#bt21

Most people start out young in the industry and you followed suit. You were 16 when you left your small hometown near the sea to pursue your dream. With your suitcase and backpack held tight, nerves a total wreck and worried parents, you thought everything would be fine and you'd do great. Spoiler: you did more than great. The trainee routine was tough, sticking you through the shit you thought would undo your motivation. The staff were harsh and honestly made it feel as if they thought you'd just give up and become another one of those 'one hit wonder' groups.

It was a small group of 4: yourself, Irene, Wendy and Mina. The group name was something that had various trial and error runs. StarNova was the first idea. Moonrise. You all settled on SPYNX, even though it wasn't something that was certain at the time.

After 6 years, SPYXN was global. K-pop had made its way into western radio thanks to the number one boy band, BTS, allowing other groups to rise to fame the same way they did. You'd met the members a few times over the years, always hearing about the new record they were breaking. It became your motivation, seeing how hard they had worked and made it possible for k-pop to become so mainstream all over the world.

Of course, you had an image. Your group started off with a grunge vibe; rebellious lyrics, punk-esque music videos and something that teenagers loved to use against their parents' desperation to keep them innocent (not that any of you wanted to cause a riot amongst broody teenagers and their parents...). But, as expected, society changed. People moved on from theme to theme and so did SPYNX. You kept up with the trends, slowly making your way up the charts and making a name for yourself (not like you'd done that already.. literally!).

It was hard and sometimes you felt like quitting. Sometimes you wanted to go back to your hometown and pretend you never left. Then you bumped into 19 year old Jeon Jungkook and suddenly, all the doubts you ever had of your music career disappeared. He was everything you wanted to be; part of the fastest-rising group in the world and a nickname of the 'golden maknae', how could anyone dislike him?

The years between when you first met Jungkook and now blurred into eachother. You kept working, kept performing and kept changing concepts when the world decided it needed something new. SPYNX won daesangs and western awards too, and soon enough you found yourself in the spotlight every week. Everyone was wondering what you were doing, what new album SPYNX would come out with.

Unfortunately, your friendship with the other group was hardly allowed to be shown as deep as it really was. Yes, they became much more popular than SPYNX did and much faster. Of course they did with their talent. Meaning that the world constantly had its eyes on them. Every breath they took was on camera, their lives belonging to their fans like they were some sort of living documentary. Something as simple as grabbing a coffee would spark endless rumours and became unecessary trouble, it was exhausting to even try. Jungkook's fans grew in number until you honestly believed it was half of the world's population.

While he watched you grow up, being three years younger than him, it was weird how you never really noticed the change until he got his first tattoo. It was the fact that you'd known eachother for so long and kept a stable friendship that you were able to stay friends through his military service.

When BTS went on a haitus and each of them had solo careers, Jungkook working on his album GOLDEN, it was those few years that Jungkook's friendship with you started to feel more romantic— but maybe he was just imagining it.

Now you were 25 and Jungkook was 28 and something had shifted in the last few years between you. What used to be an innocent escape for midnight ice cream started to feel like something deeper, your craving for ice cream becoming an unspoken craving for his company. Jungkook became the rock in your life and you became his.

When he met you, he was 19. Not quite mature, not fully grown, but smart enough to see that obviously you were pretty. Pretty in a friend way, like seeing a girl in your first year of highschool and thinking she was cute. Then, there was a sudden makeover of how he saw you. He realised you weren't the rebellious teenager he'd first met, you were older now. Mature, fully grown, smart enough to understand that Jungkook was attractive.

One of his new favourite things about you was that you decided to stop caring about most of the rules of being an idol. You didn't sugarcoat yourself anymore. It was suffocating and you were sick of being perceived as a kid who didn't know how to be an adult. You were 25. You'd had relationships, it would be worrying if you hadn't. Jungkook was 28, he'd had relationships. Likewise, it'd be worrying if he hadn't. He wrote a song about sex, did people really still think he was an innocent kid? Jungkook always cringed when he saw people calling him their "baby" or infantilisting him, it pissed him off to be seen as a kid.

He didn't admit it, but you knew he got his tattoos to get people to understand he was older now. Not a baby, not a teenager, not an innocent 15 year old who moved away from his family to the city to pursue his dream.

