So three weeks have passed now since BSTK Festival graced the arse-end of Essex once again for this year, and we feel now would be a good time for us to review the festival and recap our experiences of getting horrendously drunk and listening to good music in a field!
We rocked up on the Friday and as soon as our tents were set up we started boozing! Actually, not entirely true. On the way in my box of Woo Woo split, had to neck that shit in the queue (RIP Woo Woo I’ll never forget you).
We spent the first day walking around the arena, drinking and checking out what the festival had to offer. Bought some horrendously wavey clothes, and a football shirt from a team who most likely play in the Estonian 4th division or some shit. Anyway, the day went on, and we got fucked up. Then, the headline act for the night rolls around; none other than the boi himself, Mark bloody Ronson! He played an amazing DJ set filled with some amazing hip hop bangers, and towards the end paid tribute to Prince, Amy Winehouse, and others who have passed away over the last few years. Class touch Marky. The only downside to the whole set was that the sound was very poor and kept cutting out. Hard to properly get into it when every 30 seconds the music stops and the groans of hundreds of people can be heard. After that, we headed to the Good Shed (ketty dance tent), and it truly is what you expect it to be. Disgusting house and drum and bass, people off their faces and just a sense that you couldn’t find anywhere duttier if you tried.
Saturday was the big day for us. Woke up with a disgusting hangover, but went home for a quick shower and then met down the pub for a bev before setting back off to the festival. It was business as usual for the next few hours; sinking a metric shit ton of booze in the glaring sun. However at around 4pm we headed down to the car park with around 30 people for our yearly tradition; getting absolutely smashed and listening to amazing tunes for an hour. This is different to your standard ‘lads drinking sesh wheeey’ however. No no no. There is an undertone of violence with it, and a feeling that you can’t sink any lower than you currently are but you love it. When you’re getting through a pack of Special Brew in an hour, you know you’re at rock bottom. The best place to be. Hands down the best image of the whole festival was seeing our very own Danger Dan doing his fifth beer bong, genuinely passed out against a car. What a hero. Come along next year and experience it for yourself!
After that, we carried on as usual, sinking pints and shit until 10.30pm came… We went to the Saloon Bar to see the next big thing. Power Hour Presents were making their debut, and boy they did not disappoint. If you haven’t heard of these boys before, you’ll want to know about them now. Their set started with them walking out to a series of hilarious samples explaining the drinking rules that were in place for their set, all while dressed in various incredible outfits and with beer bongs in hand. Then the music started. Free From Desire. It fucking went OFF! The whole Saloon Bar dancing around, chanting to the song, party poppers going off and inflatable footballs pinging around everywhere. It was mayhem! The set continued and some absolute bangers were played (World In Motion, Don’t You Want Me and Parklife to name a few). I saw people of at least 50 years old doing beer bongs in the middle of the dancefloor, people climbing on tables and everyone having an amazing time. Genuinely the highlight of the weekend! Definitely check them out (https://goo.gl/knJJkI - Link to their Facebook). You heard it here first, these boys are something special! After Power Hour Presents had left the stage, local legends Stealing Signs played the headline set in the Saloon Bar and absolutely bossed it, as they always do. All in all, the perfect way to close out the night.
Sunday came around and we essentially repeated what we had done on Saturday (shower, pub, get fucked in a car park). Fucking class! The evening came around and Kelis was headlining, so we went to see her. The sound had improved significantly compared to Mark Ronson’s set, which was a relief. Kelis was good, not great. Not bad, just, alright to be honest. We left to watch the extra-time being played in the Euro 2016 Final, which in truth was disappointing as well. I mean did anyone other than the Portuguese want to see Ronaldo’s smug face as he celebrated with the trophy? I think even they felt bad about it to be honest. Anyway, after that the night closed out, and so did the festival! We woke up with awful hangovers and were treated to shit weather as we packed down our tents. Typical England that!
BSTK had so many highlights this year, but while it was so good in parts, there was also the sense that it had declined in quality with regards to its general vibe and the festival itself. Whereas with previous years, it was a very messy festival where you went with the intention of getting fucked, there was still a friendly festival with good music and equally good vibes. However this year, the music was, for the most part, all dance, EDM, house. Which is good, but not when it’s the only music being played. The atmosphere of the festival didn’t feel as friendly and enjoyable as previous years either, which really is a shame considering how good we know BSTK can be!
All in all, I’d have to give BSTK 2016 a 6/10. The potential is there for it to be so much better. Shit, I’ve been there in previous years where the festival was perfect! Just this year it was lacking. Hopefully, next year will bring the festival back to how it used to be.
A good start would be getting Power Hour to headline the Main Stage ;)
