#bts authors

you’re pretty sure you fell asleep close to six in the morning and according to the clock on your bed stand it’s already 1:30 but somehow you still feel so, so groggy despite getting seven and a bit hours of sleep 

you peel an eye open reluctantly, staring at the bright vibrating rectangle for a few seconds before you drag your arm up lazily to grab it because something crazy must be happening if the group chat is chirping away like this 

you’ve had your phone on do not disturb for the past week (except for the few times lisa clearly hit the ‘notify anyway’ button to get your attention) so you’ve kind of been out of the loop but being present and a functioning member of society isn’t exactly the first thing on your mind 

people are right when they say time just melds together when you’re going through a breakup because you honest to god do not even know what day of the week it is 

“okay, what’s going on…” you mutter to yourself, voice thick with sleep as you roll over onto your back and bring your phone up to your face to unlock it 

it takes you a couple of tries to get into your phone because of how bright the screen is and you curse before resorting to typing in your passcode with fumbling fingers instead 

you haven’t been on your phone too much because… well, you’ve just not really been in the mood to do anything but rot in bed all day with the curtains drawn — and not to mention, every time you’re on your phone you’re just waiting for a text or a call or literally anything from jimin but unsurprisingly it’s been complete silence on his end

you’ve mostly been ordering takeout and also you’re pretty sure you went the whole day without drinking water yesterday, so all in all, it doesn’t seem like you’re handling this very well 

what makes things worse is that you have class today and it’ll be approximately a week since you last saw jimin and the two of you officially ended things and seven days is simply not enough recovery time — you haven’t even accepted the fact that you can no longer call him your boyfriend and that you have to call him your ex-boyfriend now (and teacher, but it’s not like that’s anything new)

i think we should end things permanently, because i want to be in a real relationship instead of whatever the fuck this has been. 

jimin’s words ring loudly in your head and you feel your eyes starting to well with tears for the trillionth time in a row as you mindlessly scroll through all the notifications that have been marinating on your phone for the past seven days 

the only thing you’ve been able to focus on is replaying that last conversation with jimin in your head and it’s driving you up the wall

i never said i was ashamed to be with you, jimin. 

you never had to say it for me to see it. 

“god…” you mutter, reaching up to pinch the bridge of your nose in a poor attempt to stop the tears from flowing 

you haven’t been able to stop thinking about jimin and what makes it harder is the fact that you can’t talk about this with anyone without exposing yourself and jimin 

and as much as you love lisa, you know that if you told her she would of course be concerned about you but would also have a million questions for you and you’re just not in the mood for an interview at the moment 

another thing you’ve been thinking a lot about is what would’ve happened if you grabbed the phone and called lisa when jimin told you to call your friends and tell them the truth

would he have stayed? 

was that really the proof that he needed to show him that you wanted to be with him? 

would that have fixed everything?

you’d still have to hide your relationship — the only difference that telling your friends would make is that mr. park would be accused of playing favourites and knowing a few of the chatterboxes in class, word would spread very fast and it probably wouldn’t take long until you get an email from the dean asking you and jimin to come and speak to him 

and then either jimin would get fired or you’d be expelled and both those options sound like hell 

with that being said, wasn’t it an incredibly unfair move on jimin’s part to ask you to do that for him? 

what if you’d asked him to call the dean to tell him that you two were together? 

given the circumstances, wouldn’t jimin be hesitant to do it as well??? 

well, you suppose in your scenario it’s a little less high stakes because you’d just be telling a close friend, but still… you did the right thing, didn’t you? 

it was irresponsible of both you and jimin to enter into a romantic relationship when you guys are teacher and student, and you had to put an end to it before the truth eventually came out and tore the two of you apart

this was the right thing to do 

now jimin can continue teaching, and you can continue learning at this very prestigious dance academy that you worked very hard to get into 

plus mom and dad would probably kill you if you got expelled over something as scandalous as this

sometimes doing the right thing feels bad! and it’s okay that you feel very, very bad at the moment, because feeling bad is just a normal part of the human experience.  

you let out a huff of frustration, rolling onto your back as you look up at the ceiling 

…but how do you know if you did the right thing or not? 

you let out a slow exhale, shaking your head as you bring your phone back up to look through all your texts

you can’t help but wince a little looking through all your missed notifications throughout the week

most of your texts are from lisa and you know she’s going to want some kind of an explanation of your disappearance 

from: lisa [wednesday 9:08am] — are you okay? barely heard from you all week 

from: lisa [thursday 6:23 pm] —  ?? 

from: lisa [friday 10:32am] — y/n 

from: lisa [friday 11:02am] — helloooooo some kind of indication you are alive please 

from: lisa [friday 8:14pm] — okay well you’re still sending me tiktoks so ik you’re alive 

your thumb goes tired from scrolling through all of lisa’s texts and you finally reach the end to see that she texted you a few minutes ago 

from: lisa [1:22pm] — are you coming to class today? 

your fingers pause slightly as you think about how to respond and how to act casually about the fact that you’ve been a ghost for the last week 

to: lisa [1:34pm] — yes!! i’m coming 

to: lisa [1:34pm] — SORRY i haven’t been responding to your texts, social battery’s been weirdly low and feeling blegh bc period but i’ll see you today mwahaha 

unsurprisingly, lisa doesn’t take too long to respond because she’s always on her phone and it’s never on do not disturb- 

from: lisa [1:35pm] — hmmmm okayyy hope you’re feeling a little better at least? just glad ur alive! i’ll see u later ALSO read the group chat bc omg i’m dead 

from: lisa [1:35pm] — mr. park

your stomach dips a little in anxiety at the mention of mr. park because the point of looking through your texts was to distract yourself from any thoughts of jimin, but then again, why are you surprised? the girls are obsessed with him and he’s always a hot topic in the group chat 

one time he showed up to class wearing a pair of jeans that made his butt look really good and it was a topic in the group chat for like a week and a half straight 

you switch over to look through the group chat, scrolling up the literal hundreds of texts until you get to what’s clearly the meat of the conversation 

seulgi [best ballerinas 🤍] — You guys aren’t going to believe what I heard

seulgi [best ballerinas 🤍] —  Rmb how I said I’m pretty sure Miss Im and Mr Park are like meant to be 

seulgi [best ballerinas 🤍] — Apparently they were out on a date this weekend

lisa [best ballerinas 🤍] — wtffff NO WAYYY wait where’d u hear it from 

seulgi [best ballerinas 🤍] — One of the guys from Miss Im’s class 

seulgi [best ballerinas 🤍] — He slid into my DMs after their performance 💅🏼 as he should 💅🏼 and then we were texting for a bit and he just told me that he saw them walking around downtown together lmfaooooo I totally called it 

you don’t even bother reading the rest of the messages but through your frantic scrolling you manage to catch a message from seulgi teasing you directly about losing your precious mr. park and- “oh, just give me a break!” you groan obnoxiously, tossing your phone aside before flipping onto your stomach and letting out a muffled scream into your pillow 

great!

good for them!

good for jimin, good for nayeon, good for the happy couple! you’ll have to make sure to ask jimin if you’re allowed to bring a plus-one to their wedding and what colour they want to paint the nursery for the child they’re going to have who’ll undoubtedly be the cutest baby on the goddamn planet- 

the thought of playing hooky and calling in sick so you don’t have to go to class crosses your mind briefly, but then you remember that in order to do that, you’d have to call mr. park to let him know (one time, lisa asked jisoo if she could let him know that she wouldn’t be in class because of a bad cold, and both lisa and jisoo ended up getting mildly scolded because why are you asking your classmate to talk to me for you, and why are you talking to me on behalf of your classmate?) and needless to say, the last thing you need is to talk to jimin and pretend like the only problem you have is that you’re not feeling well and you don’t think you can come to class today 

and not to mention, with this new piece of information of him and miss im going out on a date over the weekend, you don’t want him thinking that he won the breakup because you’re so heartbroken that the only thing you can do in stay in bed and cry (even though technically that’s what you’ve been doing all weekend, but whatever) — as heartbroken as you are, you’re just as stubborn so you will be going to class and you’re going to try your absolute best to keep it together… you have to.

