dinner, I cried and cried until I felt that there was no water inside my body. And the day after that? The day was so gloomy. I could vividly remember the color of the gray sky and as I looked up, saw the rain start to fall. People would think that I was being dramatic, but it felt like the heavens are crying too. I tried to cheer myself up but then as I entered a cafe, I heard a song that played the lyrics "only love can hurt like this" (I don't know the title of the song..but perhaps that's the title.

So, when the announcement for enlistment was dropped, I did not cry or anything. Although some of my veteran army friends, like me, cried again, I did not. Perhaps, I was preparing for it for years. Or perhaps it's not yet synching in me. They were shocked because that was my reaction.

But Astronaut came, and that's when I cried again.

I realized that every time, Bangtan showed or bared themselves to us through songs, through their talks, and confesses to us how they love and trust us, that's when I cry. I cry because, same, I want to do as much as I can to show them one thing, the same thing that they felt about us. I cry because, yes, I love them too beyond being the artists that basically saved my life (so fuck parasocial thing), but as human beings too.

Only true ARMY can understand what I'm blabbering about, but yeah.

In love it's not always happiness (although we always wish for that), In loving people, we experience pain and joy together until we pass all through those things and the greatest of everything remains, love.