#brooks posts

Got told to sit down and stay down. At least the chores are done. Four loads of laundry today, the kitchen cleaned and dishwasher run. Kitty box has been cleaned. And I cleaned the bedroom. Guess that stay down is necessary, the left knee is kicking a little. Literally. Can't take out trash, I don't believe we would make it down the stairs. Made the budget with Em, went over the budget twice, calmed her down from a minor anxiety attack. This is usual, this always happened the week before and especially the day before we get our monthly check. At least we didn't hear her numbers in the headspace this month, I don't think I could have handled it. XP -Brooks

Been wearing the KT tape for several days now. There is an Pain Day in between this one and placement of the KT tape. Pain is distinct, sitting directly under our knee cap, in the front part of the joint. Our ankle has popped numerous times throughout the day, loudly and with a minor ache. It is a sharp pain, limiting my walking to very little, and standing to more painful than usual. Will edit with the amount of Days KT Tape has been worn. __ Days. -Brooks/Emily

This System is pretty numb to death and loss. Death of family members, even close ones, makes us dissociate off any emotion to the event. Even the loss of our favorite grandfather only brought tears for an hour, and that was at his funeral. The neighbors below me are shaking my apartment. I mean, my entire apartment. Because someone lost an uncle. They're banging on things hard enough to make the walls shake and echo up. The entire floor moved earlier. It's scaring the fuck out of our System. Everyone is silent. Emily is cowering. The Littles are not singing or playing; they are hiding. We're afraid to walk on our floors, because they've complained about us walking too loudly, when we're just fucking walking. I am not sympathetic, because death is death. Death happens. We deal with death and loss our whole lives. Fuck. The only person we're scared of loosing is our Partner, and possibly our Mother. I dunno, not really caring makes me seem like an ass. But we really can't bring ourselves to show the "proper" emotion. Quit scaring the fuck out of my System. -Brooks