»»————- 🥀 ————-««

jimin splutters after splashing icy, ball-shrivelling cold water onto his face, blindly fumbling for the towel in his duffle bag before using it to pat himself off 

he looks at himself in the mirror, leaning closer and reaching up with a finger to pull at the bags under his eyes

the last time he had bags this bad was when he would stay up all night rehearsing for his own exams 

there’s not enough concealer in the world to hide the bags he has now 

needless to say, this breakup has completely destroyed him and this is the first time he actually has no idea to conduct himself after ending things with someone 

he’s had flings and short relationships all throughout high school, undergrad, and even at the academy, and it usually only takes him a few weeks to fully flush his ex out of his system, but he can already tell that this breakup is nothing compared to those ones 

sure, he was sad after his breakup with nayeon and couldn’t even force himself to get over her for much longer than he’d anticipated, but that was then and this is now — and now, he can fully say that the breakup with you is one of the most devastating things to ever have happened to him 

he’s been so out of it all week that he even ordered pizza for himself on friday night instead of digging into his usual meal of [insert choice of lean protein here], roasted vegetables and brown rice… a family sized pizza 

a family sized pizza!!! a pizza for an entire family!! 

the only time he went out this week was saturday afternoon when nayeon texted him to ask him if he wanted to go out for coffee and also to discuss what they wanted to do for their conjoined class today 

and to be honest, jimin barely remembers what they talked about that day and he’s hoping that nayeon will carry them both through today’s class because mr. park is just not mentally here at the moment 

to be honest he’d kind of been dreading coming to class (can you blame him?) and he considered calling in sick and cancelling class today, but if he cancelled today, that’d mean he’d have to have an extra makeup class next week and- well, he can’t avoid seeing you forever 

it’s just that he doesn’t even know if he can look you in the eye after you basically showed him that you don’t want to be with him 

it’s embarrassing 

he’s heartbroken and humiliated and hurt and you’re basically the only thing that’s been on his mind this whole week 

admittedly it was a little selfish of him to demand you to call your friends to tell them that you were dating him

it was an unfair move on his part and he knows he acted out of emotion, but… well, he just wished that you fought harder to keep him, that’s all 

and it’s true that he always felt like you were slightly embarrassed to be with him — he was never afraid to hold your hand in public and act like a normal couple but it was always a little upsetting to turn and see you cowering down or hiding behind a pair of sunglasses or baseball hat or something to conceal your identity 

he knows that you only did it to protect the both of you from being exposed, but you didn’t have to hide yourself all the time 

you guys couldn’t even go to restaurants without you quietly requesting for a table at the very back to avoid being seen by anyone passing by 

maybe this breakup was for the best, now that he’s had a week to think about it…

sure, his relationship with you was one of the best he’s ever had and he’s pretty sure he’s head over heels in love with you and would 100% say it back if you said it to him, but hey! he’ll get over it one day 

you’re his student, he’s your teacher — it was inappropriate from the start and it was irresponsible of him to pursue anything with you, so this breakup was a good thing 

it never would’ve worked out in the end, and it’s better that it ended sooner or later

this was just a lesson from the universe that he had to learn, and yes, it was a very hard lesson, but he’s always been good at learning and he’s just going to take this as a sign to not get involved with another one of his students ever again!

it was silly of him to think that it would ever work out in the first place, anyway, so if anything, he should be able to move on and move on fast 

easy peasy 

“easy fuckin’ peasy.” jimin clears his throat quietly, running his damp fingers through his hair as he looks at his reflection in the mirror from side to side, “i’m park fuckin’ jimin. top of my class, aced all my exams, youngest and most sought after teacher at this academy,” he puffs his chest out slightly, nodding to himself as he feels his confidence coming back to him

he’s mr. park, he knows he’s hot shit! 

he doesn’t need you to feel complete

he doesn’t need you at all

he hears the voice in his head let out a laugh of disbelief followed by an all-knowing alright, keep lying to yourself if this is how you’re planning on coping with this breakup and immediately shuts it out before bending down to grab his duffle bag, swinging it over his shoulder before putting a pair of thick-rimmed, square framed glasses on 

he forget to order more of his contacts over the weekend so he’ll have to wear his stupid dorky ass glasses today (the memory of you telling him how much you love it when he wears his glasses flashes in his mind and he shuts it out as best as he can, but the thought of getting you flustered today in class with these glasses makes the corner of his mouth twitch in a cocky smirk.) 

»»————- 🥀 ————-««

“wow, look who’s alive!” you jolt in surprise when lisa slings an arm around you from behind, leaning her head against yours with a grin as the two of you continue walking towards the main doors, “period cramps are brutal this month, hey?” 

“yeah, it’s been- ha, not great, you know how it is-“ you press your lips together in a tight smile as you pop your airpods back into the case so you can give your friend your full attention, “sorry i… barely texted you all throughout the week, i’ve just- um-“ you clear your throat quietly, pausing for a second to think about what excuse to give lisa

you feel awful for lying to her about all of this because you know that lisa would never be upset or angry with you and is only here to help you because she’s your friend, but still… the wound is a little fresh at the moment so lying will have to do 

because if you rip this bandaid off right now and she gives you that sympathetic head tilt and shoulder droop and big sad eyes combo, you are 100% not going to be able to make it through this class without completely losing your mind and you are certainly not about to burst into tears in front of your classmates 

“you’ve just what?” lisa nudges your side to get your attention and you look over at her, your mouth still hanging open with no fake excuse sitting on the tip of your tongue 

you’ve never really been good at thinking of things on the spot

you’ve also never been good at lying so there’s that to consider as well 

“i just… i don’t know! weird mood. one of those weeks, you know?” you shrug weakly, lisa’s brow raising slightly before she purses her head and nods slowly 

“no, that’s okay! i was just worried about you, that’s all. but you… know you can talk to me about anything, right?” she holds the door open for you and you offer her a meek smile, swallowing the lump in your throat as the two of you head towards the changing rooms 

“yeah, i know.” you respond quietly, choosing not to say anything else after that even though you know you’re acting very suspicious and you have a feeling lisa knows you’re hiding something from her 

“you excited for class today?” she changes the subject swiftly and you immediately nod even though you have no idea what’s happening in class today, “i’ve been buzzing about it all week. miss im’s boys are so fine.” 

“they’re- oh, we have the, uh- they’re coming to our class today, right? we’re, like, pairing up with them or something like that, right?” you clear your throat, opening your locker door up before sitting down on the bench to take your sneakers off, “yeah, they’re all very nice to look at. that jungkook guy is nice, i follow him on instagram.” 

“oh, jungkook is- mmph-“ you can’t help but giggle when lisa bites her fist, “he’s more than very nice to look at. you should ask him out. he was making googly eyes at you at mr. park and miss. im’s performance.” 

the reminder of that night immediately kills the vibe and you feel your mood drop, but you focus on taking your socks off instead of thinking about i think we should end things permanently, because i want to be in a real relationship instead of-

the sound of lisa’s locker door slamming shut snaps you out of it and you turn to see that she’s already fully dressed and ready to go with her water bottle in one hand and her phone in the other, “you want me to wait for you?” 

“you can go in first! i’ll be a while, i-“ you look down at yourself and your sweatpants, letting out a breath because you’re already exhausted and changing into a leotard is no easy feat, “i still have to change and then i have to pee and stuff, but i’ll see you in there.” 

as soon as lisa leaves, you feel yourself slump as you lean over with your elbows on your knees, your mind immediately spacing out 

you are not mentally here right now and you don’t know how you’re about to go through a two hour class where the main thing you have to do is focus otherwise you get in trouble for it 

“it’s a guy.” 

you immediately perk up when you realise you aren’t alone and you turn to look over your shoulder, your brows knitting together in confusion as you blink up at seulgi before looking back down at your duffle bag quickly and pretending like you were in the middle of going through it, “what are you talking about? and how the hell did you get in here so quietly??” 

“it’s a guy. am i right?” seulgi sighs, ignoring your second question (though you are genuinely curious how she managed to come in without you noticing, or maybe you’re just really really checked out that you didn’t notice her at all) and plopping herself down on the bench next to you before crossing one leg over the other and crossing her arms over her chest, “that’s why you’ve been acting so off all week.” 

“what are you on about?” you snort, though you can’t help but think to yourself how true it is that women are very intuitive when it comes to pretty much anything but especially when it has something to do with men 

and seulgi is the best at figuring things out — especially when it comes to things that are literally none of her business like this! 

“you’ve been weirdly civil with me over text when you usually bite back with something.” she raises her chin slightly, her gaze never leaving your face, “you never just sit there and take it.” 

your eyes flicker slightly and you find yourself unable to look seulgi in the eye for more than two seconds before looking away, and you feel the hairs on the back of your neck prickle when she gives you that one look that screams i’m not going to stop pestering you until you tell me what drama you’re swept up in 

“what makes you think that me being civil has something to do with guy problems?” you blurt out, your cheeks starting to grow pink out of anxiety because now you know that seulgi’s onto you, “also, we rarely text and talk outside of class except for when we’re out with the other girls for brunch or something. why do you care about my texting style all of a sudden?” 

“well, you didn’t deny anything.” seulgi points out, and your hand immediately freezes in your bag upon the realisation that yeah, you didn’t deny anything and seulgi is definitely onto you and is also definitely right because you definitely are going through guy problems right now 

but how much can you trust seulgi? you haven’t even told lisa who is arguably your best friend in the class and also the entire world

“we aren’t friends, seulgi. you don’t have to pretend like you care.” you mutter, voice wavering slightly as your eyes begin to brim with tears because this is the first time someone’s asked you if you’re okay in person and clearly you’re an emotional wreck if seulgi is the one asking and it’s making your eyes tear up 

keep it together, keep it together, keep it together, you remind yourself, chewing on the inside of your cheek as you pull your leg warmers on and quickly reach up to wipe a rogue tear away before seulgi sees you crying 

“so it is a guy.” seulgi hums, nodding her head to herself before clicking her teeth, “knew it. is it someone we know? was it a hookup? long time situationship? did he ghost you? have you been secretly dating someone this whole time and you just got dumped by them?” 

all the blood drains from your face as you turn your head to look at seulgi with wide eyes (nearly snapping your neck in the progress), your lips parting before you quickly shut then and turn back to pull your slippers on 

seulgi’s eyes widen before she blinks rapidly 

no way 

this whole time you’ve been dating someone?! 

to be honest seulgi’s always thought you were a massive prude who would crumble at the sight of a couple holding hands in public so this is actually a pleasant surprise for her 

“no fucking way!” seulgi delivers a harsh slap to your shoulder and you press your lips together, your eyes fluttering shut because fuck, the jig is up and now you have to confess to your sins to someone who cannot be farther away than good and holy, “oh my god. y/n y/l/n, you sneaky, sneaky girl. who?!” 