Now, he owned a big house (with a ridiculous lack of light, leaving you stumbling around half of the time you were at his house) and had finally started living freely— cursing publicly, talking about problems he’d struggled with like smoking, which you’d always disapproved of but supported him stopping the habit.

It was refreshing to see Jungkook feel free to live as he was.

Something was different when you were together. Your hand lingered on his bicep a second too long, his eyes stuck to you when you weren't looking. You were both older now, maybe the lack of romance was getting to your heads. Maybe? Or maybe you both knew that you were stupidly hot and stupidly single.

It was definitely both.

One Saturday night, Jungkook had invited a few too many people over for karaoke and ended up hosting a sort of party. Not that he'd care, he had all the alcohol to last the night regardless of how many people were drinking their stress away. The only thing he payed attention to all night was you. Of course you were the first one to get an invite after all the members, Jungkook wanted you next to him all the time.

God, if he could have you sleeping next to him he'd demand it every night.

The lights were dim, too dim, you'd argue. If you were sober enough to notice, which you weren't. You had been giggling all night, stumbling into your friends as an attempt at dancing, your cup never empty for more than ten seconds.

The night went on and people got tired from drunkenly pouring their hearts into the mic of Jungkook's karaoke machine, half-joking. Most people had left by 2am. It was just you on his leather couch by 3.08am. Jungkook had just finished clearing the cups away with Jin and Taehyung before seeing them out, returning to you sprawled lazily over his couch.

The basement was dark, only lit by the colours of the arguably oversized screen in front of you. Your skirt had settled just above your mid-thigh, catching a second of Jungkook's gaze before he desperately reminded himself that you were both drunk and best friends. He cleared his throat, head tilted with an annoyingly hot grin pulling at his pierced lips.

As you lifted your head, smiling at him, he let out a small noise of disapproval before sighing, settling beside you with his thighs spread comfortably as his tatted arm crossed over his chest.

"It's late— I should go home too"

You cleared your throat, risking a glance at him as you fixed your skirt, feeling the effects of the alcohol start to drown out all reasoning you had when you saw the way Jungkook shook his head. Your weak attempt at standing up made him groan, a brief comparison of you to a fawn crossing his thoughts before he tutted.

"How about just staying? I don't trust you to get home safely by yourself"

Jungkook watched as you frowned, clearly not appreciating his uneeded concern. You were 25, not 16 and drunk for the first time.

"For someone who hates being babied, you're the biggest hypocrite when it comes to me"

“Yeah, say what you want I’m not changing my mind”

The way Jungkook decided for you— it would’ve pissed you off it he didn’t look oh so hot, sat on the couch laid back into the dark leather, biceps straining against his jacket, rings catching the faint light and a stupidly attractive lopsided smile.

God, what was he doing to you? Self-control was always your forte and suddenly it disappeared completely from your vocabulary.

“I’m not 16 anymore—“

“No, you’re not. You’re older now.”

“…Exactly”

“You’re proving my point, you realise that?”

Jungkook rolled his eyes, holding his hand out like he expected you to take it without question. You were drunk, not blind. You saw the glint in his eyes as he stared at you. He looked so sure of himself that you almost took his hand, before realising what he was doing and shaking your head stubbornly, earning a tut from Jungkook.

“Please stay”

You rolled your eyes at his stupid puppy eyes, realising he was trying to guilt you into staying.

“No”

“Pretty please?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“I don’t trust you”

Jungkook gasped, clutching his chest like you’d actually shot him, recoiling back into the couch, making you smile no matter how much you tried to fight it off. He always knew how to convince you, he’d learned that much over the years.

“One more song?”

“One.”

The one song request of his turned into a full hour of karaoke, bringing you to 4am and back on his couch. You’d had a few more drinks, mostly laughing at how Jungkook opted for his lollipop instead of more alcohol.

Jungkook could sing, everyone in the world and their ancestors knew it. It was different actually watching him and hearing it right beside you. You’d always admired him, anyone would. So, with your unfinished drink settled between your thighs , head tilted in awe as Jungkook sang, you realised that you were in trouble.

A fuck ton of trouble.

Not only did you love someone, you loved Jungkook.

In the moment it caught you off guard. Is that what made you realise you were in love? Something you’d seen and heard a million times? You giggled, catching Jungkook’s attention as he ended the song, microphone clutched in his ring clad hand.

