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rough, breathy laughter slides between them, triggering the angel's grip to tighten, the fabric of dean's jacket bunching beneath fingers where he keeps him. castiel looks at him â cerulean hues cutting through flesh as though that stare alone could keep dean nailed against the wall like some martyr awaiting judgement. the way those eyes fixes on him isn't sacred ; itâs dangerous, scraped completely raw to the bone.
castiel has already burned enough bridges in heaven for this. for him. and he would still set the rest ablaze if it meant keeping him standing.
jaw locking, one forearm pressing hard beside the man's shoulder to cage him. the words that leave him next sharp enough to slice, ' do not do that. ' a warning, because he won't allow dean to speak to him as if this is already over, after all the things he's sacrificed for him. eons in heaven, eons of following orders, defying them, and getting a price put on his head for it. ' you don't think i don't understand hopelessness ? several of my own kind have made me their prey for choosing your side. and still, i'm here â trying to help you and your brother stop the supposedly inevitable. this apocalypse you are apparently determined to march toward. '
he feels the shift against himself, the hunter's hands gripping at the fabric, before they still, fingers curled tight ; a drowning man holding onto the beige of his vessel's coat like a buoy. what do you want me to do ? that bitterness in deanâs voice earns him nothing but another cold stare. castiel doesn't know anymore. god is absent. and perhaps god truly doesn't care anymore. that thought sits like rot beneath him. he can't do more than to hope otherwise.
slowly, he leans in. words breathed against the thin skin of his mouth, ' i want you to stop looking for permission to surrender. ' it escapes the angel harsh, and much more desperate than intended. ' what makes you think that you, of all people, are permitted to be the one who gives up, after everything ? ' another shove follows. ' answer me, dean. '
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