»»————- 🥀 ————-««

“are those new leg warmers?” lisa looks over at you as you stretch beside her, and you look down at your brand new (grey, with little thunderclouds on them) leg warmers before nodding, “yet another pair for your already extensive collection…”

“well, what can i say?” you chuckle, reaching down to smooth them down a little before shrugging, “i wasn’t gonna get them, but retail therapy always makes you feel better when you’re feeling like shit.” you blurt out, looking up slightly when you realise that saying retail therapy implies that something happened in which you need to make yourself feel better 

…

“retail therapy? what on earth bugged you so much that you needed to buy something?” lisa snorts, pulling her hair up into a ponytail in the mirror 

“probably just dealing with the fact that she knows she’ll never be as good of a dancer as i am.” seulgi butts in, letting out a sigh before shaking her head, “it’s okay, y/n. not all of us were meant for the stage.”

“thank you for the reminder, seulgi. you keep me humble.” you joke, giving her a soft smile and acknowledging her attempt at a distraction with a little nod — you ended up telling seulgi absolutely everything in the changing rooms (but not before triple checking that nobody was around to listen, because that would’ve been a disaster for sure) because… well, it was killing you having to hold everything in! and seulgi, believe it or not, was willing to lend an ear and actually listen for a change instead of blabbing her mouth off like the know it all she is 

much to your surprise, seulgi told you that she wouldn’t tell anyone about this (to be perfectly honest, seulgi thinks it was kind of sick of you to break the rules and date your own teacher, because it’s very unlike y/n y/l/n to do something as taboo as that… she has a newfound sense of respect for you because she would probably also do the same thing if she was in your position because who in their right mind wouldn’t launch themselves full speed at the chance to date mr. park?? but she’ll never tell you that because she knows it would go to your head and you would try to become best friends with her and she’s pretty sure that your relationship works better when you’re frenemies who are constantly trying to one-up each other.) 

“they’re a little… gloomier than what you usually get…” lisa giggles, reaching over to jab a finger into one of the thunderclouds, “still cute, though! and it matches the weather.” you turn to glance out the window, frowning at the sight of the dark grey clouds hanging in the air as the the windows tremble from the weight of chubby raindrops smacking against it rhythmically 

the weather for the past week has been absolutely dreadful and definitely hasn’t made you feel any better, but you have to admit that it was kind of relaxing laying in bed all day listening to the sound of the rain 

“well, the weather is shit, but what makes me feel better is knowing that in a few minutes this room is going to flooded in an ocean of hot testosterone-“ lisa wraps her arms around herself before shimmying her shoulders with a squeal, “aren’t you guys excited?! i don’t know why you aren’t more excited that we basically get a free pass to flirt with boys for the next two hours-“ 

“i’ve got my eye on seokjin,”  ailee chimes in, “god, i would climb him like a goddamn tree.” 

“you know who’s actually built like a tree? kim namjoon. you seen those thighs of his?” 

“well, i’m gonna see if i can get paired with hoseok — i’ve seen him dance, he’s super good. he does hip-hop too, the man can do it all-“ 

“yoongi and i already spoke last time so i’m pretty sure we’re gonna hook up in class and also out of class-“ 

“you guys just stay away from taehyung, because i’ve been eyeing him for so long-“ 

“y/n, what about you?” you feel lisa nudge your back with her foot and you spin around on your bum to face the group, “well, i don’t think i need to ask you who you want to be paired up with.” 

“you seem to be convinced that jungkook was making googly-moogly eyes at me but i’m telling you that he was just being friendly-“

“oh, well- yes, jungkook was definitely making googly-moogly eyes at you and i’m pretty sure he’s going to try to get paired up with you so don’t even worry about that- i was talking about mr. park!”

“wh- what?” your eyes widen slightly and you let out a nervous laugh, “i- what- what makes you think that i- why would i get paired up with mr. park?? that’s not even- that’s not even allowed, i don’t think a student is allowed to be paired up with a teacher for an exercise like this-”

“why are you getting all flustered??” lisa laughs, reaching over to pinch your thigh, “oh my god, i was just teasing you because of the fat crush you have on mr. park, i’m not actually saying you’re going to get paired up with him, dummy-“ 

“even if y/n was paired up with mr. park, she’d probably clomp all over his feet.” seulgi snorts, “besides, she- oh, shit-“ she immediately gets up and you turn to see jimin walk into the room, muscle memory forcing you up from the ground so you can stand with your feet in third position with your hands behind your back next to seulgi 

you feel your heart racing in your chest as the familiar smell of his cologne wafts past you and you immediately look down when he walks past you

you just hope that no one can hear how hard your heart is pounding because you would’ve appreciated some kind of warning before jimin came into the room 

you’re just going to keep your head down and stay in the back of the class for this lesson, and then you’re going to slip out with the girls at the end of class as quickly as you can 

“good afternoon, ladies…” jimin greets lowly as he makes his way towards the front of the room, his voice slightly raspy from the complete lack of sleep he’s gotten 

he drops his duffle bag on the ground as he looks out at the godawful weather, frowning slightly because no one’s responded to him and he thought he taught you guys better than that! it seems like two weeks without class has turned you girls a little sloppy…

“i said, good afternoon, ladies…” jimin tries again, emphasising his tone before turning around swiftly with a tilt of his head, leaning back against the counter with toned arms crossed over his chest, “what’s the matter, you guys forget your manners?”

“good afternoon, mr. park!” everyone fumbles to respond to his greeting, and you find yourself barely mumbling out a barely coherent ‘afternoon’ before continuing to stand in your spot obediently 

“…alright, jesus, i don’t know what the hell that was-“ jimin scoffs, shaking his head with a mild expression of disgust on his face, “maybe it’s a good thing miss im and her students are coming over today so you can see how proper students are supposed to act!” he claps his hands together before reaching into his back pocket for his phone, “miss im will be leading the class today, i’m just gonna be hanging around the back as her co-teacher, but please do your best and try not to embarrass me in front of her students. she just texted me and let me know that she’ll be here on time, so just continue warming up until they get here…” 

“someone woke up on the bitchy side of bed this morning. what do you think his problem is?” lisa mutters to you as the class disperses back into doing warm-up exercises, and you shrug with one shoulder and plop back down on the ground 

“i bet i know.” seulgi snorts, and you shoot her a warning look before she smirks and sends a blowing kiss in your direction 

you turn your head slightly to look over your shoulder, surprised to see jimin looking right at you before his eyes flicker and he quickly turns and looks down at his phone instead 

»»————- 🥀 ————-««

“now, the purpose of today’s class is just to familiarise yourself with dancing with a partner — after all, it’ll be one of the things you have to do during your exams at the end of the semester!” nayeon chirps, standing tall with her clipboard held close to her chest, “mr. park and i were dance partners, as you know… it’s also important to develop a bond with the person you’re partnered with. if there’s no bond, there’s no trust, no warmth, no chemistry, and all of that will be visible on stage through your dancing, so i cannot emphasise how important it is to really strengthen the connection you have with one another.” 

“well, there’s more than one way to do that-“ taehyung mutters, the class breaking into a collection of snorts and giggles before going silent again when jimin gives them one of his signature unimpressed death glares 

he’s barely spoken a word since nayeon and her boys came into the class ten minutes ago because that’s how mentally checked out he is 

it’s actual torture having to be here with you standing across the room as if he doesn’t have a million questions lined up and ready to go 

were you just lying when you said you loved him? did you know he was awake? did you do it on purpose to get him to become more attached to you??? did you date him so that you would be chosen for the nutcracker at the end of the year?! 

he made brief eye contact with you earlier (he was staring at the back of your head and wasn’t expecting you to turn and look back at him) and he swore he was going to start tearing up when the two of you locked gazes which is why he had to look away so quickly 

“i’ve paired you up randomly, so i’m just going to read your names off my list. when you hear your name, pair up with your partner and stand to the left side of the room and wait quietly until everyone’s been paired up,” nayeon clears her throat, looking down at her list, “lisa and taehyung, jisoo and seokjin, seulgi and namjoon…” 

jimin resists the urge to blow his cheeks out and roll his eyes out of complete boredom as he stands next to nayeon with his arms behind his back, occasionally glancing down at her list to see how many people still have to be paired up

“-y/n and jungkook-“ 

he immediately perks up at the mention of your name, eyebrows furrowing when it’s followed by jungkook’s name because what the hell does nayeon mean by y/n and jungkook?? 

“oh, uh-“ jimin nudges nayeon’s arm, “you- you paired y/n up with jungkook? we, uh, did we… did we talk about that, or…?” 

