Another juicy way to interpret the RT asking Heinrix to stay is as a bid for comfort after a fairly harrowing experience, an experience which he contributed to despite his efforts to soften the blow, which makes him shutting them down and leaving hurt even worse for everyone involved. But he also knows that if he doesn’t get out of there now before their emotions catch up to them or, god forbid they start crying, he might not have the strength to leave. Bonus points if he just barely gets out of the room before he hears the muffled sobs start.
yes, it’s crazy to me how the game just kinda goes yeah, but, i mean, getting your home and sanctuary broken into, being interrogated by the one person who could absolutely harm and disappear you + someone you’re potentially romancing betraying you isn’t really a big deal. it just happens. i guess there’s something about xavier being in the trial during act 3, but it felt less like a trauma response and more like, well, he fits here, so. especially since theodora also appears, and the player may only have an inking that they didn’t get along. brother, some rts would be shaking and sobbing by the end of that interrogation.
but, awh, he’s going to feel fucking horrible.
he would like to stay, very badly, and hold them, even non-sexually, especially if they, the rogue trader, look at him with a pitiful, on the verge of tears expression. he almost does, his body tenses, and he smothers an urge to step forward and hold them. it’s not right, but he almost doesn’t care. almost.
but as soon as xavier places an arm on his shoulder, heinrix just allows himself to be steered away. this is proper. this is better. he really doesn’t have any place comforting them, does he? no, no, not at all.
he helped orchestrate this traumatic, or at the minimum upsetting, event. it was because he fed xavier information through reports, because he followed the rogue trader around so diligently, because he refused to write down anything but the truth, and what they did. this is, really, mostly he fault. he may not have executed them, but he sharpened the blade before handing it off.
and he is deeply unsettled. he has done this before with xavier, brought him information and presented a plan for confrontation before they both decided to pay a visit, so why does this one hurt so badly? why does he feel hot under the collar, furious at being forced to do this? why does he want to snap at his mentor, the man who gave him everything, and expects so little in return?
logically, he knows because he has begun to adore the rogue trader, and care for them past a normal, average protecting a key figure of the expanse way. but that is… unacceptable. he is undeserving of those things, like how he never deserves to comfort them, and especially so with the lord captain. if he craves touch so badly, if he is so weak, he can find a fling with someone less important, a less valued target.
xavier squeezes his shoulder, and heinrix hallucinates a sob. surely, just a hallucination. it has been a very long night indeed.
someone else will find them soon, and comfort them more than he could. he tries to soothe himself with that thought. it doesn’t help.