“Are you laughing at me?”

You fake coughed, clearing your throat as you rubbed the back of your neck, unsure of how to actually look at him now. He hadn’t changed, it had only been a few seconds. So why did it feel like your skin was on fire and your nerves were restless?

“No”

“Okay, weirdo”

Should you tell him?

“I’m not weird”

God it would be so complicated to date him.

“Yes you are”

What if he just saw you as a friend?

“No, Jungkook, I’m not”

“So why did you just—“

“I think I love you”

Maybe you didn’t love him and maybe you were just drunk and maybe you shouldn’t be talking in case you confessed out loud and maybe you didn’t notice Jungkook go still—

Oh shit.

You didn’t mean to say it at all. You wanted to at least think it through while you were sober, not drunk and realising you were in love with Jeon Jungkook.

For a second, he didn’t reply. You didn’t look up at him, not wanting to know his answer from the look on his face. For another few seconds, it was completely still in the room. While Jungkook (as usual) couldn’t keep his eyes off of your statue-like posture, you were silently cursing at yourself, thoughts a mix of regret and frustration at yourself for being drunk.

“I should go—“

Jungkook didn’t do anything half-assed. Especially not showing you that he couldn’t imagine his life with anyone else in it. His kiss sure as fuck wasn’t half-assed. You barely had time to blink before he had tugged your arm towards him, his tattooed hand slinking behind your neck to pull you in, lips pressing oh so perfectly into yours.

Jesus Christ, you knew you were missing out by not dating him but you never knew someone could make a kiss so perfect. Well, it was Jungkook, everything he did was perfect.

It felt like second-nature, the way your hand rested on his thigh, head tilting to slot yourself against him more comfortably, a small hum of appreciation falling past your lips and into his mouth. The cool metal of his piercing was quick to find its way against your lips and only when you thought you might pass out from a lack of air did you pull away from him. Jungkook frowned slightly, the crease between his brows making you laugh, shaking your head at him.

“Don’t look at me like that after you just kissed me”

“Like what?”

“Like I kicked a puppy”

“Come back”

“Let me breathe?”

Jungkook didn’t— of course he didn’t. He pulled you right into his lap, skirt straining against the stretch of your thighs around his, your hands slipping under his jacket to rest where his neck met his shoulder, leaning in to kiss him again. Jungkook looked up at you for a moment before he smiled, delaying the kiss to whisper into your mouth.

“I know I love you”

You rolled your eyes, lightly shoving him away even though you made no attempt to leave his lap.

“Shut up and kiss me again”

“You’re so hot”

“I said shut up”

“Yes ma’am”

His mouth pressed to yours again, hands sliding across your thighs, teasing at the hem before slipping slightly under, tugging you closer in the process of his wandering hands. Keeping your hands off of each other was far out of the question. You threaded your fingers into his hair, manicured nails lightly scraping against his skin as he bit at your lip, humming at the way you weren’t even trying to hide that you wanted him.

Jungkook paused for just a second to glance up at you, smiling as his kisses trailed down to the junction of your jaw and neck, gentle pecks turning to bites as he licked over each small bruise forming along his path.

He couldn’t believe he’d waited years to do this, god the things he’d missed out on. Your thighs pressed against his, all your weight keeping him on the couch (even though he could and would very easily lift you with a single hand) and Jungkook cursed against your skin.

“We’re drunk”

You sighed in response, eyes fluttering shut as you pulled him back up to kiss him again, contrasting the earlier tension as your lips brushed his. You knew you shouldn’t go any further, with the risk of waking up and realising you might’ve ruined your friendship.

“Okay”

“Okay?”

“Okay.”

At least you knew you wanted each other. Fuck, you’d wanted each other for years. You didn’t move from his lap, trying not to think about the burn in your chest as you watched his head tilt back, Adam’s apple bobbing, sharp jaw on perfect show, perfectly open for you to just—

You shook your head, forcing the thoughts away to follow him, leaning your head on his shoulder, pressing gentle kisses to his neck, staying content with this for the night. After a while he’d pulled you up, pushing one of his shirts over you and tugging you into his bed, whispering reassurances of ‘I love you’s and ‘we’ll figure it out’s into your hair.