“what do you mean? i asked you if you had any preferences for partners and you told me to sort them out, don’t you remember?” nayeon whispers, using the tip of her pen to trace a line down her page before tapping right next to your name and jungkook’s name, “plus y/n’s clearly your strongest student, and jungkook is mine, so i’d like to see how they work together. i think they’ll work out quite well, they already seem to be pretty friendly with each other…”

“y/n and jungkook.” 

you look up when you hear your name being called and you immediately look over at jungkook, offering him a shy smile when he beams and starts to make his way over to you 

what a pleasant surprise!

you actually really like jungkook — sometimes he sends you memes on instagram or he’ll swipe up and respond to your stories, so the two of you have interacted more than a handful of times and you think he’s a pretty solid guy 

and you’d be lying if you said he wasn’t handsome (and it kind of gives you an ego boost knowing that he might have a teensy weensy crush on you)

“pst- make him jealous.” you hold back a yelp when seulgi suddenly burrows her fingers into your side and you turn to glare at her 

“what?”

“make. him. jealous.” she enunciates through gritted teeth, eyes flickering over to jimin before she looks over at a smiley jungkook, “nothing wrong with being a little petty.” 

“what- i’m not going to make him jealous, that’s not going to solve anything-“

“it won’t solve anything, but would it be so wrong to have a little fun to make yourself feel better?” 

“seulgi, i don’t like being petty and- hi!” you turn your head and greet jungkook with a bright smile, letting out a chuckle afterwards, “nice to see you again.”

“likewise! i’m glad we got paired up.” he nods, standing a little closer to you as the two of you return your attention to the front where miss. im is in the middle of giving her tips for the girls 

“try not to help your partner! you kinda just have to trust them — i know it’s very tempting because you know the combination and you know what step comes next, but the best thing to do is to just keep a strong core and focus on yourself! that way, your partner can- you know, kind of put you where you need to go. so, what we’re going to have you do for this exercise is, girls, you’ll make up a short combination, tell your partner what that is, and then immediately perform it on the spot.” miss. im turns to look at jimin, “so, mr. park, do you have any tips for the boys?”

“uh, i mean…” jimin purses his lips slightly, “use your palms, not your fingers. it wouldn’t feel good for your partner to have your fingers digging into their ribcages especially. also, you’ll be able to have more control when you’re using your palms instead of lifting with your fingers. just, uh… yeah, trust in your partner.” he nods, looking over at nayeon to signal that he has nothing more to add

god, he really is out of it today 

“any volunteers?” nayeon purses her lips as she looks around the class, not surprised to see that majority of you are avoiding eye contact with her (it is pretty intimidating dancing with all of your peers looking at you and judging every move, but it’s something that all of you will have to do eventually), “alright, then i’ll have to choose, since no one is taking the initiative.” she chirps, smacking her palm flat against her clipboard before turning to look right over at you and jungkook, “jungkook, y/n — would you like to come up here and demonstrate for the rest of the class?” 

you feel the hairs on your arm prickle in anxiety as you stand there for a second in silence, both you and jungkook exchanging glances before you turn back to look at miss im with a meek smile, “ah- yes, miss im.”

you were expecting everyone to break out and scatter around the room instead of immediately performing in front of the class, but you suppose everyone’s already warmed up and ready to go… 

“bepetty.” seulgi coughs quietly, and you turn to see jungkook holding his hand out for you to take

“shall we?” he grins, clearly very confident in your guys’ ability to impress the whole class with your little routine, “don’t worry miss im, y/n and i will try our best not to completely amaze you with our routine, but no promises…” jungkook’s comment gets a couple of laughs and you giggle lightly before taking his hand and letting him lead you to the front 

“that’s easy for you to say, i’m the one who has to come up with the routine-“ you add on, the corner of your mouth lifting in a knowing smirk when jungkook lets out a laugh and a nod 

his hand feels quite warm in yours and your eyes widen a little when you feel his thumb rub over your skin soothingly

“do your best!” miss im smiles, flicking the main lights off and turning the spotlight ones on as you guys get to the front, “y/n, what combination will you two be demonstrating for your peers?” 

ah, shit

“i….” you’ve never been good at thinking of things on the spot, and you can’t help but look over at jimin for a split second who seems to be shooting daggers right at jungkook as he stands leaning against the wall by the door, his arms crossed over his chest and his tongue poking against the inside of his cheek before he clears his throat quietly and rubs his lips together a couple of times 

his eyes are lidded slightly and to be honest, if looks could kill, jungkook would be bleeding out on the floor right about now and you can’t help but feel a little pleased at the obvious fact that jimin doesn’t like that you were paired up with jungkook and definitely doesn’t like the fact that miss im chose you and jungkook to demonstrate in front of the class 

“y/n?” jungkook elbows you slightly to get your attention and you clear your throat before standing up a little straighter, sorting through all the moves that you know and trying your best to come up with a quick routine on the spot

“oh! i, uh… okay, first, i’m gonna piqué attitude to the left, tombé… uh, double stepover, and then i’ll do… ah… i’ll do… échappé-echappe… passe-passe, i… suppose i’ll do a spin and then finish in arabesque?” you smile sheepishly, looking over at miss im and jimin for validation only to get a grunt from jimin and a pleased nod from miss im 

that seems like a doable combination, right?

god, you hope so 

lisa shoots you a thumbs up from the audience and you clear your throat quietly, taking a few steps back and waiting for your cue as miss im lowers the spotlights slightly 

the last thing you see before the lights dim is jimin’s furrowed brows and clenched jaw and you press your lips together in order to suppress a grin 

»»————- 🥀 ————-««

“wonderful job, you two. impeccable!” nayeon claps her hands gently along with the rest of the class, a proud smile on her face as she nudges jimin with her elbow, “see, what’d i tell you? the two of them fit together like two puzzle pieces, don’t you think?” 

“yep.” jimin licks over his front teeth in irritation when he notices the way jungkook’s hand lingers on the small of your back (a little too low for his liking, and if he was grading jungkook for an exam he’d immediately dock off a point for hand placement alone) as the two of you bow/curtsey at the front to thank your classmates for the applause and he feels his blood beginning to boil when he sees the shy little smile on your face and the blush spreading across your cheeks when jungkook whispers something in your ear 

what the fuck is he saying to you that’s making your cheeks red?? 

“you have something you want to share with the class, jungkook?” jimin blurts out right before he can even process that he’s blurted something out, his hand instinctively reaching over to smack the main lights back on 

the light switching back on so suddenly makes a few of you flinch and you reach up instinctively to shield your eyes, a little puzzled by what the problem is 

jimin is completely unbothered as he looks at jungkook and tilts his head, “well? if you can whisper it to y/n, you can share it with everyone.”

you and jungkook exchange glances of confusion 

“oh, i-“ jungkook stands up a little taller and jimin can’t help but feel drunk on power because of how intimidated he looks right now, “i just said that she did a really good job, mr. park, that’s all. a-and that she looks very pretty when she’s focused.” 

“interesting. well, i don’t think that’s a very appropriate comment to make to your peer,” jimin responds immediately, shaking his head before looking over at nayeon, “miss im, you need to control your hormonal students-“

“woah, my boys aren’t the hormonal ones here-“ nayeon scoffs, and jimin’s eyes widen in offence at the dig at you guys even though he technically made the first jab (and also, nayeon’s probably right about that because he’s seen the way you guys look at him and has also heard many of things said about him), “and it’s perfectly fine to compliment a peer! maybe keep the second half of your comment for after class, but don’t listen to grumpy mr. park, you two — again, great job, you can go back to your spots.” 

awkward, scattered applause makes its way around the room as you and jungkook return to your spots, and lisa gives you a look that says “what was that??? we’re definitely talking about this later” to which you respond with a quick shrug as you pass by her 

“okay…” miss im clears her throat quietly, letting out an uncomfortable chuckle before flipping to the next page on her clipboard, jimin following close behind her as the two of them head back to the front of the room, “let me see… jisoo, seokjin, can you guys come up next?” 

“i’m sorry if i- if i made you uncomfortable with my comment, y/n, i really didn’t mean to-“ jungkook whispers, and you shake your head quickly as you look up at him with a frown 

“no, not at all! it was very sweet of you-“ you reassure him, reaching down to give his hand a squeeze, “really, it was very kind of you to say. and you did a great job as well- sorry i almost stepped on your foot when i-”

“oh, that’s- no, it was really all you, i basically just followed you and made sure to spin you and stuff-“ 

“jungkook!” jimin’s voice is crisp and it makes you stand straight up as you turn your head to look back at the front, “talking again while your peers are getting ready to perform up front?” 

jungkook’s face turns bright red and he shakes his head quickly, “i- no, sir, i’m- i wasn’t-“ 

“i talked to him first, so if you’re going to bark at someone, you should do it at me-“ you raise your hand to get jimin to look over at you before giving him a casual shrug, “my bad.” 

“‘your bad’?” jimin repeats with air quotations, narrowing his eyes at you and almost daring you to continue speaking to him in such a casual tone when you know he’s made it very clear how important it is to speak to him formally when it’s class time, “well, is there something that you’d like to share with the class since it was so important you had to speak to jungkook about it right now?” 

“just that he did a fantastic job and he looked incredibly handsome doing it,” you chirp, maintaining a smile on your face, “i also said that we did completely amaze everyone with our routine because i guess we just fit together so, so well and- well, the second half of my comment, i’ll say to him when the two of us are outside of class, as miss im suggested.” 

your comment doesn’t get any snickers, which isn’t a surprise considering the fact that everyone is probably terrified of how angry jimin looks — but honestly, you have no idea why he seems to be picking on you and jungkook but you have a feeling it has something to do with the breakup 

and when you think about that, you can’t help but get more infuriated because can’t he see that he benefits from you breaking up with him?! now he’s free to date whoever he wants to date

like he said, he can be in a real relationship instead of whatever the fuck the two of you were in 

not to mention, you haven’t brought your personal feelings into the situation the same way he has (this is a lie, you are definitely acting on your emotions right now but the denial is slathered on thick today) so what makes him think that he has the right to treat you and jungkook like shit just because he’s all pissy?!?! 

