#bropocalyptic

OH I SEE YOU HAL youre 100% RIGHT

you and @lightbvlb both said dirk so here

realistic: dirk never learned how to swim. he fished or droned. too scared of water, wont admit it

not realistic but funny: whenever dirk breaks his glasses, he has to beg jake or jade to send him a new pair

heart-wrenching: he is so overtaken by himself that sometimes he wont even get out of bed. hell avoid looking in any reflective surface, hell let his dream self drift unconscious and just try to exist as only one person, but it never works

reject canon: dirk will smile when hes working. he goes B) when he makes robots

for dirk:

a. he absolutely LOVES plants because they’re something that’s alive and can always be with him to remind him that he isn’t alone anymore but that don’t force him to talk about his emotions. he probably has a cactus or something in his house postgame

b. i just absolutely adore the idea of dirk with real long and thick and fluffy hair. it goes past his hips and he brushes it neatly into a ponytail like two or three times a year and other than that it’s a bird’s nest clusterfuck that’s always full of screws he misplaced and flowers that jake put in there and sometimes an entire pair of sunglasses. the more absurdly improbable the things in there, the better. just go crazy aah go stupid ahh

c. probably as a result of god tiering, he can see/feel [in a very weird and metaphorical way] his possible splinters at some points. unfortunately this is a completely fuckass useless power that doesn’t have much utility beyond constantly forcing him to get up close and personal with his intrusive thoughts and therefore making him feel bad. these have a tendency to really plague him on bad days and DEFINITELY don’t help his already utterly tanked self-esteem

d. the epilogues can suck eleventy fucktillion dicks because dirk strider starts to genuinely work through his trauma and depression postgame with the help of his friends who he loves and wants to see happy. he gets better and works towards being the best possible version of himself and maybe even experiencing but a single crumb of serotonin. he deserves it.

Ralsei from Deltarune needs a hug!

bet on it - troy fucking bolton himself. the man the myth the fucking legend