“i’d like to pull y/n out to talk to her for a moment.” jimin immediately turns to look at naeyon with his hands behind his back, nayeon frowning as she looks back and forth between him and you, “now please, miss im. we won’t be long.” 

“well, can you wait until we’re done?” you pipe up, and that gets you a little stomp on the toes from seulgi because now you’re just doing too much but the rage that’s building inside of you from having jimin clearly picking on both you and jungkook is becoming unbearable, “i just think the respectable move is to wait until we’re done learning, mr. park. or would you like to continue wasting everyone’s time by singling out jungkook and i just because you’re clearly in a sour mood for no reason and seem to be enjoying using us as your emotional punching bags?” 

the silence is almost palpable, both you and jimin glaring at each other from across the room as everyone stands silently, awkwardly, because what the absolute fuck is going on right now? 

jimin’s eyes have gone completely dark and if it weren’t for the fact that he used to be your boyfriend, you would probably be terrified for basically cussing out your teacher in front of the whole class — but the scale feels balanced now because the current conversation taking place doesn’t seem at all like a mr. park vs miss. y/l/n interaction… this is a jimin vs y/n interaction. 

“leave this classroom right now.” jimin says through gritted teeth, his voice eerily low and quiet as he continues staring at you without a single blink, “right fucking now, y/n.” 

“no problem.” you snap, swiftly moving your way through the crowd and heading straight for the door, your fists clenched at your sides 

you let the door slam shut behind you, angry tears beginning to brim at the edges of your eyes as you storm down the hallway towards the changing rooms so you can get your bags and go home

you shouldn’t have come to class today — you knew that seeing jimin would be too much for you and now look at where it’s gotten you! 

openly disrespecting jimin not just in front of the girls but also in front of miss im’s boys, which probably mortified jimin because he prides himself on how well-behaved you guys are whenever you’re paired up with students from another class… you have a feeling this isn’t going to end well at all. 

the thought of being grilled not just by jimin but also the dean of the school sends a lightning bolt of anxiety right into you and your brain immediately begins to conjure up an email of what you’re going to say in your apology letter because that’s the type of student you are, not whoever you were just a second ago 

you just couldn’t help yourself!! you’re running on an inconsistent sleep schedule and you haven’t been eating right and you’ve barely been drinking water and you’re sad about the breakup and mad at the circumstances and also feeling a little bit like maybe you acted too hastily in the first place and should’ve communicated with jimin about how you were feeling and what you were insecure about instead of diving head first into the whole crazy jealous girlfriend act and driving him away 

and now it seems to be your ego and your pride standing in the way of making you turn around and just talk to jimin because walking away and accepting that this is just the way things are is the much easier option 

“so stupid,” you sniffle, reaching up to wipe away a stray tear as your bottom lip starts to tremble 

you’ve ruined everything 

“hey, i didn’t say you could leave-“ you glance over your shoulder when you hear jimin’s voice as you continue making your way down the stairs, but you pick up your pace when you see him starting to follow you, “y/n, i swear to god-“ 

“i’m going home, i’m clearly not in the right state of mind to be here right now, mr. park-“

“oh, don’t give me that bullshit, y/n-“ jimin snaps, “i think you and i both know we’ve been avoiding each other but we need to talk because your behaviour today isn’t coming out of nowhere-“ 

“i’m sorry for talking back to you in class, but you were clearly picking on jungkook and i and i was so fucking over it-“ you swing the main door open, sneakers squeaking against the linoleum when you come to a sudden stop after seeing how heavy the rainfall is 

you contemplate staying and waiting until the rain calms down a little but the thought of having to stay and talk to jimin is just a little too much for you at the moment 

“it’s raining out and you don’t have an umbrella, you big baby-“ jimin changes the subject when thunder suddenly rumbles from outside, stopping at the top of the stairs to look at you, “what are you gonna do, walk in the rain?!” 

“if that’s what i wanted to do, then i have every right to do so!” 

you came here by bus and you know it doesn’t come for another twenty minutes, meaning that not only are you going to have to walk in the rain to the bus stop, you’ll also have to wait in the rain until it comes and that’s just a recipe for the nastiest cold in the entire world

and the thought of having to nurse a horrible cold and nurse your poor heart sounds like a nightmare 

“y/n, i know you’re upset but you’re being irrational-”

“so what if i wanna walk in the rain?!” the emotional side of your brain takes over as you glare up at jimin before storming towards the doors, “i’m an adult, i can make my own decisions-“ 

“i know you are, and i know you can, but, y/n, please-“ jimin grabs the back of your arm right as you get to the bottom of the stairs and you immediately fling his arm away, “just talk to me, please-“

“about what?!” you adjust the strap of your duffle bag over your shoulder, “we broke up, it’s for the better, you’re my teacher and i’m your student and we never should’ve started dating in the first place because it never would’ve worked out anyway and-“ before you know it, everything is coming out of you and you can’t find a way to stop or control the words coming out of your mouth, “and i think maybe i shouldn’t come to class for a few weeks because it’s going to be weird and i can’t- i can’t be in the same room as you, jimin, it’s killing me-“ 

“it’s killing me, too-“ jimin admits softly, brown eyes glistening slightly underneath the lights, “i just- i can’t stop thinking about you, and i- baby, i- i miss you so much, you have no idea-“ your eyes immediately well with tears and you shake your head quickly as you take a few steps back, pushing the door open and stumbling out while unable to tear your gaze away from jimin’s, “please, we can figure something out, i know we can. i know i want to be with you, y/n, i don’t want anyone else, i just want you-“ his voice tremors slightly and he reaches out for you, “and i didn’t mean it when i called our relationship nothing, i was just hurt and- and angry and- i don’t even know why we broke up-“ 

“you should be with nayeon, she’s better for you and-“ you lower your voice slightly, “i know you went out with her over the weekend, so-“

“went out with her??” jimin gawks, almost letting out a laugh of disbelief, “we met up for coffee to talk about the lesson plan for today- don’t think i didn’t hear what everyone was muttering about before class, you guys need to cut the gossiping and- oh my god, y/n, is that what this is about?? you think i want to be with nayeon? we broke up for a reason, you- this is so incredibly frustrating, y/n, why can’t you just believe me when i say that i want to be with you?!” 

everything that’s coming out of jimin’s mouth makes you feel ten times worse knowing that the two of you can’t be together 

“this is why we need to sit down and talk about things, be honest and give each other our side of the story, because clearly something’s been miscommunicated and-“

“it doesn’t matter, jimin, at the end of the day, even if we talk about what happened we still can’t be together-“

“we can, we just- we can figure something out-“ the overwhelming reminder that you’ll have to tell the dean and all your classmates and face judgement and be gossiped about on top of the already overwhelming emotion of seeing and talking to jimin is just too much for you to bear, and you find your heart skipping more than a few beats out of anxiety because the only thing on your mind right now is to run away and hide from all of this 

“i can’t be here, i have to go home, i can’t be here right now-“ you whimper, turning around to head into the rain, “you just- we can’t be together, jimin-“ 

“y/n-!” the last thing you hear before you sprint out into the dark, misty rain is the sound of jimin crying out for you and you can’t help but burst into tears, covering your mouth with your hand to muffle your sobs

run away run away run away run away 

water splashes up and around you at every step you take, adrenaline coursing through your veins as you keep running down the sidewalk with your duffle bag flopping behind you wildly 

this is too much

everything is just too much 

you just need to go home and then everything will be fine 

it doesn’t matter that jimin wants to work on things with you (it does, because you do, too), it doesn’t matter that he wants to find a way to make things work (it does, because you do, too), it doesn’t matter that he’s clearly stated that he wants to be with you and not nayeon (it does, because it reassures you and now you really know that jimin just wants you and you know that you just want him too) because all that matters is that everything is too much to handle and you feel like your head is about to explode 

“so what am i supposed to do then?!” the sound of jimin’s voice down the street immediately makes you stop and turn around, and you’re glad that it’s raining like this to mask the tears streaming down your face

you aren’t surprised that he’s caught up to you, and you stand still as you look at him standing across from you, all the way at the end of the block, “what the FUCK am i supposed to do, y/n, huh?!” he yells, grabbing a fistful of his shirt and pounding against his chest a few times, “you want me to stand here and act like i don’t love you?! like we never happened?! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?!” 

“i…”

“tell me that’s what you want and i’ll leave it alone, y/n. all you have to do is tell me that this is what you want.” your feet are stuck in place as jimin jogs right over to you and you resist the very strong urge to look away from him again but he just looks so sad and you hate yourself for doing this to him

“it was wrong of me to pressure you to tell your friends about us the way that i did, i know that.” jimin nods, slicking his hair back with a hand, “i fucked up, and i’m sorry for doing that. but i meant it when i said i wanted to be in a proper relationship, y/n, because i want to be able to hold your hand in public, i wanna take you out for dinners without constantly feeling like we’re going to get caught, i- i want to show you off! i wanna show you off because i… i love you, y/n…” 

jimin shakes his head in disappointment when your only response is to stand there, staring at him with wide, trembling eyes 

he waits one, two, three seconds for you to say something, to say literally anything and he hates that you still have nothing to say to him 

even if you said you didn’t want to be with him, that would be a better response than you just standing there staring at him 

forget it 

obviously you’ve made your answer clear, and now he knows that he was 100% more invested in you than you were in him 

if you want him to pretend like he doesn’t care about you and that you’re just another one of his students, he’s perfectly capable of doing that 

he was a little out of control today, but he’ll be able to manage it in future classes

the thought of transferring you to another teacher’s class briefly flits through his mind but he’s reminded by the fact that he’d have to talk to the dean about that and then the dean would have to ask why jimin wants to transfer you and that’d just be a whole thing 

plus, the semester’s nearly over so pretty soon jimin won’t have to be forced to be in the same room with the woman he loves but he can’t say he loves 

it’s going to fine

everything is going to be fine 

he’s been broken up with before, and he’s picked himself up and has moved on 

he can do this 

“fine, y/n.” he scoffs to himself, turning on his heel to head back towards the building, “if that’s what you want, i can’t change your mind. i’m sorry. i won’t push it any further.” 

“i was gonna talk to the dean!”

jimin stops in his tracks when you finally speak up, and he turns to look over his shoulder to see that you’ve taken one step forward but hesitating to come any closer to him like a scared baby deer 

he doesn’t move, afraid that if he moves too quickly he might scare you off and stop you from what you’re about to say 

“what?” he asks quietly, turning around to face you and relieved to see that you don’t seem like you’re about to take off again 

“i was- i was gonna talk to the dean.” you repeat quietly before averting your gaze, “i’d made an appointment and everything, i was gonna talk to the dean about us because i- i love you… too.” you blurt out, looking back up at him, “i love you too, but i’m… scared.” 

“scared of someone finding out?” 

“well, that’s a pretty big chunk of it because i could get expelled and you could get fired, but i’m also scared because… the last time i felt this way about someone, they left me for their ex six months after we said i love you to each other.” you swallow thickly, feeling slightly ashamed and embarrassed to admit that about yourself since it’s not something you like to bring up, “i… if there is even a 1% chance of you and nayeon getting back together, i don’t want any part of it. and i know that’s unfair of me to say because life happens and i get it but-” you whimper, feeling your heart splinter at the reminder of how broken up you were over your previous relationship, “as much as i love you and i want to work on things with you, i don’t wanna be hurt again-“ 

“you won’t be, y/n-“

“you don’t know that-“

“but i do!” jimin drops to his knees, looking up at you from the ground as he keeps his hands firm on the sides of your thighs, “baby, i do know that- i don’t know what crazy rumour you guys cooked up but i’m not secretly in love with nayeon- i wanna be with you, please, please just give us a chance to make it work-“

“i’m still your student, jimin…” you sniffle, reaching up to wipe at your red eyes, “all of this doesn’t change the fact that you are my teacher and i am your student, and the both of us never should’ve started doing this in the first place-“ 

“i’ll talk to the dean about getting you transferred to another class, or- or i can transfer to another class- i will make it work, y/n, we can make this work.” 

you chew on the inside of your cheek anxiously as you look down at jimin, jimin who you’re hopelessly in love with, jimin who you love waking up next to and falling asleep beside, jimin who wakes you up with kisses on the face and a mug of tea (you hate tea, you just drink it because it’s him), jimin who you know you want to be with because it’s been so long since you’ve felt so strongly and so surely about someone and… well, it’s jimin. 

“okay.” you nod slowly, reaching down to cup his cheek gently before swiping your thumb against his skin, “okay, we can make it work. i wanna make this work, but i think the first thing we have to do is talk to the dean because i don’t know how much longer i can hide it from everyone-!” you don’t get much of a chance to say anything else before jimin’s shooting up from the ground, pulling you in for a kiss as your duffle bag drops to the ground 

“oh my god, i missed you so much, you have no idea how much-“ jimin murmurs against your lips, his arm looping around your waist to pull you in closer, while your arms sling around his neck and your fingers curl into the hair at the back of his head 

“i missed you too-“ you laugh lightly, heart thrumming happily in your chest as you find yourself pressing closer into jimin’s familiar warmth, “we can make this work.” 

»»————- 🥀 ————-««

(“are we going to talk about how you were basically bullying me and jungkook?” “…no comment.”) 

🎙️ ask y/n where she gets her leg warmers (talk to my characters!) 

📚 why not explore the rest of the library while you're here? (full fics!) 

💫 or perhaps you want something shorter to read? (drabbles and mini series!)

Outside you could hear screams from all directions. The sound of rapid gunfire. The crunch of wooden beams and bricks being crushed under the weight of the enemy tanks that rolled over them in the streets. 

You were scared, but you didn’t cry. Actually, you couldn’t remember when the last time was that you did cry. How long had it been since you were displaced from your home and your family because of the war? How long had it been since you were in the company of anyone you knew? The last you saw of your hometown, a small quiet village by the sea - it was burning, lost to a cloud of flames and ash. You’d long since stopped crying. Long since stopped wishing for the war to end, wishing for better days, for safety, for any kind of comfort. You came to accept the hunger, the cold, the stench of burning bodies in the streets, being on the run. 

You heard the sound of glass shattering. Where was it? The building across the road? But the sound was too close. You lifted your head from under your arms and before you, as a reflection in the glass of the cabinet once meant to hold pastries, you saw the shadow of a man entering the cafe. He was alone, you noted. You had a chance. 

Sliding further down under the counter, you held close to your chest the small pastry knife you found on the counter when you first entered the building when the raid warning horns blasted across the town. You became conscious of every breath you took, breathing in and out slowly and with purpose - to slow down your heart rate, and in hopes of concealing your presence. 

Glass crunched under his boots as he walked into the building. You gripped the knife tighter in your hand. He stopped moving. You inched yourself just ever so slightly to your left, so you could find his reflection in the glass again but it was too much. 

The glass shattered in an instant as a bullet hit it. You quickly ducked your face behind your forearms, you could feel the sting on your skin as stray shards streaked across it. You shouldn’t have looked. He saw you. 

He fired thrice more, breaking the glass of the counter above you. Broken glass fell all around you and you pulled your limbs in even closer, hearing your own shallow breaths like an echo in your ears, ringing from the sound of the gun firing so close. You waited until it was quiet again. And you ran. 

You stood, and forced your legs to pick up as much momentum and speed in a few seconds as your weak body could muster. Just to the door. Just to the exit out the back of the building. But as fast as you tried to move, he was faster. 

Wood splinters broke off from the door frame where he fired another shot as you tried to run through it. You heard his steps behind you, wondering just how it was possible he was able to catch up to you so quickly. You swung around, lashing the knife in your hand but he ducked back, the blade missing the skin of his cheek by centimeters. His hand gripped around your arm, squeezing your wrist in a painful clutch. Your hand fell open, the knife dropped to the floor, clattering as it hit the broken glass under your feet. 

You writhed, trying to break free of his grasp but failed. The darkness made it difficult to see, but he towered above you, a vice grip on your wrist, and his eyes were hidden behind a veil of dark hair. But even in the dark you could tell the uniform he wore - a black coat with gold trimming, the patch over his chest, an emblem of the enemy. 

“Please..let me go..” the words you uttered would sound like a desperate plea, but the tone of your voice showed him that you were resigned to whatever fate will bring. You knew you were done for. You’d been captured. There was no way he would just let you go. 

Thoughts of what will befall you ran through your mind. Would you be sent to the labor camps in the north - to work, to freeze, to starve, to die a slow, painful, diseased death? Would he claim you as a spoil of war - make you serve him, a slave girl, to use you in any way he pleased? Or would he be merciful - and put a bullet in your head here and now? You prayed for this last. 

Past him you could see a tank turning onto the road, the flash of light from the high beam flew past your face, and you felt him run a hand behind your head, lacing his fingers into your hair, pulling your face back into the light. This pain barely registered, lost between the deafening ringing in your ears and the blood that trickled down your arms from splintered wood and crushed glass, your nerves were frayed after years of being on the run. 

He stepped closer, so close you could feel his breath on your skin. You could see the splatters of blood across his face. The overwhelming metallic smell of blood on his clothes made you nauseous. You held your breath, and from behind the long strands of his hair, dripping droplets of blood onto his cheeks, he examined your face. 

It was only a few seconds, but it felt like an eternity. Finally, he let go of your hair, but kept his hand around your wrist and pulled you out from behind the counter. He brought you out onto the street, tugging you while you screamed in protest, though you knew no one was there to answer your pleas for help. Your bare feet dragged and pulled against him on the gravel and broken glass in the street. He brought you to an armored vehicle outside the building. 

You screamed in protest, pushing against the metal frame of the door, writhing and wriggling your body in any way you could but it was useless against the force and strength of his arms. He pushed you onto the passenger seat and held both your wrists up to the handle above the door. He looped a zip tie around your wrists and tied you up to the handle, so tight you swore the plastic material cut into your skin. He then tied your ankles. 

All around you was fire, ash and smoke. Bodies dropping to the ground under a cloud of red dust. He moved swiftly around the vehicle, jumping into the driver’s seat. The engine roared to life, and you fell back against the seat, swaying with the force of the car as he turned and sped down the road through the burning town. 

You must’ve been in the car for hours when he pulled up to a set of black iron gates, guarded by six men armed with machine guns that hung around their torsos. They seemed to recognize him immediately, saluting and greeting him. They exchanged glances and shot you looks, but no one made mention of you, only opening the gate immediately to let him drive through. 

He stopped in front of a large stone estate. You recognized it. It had once been the home of the governor of this land. Now it housed the enemy combatants. You wondered what happened to the family that lived here before the war. 

He walked around to the passenger side and pulled a knife from his belt. You flinched but he reached up to untie you from the handle above the door. He cut through the ties that bound your feet. You grimaced as he pulled you from the vehicle, the cut-up soles of your feet stung against the rough gravel. 

“Captain!” 

You turned at the voice. A young man, tall and thin, donned in the same uniform as the man that captured you, appeared from within the estate. Only now in the brightly lit lot of the compound you could see his young man had far less pins and medals than the man that brought you here. 

He hurried down the steps of the building and saluted the man beside you. 

“The town’s taken.”

Hearing his voice for the first time shocked you. Partly because it was at a much lower register than the young man saluting him, and partly because you did not expect him, the enemy, a dog of war, to have such a sophisticated tone. 

“Sir, that’s excellent, the General will be glad to hear of it-”

Before he could finish, the man beside you pushed you forward, causing you to momentarily lose your balance, and you would’ve fallen to the ground had the young man not caught you in his arms and steadied you back onto your feet. 

“Take her to Inah.” 

“Um..sure, uh, I mean, yes sir!” the young man called out. 

The man he called Captain swung the heavy machine gun he carried around his torso off, and slid off his overcoat. Even though the shirt he wore underneath was black, you could tell from the way the material was dampened and stuck to his skin that it was drenched in blood. 

“And Soobin,” he turned to address the young man as he walked up the steps. 

“Yes, sir?” 

“No one touches her.” 

The young man made a face. “Sir?”

The Captain turned and continued up the steps. “Have Inah tend to her wounds and get her some fresh clothing and food. Then bring her to my quarters.” 

“Yes, sir.” 

Once the Captain had gone, the young man turned and looked down at your face, speckled with dried blood and ash and dust, your hair clumped together from not having been washed in what felt like ages. He wrinkled his nose at the sight of you. 

“Come on,” he grabbed onto your arm and pulled you roughly up the steps of the building. 

Inside there were many guards, roaming the halls in pairs. The rooms were dimly lit by wood-burning fires, or candles on chandeliers overhead. It was surprisingly quiet inside. So quiet it brought a ghastly unease, a stark contrast to the shell-shocked war zones you’d fled. 

He led you up a marble stairwell, down several hallways, until you reached the end of a narrow hall and he knocked on a single door at the end. The door creaked open and you saw a woman emerge from behind it. 

“The Captain wishes her to be cleaned and given fresh clothing,” Soobin pronounced, and you watched as an almost indetectable flicker went across her eyes, but she quickly regained her composure. 

“...the Captain?” she asked in a small, squeaky voice. 

“Yes, and once that’s done, the Captain wishes she be brought to his quarters. And instruct the servants to bring his supper as well.” He shoved you forward through the open door. 

“Yes, sir,” the woman said, bowing. The young man turned swiftly and left down the hall. 

She closed the door behind him, and looking around, you found yourself in the drawing room of what looked to be the servants’ quarters. There was no decor, sparse furniture, and the room felt cold compared to the rest of the house. 

“Lira,” the woman sighed. 

“Yes, Lady Inah?” you turned and saw a girl who could not be older than you emerge from an adjacent room. 

“Please go down to the kitchen and instruct the servants to bring supper to the Captain, he’s returned.” 

The girl gave a small bow before turning and leaving. As she left, two other girls came into the room. You stood, arms clasped in front of your chest, cold and unsure what to do. 

“Bring water and a washcloth,” the woman instructed. One of the girls nodded, bowing and leaving to her task. “And a fresh gown.” The other girl followed suit. 

The woman looked at you up and down, walking a circle around you like an appraiser assessing an item. The girls returned and they assisted the woman in stripping you of all your clothing against your yells of protest. They cleaned your face and body with washcloths and warm water that smelled of berries and mint. They poured water over your head, and ran a brush through your hair, and cleaned it with rose fragranced water. They cleaned the scrapes and cuts on your arms and your feet, and bandaged them lightly with linens. Then they pulled a white gown over your head. It hung loosely around your chest and torso, the straps were adjusted to keep from falling off your shoulders.

“Follow me,” the woman said. 

She led you out into the hall, through a labyrinth of turns and stairs to the uppermost level of the house, to a set of large double doors in a glossy, veneered oak. One of the doors was slightly ajar, and you could see the orange glow of a fire from within. 

“You will not speak unless first spoken to,” the woman instructed, coming to a halt before the doors. “You will obey the Captain’s wishes, all the Captain’s wishes.” She knocked quietly on the doors. “The Captain has never brought back a servant, and he has never wished to take any of the girls here at the compound,” she lowered her voice. “Consider yourself lucky. If the Captain fancies you, you may be allowed more freedoms and be given more rewards than any of the other servant girls here. The General holds him in the highest favor because of his wrath and cruelty in war. He is an esteemed soldier.” 

“Come in,” you heard his voice from within the room. 

You felt your chest tighten.

“Just keep your head down, and do as you’re told,” were her last words before she adjusted her posture, and cautiously, pushed the door open a bit more, and entered. 

“Sir, I have brought you the girl,” she pushed your forward. 

The room was expansive, and there were doorways you saw that led to adjacent rooms. At the far end, there were  large windows, reaching from the ceiling to the floor, they must’ve been eight meters tall. Two of them were doors, with large bronze handles that led out to a marble balcony. The room was lit by a billowing fire from a stone hearth. Against the wall there was a large bed under a velvet canopy. Occupying the rest of the room was a round table with two chairs beside it, on top of which held dishes, steam rising from them, a basket of assorted breads and pastries, and a tea set. And beside that, close to the fire, you saw a cot, low to the ground, covered with a wool military-issue blanket and a small, square pillow. 

“You may leave,” he said, taking a seat at the edge of the bed. 

The woman took a deep bow, and turned to leave the room. She closed the door behind her and all there was was you, standing in the middle of the floor of his room. And him, unfastening the buttons of his shirt, and sliding it from his body, and all he had was a dark t-shirt, tucked into the black military slacks. 

He sighed, tossing the shirt aside onto the floor before looking up at you. 

He’d pushed his hair back, revealing his eyes and in the orange glow of the fire, and in his dark irises you could see only what you’d always seen in the enemy - brutality, savagery, violence. 

He stood, and you listened to the thump of his boots against the marble floor as he made his way over to the table beside the fire. He pulled out a seat and stood behind it. 

“Sit.” 

You moved cautiously toward the table, your legs buckling from pain of overuse in all your running and hiding. You sat slowly, and he took a seat across the table from you. 

“Eat,” he moved an empty porcelain plate toward you, and began putting morsels of food onto it - a piece of bread, a bowl of soup, some kind of vegetable and meat dish you hardly recognized because it’d been so long since the last time you tasted anything other than stale and moldy bread. He began plating food onto his own dish as well, and you watched, listening with disgust as he held a piece of bread to his lips, ripping off a piece with his teeth. The sound of him chewing made you nauseous, you wanted to throw up. 

He stopped, noticing your obvious discomfort - you’d pushed yourself against the back of the seat, your body rigid. He set down the fork in his hand, sighing. 

“Eat, you must be starving,” he reached across the table, pushing your plate closer to you. 

You didn’t move. 

He brought the napkin that laid on his lap to his lips, then dropped it onto the table. “What’s your name?” 

You didn’t answer. 

He sighed, standing up and moving his chair beside you. You flinched. He sat down, too close to you for comfort, and took the utensils that lay beside your plate and began cutting the food into bite-sized pieces. He took the piece of bread and broke that up too, dropping pieces of it into the soup to soften. 

Your eyes caught the balcony door behind him, not five feet away - it was slightly ajar. He noticed this. 

“I wouldn’t recommend it,” his voice lowered, setting the utensils back down on the table. “I can’t do anything for you if you leave this room, if you attempt to flee. My men will shoot you immediately.” He sat back in his seat, resting his hands on his legs. “What’s your name?” he asked again. 

You still did not answer. 

“Even the people of this godforsaken country have names,” he sighed. 

This woke an anger in you. 

You grabbed the dinner knife from beside your plate and lunged toward him, but just as before, he was faster. He grabbed your arm, squeezing it and the knife fell from your hand. He pulled you onto the floor beneath him and he closed his other hand around your throat with enough force that you felt your larynx would be crushed if he closed his hand just the slightest bit more. He could kill you like this, and it would be easy for him. 

Your eyes began watering. You weren’t crying, the warm droplets that fell were due to you the pain of the hand closed around your throat, your eyes stung from the salt of your tears as you gasped for air. 

“You’re nothing but a killer..” you choked out. Something seemed to flash across his eyes, and he dropped you to the floor. You coughed hacking breaths, fighting for air. You had only the strength to hold yourself on your forearms. “This was a beautiful country, a peaceful country of farmers and horsemen. Why did you come..you destroyed everything..you know nothing of this land, of its people, you kill and torture indiscriminately..” you rasped. 

Through the hair that’s fallen over your face you could see him lean onto his elbows on his legs, sighing. After a moment he stood, bending over to pick you up in his arms, but you screamed and yelled, hitting him with ineffective fists and he walked you over to the cot in the corner, dropping you on it. 

You tried to stand, but your legs failed you, and his hand fell on your shoulder, and with just the smallest amount of force he was able to push you back down. 

He crouched in front of you, and reached a hand up to brush a few strands of hair from your shoulder, to examine your neck. You flinched at the contact, and he retracted his hand quickly. 

“I’ll have them keep the food here, but it’ll become cold if you don’t eat it soon. You’ll sleep here. I apologize this was all I could manage for tonight, I will arrange for better accommodations tomorrow. The adjacent room is my office, I’ll be taking meetings tonight and working, I hope that will not disturb you too much. Servants will also be coming in and out to bring tea, help yourself to whatever you’d like. There is a bathroom through that door on the other side.” He stood. “Do not attempt to escape. I say this for your own sake.” 

---

For as long as he could remember, he’d been a soldier. When he was young, in the dusty streets of his hometown, impoverished, homeless, without family, living off of what he could beg for, what he could find, what he could steal. 

All around him was uproar, anger and fury, unrest amongst the people. Disease ran rampant in this poor country, there was not enough food and water, the people suffered. He heard tell of a nation to the west - a thriving nation, of lush green fields that rose on high white towers of rock above a pale blue ocean. Of abundant food, of smiles and laughter, without worries of whether one would live to see the sunrise the next day. 

He lingered on that thought - the thought of sunrise. How long had it been since he’d seen the sun, shining clear and bright in the sky? When it didn’t seem so far away in the distance, hidden behind the billowing clouds of brown dust that plagued this nation? When was the last time he didn’t feel the hunger? The thirst, his skin and lips cracked and bleeding in the dry heat. 

War lords had risen across this sickened nation, amassing followers to their various causes, committing atrocities, pillaging towns and stealing what little was there in the first place. Until a man rose above it all, preaching that he would bring prosperity and hope to the people - that he would seek to bring the riches of the nation beside it to the people who were in real need of it. He tended the small, flickering flames that were people’s anger and discontent and grew it into an army, built on fury and malice, with a singular goal of bringing down the nation beside, and to share and revel in the riches that it would bring.

The boy was nineteen when he first saw a piece of dusty war propaganda on the street. He brushed the layer of dust away, and his eyes opened wide at the image it held - a drawing of young man in a peaked cap, facing a bright orange and red setting sun beyond the ocean, he stood on a cliff beside a pony, in grass so tall and lush it rose to his chest. 

He wondered what that would feel like. The grass that tickled at your skin, how soft it must be. The smell of the ocean. Rays of a warm sun hitting his bare skin. 

He’d kept the same spirit, the will to survive, and it served him well in the army. He rose through the ranks quickly. He fought well, better than anyone. He was ruthless. 

Soon, he’d gained the favor of the General, who named him Captain to an entire legion, which he led to devastating effect across the plains of the west to the ocean. 

He’d never wanted to kill anyone. He’d never wanted to burn down entire villages. He wanted to feel the sun, to dip his feet into the ocean, to know what sand would feel like beneath his feet. It began as a simple wish to do just that, but that wish became darkened by the deeds he piled up over the years, afflicted by an endless war, for the General did not stop at simply conquering this nation - his ambition and greed grew to an invasion of the entire continent. 

And as the years passed, he grew tired. Tired of the fire, of the burning smell of bodies in the streets, the wanton death and destruction. When he finally reached the ocean, the warmth of the sun on his face was not a welcoming sensation - the heat burned against his raw and scratched skin like a punishment for his sins. The waves of the ocean crashed against his body, cold as ice, and seemed to forsake him, pushing him back ashore. 

That night was not unlike any other he’d seen in the past six years. The general had instructions to burn down the three villages nearest to the compound they’d taken up, the former governor’s residence. His battalion was efficient, they had done this hundreds of times before. The homes and buildings in this small town burned down like butter close to a fire, this had become so easy for him he’d become numb to it. Numb to the destruction. 

A bomb dropped nearby and the row of buildings across the road from where he stood shook, cracks ran through the glass storefronts. Inside the buildings appeared dark and empty, he walked closer and broke through the glass of one of these storefronts. He detected movement, and on instinct, fired his weapon into the glass when he saw a figure stand from behind the counters, making a run for the rear exit. He fired again, but stopped immediately when he saw the long strands of dark hair. 

When he grasped onto your wrist and turned you to face him, he wondered how one could be so small, how one could be so fragile - he could break your wrist in his hand with just the slightest effort. When he looked into your eyes he was shaken by something familiar, something he recognized, a painful nostalgia. It was the look in your eyes - your spirit, that once held a will to fight, a will to survive, like he had as a child. But he could see that that spirit had been whittled down over the years, broken by a hopelessness so vast and heavy one could not escape it - you’d given up hope. 

“You’re nothing but a killer.” 

Your words echoed in his mind as he walked into his office in the adjacent room and took a seat behind a large mahogany desk. He felt goosebumps rise on his skin at the sight of your eyes, looking directly into his, without a single shred of fear - that they were cold, distant, detached, as the ocean had been when he’d finally touched it. They held no sympathy, though he did not expect they would. They were empty. 

“Sir, the General is here to see you.” 

He was brought out of his thoughts by a gentle knock on the door, and Soobin appeared through the frame, bowing. 

He nodded, “Soobin, please make arrangements to have furniture brought into this room first thing tomorrow. A bed, an armchair, and a nightstand to start. Have Inah bring the best linens she can find.” 

“Sir?” Soobin asked, a perplexed expression on his face. “What about your desk and chairs and books?”

“Have them moved into my room.” 

“Yes, sir,” he bowed again, and the Captain waved him off. As he left, the loud thumping of boots came into the room. 

“Taehyung.”

“General,” the Captain stood from his chair, taking a bow and saluting his commanding officer. 

“Oh please, there’s no need to stand on ceremony, it is only you and I here,” the General walked around to his side of the desk, his hands closing around the Captain’s arms, giving him a pat of approval on the shoulder. The Captain stepped aside, offering his chair to the General, who took a seat immediately. 

“The three towns northeast of here have been taken, tomorrow we will have scouts return to assess-”

“Oh Tae, there’s no need for that, I can get the details from one of the Lieutenants,” the General furrowed his brows, impatiently waving a hand in the air. 

“As you wish.” 

“Now tell me,” the General swung in his chair to face the Captain directly, his hands clasping together across his stomach. “I’ve just arrived here with my men, and what’s all this hubbub I’m hearing about a beautiful servant girl you’ve brought back?”

His jaw tightened. 

“Now, if I know you well, and I’d like to think I do after six years,” the General tilted his head quizzically to the side to look at the Captain’s face. “You are not the type to take a girl. Sure, all the men have taken girls for themselves, they have needs you know, I do not fault them for that.”

He looked down. 

“But you have seemed, over the years, to be quite, how shall I put it, well you look at the men with a bit of disdain? Though that would be a bit hypocritical, would it not, I know you’ve visited brothels here and there, I do understand that even you, the most stoic and controlled of soldiers must also give into your basest needs at some point..” 

He said nothing. 

“Oh now, surely I do not judge you, you are the best after all, you’re my favorite, you’ve won countless battles for me!” the General let out a nervous chuckle. “So it makes me wonder, who is this girl that you’ve suddenly decided to claim? Where did you find her? Where is she, may I see her?”

No, he answered definitively in his head. 

“She is being looked after by Inah,” he answered carefully after a moment. “She will be a serving girl in the compound, she will work in the kitchen and clean.” 

The General pondered this silently, much to the Captain’s dismay - he’d hoped he would not be questioned further on this. 

“So you mean to say..” the General began slowly, raising an eyebrow. “That this girl is free to serve whomever here?” 

The Captain stood abruptly. “Sir, as you said, I have done much for your,” he caught himself. “Our cause. I don’t yet have plans for this girl, but I do intend for her to earn her keep. As to whom she serves, I would greatly appreciate it if you and the other captains would remember that she belongs to me.” 

The General stared in incredulity at the Captain for a few moments, but the corners of his mouth soon lifted and he broke into boisterous laughter. “Oh Taehyung, my boy, look how serious you’ve suddenly become!” he stood, laughing and making his way over to the Captain. He put his hands around his shoulders once again, “Of course, she belongs to you, you found her, who else should we have her serve? Oh come now, you must be exhausted after this week, get some good rest. Though, if what I hear of this girl is true, you may yet have more physical exertion ahead of you tonight,” he chuckled. 

The Captain felt his hand close into the fist. It took all of his concentration and effort not to hit the General’s face, puffy and red from years of overindulging in liquor and food and tobacco. He composed himself, giving a low bow to the General as he turned and walked out into the hall. The Captain quickly closed the door behind him and took a deep breath in to calm himself. 

Slowly, he moved to the door on the opposite end of the room, peering quietly over the opening. Past the small dining table, he could see you, huddled back against the wall beside the cot. You sat on the floor, your knees pulled in tightly to your body, your head leaned to the side against the stone wall. The light emanating from the fire allowed him to see your face, your expression - that it had not changed since he left you a few moments ago. Your eyes held resignation, a numbing coldness.